


Defying Gravity

by Shiguresan



Category: Beyblade
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Sex, Angst, Bondage, Comedy, Drama, Drug Abuse (Not in Main Pairing), First Time, Gay Sex, Ice Skating, M/M, Male Slash, Oral Sex, Romance, Shounen-ai, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-12-06
Updated: 2008-04-24
Packaged: 2018-01-09 05:47:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 50
Words: 166,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1142193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shiguresan/pseuds/Shiguresan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alternate Universe - A fresh start at college doesnt go well for Rei. His new friends are all gay and his roommate is a homophobic perve who...is a figure skater? He saw Kai on the ice and their lives changed forever. For the better?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Jet-lag From Hell

**Author's Note:**

> Began writing this when I was around 15/16 but it will always have a special place in my heart and it received good responses on other websites so I wanted to share it with everyone here too. It's around 9 years old now though so please be kind. Please enjoy :)
> 
> Disclaimer: Don't own Beyblade or it's characters, they belong to Takao Aoki. The title and chapter titles, plot and any extra characters in here are mine unless otherwise stated, so no steal, no sue please. If you want to borrow my extra characters please ask first.

**Jet lag From Hell**  
~One~  
  
  
  
The air within the confines of the college classroom was so humid that even if the lecturer had been in the slightest bit interesting, the students would still have found it next to impossible to actually care about the words spilling from his mouth. It was amazing, approaching the end of September and still Professor Hura had managed to make his lecture hall maintain the climate of a desert island with no shade, with a possibly erupting volcano nearby. Rei fanned himself with his hand as he fought to keep his golden eyes open.   
  
The first day of college (meaning enrolment) had not been what he’d expected... On so many levels. His previous flights over to the USA had been cancelled repeatedly, meaning he hadn’t actually arrived until this morning and was suffering from jet lag. On arriving he was already nearly late, and one of the TA’s had offered to take his bags to his dorm while he attended the introductory lecture to the freshman students. Either way you spun it, the Chinese boy was tired, bored and was inches away from his head slamming onto the desk and falling into a deep sleep; _being in college is exhausting,_ he thought. Trying not to think how many sleepless nights he’d have from just trying to keep up with everyone else, not mention scoring at least average on mid-terms and any surprise quizzes. _This isn’t high school anymore, my high school life may have officially sucked beyond belief but this is a new place, and I’m a new person, this time nothing will stand in my way!_  
  
“Pssst!” Rei looked about, trying to see where the noise was coming from. “Hey!” whispered a voice, and Rei turned to his right, finding himself faced with a vaguely familiar green haired boy. “It’s Rei, isn’t it?” The Raven-haired boy nodded.  
“I’m King, Kevin King, and I swear I really didn’t meant to introduce myself in Bond, James Bond kind of way but there you go, also I think you should know I talk alot.” Rei smiled, noting the nervous twitch in his eye.   
“Do I know you?”  
“Yeah, we were on the same flight over from china when we came to view this place before enrolling, remember, at the end of July?” Rei nodded in realisation.  
“Sure, some English travel-agent spilled his milkshake over you and you tried to smother him with your pillow.” Kevin grinned, evidently glad to see himself remembered for his violent reputation.   
“So, why’re you so spent already? We haven’t even had classes yet.”  
  
Rei yawned, casting an uneasy glance down at the professor, not wanting to be yelled at his first day.   
“I didn’t get here til this morning, I’m shattered.”  
“Bad luck. Still, once this ass is finished you can go catch some shut-eye. What dorm you got anyways?” Rei delved into his pocket, pulling out a crumpled piece of paper with his dorm number on.  
“712, X block,” Rei as well as a few of the surrounding classmates looked at the green haired boy as he let out a low whistle. “What is it?” Kevin gave him a grin, one of his fang-like teeth exposed as he smirked at the Raven-haired boy.   
  
“Wait til you see who your roomie is!” he whispered, and Rei frowned.  
  
 _Great that’s all I need. People tell horror stories about nightmare roomies at college...Damn me and my desire for distance from my family and a decent education! Rei sighed deeply, maybe I should get the next flight back to china, there are plenty of decent jobs at MacDonald’s that I don’t need an education for. The one close to home don’t give a damn if you show with a bra on your head and a spoon up your ass! So long as you can say ‘do ya want fries with that' with a cheesy grin on your face._   
  
Though he didn’t quite know how he managed it, Rei was successful in not falling asleep during the introductory lecture. But tired though he was, it was still difficult for _anyone_ to fall asleep with a chatterbox like Kevin sitting next to you. Once or twice Rei had cast a sideways glance at the professor, and noted that he had almost caught them whispering twelve different times.  
  
 _Still, now it’s over and I can go, unpack and get some rest._  
  
Imagine the look on the boy’s face when he stepped out into the sun drenched courtyard, and saw how huge this new place truly was.   
“Damn,” was all he could say as he looked around him in a daze. _Which one is damn X block?_ The students around were walking and chatting to their friends, the sun was shining down and petals from the cherry-blossom trees were drifting down from their branches, everything was perfect, except Rei’s mood.  
  
 _I think I’m gonna cry if I don’t get to bed soon,_ he thought, as he looked about even more confusedly. _That return flight is looking pretty good, right about now._  
  
“Excuse me, excuse me,” called a voice from behind him, he spun round to find himself face to face with a chipper looking blond boy. “Do you know where ‘Y’ block is? I have been to my dorm already, but I’ve just got out of the lecture, and now I’m lost again.” Rei shook his head with a slight smile.  
“Sorry, I’m lost myself so…”  
“At least I’m not the only one,” the Blond said chirpily, “this place is really easy to get lost in ya know? It’s like that place in that book or something…” Rei smiled funnily, raising a thin black eyebrow.  
“ _The Labyrinth,_ by any chance?” Rei nearly jumped out of his skin as he started jumping up and down and clapping his hands together.  
“Yes! Yes, that’s it! How’d you know that?” Rei didn’t say anything, just shrugged. “Sorry for the hyper-ness, I’m a big fan of the sugar rush.” Rei smiled again.  
“It’s fine. It’s kinda nice to know there are people at this college that still have a sense of humour.” The blond smiled, let out a chibi-ish squeak, that Rei guessed meant he was pleased.  
  
“Wanna be lost together?” asked the hyper blond. Rei nodded. “Yippee!” The Rei couldn’t help but grin himself as the Blond hopped along beside him; it seemed that he was making friends quicker than he thought he would.   
“So what’s your name anyways?” asked Rei. The hyper boy squeaked again.  
“Max Tate. Well, I mean, you can just call me Max, only my Grandpa call me by my surname.” Rei grinned, finding he was doing that a lot lately.  
“Rei Kon.”  
“Konnichiwa Rei Kon,” giggled Max. Rei blushed.  
“Well, I’m Chinese, not Japanese, but, _Konnichiwa_ to you too anyway.” Max stared at him for a second, then smiled that same goofy smile again. “And you can just call me Rei.”  
“Yay Rei! Yay Rei!” chirped the Blond, and the Raven-haired boy rolled his eyes, he liked this boy, he was - different.   
  
After a considerable amount of walking and being lost, (and Max squeaking out Japanese phrases, even though Rei kept telling him he was Chinese), they found ‘X’ and ‘Y’ block, conveniently next to each other. “Well I’ll drop by – what dorm was yours again?”  
“712.”  
“Oh, well, I’ll stop by later and see if your roomie has eaten you or not,” funny enough, Rei was not encouraged by these words. “Don’t worry; I won’t come by 'til the sugar is out of my system.” Rei smiled as Max waved and hopped off through the entrance to the ‘Y’ block, leaving Rei standing alone outside the double doors that was the entrance to his building.  
  
It was nice enough inside, the corridors weren’t as tight as he’d expected, though he didn’t know how many dorms they’d fit in one block, (granted it was a huge building but still!) Reading the little gold numbers on each of the mahogany doors, Rei found what he was looking for (eventually).  
  
“709, 710, 711 – thank fuck for that – 712.” Rei sighed in relief as he stopped at the door, delving into his backpack for the key. The boy pulled out the shiny piece of metal, and pushing into the lock with a slight turn, he opened the door slowly.   
  
The raven-haired boy closed the door behind him, as he stepped into what would be his new home, (for the next two years or so anyway). To his surprise it was actually quite large. It seemed that he had walked directly into the living area, equipped with a couch, stove, refrigerator and all such necessities, complete with a door that he suspected lead into the bedroom. _These American colleges go all out, this is really good furniture,_ he thought as he inspected the stand where the television or hi-fi unit would go.   
  
As he straightened up to let his eyes take in his new surroundings, he realised that he could hear something, a muffled noise. _Music,_ he thought. Walking slowly around the suitcases piled neatly on the floor, (some were his and some weren’t), he made his way over to the door. Rei let his ear press against the door for a moment, before turning the handle, and stepping inside the bedroom. The boy looked around confusedly, seeing where the music was coming from, before he found it exactly.   
  
A blush suffused the bridge of his nose with colour, as he looked to the floor. Once inside he recognized the music as _“Devil Inside”,_ by Utada Hikaru, though he didn’t recognize the stranger singing quietly along with the lyrics as he unpacked his suitcases and boxes. _So I guess this is my roomie,_ he thought as the taller boy moved slightly to the rhythm of the music.   
  
_“Maybe there’s a devil, or something like it inside, Maybe there’s a devil, somewhere lurking deep inside me...”_  
  
Rei blushed an even darker crimson as he cleared his throat, letting the pewter-haired boy know his presence. The boy turned to face Rei, without even seeming surprised, or changing his expression. He scanned Rei’s appearance carefully, before looking directly at him.   
“Err…” mumbled Rei awkwardly, why was he getting so embarrassed? He couldn’t say anything, for fear of saying anything stupid as he usually did, but this was a person he would have to live with for the next two years, and it already hadn’t started well enough already, though he had a tendency to make it that much worse.  
  
Before the Rei knew it, he was beaten to speech. “You’re Rei Kon then?” he said expressionlessly. Rei nodded slowly, finally ridding his face of any kind of blush or silly look. For some reason, though he didn’t know if it was meant to or not, but the way he said his name, it seemed less welcoming than he’d expected. _Jackass,_ he thought.  
“Yeah, I’m your roomie, I guess…” upon speaking he could have sworn he saw a slight sneer on the older boy’s face before he continued unpacking.  
  
 _He’s turning his back on me – without even introducing himself – man he’s rude…_  
  
“And you are…?”  
“Hiwatari,” replied the slate-haired boy casually, not even turning to face him.   
“Second or last?” asked Rei. At last the boy turned to face him, still wearing that disgusted look on his face, which was marked with two dark blue triangles that complemented the dark blue of his dual coloured hair. Now that Rei looked at him a little closer, he took in his mysterious appearance a little more.  
  
 _He has two hair colours? No way is that natural…_  
  
“My first name is for my friends, _Kon,”_ the older boy informed him, making Rei feel taken aback slightly by he didn’t know what. His rudeness, or the hostile way he called him by his surname?  
“I’m not asking to be your friend, moody bastard,” replied Rei, his tone raising a little louder than he’d intended, “but you could at least be civil, don’t you people know any manners, or is that something only taught where I come from?” the boy looked him up and down once more.  
  
“You look like you’ve fallen out of the faggot-tree and hit every branch on the way down.” Rei scowled at him, biting his tongue. “Or maybe someone pushed you out of the tree, your cute blond boyfriend perhaps?” Rei’s eyes widened.  
“What’s Max got to do with this? And how do you know I was talking to him?” Hiwatari rolled his eyes slightly with a sneering smile.   
“There are windows in this place you know, and besides, the kid is Kevin’s room-mate, I saw him not a moment ago and he said he saw Max _fagging_ you up.”  
  
Rei stared at him, if looks could kill, Hiwatari would have been doused with petrol and set ablaze. “What’re you looking at?” Rei sneered.  
“I don’t know, they just don’t label bad-tempered bastards like they used to anymore.” Hiwatari smiled nastily.  
“Well, maybe they thought bad-tempered bastard wouldn’t fit on my head.”   
“Certainly not on the head _downstairs,”_ replied Rei with a cocky smile, “they couldn’t fit a toothpick on that"  
  
It all happened so fast that it took Rei a second to realise what was happening. Hiwatari lunged for him, seizing his throat and throwing him hard up against the wall, making Rei choke slightly in need for air. “DON’T talk about things you don’t know FUCK ALL ABOUT!!!” Rei coughed hard as he felt the boy’s grip on his throat tighten. “And as for politeness…” he continued, his face so near to Rei’s that the bridge of his nose was touching his own, “I don’t know about where you come from but where I come from it was a lot harder to get along in life that just mind your fucking p’s and q’s. So you ignorant little prick, don’t talk to me unless you have a single clue what you’re on about.”  
  
With this he released the raven-haired boy and he let him fall to the floor, going back to his unpacking as if nothing had happened. Rei coughed as he held his throat where Hiwatari had held him, _I can tell this isn’t going to be an easy place to live,_ he thought, glaring at the back of Hiwatari with pure venom, _that return flight to China’s really looking good now…_  
  
  
TBC


	2. The Gay Mafia

The Gay Mafia  
  
~Two~  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Despite the fact that just sleeping in the room with a crazy guy with no first name made him edgy, Rei couldn’t even manage to keep one eye open as he slept. He was too tired to care about what Hiwatari might do to him while he slept, thoughts such as waking up with permanent ink on his face, or put his hand in warm water. But his exhaustion got the better of him, and no sooner had he laid his head down on the pillow than he fell asleep. The raven-haired boy was thankful to find that he was in one piece when he woke up. Rei moaned as he rolled over, avoiding the sunlight shining in his eyes, and frowned at the time shown on the digital clock at his bedside, 6:15am! He thought, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep again.  
  
  
  
Rei looked up at the sound of light breathing, to see Hiwatari shifting in his sleep, the duvet falling slightly from its position over the slate-haired boy’s body. Rei found himself blushing violently at the expanse of skin that revealed itself. What the hell? Why am I getting so worked up? It’s not as if I’ve never seen another naked guy before! Without actually realising, he stared thoughtfully at the older boy, he seemed so peaceful and carefree, not at all like what he was when he was awake. At least when he’s asleep he’s quiet, he thought, smirking slightly at the thought. Still staring, his own breath hitched in his throat. What the hell? The guy’s an absolute bastard! Why am I getting all fluttery and womanish over this?  
  
  
  
“Something caught your interest?” Rei nearly jumped as he heard the voice, and he snapped back into reality, realising he was still staring at the boy, but also realising that he’d woken up.  
  
“Uh, well I…”  
  
“What were you looking at?”  
  
“…”  
  
“Planning on jumping me when I sleep?” Rei narrowed his eyes. “Or were you just feeling the need for a good stare?”  
  
“Okay for fuck’s sake I’m sorry for staring, you don’t need to be such a bastard!” Rei yelled, turning over sulkily, and pulling the duvet up to his neck. Damn it, he always has to go that one-step further than he should, I guess he knows what homophobic really means. Still fuming, he closed his eyes, determined to fall back to sleep and not have to look at that damn face for at least another few hours.  
  
  
  
Suddenly he felt hot breath in his ear, and his face went hot in response.  
  
“No need to get so huffy,” whispered Hiwatari. Rei whimpered as he felt the pewter-haired boy’s deft fingertips trace under the blankets, running slowly down his abdomen, and even lower. The raven-haired boy whimpered, flushing furiously. “Do you know how gorgeous you look when you get all worked up like that?” he flushed darker.  
  
  
  
“Hi-Hiwatari? What’re you-” he broke off as the older boy’s free hand turned Rei’s face to meet him, pressing his lips ardently against the other boy’s. Rei’s eyes widened, moaning into the kiss as Hiwatari’s hand snuck under the waistband of his boxers, his fingertips teasing the tip of the already erect organ. He didn’t know what to do, he wanted to push him away, he hated him, but for some reason he felt like he was unable to do so, for some reason, he was actually enjoying it. The kiss broke and the raven-haired boy tossed his head to the side as the older boy pumped his hardened erection.  
  
“You’re blushing, are you enjoying yourself?” Rei couldn’t reply, his words caught in his throat with the pleasure as Hiwatari pumped him faster, and harder.  
  
“Nnh…” moaned Rei, turning his face into the pillow to muffle the noise.  
  
“Rei…?”  
  
“Oh my god…” gasped the raven-haired boy.  
  
“Kon…?”  
  
“Kon!!!” Rei shot up from his dream, finding Hiwatari standing next to him.  
  
“What?”  
  
“I was shouting my head off, what the hell were you moaning about? I thought you were in pain.” Rei flushed.  
  
“I was dreaming is all.”  
  
“Whatever, classes start in a little while, get your ass up or you’ll be tardy.” Rei was nervous when he didn’t leave. “Well, are you getting up?” Rei blushed slightly.  
  
“Can you…turn away?” he asked quietly. For a moment the slate haired-boy thought he was joking, but soon realising he was quite serious.  
  
“What’re ya? Shy?” Rei blushed darker, avoiding the boy’s eyes. Hiwatari smiled slightly, and turned, pausing at the bedroom door as he went to walk out. “By the way, my name’s Kai, Kai Hiwatari.” Rei looked at the back of him in confusion. “I thought I’d tell you…at least then the next time you have a dirty dream about me you don’t have to keep moaning my surname.” Rei’s eyes widened in horror as Kai left the room, shutting the door behind him. Rei covered his face with his hands. Oh my god, I’m such a fucking idiot! He felt like smacking his head against the wall in embarrassment, as he sat there, determined not to move until the bulge in his pants eased off. Well, excellent start to a new school Rei, I think you gave off quite a good impression, he thought sarcastically, if I wanted my roommate to think I’m gay anyway…  
  
“He’s gonna make life for me here as hellish as possible,” he said to himself, “I just know it…”  
  
  
  
  
  
***  
  
  
  
  
  
He’s a rigid bastard I’ll give him that, thought Rei as he watched Kai, two seats down and across from where he sat in the lecture hall between Max and Kevin. But now I think about it, I suppose he is kinda – NO! DON’T THINK THAT DAMMIT! Kevin and Max looked across Rei to each other, sharing a smile at the look on their friend’s face. That’s disgusting! I can’t like a Guy! Especially one like that! Again he found himself looking to the back of the slate-haired boy, I’m just so fixated on being liked in this damn place that I – “Ow!” he hissed as something collided with the side of his head. “What?” Kevin grinned.  
  
“And the prey has spotted it’s predator,” he whispered, Rei blushed.  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“Did the bastard get ya last night?” asked the green-haired boy. “I would have thought you’d be on the return flight to China now.” Rei smiled uneasily, if only they knew…he lost his train of thought, not wanting to think about what they’d do if they knew he was questioning his sexuality.  
  
“Hey?” Rei looked to the unusually calm blond beside him, “What’s eatin’ ya?” asked Max.  
  
“Nothing,”  
  
“Guy troubles?” asked Kevin. Rei’s blush deepened.  
  
“What?”  
  
“Who’re you kidding? You’re totally hot for Kai,” teased Max.  
  
“What?”  
  
“We can tell by the way you gaze longingly into his crimson eyes.”  
  
“Kev!”  
  
  
  
Suddenly Rei, Kevin and Max looked about them, noting that the whole class and the professor were looking at them expectantly.  
  
“Oh, I’m glad to see we’re worth your attention boys,” said the Professor sarcastically, raising his eyebrows. Fuck it, thought Rei, now we’re in for it. “You’re doing very well boys, first day and already you’re breaking the rules.” Rei watched as their classmates sniggered behind their hands to their friends, I feel, really small right now, he thought. “It’s always easy to tell students apart from each other in the early days,” he continued, “the delinquents, the ones that don’t listen, the ones that feel their too good to abide by the rules set for everybody else, they’re gone within the first two months, whether that means kicked out, or they take off, they don’t last long.” Rei met Kai’s eyes as the professor spoke, and he looked away quickly as he saw the smug look on his face. “I see those very same occurrences in your not too distant future, Mr Kon.” Rei looked up as he named him particularly. “Daydream on your own time Kon, this isn’t high school anymore.”  
  
  
  
With that he returned to his lecture, leaving Rei somewhere between upset and angry. High school’s over, huh? He thought, clenching his fists under the desk, somehow they can make me feel like I’m still in high school; nothing ever goes right, just like before…  
  
  
  
The bell went half-an-hour later, signalling the end of that class. The students piled out into the halls, Rei in their midst. He hadn’t even had lunch yet and already, he was having an impossibly bad day.  
  
“Hey, Rei!” called Max, Rei turned to see the blond-boy calling him over.  
  
“Hey, sorry for getting you into trouble before,” apologized Kevin. Rei smiled.  
  
“S’okay, I was talking as well.”  
  
“Yeah but only cause we were teasing ya.” Rei smiled again, finding he was doing that more and more lately. “And don’t worry about what we said about Kai. He’s a moody shit, but he’s not as bad as some of the bastards round here.”  
  
  
  
Suddenly Rei noticed the strange looking boys, looming behind Kevin, listening to every word that was said. Not high school, thought Rei as they stepped towards them, these guys look just as scary as the guys who used to take me by the feet and put me head first in the trash! Kevin noticed the nervous look on his new friend’s face, and turned to see the two guys behind him. The taller auburn-haired boy grinned weirdly at Kevin, receiving one in return. “What the fuck were you doing? Lurking behind me like that?” The redhead continued to grin.  
  
“Enjoying the view.”  
  
“Perverted bastard.”  
  
  
  
It all happened within a second. The auburn-haired boy lunged at Kevin, pinning his arms up above his head against the wall. It was happening all over again, it wasn’t high school anymore, but it sure felt like it. Rei looked about him, Max, the smaller boy, around his height, the people passing by, all doing nothing to stop it. He watched the passers-by sneer nastily at the two, and he frowned slightly. Doesn’t anybody care?  
  
  
  
“You’re lucky the halls are so packed today Kev, or else I might have to retaliate to that remark.” Kevin grinned.  
  
“I bet that’s how you get-off isn’t it,” he muttered to the taller boy, “in front of all these people.” The boy smiled.  
  
“Hey, Tala!” The auburn-haired boy turned slightly to look at the group of boys passing by. “What’re you doing, hitting on your boyfriend in public, fags don’t come out of hibernation ‘til spring!” Tala sneered at them, and as if deliberately to piss them off, captured Kevin’s chin with his fingertips, crashing his lips against his. Rei’s eyes widened, well, bullying sure changed since my day, he thought. He looked about and the boys had walked off in disgust, surely they’d smack him across the campus for that, thought the raven-haired boy, as Max and Tala’s friend were dying trying to hold back laughter.  
  
  
  
Kevin pushed Tala off him, looking at him with a look that promised death.  
  
“Wanker!” he shouted at him, “I told you, don’t embarrass me like that!” Tala grinned.  
  
“Merely showing my affection,” said the boy simply.  
  
“Well show it when it doesn’t benefit your buddies over there okay?”  
  
“Come on,” replied Tala, “you like people to know their place, and you like it even more to let them know you’re mine…” Rei’s eyes widened again, oh, my holy fuck they’re gay, he thought.  
  
  
  
“I accept your apology,” Kevin said, not meeting Tala’s dark eyes.  
  
“But I didn’t apologize-”  
  
“Count your fucking blessings and shut up,” Tala cast a sideways glance at his friend, smiling before looking back to Kevin’s lilac eyes. “But if you do that again, you’d do better to fall in love with your right-hand, instead of me.” Again that cocky grin crossed the taller boy’s face.  
  
“But, then who’d keep you warm on those long, lonely nights.” Kevin looked up at him, determined not to smile.  
  
“I don’t know, Rei might be up for it,” Tala looked round, as if only just noticing Rei for the first time, and smiled at him.  
  
“Hey, Tala Ivanov,” he said, Rei looked down, shaking his hand.  
  
“Rei Kon.”  
  
“Short and sweet, I like it,” said the taller boy with a smile. As he released him the other boy approached, with hair that almost matched Rei’s in length except his was a little shorter, and pale green in colour, hanging loosely about him, whereas Rei’s was always up in it’s binding.  
  
  
  
“Nice ta’ meet ya Rei,” he smiled slightly, “It’s Zeo.” Rei smiled in return.  
  
“Nice to meet you too, like the hair,” Zeo smirked.  
  
“I guess it was fate. You were doomed to be landed with us poofs ever since you let your hair grow out.”  
  
“Don’t you dare add him to your list of used items, Zeo,” warned Max with a hyper grin, he’s our new buddy, nothing more.”  
  
“You worry too much Max.” Rei blushed at the playful smile sent his way by the long-haired boy.  
  
“Yeah, well, keep Rei out of your little collection.”  
  
“You make me sound like a slut Maxie.” Max smiled goofily at him.”But we love ya for it Zeo!”  
  
“Naturally. And what do you mean by little collection, I think it’s quite large.”  
  
“Yeah, Eighteen years old and you’ve exhausted everyone our age with a dick, bent or straight.”  
  
“And if that was funny, don’t ya think I’d laugh? I’m just affectionate.”  
  
“Affectionate my foot,” said Kevin, rolling his eyes.  
  
  
  
The conversation kept to the same basic lines all the way to Zeo’s dorm, Rei learnt that most of them had grown up together, Tala and Zeo brought closer to Kevin and Max when Tala and Kevin’s peculiar relationship began at the end of last year. “Oh, by the way Rei,” said Zeo as he grabbed hold of the door handle, “I’ll warn you in advance about my roomie.” Rei raised an eyebrow. “He’s a great guy, he’s just…”  
  
“A little weird?” suggested Rei.  
  
“A little stoned.”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“Well, a lot stoned – a lot of the time,” Rei smiled, as Zeo turned the handle and they all piled inside the door.  
  
  
  
“TYSON GRANGER! GET YOUR SHIT OFF MY BED!” Rei leapt out of his skin as Zeo’s laid-back attitude evaporated into thin air, slamming the door behind them as they stepped in after him.  
  
“Chill it ‘Z’; don’t get your leopard-print panties in a twist.”  
  
“Don’t call me ‘Z’ you bastard! And you’re the only one around here that wears panties; you know how I can tell?” Tyson shrugged. “Because your damn underwear is spread out all over the fucking floor!” Rei looked to Max, Kevin and Tala who were standing beside him, seeing Max wear the same goofy smile on his face.  
  
“Rei, this is Tyson, Tyson, this is Rei.”  
  
“Hi.”  
  
“Hey Rei.”  
  
“Ty, Rei’s our new pal!” squeaked Max as he leapt onto the bed beside Tyson.  
  
“Max, watch what you’re doing!” yelled Tyson, as the hyper blond messed up the drugs Tyson had arranged on a tray on Zeo’s bed. The bluenette turned to look at the sulky look on the blonde’s face. “Don’t pout at me.”  
  
“You care more about your stupid drugs than you do about me…” Rei watched as the others rolled their eyes setting themselves down anywhere where Tyson’s underwear wasn’t lying, nowhere near brave enough to touch them to make space.  
  
  
  
“Don’t be stupid Maxie, I’m sorry.”  
  
“You’re forgiven,” said Max snootily, looking fixedly away from him. Zeo kicked Tyson’s underwear off the couch beside him, and gesturing for Rei to come sit next to him, as Tyson pulled his arms round Max, trying to kiss him. “Ewww, get off me, you’re wrecked!” giggled Max, pulling away from the bluenette.  
  
“And on that note,” said Zeo, rolling his eyes, as the blond tried to keep the slightly high boy off him.  
  
“I guess you’re expecting an explanation, huh, Rei?” asked Tala. Rei smiled awkwardly as they all looked at him, as if only just realising he were still there.  
  
“For what?” asked Rei, starting to blush, wishing they’d look at anything but him, they were starting to make him feel like an animal at a zoo.  
  
“For the lot of us.” The raven-haired boy smiled again as Tala spoke.  
  
  
  
“You see the most of us, Zeo not included, are kinda seeing each other,” explained Max, as Zeo leant back into the couch.  
  
“Damn right not including me,” Zeo mumbled, closing his eyes as he folded his arms behind his head. “I love you guys, but I think it’d kill me to sleep with any of ya…I mean Max, I can barely sleep in the same room as that bastard Tyson, beats me how you can sleep with the layabout.”  
  
“Hey!” squealed Tyson, a little out of tune.  
  
“Merely stating the truth…”  
  
  
  
“So, it’s Max with Tyson, Tala with Kevin, and Zeo a….” Rei trailed off.  
  
“You might call me a free-lance dater,” finished Zeo.  
  
“A free-lance faggot-whore you mean…” mumbled Tyson. Zeo opened one eye, looking dangerously at the bluenette, but said nothing.  
  
“I get that but…well, where I come from, I think if a guy kissed another guy in the halls like that, they’d end up head first down the school toilets.” Tala’s mouth twitched into a cocky grin; as he pulled his arm round Kevin, crushing him into his chest.  
  
“And that’s where my wonderful reputation as a renowned thug comes in handy.”  
  
“Huh? You mean these guys at the college are scared of you?” Tala smiled, as if he were proud of it.  
  
“Lets just say they’d sooner flush themselves down the toilet than try it with me…no one tells me what to think or do, and no one makes the people I care about feel bad for being who they are.” Max giggled.  
  
“Tala’s like the leader of the gay mafia or something.”  
  
  
  
Kevin pulled away from his boyfriend and looked at Rei.  
  
“You see Tala has an overprotective complex, that makes him think that we all need protecting all the damn time,” he cast a sideways glance at the red-head.  
  
“What? You’re the one that’s afraid to come out of their closet!”  
  
“I’m out of the damn closet Tala! I’m so out of the closet I went round, bought a couple of shirts, and walked into somebody else’s closet to hang them up!” Rei looked slightly taken aback at the argument, but the looks that Tyson, Max and Zeo were giving each other made him realise this must be a regular event. “I just don’t like being expected to show my affections in public, like I have to prove it to everybody else who I love. Even when I was straight I never made out with my girl-friend in the middle of the damn hall!” Max walked over to the green-haired boy, patting his head with a goofy grin.  
  
“Hehe, okay Kev, you were never straight…” Kevin’s scowl turned into a slight smile, and he rolled his eyes at the hyper blond.  
  
  
  
Rei leant over to Zeo and whispered something to him.  
  
“So, Kevin and Tala, that argument is a usual?” Zeo nodded.  
  
“Tala is a very out person, and Kev is – well, he’s not withdrawn, but he likes to keep his life to himself. Sometimes, I think he feels like Tala is just using him to prove a point to other people, that he can do what he wants.”  
  
“And is he?” asked Rei quietly. Zeo smiled.  
  
“When I first met Kevin I thought that Tala would sooner beat him up than date him, but one night I go over to Tala’s and what do I find in his room but the two at it like – well, you get the picture. I don’t know how the hell it came about, but those two love each other more than you’ll ever find another couple.”  
  
“But how did you meet him? Kevin, he’s from china, like me, he was on the same flight over when-”  
  
“-Students exchange system thing. In high school, Kevin was a bit of a bastard, and so was Tala. So their folks signed them up for this exchange. Kev came here to stay with Tala for two weeks, and Tala went with him to stay for two weeks. I guess they must have kept in touch…when we came here, the first thing we did was look up Kev. And Max was thrilled too of course, I mean him and Tyson practically made him one of their own during the exchange. I suppose if it wasn’t for Tala and Kev’s temper tantrums we’d never have all got to know each other.” Rei nodded, with a smile, looking at the boys around him.  
  
“You can miss meeting someone by a minute,” he said with a smile to Zeo, “That’s what makes love such an amazing miracle…”  
  
  
  
“So Rei, who’re you bunking with?” asked Tala, ignoring the fact that Kev was loosing a pillow fight to Max, and was now buried somewhere under a large mound of blankets and feathers, Max perched on top.  
  
“Huh?” asked Rei. Max smiled cheerfully, trying to stay stable as the mound he was sitting on kept struggling, Kevin coming back for revenge, or at least trying to.  
  
“His roomie is Kai!” squealed the blond and Tala let out a low whistle.  
  
“Suicide mission…” muttered Tala, and Rei shifted uncomfortably, “Surprised you lived to see lunch hour actually.”  
  
“He isn’t all that tough!” interrupted Rei in his own defence. “He’s just a cold bastard is all, I mean he doesn’t have to be my bestest friend of all my friends but still, he could have at least been polite! We do have to put up with each other for the next two years!”  
  
  
  
Tala clicked his tongue loudly.  
  
“First of all, Kai doesn’t have to put up with you, if he wants, he’ll do anything he can to get you out, and if that doesn’t work he’ll just pay to get rid of you…”  
  
“You mean he’s minted?” asked Rei, and Tala nodded.  
  
“He’s the last one out of a very well known, well off family in Russia. Second, if he hates you enough, he’ll deck you and hang you out the window with your underpants pulled over your head, and third…he has his reasons for being a bastard…”  
  
  
  
“Sounds like you know him really well,” said Rei. Tala shrugged.  
  
“He used to hang with me in high school a little, before he was called back home in senior year, guess he came back here to go to college though, probably missed us,” he said the last part with a smile and a sarcastic voice, making Rei look at him in confusion.  
  
“So why did he say all that stuff about gays, and hating them, and mean stuff about Max?” Tala looked to Zeo and then to Rei once more.  
  
“It isn’t my place to tell you what he’s about, I mean, he’s a bastard, but he was my best friend back in high school, and he went through things that…he doesn’t hang out with us anymore because of his work I guess, he practices-practices-practices. When you’ve got a dream, and a family behind you that are totally against you doing anything but what you want, it makes you work twice as hard to pull away, and achieve that dream.”  
  
  
  
Rei looked at Tala, who looked as if he knew a lot more than what he was telling, but he respected him for not giving away his friend’s secrets, even though he was a bastard.  
  
“But I don’t understand how you can be friend with someone who-”  
  
“-Just keep trying with him, he’s pretty closed off, but once you get to know him, he’s really not as bad as everyone makes out…”  
  
“Huh,” grumpled Kevin from under the blankets. “He’s a Fwuffing-Fmpluff-Mpluff-Dfwfasa!” Tala frowned slightly at the sense he wasn’t making.  
  
  
  
Suddenly Max was thrown across to the other bed, where he landed on Tyson, as Kevin shot up from under the pile of mess, spitting feathers out of his mouth, flattening his hair determinedly. “Don’t talk with your mouth full babe, I don’t want to think I’m bedding a slob.” Kevin scowled at his boyfriend.  
  
“So!” said Tyson loudly, getting to his feet after untangling himself from Max. “Have you asked Rei if he wants to come with tonight?” Max looked to the raven-haired boy.  
  
“What’d ya think Rei, ya wanna come with us tonight?” Rei shrugged.  
  
“Yeah, okay.”  
  
“Great, well we’ve got no more classes this afternoon so…” the rest of Zeo’s words trailed off in Rei’s mind as he plunged deep into thought. So I guess according to Zeo and Tala, Kai isn’t all that he seems…but wait a second! What the hell did I just agree to do tonight…?!  
  
  
  
  
  
TBC


	3. Pain Thy Name Is Hiwatari

Pain Thy Name Is Hiwatari  
~Three~  
  
  
  
  
Rei had absolutely no idea what he’d let himself in for when he’d agreed to something before knowing what it actually was. I’ve just agreed to some unknown, after-school activity with a gang of gay guys, he thought, running a comb determinedly through his raven locks, trying to make one stubborn hair lay flat. This could end badly…  
  
Looking into the mirror he noticed that Kai, who had been lying on his bed, listening to some depressing artist Rei had never heard before, was still watching him. For a homophobe, he sure does like a good stare, Rei thought, looking back at him through the mirror. I wonder if what Tala and Zeo said was true, thoughts continued to storm inside the boy’s head, without realising he’d started to stare back. I wonder how a guy whose two best friends were gay can go on to be such a – He watched as the pewter-haired boy sneered, turning away to change the track of the CD – Jackass…  
  
“If you’re not a fag you should be.” Rei turned to see the older boy staring at him once again.  
“What?” asked Rei, confused at the unprovoked but still nasty comment.  
“You spend more time in front of the damn mirror and fixing your hair than any girl, I’m sure…” Rei sneered, clenching his fists.  
“For someone who’s not gay you sure act it.” Rei could tell he’d struck a nerve by the look on his face.  
“Shut up…”  
“You’re always on my case, why the hell do you hate me so much?” The boy shrugged.  
“I’ve got no time for gay pricks like you.”  
“Is that why you don’t talk to Tala and Zeo anymore? 'Cause they’re gay?” Kai sneered.  
“Shut your mouth…” he said dangerously.  
“That’s it isn’t it? How shallow can you be? Tala was your best friend and you just-”  
“-Shut up!” he started, leaping to his feet. “DON’T talk about things you don’t understand!”  
“It hurts to hear the truth, eh?”  
“You fucking fag! Shut up, SHUT UP!” Rei jumped when the objects on Kai’s chest of drawers were scattered and smashed on collision with the floor, as Kai slung the drawers against the wall, breaking the structure into pieces.  
  
A long silence remained between the two as Kai regained his breath and Rei watched him warily, in case he lunged for him again. “You…” growled the boy through his teeth, seething with hatred. “You, have no idea what you’re talking about…”  
“Then why did you abandon Tala and-”  
“-Listed, you’re new here, so maybe you don’t understand. Let me make it clear to you…” The older boy bit onto his lower lip, holding the other’s gaze. “Just because you’ve decided to be part of that ‘homo-gang-bang’ that Tala is bodyguard for, doesn’t mean you have any right to question things that happened long before you dragged your ass over here from wherever you come from.”  
  
Rei watched him, not saying a word. “Just because things were all ‘sunshine and daisies’ back in ‘fragmented fairy-land’ or wherever the hell you came from, doesn’t mean my life is that PERFECT!” Rei jumped as the boy seized him by the throat, smacking his head against the wall. “And the next time you pry around in my past,” he said dangerously, “you’ll end up like that chest of drawers.”  
  
The boy released him, bending down to pick up the broken objects, and Rei looked at the shattered wood, gulping. Fuck, maybe I did go too far this time…He watched the boy’s expression as he picked up a shattered picture frame, which must have been in the drawer because Rei couldn’t remember seeing it before. Now he realised, Kai didn’t have anything personal in their dorm. No photos, figures, diaries, memento’s or anything, it seemed, just one picture, though the glass was too cracked to see what or who the picture was of.  
  
The boy’s expression looked saddened slightly. He put the picture on the end of the bed as he went to clear everything else off the floor. You broke it, Jackass; I wasn’t the one who decided to play ‘WWE - Extreme’ with the furniture… He looked once more at the wood, and I am so not paying for that. Realising it might be a little his fault, Rei leant down, picking up some of the large bits of glass.  
  
“Leave it, I can do it,” muttered Kai.  
“I know you can, but I want to help.” Kai sneered, but didn’t protest as Rei picked up the glass. “If we keep the shards, we could try and fix it.” He watched Kai look at him strangely for a moment, before that same sneer crossed his features.  
“It’s just a piece of crap, I can get another frame.” Rei sighed, looking at the glass for a minute.  
“But you want this one, am I right?” The slate-haired boy didn’t answer.  
  
  
***  
  
  
It was all he could do to stop his head exploding as he walked across the dark courtyard to where Tala and the others had told him to meet them. My heads gonna explode, Jackass, why’s he gotta be so damn hard to figure out? Rei sighed as he propped himself against the building of Max’s dorm. He’s such a moody bastard, and then all of a sudden he’s… “I don’t know, why’d I have to get stuck with a mentally unstable homophobe as a roommate?” he asked himself aloud.  
  
“Maybe you just have all the luck.” Rei turned to see the familiar auburn-haired boy coming out of the building, shortly followed by the others.  
“Heh, yeah, luck, whatever that means…” Kevin smiled at him as he walked towards him.  
“Kai had a little something to say to me,” said Tala with a curious look at Rei, “He told me to keep you out of his business.” Rei sneered.  
“I’ll be just as happy to forget him as soon as he stops saying I’m fucking gay!”  
“Yeah, well, enough about that bastard, his little denial-fest isn’t gonna ruin my night,” said Kevin, and he noticed the dirty look on his boyfriend’s face, and narrowed his eyes. “Filthy bastard…”  
“What makes you think I was thinking anything dirty?” the auburn-haired boy insisted in an innocent voice.  
“Feh, when are you not thinking something dirty?”  
“Oh Kev, you know me so well.”  
“Anyway, are we gonna get-a-moving or do you want to wait here in the shadows for Mr Hiwatari to come and axe-murder us?” Zeo rolled his eyes.  
“Are you saying Kai’s gonna go psycho on us?” he asked. Tyson snorted.  
“I wouldn’t put it past the bastard.”  
“Ignore Ty, Rei, he’s still sore that Kai used to – well beat him up a lot in High-school,” explained Max, and Rei smiled at the dopey expression on Tyson’s face.  
“Yeah, holding a grudge against someone who used to spend his lunch hour pulling my underpants up over my head and hanging me up in the boy’s locker room for fun, I’m real petty like that.” Max chuckled.  
"He never did that."  
"Well he threatened to!" Max watched him, and Tyson sighed.  
"Well...I may have overelaborated on that but he's still a wanker."  
  
“Stop being a butt-hole Ty,” said Max with a goofy grin.  
“I don’t care, that guy just needs a real sorting out,” he said, making punching moves in the air. Zeo rolled his eyes again.  
“Can we go already?” asked Kevin, trying to push his boyfriend off him as he pulled his arm round his shoulders.  
  
It started off normal, they walked in a line down the pavement, making any pedestrians have to move out of their way or risk being smooshed by them, but things got much weirder, oh so much weirder…  
  
Suddenly Rei realised his new friends had walked him right into a turning that somehow looked suspicious. A straight road, no streetlamps or turnings in sight, tall bushes either side of the road. What the fuck?  
“Umm…Kev?” asked Rei nervously. Kevin turned and noticed the look on the boy’s face, and smirked.  
“Don’t look so terrified, what d’ya think we’re gonna do, ‘gang rape’ ya?” Rei smiled, silly, scratching the back of his neck.  
“Nah, don’t be silly,” he said, well, yeah, he guessed it in one…  
  
He watched Tala hurdle the bushes on the left side, disappearing from sight, however the random curse words under his breath assured them he was still there. A smile spread across all their faces as they heard:  
“Fucking…shitty…nettles…dirt…leave s…Aha!” Rei nearly leapt out of his skin as something came flying out from the bushes, landing near enough where Zeo had been standing before leaping out of the way. Regaining his breath, Rei saw that it was a smashed up bike. He looked at Tala and the others in confusion as he hopped back over the bushes.  
“K, now we hide, and wait for traffic,” he said with an evil smile.  
“Eh, traffic?”  
“Zeo should fill you in, this is something we do when we’re bored,” said Kevin leaping over and behind the bushes where his lover had come from, quickly followed by Tala and Tyson.  
  
Rei looked about as Max and Zeo did the same but at the opposite side of the road, leaving him standing in the middle of the road, all alone with the trashed up bike. What the hell is going on?  
“Psst!” Rei looked to where Max and Zeo were hiding, seeing a tiny bush of blond hair poking out from behind the leaves as headlights shone down the road.  
“Rei you twazzok, get over here now!” Rei did as he was told, hurdling the bushes and crashing down on his back next to the other two. He watched Max try to stifle a giggle. As the raven-haired boy turned to kneel up like the others, he looked to Zeo.  
“What the hell is going on?” the green-haired boy grinned.  
“Tyson thought up this game when he was stoned.”  
“Game?”  
“Yeah,” said Max quietly as the car drew nearer the bike. Rei heard Kevin giggle across from them.  
“Strategically placed,” he muttered in a humorous voice.  
“Watch and learn my friend,” said Max. Rei raised an eyebrow. “What the hell is going on?”  
  
Suddenly the oncoming car slowed, stopping a few metres from the bike, and Rei noticed the look on Max and Zeo’s faces, guessing things were going according to plan. The driver’s door opened and a man stepped out. Even through the dimness, the boys could see the way he looked about him, before allowing his gaze to fall on the bike.  
“Hello?” called the man, sounding annoyed. Max bit into his lower lip to stop himself giggling as he heard Tyson’s terrible impression of some form of animal. Rei heard someone move in the bushes opposite, and sure enough they heard Tala’s voice.  
“Fucked innit?” came Tala’s all of a sudden very ‘nasal’ voice.  
“Is anybody there?” the man called, sounding like a medium at a séance.  
“What a wanker!” imitated Zeo in the nasally voice. Max rolled over in the dirt, dying from silent laughter.  
  
They heard the man curse as Tyson and Kevin’s voices chimed in with the same words, before he got back into his car. There were some pitiable attempts to get round the bike. The man drove up, attempting to go round it, getting his wheels stuck on the grass verge, determined to get past – However he gave up this route, when his wheels spun uselessly round, making mud splatter over the windscreen.  
  
The boys nearly died trying to keep laughter back as the man reversed off the verge, getting out once more, only this time to clear the mud off the windscreen. “Fucked innit?” came Max’s voice, only much more humorous when it was him, sounding as if he was on helium.  
“Fucking psychos!” shouted the man, before storming forwards, slinging to bike into the bushes.  
“Fuck, incoming!” Hissed Zeo, flying backwards, dragging the other two with him, the bike narrowly missing him, Rei and Max. The car shot tore up the road, and when the headlights and any sound of a car engine had faded, Tala, Kevin and Tyson stood up in the bushes opposite.  
“And that’s how you play the game, Rei,” said Tyson.  
“You guys are weird,' laughed Rei. Suddenly more headlights appeared, and the boys dropped to the ground behind the bushes. Tala’s wonderful words of:  
“Shit!” were heard, and he threw the bike back out into the middle of the road, before ducking back down.  
  
  
***  
  
  
The boys walked into the café about half-an-hour later, muddy patches on their knees, and a bruise on Tala’s head where another driver had thrown the bike into the bushes and it nicked his head.  
“It’s a good thing you’re head’s made of rubber,” joked Kevin, making Tala glare slightly, stealing a kiss on the cheek, making the lilac-eyed boy blush.  
“You guys do this regular?” asked Rei with a laugh, it was funny he admitted, but he couldn’t help but find it odd that they’d done it more than once. Zeo grinned as they sat down at a table, Tyson and Tala grabbing a few idle chairs from another table so they could sit.  
“Nah, it was Tyson’s turn to choose the activity tonight, so he wanted to do it again. We’ve done it twice in total, but unlucky for Ty, the bike’s been thoroughly trashed now, he’ll have to come up with something better next time,” said Zeo. Tyson shrugged as he pulled his arm round the still hyper blond. Rei nodded with a smile – the last driver had driven straight over the damn thing!  
  
The waitress took their order, leaving the boys to bask in their exhaustion and boredom.  
“Why don’t we go see a movie tomorrow night?” asked Kevin, who had his head propped up on his hands, as if it’d fall over without him holding it, Tala slumped back in his chair, Zeo leaning back on his chair and Max and Tyson resting on each other.  
“Whatever, Tala, go check the entertainment board and see what’s on.” Tala nodded at Zeo and walked over to the board that was on the wall behind their table. He frowned.  
“No go with the movies. Mostly chick-flicks and re-runs of Pirates of the Caribbean.” Zeo gave a dirty smile.  
“Anything wrong with that?” he asked leisurely, folding his arms back behind his head. “Johnny Depp all sweaty and hunky like that,” he licked his lips and gave out a low whistle, “wouldn’t mind giving him the old once over.”  
“Twice over, even?” suggested Kevin with a dirty look.  
“Johnny Depp is overrated; Orlando Bloom is so much more-”  
“-girly?” finished Tala, cutting Max off with a smile.  
“What can I say I like pretty guys.”  
“Johnny Depp is pretty,” argued Kevin. Max smiled innocently.  
“He has his good-points I suppose.”  
“Max you’re the feminine one, you’re supposed to like masculine guys – then again you do sleep with Tyson so-”  
“-Go poke yourself Kev. Kev stuck his tongue out, and Rei smiled at them.  
  
“So Rei, who out of you and Kai is the dominant one?” Rei flushed.  
“He tried to kill me Kev!”  
“What, so he’s a rough lover, so what? Remember your safety word and you'll be fine.”  
“Kev!”  
“Sorry, had to bully ya,” he winked and Rei smiled, returning to his normal complexion. Zeo smiled at him, and looked to Tala.  
“Well then see if there’s anything new opening or anything then.” Tala shrugged and read the board again.  
“Lesbian pride,” he read, and they all grinned stupidly. “Umm…Knitting lessons,” Kevin snorted.  
“I can already do it…” The group looked at him, even his boyfriend looked surprised. “What? I was bored and it was raining, my great aunt Muriel was staying over…”  
  
“And on that note,” said Tala, continuing to read off the board. “Poetry club…There’s some performance on in the Ice Stadium…A new bar has opened where the ice-cream place used to be…Oh, and he drama kids are staging an all-boy cast production of Chicago...” Kevin noted Rei’s expression when Tala mentioned one of the events, as did Zeo, though they weren’t sure which one he was relating to.  
“What’s up Rei?” asked Kevin. Rei looked at him. “You look interested in something.” Rei shook his head and smiled.  
“No, just, remembering something, one of those events reminded me of – something is all…”  
“Which one?” Rei looked slightly saddened all of a sudden, and it bugged his new friends to see it.  
  
“Just…when I was a kid, my Dad used to take me to the Ice Stadium, back where we used to live, he used to take me to get lessons. And every year on my birthday he’d take me back there, so I could see the professionals perform, it was amazing, you know, something special I could share with my Dad…” Zeo smiled softly.  
“You liked the Figure skaters?” Rei nodded.  
“I wanted to be one, when I was younger,” he said, slightly embarrassed about his past ambition. “It was stupid I know, but-”  
“-Don’t be stupid, it’s a cool thing to want to do, I mean when I when I was a kid I wanted to be a fireman.” Rei smiled at Kevin’s dirty smile when he said this.  
“But, my dad always said I could be…he took me to the lessons and everything but…when I was eleven, he passed away and…I guess so did any of my ambitions to do that kind of thing…” They all looked at their new friend with compassion.  
“That’s…so sad…” said Zeo quietly. Rei shrugged slightly.  
“It’s okay, it happened a long time ago, and I guess, we all have to grow out of our dreams some time, right?” the others said nothing, still thinking it was quite sad.  
  
  
***  
  
  
They had decided that tomorrow would be a video fest over at Zeo and Tala’s before they decided to call it a night. Rei smiled happily as he said his goodbyes for the night, and sighed as he started to head back to his dorm, where who knows what awaited him, or how foul a mood Kai would be in.  
  
“Rei?” The raven-haired boy spun round when he heard his name, and was face to face with Kevin.  
“Hey, what’s wrong?”  
“Nothing, I just – wanted to see if you were okay, I know you act fine but it’s a pretty depressing thing to-”  
“-Honestly, I’m good. I mean I was in a bad place back then, a really, dark place but, now that’s behind me. It’s just, I guess when it gets close to my birthday I always get emotional because I always remember how if he were alive we’d be going to the shows and stuff. And sometimes I think that…I don’t know…”  
“What?” asked Kevin. Rei shrugged.  
“I guess I feel like when I stopped skating, maybe, I let him down…he always tried so hard to help me succeed, and I just gave it up.”  
“Well why did you?” he asked.  
“Well I just couldn’t do it anymore. It was scary practicing, but my dad was always there, and his presence made me want to succeed. The special moments where he’d take me to those shows is what inspired me to do it…and when he died…I felt like I couldn’t because he wasn’t there anymore. That experience was something we shared together - without him, I didn’t feel right about doing it anymore…if I still did it, it wouldn’t be our special memory anymore…”  
  
Kevin looked up at him, considerably shorter than the raven-haired teen, and smiled cheerfully, blinking back tears.  
“For your birthday, we’ll take you to that show thing, and you can watch them again, those performers, just like when your father took you.” Rei smiled at him.  
“It’s a nice offer, but you won’t be able to get tickets on such short notice anyways.” Kevin frowned slightly.  
“Why, when’s your birthday then?” Rei scratched the back of his neck in awkwardness.  
“Tomorrow.” Kevin’s lilac eyes widened.  
“Well I’ll have to get busy then.” With that the green-haired boy turned and started to walk away. Rei was confused.  
“Wait, Kev what the hell are you up to?”  
“Not to worry, Rei. See ya in class tomorrow. Night.” The boy disappeared into his building, and Rei sighed, turning back to his own.  
  
Upon entering the bedroom, he found Kai sitting on the bed, reading quietly, the same rhythmic music playing quietly from the stereo. Rei smiled at the boy as he looked up from his book, receiving a sneer in return before he continued reading. How did I know it, why did I even smile in the first place? I hate the bastard.  
  
Rei crossed the room and started to change out of his dirty clothes. He noticed Kai peer over at him from behind the book, and Rei knew it was because of the mud on his knees and back.  
“Max Tate finally got you on your back then?” asked the slate-haired boy. Rei took the hit, and ignored him, knowing full well he was just saying it to provoke him.  
“I fell over in the bushes…”  
“The bushes?” asked Kai sarcastically, “a bit of an obscene place to do it isn’t it?” Rei rolled his eyes, it was just pathetic now. He’d done nothing and yet the guy had started the moment he’d walked in the door.  
  
“I got some wood-glue, to fix the chest of drawers,” said Rei casually as he crossed the room again to his closet. Kai said nothing. “We don’t have classes until late tomorrow, so I’ll help you fix it if you want.” Kai looked up at him from the book again.  
“You will, will you?” Rei turned to face him, pulling his shirt off, getting undressed for bed.  
“Well do you want to do it all by yourself?” Kai watched him with a sneer, and then shrugged.  
“Whatever you want.” As he went back to his book Rei stuck his tongue out, rolling his eyes at his roommate’s bad mood.  
  
Thinking about what Kevin was scheming, Rei frowned slightly. I don’t want him to go to all that trouble for me, he thought as he pulled on his pyjama bottoms, leaving his top half uncovered. Although I suppose it would be nice to see the finals as well, that’s literally the best of the best. He sighed as he laid back in his bed, deep in thought. He didn’t know why he hadn’t told Kevin and the others about his birthday being tomorrow, he just didn’t feel that he was special enough to them yet, but, he guessed, that by the way they reacted at the story about his dad, that they were closer than he’d realised.  
  
“Doing anything for your birthday tomorrow?” asked Kai casually, as if he didn’t really care, (and he probably didn’t). Rei was snapped out of his thoughts as he looked in confusion at his roommate.  
“What? How did you know it was tomorrow?” Kai looked at him as if he were stupid.  
“It’s your calendar on the wall, dummy.” Rei nodded in realisation, and though not realising why he was being so nice all of a sudden replied.  
“Kevin’s scheming something, and failing that we were going to just hang out I s’pose…” Kai nodded, and continued reading.  
  
Rei watched him, and then remembered his manners. “Did you…I mean, do you want to come with us?” Kai looked at him a moment, and then looked back to the book.  
“I don’t fit in your crowd,” he said, Rei realised it wasn’t meant to be a rude comment (for once), but it made him a little angry all the same. ‘Your crowd’, he thought, what the hell does that mean?  
“Tala wouldn’t mind, and neither would Zeo-”  
“Thanks but no thanks, Rei.” Rei’s eyes widened, for one, he’d actually called him by his first name, and two, his voice had been generally sincere when he’d said ‘Thanks’.  
  
Rei sat up upon the realisation.  
“Kai?” he said quietly, and the other boy looked at him, for the first time free of hatred, and for the first time, Rei saw a sadness, or warmth there that he hadn’t before, as if the warmth was just there beyond the cold exterior, waiting for someone to try and reach him. Rei blushed as he realised he’d been staring into those crimson orbs for a good few minutes now, and smiled awkwardly.  
“What?” Kai asked.  
“Just…I’m sorry for being such a git lately…” Kai shrugged. “I want; I mean…can we start over? I don’t want to be living with someone for the next two years who hates me.” Kai snorted as he returned to his book.  
“Fucking idiot,” he mumbled, but without the usual malice that would accompany the remark. “I don’t hate you…” Rei felt strangely enlightened by these words, and smiled as he turned over, pulling the covers up over his shoulders.  
  
To his surprise he heard Kai turn the music off. Usually when Rei tried to sleep Kai would blast music until he felt like going to bed, and Rei had to try and sleep through it. But for some reason the boy had turned it off in consideration for his roommate. Rei smiled slightly once the shock had passed.  
“Goodnight, Kai…” he said softly, closing his eyes. Kai felt a small smile twitch at the sides of his mouth as he heard it.  
“Goodnight, Rei…”  
  
  
TBC


	4. Photograph

Photograph  
~Four~  
  
  
  
  
Ray awoke once again with that blasted sunlight in his eyes. He whimpered in annoyance, sliding out of the warmth of the blankets and pulling the curtains over the window between his and Kai’s bed shut. Damn it I really got to remember to shut them before I go to bed. He sighed looking at the clock. 7:15am, and he didn’t have classes until noon, well that’s just fucking fabulous, he thought grumpily.  
  
He looked down as Kai shifted in his sleep, turning over so that now his face was visible. Rei couldn’t help but allow a small smile when he saw the boy’s appearance. Seeing him without being angry at him was like seeing him in a new light. Without really thinking about what he was doing, reached down, stroking his cheek softly, where the blue triangles would usually be painted. Kai let out a little sigh and shifted again, stirring Rei from the state of awe. The raven-haired boy blushed and started about making his bed quietly.  
  
Rei sighed as he stepped into the shower a few moments later and the warm water hit his body. The madness of last night had left him with a few achy muscles and his sleep hadn’t done any good to relieve it so much as make it worse. As he lathered the body-wash over his skin, he saw something out of the corner of his eye.  
  
The raven-haired boy yelped with surprise as he turned to see Kai entering the bathroom.  
“Kai! What the fuck are you doing?!” he screamed. Kai raised an eyebrow.  
“Don’t be so shy, you big wimp; you’ve got nothing I haven’t seen before.” Rei blushed.  
“Yeah,” he said bashfully, pulling the shower curtain round himself slightly, “but in different proportions…” Kai smiled slightly.  
“Don’t be and idiot, things like that don’t matter,” Rei still flushed dark red.  
“What do you want anyway?” asked Rei.  
“Well, I wanted to pee if that’s okay with you?” Rei nodded, pulling the shower curtain across so he couldn’t be seen before continuing to rinse the soap off his body. This guy’s feelings sure are changeable, he thought as he heard Kai leave the bathroom again.  
  
  
***  
  
  
When Rei came back out of the bathroom again he had to deal with his roommate’s intense gaze as he ensued in the struggle to dry his hair. When he was dried and dressed, he was still watching him, and it was starting to kind of freak him out.  
“Right, well, d’ya want to try and fix this chest of drawers, or-” Kai picked up the bottle of wood glue from the side, looked at it a moment and then at the rubble of wood.  
“I think we need a bigger bottle.” Rei laughed slightly, heading for the door.  
“I’ll get some from the store just off campus, back in five,” he said, closing the door behind him.  
  
Kai sat back on his bed, staring thoughtfully up at the ceiling. Not a few moments had gone by before there was a knock at the door.  
“Come in,” he called. He sat up as he saw Tala step into the room.  
“Hey, Kai.” Kai nodded at him. A strange, heavy tension filled the air between them, it was easy to see that they’d once been friends, both held dark secrets from each other’s past, and yet sadness at the distance between them that showed in their eyes.  
  
“I came by to tell you to not be an ass to Rei, seeing as it’s his birthday today, but-”  
“I haven’t done anything to him,” the slate-haired boy said simply.  
“-But really,” continued Tala, “I came to talk with you.”  
“About what?” asked Kai, sitting up properly as Tala sat on the edge of the bed.  
“Kai, you can’t shut us out of your life forever,” Kai rolled his eyes and got to his feet, “I don’t know why you left so suddenly back then, but I was your best friend and I would have thought you’d have trusted me enough to-”  
“Stop it Tala, just STOP IT!” screamed Kai, making Tala jump slightly, “Don’t make this about you, it wasn’t about you-”  
“-Then tell me, why did you leave without saying goodbye?”  
“I can’t tell you-”  
“-After everything we’ve been through I would have thought you could tell me anything-”  
“-Not this, I’m sorry Tala but I can’t, and I can’t…”  
“Then why are you distancing yourself from us now?”  
“I can’t…I’m in a downward spiral and I won’t bring anyone else with me.”  
“Cut the crap Kai, I know you better than you’d think and I know you’d never have left like that unless there was something you didn’t want Zeo and me to know.” Kai looked at him for a moment, before shaking his head, running his fingers through his hair.  
“I’m sorry, Tala, but…things can’t go back to the way they were,” Tala watched him, almost sadly, “I’m sorry…”  
  
The door opened and Rei walked back in with a carrier bag.  
“Hey Tala,” he said chirpily, “What ya doing here?” Tala smiled at him.  
“Just needed a chat with Kai, but hey, Kev’s got a birthday surprise for you so, see you after class okay?” Rei nodded, and watched the auburn-haired boy close the door behind him.  
  
“Well I got more glue and I umm…got something for you…” Kai looked at him oddly.  
“What?” asked Kai. Rei pulled out something that was in brown packaging paper, and handed it to him. Kai looked at him in disbelief as he took the object. “Where do you get off getting me a present on your birthday?” asked Kai, Rei shrugged.  
“It’s not really a present, it’s more…” he trailed off as Kai pulled the paper off.  
“Rei, I…” He stared at the picture frame in his hand. “This…this is the one that got broken, how did you-”  
“Yesterday, you left it on my bed, and I took it to the repair shop, they fixed the frame and put some new glass in it for you.”  
  
Kai looked from Rei to the frame and then back to Rei again.  
“I…thanks, Rei.” Rei smiled.  
“It’s okay, it was partly my fault so-”  
“No really,” said Kai, sitting on the edge of his bed, taking the picture out of the drawer and sliding it back into the frame, “it might not seem like much but, thanks.” Rei’s suspicions were confirmed when he saw how carefully Kai put the frame back inside the drawer, for some reason, that picture, and that frame were important to him, and Rei still didn’t even know what the picture was of, or why he kept it hidden.  
  
“Okay then, d’ya want to get started on the drawers or-”  
“-Sure,” said Kai, getting to his feet. Rei could tell he was still reeling from the niceness of Rei’s gesture, and Rei couldn’t help but think that he hadn’t had many of those in his lifetime.  
  
As Rei held the drawers still while Kai applied the glue, Rei couldn’t help but watch the older boy in wonder.  
“Kai?” he asked.  
“Yeah.” Rei thought a bit for a moment before speaking, not wanting to get on bad terms with Kai now that they were on their way to becoming friends.  
“Is it okay to ask…what’s the picture of?” Kai looked thoughtful for a moment.  
“Let’s leave this out of the way to dry okay?” Rei nodded, lifting the drawers up and moving them to rest against the wall. I guess he’s isn’t ready to tell me something that personal, can’t say as I blame him…  
  
  
TBC


	5. Birthday Surprise

Birthday Surprise  
~Five~  
  
  
  
  
Rei couldn’t help but smile as he sat on the bus that evening with Kevin, Zeo, Tala, Max and Tyson. Tyson and Max of course aggravating the driver, leaving Tala, Kevin and Rei sitting in the middle of the bus, and Zeo…somehow disappeared.  
“Where’s he gone?” asked Kevin as he surrendered into Tala’s determined embrace. Rei shrugged.  
“We haven’t stopped so he can’t have got off,” said Tala. Rei smiled slightly, the guys had gone out and bought him presents and a cake, some presents were really great, and some (Zeo’s and Tyson’s presents) he’d rather not think about, but either way, he hadn’t wanted them to go to all this trouble over him, he was sure he wasn’t worth it.  
  
He didn’t know how Kevin had done it either, but he’d managed to get tickets to the Figure Skating finals, which though he wished they hadn’t done, he couldn’t help but feel happy about.  
“So, didn’t his dual-toned-ness wanna come with?” asked Kevin with hatred of the boy. Rei smiled slightly.  
“Kai said thanks, but no thanks, I guess he just like his own company.” Tala looked as if he was about to say something, but he kept silent.  
“Anyways,” Max called back from where he and Tyson were at the front, no one else on the bus with them at the moment except one other guy who Rei thought went to their college, but he must have got off earlier as he was gone now. “Kai wouldn’t wanna come to this with us, it’s far too compromising for his manly exterior." Rei smiled, he guessed Max was right. Kai’s just far too uncomfortable with having his sexuality questioned…I wonder why…  
  
The bus pulled to a stop outside the stadium, and Max and Tyson hopped off first. Rei stopped and looked around as Tala and Kevin stood up beside him - where had Zeo got to? Suddenly, Zeo popped up from behind the back seat, looking a little flustered and ruffled up, but wearing a grin on his face as he passed Rei and the others by.  
“Come on then,” he said casually, but Tala and Kevin cocked an eyebrow.  
“Where the hell did you go to?” asked Kevin. Suddenly they heard a thump, and turned to see the boy their age from earlier, emerging the same way as Zeo had moments before. Kevin narrowed his eyes as he looked at Zeo.  
“You perverted bastard…”  
“What?” asked the long-green-haired boy with disbelief. Kevin rolled his eyes and walked past, Tala followed after. Rei smiled at Zeo, before they both pursued their friends off the bus.  
  
Rei was in awe as he followed his friends through the archway to the rink. The stadium was packed. He looked around and saw Tala very bossily making his way to where their seats were, carelessly moving people out of his way, leaving Kevin and Max apologizing for him as they and the others followed after.  
  
The boys settled in their seats just as the lights overhead dimmed, and the multihued lights over the rink shot on. Tala leant over Rei and whispered to Zeo.  
“So, how did you have the nerve to be the one that got laid on Rei’s birthday, huh?” Zeo gave him a dirty smile.  
“Experience.”  
“And too much of it,” said Kevin with a raised eyebrow, but a slight smile. Rei laughed slightly, sitting between Zeo and Tala, Tyson neatly sat between Kevin, (who was next to Tala), and Max who was on the end of the row. Rei noted how Tyson, (who was not stoned for once), linked hands with Max, and Tala had placed his hand on Kevin’s thigh, patting it softly. If it wasn’t obvious to the people around them that they were all gay, then everyone around them was deeply stupid.  
  
Suddenly the lights dimmed, and a voice sounded from a microphone. A Man’s voice spoke in different languages for the people that had gathered in the stadium. Rei recognized his own Chinese, then Russian, German, Japanese, French, Italian and then finally English.  
“Thank you Ladies and Gentleman for gathering here tonight to see our finalists in the Coupled Figure Skating. Please save all applause for the end of each performance, and keep silent through out each one to allow the performers to concentrate, Thank you.”  
  
Suddenly the rink-lights brightened once more, as some very calm music started. A couple clad in white skated onto the rink, beginning a routine that was very smooth running, Rei couldn’t tear his eyes away. As it finished, the audience applauded and the announcer’s voice was heard again. “Thank you, that was Japan’s Jin Sakamoto and Maya Sashimi, song Yuki Kajiura’s Sayonara Solitier.” The room fell silent again as the next performance began.  
  
All through out the performances Rei and the rest of the audience, including his friends, watched in awe, even Tala and Zeo, who were less interested in this kind of thing couldn’t tear their eyes away. The lights dimmed as the final couple skated on.  
  
Suddenly, the music started, the lights shot back on with the music and the performance began. The couple were considerable better than most of the others, clad in black and the way they glided across the ice gave them a grace that very few of the others had. As the song progressed, the music got much more powerful compared to some of the songs the previous performances. Rei couldn’t see exactly what they looked like because they were so far up, but the girl’s face didn’t even seem to show a twinge of fear as he threw her up in their air, she seemed to float back down as he caught her, like she was weightless.  
  
The performance ended and the crowd cheered much loader than ever before, so much so that the announcer was unheard by most. But Rei heard it, and his eyes widened with shock.  
“Russia’s Kym Monou and Kai Hiwatari, to Requiem For a Dream by…” The rest of the words trailed out, now that he looked hard, Rei noticed, as Tala and the others seemed not to - that the boy was Kai. KAI? Thought Rei. No fucking way was that guy Kai, after all that anti-gay, anti-girly, crap he’s a fucking figure skater? No way! The slate-haired boy gasped for air as he and Kym took their bows, he let his crimson eyes scan the stands. He saw there, a little way up, a group of boys who even from here he could make out Kevin and Zeo’s obscenely green hair, along with Tala’s red-hair, Max and Tyson jumping with hyperness in the stands, and to his horror, Rei. There was no mistaking the group for anyone else. Fuck… he thought as he and Kym made their way off the rink.  
  
It pounded in his skull as if it were trying to escape. Kai…Kai? I don’t believe it! He didn’t say anything to his friend’s who still failed to notice Kai, figuring Kai maybe didn’t want them to know, (though not knowing how Tala and Zeo, his two best friends from high school didn’t know). He followed his friends out of the stadium, however when they reached the door Rei realised he’d left his backpack.  
“Meet ya at the bus stop guys, I left my bag,” said Rei, turning about.  
“Want me to go with ya?” asked Kevin, but Rei smiled and shook his head.  
“See ya in a sec.”  
  
The raven-haired boy sprinted back to where his seat was, finding the stands and rink now empty he snatched up his bag, slinging it over his shoulder as he hoped back down, walking into the shadows of the archway. The boy jumped as something launched itself out of the shadows and pinned him against the wall of the archway.  
  
“What the fuck?” choked out Rei, but as he shoved his attacker off him, he smacked into the other wall, where the light cast, and he saw who it was. “Kai what the hell are you doing?” he screamed. Kai sneered as he straightened up.  
“Me, what the hell are you doing - here?” Rei shrugged.  
“Kevin and the guys brought me here for my birthday.”  
“Why?” he asked, sounding thoroughly pissed off; though Rei couldn’t understand why.  
“My Dad used to take me when I was a kid, on my birthday, when I told Kevin he and the guys got tickets to bring me tonight, like my Dad used to.” Kai said nothing, but Rei could see that he was clearly still fuming.  
  
“Kai?” he asked, but no sooner had he spoke than the taller boy snapped again, crushing him against the wall.  
“Did you stay back to make fun of me? Say I’m a fag like the others do?” Rei listened to the harshness of his voice; it seemed as if he actually wanted Rei to say those things. Rei smiled slightly, and it seemed to enrage him even more.”No…I wouldn’t say those things, I…I thought you were amazing…” They both blushed, and slowly Kai released him.  
“You…thought I was that good?” asked Kai quietly, and Rei smiled.  
“I’ve never seen anything like it!”  
“He’s talented for sure.” Rei turned to see a red-haired man standing with Kai’s skates over his shoulder. “But sometimes his confidence aggravates the people around him.” Kai scowled slightly. “But since he hasn’t hit you yet he must be fond of you, Kai are you going to introduce us?” Kai shrugged.  
  
“Rei, this is Brooklyn, my Guardian and my trainer. Brooklyn this is Rei Kon, my roommate at college.” Brooklyn smiled warmly, shaking hands with the young Chinese boy.  
“Pleased to meet you.”  
“You too, Sir.”  
“Kai, why don’t you offer your friend a lift home?” Kai shrugged again, looking at Rei as if silently asking the said question.  
“No, really I can’t, my friends are-”  
“-They can come too if they want, you all live around the same area anyway,” insisted Brooklyn.  
  
Even though Rei had insisted about going home on the bus with his friends, Brooklyn had insisted they come with him and Kai, and somehow, they all ended up having to accept the proposal.  
  
It was a quiet ride home. Max and Tyson fell asleep after all that excitement. Tala, Zeo and Kevin distinctly avoided talking to Kai, and for some reason Brooklyn wouldn’t talk at all, he even flushed when he checked the rear-view mirror.  
“Kev?” asked Rei, and the lilac-eyed boy looked to him where he sat squished with Kai at the front. “How did you get the tickets in the end?” Kevin shrugged.  
“Zeo got ‘em, not me.” They all, including Kai looked to Zeo, who smiled mischievously.  
“Zeo?” asked Kevin.  
“You didn’t sleep with someone for them did you?” asked Tala suspiciously. Zeo looked at him with a fake hurtfulness.  
“They were a gift from a friend, okay.”  
“A friend?” said Tala.  
“Yes,” the green-haired boy insisted.  
  
They all piled out of the car when they reached the campus. All saying their thank you’s, Max, Tala, Tyson and Kevin disappeared into the darkness, Zeo leaving with a coquettish grin before following after the others, not wanting Tyson and Max to start making out on his bed.  
“Where do you live then?” Rei asked Brooklyn as he and Kai both stepped out the car.  
“Not far, but not too close either,” he replied, making Rei none the wiser. “Anyway, off to bed Kai, classes tomorrow,” said the red-head, getting back in the car.  
“Yes, Dad,” replied the slate-haired boy sarcastically, as the car reversed and slowly faded from view.  
  
“Kai,” said Rei with a slight giggle.  
“What?” he asked.  
“I umm…think Zeo slept with Brooklyn.” Kai’s eyes widened as he spoke.  
“What makes you think that?”  
“Well I…they couldn’t look at each other on the ride home, and Zeo gave him one of those I’ll see you later looks.” Kai scratched the back of his neck, trying to not think about his ex-friend sleeping with his trainer and guardian.  
“My world is crumbling before my eyes…” mumbled Kai pathetically as he walked on ahead, and Rei couldn’t help but laugh slightly as he followed his roommate through the doors.  
  
  
TBC


	6. A More Serious Note

A More Serious Note  
~Six~  
  
  
  
  
Rei sighed with exhaustion as he stepped inside the room, hearing Kai close the door softly behind them. “Your damn friend slept with Brooklyn?” asked Kai, looking to Rei. He made a sickened face and shivered with disgust. “That’s revolting! Zeo really needs to stop adding people to that never ending list of his.”  
“Yeah well, at least he didn’t try and add me to it,” said Rei with a smile. “I mean I love Zeo, I just don’t…love Zeo.” Kai’s lips curved into a slight smile, making Rei have to struggle not to smile back. What’s wrong with me? All that damn time with Tala and the others is turning me gay! Wait…I was kinda having doubts before but - “Ouch!” He squealed as he turned, hopping in pain over to his bed and doubling over onto it.  
  
“Rei are you alright? Rei?” asked the slate-haired boy. Rei shook his head and sat up, holding his foot.  
“Fine, I just, I think I’ve got something in my foot.” Kai rolled his eyes, advancing on him. “W-what are you gonna do?” he stuttered.  
“I’m going to take a look, don’t tell me your dick isn’t the only thing you’re shy about?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. Rei pouted, edging backwards as Kai moved forwards. “Don’t be a baby-”  
“-I’m NOT a baby-”  
“-I just got to-” Leaping forwards Kai, pushed Rei back down onto the bed, snatching at his ankle so that Rei was forced to lie on his back as Kai looked at his foot. “It’s a fragment of glass, probably from something that was - what are you looking at me like that for?” he asked with impatience, sighing slightly, the raven-haired boy, staring at him with a scowl. “Pouty little bastard,” he muttered with a smile as he looked at him. “Okay, on three. One - Two-” and on the two he yanked the small fragment out of his foot, making Rei wince.  
“You bastard…” he mumbled, “I knew you were gonna do that…” Kai smiled slightly, looking at the damage.  
“You’ll live,” he said, smoothing a band-aid gently over the small cut. Rei quivered at the sensations as Kai’s thumbs brushed feather light over the skin on his foot, not realising that Kai had noticed it. Kai smiled slightly. “Got a bit of a ‘foot fetish’ have we?” Rei scowled, yanking his foot away.  
“No, shut up!” Kai continued the grin as he got off his bed, moving towards the newly fixed chest of drawers to change for bed.  
  
Kai eyed the furniture with a certain pride, he didn’t know whether the pride was because he was able to damage it so much, or because he and Rei had fixed it so well; he decided to go for the last one. As he pulled on his pyjama bottoms and headed for bed, he noticed Rei had already done so.  
  
“Rei?” he asked softly, as he turned off the light a few moments later.  
“Hmm?” asked Rei.  
“Tonight, when you told me I was amazing…”  
“Yeah?” asked the raven-haired boy, turning back over to face him, the boy’s silhouette visible as the moonlight escaped into the room through the window, casting an eerie but beautiful light over the older boy. But he’d fallen silent. “Kai?”  
“Nothing…it’s nothing…”  
  
  
***  
  
  
The following morning was bright and sunny. Rei breathed in deeply as he walked through the halls, he was so far out of it, off in a world entirely his own, that he nearly jumped out of his skin as he felt someone tap him on the shoulder.  
“Kai you fucking bastard!” he muttered as he regained his breath. Kai grinned.  
“Don’t have a spasm on me, I just wanted to ask you something?”  
“Oh,” said Rei, noting the totally new niceness to the tone of his voice that hadn’t been there before. “What is it?”  
“Well, I…I know you like skating, right?” Rei nodded, and Kai took a little breath before continuing. “Well, I just…I’m practicing there tonight, and I wondered if you wanted to come watch, that is…if you’re not busy.” Kai watched as Rei’s face turned from surprise into a smile that to his own surprise, took his breath away, and he blushed slightly.  
  
“Sure, I’d love to,” replied Rei, tucking a stray strand of raven hair back behind his ear in a very feminine way.  
“Great, well, be back home at 6:00 tonight, and you can come with Brooklyn and me, okay?” Rei nodded receiving a smile off of the other boy as he walked away. Why is my heart thudding so fast? And if I wasn’t mistaken, Kai smiled at me, an actual smile! He looked out of the windows onto the sun-drenched courtyard. And if I wasn’t mistaken…or it might just be my stupid girly teenage heart but…it felt like Kai just…asked me out?!  
  
“Rei? Hello, anybody home?” asked a familiar voice. The raven-haired boy snapped out of his thoughts to see Zeo waving his hand in front of his face.  
“Sorry, just spaced out for a second there,” said Rei with a smile. Zeo raised an eyebrow.  
“A weird guy you are Rei.”  
“Me?” he said with a smile as they started walking, “you’re the one who slept with Brooklyn to get those tickets.” Zeo smiled slyly.  
“Hey, let’s not accuse, I slept with him because he’s got an ass to die for and a mouth like a vaccuum.” Rei gave him a funny look.  
“A little too much info there Zeo,” he said.  
“Don’t worry Rei, I’m sure Kai will 'put out' sooner or later,” Rei blushed crimson.  
“What?!”  
“Strike a nerve did I?” he asked with a cheeky grin.  
“Don’t be ridiculous, I don’t have a crush on Kai!”  
“Rei, you look at him as if he’s an oasis in a fucking desert!”  
“How’d you even know if I’m gay dammit?” Zeo looked at him with a raised eyebrow.  
“Rei, if you’re straight, I’m a virgin.” Rei gave him a look that promised death, but the other boy merely smiled.  
  
“Look,” he said, serious now. “There’s no point in denying it…if you deny your feelings, you’re denying who you are. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, I mean, in our tight circle it’s something to be proud of.”  
“Zeo, I-”  
“-Wait, just…some people believe that love is restricted to between couples of the opposite sex…but you can’t help who you fall in love with. Everyone has a soul-mate, someone who they live for, who they’d die for, a perfect fit - no one can tell me, that everyone’s soul-mate is the opposite in gender, the world isn’t as well-rounded as that.”  
“It’s not that, sometimes I think that…I don’t know…doesn’t it stand to reason that love is between man and woman?”  
“How’d you mean?” asked Zeo.  
“I don’t know…for the same reason it was ‘Adam and Eve’ and not ‘Adam and Edward’.” Zeo smiled slightly. “For the same reason a girl and boy can hold hands in the halls and no one bat and eyelid. But when two guys, or two girls do it the world comes to an end.”  
  
Zeo watched the boy for a moment, before gazing out of the windows thoughtfully, as if finding his answer in the dazzling rays of sunlight streaming through into the halls.  
“Have you ever been in love Rei?” Rei stopped beside him then, looking at him with confusion.  
“No, I can’t say as I have…” the green-haired boy still not looking at him.  
“Love defies all laws and reason Rei…it defies all facts…whether it’s right or wrong…it makes people bring forth and end life, and it can send the sanest of people crazy with it. It defies every science and feeling. It makes you feel like you can do anything, like you can touch the skies and defy gravity itself.”  
  
Rei watched him, for a guy so casual about his sexual relationships he seemed to Rei so deep at the moment, like he was a whole different person.  
“Were you ever in love, Zeo?” asked Rei after a long silence. Finally, Zeo turned to face him.  
“Once, but…”  
“What happened…did they-”  
“-He didn’t die if that’s what you’re thinking…he just…”  
“What?” asked Rei softly.  
“It was just a delusion…a lie that he told me over and over again when he said he loved me…”  
“Did he sleep with you then ditch you?” asked Rei timidly. Zeo sighed and shook his head, still looking a little distant.  
“If it were just that I could have forgiven it…but…”  
“Zeo?”  
“Nothing,” ; he said, giving Rei a bright smile, “don’t think of it anymore, it’s in the past.” Rei still looked concerned.  
“Your past can come back to haunt you, Zeo.” The boy shook his head.  
“This past is buried too deep, Rei, so don’t worry.”  
  
“Hey guys!” They turned to see Max and Kevin coming towards them, Max with that usual silly smile as he bounced up to them. “Hey Rei why the long face?” asked Max with a chirpy voice. Rei smiled reassuringly at him.  
“Nothing Max, I’m fine.” Max cocked his head slightly, as if the blond didn’t understand sadness or seriousness at all.  
“Turn that frown upside down!” he giggled, making Kevin roll his eyes.  
“Sorry, Tyson was too stoned to stop Max from getting into the sugar again. Max giggled to that again, fluffing Kevin’s hair up, making the lilac eyed boy scowl at him.  
“Drugs and sugar, what a life of romance you and Tyson lead, Max,” said Rei, and Max smiled again.  
“It’s just a phase, Ty has lots of ‘em, he used to be obsessed with Star Wars action figures,” said Max. Zeo looked at him in disbelief.  
“Max, Tyson is still obsessed with Star Wars action figures.”  
“Moving on from our loved but annoying friend, Rei did you want to come with us to the movies tonight, they’re showing re-runs of all the worst horror movies,” said Kevin.  
“And re-runs of the best romance movies,” added Max. Rei narrowed his eyes.  
“You’re trying to figure out if I’m camp or butch, aren’t you?” asked Rei with suspicion. The two smiled nervously.  
“What makes you think that?” they asked in unison, and Zeo rolled his eyes.  
“Anyways, I’ve got plans for tonight, sorry.”  
“Got a date with Kai?” asked Zeo, and Rei flushed.  
“It’s not a date!” argued Rei, although it might as well be, for how worked up I’m getting over it…  
  
  
  
***  
  
  
Rei noticed how Kai couldn’t look at Brooklyn properly in the car. Maybe, (and most likely), it was the fact that Kai had acknowledged Brooklyn actually having sex, especially someone who he used to be friends with.  
“Something wrong Kai?” asked Brooklyn. Kai scowled at him.  
“Yes, there is, where do you get off butt-fucking Zeo?!” Brooklyn looked at him with a surprised expression, Rei just shocked that Kai would use language like that on someone who was in charge of him.  
“What an elegant way to put it Kai,” smiled Brooklyn, and Kai sneered."It isn’t funny, you pervert! It's gross and obscene! You're like old enough to be his dad!”  
"Kai I'm only fourteen years older than him-"  
"That's not the-"  
“Kai, do I ask you about your sexual encounters?”  
“No…”  
“Do I ask you about your partners?”  
“No…”  
“Do I tell you who to or who not to see?”  
“No, but-”  
“-Then that is all that needs to be said, if your friend doesn’t wish to tell you our business then neither will I.”  
“He isn’t my friend…” mumbled Kai, and Rei watched his sulky look with a smile, finding it absolutely adorable. He’s so cute when he’s sulking…SHUT UP! DON’T THINK THAT! Bad thoughts, Bad thoughts!  
  
Rei couldn’t stop the butterflies doing flips and turns inside his stomach as he sat down in the front row before the rink. He watched Kai glide onto the ice, doing what he supposed you would call warm-up moves, as Brooklyn stood at a distance, seeming to be arguing with someone on his mobile phone. “Hey,” called Kai, and Rei snapped out of his state of awe. “What’s wrong?”  
“Nothing, I was just watching you, is all…” Kai seemed to blush. “Thanks for asking me to come.”  
“Don’t worry about it, I thought it might seem stupid to you but-”  
“-No!” said Rei, “no, it’s not stupid, I’m glad you asked, I’d like to see you practice.”  
  
“May have to wait a little longer to see a full practice,” piped up Brooklyn, coming towards them, Kai leaning on the wall of the rink where Rei and Brooklyn both were. “Kym’s ditched us again I’m afraid.”  
“What?”  
“She just called; she had something more important to deal with apparently.” Kai sneered.  
“That fucking bitch always has something better to do…if she doesn’t want to do this she should tell me, so I can find a damn replacement.”  
“Don’t be so hasty Kai-”  
“Why not?”  
“She’s trained with you for two and a half years, it takes a long time to build that kind of bond, you may not be overly fond with her, but you’re just getting a name for yourself and can’t afford another two years off to train someone to move with your sync, and build chemistry with you.”  
“Feh…”  
“Feh, to you too, just because Kym’s skipping doesn’t mean you can. Get to work.” Kai rolled his eyes before doing as he was told.  
  
“Brooklyn?” asked Rei, and the red-head turned to look at him. “How did you come to be Kai’s guardian, I mean, I know he originates from Russia, and you aren’t from-”  
“Kai was always intended to be well educated, as the last in the Hiwatari family line, he was sent here to go to high school, I became his legal guardian, and was hired to teach as well as look after Kai, well…teach his English anyway…he knew some, but not a lot back then…”  
“I never would have guessed, I mean…he hasn’t even got a slight accent or anything.”  
“He was here for some time, right up until the last year of high school, and then - well he had to return home for a while. He only returned this year to attend college here.”  
“But why?”  
“I don’t know, maybe Kai feels like his home isn’t the safe, loving environment it once was…going there when he…it only made things worse, for everyone…”  
  
“But why does Kai avoid Tala and Zeo, I mean they were best friends in high school, right?” Brooklyn smiled slightly.  
“Kai’s life really that interesting?”  
“No, it’s just…he and Tala and Zeo seem to have this connection, like they were once really close, and Tala and Zeo don’t seem to know why he’s distancing himself from them.” Brooklyn cast a glance over to the slate-haired boy gliding across the ice, with a distant expression.  
“I guess that’s something only Kai knows…”  
  
Rei really couldn’t figure him. Now that he was being friendly, he saw qualities in him he’d not seen before. He was polite (sometimes), he didn’t let him feel left out and kept stopping to talk to him whenever he began to look lost, he performed just as good if not better than half the professionals Rei had seen. He seemed like a good person, and yet he’d abandoned his two best friends, why? There must have been something, he thought, something that would have hurt Zeo and Tala to know, and Kai’s only way of protecting them was to leave them…something to do with something in his family? Something to do with his figure skating career…or something to do with what’s in the picture - or more likely, who’s in the picture…  
  
  
The raven-haired boy was dragged out of his pensive state as something was dropped at his feet, and he looked up to find Kai standing before him, holding out his hand.  
“What?” asked Rei.  
“Come on the ice with me.”  
“What?” he asked, flushing. How can he ask me that?! Oh, he hates gays but he’s only too quick to hold my damn hand and watch me in the fucking shower!  
“You said your dad took you to lessons, right?” Rei nodded. “Well then, stop fussing.”  
“Kai, I just-”  
“-Stop putting obstacles in your way, there’s no reason for you not to, is there?” Rei thought a moment, how could he tell Kai how he felt about this, and more importantly, would Kai understand?  
  
“I just…it feels like I’m betraying him…”  
“What?”  
“It was something my Dad used to do with me, a thing we shared, it doesn’t seem right doing it without him there, watching me…”  
“You’re telling me you’ve not stepped foot on the ice since your father died?”  
“No…I went on once after, but-”  
“-What do you mean then?”  
“It’s not something I’m supposed to do without him, okay, stop pushing me to do it!” Kai didn’t drop it, when maybe he should have.  
“He wouldn’t have wanted you to give up something that made you so happy to do, and made him so happy to watch you doing it.”  
“You have no idea Kai, just-”  
“-What happened then?”  
“What?”  
“You went on once after, what happened that’s making you so afraid?”  
“I’m not afraid!”  
  
“Rei…”  
“I’m not I just…I just…I fell okay!” Kai watched him closely, with a deepness to his gaze that suggested he was looking straight through him and finding the fragile person that he truly was. “I didn't do it right...I was too anxious about other things, too unfocused...I did a jump wrong and I was rushed to the emergency room! I tried to do it, for him, but I fell, the one time I fucked up and it was the one time he wasn’t there to catch me!”  
“You won’t fall…”  
“It’s not about that! It happened because I’m not supposed to do it without him-”  
“-It happened because you were nervous and didn’t trust yourself, Rei…” The raven-haired boy was incapable of speech. How dare Kai talk about this as, if he knew everything when clearly he knew nothing?  
  
Rei gasped as Kai snatched his wrists and drew him close, so close he could feel the slate-haired boy’s hot breath steaming over his flushed face. “You won’t fall…” he said softly, “you won’t get hurt, okay? I won’t let you fall…” Rei inhaled and exhaled deeply, quivering with anticipation. Kai…is he…is he going to kiss me? Suddenly not himself, a strangely disembodied feeling coming over him as he leant towards Kai slightly, Rei traced his fingertips lightly over the slate-haired boy’s fingers until they were interlocked with his.  
  
He gasped slightly with surprise, in an instant that nearly took his breath away. Kai, for that brief moment forgetting where and who he was, and ignoring any insecure thoughts that Rei might reject him, or anything else, he released the boy’s wrists, and pulled his hand roughly round Rei’s neck pulling him against his lips. Rei’s skin tingled and the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end, he closed his eyes as he fell completely into the kiss, ignoring the voice that kept saying, But, this is Kai…he’s a guy, isn’t this…wrong?  
  
Slowly the older boy pulled away, still close enough so that their noses were touching. Rei opening his eyes to see Kai give him a small smile.  
“Kai…what was-”  
“-Kai?” They both jumped at the harsh voice, and turned to see where it had come from. A girl with long dark hair, her bangs elegantly swept to the side of her face, preventing it from hanging into her dark blue eyes, which even from their distance Rei could see dark brown flecks in.  
  
“Kym?” asked Kai, looking at her with shock.  
“I see, I’m late so you go find the next girl to fill my place?!” she screamed, making Rei flinch, at both her tone and the comment. I’m a girl...A fucking girl?!  
“What? Rei’s not a-”  
“I’ve had to cancel a lot of important appointments, I’ve totally killed my schedule, and I’ve done it all for you Kai so can you at least look at me!” Kai sneered.  
“Well if you’d have turned up a few hours earlier, you would have been in time with my schedule, but since you’re late, and just as much of a bitch as ever, I have something to leave you with…”  
“What?” the girl asked, sounding confused. Kai walked up to her, picking up his skates and bag, looking her right in the face.  
“I can’t, be fucked with you anymore…” Rei’s eyes widened with shock as Kai left her speechless, walking away from her.  
  
Kai was silent all the way home; it was awkward for Rei, who now didn’t know what to think of the kiss. Maybe it was an accident - wait no, what does that mean anyway? How can a kiss be an accident? He didn’t exactly trip and fall on my lips!  
  
He got out of the car, walking with Kai slowly back to their building, still none the wiser about Kai’s or even his own feelings. Then Kai finally spoke. “I’m sorry…”  
“What?” he asked as they stopped at the entrance to their building.  
“I’m sorry for the kiss…I didn’t mean to…I mean…it was just some stupid impulse, I’m sorry…” Rei’s eyes went glassy then, and he didn’t know why.  
“That’s okay, don’t worry about it,” he said, turning and walking in the building first, hearing Kai close behind. His heart felt heavy in his chest as he walked the stairs. Of course, it was just some stupid impulse…he gave me my first kiss on a stupid impulse…I was stupid to think he’d feel any other way…Why would anyone ever feel that way about me…?  
  
  
TBC


	7. Trust Me

_Trust Me  
~Seven~  
  
  
  
_ Kai had the silent treatment for the rest of the evening. He sighed as he changed out of his clothes and ready for bed. _I knew he’d be freaked about that kiss_ , he thought, _I don’t even know why I did it!_ He turned to see that the raven-haired boy had already pulled the covers tightly round him and was pretending to sleep. _Why do I care what he thinks anyway? He’s a mouthy faggot who pokes his nose in where it doesn’t belongs… Why should I care? Why can’t I stop this feeling…like I can’t stand it when he’s angry at me…  
  
_ Rei kept his eyes closed fixedly, he couldn’t bear to even look at him, even contemplate his existence. Not because Kai had done anything wrong, it would have been all too simple if Rei would put the blame where it belonged, of course he blamed himself as usual. _Maybe he was trying to torment me in some way…see if I kissed him back or something…seeing if I really was attracted to him or whatever…or maybe he just didn’t like the kiss enough to want to take this any further…_ He knew he was never going to sleep tonight, his thoughts were jumbling around in his head, making his head ache.  
  
Finally a flick of the lamp-switch, rustling of covers and a sudden darkness, told Rei that Kai was finally in bed.  
“Rei…?” asked Kai softly. Rei bit his bottom lip, trying to stop tears trickling down his cheeks. _Why the fuck am I crying?!_ “Rei, I’ve offended you in some way, haven’t I? _Why?_ He thought, _why can’t I just have something go right…I read things about such great romances, about that special person who can make all your fears go away, that person you love…it seems that in my case, the person I love is just making it worse…Wait - is that what this is? Love? Is this what it feels like?  
  
_ Rei jumped as he shifted slightly to see Kai kneeling over him on the bed.  
“Kai, what the-”  
“-You’re crying?” he asked quietly, and Rei shook his head.  
“Cry, over you, who would?” Kai frowned slightly, wiping the tears away with his finger.  
“Is it because of the kiss?”  
“Get off my bed…”  
“Rei, just-”  
“-Get off my fucking bed!” he shouted shoving him back, not really achieving anything except making Kai snatch at his wrists and holding them over his head. “Get off me!”  
“You’re gonna listen to what I have to say!” Rei sneered, turning his head to the side, not looking at him. “Call me a bastard, hit me, scream at me - if that’s what you really want, do it! But put the blame where it belongs, with me! Not with you! Every bad thing that happens isn’t your fault, and not everybody is trying to hurt you…you can trust me.”  
  
“Trust you, feh, whatever that means…”  
“Have I ever done anything that’s made you doubt me?”  
“You threw a fucking chest of drawers at me!”  
“I missed didn’t I?”  
“Get off, get off!” Rei yelled, smacking him across the face, and they stilled. Kai watched him oddly, making Rei uneasy.  
  
As Rei’s breath finally returned to him, so did Kai’s speech.  
“Is this what you’re so upset about Rei?” asked Kai, slowly brushing his fingers along Rei’s boxer-line, bringing the material lower.  
“K-Kai, stop!” he gasped, throwing his head to the side. Kai leant in as he ran feather-light touches at the apex of the boy’s thighs.  
“You hypocrite…you go on preaching to me about how it’s wrong to judge homosexuality…and here you are getting angry at me for kissing you!”  
“If you call _that_ a kiss…” sneered Rei, but was paid back tenfold as Kai watched his expression closely, running his fingers lightly over the boy’s pubic bone. “Nnnh!” he moaned as Kai grinned slightly.  
“Are you kidding me? I _know_ that was your first kiss…” Rei’s eyes widened.  
“You don’t know that!”  
“You didn’t even know how to respond to it, Rei…” Rei flushed. Was his innocence really that obvious? “But you certainly need to no instruction of how to respond now,” he said, raising an eyebrow at Rei’s boxers that were now damp with the younger boy’s arousal. “Like to be teased do we?”  
“Shut up!” Rei shouted, shoving Kai off him, making him fall hard to the floor. “That’s all you do, you know how I am and you _still_ torment me about my shyness and my inexperience and _everything else_!” Rei got up and walked over to the bathroom, slamming it shut and locking it behind him.  
  
The boy sat on the side of the bath and held his head in his hands, letting the fresh tears fall. “I let him touch me like that…and my body enjoyed it…” he muttered, closing his eyes tightly, “Zeo was right, this defies all laws of reason…why love someone only to feel like this?” There was that word again, _“love”_ , was he sure his feelings really ran that deep, in all truthfulness he didn’t know what love felt like, so how did he know the difference between love and lust for the touch of the boy he’d dreamt about every night since he met him. “I must love him…or it wouldn’t hurt so badly…and I wouldn’t tremble like I do when he comes near me…” he sighed blinking away tears, “I’m so fucked up…”  
  


***

“Rei?” called Kai as he knocked on the bathroom door the next morning, the upset boy still inside. “Rei?” Kai sighed, resting his ear against the door, he couldn’t hear anything. “Are you still pissed at me?” No answer. “Wanna make some noise so I know you’re not dead?” A silence, and then the loud clump of an object slamming into the door from Rei’s side, obviously Rei had thrown it in reply, not willing to talk to Kai yet. “Thank you.” Still silence from the bathroom. "Dare I ask what that was that you threw? A meat-cleaver, or-"  
"-Your hair gel."  
"What?"  
"And not the crappy stuff either, the good bottle that you hide behind the towels." Kai sneered. _Fucking bastard...does he know how much that stuff costs?!_ "And I poured what I didn't use of your expensive shampoo down the sink, _how mature,_ he thought sarcastically, _he's getting me back with my hair products...and it's fucking working?!_  
“Are you coming out yet?” Again, the silence had returned. “Rei, come out.”  
“Why should I?” came a muffled voice from inside the bathroom.  
“I need to pee.” Kai turned as the bedroom door opened, Tala, Zeo and Kevin stepping into the room. “And your friends are here.”  
“I still hate you.”  
“Wouldn’t be the first time,” replied Kai, as Rei stepped out of the bathroom, distinctly ignoring Kai and avoiding his eyes.  
  
Kevin and the others flinched as Kai slammed the bathroom door closed behind him, and looked to Rei.  
“Trouble in paradise?” asked Kevin. Rei walked over to the drawer, hastily but subtly dressing himself.  
“More like a tsunami in Hell…” mumbled Rei, pulling on his clothes.  
“But I thought you two were getting along?” said Tala. Rei didn’t say anything. The others looked at each other, and Zeo stepped forward, placing a hand on Rei’s shoulders.  
“Rei, what happened?” Rei stopped a moment, then turned to face him, a forced smile on his face.  
“Can we just…can we just go? Please, anywhere but here.” Zeo nodded. Rei walked out the door, closely followed by Kevin, but as Tala went to follow after Zeo, the green-haired boy blocked his path.  
“We stay here,” he said softly.  
“Why?” asked Tala.  
“To give Kai some advice…”  
  
  
TBC


	8. Confrontation

_Confrontation  
~Eight~  
  
  
_ Kai sighed as he splashed the last of the warm water of his face, before the water began to run cold. _Fucking bastard_ , he thought as he started to dry himself. _While he was sulking he decided to help himself to all the damn hot water!_ Still, he supposed he deserved it. Just because he was an unstable emotional mess didn’t give him the right to - but that was just it, he didn’t know why he did it. _I’m just fucked up_ , he thought, opening the bathroom door.  
  
The slate-haired boy stopped in the doorway, seeing Zeo perched casually on _his_ bed, and Tala propped against the wall sinisterly, looking like one of the security men on off of one of those live chat shows. _Brilliant,_ thought Kai, _Tala and Zeo have gone ‘Jeremy Kyle’.  
  
_ “What do you want, because I’m really not in the mood?” asked Kai, not taking a blind bit of notice to the fact that he had only a small towel shielding his nudity from his two former friends. Zeo however did notice, and gave a slight smile.  
“Well Kai, you certainly haven’t let yourself go,” Kai rolled his eyes as the green-haired boy eyed him up, “and you don’t lack for curves either.”  
“Don’t even think about it Zeo,” warned Kai.  
“What?” he asked in disbelief.  
“I’m not a fucking queer like you.”  
  
Suddenly Zeo’s light mood evaporated. “I’ll ask what you want one more time…” Kai said dangerously.  
“I’m not afraid of you Kai,” Zeo muttered calmly.  
“Always were the bold one out of us,” Sneered Kai, “Tala was the one who fixed things and made sure we didn’t slaughter each other, but you were the bastard who always thought he was right. Oh, Holy fucking Zeo with all the fucking answers!”  
“And you were just the big-mouth, little screw up-”  
“-Zeo!” barked Tala, suddenly seeming to awaken from his silence in the corner.  
  
“Get your boy out of here Tala before he looses some teeth. I’m sure Brooklyn wouldn’t want to suck face with you if you were toothless…”  
“Oh, right everything’s about you,” growled Zeo, getting to his feet, “if you can contemplate getting over yourself for one minute, you’ll know that what happened - _is_ happening with Brooklyn has _nothing_ to do with you-”  
“Yeah, right, whatever…so you didn’t get that extra thrill picturing the look on my face when I found out?”  
“Believe it or not I don’t think of you during sex Kai, the thought of your face would make my dick wilt so much it’d fall off!”  
“Guys-”  
“-As usual Zeo, shouting about yourself. What’s the matter, upset I touched Rei up before you got your shot at him?” asked Kai with a teasing voice.  
“What? What did you do to Rei?” asked Zeo, and Tala seemed to be watching them both closely. Kai smirked, carelessly turning his back on them and getting dressed.  
“Oh, he asked for it…”  
“ _What - did - you - do?”_ asked Zeo dangerously. Kai turned to him, now fully clothed, with an accusing grin on his face.  
  
“I _knew_ it; you’re in to him, right?” Zeo sneered.  
“I know how he is, and if you’ve done anything to make those insecurities any worse Kai, so help me I’ll-”  
“-He was sulking about something; being such a hypocritical little shit…I figured the little fuck out. He has a crush on me, right?” Zeo and Tala shifted uncomfortably in a telltale manner, and Kai grimaced. “Am I right?”  
“No…” replied Tala quietly.  
“You liar…” retaliated Kai. “I barely touched the fag and he fucking came all over the place.” Zeo sneered at him.  
“If you knew about his feelings…why did you torment him like that?” Zeo asked, calming slightly.  
  
Kai shrugged.  
“Why not?” he said casually.  
“Why not? WHY NOT?” Zeo repeated, “Because he’s the only one left that cares about you so fucking much Kai! You treat him like shit and he still fucking cares!”  
“I don’t want the bastard to care…” replied Kai, “Why are you all fucking trying to FIX ME?!” screamed Kai, taking all of his will power not to damage any more furniture by throwing it at them. “I’m not fucking broken! If you weren’t so busy sleeping around and upping gay fucking pride you’d see that!”  
“Don’t you dare make _us_ look like the selfish ones. You’re the one toying with the feelings of another human being! You’re the one who ran off like a little coward without do much as a word; do you know how much you made us worry? Do you know what you did to Brooklyn? To us? To Wyatt?”  
  
The whole room seemed to freeze. Kai’s bangs hung into his eyes so that they couldn’t see his expression, but they knew he was on the verge of snapping.  
“How dare you say his name…?” muttered Kai, dangerously calm, almost a whisper.  
“You’re the one that disappeared; it’s you who don’t deserve to even be able to have the luxury of coming back here and starting again, especially after how you tore him apart like that-”  
“Zeo,” interrupted Tala, “stop-”  
“-It wasn’t my fault!” screamed Kai. Zeo sneered as he walked towards the door.  
“Is that what you tell yourself at night?”  
“Zeo-”  
“-If you think its true then why are you letting your guilt turn you away from everyone?”  
“This isn’t about feeling guilty for leaving!”  
“Then why are you tormenting someone who cares about you?” insisted Zeo.  
“Shut up Zeo, you have no idea what-”  
“-Why do you make a big joke out of how he feels, and then touch him like-”  
“Because I want him and it’s tearing me apart inside!” screamed Kai.  
  
They stopped again, Kai’s breath ragged from shouting so loud. He looked at his feet as he spoke, as if ashamed, and maybe, a little he was…  
  
“Wyatt suffers, because of my cowardice and stupidity…and I…Rei’s right there in front of me…but I feel like I get close to him…to anyone…it feels like I don’t have the right.” Finally he looked up to his once friends. “It feels like I don’t have the right to be happy, when Wyatt…I should suffer, like he has to…”  
“Kai…” said Tala softly, “Wyatt wouldn’t want you to suffer like…”  
“How do you know? Who knows what he’s suffering while he’s - you don’t even know what happened! Why I left, or why Wyatt is-” he stopped as the door opened, and in walked Rei and Kevin.  
  
“Kevin told me they were gonna _talk_ to you…” said Rei, looking at Kai. “I took that to mean they were going to yell at you about doing something to make me upset - again.” Kai said nothing.  
“We were gonna do that but…other things got in the way…”  
“The past is a slippery fucker,” said Zeo, watching Kai for a moment, before turning and leaving, without a word. Kevin and Tala watched each other across the room, and though Kevin was reluctant to leave his friend alone with the person he hated more than _anything_ , Tala snatched his wrist and took him with him, leaving Kai and Rei alone in an awkward silence, not for the first, nor last time.  
  
Rei sat down on the edge of the bed, and Kai sighed, walking towards him.  
“Rei, I-” Kai was cut off as the phone rang. He sighed again, picking up the telephone, holding Rei’s gaze as he answered. “Hello?” He broke their eye contact and turned away from him. “Is it anything…oh, I see…Of course...yes, I wanted to be notified…I’ll come right now…Thank you, bye.” He hung up, and walked over to the door, totally ignoring Rei’s existence.  
“Kai, where are you-”  
“-I’ll be home later, we’ll talk then,” he said, not even stopping to look at him as he rushed out the door.  
“But Kai!” Rei sighed as the door shut behind the older boy. “Fabulous…should have just let Zeo and Tala kill him…”  
  
The boy jumped as the phone rang again. After his heart started to beat normally again, he answered. “Hello this is-”  
“-Mr Hiwatari?”  
“Umm…no I…”  
“Is Mr Hiwatari there?” asked a woman’s voice.  
“No, can I take a message?” asked Rei in confusion. Short of Kym, (and he knew it wasn’t her), what girl would call Kai, his social circle was kind of restricted, him being an asshole and all…  
“It’s just…I was told to ask Mr Hiwatari to hasten, the surgery has been moved forward to this afternoon and…” _Surgery_ , thought Rei, _Kai’s having surgery?_  
  
“Sorry, what hospital was this again?” asked Rei. The woman on the other end took a hesitant pause, as if she wasn’t prepared to answer. “It’s the one up _Finches Road_ , the Intensive Care unit…”  
  
It wasn’t three minutes later when Rei was speeding up the pavement, trying to catch up with Kai. He’d run all the way to the hospital, and no sign of him, he had no idea how he was going to find him now. Taking the East Wing entrance to the Intensive care, a small, fair, sweet looking nurse stopped when she noticed him wandering, studying the directions on the wall.  
“Can I help you?” she asked. He smiled awkwardly.  
“Umm…I’m a friend of Mr Hiwatari’s, he just-”  
“-He comes here often, but, not so much lately, things had seemed to be getting better up until now.” Rei gulped. _What’s wrong with him? Is it really that bad?  
_ “Can you tell me where he is?”  
“Well I-”  
“-Please, I’ve got to find him.” The girl smiled slightly.  
“He’s in Ward D, Room 8.” Rei smiled.  
“Thank you.”  
  
The hospital was like a maze. _A big fucking white-wash, sterilized jungle, that’s what it is,_ thought the raven-haired boy as he counted door numbers 6, 7, then finally 8. Rei looked to see Kai just walking in the room; thankfully he was far enough for the boy not to notice him. Rei rushed forwards and peeked through the door. Kai sat down on the chair beside the bed, leaning in to place a kiss on the unconscious patient’s forehead, softly brushing the hair from his face, and smiling slightly.  
  
“Hey,” he said huskily, his voice coming out jagged and broken, “hey, baby, it’s me…” Rei felt his heartache as Kai looked at the boy’s hand, and hesitantly interlocked his fingers with his own. “Sorry I haven’t come to see you for a few days, Brooklyn’s been working me harder than ever and it’s exhausting,” Rei listened at the door, not making his presence known. He didn’t know why he’d followed Kai here, he just had to know what he was hiding, perhaps it was wrong, but how could he help him if he didn’t know why he needed help.  
  
“I had an argument with Tala and Zeo today,” he said, carrying on the conversation as if the boy were going to talk back, but of course he didn’t. “About Rei, I told you about him right, my roommate?” the constant, steady beeping of the life support was all that sounded. “But it ended up being about us again…it always does…they don’t know…they can’t know - if they ever found out they’d…if they ever knew what happened to me, to you…” the slate-haired boy broke off, and stared at the sheets for a moment, before speaking again. “I got a phone call today…the doctors say that…they say you’re not getting better…they say you’re only hope is this surgery this afternoon, and even then it’s…they say you’ve got a one in five chance of survival…”  
  
Rei’s eyes widened as he watched a single tear trickle down Kai’s cheek. “You have to pull through, you have too…I don’t care how unlikely they say it is…if you _ever_ loved me you’ll do this…please. If you die, I’ll - how can I tell our friends how this happened - the way they’ll look at me…the things they’ll think of you, I…I couldn’t protect you before, and I’m sorry, but stop punishing me from running away…” For a moment, Kai rested his forehead against the unconscious boy’s hand, not saying anything.  
  
After a while, looking back to him, forcing up a smile. “I wanted to ask you some advice…about Rei…” Rei’s ears perked, _about me?  
  
_ “I kissed him last night…I don’t understand why…or why afterwards I… You’ll kill me when you wake up but I _touched_ him, but I, I don’t understand why I did it. We were arguing and I just…I’m so seriously fucked up…”  
“Excuse me?” Rei turned to see a nurse behind him, probably curious as to why he was hovering outside a door, “can I help you?” Rei said nothing, but looking back into the room, to his horror, Kai had noticed him.  
  
  
TBC


	9. Falling

_Falling  
~ Nine~  
  
  
  
_ “Excuse me?” Rei turned to see a nurse behind him, probably curious as to why he was hovering outside a door, “can I help you?” Rei said nothing, but looking back into the room, to his horror, Kai had noticed him.  
  
“Umm, no I just-”  
“-This patient is going into surgery; visiting hours at this point are for family only.” Rei practically flinched when Kai stepped out of the room.  
“He’s with me,” he said to the nurse, not looking at Rei, and the woman nodded.  
  
As the nurse along with a few others wheeled the boy out of the room and into surgery Kai sat down in the abandoned waiting hall, Rei standing lost and bewildered at the door still. Kai leant over, holding his head in his hands, and Rei watched him for a sign of anger, that he was going to throttle him, but it never came. “Sit with me,” he said softly, and Rei looked at him with disbelief. “I said, sit.” Hesitantly the raven-haired boy came and sat beside him, and another silence fell over them.  
  
“Enjoy the show did you?” asked Kai.  
“What?”  
“ _Wow, the amazing bastard has feelings. The soppy fucker cried over someone besides himself!_ That what you had in mind?” Rei looked hurt, but tears were falling down Kai’s cheeks.  
“That’s the second time you’ve underestimated me, I’m not like that, Kai…”  
“I don’t need nor want your sympathy…just leave if you’re gonna-”  
“-I’m not leaving,” said Rei firmly, “how can I leave you like this?” Kai said nothing, too distressed to argue.  
  
“Who is he?” asked Rei after a long pause. Kai looked at him.  
“He’s…an old friend; he was friends with Zeo and Tala too…” Rei continued to watch him, seeing right through him. “Well, he was - _is_ more than that…” Rei patted his shoulder softly.  
“I understand…he was your, boyfriend, right?” Kai took a breath, and nodded, and Rei knew it was the first time that he’d acknowledged this boy as such a thing, _homophobic to the core…even when he **is** one…  
  
_ “What’s wrong with him?” Kai shook his head as he rested it back in his hands, closing his eyes, as if trying to shut out the rest of the world.  
“I left the country to return home after - something happened, to me, that…I just couldn’t face anyone, least of all the people who were my friends…least of all the person that I loved…” Rei listened carefully as Kai spoke, talking as if a weight was being left off his chest. “Tala, Zeo and _Wyatt_ , went looking for me on their own, when everyone else had given up on me… Wyatt separated from the others, and then the people…he ran into some people that knew me, and they paid Wyatt for it…because he loved me…because I ran away, they beat him into the ground.”  
  
“They made him like this?” Kai shook his head.  
“Well…they put him in the coma, but he had a weak heart and…during the attack he must have…this surgery is the only chance he has left…but it could kill him…” Rei’s heart ached as he watched the tears pouring down his face. He didn’t know what to say or do, but he felt he had to say something, _anything_ to make Kai feel better.  
  
Hesitantly Rei slipped his had in Kai’s, and the older boy looked at him.  
“I’m here…whatever happens, I’m right here…” Kai nodded, and the first, untainted smile shone at Rei through the tears, and it made his heart feel a little lighter.  
“I know…thank you…I just…” Rei’s eyes widened as everything that he had known Kai to be, crumbled before his very eyes, suddenly he wasn’t the tough-skinned, cold man he’d made himself out to be, right now he seemed nothing more than a scared child. “If he dies I don’t know what I’ll do…” Rei got over the initial shock of Kai’s sudden weakness, rubbing Kai’s back softly.  
“It’s okay, everything’s-”  
“-I’m scared, Rei…it feels like I’m falling, faster and faster, and I can’t see the bottom…I’m so lost…”  
  
Rei smiled, lifting the boy’s chin, dominant for once in his life and wiped the boy’s tears away, planting a soft kiss on the older boy’s lips.  
“What’re you doing?” asked Kai, as they broke apart for the necessity of air.” Rei smiled. “You won’t get hurt, okay?” Kai blushed slightly at the echoes of his own words, “I won’t let you fall…” Rei flushed as Kai pulled him back into a kiss that made butterflies flutter in his stomach. _Is this love? Like Zeo was talking about, a love that defies all laws of reason…that lifts you up so high…or maybe this is giving comfort to someone I care about…how am I supposed to know the difference between friendship, and love…?_  
  
  


***

Kai wandered back out of his insane thunderstorm of thoughts, the quiet seemed to come as he looked down, seeing what had started him from his pensiveness. Rei had dozed off, and was resting on his shoulder. Kai watched him as he twitched slightly, and Kai sighed, throwing his coat of the boy, before falling back into thoughtfulness. _Why did I kiss him back? I can’t, I_ **don’t** love him. How could I? Wyatt is lying in there, he might be - No, don’t think that…but, I’m betraying him, just by thinking these things about Rei, aren’t I? Three times I’ve kissed him now and -  
  
Kai leapt up as the doctor came through the doors, startling Rei from his doze, whom, when he realised what was happening, stood up as well.  
“Mr Hiwatari?” asked the doctor, and Kai nodded slowly, taking deep breaths.  
“Is…is he okay?” asked Kai, partially not wanting to know. If Wyatt wasn’t okay, this ignorance was bliss, and he could at this moment at least still have hope that he was alive, but once the words were said, there was no taking them back again. “Is Wyatt going to be alright?” Kai repeated. The doctor looked at both the boys before replying.  
  
  
TBC


	10. Life’s Bitter Truths - The Sound Of Thunder

_Life’s Bitter Truths - The Sound Of Thunder  
~Ten~  
  
  
  
_ “Is Wyatt going to be alright?” Kai repeated. The doctor looked at both the boys before replying.  
  
“Wyatt’s condition,” the man said heavily, “was worse than we’d first thought.” Kai said nothing, and Rei suddenly felt awkward for being here, as if he were intruding on Kai’s grief, _I shouldn’t be here,_ he thought as the doctor took in a deep breath, _it should be Brooklyn, or Tala, or someone that knows Kai, someone that Kai cares about…not me…  
  
_ “His heart was too weak to withstand the surgery…” Kai looked at the man with fear mingled with something Rei couldn’t put his finger on in those crimson orbs.  
“He’s…dead?” asked Kai huskily. The doctor shook his head, and both Kai and Rei’s heart lifted for a moment, only to have themselves crushed moments after.  
“Not _yet_ …but, it won’t be long now…if you…want to say your goodbyes, now would be the time…” Kai looked down for a moment, lingering deep in misery as well as thought. The doctor placed his hands on the boy’s shoulders, and Kai looked up at him. “But, the good news, or bad news, which ever way you take it, is that, Wyatt is awake.”  
  
Kai’s eyes widened and he swallowed hard as the doctor lead both him and Rei through to a different room.  
"But, why would him being awake possibly be bad news?" asked Rei quietly as the doctor left them at the door. Kai didn't look at him as he replied.  
"If he's awake...he'll be aware of the pain..."  
"Oh..." muttered Rei, feeling stupid and insensitive. Kai stopped at the door, not advancing any further, and Rei looked at him in confusion.  
“Kai, what’s wrong?” he asked. Kai bit his lower lip slightly.  
“I - I don’t know what to say to him…how can I speak to him now…I’ll fall apart…”  
“Kai-”  
“-I can’t Rei, I just-”  
“-Listen to me!” he ordered, grabbing the taller boy by the shoulders. “My father died, and there isn’t a day that goes by that I wish I could have had the chance to tell him I love him one last time…You have that chance, Kai,” the slate-haired boy looked at him for a moment, as if seeing him in a new light. He wasn’t some shy, whiny brat anymore; he seemed so much more older, and so different. “And if you throw that chance away now, you’ll never forgive yourself…” Kai nodded.  
  
“You’re right, of course you’re right…thanks…” inhaling deeply, the boy walked forwards, and stood at the side of the bed, Rei still hovering in the doorway, unseen by the hospitalised boy as he opened his eyes and turned his head as Kai stroked the bangs off his sweat-covered forehead.  
“Kai?”  
“Yeah, who else would it be?” replied the older boy, his voice a lot stronger than before.  
“You’ve come to see me nearly everyday…they told me so…” Kai smiled slightly looking down as the smaller boy’s hand slipped into his. “I could hear your voice…” Kai smiled again.  
“Really? You poor thing.” The small boy smiled, and Rei felt a small ping in his heart as he watched this scene. _This is awful, how can this be right? The way Zeo described it…love isn't supposed to be like this - is it? What can be so good about this feeling if it tears people apart like this?  
  
_ “You are doing well, on the ice?” Kai nodded, his eyes turning glassy.  
“I chucked Kym though - stuffy bitch,” he joked, and that same bright smile returned to the sick boy’s face.  
“Tala and Zeo miss you,” said Kai, and Wyatt nodded, “Tala’s still bullying that dork Kevin into bed with him, and Zeo’s sleeping with Brooklyn of all people.”  
“Heh, Brooklyn you cradle-robbing pervert,” he replied, and Kai smiled, following the path of Wyatt’s eyes as he looked towards the door. “And you…are you Rei?” Rei’s eyes widened, obviously his part was one of the occasions Wyatt had actually heard Kai speak.  
“Umm, yeah,” said Rei nervously, stepping closer as Kai signalled him to do so, the raven-haired boy looking awkward, staring at the floor.  
  
“He’s a cutie Kai, no wonder you kissed him,” he said. Both Kai and Rei looked at the boy in confusion and slight fear, _how can he say something like that?_ Rei’s thoughts practically screamed, _he’s Kai’s boyfriend and he’s egging him on when he comes onto me!  
  
_ “Wyatt I-”  
“-Wait Kai, there’s…not a lot of time left so…”  
“Wyatt?” he asked as the boy’s voice seemed to falter.  
“It wasn’t your fault, Kai-”  
“-How can you say that, this happened because-” a soft squeeze of his hand silence him.  
“Don’t spend the rest of your life blaming yourself and distancing yourself from the people that care about you…” Kai said nothing. “Promise me, you’ll look after Zeo, and Tala, and don’t let anything get in the way of your friendship anymore?” Kai nodded slightly, not being able to force up words. “Your next performance is coming up soon, isn’t it?” Kai nodded. “You’ll do your best right, for me?” Kai nodded, biting back tears. “And you’ll be happy?” Kai took a moment, before nodding again in reply. "Promise?"  
"I promise..." Kai choked.  
  
Slowly, Wyatt turned to look at Rei, who was still standing at the end of the bed. “You’ll take care of Kai, won’t you?” Rei looked a little taken aback, but smiled and nodded all the same, he found it odd how both he and Kai seemed incapable of speech. “You’re a good person…I know you won’t break his heart…” Kai looked at Wyatt, almost angry.  
“Wyatt-”  
“-Kai…I…never stopped…loving you, you know that…right?” Kai looked down at him, placing a soft kiss on his lips.  
  
Rei jumped as someone pushed past him into the room, and Kai broke away from Wyatt as two people, (obviously his parents) made their way to his side. Rei watched as the frantic couple fussed around the boy, and Kai walked slowly out of the room - the raven-haired boy took that as his cue to leave.  
  
“Kai! Kai wait!” called Rei as Kai continued to walk along the pavement. Rei caught up to him, slightly out of breath. “Kai, wait! Why did you just leave like that?”  
“I’ve done all that I can, he has to be with his family now…” muttered Kai distantly, clearly still in a world of his own.  
“Why didn’t you stop to talk to them, they might have wanted to speak to you?” Kai stopped snapping out of his pensive state.  
“Oh, yeah, that would have gone down well. On Wyatt’s deathbed - _‘by the way did you know your son was a faggot, no?! Well I’m his fucking gay lover, nice to meet you!’_ ” As the slate-haired boy continued to walk, Rei fought to keep the pace with him, but it seemed Kai was determined to make it hard for him. Maybe Rei should leave him alone, to sort himself out for a little while, that’s what he’d need, but he knew Kai wasn’t stable enough to be trusted on his own - _he’d go and do something stupid, I_ **know** he would…  
  


***

“I’m sorry, I know I’m crowding you,” said Rei as he followed Kai into there dorm a few minutes later, closing the door behind him. “But believe it or not I care about you, and I can’t leave you alone when I know you’re bound to do something stupid.” Kai sat on the edge of his bed, head in his hands.  
“Get away from me…you meddling bastard can’t you see this is nothing to do with you…?”  
“I know it hasn’t, but if you push the people who are involved away that care, I’m all that’s left.” No reply, he didn’t even look up at him when he spoke. “Kai, please,” he said softly, kneeling down in front of him and patting his knee softly, “just-”  
“-Get off me!” Kai shouted, smacking Rei across the face and sending him slamming into the floor. “Don’t touch me you fucking queer prick!” Rei flinched as he sat up; holding his face, blood trickling out of his mouth. “Stop hovering round me wearing that look and touching me all the fucking time! Wake up, _Princess_ ; I’m not fucking into you! Why would I want to touch you? You whining, interfering bastard, just keep away from me!”  
  
Rei’s eyes glistened with the fresh tears, hurt in those golden eyes as he looked up at Kai, who seemed to calm down. “Rei, I’m sorry, I-”  
“-Get away from me,” the smaller boy warned, getting unstably to his feet. The raven-haired boy looked at him furiously, wiping the blood from his mouth.  
“Rei, I-”  
“-Save it!” Rei hissed, getting into bed and turning his lamp off. Kai watched the back of him as he tried to go to sleep himself, finding it impossible. _I’ve done it now,_ he thought as he heard quiet sobs come from Rei’s bed, _he’s never going to speak to me again…  
  
_ Within the hour Rei’s sobs had slowly turned into deep breathing, signalling that he’d fallen asleep, Kai however was not so lucky. Thoughts were jumbled in his head, colliding with each other, making it impossible to calm his mind and go to sleep. Thoughts of Wyatt, thoughts of Rei, of Tala and Zeo, of his career, of college courses, everything seemed to be lending a hand in keeping him awake.  
  
He turned to look at the clock on his bedside table. _3:48 a.m?!_ Kai sighed, resting his head back on the pillow.  
“What am I gonna do?” he asked himself aloud. “I promised Wyatt I would do well in this upcoming competition, but with Kym gone I can’t even enter.” He grumbled with annoyance, he just wanted to sleep. He’d had a long, miserable, and all in all the worst day of his life.  
  
Between 2:00 and 3:00 a.m. he’d had his turn in crying, then convincing himself he had to stop being so soft and think of how to fix the mess he’d made of his life. _Brooklyn will help me beg Kym to come back, he always does,_ he thought. Closing his eyes, he heard the wind outside pick up and whistle as it flew past the open window, the beginnings of a storm rolling overhead.  
  
Ironically he’d just fallen asleep as the storm started to pick up, thunder rumbling and moments later, a white flash of lightning, that didn’t stir the slate-haired boy from his sleep. However, it soon woke the boy in the bed beside him.  
  
Rei jumped as the lightning flashed outside. Looking over to the clock he saw that it was off, the electricity tripped out by the storm, the curtains billowing in the harsh wind blowing through the open window, Rei hastily tiptoed over to it. Just his luck was that it was _this_ damn window that was left open, he could never close it, and he hated when he had to give up his pride as a man and ask Kai to close it for him. With great difficulty Rei put his weight on the window, forcing it to slide down, and closed.  
  
For once in his life closing the curtains, he rushed back over to his bed, sitting with his knees drawn up to his chest, the covers wrapped tightly round him in the way a child would when they have a bad dream. _Pull yourself together Kon,_ he thought, looking around him at the all of a sudden _creepy_ darkness, _Kai would never let you live it down if he woke up and found you worrying in the dark like a little baby, afraid of a bit of a storm.  
  
_ He jumped again as thunder rolled overhead, two seconds later the lightning flashing, illuminating the dark room, making Rei reach desperately for his bedside lamp. He realised after a few more failed attempts at switching it on that there was no electricity. _Come on Rei, pull yourself together -_ He squeaked loudly with fear as the thunder came again, lightning flashing almost directly out the back of the building.  
  
Looking over to Kai, he noticed that he was still asleep, the storm not bothering him in the slightest. _If he wakes up and sees me like this he’ll -_ “Ah!” he squealed, as the thunder and lightning repeated.  
  
Kai frowned as he felt something poking him in the shoulder, turning; he saw Rei silhouetted at his side as the lightning flashed once more, noticing the younger boy’s flinch.  
“What the fuck?” he mumbled, grumpy, only having fallen asleep around fifteen minutes ago.  
“Can I sleep with you tonight?” asked Rei pathetically. Kai sneered.  
“What?”  
“I don’t like thunder…and there’s no electricity…” he whimpered pitifully.  
“Do you have any idea what time it is?”  
“Kai, please?”  
“Piss off you wimp, I’ve got to do a lot practice tomorrow so get over your fucking phobia on your own!” he growled turning back over, “grow up…big baby…”  
  
Rei turned away miserably. Leaping out of his skin and yelping slightly when another flash of lightning crashed outside their window, and Kai’s hand snatched at his wrist, yanking him into the bed with him.  
“Kai?”  
“I don’t have time for games…but if you’ll forgive me for earlier, you can sleep here tonight,” muttered Kai. Rei looked at him with glistening eyes and nodded.  
“Thank you, Kai…” said Rei, as Kai shared the duvet a little more fairly.  
  
The older boy’s eyes snapped open with surprise as he felt Rei nuzzling slightly into his chest as the storm seemed to worsen.  
“You really are scared of thunder aren’t you?” asked Kai with disbelief. Rei avoided his eyes, wearing a childish look.  
“…and lightning…” he added pitiably, making the other boy smile.  
  
An awkward silence, the kind they both knew too well fell over them, both making a point of keeping their hands to themselves, but Rei’s head resting on Kai’s shoulder, so that his breath tickled the older boy’s chin.  
“Rei?” he asked quietly, not sure if the boy was still awake or not.  
“Yeah?”  
“Tomorrow, will you - never mind.”  
“What is it?” asked Rei, propping himself up on his elbow to look at the other boy’s face.  
“I just…tomorrow…when I go back on the ice again, it’ll be the first time since…” Rei understood, and nodded slightly, flinching as the lightning struck, though a little further off this time. “Will you…skate onto the ice with me…for the first time? I just don’t feel very-”  
“-Of course, if that’s something I can do to make you feel better,” said Rei, and Kai smiled again.  
“Thanks.”  
  
Rei didn’t even respond when the next sound of thunder or flash of lightning lit the room, already dozing back off next to Kai, and the other boy not far behind. Finding it easier to sleep all of a sudden, as Rei shifted in his sleep, pressing closer against the other boy’s body, so that Kai could feel his heartbeat against his chest. _I shouldn't be able to feel this contented so soon...but Wyatt, is this…_ he closed his eyes, allowing sleep to take him, the smaller frame spooned against him, heartbeat the lullaby, soothing his racing mind and heavy heart, _is this what it’s like…to be happy?_  
  
  
  
TBC


	11. Inspired

_Inspired  
~Eleven~  
  
  
  
_ The sunlight shimmering in through the window found the two boys in Kai’s bed that next morning, Rei spooned up against the shirtless form of Kai, who for once, was the first to awake from his deep slumber. He winced as the sun hit his eyes through the gap in the curtains, and he looked about him, disorientated, looking across in confusion when he felt something snuggled against him. It was only when he saw the raven-haired boy, arms wrapped loosely around his torso that he remembered why he wasn’t alone in his bed.  
  
The slate-haired boy sat up, wiping the sleep from his eyes and looking about the room for a moment, gathering his thoughts, and unfortunately the memories of the day before. _Wyatt, it wasn’t a dream…you’re really gone, aren’t you?_  
  
Tears loomed just behind his eyes, threatening to spill, but he wouldn’t allow it, he couldn’t, to show such a vulnerable side - the last time he allowed himself to do such a thing - no, he wouldn’t even dare to remember. A small whimper at his side stirred him from his thoughts, and he looked down at the awakening boy. “Good sleep?” he asked, without really thinking, or listening out for the answer, focusing all his attention on not slumming back into a state of despair.  
  
“Yeah, I-” the smaller boy cut off as the phone rang. Kai scowled at the high-pitched ring, too loud for his delicate ears this soon after waking up. Rei flushed as the older boy reached over him, pressing his chest against his slightly, as he picked up the phone. Kai noted the other boy’s flush and smirked.  
“You wipe that look of your face or I’ll shove this phone up your ass.” Rei’s eyes widened, and the blush darkened.  
“Sex toys already Kai, you work fast!” Kai scowled at the voice on the other end of the phone, obviously having heard Kai’s threat. Kai handed the phone to Rei.  
“Who is it?” asked Rei. Kai looked at him for a moment.  
“It’s the village idiot.”  
“Which one?” he smiled, causing one to play at the taller boy’s lips.  
“The blond-one’s other half.” Rei grinned and pressed his ear to the phone.  
  
“Hey Ty, what’s up?” he asked cheerfully as Kai got up, moving into the bathroom.  
“You tell me! I called you eighty-four times yesterday, where were you?” Rei sat back slightly, twirling the phone cord around his finger carelessly.  
“I was just-” he broke off, suddenly remembering exactly where he’d been yesterday. _The hospital, with Kai and…that boy, who was-  
_ “Rei, am I talking to myself here?” Rei snapped out of it.  
“I was sick yesterday, so I left the phone on mute.” Tyson didn’t sound convinced, _for a druggie he certainly is perceptive_.  
“Nah, you and Kai were probably at it right?” _Then again, maybe I’m giving him a little too much credit…  
  
_ “Just because you make love to Max on Zeo’s bed doesn’t mean everyone else is always-”  
“- _Make Love_? Are you a woman?” asked Kai as he returned from the bathroom, getting dressed.  
“No!” snapped Rei, hastily unwrapping the telephone cord from his finger, and readjusting the feminine way he was sitting.  
“But he can be for you Kai,” sniggered Tyson on the other line, and Rei’s eyes narrowed.  
“Can I help you Tyson, I don’t want to keep you from your weed.” He heard that goofy giggle which told him Max was there with him, _probably recovering from whatever Tyson had done to him the night before - Ewww, did I just think that? Friendships with perverted gays are turning me dirty…  
  
_ “I was just worried about ya buddy,” Rei waited for the _‘and’_ or _‘but’_ , and sure enough: “and Max wouldn’t _co-operate_ with my _needs_ until he knew you were okay.” Rei rolled his eyes. “Ya coming by today?” Rei watched the back of Kai thoughtfully for a moment before replying.  
“I’ll see, I’ve got something to do so-” he stopped as Tyson coughed hard, something that sounded a lot like, _‘anal-sex!’_ “You’re a pervert Tyson.”  
“Yeah, well, what can you do?”  
“Get therapy?”  
“Too expensive, much rather buy something useful.”  
“Like weed or condoms?” asked Rei, and he could just picture the goofy look on the bluenette’s face.  
“Know me too well, see ya buddy.”  
“Later.”  
  
Rei sighed as he put the phone down, moving forwards in getting dressed. He’d managed to wash and was just pulling on his pants when he realised Kai was watching him. He turned to face him. “Having one of your staring phases today are we?” Kai’s face remained expressionless.  
“You going over to Zeo’s today?” asked Kai, trying to fake false interest, but failing miserably. Rei watched him for a moment.  
“You asked me to go with you, so I will, okay?” Kai nodded. It was strange, the incident yesterday made Rei seem more adult than before, whereas Kai, seemed to be acting more childlike and withdrawn than before. “I know you don’t… you’re scared aren’t you?” Rei looked at him with confusion for a moment, before he realised what he meant.

 

***

Far from harbouring pity for Kai’s situation, Brooklyn was raving mad when they reached the ice-rink later that morning. First the red-head reprimanded the boy for neglecting to practice the day before, shortly followed by a very strict instruction of what routine they were going to use to win the upcoming competition. Rei gulped as Brooklyn continued about a certain lift they were to do, Kai sitting next to him, listening carefully with a look of deepest concentration that he never showed in _any_ of his school, classes. _We’re not even on the ice yet,_ thought Rei, _what’s he gonna be like when Kai can’t skate on there by himself?!  
  
_ Hardly upset with Brooklyn’s failure to show him any sign of comfort, Kai seemed to be relieved and even _grateful_ with his behaviour. Kai left Rei’s side to fetch his skates, leaving Rei alone with Brooklyn, who was searching for Kym’s number on his phone, readying to beg her to return. “Sir?” asked Rei nervously, and Brooklyn looked down at him with a slight smile.  
“ _Sir?_ Rei just call me Brooklyn, ‘Sir’ is a title for my mother.” Rei frowned slightly with confusion, but nodded.  
“Brooklyn, I - aren’t you being a little…inconsiderate to Kai’s…situation?” Brooklyn looked at him for a moment before replying.  
“I know about the promise Kai made to Wyatt, Rei.” Rei’s eyes widened, _how the hell did he know that?_ “I was - shall we say, hovering in the door way for a moment. I came when there was no answer on your phone, I knew Kai would be there, but I did not expect to find what I did…” Rei lowered his eyes to the floor, realising the red-head partially meant Wyatt dying, partially meant _his_ presence at Kai’s side.  
  
“I know Kai very well, Rei. He would never forgive himself if he failed at this competition, especially after promising it to Wyatt. I know he is hurting right now, he is hurting more than you can imagine, but mollycoddling him won’t help him prepare to win this, and give the best performance he has ever done.” Rei looked at him with a look he couldn’t place himself. It was spoken like a true professional, and he was right of course, Kai needed to be encouraged and pushed to his limits right now, not fussed over and granted leniency. The raven-haired boy nodded.  
  
“It will be difficult…he has less than a month to learn how to push his grief aside so he can make that boy proud…” Rei frowned slightly.  
“Are you sure it’s healthy, for Kai to suppress such a powerful emotion?” asked Rei quietly, “when my father died, they took me to counselling to make sure I didn’t do such a thing.” Brooklyn smiled, obviously impressed with the Chinese boy’s concern for Kai.  
“Kai’s a very special and unique person, Rei,” he said softly, putting the phone on the side for a moment and sitting down next to him. “I’m sure by now you’ve guessed his life - his childhood isn’t exactly a fairytale?” Rei nodded.  
“There are things I know he keeps bottled up…things I think…are too horrible for him to admit even to himself,” muttered Rei. Brooklyn sat back slightly.  
“Precisely…but, it is these things that give Kai his - well, the fire that you see in his performances. His emotions are assets, but only when he uses them in the right way.”  
  
The red-head stood up then, and Rei watched as Kai came back towards them.  
“That’s what your there for him for, I suppose,” said Rei, and Brooklyn gave him a slight smile.  
“You’re a good kid, Rei,” he stated, before Kai stopped beside him, looking expectantly at Rei.  
“I’m-a-going,” Rei insisted with a slight laugh, getting to his feet. Rei stopped as Kai grabbed his wrist, speaking quietly so only he could hear.  
“You don’t have to do this okay? I realise your feelings about this, you don’t need to feel like you _have_ to just for me…” Rei merely smiled, and continued to walk towards the changing-rooms.  
  
Brooklyn noticed how Kai watched the smaller boy until he was out of sight, dialling the number of Kym’s manager absentmindedly.  
“I’m not criticising you…I can’t imagine what you’re going though but…it isn’t like you to be afraid of going back on, and I can’t help but think that-”  
“-You’re not wrong,” interrupted Kai, without looking at him, “you know me too well to think that I’d allow something as pathetic as _fear_ stop me from going back on…” Brooklyn abandoned the manager’s number once more, closing the flip-phone as he came to Kai’s side, putting a hand on his shoulder.  
“Not exaggerating with the ‘ _I laugh in the face of fear’_ crap either,” he said with a smile, “when you were ten you once came close to breaking every bone in your damn body out there, and you _begged_ me to let you go back on…your family didn’t raise no coward-”  
“-As you very well know, Brook, they didn’t raise me at all,” muttered Kai. The man watched him with a kind of pity, and understanding for a moment, squeezing his shoulder comfortingly.  
  
“So what is it? That made you pretend to Mr Kon that you’re scared about going back on?” Kai turned with a slightly mischievous smirk.  
“The bastard cares about me so damn much? Then how else can I get him to go back on the ice…” Brooklyn narrowed his eyes.  
“Sneaky…” teased Brooklyn, poking Kai in the shoulder.  
“Don’t be so childish…”  
“Kai, stop being so mature about everything, it’s boring,” said Brooklyn, patting Kai on the head, making the slate-haired boy scowl.  
“Never the hair…” he growled.  


 

***

Kai rested his arms on the edge of the rink as he waited for Rei’s return, partially doubting that it would ever come. He looked over his shoulder to see Brooklyn wandering about, talking on his mobile once more. The boy sighed, _Why am I suddenly thinking of Rei leaping out of a window to escape?_ He thought.  
  
“Err…Kai?” the boy turned to see Rei standing awkwardly behind him with his skates on. Kai smiled slightly.  
“Well at least you didn’t fall over getting here.” Rei narrowed his eyes.  
“Funny - not…”  
“Come on then,” said Kai skating onto the ice. Rei stood at the edge, watching him do a perfect circle before coming back to his side. No words exchanged, just awkward looks as Kai held out his hand to Rei.  
  
The raven-haired boy noticed Brooklyn was nowhere to be seen, and he brought his eyes back to rest on Kai once more. _I feel weird doing this…_ He thought, and half-heartedly, he took the older boy’s hand.  
  
Kai couldn’t help but let a small smile grace his features as he glided backwards, his hand drawing the raven-haired boy after him. Rei was surprised that he didn’t fall flat on his face, and then he was able to match Kai’s smooth movements at least to a certain level. Rei raised his eyes to see a look in Kai’s eyes that he couldn’t describe, but a light was shining in them as they met his, and he flushed as he gave him a smile.  
  
Slowly, Kai released his hand, leaving him standing in the middle of the rink as Kai skated over to the CD-player that Brooklyn had brought for practice. “K-Kai?” asked Rei warily, “What’re you doing?” Kai turned back to look at him with a raised eyebrow.  
“Well I don’t know about you, but I can’t practice without a rhythm to move to.” Rei nodded. _It’ll be a cold day in hell before I play the girl with him;_ he thought defiantly, _I’m not dancing with him!  
  
_ A very upbeat tune that Rei couldn’t recognize played, and he froze slightly as Kai skated back towards him.  
“What?” asked Rei dumbly as Kai stopped in front of him.  
“Want to help me warm up?” asked Kai. _NO!_ , screamed Rei’s thoughts indignantly, _and that sentence, so wrong on so many levels…’Help me warm up? I just **hope** he meant warm up for practice…  
  
_ “I don’t even know any moves Kai,” he replied, trying not to sound too eager to refuse. Kai smirked.  
“You don’t have to know any moves, dumb ass, what part of _warm up_ did you not understand?”  
“Oh,” muttered Rei, “right…” Nervously, the raven-haired boy took Kai’s hand just as the CD changed track. Golden eyes widened with surprise as Kai drew him back with him across the ice, pulling against his body in time with the music; Rei finding himself liking both. _Great,_ he thought, flushing as he felt himself press against Kai’s chest as he tried to keep up with him, _that’s the first sign, first we like the same music next minute I’ll be on my back… **Wait** don’t think that pervert!  
  
_ **‘Call it over, Call it gone, Call it laughing  
See what you’ve gone and done  
Call it stupid, Call it wrong, Call it reckless  
See what we’ve gone and done’  
  
** Rei was shocked to find that he didn’t trip and fall flat on his face, but also surprised that when Kai released his hand and skated across the ice, he was able to move smoothly after him and not fall behind. The scheming slate-haired boy gave an impressed look, but not letting the boy catch him, trying to build his confidence up and make him keep moving on his own.  
  
 **‘Who am I, to break this young girl’s heart?  
How the mighty rise and fall’  
  
** With a devious look, Kai leapt up from the ice doing a full turn in the air and landing back down on the opposite skate as the first note of the chorus hit.  
  
 **‘I will not be beaten  
You have yet to see me shining  
I won’t take this lying down’  
  
** The raven-haired boy felt a ping of fear in his heart, but determined not to be outdone, Rei kept with him until the next big note sounded and mimicked the movement.  
  
 **‘I will not be beaten  
You have yet to see me shining  
Shining, I won’t take this lying down’  
  
** He stumbled a little when he landed, but other wise he was fine, and his heart leapt at the fact that he’d done it so well considering… _No way has this guy just stepped onto the ice again after who knows how long, and pulled off that move almost flawlessly,_ thought Kai, managing not to show his state of awe, but only just, _the bastard’s a fast learner, I’ll give him that…Let’s see him pull this one off…  
  
_ **‘Call me Sunday, Call me soon  
Call me heartless; call me to your room  
Call me lonely, call me lame  
Call me blind and foolish just to  
Spare you from the blame’  
  
** Kai’s competitive side seemed to take over, and each move he made was more and more difficult, yet somehow he managed to make it work with and in time to the music. Before Rei’s very eyes the slate-haired boy had seemed to change, as he had before, only this time it wasn’t from being a bastard to nice, it was something completely different.  
  
Rei stumbled again as he came out of a move, and his eyes widened as he saw Kai beckoning him over to him, his hand outstretched to him. Warily the smaller boy glided over, trying to keep to the music, taking that hand. He found himself being spun into those arms which he now noticed were characterized with well-built muscles that made him feel even more girly. His back pulled against the slate-haired boy’s chest, hot breath whispering something in his ear.  
  
 **‘Who am I, to break this young girl’s heart?  
How the mighty rise and fall’  
  
** Rei felt himself being swept off his feet, literally, as when the next chorus hit, he was pulled up against that chest, his legs held gracefully off the ground, Kai continuing to move.  
  
 **‘I will not be beaten  
You have yet to see me shining  
I won’t take this lying down’  
  
** Rei flushed at his next thought, _I feel like some fluttering schoolgirl! The damn bastard’s doing exactly what I wanted to avoid! I may be gay but who says I’m the ‘camp’ one?!_ The taller boy spun him away from his chest, releasing his hand. As Kai glided backwards, Rei motioned to mimic the movement, doing as the hot whisper had told him, and keeping with the older boy.  
  
 **‘I will not be beaten  
You have yet to see me shining  
I won’t take this lying down’  
  
** Kai made a small spin, coming back to land on the inside edge of his skate and making a curved movement across the ice, Rei managing to do the same. As the final chorus sounded from the CD-player, Kai snatched the raven-haired boy’s hand and did the same movement as before, pulling the smaller frame into his arms and against his chest, though this time so that Rei’s chest was against his.  
  
 **‘I will not be beaten**  
You have yet to see me shining  
I won’t take this lying down’  
  
Rei flushed at the tingling sensations the slate-haired boy’s rapid breaths on his face caused, and as the final sounds of the song died away, Rei felt the taller boy draw him in closer as Kai arched him back. Compelled towards him like he was magnetically attracted, Rei found himself moving towards Kai in an almost kiss, their lips just skimming each other’s, unstable breathing and a similar understanding that they both wanted what was about to happen. Rei’s cheeks flushed and Kai watched his tongue dart out to wet his lips, before they moved in to span the slither of a gap that remained between them.  
  
“Kai!” the two leapt apart at the upbeat and cheerful voice of that damn red-head, who to their absolute horror was clapping. Kai released Rei, steadying him on his feet and then scratching the back of his head, fighting an embarrassed blush.  
“So, err…did you get through to Kym?” he asked randomly. Brooklyn nodded.  
“Yeah, I used all of my irresistible charms to call her back to us, if only for this final performance,” Rei noticed Kai rolled his eyes at the words _‘irresistible charm’_ and he smiled slightly.  
  
“And our wonderful Kym said - wait what was it…?” Kai rolled his eyes again, tired of his guardian’s sarcasm and immaturity. “Oh, yes, she said tell Kai to stick your contract up your tweedy ass, stop hiding being my _frilly knickers_ and beg for her to come back yourself.” Kai remained un-phased, but Rei raised an eyebrow at the remark.  
“I have a _tweedy ass_? What’s that supposed to mean? How can that possibly work?” asked Kai, “last time I checked my ass wasn’t made of tweed…”  
“Ah, but it can also mean that your ass shows a liking for the attitudes and outdoor lifestyle traditionally associated with the upper classes,” said Brooklyn matter-of-factly, looking very proud of himself. Rei and Kai looked lost. “Oh, it’s another meaning for tweedy,” he added on seeing their faces. Kai snorted.  
  
“Why sometimes do I feel you talk from a dictionary?” he asked. Brooklyn smiled.  
“That’s my bedtime story; I read it every night so that I make sure I have a higher vocabulary than you.”  
“I hope you’re joking,” replied Kai, skating over to the rink’s edge and drinking out of his bottle of water.  
“Maybe, maybe not,” said Brooklyn childishly, beaming. “But you are a college student now, and I can’t have you getting smarter than me now can I?” Kai looked at him in disbelief.  
“I’m already smarter than you, idiot…” Rei smiled slightly at Kai’s attitude, and skated over to take a seat and rest a moment.  
“I notice you didn’t deny the frilly knickers comment though Brook?” Brooklyn smiled.  
“Oh well, no denial there, they were a gift from Zeo.” He knew it would sicken Kai to his very soul, and it did, and it showed on his disgusted face.  
  
Kai sat down too, continuing to refuel himself. “I suppose I’d better get on the phone to the old hag and start begging, huh?” he asked Brooklyn between mouthfuls. Brooklyn looked at him a second and then smiled again.  
“I see no cause for that.” Kai stopped a moment, and looked at him.  
“What do you mean? You said it yourself, it takes a long time to build chemistry like that, and we can’t afford two years off to train someone,” he argued, drinking again.  
“Yes, but your practice a moment ago inspired me to my new idea.” Kai said nothing, not looking remotely interested. “How’s about we enter Rei in the competition as your partner instead?”  
  
Kai spat choked on the water he was drinking as a result of his shock, and he looked up at Brooklyn with confusion.  
“What?”  
“I saw how fast he picked up what you were doing out there, and how he managed to follow your every move. He has a talent you can’t deny it.” Kai said nothing, and Rei still looked dumbstruck at the suggestion. _Me? Is he fucking mental?  
  
_ “Brook, I don’t deny he has a certain finesse, but in case you haven’t noticed, he’s a _guy_!” Brooklyn shrugged.  
“So?”  
“ _So?_ ” repeated Kai, “two guys can’t enter a competition!”  
“Well we don’t have to tell anyone he’s a guy,” said Brooklyn. Kai looked mystified.  
“Oh, I think they’ll notice.” Rei felt a little annoyed with the way Brooklyn now looked at him, as a matter to say: _no, they really won’t…  
  
_ “Kym thought he was a girl.”  
“In case you haven’t noticed, Kym is a particularly hideous breed of idiot,” argued Kai.  
“Come on, put him in a skimpy outfit, do his hair and put make-up on him - no one will know the difference!” Kai stood up now, though Rei was still upset with the suggestion. _Make-up? Hair? They’re gonna dress me like a fucking girl on national television? Oh if Tala and Tyson saw that they’d never let me live it down…  
  
_ “We don’t have to tell them his name; we could make him an anonymous entry.” Kai still said nothing. “Come on Kai, if you could have seen the both of you out there, there was a bond between the both of you that is uncommon in this business - that’s what alot of judges mark on.” Kai didn’t like the overeager sound to his trainer’s voice, and even more so, the sense he was making.  
  
“Kai, this was important to Wyatt, who would you rather place this responsibility on, a girl you hate, or someone you can trust?” Kai said nothing. As if abandoning Kai’s opinion, the red-head looked to Rei, who jumped at the sudden attention. “Rei?” Rei thought for a moment before replying.  
“This is the first time in three-and-a-half years that I’ve skated…I can’t pull off the flashy moves you need, and I lack a certain confidence and flair that Kai has…” Kai looked at him then, as he continued. “I’m not going to lie to you…I don’t think I can pull it off…but if you want me to…I’ll try…”  
  
Brooklyn smiled triumphantly, returning his gaze to Kai once more.  
“Kai, come on…”  
“You heard him; he said he can’t do it. If he doesn’t even have the confidence-”  
“But he has the nerve to try, which is more than you have,” interrupted Brooklyn, “confidence, that’s something we can build, a bond like the two of you have, whether you notice it or not, that’s something that can’t just be created…” A small silence then fell. “Kai, this is for Wyatt? Well what would Wyatt have wanted?”  
  
Rei said nothing. If Kai said yes, and he failed, at least he couldn’t be accused of assuring their success. He didn’t know what Kai thought or felt, but he’d never felt as alive as he’d done on the ice with him, and his heart had never leapt as it did when Kai had pulled him against his chest. It was as if his life had been thrown into a totally new perspective, a perspective he hadn’t had since before his father died. _I want this,_ he thought, _to do what Kai does, is what makes me feel alive, and that’s what my dad would have wanted…_  
  
The raven-haired boy and Brooklyn watched Kai, waiting for an answer, the tension building in the atmosphere around them. For a brief moment, Kai’s and Rei’s eyes locked, the slate-haired boy reflecting on all the reasons why he should, and all the reason’s why they shouldn’t. Kai met Brooklyn’s eyes suddenly, the silence stagnant between the three.  
“I’ll do it…”  
  
  
TBC

* * *

Song "Shining" by Kristian Leontiou - not mine.


	12. And So The Plot Thickens

_And So The Plot Thickens  
~Twelve~  
  
  
  
_ Rei was speechless, and found it beyond strange that his heart actually lifted with Kai’s answer. Lying on his bed that evening, his head resting on his palm with his elbow propped under him, Rei was fighting to stay awake long enough to finish his English assignments. _He sure has been in there a long time,_ thought the raven-haired boy, casting a glance over towards the bathroom door, once again losing his concentration on his English paper. _I’ve never known a guy that can spend so much time in the bathroom! Mind you he has enough shampoo, he must use a bit of each one,_ he thought with a grin, _the pansy loves his hair_. After another moment of thought he grinned dirtily. _What am I thinking? He’s probably just jerking off…relieving some of the ‘sexual tension’…  
  
_ No sooner had this thought crossed his mind, than the bathroom door opened. “Out so soon?” he asked sarcastically. Kai sneered at him, and continued getting changed. Rei looked up from his book just as Kai dropped the towel, and he flushed furiously. _Excellent timing Rei, as ever…_ Kai grinned slightly, catching the boy looking.  
“Peeping-tom,” he said quietly, and Rei blushed darker.  
“Well get changed in the bathroom then and not right in front of me, fucking hell you were in there long enough!” he yelled, more to cover up his embarrassment than anything else.  
“Shut up…” Kai said casually, pulling on his boxers, “you’re such a hypocrite. You mouth off at me, saying I’m homophobic, but you can’t even stand me getting changed or peeing in the same room as you.” Rei dropped the book completely now, Kai was trying to piss him off on purpose, and it was working!  
  
“How can I be homophobic when _everyone_ I hang out with is gay?”  
“That’s not exactly your choice though, is it? No one else has offered to hang out with you-”  
“-Shut up! Why are you being such a bastard all of a sudden?” he asked, Kai didn’t reply. “I’ve done nothing but throw my life into a complete turmoil! I’m putting my life on the line to help you with this competition coming up, and I’ve done nothing but support you since Wyatt-”  
  
Rei was cut off as Kai surged forwards, seizing him by the throat. The smaller boy’s head slammed against the headboard, and he winced in pain as Kai’s grip tightened around his windpipe. “K-K…Kai?” he choked.  
“Don’t,” said Kai dangerously. “Don’t say his name…and don’t try and force me on a guilt trip…I never asked for your sympathy…” Rei winced, sinking his fingernails into Kai’s wrists to try and get him off, but he failed.  
“K-Kai - Can’t - Breathe!”  
“Don’t fuck with me Kon,” Kai breathed on him, and Rei flinched at the increased pressure on his throat, “or I’ll fucking tear you apart…” Rei smacked Kai in the mouth as hard as he could. Kai tumbled backwards off the bed, taking Rei with him.  
  
Rei opened his eyes as Kai released his hold on his throat, and flushed when he realised he had landed - straddled across Kai’s hips. “Making a bold move being on top, aren’t we?” breathed Kai, his face inches from Rei’s. Rei struggled, Kai snatching his wrists, pulling Rei down against him even more.  
“What the hell are you doing?” asked Rei, blushing darker. Kai didn’t answer and Rei made a move to wrench himself out of Kai’s grip. The slate-haired boy locked his free hand on Rei’s hips, and he saw the look in Kai’s eyes change from anger, to something he liked even less…  
  
The raven-haired boy couldn’t stop a guttural moan from sounding from his mouth, as Kai grinded his hips upwards. “S-stop it!” gasped Rei.  
“You fucking fag, you’re enjoying this aren’t you?” whispered Kai. Rei shuddered.  
“W-what the hell are you doing then? You bastard…” Kai pulled him down so that their noses touched, and Rei gulped.  
“Excuse me? Who is the virgin here?” Rei flushed a violent red, and struggled to be free once more.  
“Piss off you bastard, how do you know that? You don’t know that?!”  
“It interests me to know…” Kai breathed in his ear, completely ignoring Rei’s hastily asked question. “Did they keep you in a glass box where you came from? I don’t think I know any eighteen-year-old guys who’re virgins-”  
“-Shut up!” shouted Rei, “it has nothing to do with-” he was cut off as Kai arced his hips upwards once more.  
  
Suddenly Kai shoved him back roughly, pushing him off him. “Why? Why do you have to do that? As soon as I feel like I’m getting somewhere with you, you pull something like this!” Kai said nothing in reply, not even looking at him. Rei watched him for a minute, as though waiting for him to justify himself, but he didn’t. Clasping his throat, the pain only just becoming apparent to him, Rei got to his feet, slamming the door behind him as he marched out of the dorm, leaving Kai alone.  


***

Zeo sneered at the masses of insanely patterned underwear cascading off of the furniture and spread out over the floor.  
“Dammit Tyson!” he yelled, “If it isn’t your drugs it’s your underwear - Just clear up your crap!” Tyson grinned goofily, looking up from the magazine he was examining.  
“Nah, you’re doing a great job ‘Z’,” he replied carelessly, propping his feet up leisurely.  
  
“There’s nowhere to fucking sit! I thought you were gonna tidy up while I was at class?” Tyson looked around him as if hurt.  
“I _did_ tidy up,” Zeo snorted, seizing a pair of kitchen tongs. “What’re ya gonna do with those?” the bluenette asked with a filthy grin. Zeo narrowed his eyes.  
“You’re a pervert - it’s not what you think.”  
“Really?” asked Tyson doubtfully.  
“Well I ain’t touching the underwear!” he yelled, using the tongs to pick up the discarded garments and dropping them into the laundry basket. “It’s got your butt-germs on!”  
“But you wash my bed sheets, and they’ve got something - oh, _so_ much worse on.” Zeo shivered with disgust.  
“Don’t tell me I’ve been washing your and Max’s _spendings_? And touching them and - icky stuff?!” Tyson grinned.  
“Okay, I _won’t_ tell you.”  
  
A small silence followed in which Zeo stared at his hands in horror. “What’re you cleaning for anyway? _‘Brookie the Cradle robbing pervert’_ coming by?”  
“Yes, _Brooklyn_ is coming tomorrow. Yes, the evening will be romantic and contain adult scenes. Yes, you _will_ be elsewhere so you can fuck off to Max’s, got it?”  
“Embarrassed to be seen with me?”  
“In a word - Yes! _Washing hands…washing hands…”  
  
_ Zeo gave another disgusted look, just before a soft knocking sounded at the door. The green-haired boy opened the door to see Rei standing there. “Come in Rei,” he said hurriedly, rushing into the bathroom. “ _Washing hands…washing hands…_ ” he repeated under his breath. Tyson looked up and smiled warmly.  
“Hey buddy,” the desolate look on the raven-haired boy’s face made him get to his feet. “What’s wrong?”  
  
 _“Washing hands…washing hands…”  
  
_ “He’s a bastard…an absolute bastard…”  
“Who? Kai?” asked Tyson, Rei nodded.  
“How ever did you guess?” came Zeo’s distant, sarcastic voice from the bathroom.  
“Well yeah, who else? Aren’t you supposed to be sterilizing yourself?” replied Tyson, motioning for Rei to take a seat.  
“Oh, yeah… _washing hands…washing hands…”  
  
_ “Look Rei, you can’t let him get to you so easily-”  
“I’m trying okay? He’s just…I just don’t get him…” Tyson patted him on the back softly.  
“Hey, love’s a bitch.” Rei leapt up.  
“I don’t love Kai!” he yelled indignantly.  
“Oh, but you do,” teased Tyson. Rei sneered.  
“Ty-”  
“-Okay, okay, stopping now…” a short pause, in which Tyson looked as if he was dying to let out: _“Rei and Kai, sitting in a tree,”_ or something like that.  
  
“ _Washing hands…washing hands…”  
  
_ “One minute he’s so nice and-”  
“-Kai? Nice? Feh!” Rei smiled slightly.  
“I tried really hard to be there for him when-” he cut off when he realised what he nearly said.  
“When what?” asked Tyson.  
“Nothing, I just - we were getting along, really well.”  
“How well? Like ‘ _Stepford’_ well?”  
“But then, I don’t know…he just, sort of attacked me, _again_ , and…”  
“What?” asked Tyson, Rei falling silent; not really knowing how the bluenette would react to Kai’s _teasing_ him. “Rei?”  
  
“What’s the bastard gone and done now?” asked Zeo, emerging from the bathroom.  
“Kai just - upset me…” he mumbled, saying the last part as if he were a meek schoolgirl.  
“Upset you how?” asked Zeo.  
“He… _teased_ me…” Zeo raised an eyebrow.  
“ _Teased_ you? What are you, six?” asked Tyson.  
“Oh, very tactful Ty,” snapped Zeo, pushing the bluenette off the couch and sitting beside Rei. “You didn’t mean _teased_ as in: ‘the bigger boy round the corner yanked your underwear up over your ears and laughed’ _teased_ , do you?” asked Zeo understandingly. Rei shook his head. “What happened?”  
  
“The first time he…it was when you and Tala came. That’s why I was in the bathroom.”  
“I know that part, Kev told me, but…this is the second time?”  
“We were fighting at first, he had me by the throat-“  
“-Fine line between love and hate.”  
“Tyson, SHUT UP!” yelled Zeo, appalled what his friend’s behaviour when Rei was so upset.  
“…But when I kicked him off, I kinda, fell with him, and…I ended up on top of him. But he wouldn’t let me go and he kept…” the raven-haired boy trailed off, and Zeo pulled his arm round him.  
“It’s okay, Kai’s a little hard to understand is all…he’s been through a lot.”  
“I know, I do, but…I’m trying to help him, I’ve done nothing but support him and then all of a sudden he just…”  
  
“Hey,” said Zeo with a smile. “You can stay here the night if you want.” Rei smiled but shook his head.  
“Nah, but would it be okay if I just hung out here for a while. That way the bastard will be in bed when I get back.” Tyson jumped up and sat on the couch beside them.  
“Sure, you can watch sitcoms with me while Zeo clears up,” said Tyson brightly, waving his hand for Zeo to depart. The green-haired boy threw him an angered look.  
“You are so lucky I’ve now got a phobia of touching you,” he said dangerously. Tyson smiled.  
“Got my _ejaculation_ off yourself yet?” he asked. Zeo cringed, looking at his hands as if he were a murderer that had blood on them.  
“I’m _never_ going to stop washing my hands…”  


***

Rei held his breath as he opened the door to his and Kai’s bedroom, not wanting to wake up his roommate, for obvious reasons. The room was pitch black, and he only hoped he wouldn’t trip over something and make a noise. Silently he tiptoed across the room, finally reaching where he guessed the end of his bed was. Suddenly something seized him by the ankles, sending him flying backwards. Thankfully, the bed was behind him. Crawling backwards up the bed he fumbled around in the dark, before finally flicking the light switch with his fingers.  
  
“Kai you bastard! What’re you-” he cut off as the taller boy crawled up his body so they were face to face.  
“Where the fuck were you?”  
“I was - it’s none of your business!” he snapped, suddenly remembering why he was angry with him. “Now get off me!” Rei yelped as Kai grabbed his wrists, holding them over his head; the raven-haired boy’s eyes widened as he remembered exactly what happened last time they were in this position.  
“Why the struggle my little virgin?” he breathed in is ear, making the raven-haired boy’s face flush. “Isn’t this exactly what you wanted?” In all truth, Rei didn’t know the answer to that question himself! Part of him wanted to answer, ‘yes’, but another part was screaming to get Kai off him, the lust-filled eyes mentally undressing him sending a shiver down his spine.  
  
Kai smirked almost evilly, running his hands up the smooth expanse of Rei’s chest, lifting the shirt up with it.  
“Kai…? W-why are you doing this?” he asked shakily as those wandering hands tracing his lean body, Kai leaning down, placing him with rough nips and licks. Kai answered by flicking his tongue leisurely over a nipple, capturing one of the pink nubs between his teeth and biting down gently. Rei arched into the taller boy’s hips unintentionally, whimpering into the sensation. Kai smirked against the skin.  
  
“You whore…” Kai said softly. _Maybe if you didn’t insult me I’d be in the mood you bastard…Wait…What am I thinking!_ Rei’s eyes snapped open at his thoughts.  
“Kai!” he gasped as the rough caresses continued down his sternum, and he felt Kai yanking his jeans off him, bringing his boxers with them. “Don’t Kai…please just-” Kai cut him off, probing the trail of skin that is fingers had followed once before, down from his navel to his pubic bone.  
“I don’t think I asked for your permission, did I Rei?” Kai breathed, licking the delicate curve of the smaller boy’s ear.  
“K-Kai! Stop it!” Kai smirked, ignoring Rei’s half-hearted pleas. The slate-haired boy continued the trek from the shuddering boy’s navel, passing to exposed, virgin flesh. “N-No! Kai - Ah!” Rei threw his head back, only praying the neighbours didn’t hear him.  
  
 **(WARNING!!!! LIME CONTENT HERE, NOT FULL-OUT LEMON BUT SOME SMUTTY-NESS. IF YOU DON'T READ THOUGH, PLEASE ACKNOWLEDGE THAT IT'S HAPPENED AS IT WILL BE REFERRED TO IN LATER CHAPTERS - READ ON 'TIL THE NEXT WARNING!)  
  
** The crimson eyes of a Predator looked up to see Rei’s cheeks coloured with a dark blush, breathing feverishly as he tried desperately to keep quiet; and even more desperately to look as if he wasn’t enjoying it. “No, Kai - I - don’t - want-” his words broke off into a moan as Kai brushed the tip of his tongue over the head of his already erect organ, picking up the taste of the virtuous flesh.  
“But it looks to me like you’re enjoying yourself,” he replied, hot breath steaming over the sensitive skin, making Rei toss his head to the side, his moan muffled by the pillow.  
  
At the utterance, Kai leant up so his face was inches away from that of the flustered boy’s. Kai run his free hand over Rei’s cheek, turning the boy’s face to him, his left hand stroking the insides of his thigh slowly. “You’re so gorgeous when you’re all flustered like this,” he whispered, Rei uncomfortable of how closely he was being watched, that hand moving ever closer to areas he’d rather Kai kept away from. His defences were paper thin around Kai, and he couldn’t trust himself to not act like a frightened little girl. “I think I want to keep you like this all the time. This meek, submissive Rei is so much better than that argumentative faggot…”  
  
Rei’s eyes shot open.  
“Say’s the guy with his hands around my dick!” he exclaimed, not able to hide the obvious want in his voice. Kai crushed his lips over the smaller boy’s defiantly as if to argue his point.  
  
Rei pulled away from the kiss suddenly, Kai tracing the vein on the underside of the organ, a loud groan ripping from his throat.  
“And you say I’m the gay one?” he mumbled, out of breath.  
“Shut up,” muttered Kai, Rei retreating into the pillows once more to silence his cries, Kai’s hand jerking on his cock in the wildest manner.  
“Nnh!” gasped Rei, Kai turning his face back to him. Rei whimpered in protest, not liking Kai in such close proximity to his face right now.  
“Look, you’re leaking in my hand, want me to taste you Rei?” he asked seductively, only provoking Rei more. “Rei?” he repeated, freehand stroking the boy’s thighs, trying to drive the impudence of Rei’s request out of him. “Say it Rei,” he said, pumping the boy harder. Rei shook his head in reply, not sure if he wanted it or not, everything was confusing, especially with the unbearable heat pooling in is groin.  
  
Not taking any notice of the boy’s reply, Kai lowered his mouth to Rei’s lap, torturing the raven-haired boy with expert touches of his tongue. Enough to make the boy make a sound of negation when he stopped, and make him desire more.  
“Kai, I-” he cut off, inhaling raggedly as Kai took the boy deep into his throat. Rei’s hand curled to his chest, the other half-heartedly trying to push Kai away. Rei couldn’t suppress a moan, feeling himself near his climax, Kai bobbing his head over the erection. _I don’t understand,_ thought Rei, _I thought he hated me, the way he snaps at me?_ Kai’s fingers brushed feather-light over his entrance. “Kai - what’re you-” Kai brought his mouth hard down once more, before pulling away, Rei spilling his essence onto both their stomachs.  
  
Recovering from his orgasm, Rei fought to get his breath back, Kai watching him still, making him feel awkward. Rei yelped as he found himself on his elbows and knees, Kai hovering behind him. “Kai? What’re you doing?” he panicked. The skate-haired boy raised Rei’s ass a little more, sliding a finger into the entrance, making Rei cry out. “Kai stop it!” he pleaded. Kai ignored him, adding a second finger and stretching him. “Kai it hurts, stop!”  
“Why?” asked Kai, still continuing.  
“Please Kai…”  
“What?” he asked, and Rei flinched in pain as those fingers slowly scissored him.  
  
 **(WARNING OVER - SORRY THERE'S NOT MUCH LEFT NOW BUT YOU MIGHT AS WELL READ THE LAST PARAGRAPH.)**  
  
“I don’t want my first time to be like this!” he screamed, and Kai smirked, withdrawing his fingers. The taller boy leant forward, planting a kiss on Rei’s back.  
“Isn’t it so much better being honest, Kitten?” he asked, getting off Rei’s bed and disappearing into the bathroom.  
“What the fuck was that?” he asked himself quietly. “Did…did Kai just try to…?” _Did he do all that just to hear me admit that?_ After a moment, Rei heard Kai coming back from the bathroom, and he quickly flicked the switch, pulling the covers over his half-naked form, pretending he was asleep. _I just don’t understand him…_  
  
  
TBC


	13. The Preparation ~Hallucination~

_The Preparation ~Hallucination~  
~Thirteen~  
  
  
  
_ Rei groaned as the warm water splashed over his face. He paused, hands resting either side of the sink, his head hanging low, trying to force last night’s events out of his mind. “That bastard…” he said under his breath. “Why’s he always got to fuck up my head?”  
“Rei? Rei are you in there?” Rei straightened up at the voice and the knocking on the bathroom door. It wasn’t Kai’s voice. Rei opened the door, receiving a smile off of the bubbly red-head. “Hey Rei, are you almost ready to go?” Rei raised and eyebrow.  
“Brooklyn? What do you mean?” the raven-haired boy cast a glance over to Kai who was ready and dressed, leaning against the wall.  
“Practice? Remember?” Rei’s eyes rested on Kai once more, arms folded stubbornly over his chest, eyes closed. _Screw that, how am I supposed to practice with him when only a few hours ago he molested me?_ “Rei?”  
“Well – you see, about that…” Rei trailed off, not knowing what to say.  
  
Finally Kai opened his eyes, meeting Rei’s at last.  
“He needs a few more minutes Brook,” said Kai, and Brooklyn nodded.  
“I’ll be waiting in the car then, don’t take too long.” As the red-head disappeared through the door, Rei glared at Kai.  
“How dare you expect me to still do this for you after last night?” he whispered angrily.  
“You want this for yourself as much as for me.”  
“What are you talking about?”  
“You want to do this, so why should I apologize for something you obviously enjoyed?” the taller boy muttered calmly. Rei flushed, not knowing whether it was because of anger or of embarrassment.  
“You’re awful self-assured, what makes you think that I was enjoying that?” Kai rolled his eyes.  
“If the soiled bed sheets aren’t enough proof the neighbours came round while you were fixing your hair to complain about the _noise_ coming from our room last night. Rei flushed.  
“Who was it that came round?” asked Rei, half not wanting to know. Kai smirked.  
“Erika…” Rei’s eyes widened.  
“Great, the college gossip-monger? Fucking fantastic, let the rumours fly!” Rei sighed, saying the last part as if he were the witch in the _Wizard of Oz_.  
“See, so now I have ear-witnesses, will you put a shirt on and hurry up?” Rei scowled at him.  
“No. How did you get off calling me gay when you came onto me?” Kai smirked again.  
“Actually, you _came_ onto me…” Rei half sneered, half smiled.  
“You sicko…”  
  
Deciding there were more important things than Kai’s apology, (which he obviously wasn’t going to get) Rei realised that he’d not only be letting Brooklyn down too, but himself. He’d never quit anything so easily in his life and he wasn’t going to start now. Hastily getting changed, he noticed that as usual, those crimson eyes were watching his every move. “Take a picture it’ll last longer,” he said, pulling on a shirt. A smile twitched at the slate-haired boy’s lips, impressed with how quickly Rei had learnt to bounce back into a light mood after one of what Zeo and Tala had _affectionately_ named, Kai’s ‘Bastard phases’. _His emotions are so changeable; I just wish I knew why._ “What?” Rei asked eventually getting impatient with the staring.  
“If anything, you should apologize to _me_.”  
“For what?” asked Rei, completely bemused.  
“For coming all over me.” Rei snorted.  
“Feh, so sorry I’ll work on my aim,” he mumbled sarcastically.  


***

Rei winced as his ass slammed hard into a collision with the ice once more.  
“It’s no good Rei; you have to have more confidence with your jumps, they need to be higher." The raven-haired boy winced, _I’m falling ass-over-tip as it is, if I jump any higher I’ll split my fucking head open!_ Least to say he wasn’t taking Brooklyn’s critics well, but he couldn’t try any harder.  
“I just can’t do it,” concluded Rei, stumbling to his feet for the seventeenth time in one hour.  
“Listen Rei, let’s go over it one more time, okay?” said Brooklyn optimistically.  
  
He called Kai over to him, and mimicked the movements with Kai (who looked thoroughly un-amused about that), whilst explaining them. “So you mimic Kai’s movements, except on the opposite side of the ice to him, and then you skate to him, keeping with the music, take Kai’s hand, he spins you into his arms, lifting you up slightly, then throws you-” _Excuse me did I hear that correct? He throws me! Are you having a fecking giggle?! That bastard will throw me out the window and across half the bloody continent!  
_ “-and you do a triple spin in the air, before coming back down.” Kai pulled away from Brooklyn’s hand. “And remember to keep your legs tidy okay? Think of this part like a 'Lutz' movement, when Kai lifts you up it should be from the back edge of your left skate, and when you land, you’ll land on the back edge of the opposite skate, got that?” Rei nodded. _Sure, if my name’s Kai, but wait, I’m not Kai am I? (thank god…)  
  
_ “Okay, are we gonna go again?” Rei nodded, mentally moaning with negation. _Yay, time for Kai to throw me on my ass again._ Brooklyn switched the music on from the part they were to start from, and Rei tried the move again. He skated to Kai, but the taller boy clicked his tongue impatiently, throwing him away from him. Rei growled with annoyance as he landed on his backside.  
“Dammit Kai, what the hell was that for?!” Kai sneered at Rei’s raised voice.  
“You came at me from the wrong side, and you’re supposed to be perfectly vertically aligned with me, not in front of me.” Rei got up again.  
“Sorry for not being perfect!”  
“I’d settle for you being able to do it at least marginally, but you’re absolute rubbish!”  
“BOYS!” yelled Brooklyn, stopping the CD. “Again!” Rei winced, his butt was going to be black-and-blue by this evening.  
  
An hour, many bruises, lots of raised voices and failed attempts later, Rei succeeded, he stumbled slightly coming out but otherwise it was perfect, according to Brooklyn, Kai still looked a little put out, however.  
“Well done Rei, okay, take five and we’ll be trying the 'Axel' next okay?” Not waiting for a response, Brooklyn marched out of sight, leaving the two alone together, which was _never_ a good thing.  
  
Rei watched Kai from the corner of his eye as they both took large gulps of water from their water bottles. _What’s with this guy? I’ve been busting my butt, literally for the last five and a half hours and he can’t even give me a ‘Well done Rei,' or a “That was good.’ I’d even settle for a ‘Hn’!_ Eventually the silence grew stagnant, and he couldn’t take it anymore.  
“Okay Kai, what the heck is wrong?” Kai casually looked at him with an expressionless face.  
“What do you mean?”  
“Don’t play stupid, I’m too tired to deal with it! Why won’t you even complement me when I get things right?!” Kai sneered slightly.  
“You think I’m as easy as Brooklyn?” he asked, Rei remained silent, “You’re gonna have to _work_ for my approval, it isn’t that easy to get.” _What a bastard, I **have** been working!_ “You won’t get my complements until you’re perfect or better, so pick up the pace, slacker.”  
  
 _One, two, three,_ Rei mentally counted to ten slowly, trying to harness his rage as Kai walked away from him. _Sleep with one eye open Hiwatari…  
  
_ It was Kai’s patience however, after a few goes at the next parts of the sequences, that was tested, and after another two trying hours of practice he snapped. “Rei what the hell are you doing!” he exclaimed, Brooklyn even caught off guard with the sudden screaming.  
“I’m trying okay, I just…”  
“What?” asked Kai, trying to push the harshness out of his voice. He knew Rei was trying, but his approval was hard to get and it was as simple as that. If it was something that Rei that desperately wanted, then he’d work all the harder for it, and appreciate it more when it came. But right now, he could tell the boy was close to snapping.  
  
“I don’t think I can do this…Brooklyn won’t even teach me any of the more complex movements yet.”  
“You may think if we can pull off some flashy moves and get them to go in time to some up beat music we’ll be set for winning, but you’re wrong. In fact, points are given more to the factors such as timing, the way you move, how you come in and out of stunts, the way you hold yourself when you move across the ice.”  
“I’m not saying that…I just, it seems like you don’t trust me to be able to pull off these moves. I am a novice but-”  
“I can’t let you attempt moves that I can see you are scared of doing.”  
“I’m not scared!”  
“Listen…I could really hurt you in these moves if I don’t do it right. But even if I do it right, if you panic during the move, like one where you’re balanced with me, then you could hurt us both.”  
  
 _Is this supposed to be making me feel better because it’s **not** ya know?_  
  
“But even knowing that, you have to trust in me, okay?”  
  
 _Easier said than done…_  
  
“You have to trust that when you’re on the ice I’ve got your back if you mess up, and if you’re performing a trick I’m not gonna let you fall.” Rei felt an oddly, warm sensation fill him up, staring at his toes and rising up to the very tips of his hair. _When all is said and done, I know he’s Satan, and I shouldn’t hold out any hope for him liking me, but…was that just_ **support** coming from Kai’s mouth as opposed to **crap**?  
  


***

Rei didn’t manage to escape practice until around seven that evening, which was late considering they’d started so early. In truth all he wanted was to go home and sleep, but when he got there, there were twelve messages on the answer machine from Tala, Zeo and the others, making him feel guilty. So here he was, ascending the stairs of Kevin’s and Max’s dorm. _Oh my bed, how I miss thee,_ he groaned mentally, though partially glad of the brief escape from Kai, one more minute with the boy and he was gonna explode!  
  
He knocked on the oak door, hearing Max bouncing across the floor to let him in.  
“Hey Rei!” he squealed, “you came, you came!” _All over Kai’s stomach and mine last night, wait, what am I thinking?!_  
“Hey Max, sorry I’m late, haven’t missed anything have I?” Max smiled.  
“Nah, just Tyson insisting that when he looked out the window he saw a beer doing the cancan.” Rei raised an eyebrow.  
“Lover stoned again Maxie?” he asked playfully, and Max cocked his head slightly with that usual goofy smile.  
“Yep, Yep! Stoned as a boulder in the Grand Canyon, come on in!” Rei ignored what he’d said, and smiled as he saw Tala and Kevin wrapped in each other’s arms on the couch, evidently watching the movie and ignoring Tyson rocking back and forth on the floor at their feet.  
  
“Heya Rei,” said Kevin, who shuffled up against Tala some more so that there was room for him to sit. “What took ya so long?” Rei smiled.  
“Nothing much.”  
“Kai playing _Doctor_ with ya?” asked Tala, a filthy grin plastered across his face.  
“You pervert,” said Rei, taking a seat next to Kevin.  
“‘Tis my job my friend, to take of the piss and defend of the homosexuals.” Kevin rolled his eyes.  
“Looks like Tyson isn’t the only one stoned,” muttered Rei as Max resumed his seat next to his ‘out of it’ boyfriend.  
“No,” sighed Kevin, glancing over at his lover, “he’s usually like this.”  
  
The gang passed the time watching _Scream 3_ and _American Pie_ , (to which they all mouthed along with the words to), making quips about Zeo and Brooklyn going the third round with each other by now, and braiding the spaced out Tyson’s hair without his knowledge. They’d just watched about halfway through _Bring It On_ (which no one owned up to owning) _,_ when Tyson started scaring them.  
  
Max noticed out the corner of his eye, Tyson’s vague, dreamy expression suddenly snapped into one of slight alarm and interest, his mahogany eyes wide and staring at the TV, or at least, in that general area.  
“Err, Tys-”  
“Shhhh!” hushed Tyson, “you’ll scare it.” Max looked up to the three on the couch, just as freaked out as he was.  
“Shall I ask?” asked Kevin.  
“If you don’t I will,” replied Max.  
“Ty, wanna explain your over freakishness?” asked Kevin, leaning over him slightly. Tyson didn’t tear his eyes away from the direction of the Television. It was just as the skimpily clad cheerleaders were prancing across the screen, so were he straight it would have been explained; however, since he was gay, they were extra freaked.  
“What’s up Tyson?” asked Tala, “I thought _girly parts_ scared you.” Tyson held his finger over his lips.  
“Hush, don’t scare him away.” The other’s shared a look.  
  
“Err, Ty? You’re kinda scaring us,” said Max worriedly as his boyfriend approached the TV on his hands and knees.  
“Drugs finally got to him, eh?” muttered Tala behind his hand to the others.  
“What’s the dope been taking anyway?” asked Kevin. Max shrugged.  
“How am I supposed to know?!” the blond asked indignantly.  
“It’s _you_ who has the misfortune of sleeping with the bastard!” yelled Kevin.  
“Hey, it’s _my_ job to please and make sure he doesn’t sleep in so late he misses classes.” Kevin blinked, wearing a look of disgust that mimicked the one Zeo had worn when he’d realised he’d been touching Tyson’s and Max’s emission. It seemed his mind was still stuck on _‘please’_.  
  
“Shhhh!” hissed Tyson even more desperately. “You’re scaring it!” Okay, now this was beginning to get _deadly_ scary.  
“Ty, what exactly is it?” asked Max at last. Tyson crept up, smiling up at an empty space on top of the television, a look of wonder and amazement on his face.  
“Can’t you see it?” he whispered excitedly.  
“Eh, neh! If we could we wouldn’t look so fucking confused Ty!” retorted Tala.  
“It’s a leprechaun!” he whispered again, this time with an excited little giggle following, which was stifled by his hand, not wanting to scare away the imaginary leprechaun.  
“Ty, you’re taking the piss now, right?” asked Kevin.  
“The saddest thing is, I think he really believes it,” said Rei with a slight laugh. They were never letting the bluenette forget this. According to Zeo he’d had many drastic hallucinations when he was paralytic, (the can of beer doing the cancan across campus being one of them), but this had to be the funniest.  
  
“Heya, Heya pal,” whispered Tyson chirpily.  
“Ty, you damn spas!” yelled Tala. He stood up, stomping over to Tyson and towering over him. Tala looked down, seeing that all of a sudden there were fresh tears looming behind Tyson’s mahogany eyes. “Geez’, Ty,” he said apologetically but awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck. “Don’t get all cry-baby on me, I didn’t mean-”  
“YOU SCARED IT AWAY!” wailed Tyson, and Tala slapped the back of his head. Rei smiled slightly. Tyson may be a pain, but he was funny when he was stoned. _These guys,_ thought Rei, sighing slightly as the _cheer-off_ in _Bring it on_ started _. Kai was out of line when he said that, I wouldn’t trade these guys for the world. I may have only known them for a little while but, they’ve welcomed me, (along with my sexuality and seeming attraction to bastards), and I don’t feel awkward around them at all._  
  
Rei sighed again, lying back in the sofa, the couples cuddling up together around him, Tyson still sniffing slightly about the leprechaun that he swore was there. It hadn’t started well at this place, he admitted that, but it seemed that he really had got a fresh start. _At least I’m not getting picked on,_ he thought bleakly, pondering the worst of his past. His bullying crisis was the reason he dreaded school everyday, and even though he had friends, he never had someone like Tala, who would beat the crap out of them if they were caught anywhere near him. _Maybe that’s why I haven’t been bullied yet, they’re all afraid of Tala._ His eyes widened in horror at the thought. _Great, which means they all think I’m gay! (Well I kinda am but…) Yeah , well I didn’t want them to know that! Ergh, great, I hate this stereotypical world, just because all my friends are gay, (including Kai, the bastard I don’t care_ **what** he says), doesn’t mean I am! (Yeah, but the fact that I’m gonna wear make-up, a semi-translucent dress and dance around with Kai on an Ice-rink just might do it…)  
  


***

Rei groaned with exhaustion as he threw himself down on the couch when he got home. It had been the twelfth day of training, and now they were a fortnight closer to the upcoming competition, which Kai was unsure about, and Rei…well, he’s started a nail-biting habit as a result of the stress and tension that Kai and Brooklyn were laying on him. Rei groaned again, running his hand over his eyes, he was absolutely shattered. The first day seemed a piece of cake compared to this, Kai had been really hard on him especially, and while Brooklyn insisted it was because he wanted Rei to be good, Rei couldn’t help but sense one of Kai’s _bastard phases_ approaching.  
  
“Hey idiot.” _Yep, here it comes - 'le bastardo phaso'_.  
“What?” Rei replied, seeing the slate-haired boy standing at the foot of the couch.  
“What do you think you’re doing?” he asked blandly. Rei sat up.  
“ _Planning to invest in the stock-exchange_ , what the hell do you think I’m doing idiot!”  
“Get up, there’s more work to do,” said Kai casually, walking over to the door and holding it open.  
“In case you didn’t notice before, I was resting,” said Rei, not getting up. “Spiralling down into a deep decline,” he continued, sarcasm and moodiness in his voice. Kai rolled his eyes, yanking him up and dragging him out of the door. “As a result of _your_ coldness I might add.”  
“Yeah, yeah, Blehdy Bleh, you’re like a broken record.”  
“Well you could be a bit nicer.”  
“I could also be a woman, were it not for the lack of breasts and the gaining in a certain anatomy.”  
  
Rei scowled as Kai closed the door behind them, dragging him downstairs.  
“If you ask me you’re not far off, you certainly have the PMS part down…” Rei mumbled.  
“What was that?”  
“Nothing,” he replied hastily. _Jerk…_ “Where are we going anyway?” Kai smirked.  
“You’ll see.”  
“Why the secrecy?”  
“Because you won’t come if tell you now.”  
“It’s not anything that’s going to embarrass me or make me look like a pratt is it? Kai? Kai?” He didn’t like the way the boy was avoiding his question. _Why do I think this is the ‘_ bike and the bush’ _incident all over again?_  
  
  
TBC


	14. I’ll Do Anything…Almost!

_I’ll Do Anything…Almost!_

_~Fourteen~_

 

 “A club! You brought me to a _night-club_ to practice!” Kai nodded, dragging him through the doors after sharing a look of understanding with the bouncer, which allowed them to skip lining up, and just walk in. Rei looked around him as he walked in with Kai.

“It’s not really a night-club anyway,” corrected Kai, shouting over the music. “It’s like a bar with a lot of, I don’t know, night-club touches.” He snatched Rei’s hand and dragged him through the crowd to a clear space on the dance floor.

 

 “So, tell me again, why we’re here. This place is, I don’t know, lacking oh, say…ice!” Kai smirked again, stopping before Rei in the small space.

“Remind me, what both me and Brooklyn said to you today?” he asked, and Rei rolled his eyes.

“ _You lack rhythm and the ability to make your moves work with the music, and with the right parts on the music,_ ” Rei mimicked in a girly voice, sighing afterwards.

“Precisely, we have a week and a half left, once you get this down, you’ll only have to work on the big moves, okay?” Rei recoiled as Kai held out his hand.

“No way in hell am I dancing with you in a public place!” Kai rolled his eyes.

“Stop being such a homophobe and do it.”

“Firstly, _me_ homophobe, you won’t even admit you’re gay! Secondly, I don’t wanna.” Granted he said the last bit in a little babyish way but still.

“It’s exactly the same as dancing with me on the ice, except now you’re dressed like yourself, not a girl. Not that there’s much difference.”

“Yeah, but no one will recognize me then!”

“Don’t be such a wimp, come on.” Rei eyed the hand that was offered him. “You don’t have to get all embarrassed.” Rei flushed.

“I’m not embarrassed!” Kai sighed.

“I should have known you’d chicken-out.” Rei scowled.

“You don’t know the first thing about me so don’t pretend you do!” argued Rei. Kai smirked, a look suggesting he was scheming crossing his features.

“If I prove I know you better than you think will you do it?” Rei narrowed his eyes with suspicion, but nodded. “If I guess your favourite song, you have to do it.” Rei suddenly feeling more confident nodded with a smile, watching the boy go over to see about getting the song changed.

 

  _Moron,_ thought Rei, _he’ll never guess it; there are a millions of songs in the world. He’ll never pick the right one._  

 

 Suddenly he felt a feeling as if the ground was going to open up and swallow him whole, hit him, as that familiar music sounded in his ears. _That bastard,_ he thought, as Kai came back to him with a smug grin. Begrudgingly, the raven-haired boy took Kai hand, allowing himself to be twirled into the older boy’s chest.

“You bastard, how did you-”

“-Later, now, just feel the music, and let me lead, okay?” Rei rolled his eyes. Why’d he always have to be so submissive?

 

**Driving through the night**

**Tears are running down my face,**

**I start to realise, all the things that I once said**

**I promised you the world**

**It's nothing more than you deserve**

**It's killing me inside, to know I put you through this hell**

 

 Rei blushed as Kai’s hand ghosted over his sides to rest at his hips briefly, before spinning him away from him. Rei moved with the music, realising that it was his one chance to impress the slate-haired boy, and make him have enough confidence in him to let him try the more difficult moves. Rei breathed in deeply, trying to relax and concentrate on anything but Kai’s hips moving behind him to the music. _This isn’t really a song to dance to though, unless that’s what he’s trying to teach me?_ His train of thought was interrupted by Kai’s voice.

“Good, now keep with the music, but keep your steps and leg movement tidy,” Rei nodded. He was starting to get the hang of this. He could always dance, that was never the issue, but he was having difficulty moving to Kai’s rhythm, and his standard, to pick up on that was difficult. The ability to do that had to come from being able to anticipate your partner’s moves, but not knowing Kai half as well as he should by now, that was the main problem. However, slowly, that was starting to change.

 

**Take away my heart,**

**It doesn't wanna work no more**

**I never meant to make you cry**

 

 Rei allowed Kai to literally sweep him off his feet, the tips of his toes just inches from the ground. The raven-haired boy blushed when he felt Kai run his hand down the length of his leg. “Keep your legs tidy when you bring them out,” he said, though not as harshly as the smaller boy was used to. “And try to use your arms more, but just like your legs, keep the movements smooth when they come out, got it?” Rei nodded, continuing the dance as Kai moved him out of the embrace. “You should be flowing in and out of movements, so that the audience can’t tell where one ends and another begins.” Rei smiled, nodding again.

 

**California calling 20 miles to go,**

**And I don't, I don't know**

**Should I turn around or should I leave you alone?**

**No I don't, I don’t know**

**I don't know**

**No I don't know...**

 

 Kai’s hands enclosed around Rei’s, Rei dropping down so that he almost touched the floor, before he pulled him back up, the raven-haired boy falling gracefully into his chest. As instructed before he used his arms, bringing them out before running them over Kai’s, turning Kai’s hands in his, and twirling himself away from him. Kai’s lips played into a smirk. He seemed impressed.

 

**I'm on the road and it feels so cold outside,**

**It's driving me insane, to know how much you hurt tonight**

**Take away my heart; it doesn't wanna work no more**

**I never meant to make you cry**

**California calling 20 miles to go,**

**And I don't, I don't know**

**Should I turn around or should I leave you alone?**

**No I don't, I don’t know**

**I don't know**

**No I don't know...**

 

 “Keep with the music, you’re doing well but try to keep with the mood as well as the words and beat. It’s not a care-free styled song, so try not to be too cheery with the movements, or facial expressions, because remember the audience nearer the front will be able to see those as well.” Kai explained, Rei nodded, returning the smile that still remained on the slate-haired boy’s face.

 

**California calling 20 miles to go,**

**And I don't, I don't know**

**Should I turn around or should I leave you alone?**

**No I don't, I don’t know**

**I don't know**

**No I don't know...**

 

Playing the game of trust to see how well Kai good anticipate his movements, the first time he heard the word _‘calling’_   Rei let himself fall back gracefully. Sure enough the taller boy caught him, lifting him back effortlessly, so that Rei bounced back onto his feet.

 

**California calling 20 miles to go,**

**And I don't, I don't know**

**Should I turn around or should I leave you alone?**

**No I don't, I don’t know**

**I don't know**

**No I don't know...**

 

Kai spun the boy to his chest again, lowering the boy back. Rei blushed, he’d seen positions like this held by people in musicals and romance movies just before a passionate kiss between the co-stars. He was _disappointed_ by that however, Kai’s face merely skimmed his.

 

**Gotta keep on moving on**

**Gotta keep on moving on**

**Gotta keep on moving on**

**California calling, California calling**

 

 Rei pulled his arms hesitantly round Kai’s neck as the words struck in the song, but smiled with relief when that unusually warm smile was awarded him. Maybe this was partially to get his confidence up as well. It was strange though, when he was with Kai, even though he was embarrassed, he felt free to be himself and do anything. Right now, he was sure more than ever, that if anyone were to cause trouble because of being himself, dancing with another guy, that Kai would be the first to say something, (or more accurately, pound the nosy bastard’s face into the opposite wall.) This didn’t stop him flushing however, when Kai made his move. Not knowing whether it was just part of the dance or not, but Rei blushed a dark crimson as the slate-haired boy’s hand stroked the side of his face, making his skin tingle.

 

**Gotta keep on moving on**

**Gotta keep on moving on**

**Gotta keep on moving on**

**California calling, California calling**

 

 As the music ended, Kai mimicked the movement of before, arching Rei back, the form resting gracefully in the air and seeming to fit perfectly against his chest. Rei tilted his head to look up at Kai, making the Russian melt at the warming smile awarded him.

“Did I do good?” he asked hopefulness in those golden orbs. Kai smiled back.

“You did great.” Rei’s eyes glowed with bliss, he had earned Kai’s approval, and it made him feel feather light as he continued to hold the pose. Kai continued to smile at him, touching his nose with his slightly. Something about that look on the raven-haired boy’s face made him realize that even if Rei hadn’t been stunning with every movement, he wouldn’t have said so.

 

 The Chinese boy blushed to the roots of his hair he heard applause, turning his head to see the other couples on the dance floor crowded round them with amaze. Rei hopped back onto his feet, scratching the back of his neck with embarrassment. Rei looked to Kai, noticing the doting look of appreciation, and to his horror, that he was applauding him as well. Kai spanned the small gap between them, leaning in to his ear. Rei flushed his darkest as he felt the hot breath whisper in his ear. “I’m proud of you, Kitten.” Rei’s breath caught in his throat, mewling with happiness as he felt Kai’s lips brush against his cheek briefly, and when he pulled away, crimson eyes glowed with the new and complete trust in his partner.

 

 Two figures stood leaning in the doorway to the restrooms, watching the two with not quite the same admiring gaze as the rest of the people in the club. The taller, silver-haired man sneered.

“Who’s that kid?” His slightly smaller, but just as ominous companion looked on with a similar sneer.

“The chink? I think his name’s Rei Kon. He hangs around with Tala and the faggot-parade. He was told off for jabbering with that snotty little fuck Kevin in my class earlier in the semester.” The silver-haired man, Bryan, continued to watch the two with venomous, steely eyes.

“Isn’t that guy he’s with that Russki, Hiwatari?” The smaller, dark haired man, Aoki looked once more.

“So it is; that bastard ran away when his Faggot-boyfriend was attacked and put in a coma, hear he croaked a few weeks back though.” Bryan smirked.

“So Hiwatari’s moved on to the next wimpy shit for a ride, huh?”

“What ya make of that dance?” asked Aoki. Bryan’s sneered once more.

“ _Dance?_ Feh! That was a disgusting display of affection.” He watched as Kai took Rei’s hand, leading him to the bar to get a drink. “Rei Kon, eh?” he repeated, a malicious smile crossing his features. “I think our semester is looking up Aoki, we might just have ourselves some fun after all…”

 

*                 *                 *

 

 Rei scowled, tapping his foot with impatience and annoyance. “Do I really have to wear something as elaborate as this?” he asked, feeling Brooklyn stab him with the needle for the twenty-third time that evening.

“Stop complaining you woman,” teased Brooklyn, cutting the thread as he finished making the adjustments. He stood back to admire his work. “Uh huh, the guy can sew.” Rei rolled his eyes at Brooklyn approving his work. Rei turned, looking himself up and down in the full-length mirror.

“Brook, I…couldn’t you have given me, something…”

“ _Something_ what?” he asked chirpily.

“A little less skimpy?!” Rei exclaimed, suddenly turning his attention to Kai, sitting in the chair with his legs crossed, eyeing him carefully, but with a careless and yet pensive expression on his face. Rei glared. “Better not catch you smiling Hiwatari,” he growled threateningly. Kai’s face fluttered into a slightly amused expression, meshed with false innocence.

“I don’t know what you mean Kitten,” he cooed, making Rei growl. Rei turned back to the mirror, blushing and covering his naked legs, as well as his much-revealed _bikini-line_.

“I’ll never pass off as a girl!” Brooklyn and Kai shared a look, which Rei noticed in the mirror. “I saw that look!” he jumped, paranoid, “that look? What was that look?”

 

 “Rei,” said Brooklyn, “you have like, no body hair-”

“- _Silky_ skin-”

“-Girly hair and an attractive, feminine glow to your face-”

“-A _sumptuous_ derrière-”

“-A slim, womanly physique-”

“- _Lick-able_ curves-”

“-Let’s just face it, you’ll definitely pass-”

“-And any guy will screw you.” Rei growled again. Kai was determinedly trying to annoy him with the comments, (noting that Kai had made all the dirty ones.) Rei looked himself over once more; a black leotard, lined with glitter and various decorations along with a _skimpy_ , voile-like material making up the skirt that barely covering the tops of his thighs, made up the outfit that he was doomed to wear in front of millions of television viewers plus the odd thousand live audience members. He was uneasy about so much of his skin being showed off, but the look Kai was giving him in the mirror, made him ease a little. _Kai approves by eyeing me up and I’m as submissive as a bitch in heat! What’s wrong with me?_

 

 “Fine, and I’ll accept my hair being done, but do we really have to go so far as make-up?” the Chinese groaned, and the red-head grinned deviously.

“Yep yep!” Rei sighed; he was posing as a woman, ( _does that make me a drag queen?_ ) and in front of thousands, and just for Kai! _Wanker, he **so** owes me after this – I think I’ll have him lick my shoes for weeks on end, and do my share of the chores, oh, and make him wear a tutu like this, only pink and for class!_ _Yeah right, he’ll probably just give me a blowjob and I’ll be happy – shit did I just think that!_

 

 “Okay, everything is set,” said Brooklyn. “With three days left ‘til the competition, we will do the rest in full-dress, that’ll happen tomorrow though, it’s too late and you guys need your sleep, so get.” Rei sighed, however much he longed for his bed, the sooner he got into it, the sooner he would wake up, and have to face another grueling training session. _Why me god? Why?!_

 

 

 

TBC

* * *

"California Callin" is by Enrique Iglesias, I do not own (obviously).

 


	15. Upcoming Event

_Upcoming Event  
~Fifteen~  
  
  
  
_  
“One, two, three steps and lift!” Kai brought his hands on the Chinese boy’s hips, lifting him off his feet. Rei brought his own from their proper, outstretched position to the Kai’s chest, pressing firmly, making Kai drop him back to his feet again, a peeved look casting over his features. Brooklyn sighed. “And again, Rei,” Rei avoided both their eyes, feeling a complete idiot. The competition was tomorrow and he couldn’t do this one lift. “Okay, again,” said Brooklyn optimistically. Rei inhaled deeply, he was going to do it this time. “One, two, three steps and lift!” Again, Rei stopped Kai from lifting him up.  
  
Rei could have sworn he heard Kai growl slightly with annoyance this time, and he skated back to the starting point for this move. Brooklyn sighed, again. Once again, following the red-head’s words, Rei took three steps towards Kai, before jumping and allowing Kai to lift him. “Good!” yelled Brooklyn, trying to hide the surprise that Rei had actually done it. “Right, hold it, hold it!” he insisted, watching Rei’s posture faltering.  
  
Rei trembled as he felt his feet leave the ice and his complete body weight thrown onto Kai’s muscular arms at his hips. Kai’s arms went straight, holding him up, as Rei tried to keep his arms and legs outstretched cleanly, however when he saw the ice moving below, his legs came down. Struggling to find his footing but failing to, Rei wrapped his legs round Kai’s waist, causing the taller boy to topple backwards, his back colliding hard with the ice, Rei on top.  
  
Rei groaned, opening his eyes to find Kai below him.  
“Argh, Kai I’m sorry, I just…I’ll do it next time, I promise.” Kai growled angrily, but not saying anything, as he got to his feet, resuming position. _Damn it,_ thought Kai, _what happened to the graceful performer that I danced with at the club?_ The slate-haired boy sighed as he watched Rei take position too; _At least he didn’t do my back in…yet!  
  
_ Over the next twelve tries, Kai landed on his back, his ass, or some other body part with Rei colliding on top. The following six times this was avoided by Rei telling Kai to let him down instead of latching onto him like a leech. “One, two, three steps and lift!” Rei held his arms out again as he felt Kai lift him, but again, as he felt his legs stretch out, that unstable, unbalanced feeling returned. “Hold it.”  
“Down,” Rei muttered to Kai, and Kai brought him down gently onto his feet. Rei could tell Kai was pissed off, and he was grateful that he hadn’t lost his temper with him so far; he _was_ trying after all.  
  
“Again!” sounded Brooklyn’s voice. _Man is this guy getting more demanding or what?_ “One, two, three steps and lift!” This time, Rei didn’t even get up off the ice three inches before Kai brought him back down. Brooklyn stopped the music again.  
“You’re still struggling when I hold you up!” Rei avoided his eyes again, now Kai was really going to let him have it.  
“I’m sorry…” he mumbled, his dark bangs falling into his eyes.  
“What do you think I’m gonna drop you?!”  
“No!” Rei yelled back, blushing.  
“Look,” Kai said, fighting the scolding tone out of his voice. “If you don’t trust me when we do this, you could really hurt me-”  
“-I’m sorry, I didn’t-”  
“-Stop apologizing! You can do it, you don’t think I was scared too when I was doing this the first time, and I was a lot younger than you are now.” Rei looked at him then.  
  
“How young?” Kai shrugged.  
“Seven, eight maybe, when I did this kind of advance stuff.” Rei looked at him thoughtfully for a moment.  
“Kai?”  
“Yeah?”  
“I don’t think I’m gonna…be able to do any of this…”  
“What?” he exclaimed.  
“One – I can’t do the most important lift properly. Two – I’m not good enough to perform alongside you, three, we don’t fit as a pairing, the chemistry has to be right and me being-”  
“-You can do the lifts, you just have to trust that I’m not gonna drop you on your ass.” Rei smiled slightly. “You’re learning a lot faster, and better than I did. And if you didn’t fit with me, why’d you think Brooklyn went out of his way to say that you should do it, even though you’re a guy. It doesn’t matter…”  
  
Rei cast a glance over at Brooklyn, who couldn’t hear what they were saying from the distance. “You can do this, all you gotta do is trust me, and we’ll kick their asses at that performance tomorrow.” Rei smiled, nodding in agreement. “So, you gonna give it one more try?” Rei nodded again. Kai smiled. “Brooklyn?” The red-head shot to attention. “Again!”  
  
TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is already complete on my computer, I am just uploading a few chapters at a time to this site. So I will update regularly and often. Just so you know :)


	16. Guiding The Steps Of Your Soul

_Guiding The Steps Of Your Soul_

_~Sixteen~_

 

 Rei took in a shaky breath as he prepared to speak. It was difficult how Kai would react, he was so flaky. The strangest thing could set him of. _He’ll either scream at me or laugh and call me an idiot,_ he thought, watching the slate-haired boy from across the room, _casually_ looking up at him from his still incomplete English assignment. _I’m never finishing this damn thing,_ he thought, _why did English have to be a compulsory course?_

 

 “You shouldn’t concentrate so hard,” Rei looked up at Kai’s words.

“Huh?”

“You screw your face up like that and you’ll get expression lines.” Rei rolled his eyes.

“The wisdom of Kai, everybody bow down,” he said sarcastically. “Anyway, if you weren’t so hard to figure out I wouldn’t need to concentrate so hard…” Kai looked over at him with a smile.

“Am I that much of a conundrum?”

“Yes, you damn flaky mystery!” The taller boy smiled at this. _And I didn’t mean it as a complement either…_

 

 “In future,” started Kai, bending down to pick up the pencil Rei let slip from his grasp. “Don’t call me flaky, it makes me sound like a pastry.” Rei snorted, reaching for the pencil, but Kai pulled his hand back out of his reach.

“Wisdom _and_ a sense of humour,” he commented, still sarcastically. “You must have to beat the girls and gays off with sticks.” Kai smiled as Rei collapsed against the bed in another failed attempt at retrieving his pencil.

“Rail-road-spikes even,” corrected Kai amusedly. Rei sighed and lay back on his stomach as before, giving up on the pencil as he pulled a different one from under the textbook.

“Can’t help yourself can ya?” That smile that had become so warm of late was all he got for a reply.

 

 “If you want,” said Kai, breaking the silence, and sliding the pencil he’d stolen deftly behind Rei’s ear, “I can help you with your English literature assignment.” Rei narrowed his eyes with suspicion.

“I don’t need help; I just…my mind has so much to worry about that English coursework seems a little trivial.” Kai sat down on the edge of the bed. _That damn look again, it was less scary when he was throwing furniture at me._

“Don’t worry about the competition tomorrow; you’ll be great, okay?” Rei nodded. _Now he’s reassuring me? Making me feel better? My god I’m dying aren’t I? I’ve got some terrible incurable disease that only he knows about? Okay – return to sanity Rei, deep breaths…but why’s he being so – don’t listen; he’s trying to lure you into a false sense of security – shut up!_ He broke out of his mental argument with his inner monologue long enough to reply to the boy who was watching him, _no change there, he’s probably gonna ‘jump my bones’ tonight._

“I’ll try my hardest.” Kai smiled, walking over to the CD-Player to change the song.

 

 One of those silences that Rei cursed fell over them, save for the music which Rei once again failed to recognize. _But I am from a totally different part of the world,_ Rei thought as he stared absently as the blank paper that was supposed to be his work. “Umm…Kai?” The boy turned to face him. “Would it…be okay if I asked Tala and the others to come tomorrow?”

“You’ve told them about this?” he asked expressionlessly.

“No, I haven’t…I’m asking if I can and if they’re allowed to come…” Kai entered a state of contemplation, and Rei suddenly came to the conclusion that with the exception of Brooklyn, no one that cared about Kai had ever come to watch him perform. _That’s so sad,_ he thought, _to have such a talent and to try your hardest at something, and no one who loves you even took notice of it._ Brooklyn had once told him that Kai had come to the USA as a child, and that when Kai had returned, it hadn’t worked out. _How can his family not be proud, and not want to come watch him? Maybe his family don’t approve of his dream?_ He stared at the Russian with an equally thoughtful expression, _I wonder, did Wyatt ever go to watch him? And now Wyatt’s gone, that mean’s no one will be there._

 

 “I have no objection to them coming if that’s what you want.” Rei’s eyes lit up.

“Really?”

“Whatever, as long a you make sure they don’t tell anyone who you are. You’re supposed to be a girl, remember?” Rei nodded. _Did, he say yes just for me, or does a small part of him, want them there as well?_

“It’s late, we should get some rest.” Rei threw his book aside; any excuse to avoid English work was welcome. Kai switched the CD-Player off, quickly followed by the lamp.

“Night, Kai.”

“Goodnight.”

“Kai?” asked Rei, suddenly recalling something.

“Hmm?”

“How _did_ you know my favourite song?” Even in the dimness, he could sense that smirk on his face.

“I guessed…” Rei’s eyes widened.

“ _A wild guess?_ There’s no way you could have just guessed that!”

“Well, I had a hunch…”

“Based on what?”

“Based on you sang it when you were in the shower.” Rei blushed.

“You heard that?”

“Yeah, along with the chorus of _‘I’m walking on sunshine’._ ”

“Fabulous…”

“It couldn’t be worse than half the blocks hearing me _toss you off_ could it?” Rei flushed darker; _just keep bringing that up why don’t ya?_ “Anyway, don’t sound so embarrassed, I thought it was cute.” The blush darkened even more.

“Cute? You think so?” _Wait, is he talking about the singing, or the 'tossing-off' thing?_ Rei flushed. _BAD THOUGHTS! Don't think that!_

 

*                 *                 *

 

 Rei shuddered, hopping back and forth from foot to foot and wringing his hands nervously. _This is nerve wracking, how is Kai so calm?_ His gaze fell upon the boy, resting against the wall, his eyes closed and arms crossed.

“Calm down…” he muttered calmly.

“That’s easy for you to say, you don’t have to wear a dress – if you can even call it that! I’ve seen more substantial bits of string!” Kai opened his eyes, the powerful crimson more lustrous against the black of the clothes he was wearing, the shirt lined with a pattern that matched the one on Rei’s costume, opened slightly so that Rei could see a fair amount of his chest.

 

 “You look fine, now relax and stop fluttering about like a high-school girl.”

“I can’t help being nervous.”

“There’s a difference between nervous and psychotic.”

“Psychotic! Feh! Tell that to the chest of drawers.”

“Whatever, just sit down before you break something.” Rei stood at his side, trying to calm himself down. _You can do this Rei; you can do this Rei…_

 

 Suddenly Brooklyn popped his head round the door.

“Hey guys, just the couple from France to go and then we’re up.” As he disappeared again, Rei resumed his panicking.

“Okay, okay _not_ panicking, not panicking-”

“-Rei.” The boy stopped, looking at the other, who now held a suddenly commanding tone.

“You’re gonna be fine, so stop being stupid”

"I can’t help it, I just-”

“-Shut up.”

“But-”

“-Shut up.” Rei’s eyes widened as he felt Kai’s fingertips brushing over his cheek. “I _know_ you can do this, you may not believe in yourself, but you believe in me, right?” Rei nodded. “And the last time I checked, we were in this together.”

“But what if I fall?” he asked meekly.

“Hey,” he said, leaning forward and pressing his forehead against his. “What did I promise? I’m not gonna let you fall, got that?” The raven-haired boy nodded again, a bright smile gracing his face. _I can do this…_

 

*                 *                 *

 

 The Chinese boy’s nerves reached their peak as he and Kai stood in the archway, waiting to go on. At that moment, Kai took his hand in his, and suddenly, he wasn’t nervous anymore, he was... _eager,_ he supposed was the word. The announcer’s voice suddenly sounded.

“ _And now we have the renowned, Kai Hiwatari and partner…!_ ” Kai met his eyes, squeezing his hand before they skated onto the ice. This was it.

 

 The bright lights dazzled him at first, but as he looked around a little more, smiling warmly through his nerves at the crowd who were cheering, he slowly grew accustomed to them. The raven-haired boy met Kai’s smile with his own, before looking to the crowd once more. Tala, Zeo, Kevin, Tyson and Max were sat vocalising their own chorus of cheers and whistles. _Dammit guys,_ he thought, still smiling, _this isn’t a football match._ He took his position in Kai’s arms, locking eyes with him, waiting for the first note of the music to sound. He could feel the tension building in the air around him, as everything went silent.

The first beat of the music hit, and Kai threw him back in the embrace, Rei’s arms outstretched. The next, and Rei leapt up onto his body, the raven-haired boy running his fingers down Kai’s face as their eyes met again. Then the next three, and Kai spun him away from him, still holding his hand. The music hit again, and they released each other, skating opposite sides of the rink. Rei inhaled, _so far so good,_ he just had until the lyrics began, and then he’d face the real test.

 

 **'Sometimes my visions are distant and vague**  
Down at the base of the mountain  
Once in a while I am weak and afraid  
Tired and sick of it all'

 

 The flow of their movements sped up along with the music as the lyrics started. Rei took in a deep breath as he skated towards Kai, leaping into Kai’s body, the Russian catching his hips with ease. The two locked eyes as Kai spun them both, making Rei slightly dizzy, and his breath caught in his throat as they moved. _When he let’s me down I won’t be able to keep my balance, I know it!_ Kai dropped him onto his feet, twirling him away from his body before turning him back into him again. Rei allowed himself to breathe as Kai held his hips flush against his own, his toes off the ground, leg outstretched all the while picturing the next step to come, taking care to keep leg and arm movement tidy. He met Kai’s eyes whenever possible, staring into them with utter determination to impress, and help him win this.

 

 Kai dropped him down slightly, still holding his hips as Rei arced his body back, curving between Kai’s legs and pulling his body through deftly, landing back on his feet behind Kai, out of breath, but smiling nonetheless; he’d pulled off the first difficult move.

 

**'I don’t believe that my story is set**

**Nothing is destined or blatant**

**Bound to this body a world full of hate**

**No one will heed if I fall'**

 

 Kai raised him arm out to the side, Rei mirroring the movement, Kai’s fingers enclosing around his own, slinging  Rei away from him, the smaller frame gliding across the ice away from him with a turn, and circling again. Rei inhaled, he’d very nearly stumbled out of the turn, and it was causing him to lose his nerve. _I can’t mess up; Kai’ll be so crushed if we don’t win this damn thing._ Kai skated to his side, sliding his arm around his hip, and with the hand that was placed there, twirling him. With his back now to Kai, Rei extended his arms, falling back slightly, before Kai caught him, throwing him back up again with a slight bounce onto the ice.

 

**'No one can see it but you know that it’s there**

**Guiding the steps of your soul**

**Holding the truth in the cross that you bear**

**Die with a heart that is bold'**

 

 Kai watched Rei body turn adroitly to face him, the gap between them decreasing as Rei leaned forward against his own body, still moving across the ice, which was making Rei nervous about putting all his weight on him. Seeing Rei starting to lose his cool, Kai pressed his forehead against his, smiling slightly as their eyes locked again, his hand running down the back of Rei’s neck, which was exposed now that his hair was up, making the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. Rei smiled back.

“Are you ready for this?” Kai whispered, and Rei blinked in response.

 

 Rei eased backwards onto his own feet, Kai pushing him back with the same movements Rei had used on him a moment before. With the slightly heavier force Kai had used on him, Rei was propelled away from him, turning and meeting Kai’s eyes from across the ice for the split second he had before he had to move.

 

**'Fly on the wings of despair**

**No one is holding you back**

**The call on the wild is internal'**

 

 Kai could see from the small distance between them, Rei take a short breath of what he could tell to be prayer, before skating towards him, leaping up into his arms. Kai’s hands snapped to the apex of his thighs, and pushing him up into the air. Rei couldn’t help but flinch as he felt Kai lift him up, but once Kai did so, the stress was off his body, and all he had to do was keep his legs and arms in their position. As he held the position, he couldn’t help but smile as he heard the crowd applaud them, Tala and Tyson shouting far louder than anyone else.

 

**'Conquer the silence you fear**

**Tomorrow will not fade to black**

**A new day is dawning**

**Remember, no one can save you today'**

 

 So relieved at pulling off what he considered the hardest move, Rei almost forgot that they still had more to do. As he came back down, he found himself surprised that Kai held his hips tightly against Kai’s stomach, and he held his arms and legs out still, suddenly remembering the rest of the routine. He couldn’t afford to get careless now, not after he’d done so well at the lift that Kai and Brooklyn had thought he’d do so bad at, so much so that they almost hadn’t put it in the performance. _They put faith in me,_ he thought, _I can’t let them down._

 

 Rei felt feather light as Kai spun slightly, bringing him slowly back to his feet with a gliding motion, and Rei breathed again. Far from being exhausted, the more difficult moves, the faster the adrenaline rush that he got when he pulled them off without a flaw.

 

**'The questions are more than the answers I know**

**That doesn’t mean you are lonely**

**Searching for more consecutive goals**

**Making it worth to go on'**

 

 Kai continued to turn, Rei lowering to the ice, one foot forward, and the other leg stretched back, Kai turning him with him, still holding tightly onto his hands. Anxious about being so close to the ice, Rei looked up to Kai, not wanting to look down. He pulled his body slowly up Kai’s, before crossing over wrists and clasping Kai’s hands tightly, Kai lowering him again, only this time Rei’s body straightened. Kai smirked slightly at how fluidly his partner moved in and out of movements, he was definitely impressed. In practice he’d stumble or fall, right now he had yet to make a mistake.

 

 Rei gulped as his body tensed, Kai spinning him round him, Rei pivoting one foot in circles parallel to the ice. Suddenly, Rei’s confidence shattered, once he realized how fast he was moving, and he squeezed Kai’s hands tighter, he didn’t like this, he wanted Kai to let him back up now. The fact that the move Brooklyn had told him was called the _‘death spiral’_ didn’t do well for his nerves either.

 

**'No one can see it but you know that it’s there**

**Guiding the steps of your soul**

**Holding the truth in the cross that you bear**

**Die with a heart that is bold'**

 

 Rei bit into his lip to stifle the gasp of fear as Kai released his hands for a split second, seizing his arms and pulling him effortlessly up against him. It took Rei a moment for his mind to catch up with his body. He had expected it, practiced it many times before, but he hadn’t expected it to happen so fast.

 

 The raven-haired boy smiled nervously as Kai’s hand rested on his hip, his other hand holding his own and skating forward, which meant that Rei was being skated backwards under Kai’s lead. He held Kai’s gaze with an intensity, as if the rhythm he had to move his feet to so as not to trip Kai over, was written in the fiery crimson of those eyes. _Kai,_ he thought, _he has such a different, passionate look in his eyes when he performs, it’s as if he’s a totally different person, not the complacent ass-hole he makes himself out to be._

 

**'Fly on the wings of despair**

**No one is holding you back**

**The call of the wild is internal**

**Conquer the silence you fear**

**Tomorrow will not fade to black**

**A new day is dawning**

**Remember, no one can save you today'**

 

 Kai lifted him up by his hips, surprising Rei at how much strength he still had after such a demanding role in throwing him and lifting him. Kai throwing him into the air with a spin, Rei did three complete turns in the air before landing back down on one foot, the other stretched out slightly. He smiled as the crowd cheered again; he couldn’t help but feel that was a perfect landing. Rei watched Kai coming out of the _‘_ _Arabesque spin’_ that he’d gone into on releasing him.

 

 Rei caught his breath as he continued with the routine. He was in awe of Kai. Even though he’d seen him do all of it before, this was the first time he’d seen it to this standard. _All I have to do is land without falling flat on my ass, Kai has to have such physical strength, and determination…and skill to lift me up and throw me about like I’m feather light, and still have the strength to pull off his own jumps and spins to perfection. They cheer me when I land perfectly, but against Kai, I don’t even compare..._

 

 **'You, and you alone**  
Is forging the path  
Leave your sorrows with the past'

 

 Rei met Kai from across the ice, their movement slowing along with the music. Their hips locked against each other, as their hands met, and they turned slowly, alternating directions to the beat of the bridge of the song. As the note hit that sped up the music, Rei threw himself back dramatically, Kai’s arm round his back, pulling him forcefully back up against him, their hips still locked, Kai once again leading, the ice still moving beneath their feet.

 

 **'Never believe that the story is set**  
Nothing is destined or blatant  
Bound to this body a world full of hate  
No one will heed if you fall

 

 Rei yanked himself back up against Kai again after falling back, running his hands down Kai’s neck as they locked gazes. Kai twirled him twice, leaving them so that they were stomach to back. Rei outstretched his arms, Kai’s hands one under the leg that was up slightly against Kai’s hip, the other on his chest, lifting him up against his body as he whirled round.

 

**'No one can see it but you know that it’s there**

**Guiding the steps of your soul**

**Holding the truth in the cross that you bear**

**Die with a heart that is bold'**

 

 Kai made the next move, flipping Rei round, so that he did a full 360˚ turn in his arms. All within a second, Rei struggled when he turned upside-down and back round again, and pulled his arms out a moment too soon, making Kai’s hand slip, and catch on the blade of his skate. He heard Kai hiss in pain, but he showed no sign of it, his face still perfectly un-phased. Rei met Kai’s eyes briefly, as he was spun back to his feet from the flip. Thankfully, to the audience’s eyes, there were no flaws; they couldn’t see the fresh cut on Kai’s palm. “Carry on, I’m fine,” whispered Kai desperately.

 

**'Fly on the wings of despair**

**No one is holding you back**

**The call of the wild is internal**

**Conquer the silence you fear**

**Tomorrow will not fade to black**

**A new day is dawning**

**Remember, no one can save you today'**

 

 Suddenly Rei lost his nerve. _Kai’s hurt and it’s all my fault!_ Kai pulled Rei up onto his chest, the boy’s arms outstretched once more, but the confident finesse the raven-haired boy showed was far from what he felt inside, he was starting to falter. _It’s all my fault! I was so bigheaded because I pulled off some stupid trick that I wasn’t concentrating, and now…_

 

 Kai brought him back down, stirring Rei from his dazed state, but even as he carried on with the routine, a storm of thoughts was raging inside his head, and it was starting to distract him.

 

**'Fly on the wings of despair**

**No one is holding you back**

**The call of the wild is internal'**

 

 Kai leapt into the air, turning midair, landing gracefully back down on the outside edge of the opposite skate. He watched Rei’s figure as he came towards him, readying for the next lift. _Come on, Rei, I know you can do it…_

 

**'Conquer the silence you fear**

**Tomorrow will not fade to black'**

 

 Rei jumped, Kai’s arms came up to meet Rei’s hips, but they merely skimmed over. Rei had jumped too high. _That bastard jumped right over my fucking head?! No way!_ He turned, Rei landed on the side edge of his skates, skidding across the ice to his knees. Kai skidded forwards, snatching the boy’s hands and bringing him up into a twirl, making the voile skirt dance about the smaller boy’s hips.

**'A new day is dawning**

**Remember, no one can save you**

**No, no one can save you today.'**

 

 Rei exhaled deeply as Kai arched him back. Kai had seemingly made his mistake into a stunning ending, and he smiled nervously up at Kai as the music ended, and the crowd leapt into applause. He wasn’t sure how Kai felt about his mistake. He was smiling now, for the sake of the crowd, but he was sure, that deep inside, the taller boy was fuming with him for fumbling the competition that he’d promised Wyatt he’d win. _Kai…I’m so sorry…I tried I really did, I just wasn’t good enough…_

 

 

TBC

 

* * *

 _Disclaimer:_ Don't own beyblade or any of its trademarks, they belong to Takao Aoki and other people who aren't me. This fic is mine. However the song "Wings of Despair" By Kamelot does **not** belong to me, and I hold **NO** rights to it. No steal no sue. Danke!  
  
Shigure-san  
x chuu x


	17. The Moment After

_The Moment After_

_~Seventeen~_

 

 Still out of breath, Rei sighed as he stood beside Kai on the ice alongside the other couples, awaiting the feedback from the judges. The troubled look on the raven-haired boy’s features managed to pass for nerves to the thousands upon thousands of eyes that were upon him and the others. He stole a glance at the slate-haired boy, hoping to catch a glimpse of his eyes on him, to at least try and decipher his mood, finding crimson eyes locked on the judging panel.

 

 The Chinese boy mentally growled his frustration, why couldn’t the judges hurry up and get to his and Kai’s place already? They weren’t dead last, which was a relief. The judges continued making their slow progress up the places, taking their time in criticising each and every movement, and every flaw the lower scoring couples had made. _Yeah, yeah, bleh bleh, get to it already baldy!_ _There’s fucking twenty of us! Hurry up damn you!_ Despite his annoyance at how long it was taking, Rei couldn’t help but feel enlightened every time another couple were announced at each place. The places got higher and higher, and Rei thought he felt his insides tying themselves in knots. _Certainly milk it for all it’s worth don’t ya Grandpa,_ he insulted mentally, staring at the head-judge.

 

 Rei couldn’t help but allow a harsh intake of breath as the judges announced that the Spanish couple were fifth, beginning on their faults. _Get to it already! French are sixth, Spanish fifth, Kai and partner are? Zippo, just do your job dammit it and stop making the Spanish girl cry!_ Rei felt Kai’s grip on his waist tense slightly, as he held him like the other couples did their partners. Rei looked up at him, watching those eyes betray a hint of anger. Towards who? Him? The judges?

 

 Turning his attention back to the judges as they moved on to the next couple, which thankfully wasn’t Kai and him either, Rei couldn’t help but loathe these people, these so called _‘professionals’. Those pompous ass-holes,_ he thought, _they’re so quick to criticise the contestants who try so hard and give this their all, only to be shot down by bastards who don’t seem to know the first thing about how hard it is to get out here and perform._ Rei flicked a glance back to where Tala and the others sat (thankfully quietly) in the stands. _But I fear for his safety if he plays critic to me and Kai, Tala might castrate him on live television…_

 

 Kai looked down at the seemingly nervous Rei, and then across at the other couple, who they were now against for the first place. _The first two places? We managed to get all the way to a possibility of being first?_  Rei thought, tensing slightly as the air suddenly seemed to become twice as thick, and twice as hard to breathe in. “Mr Hiwatari.” Kai stiffened as the attention suddenly turned on them, the judge quite finished crushing the remaining couple’s spirits. _And still he doesn’t say who’s won…JUST SAY IT YOU TOSSER!_

 

 “Your recent change of partner, I would not have advised.” Rei’s eyes widened at the snide comment, condescendingly spoken to the two, and he could have sworn he actually _heard_ Kai sneer. “This new partner, although perhaps gaining in a feminine air and grace, lacks in areas that Miss Monou succeeded in. It isn’t up for debate, that this new young lady-”

 

  _Are you kidding me? I’m more feminine than Kym? I’m a fucking guy you blind prick!_

 “-was able to execute nearly every move to an… _acceptable_ standard, but-”

  _Ah, the dreaded ‘but’._

 “-it is nowhere near to the perfection a young man like yourself is definitely able to achieve.” Rei’s heart sank. _I knew it, he’s right. I sucked and I ruined it for Kai, he deserves the chance to succeed, not to have to_ _baby-sit_ _me on the ice…_

 

 “However, the performance itself was… _gripping_. This new partner of yours, although executes her moves with a nervousness and lack of flair, her chemistry and timing are perfectly matched to yours. The moves you allowed this new partner to attempt with you so soon were very brave, but she looked afraid of the bigger moves, and her body seemed to tense at the ‘Death-spiral’ In particular…”

 

  _I’m a ‘he’, and I looked afraid because I fucking was! He was spinning me round like a rag-doll – a dandelion in the wind, a toddler on a rollercoaster, a – fucking egg in a fucking blender! You moron! What was I supposed to do? Laugh?_

 “…There are many flaws to your new partner, but other things have the ability to make up for them. I see a lot of hard work for you two in the future if you remain as a team.”  Kai sighed as the judge finished, still not meeting Rei’s eyes as they awaited the ‘verdict’.

 

 “The winning participating couple for this annual competition is…” _For the love of god, say it!_ “Kai Hiwatari and Partner!” Rei’s golden eyes widened as he felt a fluttering feeling in the pit of his stomach rise up and capture all words or emotions, Kai’s arms wrapping round his waist and pulling him into a tight embrace as the crowds and other participants burst into applause. An overwhelming elated feeling overtook him as he was released from Kai’s embrace. He looked into Kai’s eyes meeting them for the first time since he’d messed up at the end of the performance, and his smile only widened as the warmth of Kai’s smile spread across his face, lighting up his usually complacent features. 

 

 Kai watched the Chinese boy as he was presented with a bouquet, finding himself blushing at himself noticing the beauty in Rei’s happiness and ecstatic smile. Finding himself noting silly things like how the flowers went well with his complexion, and currently rising blush. Finding that he couldn’t stop the smile that seemed to have struck his features. Feeling the weight of the audience expectancy to show his allegedly _female_ partner praise or affection, Kai leant down, kissing Rei lightly on the cheek. _What the heck?_ He thought, blushing as red as the flowers that he’d been presented with.

 

*                 *                 *

 

 Kai sighed as he leant against the wall, waiting for Rei to change. “Considering how much you hate the damn outfit, sure is taking you a long time to get out of it. Maybe Kitten is hiding a secret liking for wearing skimpy dresses?” Rei narrowed his eyes as he took off his skates.

“Shut up.” Kai feigned a hurtful look and gasped.

“Youch, you hurt me with your harsh retaliation.”

“Kai,” growled Rei with annoyance as he bent over to get rid of the other skate. The Chinese boy jumped with a yelp as he felt a sharp pinch on his behind. “Kai you-” he cut off as he turned, seeing a grinning Tyson.

 

 “Tyson you bastard,” cursed Rei, seeing Tala, Kevin and the others behind him.

“Sorry bud, couldn’t help it.” Rei scowled.

“Rei,” said Tala, stepping forwards, “what the fuck are you wearing?” Rei flushed covering his bare legs and thighs shyly with his hands.

“B-Brooklyn made me…” he whimpered pathetically, not noticing the smirk on Kai’s face.

“Not arguing either, your ‘beau’ has taste Zeo.” Zeo smirked.

“I know, could he have revealed more flesh?” replied the green-haired boy, admiring the outfit.

“H-Hey, no admiring this damn thing, it’ll encourage him!” argued Rei, flushing a dark red.

“Out of mild curiosity,” Tyson began, looking Rei up slowly, “How did you err…I mean…your…” he sighed, giving up in finding a non-crude way to put it. “Isn’t that thing kinda restricting for your dick?” Rei blushed at his bluntness. “I mean, put a guy in one of those and surely the audience would be able to see _everything._ ”

“Well…yeah…but, I…” Tala’s plain expression shimmered into a smirk.

“Awww, is Rei’s _‘Little Rei’_ a tiddler?” Rei’s eyes widened as his face shot beet red. Tala winced as he received a sharp elbow in the ribs from Kevin.

 “Don’t worry Rei; Tala’s _‘Morning Glory’_ doesn’t exactly _stand to draw attention_ if you know what I mean.” Rei and the others burst into laughter. Tala frowned.

“It’s big enough to keep you occupied,” he said to Kevin. The lilac-eyed boy shrugged.

“Yeah, but then again, small things please small minds.”

“Anyway, ignore him Rei, I think you looked really gorgeous tonight,” said Max with a silly grin on his face. “So get changed, we’re taking you and Kai out to celebrate.” Rei looked to Kai, awaiting his objection.

 

 Sensing gaze on him, Kai cracked open an eye, meeting Rei’s stare. Kai shrugged.

“Whatever.” Rei smiled.

“Good, good,” chirped Max. “Come on then Rei, the night is waiting.” A short silence fell, and the boys looked at the raven-haired boy.

“What ya waiting for?” asked Kevin. Kai smirked once more, his eyes closed again.

“He’s waiting for you to look away,” Kai mumbled. Rei blushed again. _This shyness thing is really something I need to work on. Guys are supposed to be assertive and careless about nudity, not womanish and embarrassed about it…_

 

*                 *                 *

 

 Rei sighed as he wiped the tears of laughter from his eyes, spiraling back down from a fit of giggles at Kevin choking on his cola, resulting in it squirting out his nose.

“Feeling better after that Kev?” asked Max, sipping his drink. Kevin tried to scowl past the smile.

“No, I just feel foamy.” Rei looked around at the people at the table with him. It was the café they’d brought him to before, after the ‘bike incident’, and as usual they’d had to steal some chairs from some other tables to all sit down. Their insane bouts of laughter and conversation topics caused the other customers their age sitting a little away from them to raise eyebrows and whisper behind their hands to their friends, but for the first time, Rei didn’t care. Even Kai was smiling and exchanging quips with the others, making Rei smile across the table at him. Rei studied the smile on the slate-haired boy’s face. _I think, Kai missed this…I think he missed having this with Zeo and Tala. Maybe there was a reason behind distancing himself; in fact, I’m sure of it. But, he’s enjoying himself now, isn’t he?_

 

 “No but seriously, you were great tonight too, Rei,” said Tala, gulping down his root beer. Rei smiled.

“Yeah, well…I was nervous, and-”

“That’s just natural,” interrupted Kai calmly, making Rei, and everyone else at the table look at him.

“But I fucked up, and your hand-”

“I’m fine, okay, the point is you were good tonight, I couldn’t have asked for a better partner, so accept a complement when ‘The Gay-Godfather’ gives you one and stop berating yourself.” Rei was stunned, as were the others. Kai was, reassuring him.

“S-so,” said Rei nervously, “you’re not mad at me for fucking up the ending?” Kai watched him as he set down his now empty glass.

“You gave your all, we won, and you pulled off some of the most complex moves, why would-”

“You keep saying that. Just answer me, are you annoyed at me for messing up a comparatively simple move?” The others’ gaze flicked to Kai, as if they were watching the ball go back and forth at a tennis match, awaiting his reply.

“No. Did you expect me to be?” Rei avoided his eyes, sipping his drink distractedly.

“I never know what to expect from you…”

 

 The café door opened as a small group of boys walked in. Rei recognized them from classes, never having paid much attention to them before, but in a big clump like that, they were slightly intimidating. Kevin seemed to have the same feeling, as his whole attitude seemed to change, and he fell quiet. Tala took his hand that was on the table, squeezing it softly. Kevin pulled away.

“Kev, what-”

“Nothing Tala, just…drop it…” Tala wasn’t one to be put off.

“Kev they’re jerks, who cares what they think, what other people think?” Kevin shot him a look.

“I do! I care Tala, so stop using my love to dare people to challenge you about it!”

“Kev-”

“No, don’t _Kev_ me, it’s like you want them to start on you. What are you, looking for a fight?” Rei and Zeo met gazes as Kevin shot to his feet, Tala following quickly.

“Don’t be so stupid.”

“Stupid? Really? Then what’s with the kissing and groping in the halls at college and-”

“I love you, you idiot, that’s what’s with it!” Tala shouted. The whole café went silent; all eyes on the arguing couple, and Kevin noticed it.

“Tala, please, stop it…don’t make a scene…”

“Make a scene? Is that what a declaration of love is to you? A scene? A disturbance of the peace?”

“Tala please…”

“When are you gonna accept it Kevin?” he asked angrily, his voice getting louder. “You’re fucking gay!” Kevin’s eyes widened with pure fury, smacking his palm across the red-head’s face, leaving a red mark as he stormed out of the café, Tala following quickly after him.

 

 Enquiring eyes rested on the group at the table for a moment, before the noise level returned to normal. Rei was slightly shook up by the argument, he’d never heard them argue to that height in anger before, and it seemed to show. Zeo smiled reassuringly at him.

“It’s okay, don’t worry about them, they’ll be having some superb make up sex within the hour, just you wait and see.” Kai smirked.

“Rather not see, thanks.” The door opened once more, and Zeo’s eyes fluttered over the boy that walked in with interest.

“Speak of sex,” muttered Zeo, getting to his feet. “See you guys later.” The remaining four boys watched him leave the table with disbelief. _That guy’s always cruising for sex_ , thought Rei affectionately.

 

 Max tipped up the bowl that had once held the little white packets of sugar, but now only held empty packets. A disappointed look came over the hyped-up blond’s face momentarily, before the grin returned.

“So guys, it’s getting late, wanna walk back with us?” he chirped, cocking his head to the side. Kai sighed, throwing a tip onto the table for the waitress, before getting to his feet. Max giggled, hopping up and down. “We can cut through the park; it’s really pretty at night.” Rei smiled, but Kai rolled his eyes. Rei guessed it would take Kai a while to get used to the blond’s sugar-spurred antics.

 

 

TBC


	18. All The Right Words

_All The Right Words  
~Eighteen~  
  
  
  
_  
“Well, those guys are certainly a breath of fresh air,” sighed Kai, flicking the light-switch as the two walked into their bedroom, Rei groaning as he threw himself down on his bed. “Argh, I ache from here to next week,” he moaned, Kai smirked, shutting the door and pulling off his shirt, starting to get undressed. The raven-haired boy sat up, rolling his shoulders. “That’s my physical activity done for the next two-and-a-half _thousand_ years, I’m shattered.” The Russian smiled again, walking over to Rei’s side and setting his hands on the boy’s shoulder’s. “W-What’s wrong?”  
“Just sit, you need to work it out or you’ll be paying for it tenfold tomorrow morning.” Rei’s eyes widened in confusion, and he shuddered as Kai’s fingers massaged the pained muscles.  
“N-No, Kai, really I-” Rei’s protests broke of as the slate-haired boy’s deft fingertips worked the ache in his neck and shoulders away, Rei’s head tilting to the side as he mewled quietly.  
  
 **WARNING! LEMON SCENE STARTS HERE! PROCEED AT OWN RISK! CONTINUE GOING UNTIL YOU SEE THE NEXT WARNING IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO READ IT!  
  
** Talented fingers rubbing his neck ghosted downwards, kneading the muscles of his shoulder blades, making him moan quietly in satisfaction. Kai smirked.  
“Enjoying yourself Kitten?” Rei blushed, looking away at the wall as if trying to escape the situation. “I love that flustered look on your face,” the taller boy muttered, kneeling on the bed behind Rei as he continued his actions. “You’re so tense,” he breathed, making Rei shudder his arms shooting forwards to cover up his erection pressing against the material of his jeans. “Especially here,” Rei’s back straightened as Kai’s fingertips ghosted over the bulge, and he gasped shakily. After a few slow, tantalizing touches, Kai’s fingers moved upwards, grabbing Rei’s shirt and drawing it upwards slowly. “How about taking this off, hmm?” he asked, finishing with a lick of the shell of Rei’s ear, making him yelp slightly.  
  
Kai felt the raven-haired boy’s weak protest as he slid his hands up his chest, risking a delicate touch over a slightly erect nub, leaning in to nip the side of Rei’s neck before tugging the shirt over the boy’s head, throwing it to the floor. Rei turned his face away from Kai still staring away from the situation as one of Kai’s hands accustomed themselves with the smooth expanse of milky skin of Rei’s slender torso, untouched and unblemished, whilst lapping at the exposed side of his neck with his tongue. “K-Kai, I d-don’t think – ah!” he gasped as Kai squeezed a nipple, capturing his earlobe in his mouth.  
  
Abandoning the pink nub, Kai’s fingers trailed slowly down Rei’s body, taking in the curves of his physique, before reaching down, pulling down the zipper on Rei’s pants and sneaking his hand inside. Rei gasped, his body arcing forwards in reflex to meet that hand. Kai smirked, squeezing Rei gently through his boxers, the boy quivering in response and struggling with his legs slightly, trying to squirm away.  
  
Fighting for breath, Rei collapsed back against Kai’s shoulder, as the slate-haired boy withdrew his hand, his unsoiled one turning the boy to face him, allowing him to plant a soft kiss on his lips. The hand venturing to slide into the raven locks, freeing his hair from the binding, allowing it to spill out over his shoulders, shimmering as it caught glimpses of the moonlight that came from the window to rest on the bed where they sat in a tangled embrace.  
  
Suddenly finding himself on his back, Rei squeaked as Kai seized his pants, forcing Rei’s hips to rise and fall back down again as he yanked them off, throwing them to join Rei’s shirt on the floor. Hastily Kai jumped to kneel over Rei’s hips, pulling off his black shirt and tossing it aside very unceremoniously as he leant down to capture Rei’s lips in a chaste kiss before he had the chance to recover from being set upon.  
  
Rei’s eyes flickered closed, his arms lying dormant by his head, as Kai ended the innocent kiss, nipping gently at Rei’s bottom lip. Opening his eyes to see the boy leaning over him, Rei wet his lips slightly, a blush dusted over his cheeks as they held each other’s gazes for a long moment, before Kai falling back and meeting Rei with another kiss. Feeling Kai’s eager tongue brush against his lips, the smaller boy hesitantly opened his mouth slightly to the kiss. His heart jolted slightly in surprise as it touched his own tongue, urging it into movement. Rei made a small whimper of satisfaction against the kiss, as Kai nipped the tip of his tongue gently; moving on to graze his own over the submissive other’s teeth. Tilting his head awkwardly, Rei leant up slightly to the kiss, nervously touching Kai’s face with his fingers, before skittishly wrapping his arms round the slate-haired boy’s neck.  
  
Kai smirked against the kiss as he felt Rei’s arms come to wrap themselves around his neck, drawing them both deeper into the embrace. The boy pulled back from the kiss, taking in the look on the raven-haired boy’s flushed expression, swollen lips parted for air. Rei felt Kai lean down, planting a quick kiss on his jaw before dropping sloppy caresses with his lips down his neck and collarbone.  
  
Recovering himself, Rei started, awakening from his dream-like state, feeling Kai sucking harshly at the juncture between his neck and shoulder. “K-Kai…s-stop…STOP!” Kai pulled back, observing the other with a confused expression as he pushed Kai back slightly, covering himself uncomfortably with his hands.  
“Rei?”  
“S-Stop, okay, I-I don’t…I don’t want…” he trailed off as Kai slowly drew his hands away, kissing him tenderly. Rei shuddered as he felt Kai’s hands skim his sides, moving it over his hips, drawing down the fabric of his boxers slowly and pulling them free of his legs.  
  
As if only just realising what was happening, the raven-haired boy pushed back on Kai’s shoulders, doubling up, and resisting when Kai tried to span the gap between them. “Kai stop it,” he cried as Kai tried to draw him from the foetal position he’d assumed. Kai sat back, considering the worried boy underneath him.  
“Rei, what’s wrong? I didn’t hurt you did I?”  
“I…I don’t want you to…don’t want you to look…” Kai’s brows knitted, far from a virgin, he just couldn’t see where the other’s shyness came from.  
“Why?”  
“Because I…it’s embarrassing…” he whimpered, not meeting Kai’s eyes.  
“What do you think I’m gonna do? Laugh?” He’d meant it as a joke, but it seemed he’d hit the nail right on the head.  
  
Kai leaned down, ignoring the whimpers of protest and kissed his cheek. “Look at me.” Golden eyes fluttered open, eyelashes wet with the beginnings of tears. The slate-haired boy locked gazes with the other, willing the tension to fade from his unsure body. The smaller body quivered as Kai’s was pressed flush against it, Kai placing reassuring kisses over his lips, continuing them down the side of his neck and shoulder. Rei watched the other with a light blush as he placed gentle kisses down his arm, pulling his hand away from his body to kiss it, slowly drawing him out of his coil. The Chinese boy quivered as the other hand touched his other shoulder, moving it down to the small of his back, pulling him onto his back.  
  
Straddling Rei’s legs, Kai placed his arms either side of the boy underneath him, keeping his weight off him as he took in the willowy physique. Rei looked away in awkwardness, Kai perceiving every contour of the said boy’s nubile form, fully appreciating every curve and trait to his figure.  
“K-Kai, I-”  
“-What’re you so shy for…you have the most beautiful body I’ve ever seen,” Rei flushed, “every curve…every _everything_ …” he said softly, fingers splaying down over the curved smaller frame that was illuminated by the moonlight, making Rei shudder.  
  
Leaning down to the fevered chest, Kai ran soft butterfly kisses down his sternum, pausing to dip his tongue into the younger boy’s navel. Kai felt Rei’s hands come to rest on his shoulders once more, only this time running his fingers over the well-defined muscles, so unlike his own distinctly feminine body, spurring him to lower the path of his mouth.  
  
The slate-haired boy’s tongue darted out, gathering the dribble of pre-emission off the boy’s erection, making Rei thrash his head, covering his eyes with the back of his hand.  
“K-Kai, th-that’s…” Kai nipped gently at the side, moving down to lick the tightening sac before driving his head down over the swelling member. Rei choked back a surprised gasp as he felt Kai’s hot mouth come back off him, pausing to swirl his tongue skillfully over the head, teasing touches ghosting over the slit, before the throbbing organ was surrounded again in that familiar wetness. Kai looked up at his flustered partner as he repeated his ministrations, his right hand motioning to cup and knead his sac as the other hand busied itself with stroking the insides of his thighs. The raven-haired boy took a shuddering breath, his hips cresting and falling rhythmically against the encircling fingers and wet cavern. A torturously slow pace ensued by the other, as if waiting for the impertinence of Rei’s demand to continue. A helpless whimper tore from Rei’s throat as he lifted his hips, seeking more pressure, which seemed to be what Kai was waiting for, a less than innocent smirk crossing his features as he obeyed the unvoiced command. Rei’s free hand entangled in the sheets, wrenching at them as he covered his eyes whilst his back arced off the mattress every time Kai sucked him into the back of his mouth.  
  
Feeling a heat pool in his belly, Rei awaited his release. “Kai – I-I’m-” The raven-haired boy whimpered in frustration as Kai pulled back, smiling deviously at him.  
“Did you enjoy yourself Kitten?” he asked impishly. Rei didn’t reply, just flushed even darker than before. Kai smirked at the blush. “Are you still embarrassed?” he asked, ghosting a touch over the aching organ, making Rei moan, arching up into the touch, his legs widening in reflex to the sensations. Recovering from the response to Kai’s touch, Rei closed his legs in embarrassment, not able to prevent his legs from tightening and rubbing together in an attempt to relieve the almost painful ache he felt from his orgasm being postponed.  
  
“K-Kai…” he groaned, “y-you’re such a bastard…” Kai smirked.  
“Thanks.”  
“That wasn’t a complement you-” he cut off as Kai claimed his lips with a heated kiss. Rei’s body arced up for the dominant boy’s touch as they traced across his chest, his mouth opening to allow Kai to torture his tongue with his own. The highly sensitive Chinese boy moaned into the kiss as Kai’s hands smoothed over his femininely long legs, subtly forcing them apart.  
  
Suddenly Rei broke the kiss, his head arching back as Kai’s stomach pressed against his neglected member. That same devilish look came across the slate-haired boy’s face.  
“Does that mean that you’re ready Kitten?” Rei, still recovering from the last touch, looked at him blearily.  
“Ready for what – ah!” The boy cried out as he felt Kai’s fingers pushing into his entrance. Kai looked at his lover as he shivered nervously, before flicking the cap off the bottle of lubricant, smoothing some onto his fingers. Normally Rei would have called him on it, and ask him why the hell he had lubricant in his bedside table, but he was far too worried about the now lubed up trespassing fingers and the stretching pain to ponder any other coherent thoughts. He wasn’t too far out of it to blush, however, when Kai withdrew his fingers, lathering lubricant over his erection. Kai noticed the blush, and smiled, as the boy turned his gaze away in embarrassment.  
  
The slate-haired boy stroked the skin of Rei’s leg, just behind the bend of his knee. Rei risked a look back to the boy, seeing the lecherous look almost smothered by a sincere affection. He smiled nervously, his painful arousal calling out to him to allow Kai to continue. Bashfully, Rei spread his legs in beckoning, the slate-haired boy kneeling between them, before lifting them slightly, so that Rei fell back onto the support of his forearms. Rei gasped as he felt Kai pushing himself into entry, trembling in the numbing pain as he felt the grating burn of Kai’s entry stretch him in a way he’d never been before.  
“K-Kai I…I don’t know…I don’t think I…” Pushing further into his orifice, Kai winced slightly as well, noting the look on Rei’s face. The raven-haired boy bit hard down onto his lower lip, trying to stop himself from crying out in pain.  
“Try to relax, Kitten.” Rei nodded, biting back tears. _Relax? How the hell can I **fucking** relax?!  
  
_ Suddenly Kai thrust the rest of himself into the smaller frame. Rei threw his head back in agony, screaming his anguish out so that it reverberated from the walls. Kai smoothed his hands over the boy’s face, placing him with a gentle kiss. “It’s alright, Kitten, bear with it for a moment, you’ll get used to it.” Rei cried out again as Kai moved, feeling like Kai was tearing him apart from the inside out.  
“I – I can’t Kai, please, it hurts!”  
“It’s alright,” Kai cooed tenderly, soothing the smaller boy into silencing his pained cries, leaning up, begging for a distraction. Kai smiled warmly, receiving the agonized boy’s needy kisses.  
  
Seizing Rei’s willowed erection, Kai pumped the reawakening organ, mirroring the movements of his hips, making Rei’s erratic breathing come out in harsh pants into the darkness of the room. The Chinese boy’s arousal pulsed as Kai slammed into his prostate, the sound of flesh slapping against flesh making him flush as he clung to Kai’s shoulders, feeling the intoxicating nirvana overtake him and the pain completely, until being touched and touching back was more important than being embarrassed.  
  
Kai couldn’t refrain from smiling as he felt steady thrusts met with Rei’s hips lifting shyly into the movements, seeking more force with every pound into him. Rei groaned at the gratifying friction, moaning at Kai’s texture and maddened jerk on his swollen length, slick with his own pre-emission. Writhing deliriously underneath him, Rei let out a tortured, begging whimper every time Kai pulled out, groaning at the sinfully wonderful sensation as he pushed back in. With each fluid motion, Kai slammed Rei’s hips into the mattress; the boy’s back fighting to arch off the mattress in the same movement, making him see stars.  
  
The Russian boy sped up as he felt his orgasm approaching, frantic punches of his hips sending the raven-haired boy into fits of only half-stifled cries, as he bit down onto his curled up fingers. Kai thumbed the boy’s slit teasingly, before bringing his hips down once more. Rei’s hips lifted into the thrust, his whole body arcing upwards off the mattress, his legs tensing around Kai’s hips the tingling sensations and pent up pleasure exploding inside his stomach, making him convulse, spilling his essence onto both their stomachs. The slate-haired boy smirked at the sound of the boy’s erratic voice, punctured with whimpers and gasps for breath ricocheting off the walls, ripping itself from that slender throat. The already tight muscles around Kai’s swollen member clenched as Rei’s orgasm hit, every part of his body tensing, before spilling the tension along with his seed into his panting lover.  
  
 **OKAY, SAFE TO READ NOW!**  
  
Kai shifted so that he was beside Rei on the bed, pulling him into a tender embrace, and planting a weak kiss on his forehead. Rei gasped for air as his heated body fought to regain any rational sense. Both spiraling back down from their euphoria, leaning into the warmth of each other, the two both felt a warmth spread from where their skin touched the other’s. Rei sighed softly against Kai chest, leaning up and nuzzling against the taller boy’s throat, purring softly.  
“Kai?” asked Rei softly, fighting back unconsciousness.  
“Hmm?” replied the other boy, his eyes already closed.  
“Thank you.” Kai’s eyes opened.  
“For what?”  
“For…never mind.” Kai raised an eyebrow.  
“You wanted to lose your virginity that badly?” asked Kai. Rei clicked his tongue impatiently, nuzzling back into his chest.  
“Don’t spoil it Kai.” Kai smirked.  
“Enjoy yourself tonight, Kitten?”  
“Why do you call me that?”  
“Because I can.”  
“Kai,” he insisted.  
“It’s a pet name.”  
“Exactly, a _pet_ name. Am I a pet?”  
“I meant-”  
“-I know what you meant, dummy.”  
“Really? I thought I was _fickle_ and you had no clue about me?”  
“Shut up and kiss me idiot.” Kai smirked again, pulling his hand behind the smaller boy’s neck and bringing him up so his face was millimeters from his own.  
“Good retaliation.” Rei didn’t know whether it was just Kai or whether it was because of his exhaustion after the night’s events, but the kiss didn’t seem so overpowering, or forcefully passionate as it usually did. It felt, gentle, almost chaste, Kai’s fingers on the back of his neck sending little tingling sensations down his spine as Kai’s lips and tongue stoked against his gently.  
  
Rei pulled away slightly, wrapping his arms round Kai’s chest, his fingers tracing ornate patterns across his shoulder blades.  
“Kai?”  
“I’m still here, Kitten.”  
“Do you…Do you think I’m _small_?” Kai looked at him in disbelief.  
“What kind of ridiculous question is that?”  
“A perfectly reasonable one.”  
“Hey, don’t go getting insecure after Tala and Tyson’s teasing, they’ve got dicks the sizes of peanuts anyhow.” Rei’s raised an eyebrow.  
“How do you know?”  
“Tala _was_ a friend of mine you know, I _have_ seen him naked.”  
“What about Tyson?”  
“He sleeps with a sugar-hyped loony! Remember small things please small minds.” Rei narrowed his eyes slightly. “Honestly, don’t worry about something so trivial.” Rei still looked a little dejected.  
“But…you’re… _bigger_ than me…” Kai rolled his eyes; if Rei weren’t so sad about it, Kai might actually find it amusingly stupid. “Don’t I look… _pathetic_?”  
“I don’t know,” Kai said sarcastically, “let me have a quick look.” Rei’s eyes widened as Kai slid down under the covers, a flush coming over his cheeks as he felt hot breath over his flaccid member.  
  
Coming back up to his view, Kai rewrapped the boy in his arms. “Nope, looks fine to me,” he said, planting a kiss on Rei’s lips, before resting his chin on top of the raven-haired boy’s head. “Idiot, I like you just the way you are, and my opinion is _way_ more important than yours.” Rei’s lips smoothed into a smile.  
“I love you too, Kai…” Kai’s fingers ran through Rei’s jet tresses, feeling the boy’s breath deepen. Kai smiled, leaning over to turn off the alarm for tomorrow morning, both of the two having late classes tomorrow in any case. He felt that his new lover needed a few extra hours rest. The boy’s eyes fluttered closed as sleep overcame him, unconsciously nuzzling against Rei’s hair, exhaling lightly as he joined the raven-haired boy in a much called for sleep.  
  
  
TBC


	19. Repercussion

_Repercussion  
~Nineteen~  
  
  
  
_  
A soft sigh fluttered through slightly parted, rosy lips, as Rei slowly began to stir. Without opening his eyes, Rei stretched out to the side, moving to rest against Kai’s warmth. Rei eyes flickered open, finding Kai’s side of the bed empty. Leaning up on his elbows, he noticed that he was nowhere to be seen. The curtains, however, he noted had been drawn, most likely by Kai to keep the sunrise from blaring in his face as it always managed to every other morning. Lifting himself up a little more, Rei frowned as his hands skimmed over something velvety soft. Looking down, golden eyes lit up as he saw fragrant, pink petals scattered across the bedspread. _Kai_ ….  
  
“You’re awake then.” Rei jumped, looking up to see Kai kicking the door closed behind him. “I was beginning to think you’d sleep the day away.” Rei smiled.  
“Why weren’t you in bed?” Kai indicated to the tray he was carrying.  
“Breakfast in bed,” he replied with a very _un-Kai-like_ smile. Setting the tray down on his own bed, Kai set himself on the edge of Rei’s, watching the giddy-happy smile spread across Rei’s face. “What’s the matter?” Rei shook his head, lifting up the blanket for Kai to slide back under with him. Nuzzling against Kai’s chest, Rei felt Kai’s fingertips span down across his back and shoulders, stroking softly.  
“Kai?”  
“Hmm?”  
“What’ ;s with the petals?” he looked up to meet Kai’s eyes.  
“Did you not like them?”  
“N-No, they’re…beautiful…I just didn’t figure you for the amorous lover, is all.” Kai laughed quietly.  
“The world these days just doesn’t have enough overblown romantic gestures,” he said, stroking aside a rogue strand of hair from Rei’s face.  
“Y-You don’t have to romance me…you know…” Kai frowned slightly.  
“If you didn’t like it you just have to say.”  
“No, no it’s not that!” Rei said almost desperately. “I just…no one’s ever done something so thoughtful for me before.” Kai’s frown faded, and he smiled warmly down at the boy resting on his chest. “Thank you, Kai.” Picking up a petal Kai brushed it lightly over the back of Rei’s hand as he spoke.  
“You don’t have to say thank you, numskull. I didn’t do it to get your gratitude…I did it to see you smile…” A light blush dusted over the slate-haired boy’s cheeks as he spoke, making Rei’s smile widen. “Besides, the petals go well with your skin tone,” he added mischievously, sweeping the petal gently over Rei’s cheek.  
“Kai, you-” Rei was cut off as Kai pulled his hand roughly behind the boy’s neck, pulling him up into a kiss.  
  
 **WARNING! LEMONY SMUT SCENE AHEAD - IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ, CONTINUE TO THE NEXT WARNING!!!!  
  
** The Chinese boy sighed softly as they broke the kiss. “You’re so beautiful…” murmured Kai against his lips, and Rei flushed.  
“You’re so one-track-minded,” replied Rei, “you’re the same as Zeo.” _Except I doubt Kai ever had sex with a total stranger on a bus!_ “Ah!” he gasped as Kai’s hands reached down, squeezing him softly. _Then again…wouldn’t put it past him…  
_ “No, I’m oh so much worse,” he said, squeezing harder. “So much worse in fact, that you might just have to punish me.” Rei blushed.  
“You’re such a pervert, throw the romantic aftermath right out the window why don’t ya?” he joked. Kai smirked, flipping him over so that Rei was underneath.  
“I’m sorry. How about I make it up to you?” He was still wearing that filthy smirk, but Rei guessed he wasn’t fairing much better. Kai shuddered as Rei lifted his hips slightly, ghosting over his own.  
“Yeah, why don’t you do that?” Kai smirk, planting a delicate kiss on Rei’s lips.  
“I can’t wait to hear you scream for me again…” Rei blushed his darkest, Kai dropping butterfly kisses down his sternum, disappearing under the sheets.  
  
Rei gasped as he felt Kai’s hot breath on the reawakening organ, causing the boy whimper in disappointment when he neglected the erection, moving to drop a trail of wet kisses and nips from the knee, down the rest of Rei’s thigh. Feeling Kai’s tongue touch the head of his erection, maneuvering the dribble of pre-emission down along the underside, making the boy toss his head to the side, whimpering quietly. “K-Kai…you…I… _please_ …I…” Kai smirked at his incoherent sentence, liking the fact that he had the power to send the boy into a quivering haze. Rewarding him, the slate-haired boy moved back to swirl his tongue over the head, pressing gently into the slit. Rei arced his head back, biting down onto his coiled fingers in a failing effort to silence himself.  
  
A groan ripped itself from Rei’s throat as Kai leant down, taking all of him into his hot mouth. Rei moaned loudly, abandoning the efforts to silence his cries as Kai’s tongue lapped against the tangible texture, sucking hard as he drove his head down hard. “K-Kai! I’m – I’m gonna-”  
  
Suddenly a banging was heard at the door. Rei cracked and eye open. “K-Kai…the door-”  
“Ignore it,” Kai muttered around his erection, sending delicious vibrations through Rei’s body, making him arch off the mattress, crying out again.  
“I KNOW YOU’RE IN THERE-”  
“Kai…?”  
“Ignore it,” Kai told him, coming back up, squeezing the tip with his mouth before going back down again.  
-I CAN HERE YOU AT IT! AREN’T YOU EVER FINISHED! YOU WERE AT IT ALL NIGHT AND NOW _AGAIN_! YOU’VE GOT THE FUCKING _STAYING POWER_ OF THE DURACELL BUNNIES! STOP FUCKING EACH OTHER SENSELESS AND ANSWER THE DOOR!” Rei groaned in negation as Kai pulled off completely.  
“I think that’s Erika from upstairs, maybe we should answer,” said Kai. Still gasping for breath and desperate for release, Rei struggled for words.  
“Well there’s a hard on that’s your responsibility under there, so I think it’d be bad if I went.”  
“Valid point,” he replied with a dirty smirk. “One Minute!” The boy called to the person banging on the door.  
“A minute! I do have _some_ stamina you-” He cut off as Kai sucked hard on him, stroking his sacs gently. Rei shuddered as he felt Kai moving up and down over his member even faster than before. The Chinese boy’s back arched off the mattress, as he spilled himself into Kai’s mouth.  
  
 **OKAY, SAFE TO READ. JUST TAKE NOTICE THAT SOMEONE KNOCKED AT THE DOOR DURING KAI AND REI'S *COUGH* SESSION ^_^**  
  
Kai came back up to kiss Rei’s forehead gently, smiling at him. Rei gave him a breathless smile in return.  
“Maybe you should get that.”  
“Why me?”  
“Because I’m gonna clean up your mess.”  
“Yeah, right. More like you don’t want anyone to see you with your hair non-primped.” Kai smirked.  
“That…and I’m gonna go deal with the hard on that’s _your_ responsibility.” Rei cast a glance down to Kai’s crotch, blushing furiously.  
“A-Are, you sure you…don’t want m-me to-” Kai planted a kiss on his lips, before pulling away.  
“It’s okay, besides, you should get the door. Rei nodded, getting to his feet and pulling on his discarded pants that had lain on the floor from the night before.  
  
Pulling on a random shirt, Rei rushed into the living area as the knocking became louder than ever, pulling open the front door. Rei blinked as he was met with a fuming dark haired girl.  
“Uh…hello?” The girl eyed him curiously.  
“Well…that Hiwatari is worse than I thought. Bringing a girl over. Doesn’t his roommate care that you’re always fucking each other in there?” Rei’s eyes widened. _Again?! Am I really that girly?! That does it - me – scissors - cutting hair - now!  
_ “Err…I’m not a girl. And I _am_ Kai’s roommate. And you’ve met me before, you’re Erika, right?” She looked at him in confusion.  
“And…you are?”  
“Rei, Rei Kon. Umm, we met once,” she still looked confused, “I was with Zeo, and-”  
“-Oh, I see, you’re one of Tala’s lot are ya?” Rei’s brow furrowed. Did she mean one of them as in their friend? Or one of them as in… _one of them_?  
“Well I guess you look the type…but I never would have guessed Hiwatari…I mean…he’s so good-looking…and reserved…” Rei fought to withhold a sneer. “Anyways, I just came to tell ya to keep your homosexual shit to yourselves. Me and the rest of the block don’t wanna hear you fags fucking each other into the ground. Got it?”  
“Erika, you just had to say.”  
“What?” she asked, looking surprised at Rei’s reaction.  
“If you had told us before that my vocal homosexual lovemaking upset you…I would have worked on my voice and asked Tala and all the others over for a gang-bang.” A disgusted look overcame her features. And Rei smiled triumphantly. “Incidentally, if you hear screams of ecstasy mixed with pain, don’t worry. The guys might be over later, we’re gonna try a bit of fisting.” She sneered, running up the hall. “Bondage before bed, it’s the only way to go!” he called with a successful smirk, shutting the door behind him.  
  
Walking back into the bedroom, Rei saw Kai had remade the bed with fresh sheets.  
“Who was it?”  
“Erika, interfering _bi-a-tch_ …” Kai smirked.  
“Oh, the village idiot called.”  
“Which one.”  
“The smack-head.”  
“Tyson?”  
“Whatever, the point is he wants us and the others to meet up in the college cafeteria for lunch.” Rei smiled.  
“Sounds good. What’s the time anyway?” Kai glanced at the clock, (which he’d plugged back in).  
“Eleven-Forty-Five.”  
“So,” continued Rei in a coquettish tone. “That gives us… _plenty_ of time to _clean ourselves up_...” Kai smiled at him, immediately catching on. “What d’ya say we have a shower?”  
“Depends, you in there with me?” Rei leant up on tiptoes, snaking his arms round Kai’s neck.  
“Naturally…”  
“Then okay,” replied Kai, “But have the breakfast I made for you first.” Rei smiled.  
“Why? Gonna feed it to me?” Kai’s dirty smirk broadened.  
“What a better way to have it?” he replied with a smile, leaning down to capture his lips in a kiss. _Why do I think my ass is only in for a thorough ravaging? I’m never gonna be able to sit down again…_  
  


***

Though Kai seemed to find Rei’s comeback to Erika’s complaining and homophobia hilarious, Rei himself wasn’t so sure. It felt good to throw her attitude to homosexuals back in her face, but he was sure Kai would suffer in the long run. Walking across the campus to the cafeteria, Rei’s gaze flickered to the slate-haired boy frequently, thoughts raging a storm in his head. _How am I supposed to behave around him now? Am I supposed to pretend to be his friend still? Or does he want to be open about the relationship? Yeah, right,_ his opposing monologue thought, _look where the open relationship got him and Wyatt the last time he was seeing a guy. True,_ he agreed, watching the sunlight shimmer over the boy’s hair. _And he didn’t even say he loved me back, am I just some ‘thing’ for him to release his sexual stress on? Plus he’s hardly being open with our relationship at the moment; aren’t couples supposed to hold hands and stuff? At least that’s what I’ve seen…me having no first hand experience…  
  
_ “Rei?” Rei snapped out of his pensive state, noticing that Kai was holding open the door to the cafeteria for him. Smiling awkwardly, Rei walked in first, looking around to see where Tala and the others were. “There they are.” Rei looked to where Kai indicated, and swallowed hard as he saw the clump of guys that had made Kevin nervous the night before at the café, occupying the tables that they had to walk through to get to where Tala, Zeo and the others sat, not having noticed the two that just walked in. “Rei? Are you okay?” Rei looked to him, and nodded with a false smile.  
“Sure, why-”  
“-You just seem a little, spacey. Is it something I’ve said?” _No, more like something you haven’t said.  
_ “No, of course not, I’m just a little hazy from the hot shower, ya know?” Kai threw him a lecherous look.  
“That stint under the hot water with me spun your head that much?” Rei flushed, and Kai laughed slightly.  
“Come on.” Rei’s eyes snapped open as Kai coolly took his hand, walking towards where the others were seated.  
  
Walking a little faster to be closer to Kai, the raven-haired boy felt a familiar anxiety fill him up as he noted how the menacing looking group paused what they were doing to look at them. Rei gasped as he lost his footing, falling forwards. He looked up at Kai as he caught him, steadying him back on his own feet, hands on his shoulders. “Sticking that leg out again Bryan?” Rei looked to see the silver-haired man who had tripped him up, wearing a smug look on his face. Kai sneered, squeezing Rei’s shoulder softly. “Don’t blame ya; with genital herpes it must be hard to keep your legs together.” The surrounding people burst into laughter, a falsely nice smirk befalling Kai’s features as he turned to walk away.  
  
Aoki looked to his silver-haired friend, who was seething with anger. _Fucking fag, who does he think he is? Thinking he can talk to us like that,_ he thought, getting to his feet.  
“Hey Hiwatari! Who’s your _girlfriend_? That the new _defective_ slut you moved onto after you tired out the last one? _Wyatt_ , wasn’t he called?” Kai lunged at him, knocking the dark-haired boy off his feet.  
“Kai Stop!” Rei screamed. Slamming his back onto the table and into the plates of food there, Kai’s crimson eyes were ablaze with fury as his hand crushed against the boy’s windpipe. “STOP IT KAI, YOU’LL KILL HIM!” Aoki smirked nastily as he felt the pressure on his throat increase.  
“Didn’t take you long before you _infected_ the newbie with your _fag-disease_. It’s like it’s infectious,” he choked out, making Kai even angrier. “Or maybe it’s that no woman will have him, eh?”  
“Kai let go of him!”  
“What is he? Dysfunctional? So miniscule he had no choice but to be your _joy-ride_?” Rei’s eyes glassed over hurtfully, still holding onto Kai’s shoulder but no longer trying to pull him off, just staring at Aoki. Why did this guy want to hurt him so much? He didn’t even know him.  
  
Rei yelped as he felt a hand on his arm, twisting it back. Looking over his shoulder he saw the silver-haired man again, evidently coming to his friend’s aid. Turning round, Kai released Aoki, smacking Bryan square in the jaw, making him lose his hold on Rei, stumbling backwards slightly. As Aoki edged sideways to escape, Kai slammed his head against the table, regaining his hold.  
“ _Did_ I say you could go anywhere?” Rei’s eyes widened as the group enclosed in around them. _Shit…  
_ “Is there a problem here?” The group scattered slightly as Tala walked into their midst, Zeo and Tyson close behind. None of the group answered, sent into a silence as Tala looked round at them ominously. Tala walked forwards, patting Kai’s shoulder, and Kai sneered, releasing the slightly quivering Aoki.  
“Let’s go, Kai.” Kai’s bangs fell into his eyes, so that Rei couldn’t see his expression, and he followed the two as they turned to walk away.  
  
“I’m gonna get you Hiwatari…you and you’re ugly bitch…” Aoki muttered nastily. Within a second, Kai pulled out of Tala’s grip, turning on his heel, seizing the table-edge, and throwing it over, Aoki underneath.  
“You can try,” retorted Kai sharply, his voice quiet, “along with anyone else!” Directing his words at the group around them as well as him Kai turned once more. “But you’ll all end up in a coma…”  
“Like Wyatt did?” Kai’s eyes flashed again as Bryan spoke, but Tala caught him before he could dish out the payback. However it didn’t matter. The eyes of everyone in the circle, widened, as Rei whacked Bryan in the jaw. Catching him off-guard, the silver-haired man stumbled, holding his twice-bruised mouth in agony. Having thrown all he had into the punch, Rei staggered slightly, holding his fist to his chest. This time, nobody had anything left to say, as Kai, Rei and the others moved to sit down at their table, where Max and Kevin had been watching.  
  
“Way to go Rei,” squealed Max happily, hopping up and down in his seat as the joined them. “Gave him the old one-two!” Zeo smiled at his hyper friend as he sat down next to Kai.  
“I must admit, I was surprised too. I never would have pictured you as a sadist.” Rei smirked, setting himself the other side of Kai, and opposite Kevin and Tala.  
“No…he was just being so arrogant.” Kai looked at him, knowing full well that that punch was in his, Kai’s defence.  
“Well you and Kai showed him and that whelp,” concluded Tyson, as they looked to where Bryan and the others were moving the table off of the unfortunately not unconscious Aoki.  
  
“But you should have turned the other cheek,” muttered Zeo quietly, drawing his friend’s attention.  
“They won’t squeal on us,” replied Kai, not looking up at them. “They’re heads are too big, they’d never ask for help in dealing with opponents.”  
“I didn’t mean they’d go to _the Dean_.”  
“Why, wouldn’t they?” asked Rei, and Kevin turned to him.  
“The dean is gay,” he said with a smirk, bringing a smile to Rei’s face. “They’re hardly gonna go and say ‘Kai threw a table at us, oh but he did it cause we were ragging on him for diddling his roommate’s-”  
“-yes Kevin,” ended Zeo, “the point is, they’re the biggest group on campus.” Once again, he had all of his friend’s attention. “They could make life for us here _very_ difficult,” he paused, casting a glance over to the group, who were reassembling their food on the table. “We’ve always got stick for being different. But…they’re not gonna stop now until they’ve beaten our confidence of who and _what_ we are, into the ground…”  
“Well they won’t!” Tala argued, slamming his fists on the table. “They’ve got a problem with us being what we are? They have a problem with us holding hands and having affection for guys? Well who gives a fuck?!”  
“Tala-”  
“-No Kev, I’m not gonna deny myself for their satisfaction and neither should the rest of you-”  
“-Well maybe…we should.” Suddenly they all looked to Kevin, whose eyes would not rise from his lap.  
“What?”  
“Maybe…we should just…not do this anymore.”  
  
  
TBC


	20. Just A Normality

_Just A Normality_

_~Twenty~_

 

 “What did you just say?” asked Tala. Kevin couldn’t meet his eyes.

“I didn’t mean not be gay, _obviously_ that’s impossible, especially for Zeo,” the said boy smirked, “just that…maybe we should cool it for a little while.”

“Kev-”

“-No one wants to see guy couples together, so maybe, we shouldn’t act so… _out_.”

“It’s no different to a guy and girl-”

“-But it is! You say that but it’s a whole world of difference. And that difference makes us doomed to suffer like this for the rest of our lives, and I can’t take it anymore!” Tala slipped his hand over the boy’s who pulled it away. “It’s driving me crazy…you say that you can protect us Tala, but don’t you think I can still hear them whispering behind their hands, watching us whatever we do, wherever we are? Because I _can_ , and I just…can’t do it anymore…” A short silence fell over them once more.

 

 “Kevin,” said Rei softly, and the green-haired boy looked across the table at him. “I do understand…I know I’m a newbie in this group, and I haven’t suffered it half as long as you guys have…but I’ve always been the little guy that everyone used to push around, which made me too insecure to ever…even try to become close to someone…” Casting a sideways glance to the slate-haired boy, Rei noted that Kai was watching him intently.

“Is that why you were so…why I was your first?” Kai asked under his breath, so only Rei could hear. Swallowing nervously, Rei nodded.

“What I mean is,” Rei continued, “when I came here, I thought I could start afresh, and never have to suffer like that again. But, it turns out, fate had other plans…” Each of his friends looked into their laps, almost guilty for having drawn him into their despair. “But…even though I know they’ll never let me live it down, and that I’ll never just be able to – _blend in_ …I wouldn’t give up the last month or so, for the world.” Kevin smiled.

“Aww, Rei you slushy romantic you,” teased Tyson, ruffling up the boy’s hair. After being swatted away by Rei, Tyson regained his seat, the mood lightened somewhat.

 

 “Quite a speech Kitten,” whispered Kai, for Rei’s ears only, as the others continued eating.

“I thought I told you to stop calling me that,” replied Rei, Kai smirked.

“And since when do I listen to you, besides, it’s a cute name for you.”

“Well I don’t wanna be cute! I’m not a girl, I’m a guy!” he hissed.

“Not in this relationship you’re not.” Rei flinched as Kai touched his hand softly under the table, making Kai and the other’s stare at him.

“What’s wrong?” asked Tala. Rei shook his head, fighting against Kai’s grip as he tried to look at it.

“Don’t be such a baby.”

“I’m not!” he scowled as Kai overpowered him, lifting his hand above the table. Zeo let out a low whistle.

“That’s gotta hurt,” he said, noting the bruising over his skin that was starting to appear. Rei tried to brush it off, failing dismally with Kai still holding his hand, making him feel uncomfortable, to say the least.

“Yeah, well I’m not exactly used to smacking guys with the build of a rock, round the face,” the raven-haired boy stated, wincing as Kai’s fingers brushed over the blemish.

“What I recommend for that is ice and-” Tala was cut off as Kai lowered his lips over the bruising, making Rei flush a similar colour to Tala’s hair. “-or, that could work too.” Pulling away slightly, still holding Rei’s gaze, an awkward silence fell over the table once more.

 

 “Ok, who are you and what have you done with Kai?” Max shot at the slate-haired boy, causing that familiar smirk to creep over his face. Rei stared fixedly at the table, wishing the ground would open up and swallow him whole. _Kai is so embarrassing!_

 

 “So guys, you gonna do some more of that ice-capades stuff anytime soon?” asked Tyson. Rei, finally losing his blush, looked briefly to Kai, before the said boy spoke.

“Brooklyn handles the competitions, I won’t know until he tells me.”

“Oh, Brook says he wants to talk to you,” interjected Zeo, making everyone look at him. “Well I _do_ kinda sleep with the guy,” he explained, “it’s amazing what you learn whilst having your former best-friend’s guardian’s dick up your-” he cut off as a chip collided with the side of his head. Zeo smiled, looking over to the culprit, a thoroughly disgusted look of the boy’s face. “Heh, sorry about that Kai.”

 

*                 *                 *

 

 Splitting their separate ways after their _eventful_ lunch, Max, Tyson and Zeo broke away from the others, leaving Kai, Rei, Tala and Kevin walking together towards their classes. “And next is...”

“Drum role,” Kevin smirked at his lover’s expression, “he’s using his brain – this could get dangerous.” Tala scowled falsely, before planting a kiss on his lover’s lips. “Tala…” Kevin growled, though this time with an embarrassed smile, not anger like before.

“I.C.T, Tala,” Kai reminded him, opening the door to the class for Tala to step through. Rei frowned.

“Computers?”

“Yeah, what of it?” asked Kai.

“It’s just, I wouldn’t picture you and Tala as the nerdy kind is all. How do computers come into figure skating?” _Probably just surfs the internet for free porn…_

“It doesn’t,” Kai replied, “it just looks good on a resume, besides, I won’t always be this athletic, I can hardly be doing ‘Death-Spirals’ and ‘Axel Jumps’ when I’m forty, now can I?” Rei smiled.

“For what it’s worth, I’d watch you.” Kai rolled his eyes.

“Damn right you would.”

 

 “So, Tala?” Rei asked the daydreaming auburn haired boy.

“Hmm?

“What _exactly_ is it you want to be?” An almost unnoticeable flush became his face, as he shuffled his feet distractedly. Rei frowned at the indistinguishable grumble, that he supposed was a reply. “What?”

“A counsellor,” admitted Tala, but clearly this time, a tint of shame to his voice. Rei cocked his head slightly.

“A counsellor?” repeated Rei, and Tala rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, yeah, I know it’s stupid, but I-”

“-No. It’s not I…” Rei broke off slightly, confused at the look on Kai’s face. “What kind of counsellor?” Tala seemed to brighten at the notion that Rei was interested, and not mocking him – not that he’d dare.

“A child counsellor. I wanna help kids who’re either too scared or too emotional, or too ashamed of their lives to try and ask for help.”

“Like, for abused, or bullied, or neglected kids?” suggested Rei, and Tala nodded.

“Yeah.” The raven-haired boy couldn’t help but notice the pride Kevin suddenly held in his eyes for the red-head that now stood with his arm round him. Rei couldn’t recall when he’d ever seen Kevin look at him like that before.

 

 “That’s a pretty dedicated career choice, what inspired you to that?” asked Rei. Tala scratched the back of his neck.

“Well, you see-”

“-Tala.”

“What?” Tala asked, questioning Kai’s interruption.

“Class.” He looked confused for a minute, and then he seemed to get it.

“Oh yeah, right. Anyway, see ya at mine after class, okay Kev?” Kevin nodded, taking his books of Tala, who had been carrying them for him. Shifting his bag higher upon his shoulder, Rei turned to follow the green-haired boy.

“Rei?”

“Yeah?” He turned just quickly enough to see Kai approach him, brushing a brief kiss over his lips. When he pulled back, Rei was stunned, as were half the students that had paused halfway in the halls to hover over the scene, making Rei blush. Kai however, seemed to be ignoring them.

“I’ll meet you from your class, okay?” Rei nodded dumbly in response, watching Kai disappear with Tala through the doorway.

 

 “What was that about Kai?” asked Tala as they took their seats. Kai looked at him.

“Whatever do you mean?”

“Since when do you shower _anyone_ with affection in public?” Kai smirked, typing in his username and password.

“It’s his first relationship; he deserves to be romanced a little.” Tala couldn’t help but smile at how much his friend had changed since they’d last spoke like this with each other. “And whether we’re both guys are not, he shouldn’t have to hide it…right now he’ll be ‘the hills are alive with the sound of music’ like, and it’s kind of hard to do that quietly.”

“I was just saying…I never picture you as an ‘out’ gay.”

“I’m not gay…I’m not attracted to guys.” Tala snorted at his words. “Not _guys plural_ …just…Rei.” Again, Tala smiled. More than anything, it was just good to have his friend back again, and to see him happy for the first time in years.

 

 Meanwhile, back in the halls, Kai had left Rei still reeling from that very _public_ kiss.

“Hello? Rei, anybody home?” Rei flickered back to reality as Kevin waved a hand in front of him, and suddenly just remembered that everyone was staring at him. Kevin tugged his arm, steering him towards the direction of their class.

“Maybe I should have kissed him back…” Rei thought aloud, and Kevin smiled.

“Maybe, but I wouldn’t probe those three’s pasts too much, Rei.” Rei looked at him oddly.

“Who’s pasts?”

“Tala, Kai and Zeo…I know most of it, living with Tala in the foreign exchange thing kinda left me in the middle of it but…in their case, it’s better not to bring up their past. They’ve finally put it behind them, and it should stay there.”

“I only asked what he wanted to be-”

“-But that’s so much more integrated with their past than you know.” Rei stopped a few metres short of their classroom.

“How so?”

“Don’t you know?” Kevin asked, stopping as well.

“Know what?”

“Tala wants to become a child counsellor because _Kai_ was abused as a child.” Rei’s eyes widened.

“W-What?”

 

 

TBC

 

 


	21. Untold Past

  
_Untold Past  
~Twenty One~  
  
  
  
_  
“What did you mean? Kai was abused?” whispered Rei to Kevin as their professor continued to scribble nonsense words across the whiteboard. Kevin cast a careful glance to the man, before meeting Rei’s eyes.  
“Kai lost his parents when he was really young, Tala wouldn’t say how or why, but in any case that left Kai to go and live with his Grandfather.” Rei frowned slightly, totally forgetting to try and jot down the notes at the same time as listening as he usually did, this class renowned for chatter, so their conversation wouldn’t have been noticed in any case. “His parents left him the wealth of their estate and most of the Hiwatari family, but he couldn’t access it himself until he was older, leaving his Grandfather the beneficiary of all Kai’s money.  
  
“When Kai was growing up, he was apparently a really withdrawn, solemn kid, and Tala said that his Grandfather, and his cousins that were living with him, got frustrated with not being able to pull him out of his solitary attitude, and steadily started losing their temper with him easier and easier. Eventually, when Kai was around seven, Kai’s Grandfather got into debt, and began to squander all Kai’s money, and completely neglect Kai who he’d sent to boarding school for youngsters, to keep him out of his way. When the allowance for that year had completely dried up, they couldn’t afford the bills for the school, so Kai had to come home. Which is when Kai’s childhood really took a nosedive into the rocks.” Rei blinked, he’d always known Kai’s life wasn’t as simple or pleasant as it should have been for a little rich boy, but he’d hoped if it was something this intricate Kai would have told him. Obviously, there was _a lot_ Kai didn’t entrust him with.  
  
“When Kai returned home, he had aptitude test results, to show how he’d been getting on, only because he was so reserved, he never asked when he couldn’t get something, so his results were really low. His grandfather went crazy, saying Kai was stupid and accusing him of having learning disabilities, and yelled at him for wasting his money on his education. Too thick-headed to notice his mistake, and too selfish and cold to bother to close enough to Kai to hear him say so, he hired a home tutor, for Kai, which was our very own Zeo’s _cuddle-monkey_ ,” he said with a smirk, Rei smiled.  
“Brooklyn was his tutor?” Kevin nodded.  
“Brooklyn was firstly hired to teach Kai, since his grandfather thought he needed special help, and since Kai was to be the heir to everything, he couldn’t exactly have him not educated to their snobbish standards.” Rei detected malice in the remark, and smiled slightly to his friend.  
  
“Of course, Brooklyn got closer to Kai than anybody else did before, and noticed that Kai didn’t have any kind of disabilities other than his quietness. But telling Voltaire, Kai’s grandfather that he was mistaken was the complete wrong thing to do. Not able to accept that Kai was simply a quiet person, Voltaire ritually resorted to attempting to beat the silence out of him.” Rei frowned, why would anyone do that to a child? How could anyone get away with it?! “Of course Brooklyn noticed, Kai was sporting wounds, and when he realised what was going on, he knew something had to be done.”  
“So…what did he do? He didn’t…try for revenge did he?” asked Rei warily, Kevin shook his head.  
“Tala said that Brooklyn somehow managed to get Kai away, and just didn’t bring him back.”  
“So, he brought Kai here, where he went to school with Tala, and Zeo and the others?” Kevin nodded. “So, what happened next, with Wyatt, and-”  
“-I…I’m not sure about that myself, but…what I do know…I think is…I think it’s up to Kai to tell you.” Rei sighed. He understood. If Kai didn’t trust him enough to tell him anything, then maybe he shouldn’t now. But hell if he was going to give Kai a piece of his mind when he saw him!  


***

The end of lesson sneaked up on the two boys, who hadn’t taken down any notes and just _new_ they were going to regret it tenfold at the next quiz they had. Filing out the room along with the rest of the class, Rei stopped dead in the halls, as he saw Kai waiting for him. “Err…well I’ve gotta go meet Tala, see ya later.” Rei didn’t even acknowledge his friend’s departure; he couldn’t help but look at Kai, and feel hurt that he wasn’t trusted with his secrets, even after what they’d shared the night before.  
“Ready to go?” asked Kai, Rei nodded dumbly, he couldn’t seem to find his voice, and maybe it was better that way, at least until he calmed down a little. _Which is a good idea, considering all I wanna do right now is **punch** him!  
  
_ Making the rest of the way back to their dorm in silence, Rei didn’t even bother to look up from the floor as Kai opened the front door for him to step in.  
“Alright, what’s wrong with you?” asked Kai, closing the door behind him.  
“Nothing…” He didn’t even have to turn round to know that Kai was unsatisfied with his answer. “I’m fine, really, I just – my ass just hurts – from last night is all,” he said, faking a smile. Kai sighed as the raven-haired boy kicked his shoes off, and did the same.  
  
“Rei?” Rei blinked, but didn’t turn to face him. The other boy’s voice sounded so… _worried?_ Was that even possible?  
“Hmm?”  
“Why did you never tell me – about your past? I wouldn’t have gloated like that over your body if you had.” Rei turned on his heel so quickly that it made Kai jump.  
“Well why didn’t you tell me about _your_ past huh?! You don’t trust me with anything! So why should I trust you?!” Kai looked utterly bewildered.  
“What’s brought this on?”  
“Does that really matter?! All that does is that you fucking sleep with me, make me fucking fall in love with you and you won’t even tell me what’s happened to you! Damn it Kai-” he yelled, throwing his coat down on the floor, “-I had to hear it from Kevin, from _Kevin!_ Do you know how degrading that is?! That a guy that hates you knows more about you than your own fucking lover does?!” Kai blinked.  
“Finished?” he asked calmly.  
“No I’m fucking not you son of a-” Rei cut off as Kai leapt forward, seizing his face in his hands, and crushing a kiss against his lips. Rei shoved him back, fighting to break free of the embrace Kai was forcing him into. “Get off – Get off, Kai!” The slate-haired boy pulled him tight against his chest, where Rei punched him hard. “Don’t fucking touch me you bastard!” Kai flinched as Rei slapped him across the face, the smaller boy stumbling back, a little surprised and regretful at his actions.  
  
“W-What…What did Kevin tell you, exactly?” asked Kai softly, watching tears of anger stream down the raven-haired boy’s face.  
“Just your childhood…sketchy information about-”  
“-Is that what you want? Information?” Rei said nothing. If Kai didn’t know, what he wanted by now then he wasn’t going to waste his energy telling him. Kai sighed once more, setting himself down on the sofa, resting his arms on the sides and leaning his head back slightly. “Sit.” Without really thinking, Rei sat on the edge of the table, anger still burning in his golden eyes. “You really want to know? Everything?” Rei nodded. “Then I’ll tell you… _everything_ …”  
  
A short silence fell between them, as though Kai was gathering the repressed memories that he’d kept bottled up inside for so long. After a few moments, he spoke. “Kevin told you a lot I imagine, interfering asshole he is, but…maybe you should hear it…from me…” Rei was silent, if this was when Kai was finally going to open up, he wasn’t going to put his foot in it, and interrupt. “My parents…were the ones who bore the wealth of the Hiwatari family, and my Grandfather, Voltaire, resented their always giving money to charities and never allowing him more than a certain allowance out of their pay. You see my Grandfather used his money to influence members of flourishing companies, causing thousands to lose their jobs, and homes, and my parents frowned on that. When I was born, my mother, being so young, didn’t cope very well in labour with me, and fell really ill... _life threateningly_ ill. My father, who adored her more than anything, literally worried himself until he…” he paused for a moment, not able to meet Rei’s eyes, “…until his mental health deteriorated…” Rei’s eyed widened – he didn’t know what to say.  
  
“As it happened, my mother pulled through her illness, but she always had a weak constitution, and was constantly worn down. She had the full weight of the Hiwatari estate on her shoulders, had a newborn, and looked after my father. Eventually, she wore herself down. My grandfather was constantly trying to take advantage of my father, who had everything in his name, even though my mother was the Hiwatari.” Rei frowned.  
“But then why is your name Hiwatari?” Kai smirked.  
“It passes down through the men in the family, and I have to bear the name to inherit it, so when I was born I was called Kai, which was actually my father’s surname.” Rei nodded in understanding, before realizing he’d interrupted, and fell silent again. “But my father wasn’t always completely out of it, he could have a perfectly sane conversation with you at most times, and he could name the fifty states, and he knew who me and my mother were. He used to play with me just as if he were no different than the other fathers, and in my eyes, he wasn’t, I didn’t know why he would sometimes shout and throw things, or why my mother would have to call people to try and restrain him.”  
  
Kai stopped a moment, suddenly falling a little more quiet. “But as I got older, he grew worse and worse, and when I was five…I…I can remember it clearly…but…my father had a particularly bad spell, and had knocked himself unconscious. It was in the middle of the night, so there was no one to look after me while my mother left, or anyone to drive the limo, so my mother drove us in one of the other cars, me in the back with my father and her driving to the hospital to make sure my father was alright. But…” Rei felt his own eyes glass over as Kai swallowed hard, ridding himself of the brewing tears. “The toll of doing too much, too soon, with her weak constitution, finally hit breaking point…and she had a seizure at the wheel, and we went off the road. The car that was driving alongside of was said to have stopped, and the woman ran to find a phone to call an ambulance, while their child and the father stayed. I remember her saying she’d go for help, and turning in my seat. I remember looking forward seeing my mother’s hair in curtain round her face, damp with blood, resting forwards on the steering wheel.” Kai paused again, his voice becoming shaky. “I remember my father, still unconscious from before, at my side, but then suddenly the man I’d heard came to the window, and he told me to move as far away from the window as possible. When I did, he broke the window, and leant in, unbuckling me and pulling me through the window.  
  
“I remember…” Tears were falling down Rei’s face at this point, watching the same well up in those crimson eyes of the boy sitting in front of him. “…I remember screaming for my mother, since I thought he was trying to take me away from her, but he climbed up the steep roadside, and set me down by his own son, the little boy of about my age, and told me he was going back for her and my father. He told the boy to take care of me, and to not leave me, before running back down the roadside into the ditch where the car was.” A tear escaped Kai’s eye, falling onto his hand that clenched at his pants. “I remember the fire, and the ground shaking, as the car went up in flames.” Rei’s eyes widened, leaping forward and capturing his lover in a tight embrace. Kai rested is head against Rei’s. “The boy stayed with me…” he continued, “He did as he promised and held me until his mother returned with help, a little too late…” Rei sobbed against Kai’s hair, if he’d known it was that truly horrible he never would have forced Kai into admitting it.  
“Kai…I’m so sorry, what I-”  
“-Rei?”  
“Yeah?”  
“The boy…was Tala.” Rei pulled back to look at him.  
“Tala?” Kai nodded. “But…this happened in Russia, where you lived, right?” Kai nodded again. “But then how-”  
“-Tala’s mother, after losing her husband in trying to save my family, always kept a motherly eye on me, and for a while after the accident, she looked after me, until all my parent’s affairs were sorted. She was even the one who came with me to their funeral.” Rei watched him in confusion, this didn’t add up to what Kevin had told him at all.  
  
“But soon…my grandfather called for me, and became my legal guardian. He never got over the anger at my parents for leaving me everything, and nothing to him. And he took that anger out on me…from the moment he took me in, he never failed to show his resentment towards me, every chance he got.” Kai wet his lips nervously before he continued. “Kevin told you about my quietness, I suppose?” Rei nodded.  
“And that he abused you when Brooklyn told him you were just quiet, not-”  
“-Brooklyn,” sighed Kai with a little smile, “he was a better carer for me than my grandfather, I was so shocked at first, that here was someone who didn’t beat me, or yell at me, even when I got things wrong. And when my grandfather was out, he even used to take me out to visit Tala and his mother.” Kai smiled slightly. “His kindness shone a light on my very dark world, and it was the only reason I ever bothered to continue to talk at all, and to endure my grandfather’s beating…that got steadily worse…  
  
“I was never loved, and my cousins that were only related to me by marriage, and therefore not really Hiwatari’s, were always spoilt, and I was always neglected, but Brooklyn, used to dote on me to make up for it, and was constantly buying me things out of his minimum wage.” A half-hearted smile crept across Kai’s face at the thought, before fading swiftly. “But when I was seven, my grandfather found some of the things Brooklyn had given me; he accused me of stealing them, and beat me harder than I’d ever had it in my life. I never told Brooklyn – I didn’t dare to, but…in my physical education lesson, he noticed I was limping, and insisting on looking.” Kai paused again, and Rei watched him carefully. “That was the only time I’d ever seen Brooklyn so angry…but…he never told my grandfather he knew, just carried on like nothing had happened under his gaze. However…in secret, he was planning something…something that no one suspected.  
  
“A week after I’d taken that beating, he told my grandfather he was taking me to a school to have my books marked and checked, to prove to the authorities that I was receiving an education. He told me that too, but when we got out of Brooklyn’s car at the edge of my grandfather’s estate, Brooklyn was different. He was suspicious, and kept looking over his shoulder. Before he let me out, he pulled his jacket up, and pulled on sunglasses. Picking me up, and keeping my head covered, he told me to lie down in the back seat of this other car that was parked next to us. I did so, and he threw a blanket over me, and told me to stay quiet. Through the fabric of the blanket, I saw him push a large sports bag on the seat next to me, and shut the door. I waited for what seemed like ages, and I for a moment thought I should sit up and see where he’d got to but…”  
“But?”  
“But suddenly the front doors swung open and I heard people rush in, and then the doors slammed. I felt the lurch of the car as it sped forwards, and I peered round the corner of the blanket, and saw Brooklyn, looking all undercover agent in the driver’s seat, and Tala sitting on his mother’s lap on the passenger side.” Rei looked slightly uplifted.  
“Brooklyn was stealing you?” Kai smirked.  
“Tala and his mother were moving to the US – here, and Brooklyn somehow managed to make us reservations on the plane under Tala’s surname, so my grandfather couldn’t trace us.” Rei brightened.  
“Isn’t that child napping?” asked Rei, and Kai smirked again.  
“Yeah, but I far from minded. Besides, it wasn’t as if he was stealing me,” he joked, “when I was growing up, Brooklyn always said he merely borrowed me and never gave me back.” Rei shared the smile, before letting Kai continue.  
  
“Brooklyn had left everything he had behind, and only brought the things that were precious to _me_. For a long while, Brooklyn and I carried on under the name of Ivanoh – Tala’s name, I even went to school under that name.”  
“But…how does figure skating fit into all this?” Kai tilted his head with a sad smile.  
“My parents used to take me when I was a little kid, but when they died, that dream obviously did too…but…then Brooklyn found something very important to me.” Rei frowned as Kai got to his feet, leaving the room. On the verge of following him, Rei stopped as Kai returned, clutching something to his chest. He regained his seat, handing him the familiar looking picture frame, the one that had been broken back when this had all started. Rei looked down through the glass at the people in the photo, and then back up to Kai.  
“Kai, this is…”  
“Me,” he said, directing to the small child, “and my mother, and father,” Rei looked at the dark-blue-haired woman and the man beside her and Kai, who looked the splitting image of Kai himself, as he was now. Rei’s fingers brushed over the glass, golden orbs scanning over the child Kai, standing in the ice rink with his skates on, his parents leaning over in the stands to hug him. “That photo was taken at the competition for children, the first one that I won, and the last happy experience I shared before my father and mother passed away.” Rei bit his lower lip, Kai’s life was so sad, and yet…the Wyatt side of it hadn’t even appeared.  
  
Kai sighed, staring at the photo as he continued explaining. “So Brooklyn used to take me for secret lessons, it turned out Brooklyn used to when he was younger too, which is how he became my coach. And when we came here, I was able to devote my every waking moment to it, without the need to hide it. But…when I was twelve, I came into my money, and in order to receive it, I had to accept my real name, Hiwatari, and so, my grandfather found me.”  
“And he took you back?” Kai shook his head with a devilish smirk.  
“Since I had come into my fortune, I was in charge of my parent’s money now, and my grandfather, having squandered all his settlement money, and all of my child support money from my parents, would have been seriously in trouble if I’d have stopped the payments my parents had set to support him. Which I had the power to do now.” Rei smiled.  
“You sneak.” Kai seemed proud of the fact, as he gently took the photo from Rei’s hands.  
  
Kai stared back at the image of his parents and younger self for a moment, before seeming to awake from his daydream. “So…you lived with Brooklyn,” Kai nodded in reply, “so, how did you meet…meet-”  
“-Wyatt?” Rei nodded nervously, Wyatt was a delicate subject with Kai, it had the power to send him crazy back at the cafeteria when those boys had mentioned him, and Rei himself didn’t really want to upset Kai, when reliving his past seemed to have upset him enough.  
“Kai, you don’t have to-”  
“-No, it’s okay I…I said I’d tell you everything, so I will.”  
  
  
TBC


	22. Evanescent Bliss ~ Enduring Agony

_Evanescent Bliss ~ Enduring Agony_

_~Twenty Two~_

 

 A soft sigh flittered through Rei’s parted lips as he watched the back of Kai from the couch, the slate-haired boy turning and coming back to his side with an icepack in his hands. The Chinese boy regretted wincing earlier at the pain in his bruised knuckles, since it had interrupted Kai’s explanation. _Damn hand, damn Bryan’s jaw, damn Bryan’s mother for making a kid with such a hard jaw, damn his father for helping make such a son of a –_ “Ouch!” Kai smirked, pressing the icepack back over the bruising. “Be gentle why don’t ya?” Rei said sarcastically, swatting Kai’s hands away, taking charge of the pack himself. _Great Rei, now how are you supposed to get him to tell you about Wyatt without sounding pushy? I’m such a moron…owww…_

 

 “Does that feel a bit better?” asked Kai, referring to his injured hand. Rei nodded.

“Yeah, guess that’s what I get for being violent. Aoki got a table thrown at him, Bryan got smacked, and I got a broken fist.” Kai rolled his eyes.

“It’s not broken moron.”

“What do you know of my pain? _Owww_ …”

“Baby.”

“I’m not a baby, I-”

“-Shut up, moron.”

“I’m not a moron either! Will you just-”

“-Rei?”

“What?”

“Do you want to know, or what?” Rei blinked, looking away as he nodded his head slightly.

“D-Don’t think I’m just being nosy, that’s not it, I just…I want to know you…I want to know everything about you, because…” the boy flushed, “that’s what…lovers do…” Kai cocked his head slightly, a warm, but nevertheless sexy look over his face.

“What do lovers do?”

“They know each other better than anyone else does…they let each other into parts of their lives, and heart, and past, that are locked to everyone else.” A short silence fell between them, before Kai spoke.

“If you’re that ardent to know me better than anyone else…” Kai said softly, getting to his feet and moving over to the window, the last of the sun’s rays shining in through the glass and casting an array of warm colours over the thoughtful looking boy’s form. “Then I’ll tell you…why Wyatt died…and why it was my fault…”

 

 For a moment, Kai was lost in thought, just as before, probably finding words for everything that had happened to him. _It must be difficult…just letting it all out…but then again…maybe, in some ways it’s a relief to his mind. After carrying all this with him for so long…but all the same, the ‘Wyatt side’ of all this is something not even Tala knows, and he was so much more than Kai’s friend._ Rei broke from his own thought, and stared at his boyfriend. _Kai and I don’t share anywhere near the kind of bond he had with Wyatt,_ he thought sadly.

 

 “In some ways, you and Wyatt are exactly alike.” Rei looked over to him in confusion. “You both tried so hard to get into a heart that’s clearly locked; you both suddenly appeared into my life like some kind of amazing miracle. You’ve both suffered because you were with me…”

“Kai I-”

“-I don’t know if Kevin told you or not, since he seems to have a tendency for telling you stuff,” Rei smirked at the tone of annoyance in his voice. “But Kevin and Tala were in this exchange thing. Tala was a little…well…a little shit in his youth, being that our tight social circle was as gay as _‘Jack’_ from _‘Will and Grace’_ and needed defending an awful lot, especially with Zeo being – well, Zeo,” Rei smiled. “So when we were around fifteen, after all this anger management crap, they got him to go on the foreign exchange list, to channel his energies else where, and it ended up in Kevin coming here for three weeks, and Tala going there for three weeks. Well, for the first two days they were at each other’s throats, Kevin being straight and sharing a room with the leader of the gay mafia. Zeo and me thought they were going to kill each other, so were grateful when Kevin started to hang around more with Tyson and Max than with us, those two not really being in our group back then. But then Tyson and Max, (who were still very much a couple back then as they are now, by the way), threw a free-booze party in honour of Kevin’s arrival, and after half-an-hour me, Zeo, Tyson and Max found them at it under the dining room table.” Rei laughed slightly, that sounded like the Tala he knew. “After that they were inseparable, and they even called each other every night after that when the exchange was over.”

 

 “But, how does this involve…Wyatt?”

“Well Wyatt, who I’d never noticed before that night, was propped up against the dining room table. He never could hold his drink very well, and I guess was feeling a little queasy. But of course Zeo set him in his sights and set out to add him to that damn list of his.” Rei’s eyes widened.

“Zeo slept with Wyatt?!” Kai smirked.

“Nah, Wyatt was a little too innocent for him, but heck if Zeo did try, he was chatting him up almost all night.” A small smile showed on Kai’s face as he recalled the memory. “Finally I decided to rescue him from Zeo’s suffocating determination…but that’s when Tala and Kevin decided to get right into – _whatever_ they were doing under that damn table, and jolted it, which led to Wyatt being shoved forwards, and Zeo spilling his drink all over Wyatt.”

 

 Kai paused a moment, in which Rei was beginning to realize; all of Kai’s friends, at least, everyone in their current circle, had a part in the plot that led to Wyatt and Kai meeting each other. _Maybe that’s why it was so difficult, if not impossible for Kai to tell them whatever it was that happened to Wyatt. Kai thinks it’s his fault, and Wyatt was Tala and the others’ friend too – he doesn’t **want** them to know because he doesn’t want their blame, or their pitying looks…and I can’t say that I blame him; he has a hard enough time with his blame and hate of himself for whatever happened._ “That was the first time I spoke to Wyatt, when I offered to help him clean up, but…he just asked if I could drive him home.”

“So you did?”

“Yeah, well I couldn’t exactly say no could I? When one of my best friends had tried to molest him all night and the other caused a nice big stain in his shirt.” Rei smirked.

 

 “He asked if I could take the long way, so he could wait off a little of the alcohol, his parents being – well very overprotective of him. So I drove the long way, circling the block a few times to boot, and we just got talking.”

“About what?”

“Anything and Everything. In under an hour I felt like we knew each other better than anyone else. I felt a sudden need for him to know me completely.” Kai was gazing out of the window again by this point, obviously finding it hard telling Rei, his current boyfriend how much he loved his last boyfriend. “I drove him to this place that night, it was this outlook over the city, and at night, it was one of the most beautiful places in the world. The city lights looked like fireflies in the distance, it was just…” he broke off for a moment, wetting his lips slightly. “I told Wyatt everything – everything there was to me he knew, and I…It was like I was drawn to him, like he was some drug I couldn’t get enough of. I’d only just realised he existed a few hours ago and I found myself so in love with him I couldn’t explain.” Rei watched him quietly as he listened, and he could tell how much Kai must have, and must still love Wyatt by the tone of his voice. _I wonder if Kai will ever love me like he loved Wyatt…_

 

 “I kissed him, that night in the car, and…I think he was a little scared at first, but, he kissed back. After that, I couldn’t get him out of my mind. I was always with him, and when I wasn’t I was thinking about being with him. Tala, that asshole, loved teasing us about it, but when Kevin left he was in much the same state, which left the teasing to Zeo, Max and Tyson. Either way, we all started becoming closer as friends, and after a year, I think I even dared consider myself one of the happiest guys alive.” Rei smiled, but he couldn’t help but know that there was something horrible about to happen in this story, that would be what had torn Kai’s life apart.

 

 “W-What…what happened?” asked Rei quietly, partially wanting the answer to be _‘and they all live happily-ever after,’_ though he knew very well that wasn’t so. Kai sighed.

“Wyatt was overly supportive of the whole figure-skating thing, always pushing me to succeed, a lot like Brooklyn, especially once he found out that it was a passion that I shared with my parents.” Kai smiled sadly. “I guess…it was the only happy memory I actually have of my parents…” Rei’s eyes glazed over, he hated seeing Kai in so much pain, and he wished that he hadn’t been so adamant for Kai to be reliving all this.

 

 “I was at a high point in my career by the time I reached my senior year at high school, my name was the one in the headlines, and my performance was the one everyone waited for,”  Rei rolled his eyes, his lover sure did like ‘blowing is own trumpet’. “But fame has a price to it… I…I’ve pretty much always kept to myself socially, like now, but…the ass-holes always see to find me,” he said with a hateful smile. “Tala went as part of an extra-curricular class to see Kevin in China, and, that left our little group vulnerable. A guy who Zeo knew – that is…” Kai’s voice suddenly lost all confidence, and he pressed his palms hard against his forehead, as if trying to alleviate a migraine. “This guy and his pals came down pretty hard on us…but being gay in high school meant we knew how to take it in our stride – we just brushed it off. But…the more we tried to ignore him the more drastic his attempts to get to us became. He spray-painted offensive stuff over our lockers, and broke into them, stealing stuff, spread rumours about us, and even went as far as breaking into Wyatt’s house, and into Max’s Dad’s car.” Rei frowned as he listened. “The rumours were the most hurtful though, Me, Tyson and Max…we could ignore them but…for Wyatt, and Zeo, they were…” Kai trailed off for a moment, his eyes glistening. “They drove themselves into depression over it.” Rei was confused, this wasn’t like the Zeo he knew at all.

“But Zeo? He isn’t easily affected by-”

“-Zeo’s past is Zeo’s, I hate the cocky bastard but I won’t spill the beans of his past as easy as that little shit Kevin. He was once my friend, and he entrusted me with his secrets, and I wouldn’t break that confidence – ever.” Rei nodded, he respected that aspect of Kai, and in fact would have been disappointed in him if he’d told him. At least Kevin has his reasons for telling him.

 

 “But Wyatt wasn’t used to all the slander, only being gay since he met me so, he couldn’t take it like we could. Wyatt went out of control. He was making himself sick from it…” Once again, an emotional huskiness came over Kai’s voice, and he couldn’t meet Rei’s eyes. “The person I loved was killing himself – no they were making him do it, and I just…I couldn’t just stand by and watch. I was…scared…I admit that, back then I wasn’t like I am now. I’d never been in a fight myself, only been on hand in case someone was stupid enough to try it with Tala. Ever since I met Tala, the circumstances of how I met him – him protecting me…he’s never really let go of that position…so I never had to be brave, and faced with having to do something to stop what this guy was doing to Wyatt was…terrifying…” Rei stood up. He wasn’t sure why. He felt like the situation needed a dramatic gesture to assure Kai it was okay that he’d been scared, but he stopped dead when Kai continued.

 

 “I persuaded Wyatt to come to school, and he agreed as long as I walked him home, since he was now terrified of these guys. They _were_ there on the way home, but…they didn’t say anything, just followed us, so I couldn’t bring myself…couldn’t find courage enough to turn around and face them like a man. I made sure Wyatt was safe in his house, and then turned to walk back…only problem was; they were now following me…” Rei slowly walked over to his boyfriend as he fell into a momentary silence, and placed his hand on is shoulder, squeezing gently. “I was scared still…in Wyatt’s eyes I was this hero, but when they broke into a run, and chased me through the deserted streets, I felt like nothing more than a pathetic, scared little child…” Rei bit back tears, moving to stand in front of Kai, but still Kai avoided his eyes, not wanting Rei to see the brewing tears in his crimson eyes. “They caught me, and…”

“Kai?” asked Rei, concerned at the look on the other boy’s face. “Kai, what is it? Kai?”

 

*                 *                 *

 

 _Kai swallowed hard as his back pressed against the wall of the alley, his heart thumping in his chest as he realised he was trapped, the four figures casting their shadows over his figure as the approached him from the alley’s entrance. “Finished walking your ‘bitch’ home, Hiwatari?”_ asked the blue-haired boy in front of the older looking men. Kai bit his lip, determined to try and talk his way out of this. The flaw of this plan being that he didn’t know what to say. _“It’s very gentlemanly of you to walk little Wyatt home to make sure he gets their safely, but I’m confused as to who was supposed to do the same for you?” Still Kai didn’t respond, except by tightening his hands into fists in an attempt to stop him shaking. “Ivanoh isn’t here to baby-sit you after all, Hiwatari, and it must be difficult to watch your own back.” Kai swallowed once more, somehow finding his voice._

_“Yeah, well I’ve been getting lessons from the girl in ‘The Exorcist’ for that, but being as I’m not possessed I find it difficult to achieve the full 360 degree turn,” Kai smirked, his outwardly cocky and confident attitude the complete opposite to how he felt inside._

_“You guys are satanic ass-holes right, well maybe you can give me a few pointers. How exactly **do** you baptize a baby in darkness?” The blue haired boy sneered. Lunging forward and seizing Kai by his collar. _

_“Think you’re pretty smart, huh, Hiwatari?” Kai sneered._

_“No, I’ll leave the thinking to you **geniuses** ,”  Kai said sarcastically, “I already know I’m smart.”_

_“Oh yeah, well you know what I know?” asked the boy, his face inches from Kai’s. “I’ll help you ‘achieve the full 360 degrees’ alright,” he almost snarled. “I’ve gonna smack that smug look off your face so hard, you’ll be able to see where your going, walking backwards.” About to retort, Kai’s confident exterior faltered as the three other men advanced upon him, and he fell from the blue-haired boy’s grip. “You know, that Wyatt of yours both earns my pity and interest. It must fucking hurt having your dick up his ass,” Kai sneered at the comment, “on the other hand, that quiet, shy little slut must be a totally different guy in the sack, huh?” Kai’s brow creased in confusion. “Let’s see if Hiwatari has a split persona in bed, guys?” he said to the other three, and Kai’s eyes widened, and he shuffled backwards, until his back met the wall once more. “I’m gonna go out on a limb and say you’re a screamer,” Kai kicked and punched at anything he could reach as the three others seized hold of him._

_“Get off! LET GO OF ME!” Kai flinched as his body collided with the ground. Hissing slightly in pain, his gaze flickered upwards, seeing them standing over him. “If you think you’ve seen pain, Hiwatari…I’ll show you a whole new form of it…” Kai winced slightly as he was forced to his feet once more. “After all, don’t you think it’s your duty to understand what kind of pain you force on Wyatt every time?”_

_“What the fuck are you talking about?”_

_“Don’t look so confused, I’ll be more than happy…to show you…”_

_“What the – GET THE HELL OFF ME!”_

 

*                 *                 *

 

 “T-They…they didn’t-”

“-They raped me, okay?” Kai interrupted, making Rei flinch slightly with is harsh voice. Kai shook His head slightly, abandoning words for a moment; before meeting Rei’s eyes with his own glassy ones. “I’m sorry, I’m just not…” Rei squeezed his hand reassuringly, and Kai forced a small smile.

“It’s okay, Kai…” said Rei softly, “it wasn’t your fault-”

“-No that’s just the point! It _was_ my fault! The guy who did it, he was-” Kai cut off, thinking better of what he was going to say. “They let me go…when they were _done_ …I think the most hurtful part of it was that I had to live with it…and they knew that…” Kai pulled his and away from Rei’s staring out of the window thoughtfully as he continued. “I…I couldn’t face the others…the way they would have looked at me, their sympathy, their… _understanding_ ,” Kai spoke almost bitterly at this point, making Rei frown slightly. “I couldn’t bear it…least of all how Wyatt would look at me. So…so I went back home – _home_ , home.”

“To Russia?” Kai nodded slightly.

“But, my grandfather…and my so-called _cousins_ , they hardly accepted me. I was the only reason they could live in such luxury, because it was my money their living founded from, so they…were civil to me, but once they found out why I was there…” Once again, his voice faltered, and Rei leant forwards, trying to console him.

“Kai-” Kai just shook is sympathy off, continuing.

“-Because I went _missing_ , considering I left without a word, Brooklyn and the others were all looking for me, even putting ads in the newspaper, and…that’s how my grandfather found out…

 

*                 *                 *

 

_Kai flinched as the door flung open, banging against the wall as it bounced off it, the image of his fuming grandfather, standing in the doorway. “Grandfather? What is-”_

_“-You good-for-nothing, waste of good air, what **is** it that made you rush over here so quickly, huh? To the place you hate so much-”_

_“-I don’t hate this place, I hate **you** , and I can come here when I wish, this is **my** home, or have you forgotten that I merely allow you to live here?” retorted Kai with a sneer, making his grandfather growl with annoyance._

_“How dare you speak to your grandfather that way, you insolent little-”_

_“-Isn’t that just the problem here? I’m no longer **little** , you can’t order me about anymore, you can’t steal all my money from me anymore, you can’t beat me into silence anymore. You need to think about being a bit nicer to me if you don’t want me to throw you out onto the streets.”_

_Suddenly Voltaire’s face seemed to have lost all the colour from it._

_“You wouldn’t **dare** throw out your own family.”_

_“As far as I’m concerned, you stopped being my family when you started beating on me. I **have** a family now, and you are no part of it.” Kai continued about whatever he had been doing before, not seeing the cruel smirk creep over Voltaire’s face._

_“Ah, yes, family…that failure of a red-head and those **friends**_ _of yours.” Kai turned, not liking the way he had said that word._

_“What do you-”_

_“-I know **exactly** what kind of friendship you and those social retards have. And you disgust me…” Kai sneered._

_“How dare you set your spies on me-”_

_“-How dare **you** taint this family further by sleeping around with men. It is better that your parents died as they did than see you now.” Kai glared at him, storming over to him and seizing the man by his jacket._

_“Maybe so, since now **I’m** the owner of **everything** you call yours, and now I can do **this**.” Kai shoved the man backwards, marching out of the room._

_“Kai?” Voltaire called after him, almost fearful, “Kai what’re you doing?” he asked, running after him and seeing Kai fling open the front door._

_“Here’s the door, feel free to walk out, ‘cause if you don’t start watching how you speak to me, you’ll find yourself out on the streets.” Voltaire looked shocked beyond belief. “I’m guessing you didn’t expect me to stand up to you, am I right? Well I’m not the meek little baby that you used to torment for fun, the one that needed Brooklyn for everything.” Kai stated, shutting the door and walking past Voltaire as if he didn’t even exist; pouring himself a drink as he reached the cabinet. “I think you’ll find I’ve changed.” Voltaire sneered._

_“Yes…I imagine getting raped is a life-changing experience.” Kai’s eyes widened, and his grip on the glass failed, slipping through is hand and shattering on the wooden floor._

_“It isn’t bad enough that you’re a little freak, but to get yourself tainted like that-”_

_“-Shut up…”_

_“You were always useless Kai, a useless waste of space that got his parents killed-”_

_“-That’s **not** true-”_

_“-No? If you weren’t born, your mother wouldn’t have gotten ill, and your father wouldn’t have gone insane. They would have never been on the road that day when the car-”_

_“-SHUT UP, SHUT UP!!!” Kai winced as Voltaire backhanded him, feeling the back of his head collide with the cabinet._

_“Face it Kai, the only people who didn’t think you were a waste of space were condemned to death the day you took your first breath, and now you’ve left Brooklyn and those other homosexual outcasts they’ll feel the same pain. You’re just some nasty little parasite – sucking the life out of everything and everyone you touch!” Kai screamed as Voltaire’s foot made a collision with his stomach and he doubled over on the ground. “YOU FUCKING – DISGUSTING – LEECH!” Winced as each word was followed by a sharp kick, until he let out a scream, as he felt something break. “ **You** are the one that should die…” Voltaire snarled, turning and walking away, leaving Kai bleeding on the floor._

_Kai winced, dragging his suddenly heavy body over to the kitchen counter and propping himself up against it._

_“Maybe he’s right,” he said to himself, “maybe I **am** the one that should die, before I hurt someone else I love…” Kai reached up to the counter, hauling himself up and seizing the knife lying there, before collapsing in pain to the ground, pressing the blade to is throat._

_Voltaire smirked to himself as he bent down to pick up the postage for this morning. He knew **exactly** what Kai was about to do. He could see him from here, but why should it bother him? With Kai dead, since Kai had no Will, he, Voltaire would get everything. He frowned as he saw a letter addressed to Kai, lying open on the kitchen counter, knowing that Kai’s mailing address was in the USA, where he lived with Brooklyn. He opened Kai’s letter scanning over it, and his eyes widened. Turning he bolted to where Kai was slumped against the counter, bleeding from his throat._

_“You son of a bitch, you made a Will?” Kai smirked as he heard Voltaire’s angered words, his vision blurring._

_“Yeah, in the event of my death, any money that **was** your allowance…goes to the fund for abused children, and everything else goes to Brooklyn…” Voltaire growled._

_“You little-”_

_“-Maybe you shouldn’t…have…wished for my death…after…all…”_

 

*                 *                 *

 

 Rei frowned in confusion. “But…what happened? I mean, you didn’t die, since you’re here.”

“No, funny enough, when my grandfather found out about my Will, he was more interested in me staying alive. So he called an ambulance, and, obviously I was saved.” Rei was still confused.

“But…you slit your own throat…why aren’t you scarred?” Kai smirked.

“I’m a multi-millionaire; you think I wouldn’t have the scars taken away?” Rei then realised, nodding slightly. “Actually,” continued Kai, “brushing aside the slate bangs that hung down over his left ear, revealing a small scar just underneath is ear.

“Kai?” asked Rei, “is that…?”

“Yeah, I…I guess I wanted a little of it to remain, to remind me…that no matter how awful my life gets, it’s never worth throwing away, since it was my life that caused Wyatt to lose his…” Rei watched him as he let the hair fall back over the scar, seeming to be gathering his thoughts – not for the first time that evening.

 

 “I…I cut my grandfather off, and kicked him out of the estate…And once all my affairs were in order, I came back…but…when I got here I…” Rei fought back tears as he watched Kai doing the same. “I went home, and Brooklyn wasn’t there, and…I went to Tala’s, and he was home, but…” Rei’s eyes glazed over almost completely as he watched tears spill down Kai’s cheeks. “But Wyatt was… The guys that raped me, they… Wyatt and the others were all out looking for me, and Wyatt separated from the others…and they…they did the same thing to him.” Tears finally escaped Rei’s golden eyes, as he threw his arms round Kai’s shoulders, hugging him tightly.

“Kai I’m…I’m so…I’m so sorry-”

“-Wyatt always had a weak heart, the shit those guys had been pulling over the months didn’t help, and when they…he just couldn’t pull out of it – he didn’t have the strength. I ran away, after I found out Wyatt was in a coma, I was…the only one that knew what really happened that night, since those assholes made a point of letting me know before they disappeared. But Brooklyn found me, and took me back home, tutoring me until I reached this year at college, when he finally trusted me not to disappear, or hurt myself again.”

 

 As he finished, Rei looked up to him with tear-stained eyes, making Kai smile slightly, brushing his hair out of his face as he looked down on him.

“So…is that why you’re like you are when people…when they say stuff to me…about being…in love with you?” Kai didn’t reply, but the look he gave Rei explained that his guess was correct. “I’m so sorry…If I’d have known; I’d never have made you explain all that to me. I’m so-” Rei was cut off by Kai’s lips crashing against his.

“What did I say about pity?” Kai muttered between kisses. Rei smiled. The two tumbled to the floor in a tangled heap, breaking apart from the kisses only for breath, each fumbling with the other’s clothes in the rush to get rid of the obstructing garments. “Kai – I – love – you-” he gasped out between kisses as the slate-haired boy laid him bare against the floor.

 

**(WARNING! GRAPHIC MXM-NESS, IF YOU DONT WANNA READ PLEASE CONTINUE TO THE NEXT WARNING!)**

 

 Rei’s eyes clamped shut as long, talented fingers squeezed his member. “K-Kai! No…”

“No?” asked Kai huskily, breathing lightly into Rei’s ear, nipping it softly. “Don’t try and tell me you don’t want to, you’re already dripping...” Rei flushed, letting out a small whimper as Kai traced a vein.

“Bastard…it’s not…it’s just…floorboards aren’t the most comfortable of fucking surfaces!” Kai smirked, scooping the boy up from the ground and throwing him onto the couch. “Be gentle why don’t you,” Rei growled sarcastically as the taller boy knelt over him.

“Shut up,” replied Kai, pressing ardent kisses over Rei’s chest, lowering his mouth down his body. Kai looked up at him in confusion as Rei caught Kai’s chin with his fingers, stopping him from going any lower. “Rei? What-”

“-It’s my turn this time…”

“What the-” Kai cut off as Rei wrapped his arms round his neck, crashing a kiss against his lips and pushing him backwards so he was underneath.

 

 Hurriedly removing Kai’s shirt, planting brief nips over his stomach and unzipping Kai’s pants, Rei blushed violently as Kai’s member pushed up into his hands. It was the first time he’d seen it so closely at needless to say it put him to shame. Not wanting to seem like a complete imbecile, Rei risked a lick over the head. Kai sucked in air, fingers idly toying with the raven hair fanned out over the both of them, which had somehow escaped its binding. Startled by Kai’s reaction, Rei paused a moment, flushing darkly, licking experimentally, before taking Kai into his mouth slowly. He shut his eyes, not daring to look as he took in everything he could without choking.

“R-Rei…!” Kai gasped out tugging the raven hair gently as Rei pulled back up slowly, swirling his tongue over the tip as he came almost all the way back off. The boy came back down, sucking on the heated flesh, sending tremors through the slate-haired boy’s body.

 

 Suddenly Rei felt Kai’s fingers wrap around his own neglected member, making him groan, sending wonderful vibrations through Kai’s skin. Kai pressed the tip of his finger gently against the slit, making Rei pull off and bite into his lip to silence his moan. Dazedly crawling up Kai’s body, Rei rested his head in the crook of Kai’s neck, reaching down and squeezing Kai softly before pressing his erection, slick with his own pre-emission against Kai’s, creating a delicious friction between the two of them. Rei threw his head back as he reached his peak, spilling himself over his and Kai’s stomachs, Kai following soon after.

 

** (WARNING! SAFE TO READ NOW!) **

 

 The two seemed to melt into each other as they lay fighting to regain any form of sense or control, spiralling back down from their own oblivion. Kai looked down at Rei as he let out a soft contented sigh. “Are you okay?” asked Kai. Rei nodded, he was still sore from last night’s activities, and a little exhausted thanks to _this_ night’s, but other than that he was…dare he say it? _Happy? Shut up Rei_ , the raven-haired boy thought, _don’t jinx it!_

“Kai?”

“Yeah?”

“I…I love you.” Kai smiled.

“Do you always talk after sex?” Rei sighed again, closing his eyes.

“I wouldn’t know…I’ve only ever had sex with you…” he admitted, embarrassed. Kai smiled, stroking Rei’s hair softly.

“Don’t you fall asleep on me, I’m not gonna carry you back into the bedroom if you do. I’ll leave you here and you can just get a bad back. Rei? _Rei?_ ” The slate-haired boy looked down at his lover, and sighed to himself. The boy was already asleep. “What am I gonna do with you, eh?” he asked, brushing the raven bangs aside affectionately, before getting to his feet, scooping the boy up into his arms. _He’s loud, he’s annoying, he’s too soft, easily cries,_ thought Kai as he kicked the bedroom door shut behind him, laying the boy on his bed. _He’s always looking for comfort in others; he wants everyone to like him, not to mention he’s nosy! And yet_ , Kai climbed into bed beside him, pulling up the covers over the porcelain figure, staring thoughtfully into that peaceful expression, _I think I’m falling for him…_

 

 

TBC

 


	23. Re-emergence

_Re-emergence_

_~Twenty Three~_

 

 Rei’s eyes darted everywhere as he walked down the street, Kai squeezing his gloved hand softly, not being able to keep himself from smiling at the adorable look on his raven-haired lover’s face. The clouds overhead threatened the people below them with even more snow, as if they hadn’t had quite enough of it already. The climate however was a big change to Rei, who had rarely (if ever) even seen snow, and now he was being bombarded with it from all angles with no way of escape! A few weeks back now, the whole campus was blocked off by snow, and the students were snowed in until the snow could be moved. Not that Kai and Rei had minded, (it had allowed them to escape a practice session with a frantic Brooklyn, and for them to spend some _‘time alone’_ together).

 

 It had been a good month or more since Kai had confronted Rei with everything he had to offer about his past, and since then there had been very few bumps in the road - even Bryan, Aoki and the others seemed to be backing off for the time being. For now the couple were on a constant high point, from which no one seemed to be able to bring them down. Unfortunately, with Christmas looming in the air, the damned holiday season, end of term exams and the even more be damned _‘Christmas Ice Show’_ Brooklyn wanted them to perform in, all played a part of threatening the newly blossoming relationship.

 

 The two paused at the bus stop, joining the queue in waiting for the bus to take them back to the campus. Rei smiled. It may be freezing cold outside but lately he just felt so warm that he didn’t think anything would bother him much - not even his English finals, which he hadn’t studied for - and if not for Kai, intended not to all together. Suddenly Rei shivered, snapping both him and Kai out of their pensive state. “Are you cold?” Rei raised an eyebrow, throwing him a sarcastic look. “Oh, yeah, right.” Kai replied to the stare, as if only just remembering the snow. The slate-haired boy shrugged off his coat, wrapping it round the other’s shoulders.

“Hey, you’ll catch your death standing there like that!” scolded Rei, trying to push away.

“I’m used to the cold.”

“And what makes you so special?”

“I come from Russia, Rei.”

“Yeah?”

“Moscow? Snow? Does it ring a bell?” Rei flushed slightly, realizing his naivety.

“Oh, right.” 

“Besides, I don’t feel the cold.” Rei smiled, pushing Kai’s hands off and putting the coat back round the boy’s shoulders and pulling it round the both of them, so he was snuggled up against Kai’s chest.

“Yeah, but I like it better this way.” Kai smiled at him, wrapping his arms round him, the both of them totally ignoring the questioning glances they were receiving off the other pedestrians walking past or waiting beside them for the bus.

 

 Kai shifted his hold on Rei to check his watch.

“The bus won’t be here for a while; you want to go get some hot chocolate or something?” Rei lifted his head up slightly, nuzzling it against his neck, making Kai smile.

“Do I get foamy stuff and sprinkles?” Rei asked petulantly. Kai smiled, pressing a quick kiss on his cold nose.

“With a look like that you can have what the hell you want,” he replied, leading Rei to the coffee house he could see on the corner of the street.

 

 Rei sighed, taking off his gloves and coat. The shop was like a toaster oven compared to the outside world, _and trust student housing to have no central heating,_ Rei thought bitterly, _what am I saying? I love that our dorm is an icebox, it gives me an excuse to cuddle up to Kai - not that I need an excuse…_ He glanced over to the counter where Kai was ordering their coffee. _I wonder how long before this honeymoon period runs out, and we’re tearing each other’s heads off again,_ Rei thought to himself.

 

 “Hey, Rei?” Rei snapped out of his thoughts as he heard his name, turning to see Zeo bustling his way towards him.

“Hey Zeo, what you doing here?”

“Ah, you know, Christmas shopping. If I don’t get it done now I’ll end up shopping on Christmas Eve again.” Rei smiled.

“You?”

“Kai and me were doing the same, but I-” he paused, making sure that Kai was still out of ear shot before continuing, “-I have no idea what to get him…”

“Well don’t panic, Kai probably won’t get you anything anyway,” Zeo stated matter-of-factly.

“Huh?” asked Rei, confused.

“Well, I’m not too sure why, but…Kai doesn’t buy people gifts for Christmas.”

“What? Why?”

“Oh he decorates like everyone else - Brook saw to that, but he never gets people gifts. I mean come on, _‘The cold hearted bastard’_ Christmas shopping? Can you really see it?” Rei saddened slightly.

“No, I suppose not.”

 

 In an effort to hide his sadness at the statement, a change of subject was in order. “So, are you spending Christmas with Brooklyn?” Zeo smirked dirtily.

“Damn straight - or _not_ straight, as the case may be,” Rei rolled his eyes. “But no, seriously; after the performance on Christmas Eve, we are going back to his place. You and Kai got plans?”

“As a matter of fact we have,” responded Kai, as he appeared carrying his and Rei’s order. “We were going to spend our Christmas at home, _alone_ , in the sense of you, Max, Tala, _the squirt_ and _the prick_ not attending.” Zeo smirked.

“Why Kai, one would think you wanted Rei all to yourself.”

“That’s exactly what I think.”

“Nice to see you too, bastard,” Zeo said with mock anger, that smile still playing on his lips.

“Likewise, asshole,” Kai replied in the same way, before turning to Rei. “Sweet Cappuccino with extra foam, cinnamon and chocolate sprinkles,” he announced, making Rei smile as he placed the cup in front of him, sitting down opposite the raven-haired boy.

“Well, I’ll leave you two _‘love-birds’_ to it,” Zeo chanted, “see ya in class.”

“See ya,” called Rei as the green-haired boy shot out the shop door.

 

 Rei sipped his cappuccino, sighing blissfully at the warmth spreading through him. “Thanks, Kai.”

“It’s alright,” Kai replied, sipping his hot chocolate. An awkward silence fell between them, with the raven-haired boy regarding him closely as he sipped his hot drink.

“Kai?”

“Hmm?”

“What do you want me to get you for Christmas?” Kai blinked at him, putting down his cup.

“You don’t need to bother.” Rei sighed quietly. _So what Zeo said was true…_

“I know I don’t need to, but I…I want to…” The corner of the Russian boy’s mouth twitched into a smirk.

“What is it with you and gift giving? You gave _me_ a present on _your_ birthday before now,” Rei remained silent, “just don’t worry about it, it isn’t something you need to bother yourself over. I don’t get all huffy and girly over not getting gifts.” Taking another gulp of his coffee, he looked up to see Rei’s crestfallen expression. “But maybe it is that _you_ do.” Rei flushed slightly.

“Don’t be ridiculous, I don’t care! But I - I just didn’t want you to get me something when I haven’t got you anything.”

“So you don’t want me to get you anything?” asked Kai.

“That’s not what I meant…”

“Well what _did_ you mean?” asked Kai, his teasing tone beginning to annoy the Chinese boy.

“I _meant_ that surely we _should_ get gifts for each other.”

“Why?” Rei scowled, getting to his feet.

“Stop being a prick Kai,” Rei ordered, his voice getting louder.

“Whatever do you mean?” asked the slate-haired boy, relaxing back in his chair.

“You know damn well _why_.” Kai raised an eyebrow.

“Do I?” he asked sarcastically.

“Yes, it’s because we’re lovers!” Rei blinked, realizing he’d shouted, and looked round to see the other customers staring at him. Blushing, he sat back down, not missing Kai choking back a laugh in his cup off coffee, not meeting his eyes.

“ _Ass_ …” he grumbled at him under his breath, as the noise suddenly went back up in the room, the others resuming whatever they had been doing beforehand.

 

 At last Kai reappeared from his now empty cup of coffee, no longer forcing back a laugh.

“If you want something why don’t you just ask?” he said plainly. And Rei scowled at him again. “Don’t give me that look.”

“Do you enjoy embarrassing me?” When Kai looked confused, he continued. “You know damn well what I want but you just _have_ to hear it firsthand from my mouth, _just_ so you can watch me suffer.”

“You seem to know me pretty well, Rei,” Kai replied, scooting his chair over so that he was sitting next to him, and leaned in, so that his hot whisperings steamed over the other boy’s ear. “But can I help it if you look so damn cute when you’re blushing?” Rei flushed even darker (if that were possible) - he _hated_ that Kai found him so easy to manipulate.

“Stop it Kai,” Rei muttered half-heartedly, elbowing him as he noticed the looks some of the other people were giving them, “people are watching us…”

“Does that matter?”

“Kai-”

“-Aren’t you the one who wants this?”

“Kai stop!” he insisted quietly, and the other boy pulled away slightly. “Even when we…have sex you embarrass me…” Kai smirked slightly. "Don't look at me like that and expect it all to go away." Rei looked away from him distinctly, avoiding Kai's eyes as he sipped his coffee.

"Idiot, you know I'm crazy about you..." Rei looked at him. Once again, Kai had dodged another opportunity to say what he craved the most from him. Sighing slightly, Rei rolled his eyes, brushing off the earlier conversation.

"Whatever..."

 

 "So, what do you want then?" Golden eyes snapped back to Kai, noting the thoughtful, but tormenting look on his face. "You want a gift right?"

"Just forget it."

"If you say so my sweet," Kai teased with a cheeky grin, making Rei narrow his eyes at him in mock anger, as he took down a little more of his drink.

 

 "Hey, guys I nearly forgot!" The couple looked up as the familiar green-haired boy called over to them, making a quick dash to their table, nearly making a few other customers lose their feet.

"Hey shit-head, where's the fire?" Zeo stuck his tongue out at the Russian, making Kai smirk.

"If you must know me and Brook have a-" Kai scowled as he watched Zeo push his tongue into his cheek, moving his hand near it in a suggestive way, making Rei choke on his cappuccino in laughter, "-appointment. Any- _who_ , tomorrow, midday-ish, you, me, others, get-together." The boys frowned in confusion.

"Why? Going for another exciting exhibition with the _smack-head's_ bicycle?" Kai asked, Zeo glanced at Rei in a _'I guess you told him'_ way, before turning back to Kai.

"You mean you guys don't know?" The couple shook their heads. "It's 'Gay pride day' tomorrow." Rei choked up some more cappuccino, while Kai merely raised an eyebrow at the green-haired boy.

"Eh?" squeaked Rei. Zeo rolled his eyes.

"Geez, you call yourselves gay? _Gay pride_ , you know - 'embrace the faggot-ness - accept homosexuality - buy your boyfriend a dildo' and all that crap."

 

 "I think what my stunned to idiocy lover is meaning to say is, why on earth would you expect us to go to that ass-bash orgy, huh?" asked Kai.

"Well," said Zeo, in a _duh_ sort of voice, "I know you might not have noticed but you two are both _male_ , and the very high volume screams of passion - which I'll take a guess at _doesn't_ come from intense games of Twister - means you guys are _gay - homosexual_ ," Rei and Kai blinked at him as if he had to heads. "Faggots - butt buddies - whatever! Either way, you want to be able to introduce yourselves to the gay society you gotta go."

"Well, we don't really need to go Zeo; we're comfortable how we are-"

"-What? In your closet?" Zeo interrupted the raven-haired boy.

"I think the fairly substantial stack of male-on-male porno’s in our dorm and the frequently updated stash of lubricant is enough to prove we're very much _out_ , Zeo," Rei responded, making Kai avoid his eyes to stop from laughing.

"You know what I mean," Zeo sulked, "people like us have to take stick for being gay, and I know you guys don't mind so much but this is the _one_ time we can be ourselves, not just among ourselves, so _please_ , just come?" Rei and Kai shared a look. "Come on, me Tyson, Max and Tala spent all month persuading Kevin to come, don't make me break out the waterworks." Kai scoffed at the idea.

"As if that'd work anyways." Zeo brightened.

"So you'll come?" Rei regarded Kai's shrug, and smiled at Zeo.

"Yeah, of course we'll come Zeo."

"Yippee!!!"

"Careful, moron, you're turning into _'the sugar-freak'_ on the spot," warned Kai, as Zeo bounced up on down on the spot.

"I can't help it, if I'm happy! Right got to dash now my people, I have a sex date with _your_ make-shift Daddy," he chimed, pinching Kai's cheek hard, "see ya _babushka_!" The green-haired boy shot out of their sight as Kai got to his feet, readying to repay Zeo for all the comments and the cheek-pinching.

 

 "I like our friends," sighed Rei, watching amusedly after the other boy. Kai snorted.

"Yeah, well I hate 'em." Rei smirked, knowing full well Kai didn't mean that at all, and trying his hardest to ignore the growing angst he felt towards what tomorrow had in store...

 

*                 *                 *

 

 "Kai?" No answer, "Hello, earth to Kai?" Rei chanted at the taller boy, who was arranging his hair in the mirror, whilst he himself was sprawled across the double-bed, (which not too long after Kai had bought in replacement of their two single beds) trying to revise at least a _little_ for the damned English Literature exam. He hadn't managed to get out of it, and he doubted that his teacher would except _"but I was going to Gay pride"_ as a valid excuse.

"What?"

"What's _continuous prose_ , again?" Kai sighed.

"Rei-"

"-Is that the one where it's like poetry?"

"No, that's _Blank Verse_."

"So is it-"

"Rei!"

"What?!"

"You can revise all night but if it hasn't sunk in by now it never will." Rei sighed.

"Yeah, I know but-"

"-Don't you have some revision technique?"

"Huh?"

"Technique? Some way for you to remember the things you revised, like - flash cards, tables or..."

"Kai," Rei despaired, throwing the book on the floor. "I give up I just can't do it!"

 

 "Come here," Kai said, reaching for the other boy’s hands as he sat on the bed in front of him.

“What?!”

“Just come here.” Rei shot Kai an unsure look, as the slate-haired boy shoved the English Revision guide into his hands. “Read.”

“Eh?”

“To me, out loud – read a part you don’t find easy to remember.” Rei just looked to and from Kai and the book in disbelief, before speaking.

“Listen, Kai’s it’s nice of you to help and all but I-”

“-Just read nimrod.” Rei huffed, rolling his eyes as he began to read.

 

 “ _’In Shakespeare’s plays, he tends to use Continuous Prose for the lower class characters in’_ – Ah!” Rei broke off into a moan as he felt Kai’s mouth latch onto his neck. “K-Kai! W-What the hell are you-?”

“-Read.”

“…‘ _The play, or even for…issues in their speech…which are informal. The language’_ -” He cut off again as Kai sucked hard on the pale flesh of his throat, and he inhaled harshly as he tried to read on. “- _known as Blank…Verse is generally used for the upper…class characters.’_ ” Rei rushed the last sentence all into one breath, and as he sucked in air he felt Kai, pull away. “Kai? What the hell was that?” Kai smirked mischievously.

“I test well.” Rei raised an eyebrow in confusion.

“And?”

“I test well because I always relate the stuff I revise to memorable stuff.” Kai traced his fingertips over Rei’s neck, where a love-bite was brewing. “Don’t get much more memorable than that.” Rei rolled his eyes.

“You’re sex mad you are.” Kai got to his feet.

“Yeah, whatever,” The slate-haired boy responded, disappearing off into the bathroom.

 

 Shoving his books aside, Rei ran a brush through his hair, swiftly securing it back in its usual binding. Seeing the time the boy raked through his chest of drawers, realising that (with the holiday season approaching and all) he hadn’t remembered to do any kind of washing, and was rather restricted for choice. _Damn_ , he mentally cursed, pulling out a pair of jeans and the last clean shirt in the drawer. After yanking the off-shoulder black sweater over his tight turtle-neck rather unceremoniously, he looked himself over in the mirror nervously. _I look like a gay guy – okay, so I am, but still…_

 

 “Hey, Kai?” he called.

“Hmm?”

“Do you think you could come here for a sec?” A moment later, said boy appeared in the doorway of the bathroom, wearing his usual defining tight black shirt, cargo pants and jacket.

“What do you think?” Rei asked, swaying slightly, so that Kai could see the majority of the outfit on him. Kai looked him over with one of those looks that Rei began to like the look of very much, but when Kai’s crimson eyes glided back up to meet his own he blushed and cleared is throat loudly. “So, what do you think? I ummm…didn’t do my washing…so I-”

“You never ask me about what you wear.” Kai said matter-of-factly. Rei scratched the back of his neck distractedly.

“Yeah, I know. But I…I don’t know, you don’t think it’s a little-”

“-Sexy?”

“-Girly?” Rei finished, just realising what Kai had said. Kai walked over to him, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips, his hands roaming over the denim covered backside of the boy in his arms. When the kiss broke, Rei smirked lustily up at him. “Here now, none of that, we promised Zeo.” Ka rolled his eyes. “So, you like it?” Rei asked, referring to the previous, unanswered question.

“It’s gorgeous; everything looks gorgeous on you…” Kai practically purred, making the smaller boy shudder.

“Likewise,” he eventually whispered out, leaning up and nipping his lover’s bottom lip.

 

 “We should be going now, before I change my mind and have you screw me into the sheets.”

“You already blew off your classes for just that.” Kai stated.

“Yeah, well keep in line _Mister_ or there’ll be no more _‘Blowing off’_ for a long time.” Kai smirked at the boy’s words.

“Come on Gutter-brain lets go.”

“Me Gutter-brain? You’re the one who suggested _toys_ the last time!” Rei retorted as they grabbed their coats, heading out the door.

“Yeah, yeah, merely trying to spice things up.”

“Feh! Lecherous pervert…”

“Now that’s the type of language I expect to see in your English exam,” mocked Kai as he locked the front door behind them.

 

*              *              *

 

 It didn’t take them long for them to find out the exact location; in fact Rei thought they wouldn’t have even gotten there quicker if there was a huge sign directing the way. Though of course, that was mainly due to the large banner over the door of the student hall, reading something along the lines of _“Support Gay Pride”_ in huge bold, red letters. Kai smirked and shook his head slightly, while Rei blushed at all the other students merely passing through the campus, distinctly watching them move into the hall with a few others. _Geez, I’m gonna kill Zeo!_ As if reading his lover’s mind, Kai smirked and muttered, “And Zeo made that banner too…” Rei rolled his eyes once more, letting out a short, embarrassed huff.

__

 Walking into the surprisingly elaborately decorated hall, Rei found himself surprised at just how many people were there. The hall was packed with boys and men alike, some hand in hand or arm in arm, laughing, joking with each other. _At ease,_ thought Rei, it was exactly like Zeo had said; they could be themselves not just in private. Rei jumped as Kai touched his shoulder gently, stirring him from his thoughtful staring. “Rei, you kind of have to move.” Rei blinked, realising that it was Kevin, who was now standing in front of him, that had spoke.

“Huh?”

“You’re blocking the door.”

“Huh? Oh, right sorry.” The Chinese boy followed Kevin and Kai further into the hall, not noticing his golden eyes darting everywhere. Not surprisingly he found that Tala was one of the few who were drinking an alcoholic beverage, even with Brooklyn nagging him that he was setting an example for the younger people who were attending. Tyson and Max had propped themselves against the large window ledge, while Zeo was rolling his eyes at Brooklyn, playing idly with their interlocked hands.

 

 “Hey guys, nice turnout wouldn’t you say?” asked Rei Tala nodded resolutely, gazing round at the crowd. “Are all these people… _like us_?” he asked, taking the cup of cola Kevin offered him.

“Well, yes and no,” replied Tala. “Some are homosexual couples, some are singular people who have come alone tonight to maybe find someone, some are boys who are questioning their sexuality and maybe because of a difficult family background or difficult friends, don’t feel they have he freedom to make that choice. And others are people who are merely open to, or are interested in - well, _us_.” Kevin clapped him sarcastically, rolling his eyes at the speech.

 

 “Damn it, I hate these things…” the small green-haired boy growled under his breath. “Most of the people are here just so they can make a mockery of us, and ruin everything…” Tala offered Kevin a drink from the bottle he had, to which Kevin turned his nose up at. “I think not. Disgusting stuff. And if you think you’re coming to my bed tonight after all that drink you’ve got another thing-” he cut off as he felt the auburn-haired-boy palming his backside, and he growled under his breath. “Tala, you-”

 

 “-So Brooklyn,” interrupted Rei, trying to distract Kevin and Tala from exploding into another argument. “I knew you were – _with Zeo_ , but I didn’t think you’d come to something like this.” Brooklyn smiled.

“I’m not that old, Rei.” Rei blushed, to which he noticed Kai choking back a smirk as he took a sip from Rei’s cup.

“I – I – That’s not what I – How old are you?” he asked, tilting his head slightly so that he looked a little like a curious puppy. Again, Brooklyn smiled, looking thoughtful.

“Well, when Kai was six – when I first met him – I was not quite eighteen.” At the look on their faces the red-head smiled. “I was an advanced kid, I was sent to a private school when I was young, which is where I learnt to be a tutor.” Rei blinked for a moment at him.

“So, you’re…thirty?” The raven-haired boy seemed shocked. “You don’t look it!” Brooklyn smiled again.

“Yeah, I keep in shape, but then again I am Kai’s trainer so,” he winked at Kai, who rolled his eyes as he handed Rei back his drink.

“Hey, who said I’d share with you?” Rei asked Kai, just realising what had happened.

“You share my bed.” Rei grumbled at Kai’s response.

“It always comes back to sex with you.” The Chinese boy turned to Tala in questioning. “Is that a Russian thing or just a _‘Kai and Tala’_ thing?” Tala gave a dirty smirk, to which Kevin elbowed him in the side.

“You don’t really need to hear that answer Rei,” the small green-haired boy stated.

 

 Suddenly all chatter in the hall fell quiet as a young, dark haired man stepped onto the stage.

“I’d like to thank everyone for coming here this evening, and supporting this ideal we all seem to share...” Kevin rolled his eyes.

“Geez, this guy’s so full of shit,” he mumbled under his breath as the man continued on.

“…I’m sure you’re all aware, the people of the world aren’t nearly as accepting of us as everyone seems to make out, but one day, if we all stay true to ourselves and who we are, and make a stand against having to hide ourselves away…”

 

 After the man (who Kevin seemed to dislike so very much) had finished speech, the music, dancing and chatter that it seemed a lot of them were waiting for burst out, leaving the intense atmosphere very much dead. Kai, Rei and the others stood along the sidelines, recovering from the laughter of watching a hyped up Max and drunk Tyson attempting to dance

“Bleh blehdy fecking bleh!” Kevin growled under his breath as he heard the speaker from earlier giving another ‘mini-speech’ as it were to some poor sap not far from them, making everyone in their group smirk. “Like I said, he’s so full of-” Zeo, with the hand that wasn’t entwined with Brooklyn’s, ruffled Kevin’s hair affectionately, making the smaller-green-haired boy scowl.

“-Now, now, ‘ _Our Kevin’_ , be good or I shall have to…” Rei and the others in the group turned to look at Zeo as he halted mid-sentence, noting the strange look across his features; shock, fear, and some other unrecognisable emotion all present on his usually happy face.

“Zeo?” Rei asked quietly, so as not to disturb the rest of what was going on around them, “What’s wrong?” The taller-green-haired boy pulled his hand subtly away from Brooklyn’s, still staring in shock at something ahead of them.

 

 Suddenly, Rei felt Kai squeeze his arm gently, and looking up to his lover, the raven-haired-boy noted Kai’s face bore a similar expression to Zeo’s. “Kai?” Rei asked, “What’s-”

“H-Hiro…?” muttered Zeo.

“Hiro? Who is Hiro?” Rei asked Kai in his ear, but Kai shook his head gently, his way of saying now wasn’t the time. Looking in the direction everyone else seemed to be looking. Golden eyes widened as he saw two familiar sets of cold eyes; Bryan and Aoki were leaning against the doorframe, watching the proceedings of the hall with utter disgust in their eyes. However, Rei quickly realised that it wasn’t these two that Kai, Zeo and even Tala were staring daggers at; it was the boy who was between them, looking the most ominous of the three, and towering above them both. Rei’s eyes ran over the light blue hair and mahogany eyes, feeling himself shudder just by meeting them.

 

 Rei, Kai and the others watched as Zeo slowly broke away from them, moving slowly over towards this boy. Kai’s eyes widened in the instance that Zeo approached him, moving to dart after him, only to have Tala’s strong arm snatch him back.

“Kai wait, it’s Hiro, he might not be here to start a fight-”

“-That’s crap and you know it Tala, when has that ass-hole ever _not_ tried to start something?” Kai barked back, “Showing his face to us after all this time, that guy’s got some nerve…” Kai yanked his arm free, marching after his friend, ignoring Tala calling him back. Rei looked confused, looking from Kai to the others, before following quickly after him.

 

An ominously nice smile graced the blue-haired boy’s features as Kai and Rei approached, Tala hot on their heels.

“Ah, Kai, long time no see, eh?” he said as if they were old school friends, however, from the look of uttermost contempt on Kai’s face, Rei knew it was different.

“Hiro…” the slate-haired boy practically growled.

“Yes, long time no see. I notice none of you’ve changed much.” Rei didn’t like the way those deadly calm eyes scanned over himself and the others. _This guy…there’s something up with him…something not right…_

 

 “So, Kai, I hear you’ve got a new bitch am I right? I take it this is him?” Kai’s lip turned up into a sneer at Hiro gesturing to Rei, “Well, let’s take a look at the new boy then-”

“Cut the crap Hiro, what the hell are you doing here?” barked Kai. The boy feigned a hurtful look.

“Why Kai, I would’ve imagined you’d be happy to learn that I’m now an official member of this college.”

“What did you do? Sleep with the prison warden to get bail?” Growled Tala, holding Kai’s shoulder gently, in an attempt to stop him from leaping forwards and throttling Hiro, (though Rei noticed the auburn-haired boy was close to doing so himself).

“Tala…” Rei’s eyes shot to the emerald-haired boy, his voice small and nervous as he’d never heard it before. _Zeo, what’s up with you?_

“Zeo, you don’t have to take this crap from him! After everything that-”

“-But I see that, as usual, there’s always one person who missed me.” Zeo flinched as Hiro raised him arm to pat him on the head as if he were a small child. “Like a dog with a bone, eh Zeo?” Zeo recoiled slightly as Hiro leant in closer to him, his voice a husky whisper. “I told you you’d never have anyone treat you as good as I did…” Zeo pushed the taller boy away, recovering himself quickly before rushing out of the hall.

 

 Kai’s eyes shot to Brooklyn, who looked utterly bewildered. The red-head nodded slowly at Kai, before following behind his lover. Rei hadn’t realised in all the fuss that Max and Tyson had made their way over with Kevin, all sporting much the same look as Kai and Tala. _What the **hell** is going on here?_ Thought Rei, looking from Kai, to Tala, to this boy, Hiro, and his two _cronies_ as I seemed, lurking either side of him, Bryan and Aoki.

“So Kai, you got over Wyatt pretty quick. I thought you guys were supposed to be soul mates,” Rei’s eyes snapped to Kai, golden eyes practically seeing his lover’s blood boil. But Kai was torn between being livid with this – this unworthy _monster_ uttering Wyatt’s name, and trying to reassure Rei, for he was sure it had upset him to be reminded that Wyatt was (and partially _still_ was), Kai’s entire world. “Everywhere you go, you hear about Kai’s love for Wyatt, and how beautifully selfless and unique it is…”

 

 Kai’s hands clenched into fists at his sides, his body quivering in anger, slate-coloured bangs hanging into his eyes, hiding his eyes.

“You…You bastard…Just shut it…!” Kai hissed, just rousing another sinister smile from the boy. Tala squeezed Kai’s shoulder slightly, trying to calm him.

“Ah, as usual Kai, always hiding behind Tala. But as I believe you’ve heard before, Tala can’t always be there to save you, can he?” Hiro was deadly close to Kai now, and Rei’s brow furrowed in worry for the distress the slate-haired boy seemed to be in. _Kai **never** gets worried about **anything** though, _ he thought. “You can’t do anything when you’re left to stand on your own can you? The moment Wyatt was left for you to protect he got hurt, and that silly little bitch Kym left you and you got the lowest marks **ever** in that sissy figure skating crap with that new partner of yours-” Rei’s eyes widened. He knew he’d not done his best, but he never thought he’d brought Kai down to the _worst_ he’d ever achieved. “-You’re a failure, Kai… But then you already knew that, didn’t you? Even your dead parents must think so.” Kai ground his teeth together, his nails piercing the flesh of his palms as he clenched them tighter than before. “Didn’t you?”

“SHUT UP!!!” Rei screamed, shoving Hiro back from Kai, making everyone look up at him in shock; clearly, no matter how many times they saw it, they never expected Rei to be the first one to lash out. “I don’t know who you are,” he growled, lowering his voice, just thankful he hadn’t disturbed the scene around them (it having returned to its bubbly atmosphere – the total opposite to how they all felt right now). “But frankly I don’t care. You can’t treat people like this, think you’re God’s gift or something, ass-hole?” Bryan and Aoki looked mortified, but Hiro just smirked cockily, clearly amused.

 

 “I like this one Kai,” Hiro goaded, “he’s got backbone...but I bet he’s easy to break…” Kai’s eyes flashed as his head snapped up, and he lunged for Hiro, knocking him off his feet and sending them both colliding back out into the darkness of the evening outside.

“You son-of-a-bitch, don’t you ever – _ever-_ ”

“-Ever _what_ Kai? You never could bring yourself to face against me before-”

“-This is different…”

“Why? ‘Cause you _love_ this new one so much? Feh, give me a break, that's bull and you know it. ‘Cause in the end, you’re just scared this kid will realise what a helpless loser you are, and come crying to me to warm his bed…”

“THAT’S ENOUGH!!!” Everyone’s heads snapped round towards the voice, which wasn’t Kai’s or Rei’s, or even Tala’s – it was Zeo’s. The green-haired boy seemed out of breath, as if it’d taken a lot out of him to get those words out.

 

 “That’s enough, Hiro… Y-You’re business is with me, not Kai, not Tala – _me_ …” Hiro smirked at the boy, shoving Kai back off of him and walking towards the boy.

“Get over yourself, _Princess_ , in the end, you were just a game, a toy all to eager to do as I said, and I’ve grown quite bored of your simpering _‘affection’_.” Zeo bit down on his lower lip, emerald eyes glowing in fresh tears, as Hiro stalked away into the darkness, Aoki and Bryan following close behind. “Until we meet again, Kai, Tala!” He called back to them, before the darkness swallowed him whole.

 

 The group was left in deadly silence, save for the music and chatter wafting out to them from the hall. Tala took Kai’s hand pulling him to his feet. Brooklyn, who no one had noticed was standing at Zeo’s side, leaned forwards to touch Zeo in some comforting gesture, when the boy pulled away.

“Don’t just… _please_ …I can’t I – I… Just leave me be!” Brooklyn looked on in confusion as Zeo darted off into the darkness, tears streaming from his eyes. _I’ve never seen Zeo cry,_ Rei thought sadly, as he watched Brooklyn follow.

 

 “Tala?” asked Kevin softly, touching his lover’s elbow gently. But the auburn-haired boy ignored him.

“Kai, forget it, there’s nothing we can do tonight, we’ll worry tomorrow, but we’ve all got important finals tomorrow, so let’s get one horror out of the way first.” Kai shook his head defiantly.

“How can I…How can I think of anything else when that bastard is-”

“-I know Kai, I _know_ , believe me I do… But think about it. What would your parents have wanted? What would Wyatt have wanted?” Kai looked at his friend, his usually passionate, fiery eyes looking lost and confused as a small child’s eyes might look. “And poor Brook, he’s not gonna have much else to comfort him with that ass-hole stirring things for Zeo, so…make him proud too, Kai.”

 

 After a further moment’s silence, Kai nodded in defeat, walking off towards the direction of his dorm, leaving Rei to simply follow after. The raven-haired boy looked up at him worriedly as he walked at his side. _For some reason that guy had the ability to render him so confused and distressed…and Zeo too…even Tala was lost for words… What’s going on here?_

“Kai?” he asked cautiously, well aware that when upset, Kai’s temper was on a short leash, just waiting to break loose. “Kai, who _was_ that guy?” Kai bit his lower lip, still clearly lingering somewhere between fuming and upset.

“He always stirs everything – always messes things up… Wyatt…and… _everything_ …”

“Kai?” Rei asked, worried at his incoherent words. “Kai, please you’re starting to scare me.” Kai stopped suddenly, turning towards him.

“Can’t you see it? Didn’t Zeo ever tell you?” he snapped, very close to shouting. “Zeo wasn’t always some wandering slut you know, he was decent once, he was _innocent_ once, and that bastard he – he… He broke him, in every way possible! Stripped him of all dignity and respect he ever had for himself. He played on Zeo’s love for him, twisted his feelings around and made him do things that…destroyed his soul to do, and when Zeo finally broke down, he managed to make Zeo believe he had no one but himself to blame… I think Zeo still believes that to this day…that’s why it hurts him so much.” Rei listened quietly for a moment, before daring speech.

“Zeo told me something about… The guy who he fell in love with, the one that… Hiro… Hiro was that guy?” Kai nodded, practically ripping open the door to their dormitory building. _There’s more to it than that…Tala and Kai…they seemed to **know** him, and that guy – Hiro, he seemed to know them too… Something’s not right here…_

 

 

TBC


	24. Beholden To Your Suffering

 

_Beholden To Your Suffering_

_~Twenty Four~_

 

 Rei opened his eyes after what seems like only seconds of closing them, lifting his head to look upon his and Kai’s clock radio he noticed that as a matter of fact, it had only been minutes – thirty minutes since he’d actually managed to fall asleep. _Great,_ he mentally growled, pulling himself to sit on the edge of the bed, _what a great start at acing my finals tomorrow – or **today** technically – no damn sleep!_ He shook his achy head, regretting it instantly as his migraine only intensified. “Geez…Kai, do we have any aspirin?” No answer. “Kai?” Turning his head, he noticed that save for himself, the bed was empty, Kai’s ‘mp3 player’ left playing where he’d been laying listening to it prior to Rei falling ‘ _asleep’_. “And he’s off again – Jesus this guy’s a fidget-ass.” Snatching up Kai’s prized possession (second only to his pride-and-joy, state-of-the-art Hi-fi system), and turning off the damned thing. “Kai would never leave this thing playing like that; he’s too damn efficient with these gadgets – friggin’ techno-freak…!”

 

 Slowly making his way across the dark bedroom, the Chinese boy pulled open the door, walking into the almost as dark living-area. “What the hell is going on?” Rei asked himself aloud, staring at the mute television set, the only source of light in the room. “Damn it Kai,” he growled, walking over to the TV set and setting the mp3 player down on top of it. _He must have been really out of it – still upset from earlier I suppose, this ‘Hiro’ guy, Kai, Zeo and Tala…they seemed pretty **upset** to say the least… The very least – Zeo the most, I’ve never seen Zeo cry at all, much less like that…_

 

 Suddenly he stilled. He’d heard a noise, a distinct hissing sound. Listening hard again, his eyes widened as he smelt smoke in the air, dashing quickly over to the stove, which he suddenly realised had been left running. Rushing over to remove the boiling over milk and turn the stove off, Rei cursed under his breath, setting the saucepan safely on the side. “Fucking hells Kai, are you trying to kill us?!” In hearing no reply again he felt worry rise up from within and grip at his paranoid mind.  _He left his mp3 player running, left the TV on, left milk boiling – this isn’t like Kai at all…what’s going on… Something’s wrong!_

 

 “Kai?” he called. No answer. “Kai where the fuck are you?!” Suddenly, as he stood perfectly still listening intently to the silence, Rei realised it wasn’t as silent as he’d first thought. A dull, hum of noise was coming from – somewhere. Following the dull noise back into the dark bedroom, Rei frowned slightly as he was faced with the closed bathroom door. “Is that…music?” _Highly depressing music,_ he added mentally, though he couldn’t put a name or artist to the song. _Damn these European bands, I **really** have to learn some of their names. _Turning the handle, Rei pushed the door open slowly, his heard thumping hard, shooting up into his throat at the sight he saw. Kai slouched over the sink, hands gripping the sides, crimson blood staining its usually white surface. “KAI!!!” The slate-haired boy leapt nearly clean out of his skin at Rei’s voice, stumbling backwards, slipping, his back collided with the side of the tub.

“Argh! Fuck!” he screamed out as Rei darted towards him, pulling him into a tight hug. The Russian boy fought his lover off, shoving him backwards roughly. “Damn it Rei, what the hell are you doing?!” Tears brewed in the Chinese boy’s golden eyes as he looked at him.

“ME? What are _you_ doing, how dare you fucking be so careless with your life?!!! Fucking cutting yourself! You selfish bastard! How dare you think of leaving me behind?!”

“You fucking idiot.” Kai growled.

“Me? Idiot? I ain’t the one slicing and dicing myself am I?” Kai scowled at him shoving him back further, getting to his feet.

“After _everything_ that we’ve been through together – after everything you’ve seen…after everything Wyatt threw away for me, do you _honestly_ think I’d hold his life in such little value as to throw mine away?” the slate-haired boy asked quietly.

“Then what’s this?!” Rei demanded, seizing up the blood-stained razor blade from the floor where Kai must have dropped it.  

“You really are an idiot… Fine, if you don’t believe me-” The taller boy held out his arms towards him, palms up, revealing his well-muscled arms – unblemished.

“Wha-What? Then where-?” Kai rolled his eyes.

“Moron…” he growled once more, seizing up the bladeless razor and presenting it to Rei. “The blade just slipped, I cut myself shaving you fucking idiot…” the Chinese boy blushed in embarrassment.

 

 “Well why the hell are you shaving at 3:00 am, dick head?” Rei questioned, trying to turn the subject away from his stupidity.

“I couldn’t sleep, so I thought I might as well get ready for today.”

“At three in the fecking morning?!”

“Yeah…” he replied simply, looking at Rei as if he were crazy, moving forwards to dab at the nasty looking scratch stretched from the side of his face to his chin.

“Well then what’s with the ‘throw myself off a bridge’ music?” Kai glowered at the raven-haired boy’s reflection, not turning to face him, just looking at him in the mirror.

“It’s _Our Lady Peace_ – it’s not _that_ depressing.”

“Whatever, why were you playing it at this ridiculous hour?”

“You weren’t asleep, I heard you get up.”

“Well then why didn’t you answer me? I called and called you! You left the TV, and your stupid MP3-thingy running, not to mention trying to blow us up with the stove!”

“You leave your shit running all the time-”

“-Well _you_ don’t! You scared the crap outta me! I thought something horrible had happened to you!”

“I was just making you some damn milk! I thought you might like some, since you were sleeping like someone was strangling you!” To this, Rei had no comeback.

 

 “Geez, I _won’t_ do anything for you in the future, excuse me if my bleeding face stopped me from rushing to turn off some damn milk! I assumed since you were there you’d turn it off.” Kai growled as the blood finally stopped oozing from the fresh cut, fumbling through the first aid kit for the right sized plaster. “You’re so paranoid…so easily scared…like a damn girl…” Rei’s head dropped slightly, as he sat on the edge of the tub.

“I know…sorry…if there was anyway I could change…” Kai looked up then, forgetting the band-aid at the sound of self-loathing in Rei’s voice.

“Hey…Rei, I-”

“-‘Cause I know, that with everything that happened to you…you need someone strong, and I…I’m sorry I can’t be like that for you…I’m so pathetic…”

“Hey.” Rei looked up, meeting his eyes in the mirror. “None of that. It’s not your fault I just… I’m still a little stressed out from this evening, you know? I…Hiro is… Tala and me and Zeo…even Wyatt… We all had a history with that guy that’s – well, it’s not something that exactly provokes good memories or emotions.”

“Yeah, I guessed… I’ve never seen Zeo so lost before. He’s always so strong, and careless when it comes to people like that… That Hiro guy must’ve really screwed with his head huh?” Kai nodded thoughtfully.

“He screwed with all our heads in a way I guess… That guy showing up…it’s the start of something bad…I’m sure of it, it’s – it’s just like before…”

 

 A long silence fell between them, in which Kai still routed through the first aid kit. Rei got to his feet slowly, taking a plaster from the box. “Here, let me do it,” he insisted, pulling off the plastic covering and smoothing the plaster over the cut, his long fingers wavering, stroking slightly over Kai’s cheek a moment longer than they had to. Suddenly Kai turned his face so that his lips met Rei’s hand, closing his eyes briefly.

“Just when I thought things might start getting good for everyone…” Rei smiled, stroking the hand that held his own to Kai’s cheek.

“It’s okay, ‘cause whatever these guys do, whatever life throws at us, we’ll fight it together…okay?” Kai nodded, his lips kissing Rei’s hand once more, before, making a gentle trail up the pale, soft arm, until he met the Chinese boy’s neck, pulling him by the arm he still had firm hold of against his chest. Assaulting the flushed flesh of Rei’s neck roughly with kisses and nips, Kai entangled his fingers in the mass of freely flowing raven hair, tilting the smaller boy’s head back lightly with a soft tug on his hair, exposing his throat for further examination, a small bruise from Kai’s earlier ‘revision’ lesson still remaining.

 

 “Damn it Rei,” Kai growled against the Chinese boy’s throat, nipping gently just behind his flushed ear, “you have no fucking idea just how much I adore you…” Rei whimpered slightly at the assault on his ear, as a wet tongue dipped against the shell of it swiftly.

“K-Kai gods,” Rei’s voice whispered feverishly, “we can’t do this right now…not with… _everything_ that’s… Oh god!” Golden eyes squeezed shut as Kai silenced him with a jerk of his hips against the others, making Rei’s hips instinctively push back.

“What’s the – rest of the world – got to do with us?” Kai breathed in-between ardent, rushed kisses against Rei’s lips.

“Poor Zeo, and – Brooklyn – and – ah!” he groaned out as Kai palmed his backside, pressing their suddenly hot bodies together.

“Stop being such a selfless bastard and think about something for yourself for once,” Kai whispered so quickly Rei only just understood the words.

“K-Kai if – you get me all – riled up I’ll never get to sleep – besides, I – I have a headache…” Kai smirked.

“Who said I’m letting you sleep?”

“We have finals!” Rei stated, half-heartedly trying to push Kai away.

“I’ll make you coffee later.”

“That’s not he point! Besides…”

“Come with me,” Kai ordered huskily, yanking the Chinese boy by the hand to the bedroom, shoving him roughly onto the bed.

 

**(WARNING!!!! You guys know the call, the lemon starts here and if ya dont wanna read it, continue on til the next warning, K?)**

 

 Not getting a chance to recover, Kai pulled Rei into a sitting position, quickly settling behind him, bringing his calloused fingers to the Chinese boy’s temples. Rei felt himself sighing softly as Kai made smooth, gentle, circular motions on his pained forehead. “Geez, Kai – I-” The Russian boy smirked, seeing quite clearly the _other_ affect his attentions were having on his roommate. Gently, the slate-haired-boy tilted his hips against the small of Rei’s back, making him cry out softly. “Gods Kai, _please_ …”

“Please what, Kitten?” Kai cooed in his flushed ear.

“You _know_ what Kai…”

“But you said you had a headache-”

“-Screw it, it’ll go away, just touch me!” Rei gasped. Kai shook his head.

“Sorry Kitten, you’ll just have to do it yourself…” The Chinese boy whimpered as Kai massaged his head instead of where he _wanted_ him to.

“B-But I can’t…”

“Why not?”

“’Cause you…you’re watching me…”

“I’ve seen it before, Kitten.”

“That’s not the-” he was cut off as Kai tilted the boy’s head to the side, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. Breaking apart, Kai resumed rubbing Rei’s temples gently, making the smaller boy cry out in frustration. “It’s embarrassing!” Kai tilted Rei’s head onto his shoulder, still massaging one side of his forehead as he used the other hand to pull Rei’s boxers down to mid-thigh.

 

 Kai’s fingers danced away from the quivering member, making Rei mewl in negation against his neck.

“Touch yourself Kitten…” he whispered in a voice dripping sex. Rei shook his head. “Go on…” Kai insisted, pressing Rei’s hand around his dripping member.

“Don’t look then…” Rei whimpered. Kai smirked.

“Oh no, I’m going to watch the whole beautiful show…” Shuddering with the tone of Kai’s voice, Rei moved his hand slowly, running slim fingertips hesitantly along the heated length, the very tip of his fingers pressing gently into the slit, closing his eyes, he could almost feel as if it were Kai’s hand. The said slate-haired boy smirked, stroking Rei’s inner-thigh gently, realising that Rei had quite forgotten his headache.

 

 “Look at you, you’re making such a mess…spilling out over yourself…” Kai purred in his flushed lover’s ear. Rei shook his head maddeningly, a quiver shooting up his spine, making his back arc forwards, as he spread the small oozing droplets across his length slowly. Again his hips instinctually lifted, seeking more friction than his trembling hand would allow, and he pressed his back hard against Kai.

“Please Kai… _please_ …” Kai smirked once more, leaning back, lying himself back on the bed, leaving Rei feeling quite alone in his tormented bliss.

 

 “Come here, Kitten…” that voice called in a seductive whisper. Rei turned weakly, crawling over to Kai on all fours, blushing furiously at the lecherous look in those crimson eyes. Rei hissed out his tortured pleasure as his painful erection skimmed Kai’s stomach, the eyes of his lover still holding that perverted gaze he found himself liking a little too much.

“K-Kai please…I… _need_ …”

“Need what, Kitten?”

“I need you, _please_ …” Kai, wearing what Rei thought now his trademark smirk, pulled Rei up onto his chest for a scorching kiss. Pulling his own boxers free from his legs as well as Rei’s, Kai pushed Rei back gently, causing the boy to kneel over his hips and his own burgeoning erection. Flushing like a virgin school-girl, the smaller boy nervously took the tube of lubricant offered him from his lover, shyly stroking it over Kai’s length. Risking a look back up to Kai’s face as he manoeuvred the liquid over the erection, he found himself blushing even darker at Kai’s lustful eyes watching him. _Gods, I wish he wouldn’t look at me like that…it’s embarrassing!_

 

 Releasing his hold on his lover spread out underneath him, Rei leant back so he was kneeling over Kai once more, spreading more lubricant over his fingers, and bashfully reaching round, pressing the lubricated fingers up into himself. The slate-haired boy watched two fingers edge into entry, slowly stretching the _not_ so resistant entrance, his own face flushed with heated passion at watching his lover basically fingering himself.

 

 Not able to take anymore torture, Kai pulled Rei’s hands gently down. Rei lowered himself skittishly, hissing in only slight discomfort as he felt Kai thrust himself completely in with a single arch of his hips, before resting back on the bed. Pale hands seized desperate hold of Kai’s arms, as he lifted himself up and down slowly, growing adjusted quite quickly thanks to what his damn pervert of a lover _Kai_ called ‘practice’.

 

 A sound of pure ecstasy that ripped from that pale throat drove Kai crazy, his hips arcing up into the maddening gyrations of Rei’s lower body, the slate-haired boy watching his lover’s erection bob with every frustrated thrust. Rei, quite past his shyness cried out in pure wanton abandon, relishing the ‘would-be’ embarrassingly wet noises of flesh against flesh. The raven-haired boy thrust his hips downward, unknowingly clamping his muscles around Kai’s length, his legs getting weaker, feeling like they were turning to jelly, resulting in the downward motions becoming heavier, filling him deeper. Suddenly Rei felt Kai’s blunt nails rake into his hips, holding him fast against him as he punched his hips forwards, spilling himself inside him. Again flushing at the odd sensation, Rei found his own member swelling to the point of almost agony, tossing his head back as he followed Kai into release. Falling weakly onto Kai’s chest, feeling his own semen dirtying his stomach as well as Kai’s, Rei panted hard, trying to recover some form of control over his own body.

 

**(WARNING!!! Safe ta read again guys ^_^)**

 

 A hot hand came to brush away the raven hair that was clinging to his forehead with the sweat, making him sigh softly. “Sneaky…” he managed out, hearing a smile grace Kai’s lips. “You always cheat to make me do it…” Kai squeezed the boy’s shoulders gently.

“You’re the one that begged for it little kitten, don’t blame _this_ one on me.”

“Kai?” The said boy sighed.

“Yes?”

“I’m still worried for Zeo…”

“Of course you are,” Kai sighed again, his voice almost sarcastic. “Nice to know that even _after_ sex with me your mind still goes back to Zeo...” Rei frowned slightly as Kai pushed Rei back and off him gently, making an awkward wet noise in doing so as Kai pulled himself from inside Rei, getting uneasily to his feet.

“Kai, that’s not-”

“-I get it – I get it okay. You’re worried. I _get_ it. But you just can’t see it can you?” Rei sat up, ignoring the semen drizzling down the backs of his thighs from his orifice, tilting his head slightly in confusion of Kai’s words.

“What do you-”

“-Zeo so wants you.” Rei frowned.

“No… No that’s not-”

“-You honestly don’t see it do you? The way he watches you with me, or just in general, like some predator watching his prey before he pounces – the guy _wants_ you, Rei.” Rei still looked confused.

“But Zeo loves Brooklyn, Kai.” Kai rolled his eyes.

“You don’t get it…Zeo he… I told you, Hiro, he fucked Zeo’s head up, _did_ things to him, made him _do_ torturous, humiliating things that fucked his brain up so bad he was too ashamed to even _think_ about. To him, he no longer needs to love someone to _want_ them. You don’t get it-”

“-You keep saying that-”

“-Well you _don’t_. The guy he…There is _nothing_ innocent or pure left in him anymore, that’s why he… he wants you because you _are_.” Rei flushed. Kai scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. “You’re everything pure and innocent and… _perfect_ in this stupid, cruel world and he sees that as well as me…that’s why he wants you, despite being in love with Brook.” 

 

 A short silence followed Kai’s words, before Rei finally spoke.

“Despite all that…I don’t like Zeo in that way, Kai. I… You should know by now that you’re the first and only person I’ve ever loved…I…I love you, Kai.” Kai smiled slightly, kissing the top of his head gently.

“I know…it wasn’t some jealously wrath…I’m sorry I just… If you left me I think I’d go crazy…” Rei didn’t know how to answer, still reeling from the fact that Kai had pushed away another opportunity to say the words Rei desperately wanted – no _needed_ to hear. _One day,_ he thought, _one day he’ll tell me he loves me…_

 

*                 *                 *

 

 Rei sighed as he leant back against the wall, waiting patiently for Kevin. He closed his eyes thoughtfully against the cold, empty halls, the sun not streaming through the archways and windows as usual, instead hiding as if in fear behind the heavy clouds, which loomed overhead, threatening more snow. Rei’s felt apprehensive today, a strange feeling weighing in his chest. It wasn’t his finals, not at all, in fact the damn things were over and done with, and he was pretty sure (thanks to a cramming session earlier this morning with Kai), that he’d pulled off at least a pass on all of them. In point of fact, he’d finished before most others, but upon regaining some spare time to contemplate the last 48 hours or so, he came over quiet ill. He remembered the frantic look across Kevin’s features as the exam invigilator came to his side, asking if he felt okay. Nodding his lie that he was okay, the woman simply gave him permission to get some air if he was finished. Giving Kevin a reassuring look, the raven-haired boy snatched up his bag, leaving the hall.

 

  _Come to think of it, Kevin seemed pretty distracted as well_ , Rei thought a he heard rustling and scuffling about in the next room, telling him the exam was over, and everyone was coming out. _Maybe Kevin knows a little more about this ‘Hiro’ guy than I first thought…maybe Kevin was here when **whatever** happened, happened…_

 

 A soft tap on his shoulder snapped the Chinese boy from his daze, bringing him back to reality and the short green-haired boy now standing before him with a forced smile. “Ready?” Rei nodded.

 

 “Tough exam, huh?” Kevin sighed, stretching his arms dramatically over his head. “It was okay, I mean, I know because we’re from another country we need to take it but heck, I’ve been speaking English since I was five-years-old, and I don’t need all that ‘Old-ye-English’ – _Shakespeare_ crap to make it any better.” Rei smiled weakly, knowing Kevin wasn’t truly thinking about the exam. “But anyways, we’re done with these crappy exams ‘til June next year now, so why don’t you say we go find our guys and-”

“-Kevin?” Rei cut him off quietly, making the boy look up at him as they walked.

“Yeah?”

“Can’t you tell me?” The dark-haired-boy asked, just as quiet as before, “about Zeo and… _Hiro_ , I mean…You know more than me, I can guess that from how you were trying to keep Tala out of it…” Kevin avoided his eyes, watching the linoleum floor intently as they made their way over to a window’s archway, the smaller of the two jumping up to sit on the arced sill, gazing thoughtfully out of the arch into the courtyard. It seemed a long time before either of them spoke.

 

 “I told you about Kai, because…I was worried, about the both of you…”

“How’d you mean?” asked Rei in confusion.

“I _mean_ that…Kai was never going to tell you, at least not before it was too late, and he pushed you away, or really hurt you, so I…” he trailed off for a moment, before seeming to find his voice. “I’m not proud of what I did, of telling Kai’s secrets but I…I couldn’t stand to see him lose someone who cared about him, all because he was too scared to speak up…” Rei’s brow creased with a frown, _I always thought that Kevin and Kai hated each other – but then again, I thought the same about Zeo and Kai, but after last night…_

 

_“Zeo wasn’t always some wandering slut you know, he was decent once, he was innocent once, and that bastard he – he… He broke him, in every way possible! Stripped him of all dignity and respect he ever had for himself. He played on Zeo’s love for him, twisted his feelings around and made him do things that…destroyed his soul to do, and when Zeo finally broke down, he managed to make Zeo believe he had no one but himself to blame…”_

 

 Rei pondered Kai’s words, recalling the hurt look in his lover’s eyes. Kai was worried, even sympathetic towards Zeo. It was only after that moment that he truly appreciated that Kai, Zeo and Tala, held a much treasured friendship that many couldn’t even begin to understand. _Perhaps it’s the same with him and Kevin…_

 

 “I wasn’t there for Kai or Wyatt, for _any_ of them when…when Kai and Wyatt got… Heck you know what I mean. I was home in Japan at that time, and Tala was visiting – so you see? It’s all my fault, if Tala wasn’t with me _none_ of this would have happened!!” Rei dropped his gaze.

“But…if Wyatt hadn’t…if Wyatt was still here…then Kai and I wouldn’t be together…” Kevin looked at him with an unnameable emotion crossing his features. “So you see…everything happens for a reason…It’s not your fault.” Kevin sighed.

“Even so…This _Hiro_ guy, all I know is that…he fucked Zeo up, _long_ before I met Tala and the others, so, all I know is what Tala told me, and that wasn’t much… All I know is Hiro broke Zeo in every possible way, made him think it was  his own fault for everything that’d happened, and then…”

 

 “Then?” prodded Rei. Kevin shook his head lightly.

“I don’t know, all I know is Hiro disappeared after that.”

“So, we’re both in the dark here?” Kevin nodded.

“I’m afraid that the only people than can tell us are Zeo and the others, and in the mean time, me, you and Brook are in the dark.” As if suddenly remembering the red-head, Rei’s eyes widened.

“Isn’t Zeo even going to tell Brooklyn?” The green-haired boy shrugged in response.

“I don’t know. Don’t think so.”

“How come?”

“Well, Zeo didn’t turn up to his exams today, and Tyson said he wouldn’t come out of bed or even talk to anyone, except to say that he didn’t want to see Brooklyn.”

 

 Rei pulled himself up onto the arch with his friend, his elbows on his knees, propping his head up.

“What’re we gonna do, Kev?” Said boy shrugged once more, not finding an answer.

“And all on Christmas… What a great holiday this’ll be, huh?” _That’s right,_ thought Rei, _with all this confusion, I completely forgot it was Christmas soon…_

 

 “Hey, guys!” Both Chinese boys looked up at the sound of the familiar voice, seeing, Tyson, Max and Tala heading towards them.

“Aced your _English lit_ exam?” asked Tala, seizing Kevin by his arms roughly, pressing a kiss to his lips, before freeing him from his grip. Rei smirked. Tala always overcompensated for inner-agony with amorousness.

“Yep. We’ve officially all finished for this term now,” Rei replied for the smaller boy, “Guess we’re all free until January, eh?” Max nodded chirpily, his arm entwined with Tyson’s.

 

 “Where’s Kai?” asked Rei, “didn’t he have an ICT exam with you guys?” Tala nodded.

“Yeah, he did, but he finished before us and asked if he could be excused, so we don’t know where he went.” Rei frowned.

“Kai said he’d meet me after the exam, but he never did. It’s not like him to leave me hanging – especially with guys like Hiro looming around.” Tala shared an uneasy look with the Max and Tyson, before meeting Rei’s golden eyes. “What?” asked Rei, feeling panic brew up inside him. “What’s wrong?”

“Well…it’s just…Hiro’s always made Kai a little agitated…maybe he just…”

“Tala.” Rei demanded. “There’s something you’re not telling me.” Tala merely watched him with uncertain eyes.

“I’m sorry Rei, I honestly don’t know where he is-”

“-That’s _not_ what I meant and _you_ know it,” the raven-haired boy practically growled. “What the _hell_ is going on here?” Suddenly Tala’s face was stern, and if Rei wasn’t so furious right now, maybe he’d be a little scared of it.

“Listen here, Rei. This isn’t something I can just spit out; it’s not my secret to tell. It’s Zeo’s, so don’t start with me, ‘cause I’m not gonna betray their trust in me… I owe it to them, for not being able to be there for them…” Rei’s eyes widened.

“Them?” repeated Rei.

“What the hell are you-”

“-You said _‘them’_ , meaning… Kai is involved in this somehow, isn’t he?” Rei pushed, jumping off the window sill, landing before Tala’s feet. “That’s why Kai’s been so… He’s deeper into this than I realised, and I’m guessing, by the way Hiro brought Wyatt into it, that Wyatt had something to do with it too, didn’t he?”

“Rei stop it.” Tala ordered, sounding almost like a snarl the way it came out.

“I’m not asking about Zeo, I’m asking about Kai. Is it so wrong to want to know how to help the person I love?”

“No, it’s not wrong, but I ain’t gonna be the one to help you.” Tala finished, turning on his heel and stalking down the hall and out of sight.

 

*                 *                 *

 

 Rei let out a low sigh as he raised his hand slowly, knocking gently on the oak door. No answer. He knocked a little harder. Again no sound from inside. “Zeo? Zeo I know you’re in there, it’s me, Rei. Can you come to the door?” No answer. He thumped his fist on the door as hard as he dared this time, beginning to become angry. Why did no one trust him all of a sudden? Hadn’t he suffered at Aoki and Bryan’s hands with them? Hadn’t he been there and pulled Kai through when Wyatt died? Didn’t that count for anything? He knew that some might say it wasn’t his place, but it wasn’t right to isolate him, Kevin and especially Brooklyn, (who’d done more for Kai than _anyone_ could imagine) by not telling them the truth.

 

 “Zeo answer this damn door! Kai is missing so please can you just-” The raven-haired boy was cut off as the door opened, except the person standing in the dark doorway wasn’t Zeo.

“Rei,” the slate-haired boy muttered blankly.

“Kai? Kai what the hell are you doing here? I was worried sick about you! I thought that something was wrong because you didn’t come get me!” Kai said nothing, his voice and expression blank. “Well are you gonna tell me what’s going on?”

“This is none of your-”

“- _‘None of my business’_ right? Well guess what Kai, I may not have been there when – _whatever_ it was happened, but I thought we had a deal. I thought that being your _lover_ meant something!” Both boys glanced uneasily up the corridor as a few doors opened, heads poking round to see who in their block was arguing.

“Get in.” Rei’s eyes widened in shock as his lover snatched his elbow, dragging him into the dim room. As the door slammed shut, Rei looked through the dimness, the curtains drawn against the harsh daylight and cold winter sky, and the raven-haired boy spied Zeo, sitting on the side of his bed, looking quite dishevelled, clinging to his duvet which was draped round him as if for dear life.

 

 “Kai, Zeo, what’s-”

“-Listen, Rei,” Kai said, his voice still devoid of emotion as he took a seat on the couch beside Zeo’s bed. “This _isn’t_ your business, so _butt_ out.”

“I thought you said you told me everything that night!” Kai frowned, looking confused as Rei screamed at him.

“What’re you-”

“-You said to me that night, when you told me about Wyatt and – _everything_ that we wouldn’t keep secrets anymore. Well what’s this?! Because I _know_ that you, and probably even Wyatt had some deeper involvement in all this than you’re letting on.” Kai and the currently silent Zeo shared an uneasy look, before Kai glared at his lover.

“That fucking prick Kevin, how dare he-”

“-Kevin didn’t say anything, hell he and Brooklyn are just as clueless as I am! And Tala and the others said nothing either, I figured it out myself.”

 

 After a long moment in which the silence grew stagnant, Kai finally shrugged, leaning back into the sofa. “It doesn’t matter, because I’m not saying anything more…” Rei bit his lip, taking a seat on the arm of the sofa furthest from Kai. “Besides, you weren’t exactly honest with me that night either, were you?”

“What?”

“Well Rei, we seem to have made a good side-show act of _my_ love-life, _my_ first lover’s death and even _my_ miserable childhood, but what we’ve yet to learn about is _you_.”

“What the hell does that have to do with-”

“-Nothing. Except the fact that you weren’t honest with me, so why should I have to be? I’m not saying anything…” Zeo was keeping out of the conversation, staring cautiously at the two others in the room with him but not interrupting the argument on either of their behalf.

 

 “And…what about Brooklyn?” Rei asked suddenly, his voice quiet. “Don’t you think he deserves to know what’s going on?” The two other boys in the room met his eyes in the gloominess of the room. “He loves you, both of you, you can’t shut _him_ out, at the very least you-”

“-And what is it to you?!” Kai yelled making Rei and Zeo jump out of their skin. “This isn’t about you, but here you come, and make it all about _‘Poor Little Rei’_. Well guess what _‘Lover’_ this isn’t about you, this is about Zeo and that fuck-ass Hiro, so you, Brooklyn, and that little brown-nosing Kevin can just get lost!”

“We’re talking about the man who has been your father for the last eleven years!”

“And _I’m_ talking about a guy that waltzed into my life from nowhere and hurt _everyone_ I’ve ever loved! This has _nothing_ to do with you, so I’ll say it once more Rei, before I get violent; _Butt out._ ”

 

 Rei was taken aback a moment, his golden gaze dropping to the floor.

“So…it’s true then…”

“What’s true?” the slate-haired boy asked, his voice softer than before, in light of the other boy’s dejected tone.

“You…You really don’t love me, do you?” Rei raised his head, looking Kai straight in the eyes. “I had my suspicions, after all the times you just waved off my declarations of my feelings and…how you’ve never told me, not _once_ that you love me. I guess…I guess there’s no place for me in your heart after all, is there?” Kai looked confused, and Zeo looked torn between shocked and depressed, still silent. “You never loved me, not the way you loved, bled and _breathed_ Wyatt, and you…you never will, will you?” Rei winced at the feeling of tears pricking against the back of his eyes. Spinning round, the Chinese boy darted towards the door, disappearing out of it.

 

 Hearing the door slam shut, Kai let out a small sigh, which Zeo couldn’t distinguish as a distinct emotion. But it was guilt. Feeling a heavy weight on the back of his neck, Kai turned, and sure enough, Zeo was fitting him with a stare laden with both guilt and sadness.

“I know what you’re thinking Zeo, so spare me the lecture.”

“Kai-”

“-Zeo, no-”

“-Kai you have to go after him. You have to tell him about-”

“-I _can’t_ Zeo, okay? If I tell him about it, _your_ part of all this will come out too, and you don’t want Brooklyn to know, do you?” Zeo fell silent. “See, it’s exactly the same with me, neither Brooklyn nor Rei can know. I just…” Kai sighed heavily, moving over to sit next to Zeo on the bed. “I can’t have Rei look at me like that, Zeo… With those eyes, so sympathetic and, understanding and… _pitying_ …I can’t burden him with my worries, I _won’t_ do that to him; the same as you don’t want Brooklyn to know. So drop this, okay?”

 

 Zeo exhaled deeply, folding the corner of his duvet absentmindedly.

“Rei really loves you Kai…he’s unlike anyone I’ve ever met before, he’s paranoid and sensitive for sure, but he’s…it’s more than just being an uncommonly beautiful, _feminine_ male you know…I can’t explain it.” Kai rolled his eyes.

“Whatever-”

“-No, not _whateve_ r, I know that you and Wyatt loved each other, that once you would have _died_ for each other but Kai, you have to come to grips with the fact that he’s _gone_. He’s gone Kai, he’s gone and he isn’t coming back.” Kai bit his lip to keep it from trembling, leaping to his feet. Zeo snatched the slate-haired boy’s arm, holding him back. “Rei’s _alive_ , and he loves you. Wyatt would want you to be happy, Kai. Kai listen!”

“I don’t _want_ to listen, damn you!” The slate-haired boy winced as he tried to pull his arm from Zeo’s grip, but he failed.

“Stop wasting your life looking to the door, waiting for Wyatt to walk through! I know it hurts Kai but you have to face it! I loved Wyatt too, he was one of my best friends and sometimes I miss him so much, but we have to move on!”

“You don’t understand-”

“-No I _don’t_ understand! Let’s face it Kai, you’ve shut everybody out of your heart ever since Wyatt got hurt because you still blame yourself. _Nobody_ has understood you and if you don’t stop wallowing in self pity they _never_ will!” SMACK. Zeo went flying backwards onto the bed, Kai standing there, seething with anger. Rubbing his bruised jaw, the green-haired boy regained his footing. “I don’t know about Rei, but the rest of us are _tired_ of jumping the hurdles that you shove around yourself! I know it hurts, hell don’t you think I _know_ what hurt feels like?! We’ve been together through _everything_! I would have thought that you could trust us-”

“-This isn’t about trust, Zeo, so drop it! This is _my_ life, I’ll live it how I see fit and if I see fit to _‘waste it’_ then that’s _my_ choice!”

 

 The Russian boy stalked over to the door, snatching his jacket from where it lay over the back of the sofa as he went. He was caught back as Zeo seized hold of his arm once more, and the fuming slate-haired boy spun on his heel to face him. “I care about you Kai, you’ve been there to see me through so much, so please, don’t make me watch you lose yourself.” Kai sneered.

“I thought you were _‘all tired of me’_ ,” he spat back, shoving the green-haired boy away from him and stomping out the door.

 

*                 *                 *

 

 Rei hiccupped as he flung open the door to his dormitory, letting it close by itself behind him. Why had his life suddenly decided to take a nosedive for the dirt? Throwing himself onto the sofa, the Chinese boy wiped the tears from his face with the sleeve of his shirt. _What did I do that was so wrong? What the hell have I done to deserve this?!_ He’d walked the campus all afternoon, trying to figure things out in his head, hopefully find some answers to the raging problems in his life. In reality, however, all the walk did was allow him to find time alone to figure out some brand new problems in his life.

 

 Glancing round the dormitory he neither saw nor heard any signs of Kai. _If he were here he’d be playing that music of his full-blast,_ Rei realised. _He’s still not here?_ Well, he wouldn’t have been here himself were it not for the snow that still threatened to fall, and the impending darkness of the fast approaching evening. Though he’d never admit it, he didn’t really like the idea of wandering around the campus alone, in the dark, especially with people like Aoki, Hiro and Bryan hovering somewhere nearby. Suddenly Rei yelped, snatched from his thoughts and leaping up in shock as the phone on the table beside the sofa started ringing.

 

 “Yeah?”

“Rei?” Rei blinked, squinting slightly, trying to get his eyes to refocus. He was just feeling so exhausted.

“Yeah? Who is this?” Wincing from the way his leg folded underneath him, the sudden pain in his backside was the sudden reminder of the events of earlier that morning. _Right, no wonder I’m so shattered, I didn’t have any damn sleep last night!_

“It’s Brooklyn.”

“Oh, right, sorry,” he frowned, not recognizing Brooklyn without his trademark ‘happy-go-lucky’ attitude. “What can I do for you?”

“I was wondering where Kai was.” Rei's heart skipped a beat.

“He isn’t at Zeo and Tyson’s?”

“No…I checked there first, and he’s not with Tala, or Max, or even _Kevin_ either. I had hoped that…maybe you’d found him.”

“No, we…we sorta…” he couldn’t bring himself to relive what had happened out loud. He might have been faced with the brutality of the truth that Kai didn’t love him, but to say it out loud…that would definitely kill him, he was sure of it.

“He argued with Zeo as well, Rei he’s really upset, I’m worried about what he might do.” Rei’s eyes widened, his long, pale fingers clutching the phone a little tighter.

“What do you mean?” he asked shakily.

“Rei, everything he’s ever had has been stripped away from him. With Wyatt, and his relationship with you, exams, the competitions, his friends and now this _Hiro_ guy… He’s on the verge of breaking Rei, he can’t be held responsible for what he does.”

 

 Panic rang through Rei’s ears as it rose in Brooklyn’s voice, and in Rei’s chest. In a split second, thousands of graphic images shot through his head like a bullet, all of what could have happened to Kai. He mentally shook himself. He couldn’t lose it, not now.

 

 “I’ll go look for him-”

“-No! You stay put, you’ve got my number, call us if he comes home, the rest of us will go.”

“But Brooklyn I-”

“-You have to stay there, trust me, Rei, if Kai is headed anywhere in particular he’ll find his way to you. I’ll call.” A low beep sounded as Brooklyn hung up, and Rei set the phone down slowly, gazing blankly around the room, as if trying to come to grips with everything. It felt like someone had dumped a tonne of bricks on him, and he was struggling to get free, but failing miserably. _What am I gonna do? – Don’t panic Rei – But Kai is – He’s fine, just sulking somewhere, just sit back an he’ll waltz in that door with that arrogant look on his face like nothing’s happened_.

 

 His raging mind managed to reason with him for the moment, the sore, throbbing pain in his behind helping to distract him. “Yikes, maybe I should put something on it. Kai was really rough on me this morning.” He winced as he stumbled to his feet, suddenly wondering why the pain was only just making itself known, “feh! Maybe I just had so much crap going on; it didn’t feel so bad earlier. I always have this dull ache afterwards but this damn well _burns_!” All the while talking to himself, (finding it calmed his nerves slightly) Rei walked into the bedroom, rummaging through one of Kai’s drawers and dropping himself down on the bed as he found what he was looking for. He winced, instantly regretting the move, and sliding so that he was resting on his hip mostly. Fiddling with the belt on his jeans he pushed them down to his ankles, along with his boxers, and twisted the lid off the top of the tub of cream. “For once I’m glad Kai comes prepared for all this sex and not just freaked out that he seems to plan it.”

 

 “Eep!” he squealed as the cold cream touched to the sore flesh, body trying to recoil from it slightly. “Damn you Kai,” he growled under his breath, smoothing some more of the lotion over his abused entrance. “C-Crap! It hurts!”

“Oh, so sorry about that.” Rei started, leaping from the bed at the cooing whisper. Spinning round Rei’s golden eyes widened in horror, stuck dead still like a deer in headlights.

“W-What are you doing here?” The man smiled, a twisted, sickening look that made Rei’s stomach turn.

“I _was_ looking for Kai. But... _this_ is oh _so_ much better.” Rei swallowed hard, going to back away, without realising his jeans and underwear were still round his ankles. Stumbling backwards, knocking the table beside the bed, sending the lamp crashing to the floor, taking with it all light, Rei landing square on his backside on the floor.

 

 Wincing, Rei arched his head back in pain, trying to scramble backwards blindly, his back colliding with the wall, he was trapped. Hiro leant down on all fours over Rei’s momentarily stunned body, his hot breath steaming onto Rei’s face. “Ah! Get off! Get away from me you bastard!” A low, cruel laugh whispered into Rei’s ears, making him shove roughly against the blue-haired boy’s shoulders, trying to push him off. “GET OFF ME!”

“I think not – _Kitten_? Wasn’t that what I heard Kai call you?” Rei froze, eyes widening in the dimness. Shifting his legs and kicking wildly, trying to get free, Rei let out a cry of pain, shards from the broken lamp scratching into his skin.

“H-How did you know what Kai calls me?” he asked shakily, biting back tears of pain. He could feel the fresh blood ooze down his skin as he waited for Hiro to reply.

 

 “I just stopped by the dorm this morning, heard you and Kai, _at it_ , as it were.” Rei winced, trying to shift backwards but finding no more room to do so.

“There _was_ someone in the dorm this morning. _You_ were here! You turned off all the lights and freaked the hell outta me!” Hiro smirked.

“Very good, Kitten. I _had_ intended to do worse than scare you, but the both of you were just so – _involved_ this morning I didn’t have the heart to interrupt you. Besides…that would have spoilt the wonderful show I got.” Rei snarled.

“BASTARD! GET AWAY FROM ME! AH!” Rei screamed as Hiro smacked him hard in his cheek, making the raven-haired boy slam hard back to the ground, shards of china from the lamp’s stem sticking into his legs and back. “PLEASE GET OFF ME! IT HURTS!!!”

“That’s what they all say, little one. You’re so very like how Zeo was back then.” Rei’s eyes shot open. “He was some little vestal virgin, _exactly_ like you now. No matter, I’ll have to break you in like I did him. I have to lend Kai a hand after all…”

“GET OF ME! LEAVE THAT ALONE!” Hiro smirked once more, pulling Rei’s shirt up over his head, leaving it bunched around his elbows, effectively trapping his arms and hands in the fabric. “YOU BASTARD! GET OFF ME OR I’LL RIP YOUR DAMN DICK OFF!!!”

“Oh really? I think that is what we would call an empty threat. Been in this kind of position before, Kitten?” Rei winced again, feeling shards embed into his back, a small whimper escaping his lips.

“Don’t!”

“Don’t what-”

“-Don’t call me that, _don’t_ call me that name.”

“Why? Because Kai called you it? Who’ll call you it now he’s gone, Kitten?” Rei started.

“What? What’ve you done to Kai? If you’ve hurt him I’ll fucking _KILL_ you!!!” That laugh again. That hollow merciless sound that made Rei shudder.

“Let’s not talk about Kai; he’s a thing of the past…” Rei screamed again, this time, in outrage and anger. Rough, calloused fingers encircled his length, shadowing over the slit.

“YOU PERVERTED RAPIST! GET YOUR HAND OFF THAT!”

 

 “Ah! Please, stop it…” Rei winced again as his body arched uncontrollably away and towards that unwanted hand, giving him that unwanted pleasure, causing more shards to lodge into his skin, making him cry out. Hiro looked down on him with cruel, hazel eyes, squeezing Rei gently.

“Beg me to let you up off the ground.” Rei shook his head.

“F-Fuck you asshole! I’ll NEVER beg you for ANYTHING! I’d sooner DIE!”

“Silly boy. That’s what Zeo used to say, see how he changed. Now he _begs_ to sleep with every male in the town. I can make you like that you know, and with Kai gone, we’ll have _plenty_ of time to make the change.”   
“GET OFF! NO!” Screaming as he was pushed back, Hiro pressed his finger into Rei’s bruised entrance. “NO! DON’T!”

“It hurts, doesn’t it? The quickest stimulus of learning your place, I find, is pain.”

“NO MORE! STOP IT! KAI! KAI HELP ME!!!”

“You stupid boy, when will you ever learn that-” He was silenced. Rei leapt to his feet, ripping off the shirt that bound his hands, as Hiro went flying off him, lying crumpled on the floor, stumbling stupidly to his feet. Zeo stood beside him, dropping his weapon, the bat to the floor, shaking all over.

“Zeo? What’re you-”

“-ZEO?” Hiro snarled, cutting Rei off. “YOU? How _dare_ you strike _me_?!”

“I-I’m – I’m sorry Hiro, But I – I won’t let you hurt my friends anymore. No more…”

“Why you…I thought you once said you’d never do anything to make me hate you, Zeo?” Zeo swallowed hard, still shaking.

“I know…I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“-I’ll deal with you later,” Hiro cooed, getting to his feet, capturing Zeo’s chin gently, meeting his eyes, “Zeo, my sweet.” Rei flinched as he pulled his pants up quickly, watching Hiro walk slowly from the bedroom. The two boys remaining in the room only breathed again once they heard the front door open and close, and in the silence, heard Hiro’s heavy steps in the hall beyond the dormitory, thin as the walls were.

 

 “Rei? Rei are you alright?” Rei gasped a moment, tears falling silently down his face, and Zeo darted over to him, wrapping his arms round him.

“Oh, God, Zeo I was so scared!” he cried, clinging onto Zeo’s front, “And I just know he’s done something to Kai. Zeo if anything happens to Kai I’ll just die I know I will! And Hiro – he nearly raped me!”

“It’s alright Rei, you’re okay now-”

“-I just let the door close behind me earlier, when I came in. It must not have closed properly.”

“Rei?” Rei quietened, realising he was being stupid and babyish. Then he realised, Zeo was stroking his hair. _Oh gods, no!_

“Zeo? Why can I smell alcohol? Have you been drinking?”

“That’s not important – Rei I…” Rei flinched, “you’re so beautiful…” Suddenly, before he could stop it, Zeo tilted his head up to look at him, pressing an ardent drunken kiss on his lips. The green-haired boy broke away for air, leaving Rei struggling to be free.

“ZEO GET OFF ME!”

“I’m sorry, Rei,” Zeo mumbled, hugging Rei’s shoulders softly. “I didn’t mean to do that I just…I’m so lost…I-”

“-Maybe I should’ve bothered coming back.” Both sets of eyes darted to the open bedroom door, and Rei’s golden eyes widened.

“Kai?” Rei gasped.

“What the _hell_ is going on?!” The slate-haired boy growled out.

 

TBC


	25. It’s Because I Love You

_It’s Because I Love You_

_~Twenty Five~_

 

 Rei felt his heart skip a beat, as he looked up to see Kai framed in the doorway, glaring at the scene on his bedroom floor with a fire in his eyes that made Rei shudder.

“Kai, I-”

“-Get out…” The slate-haired boy growled, cutting across Zeo’s words. “GET OUT YOU DRUNKEN BASTARD! GET OUT!!!” Zeo got to his feet, casting a quick glance down at Rei before meeting Kai’s eyes.

“You can’t tell me what to do…” Kai’s crimson eyes widened, fists clenching at his sides. Rei let out a small scream as Kai darted forwards, knocking Zeo off his feet, both of them crashing to the floor.

“KAI NO! STOP IT!” he yelled frantically, leaping to his feet and running over to them, hearing a cry of pain from Zeo as Kai’s fist collided with his face – over and over again.

“YOU FUCKING SELFISH PRICK!!! YOU JUST TAKE **EVERYTHING** AWAY FROM ME DON’T YOU?!!!”

“KAI DON’T! YOU’LL KILL HIM!!!” His hands seized Kai’s shoulders pulling desperately, trying to get him off. “STOP IT!!!”

 

 Suddenly Zeo screeched in agony, kicking Kai hard in the stomach, sending him flying backwards, taking Rei with him. The Chinese boy hissed, his eyes watering as his back collided with the bed-frame, Kai recovering from his collision with the floor and scrambling over to Rei’s side.

“Rei? Rei, are you alright?” the said boy nodded as Kai sat on the end of the bed, pulling Rei up onto it by his arms.

“Will you two fucking _idiots_ stop acting like _dicks_ now?!” Rei screamed, the two boys in the room with him watching him carefully. “Z-Zeo…you’d better go now…I…thank you, for saving me from Hiro…” Rei threw Kai a threatening look as he opened his mouth to question the _‘Hiro’_ portion of his words, and he silenced – momentarily at least. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow…” the green-haired boy swallowed hard, nodding slightly as he struggled to his feet, stumbling out of the (still open) bedroom door. Kai got from his seat beside Rei, looming in the bedroom-doorway, watching Zeo leave out of the front door and closing it behind him.

 

 The slate-haired boy cursed under his breath about his ‘friend’ who’d just left, striding over to the front door and turning the lock, making sure to pull the latch across as well. He wasn’t having any more ‘old friends’ dropping by unexpectedly tonight; he’d had quite enough of them…

 

 Wincing as he pulled his jeans and underwear completely off, Rei felt the remaining shards of china embedded in his legs and side, not forgetting the fresh bruise now brewing in his back, and the ache still throbbing painfully in his behind. “S-Shit that hurts…”

“Here,” Rei turned on hearing Kai’s voice, yelping in shock as Kai pressed him face down into the mattress, pinching a pair of tweezers together menacingly.

“Kai? What’re you-”

“-Lie still. They’re not in deep.” The raven-haired boy flinched as his lover plucked the small shattered shards from his skin in swift motions, limiting the pain.

 

 “Kai?” Rei asked softly after he felt the final shard pulled out. He received no answer. Turning his head to the side, he watched as Kai threw the blood-stained china splinters into the bin, bending down to sweep the remnants of the lamp into a dustpan, seeming to take as long as he possibly could while doing so. “Kai? Kai _say_ something.” The slate-haired boy stood up straight, gazing across at Rei with a stoic expression on his face.

“Like what would you like me to say, Rei?” The Chinese boy’s brow furrowed in frustration.

“It’s not like I _did_ anything! Excuse me if I nearly got raped by Hiro! I didn’t kiss Zeo back so stop taking all this out on me! If you were here with me then _none_ of this would’ve happened!”

 

 Kai’s face looked livid for a moment, as if he was about to leap forward and smack Rei across the face, but he didn’t. He raised a hand, fingers skirting into his hair and pulling it in exasperation.

“I know…I’m sorry…” taking a seat on the edge of the bed, Kai glanced over Rei’s bruised body, noting that he hadn’t moved. “This is all my fault…if I’d have opened up to you a little more then… _gods_ ,” Rei looked up at Kai, catching him wincing in anger. “I’m so fucked up! If I’d have been here Hiro would have never got the chance to-”

“-Kai its okay! I’m okay, everything’s – well not fine but he didn’t do anything, and I don’t love Zeo, I love _you_ so what does it matter if the guy kissed me? I pushed him away so what’s the problem?” Kai turned his body completely to face him.

“The problem is whenever I get something in my life that’s…going right…the world tries to rip it away…Everything is so shit and then… _you_ were the only thing I had that was…and then that _bastard_ who I’ve been through so much with tries-”

“-Kai stop it!” The said boy practically jumped as Re leapt up, seizing his face in his hands.

 

 “I won’t _ever_ leave you, I promise! _Never_ – I don’t care if you hate me, or if Hiro tries to kill me or _whatever_ – I don’t even care if you never love me like you loved Wyatt, I can’t leave you! I’m too damn _selfish_ and scared to leave you! If I ever left you it’d be like the light got taken away, even though you’re a complete asshole to me most of the time I would _never_ leave you – Because I love you Kai!” Kai flinched as Rei pulled his hand back, slapping hard across his cheek, marking it with a violently crimson blemish. “And don’t you _ever_ run off like that again…” his raven-haired lover growled, “you scared the _hell_ out of me!” Kai’s fiery eyes avoided the other boy’s, glancing down at where their fingers intertwined with each other on the bed sheets, a heavy silence weighing over them for what seemed like a long time.

 

 “I’m so sorry…” the Russian boy muttered under his breath, squeezing Rei’s hand tight. “I’m just…I’m so lost Rei…this guy he – he ruined my life before – he made me want to _end_ my life. He screwed up everything and _everyone_ in it. He just…” Rei frowned, tears welling in his own eyes at the sight of them building in his lover’s, pressing his dark-haired-head against his shoulder, nuzzling comfortingly up into Kai’s chin.

“Kai…if you don’t tell me, how can I understand?” he asked softly, coercing him as he watched his fingers toy with the other’s hand, running slowly back and forth over his palm absently. “I can…I can understand that you’ll never be able to love anybody like Wyatt, but…we’ve been through so much together, if we can’t trust each other we don’t have _anything_.” He felt Kai sigh, his back resting against the Russian’s slowly rising and falling chest as he struggled for words.

 

 “When Hiro met Zeo,” he began quietly, wetting his suddenly dry lips nervously, “he seduced him so far, so _strong_ that Zeo was willing to do _anything_ for him. Zeo would come to us, in tears – he’d tell us all the… _disgusting_ things that Hiro made him do…Sick games of torture and pleasure, of ‘master and slave’ where the lines between pain and bliss are so obscure it’s hard to tell where one ends and another begins…Twisted things like – making Zeo say humiliating words, crude video recordings Hiro would post all over the internet, making Zeo believe it was all _his_ fault, making him do things that _no one_ in their right _mind_ would do… He’d make Zeo beg for it all to stop and then hurt him just a little bit more, to make sure Zeo got the point – he belonged to Hiro.” Rei, not able to see his lover’s face, could still hear the bitterness in his voice, and he could tell if he _could_ see him, his eyes would be glazed over with angry tears. The Chinese boy could feel the pure fury boiling up inside himself as well.

 

 “When Zeo was completely _‘broken in’_ as Hiro used to say, he began to think of new ways to hurt him… He’d pick fights with _us_ , stir things amongst our relationships with each other, set guys on us to beat us up or make us feel just plain guilty to be alive, and then he…he…” Rei sat up slightly, inclining his head to face his lover.

“Kai?”

“He…” Rei rested his hand on Kai’s shoulder reassuringly.

“Kai what’re you trying to-”

“-Hiro was the one who raped me alright!!! He waited until Tala was visiting Kevin so he wouldn’t be there to help me, and he and a load of his _friends_ were the ones who raped me! Then afterwards when I went ‘missing’ back to Russia, the others were looking for me and Hiro and his _wankers_ got Wyatt and beat the shit out of him after raping him the same way as me! The injuries Wyatt died from were inflicted my HIRO! HIRO KILLED WYATT BECAUSE OF ZEO! BUT HE WOULDN’T HAVE HAD THE CHANCE IF I HADN’T RUN AWAY LIKED A SCARED LITTLE CHILD!!! I WAS SO SCARED OF FACING HIM AFTER HIRO FUCKED ME INTO THE GROUND THAT I RAN AWAY – AND _WYATT_ WAS THE ONE WHO PAID FOR IT! HE PAID FOR MY LACK OF TRUST IN HIM WITH HIS LIFE!!!” Kai’s angry words seemed to echo in the suddenly _very_ quiet room.

 

 “Wasn’t…wasn’t Hiro arrested for what he did?” He heard Kai exhale heavily.

“No…not really…there was a court case…but after we tried to use his malicious treatment of Zeo as evidence against him, his lawyer turned it on us, saying that Hiro was just a confused youth – not right in the head and all that bullshit…” Kai growled startling the boy in his lap slightly.

“But surely even-”

“-No…we were all sixteen then, and he managed to get tried as a child…so they only gave him five years in some Juvenile hostel or something…” Rei pulled back slightly so he could see Kai’s face.

“But you’re eighteen now right? That means it’s only been two years, why is he here now?” Kai shrugged, his usually so passionate exterior that was so full of life now reeking of defeat.

“He must’ve got out…”

“But surely now the case can be re-opened and he can finally get what he deserves?” Rei suggested. Kai raised a brow.

“How’d you figure?”

“Wyatt’s dead…” Rei said as softly as he could, “this isn’t just abuse now…it’s murder…”

“No.”

“What do you mean _no_? You’re gonna let that asshole win?”

“Can’t you see it? He’s already won! Wyatt’s _dead_ , I’m a screwed up fuck, Zeo’s a complete demented prick…need I go on?”

“Kai, Wyatt wouldn’t want you to give up…don’t you think he’d want justice? Want that maniac behind bars where he belongs?”

“I won’t bring it up again…I won’t tarnish Wyatt’s name like that.”

“Wyatt would care more for you than-”

“-I said no Rei…alright?”

 

 Rei stopped at the commanding tone of Kai’s voice, reminding him harshly of the _‘old Kai’_ , the one that had once said such hurtful things, the one that had thrown a set of drawers at him! After the silence began to grow stagnant, the slate-haired boy leaned over the side table, reaching for something. “Turn over.” The Chinese boy flushed.

“-What?”

“Turn over, moron; I’m guessing this cream ain’t here for show?” Rei turned his head slightly, seeing the tub of salve he’d been _applying_ before Hiro and Zeo had arrived. “Show me your ass.” Rei rolled his eyes at that,

“Ever the romantic…” he joked, lying on his stomach on the bed, his hips raised slightly, a violent blush staining his cheeks. Kai cocked a brow.

“Stop flushing like a girl, you pervert…”

“ _Me_ pervert? This is entirely _your_ fa – Ah!” Rei let out a strangled sound somewhere between a sigh and a whimper as Kai scooped some of the cool salve onto his fingers, smoothing it over the bruised, sore flesh. After a further moment of silence, Rei heard Kai open and close his mouth soundlessly, before venturing towards speech.

“I was a little rough on you this time wasn’t I?” Rei didn’t answer. “I’m…I’m so sorry Rei-”

“-It’s alright.”

“No, it’s not. We’re lovers; I don’t have any right to hurt you like that.” Rei sighed.

“I was enjoying it at the time…it’s just afterwards that it kills…it’s not easy, loving you so much…” Kai smirked, wiping his hands as he set the tub of salve aside, resting back into the pillows.

 

 Eyes closed against the world, Kai let a small, tired smile tug at his lips as he felt Rei’s weight against his chest, arms snaking round his hips in a gentle embrace.

“Do you wanna do something tomorrow?” Rei looked up at him, noting his lover’s eyes were still closed, his voice growing ever distant as sleep slowly crept forwards.

“Like what?”

“Like, something together, just me and you…something that couples do.” Rei felt himself brightening in-spite of himself. “Do you want me to take you to see a movie or something?” Rei smiled, leaning up to kiss Kai’s chin gently.

“Even with what’s going on?” he asked carefully.

“I just…I want to be alone with you. I don’t think I can take large crowds at the moment. Do you want to?”

“Of course,” he answered immediately, their fingers entwining slowly.

 

*                 *                 *

 

Rei smiled around the straw in his mouth, sucking up a little more of his soda as Kai squeezed his hand softly. They’d managed to skive off training with Brooklyn, narrowly avoiding getting caught up with anything as they caught the bus earlier. And here they sat, watching some movie Rei couldn’t remember the name of. The name didn’t matter, the movie didn’t even really matter, the fact of it was, he was here with Kai, drinking his soda, sharing his popcorn, even enjoying his sarcastic remarks at the film.

 

 Kai leant over; brushing the dark hair hanging down by his love’s ear tenderly, hot breath steaming into the shell of his ear as he whispered, “Are you happy Rei?” Rei turned to him, brushing a chaste kiss over his lips, still holding his gaze as he drew slowly apart from him, fingers interlocking with his.

“Of course I am, dummy,” Kai smirked, brushing his free hand across Rei’s knee affectionately.

 

 “Did you like the movie?” the Russian boy asked Rei as they departed from the cinema, taking his lover’s hand as they walked on through the crowds, the snow quite abandoning the roads and pavements, though ice still visible on the ground. _Not good driving weather,_ Kai thought, as they headed towards the bus-shelter a few streets across.

“Not sure, I was too busy enjoying the company.” Kai rolled his eyes, giving the hand in his a tender squeeze.

“You and your romanticism.” Rei laughed.

“You’re the one who woke me up with flowers and breakfast in bed,” Kai stopped, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

“Merely doing my duty and romancing you,” he said in an exaggerated voice.

“Kai,” he laughed, feigning annoyance. “You just-” he was cut off as someone collided with the two of them, making the couple jump. “Oh gods I’m so sorry I-”

“-It’s alright-”

“-Zeo?” The said green-haired boy met Rei’s eyes.

“Rei? Kai? What’re you doing here?” Rei gestured to the cinema, feeling the tension between Kai and Zeo thicken as each seconds passed by into the cold winter air that threatened more snow.

 

 “I was…just…taking a walk…” Zeo muttered brokenly, once vibrant, vivacious eyes dulled by misery. “Listen, Kai, I-”

“-Zeo don’t.”

“-No, really Kai I…I’m…I’m so sorry, I just-”

“-Well, well, what do we have here?” the three friends turned to face the voice, a jolt of fear shooting down Rei’s spine, as Hiro strolled casually towards them. “Out for a threesome date are we? Or is ‘My little Zeo’ the third wheel.” Kai sneered, releasing Rei’s hand as he moved forwards, standing between Zeo and Hiro.

“Piss off! Leave Zeo out of this – he isn’t your lap-dog anymore. Go back to prison with those nice cell-mates that liked you so much?” Hiro smirked.

“Standing up for yourself Hiwatari? My how people change in the span of two years.” He looked around mockingly. “I don’t see your _‘knight in shining armour’_ Tala around, learned to speak without your puppet master have you?” Kai growled, leaping forwards, only to have Rei and Zeo seize his arms, holding him back.

 

 Hiro laughed hollowly, watching the pure fury burn in Kai’s eyes. “Get bent, Hiwatari, I know you wouldn’t have the gall to hit me.”

“ _Try_ me, SHIT WIPE!”

“Kai stop it! He isn’t worth it! Let’s just go!” Rei yelled to his lover, he and Zeo turning Kai and forcing him back towards the road-crossing. But Hiro followed.

“You’re turning your back on me, Zeo?” The boy flinched, but didn’t answer. The green-haired boy yelped as Hiro snatched his arm none-too-gently, yanking him backwards away from Kai and Rei’s reach. “Do you remember the times we shared Zeo,” he breathed hotly in his ear, tears pricking at Zeo’s eyes as he struggled to be free. Hiro sneered, leaning in to bite his ear, fingernails digging spitefully into pale flesh. “Do you remember how you said you’d never leave me? Do you remember _begging_ to be taken? Do you?”

“STOP IT!!!” Zeo cried out, wincing as the mouth on his ear drew blood.

“LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!” Rei darted forwards as Kai screamed at Hiro, swinging his arm to collide squarely with Hiro’s jaw, loosening his grip on Zeo enough for the boy to break free.

“Just STAY away from us!” Rei cried back to the advancing boy, his arms muddled with Zeo’s as they darted across the road to avoid the dangerous grip of an enraged Hiro.

 

 Headlights flashed swiftly, a distant sound of dozens of screams ringing in the air.

“NO REI!!!”  Rei and Zeo turned, the oncoming car swerving to avoid them, skidding on the icy road as it did so, smashing onto the opposite side of the road. Rei felt Zeo’s arm tugged from his grip as they leapt out of the way of the following car going the other way, the evening traffic screeching against the unhelpful ground as the drivers tried to stop and swerve. “REI NO!!!” Spinning to see the next car, they froze, it was too close. It was going to hit them.

 

 Another scream filled his ears as a body tore through the air, seizing him round the waist, the two of them hurtling across the street, skidding across the icy ground. Rei looked up seconds before hitting the ground, Kai’s arms, Kai’s warmth holding him close. But the hazy, disorientating comfort ripped away as the iced gravel tore into his skin, golden eyes widening in disbelieving horror, as he heard the shrieking of a car horn in his ears, the vehicle veering out of control, bumper ploughing into Zeo’s body, sending him flying into the windscreen of the car. Thrown from the front of the car as in spun with the lack of grip, Zeo flew over the roof, crashing into the ground. Wide eyes bored into Rei’s from where he lay, Zeo’s blood pooling around his form, the green-haired boy’s suddenly pale lips mouth moving soundlessly, uncontrollably. _Kai, Kai!_ Rei tried to force out, his mouth not co-operating with his brain. _Kai I...I'm scared! It hurts! Kai I..._ Rei’s world twisted, the distant crying of sirens in his dull ears, and the world faded into black…

 

TBC


	26. Enduring Fatality

 

_Enduring Fatality_

_~Twenty Six~_

 

 Kai screamed as he felt Rei go limp in his embrace, Zeo lying just across from them on the ground, the crimson flood of his own blood pooling around his agonised form. Zeo was conscious, he was _feeling_ this, his lips moving soundlessly, as if trying to cry out in pain, whisper out for help, he was suffering through that slow, unbearable agony. Kai winced. His friend – his friend was bleeding to death, paralysed with anguish, what could he do? It was killing him, the gashes across his side, back, and even his head from where the gravel had torn into his flesh like red-hot knives at the full force of their collision with the ground, they were throbbing and searing with the sheer torture of existence. He couldn’t even raise his head, but he could see blood staining the raven-hair spilled over him, without time to turn himself so he took the force of the collision Rei had taken the brunt of the fall. No one deserved to suffer like that, if Zeo were dead, it would’ve been a blessing compared to enduring this, his limbs twisted slightly, fractured if not broken. Zeo was dying, just agonisingly slow…

 

 He couldn’t bear it, he had to move! He had to _do_ something. The world was going hazy, spinning slightly, the dull sounds in his ears of sirens, and the painful flashing of oddly comforting lights. The ambulance? It had to be, he winced again, trying to move, if only slightly, his body screaming in protest. The obscure, indistinguishable shapes darted towards them from the ambulance, watching them stoop to Zeo’s side, the green-haired boy’s body twisted, convulsing with sickening swarms of blood. He shut his eyes to the sight, pressing himself into Rei’s immobile form, searching for some form of comfort…only…Rei’s body was cold.

 

 Suddenly, he was ripped from his panic as warm, deceivingly comforting hands tried to prise his own from around Rei. His eyes shot open at the feeling, squeezing tighter. His rational mind gone to the darkness that was swiftly approaching him, all he could feel was whispering paranoid lies; they were trying to take Rei away? Zeo was swallowed in hazy, disfigured people, lifting him from his bloodied place on the icy ground; Rei was slowly being yanked from his grasp. And the pain. The pure, unbridled agony that swam through his veins like an all-consuming fire. This must be hell. Those conniving, creeping demons trying to prise the only thing he had left in his life, the only thing he…

 

 “No…” his weak voice sounded into the frozen air, the figures regarding him with strange concern, “you can’t…take him…he’s…all…I’ve got…I promised…I promised myself I would…protect him…”

“Sir?” A dull, barely apprehensible voice sounded in his slowly deafening ears. “Sir, you’ll have to let him go. If you don’t we can’t help him.” It seemed he was lying there forever, his grip eventually loosening against his will, as the same blackness that had been vastly approaching swallowed him whole, taking the pain with it…for the moment at least.

 

*                 *                 *

 

 “What do you MEAN you can’t tell me where they are? Jackass bitch! They’re my friends! Tell me where they-”

“-Sir, if you cannot calm down I am going to have to ask you to leave.” Tyson growled under his breath, ignoring Max trying to quieten him down.

“I’d like to see you TRY you stupid-”

“-Tyson! Max!” The two boys spun on their heel at the familiar voice, seeing Kevin and Brooklyn come charging towards them.

“Kev, Brooklyn,” Max panted, he and Tyson having ran the whole way there, “we got your message, what’s-”

“-It was an accident. Hiro he, he was there he…Rei tried to get him away but…the cars couldn’t stop quick enough…”

“And Kai?” asked Tyson, panicked, “What happened to him? Why did he get hit?” Brooklyn and Kevin passed each other awkward glances just then. Clearly there was something they weren’t telling. The hospital lobby busied itself with its casual goings-on, the telephone ringing, nurses and doctors darting in and out of doors. So many people running around, but what were they all supposed to be doing? Tyson wondered. Shouldn’t they be saving somebody or delivering a baby or something? Didn’t they care that three of his friends were probably _dying_ right now?!

 

 “Kai shoved Rei outta the way…” As Kevin answered, ripping Tyson from his thoughts. Max swallowed hard.

“Are they…Are they alright?” But before Brooklyn and Kevin could even answer Max’s question, Tyson butted in.

“Wait a sec, how did you guys get such a detailed account of all this?” Again, those awkward, concealing glances passed from the red-head to the green-haired boy. “What? What is it? Stop giving each other the sexy-come-to-bed eyes and tell us what the hell is-”

“-Tala told us…” Kevin muttered quietly, not meeting their eyes. Max arched a brow.

“But…Tala wasn’t with them, he was going out to get a-”

“-Tala was there…he…” Tyson moved over to the Chinese boy, his hand on his shoulder gently.

“Kev, what’re you-”

“-TALA WAS THE ONE WHO HIT THEM, ALRIGHT?!!!”  Tyson recoiled as Kevin swatted his hand away angrily, tears staining his cheeks. “TALA WAS IN THE CAR BEHIND AND HE COULDN’T SWERVE OUTTA THE WAY! HE **HIT** THEM! HE MIGHT’VE **KILLED** THEM!!!”

“Kevin, stop it.” The three boys silenced suddenly at Brooklyn’s hollow voice, the distant ringing of the hospital’s noises humming in the background, seeming so very far away from where they stood, in the midst of an abyss of misery, the slowly approaching darkness tearing at them, making them want to scream out their pain so that everyone would know.

 

 Kai, Rei, Zeo…they were… _no_ …they couldn’t think that. They were _going_ to _live_. Watery eyes rose respectfully to the oldest of their little group, those emerald eyes weighing heavy with severity. If anyone, Brooklyn had the most to lose, the person he loved, and the boy he’d raised, not to mention the one that had forced his way into the hearts of all of them, reaching a place where he seemed to strive to understand and make things better. They were all hurting with the potential loss, but who could be hurting more out of all of them, than Brooklyn, the one who felt responsible for all of them? Perhaps Tala, who felt responsible for their friends’ suffering…

 

*                 *                 *

 

 Kai screamed, his body contorting in agony, feeling the sheets stick to his bloodied wounds, nurses holding him down as the doctor assessed the damage done. He didn’t hear what he said – he didn’t _care_! Turning his head slightly in the bed beside him Rei’s battered form lay, unmoving, the long, blank, horrifying tone of the heart monitor sounding in Kai’s ears – deafening him. “Stand clear,” the doctor beside Rei said, the small crowd of nurses moving aside as the man held in his hands the only hope for Rei’s survival. That long, dull sound of the monitor still rang in Kai’s ears as he watched, mindless of the pain he felt coursing through him. Rei had to live – he couldn’t be dead – he didn’t accept that! “Clear!” A jolt burst through Rei’s body as the metal pressed against his chest, causing his back to arch momentarily off the bed. The monitor remained unchanged. Kai winced, his muscles bunching up, trying to rise from the bed, he needed to go to Rei, he needed to talk to him – to scream at him – he needed to _beg_  him not to leave him alone if that’s what it took. Rei _couldn’t_ die.

 

“Please, Sir, stay still-”

 

“-Step up the voltage.”

 

“-Sir please – Nurse, get me a sedative!”

“Sir we can’t, he might have a concussion from the fall.”

“Damn it, well restrain him!”

 

“Clear!”

 

“Nothing.”

 

“Right, _again_.”

 

“Sir please don’t get up – hold him down.”

 

“Clear!” Rei body jolted again.

 

“Nurse! This boy’s alive! He’s having trouble breathing, he needs a respirator!” Kai turned his head to the bed on the opposite side of him, Zeo’s disfigured body lying in a bloodied state as the respiratory mask was placed over his mouth and nose. “Right, now we need to seal these wounds. His knee on his right leg is broken, as is his left arm – the left leg is fractured just above the ankle and his shoulder has dislocated. Nurse, the other wounds need to be dressed.”

 

“Okay, step up the voltage; we’ll try this once more.” Kai turned his head to Rei again, the ascending noise of the resuscitator sounded as the doctor charged the potentially life-saving objects in his hands, pressing them to Rei’s exposed chest. His spine arched again.

“P-Please Rei – Please don’t leave me…”

“I’m calling it-”

“No, let’s try once more.” The nurse argued. The doctor nodded repeating the procedure, causing Rei’s lifeless body to arch once again. That continuous beep resounded in his ears. BEEEEEEEEEEEP…BEEP, BEEP, BEEP… Kai’s eyes widened. His gaze jolted to the heart monitor. Rei’s heart was beating!

 

*                 *                 *

 

 “Tala?” The auburn-haired-boy didn’t raise his gaze to Kevin as the boy and the rest of their odd little family emerged in the waiting room, moving over to his side. “Tala, please, it _wasn’t_ your fault-”

“-How is it not my fault?!” he spat back, leaping to his feet, his dark eyes stained with guilty tears. “I was driving the car that hit Zeo! If I’d stopped Zeo wouldn’t have been hit and Kai and Rei wouldn’t have made a head-on collision with the concrete!”

“That’s enough.” Once again, Brooklyn silenced them. “It doesn’t matter whose fault it was. Regardless of what happened, Kai, Rei and Zeo are suffering in there, so how about showing them so hope, some respect, some _prayer_ instead of wallowing in self pity and yelling our heads off!” Kevin swallowed nervously, he’d never heard Brooklyn shout before…it was scary, to see just how the _adult_ even seemed to be losing himself in the face of the oncoming despair.

 

 “Mr Knight?” Brooklyn turned to face the little nurse that had spoken to him, biting his lip in apprehension, silently _praying_ she wasn’t about to deliver him any bad news…

“Yes?”

“You can go and see Mr Hiwatari now, Sir. He’s awake…” The younger boys let out a deep breath simultaneously, relieved Kai was okay, but Brooklyn’s frown remained in place.

“Rei Kon and Zeo Zagart? They’re not…they’re not out yet?” The nurse shook her head.

“No Sir, they’re still in the emergency room.”

 

*                 *                 *

 

 Kai winced, staring blankly at the bland ceiling, the minutes ticking by like hours. According to the staff, he’d only taken a few bruises and a smack on the head from the fall, the only real reason he was still here because they suspected a potential concussion. The beds either side of him were empty. Zeo and Rei were still back in the emergency room. That sound, that shrill, heart stopping screech of the heart monitor as he heard Rei’s heart beat, it felt like the breath was back in his lungs again, but he still might not pull through… _Zeo_ still might not pull through…What was happening? When had his life started to go so…so horribly _wrong_?

 

 _“I won’t ever leave you, I promise!_ Never _– I don’t care if you hate me, or if Hiro tries to kill me or_ whatever _…”_ Rei’s words echoed in his mind. It hurt. It burnt and froze him at the same time. He could remember his face, his voice, his _lips_ as he’d said that to him, everything down to the warmth of his skin, the feel of his hair, it was all so very vivid in his mind. He could _taste_ his breath, even on the sterilised hospital air. It felt like his moments with Rei were flashing before his eyes. Had he lost him? All the things he’d never get to unsay – all the things he had _yet_ to say... Would he ever get the chance to say them?

 

 _“I don’t even care if you never love me like you loved Wyatt, I can’t leave you! I’m too damn selfish and scared to leave you!"_ But was that his fault? Rei had never blamed him, or resented Wyatt, but…he could see the bitterness brewing in his love’s eyes when Wyatt was mentioned, because he knew, he _knew_ Wyatt was still in his heart. He didn’t want Rei to become bitter because of him. This was entirely his fault… Rei had been living in Wyatt’s shadow all this time, and now he could _die_ in his shadow… Kai growled under his breath, he’d been so young, so stupid so _selfish_ to start this up with Rei before he was over Wyatt, he was so wrapped up in getting happiness for himself he never stopped to think what would have happened to Rei, he just stormed into the throes of passion blindly, disregarding all consequences…

 

 A light knock on the open door drew Kai from his thoughtfulness. Looking towards the door, the Russian boy’s expression remained blank as Brooklyn offered him a small smile from the doorway, a still moment falling between them. Suddenly Brooklyn darted forwards, wrapping his arms round Kai unyieldingly. “You stupid, _stupid_ kid…” he muttered against Kai’s neck. “You really got to stop scaring me, boy.” Kai gnawed his lip slightly, returning the embrace.

“I know…I’m sorry Brook…really I-”

“-‘Cause I love you Kai, you know that don’t you?” the man pulled back slightly, green eyes stained with tears, brushing the backs of his fingers lightly over the rebellious hair in the Russian boy’s eyes, making sure not to press against the bruised flesh under the blood-stained bandage on the side of his head. “I love you, like a father loves a son, you’re my whole life! I…I want to see you try, I want to see you get through college, see you graduate, see you smile…I want to see you take the figure-skating national championships by storm and thrash the professionals at their own game…I want to see you _live_ , Kai…” Kai blinked back tears, avoiding the man’s eyes awkwardly.

“I…I couldn’t ask for…I loved my mother and father, I still do…but, you’re my parent too, you’ve taught me everything about _living_ , about the world – it doesn’t matter that you didn’t bring me into it! I want to be a better man, I want to be the kind of man _you_ are, the kind that saves me in every way someone can be saved. I want to be the kind of man you can be proud of…” Brooklyn smiled again, nodding.

 

 “Hey, Kai, listen I-”

“Kai you bastard!!!” Brooklyn stood aside as his words were drowned out, watched the enthusiastic boys swarm round Kai. “You son-of-a-bitch Hiwatari, stop being such an attention seeker!” Kai smirked at the green-haired-boy’s show of ‘affection’.

“Thanks Kevin, you little runt…” Kevin grinned in response as Max and Tyson stood beside him, feigning a smile to cover their solemn look. “Hey, guys don’t look at me like that…I’m okay, and the others will – hey, where’s Tala?” When no one answered, his crimson eyes darted to each of his friends, awaiting their speech. “Didn’t anybody tell him I was-”

“-I’m right here, Kai…” Sighting the auburn-haired boy leaning against the doorframe, gaze lowered to the linoleum floor. “I…I’m so sorry Kai…” Kai frowned.

“What? What’re you-”

“-The car that hit Zeo, the one you pushed Rei away from…I was driving it…” A deafening silence rang in their ears, the full weight of that statement slowly seeping into Kai’s mind as his eyes widened. “And if they die…it’s all down to me…” Still Kai was speechless. What was he supposed to say? The boy who’d been there since he could remember, the one who’d lost his father to the same explosion that stole _his_ parents from him, the one who’d looked after him, his best friend that was more of a brother to him…This same boy might’ve killed their best friend and his lover? What _words_ were there for that?

 

 “HIT ME!!!” Kai jumped, the boys surrounding his bed leaping back in shock as Tala threw himself onto his knees before him. “YELL AT ME! HIT ME! I DESERVE IT! I DESERVE IT ALL! JUST PLEASE _PLEASE_ …” The red-haired boy snatched Kai’s hands into his own, resting his forehead against them, “…please don’t forgive me… _hate_ me…just don’t forgive me…” The others avoided Kai’s eyes, the one who’d always been so strong through _everything_ , their leader, their protector; he was crumbling before their very eyes…

 

 “Tala?” The said boy raised his head, “It was an accident…the roads were completely iced over…there was no way you could’ve missed…no way you could change things…”

“K-Kai?”

“I’m not forgiving you, because there’s nothing to forgive.” Those dark, piercing eyes stared up at him, desperate for Kai to convict him. “Did you forgive me when your father pulled me from that car window and just dropped me in your hands? Did you forgive me when he went back to get my parents out, only die in the explosion in _my_ place? _I_ should’ve died alongside my parents in that explosion, but he did, did you forgive me for that?”

“Kai that’s not-”

“-No, and you didn’t blame me for it either. Because there are some things in life we can’t control, some things happen, and there’s nothing you can do to stop them – why?”

“Because I’m weak-”

“-Because they’re _meant_ to happen. _Everything_ that happens that’s beyond our control happens for a _reason_ , bad things have to happen for things to get better…it’s just taken me this long to realise that…”

 

 “Excuse me sirs,” all eyes in the room darted to the door as two nurses wheeled a stretcher into the room, “visiting hours aren’t until five, please leave,” Brooklyn threw Tyson a threatening look as the bluenette’s mouth opened to protest. If they made anymore noise in his hospital he was _sure_ they’d be thrown out.

“It’s okay boys, lets go,” he said, gesturing for them to leave the room as he cast a quick glance at the nurses hurrying round the bed, connecting the heart monitor and the tubes from the drip to the body that had just been wheeled into the room. “We’ll see you later, Kai.” Kai nodded slowly, not really wanting to be left alone right now. Strange, alone had never bothered him before, but right now, alone just felt so… _lonely_.

 

 “Will you be alright Mr Hiwatari?” Kai snapped from his thoughts as the nurse pressed him gently back into his pillow, “would you like something to drink? Or perhaps there’s something else you’d like?” He shook his head politely, watching the nurses retreat from the room. At the soft, dull beep of the machine, Kai turned his head, slowly moving his shaky legs to the edge of the bed, pausing a moment, not liking the way the room spun when he moved too quickly. Stumbling to his feet, Kai staggered over to the bed, dropping himself beside the unconscious form.

 

 Wincing at the look of all the tubes attached to the needles in the back of Rei’s hand, Kai brushed his fingers lightly over the Chinese boy’s hair, noting that that face he adored didn’t even contort in any reflex to pain as the back of his hand lightly skimmed over the dark bruising that adorned the once perfect face. Dark, purplish blemishes covered pretty much the whole of the left side of his face, most likely from where he’d landed, along with the vicious, broad gashes, the boy’s right arm held to his chest in a sling, obviously broken. A pale green hospital gown covered Rei’s form, the same as the one he was wearing, so any damage to the rest of his lover’s body went undiscovered. That wasn’t important now. Rei’s heart was beating – he was alive, _that_ was what mattered…but he wasn’t awake, and that mattered too, _more_ even… Kai knew this drill, he’d been through it all before, the longer Rei took to wake up, the less likely it would be that he _ever_ woke up…

 

 “Hey, Baby…” Kai muttered softly, his throat hurting, “I’ll be honest, you look like shit.” A small smile played at his lips, despite the tears swelling in his eyes. “All these machines and tubes plugged into you…you look like a medical pin-cushion…” It hurt, it _burned_ so bad. This was just like before, with Wyatt, speaking but not being spoken to, holding, _loving_ but not being held or loved back. Wyatt had lost two years of his life to an unwanted sleep, and if he hadn’t died that day not too long ago, he’d probably still be in this hospital, hooked up to the life-support system in an eternal unconsciousness.

 

 “I look like crap too though so…wake up, and tell me how shitty I look.” No answer. Rei didn’t even stir. Kai gnawed his lip, biting back tears. “Wake up? Please? _Please_ wake up?” Leaning forward, Kai pressed a kiss gently to Rei’s blemished lips, pulling back only a hairsbreadth. “I’ve spent all our time together, worried about hurting you, shutting you out, shutting _myself_ away because of Wyatt’s death, so much so that…I…I forgot that…I’m alive. And you’re alive. Wyatt’s dead. I loved him, and he’s dead – he’s never coming back, I…I realise that now…and…that’s why you have to wake up. I need to tell you, I need you to hear this. I need you to live…with me.” Kai squeezed Rei’s uninjured hand tenderly, brushing another kiss to those lips. “Please Kitten, you promised you’d never leave me remember? ‘It’d be like the light got taken away’, _Remember_? _Please_ , Kitten, I need you…give me another chance, to treasure you, to _love_ you… Because I love you, Rei…”

 

 Kai felt the tears stream down his cheeks, ghosting a final, fluttering kiss over Rei’s lips, pulling away only to look at his pale face, blemished with cuts and bruises, hoping against the odds he’d see those eyes open any moment.

“Who are you?” Kai’s eyes widened at the voice. Turning round as quickly as he could without getting nauseous, Kai frowned at the sight of the slender woman framed in the doorway. Her dark, mahogany eyes narrowed under thinly arced brows as she stepped into the room slowly, obsidian hair dropping down to her waist. “Well? Who are you? And what the hell are you doing with my son?”

 

 

 

TBC


	27. Embraced By Death’s Arms

_Embraced By Death’s Arms_

_~Twenty Seven~_

 

 Kai’s eyes widened in sheer horror, stumbling backwards off the bed and landing on the hard, cold tiled floor, wincing in agony as he did so. “Just what did you think you were _doing_ with him?” The woman repeated, advancing further into the room, her words to Kai dying in her throat as she gazed at the unconscious form on the bed, the dull thump of the heart monitor a constant miserable melody in the background, as she witnessed all the wires and tubes attached to her son. “R-Rei?” her voice stuttered quietly, as if waiting for him to answer back. “Oh my gods, what’s happened to you?” Kai’s brow furrowed as he watched her lean down slowly, stroking her son’s hand skittishly as if she’d burn him with her touch. “W-What…what happened?” she asked Kai, though not tearing her eyes from Rei.

 

 A long pause followed her question. Kai wet his lips apprehensively. He wasn’t in a habit of lying, but would the truth honestly be wise in this situation? If Rei wanted to tell his mother that he was…well _gay_ for lack of a better word, then that was up to him, he (Kai that is) in all reality had no business telling her. He’d have to…change things up a bit…

 

 “I…that is we were out on the streets and…we met a friend…A guy, he was causing trouble, starting hurting our friend and…Rei grabbed him, trying to get him away but…he and Zeo, they stepped out into the road…it was so icy, the cars had no way of stopping…” He wet his suddenly dry lips, creating emphasis on his words with the momentary silence, which lasted longer than it should have. Why was talking to her so hard? “I managed to knock Rei outta the way, but our friend, Zeo still got hit full on by the car…Me and Rei, we took a full-on collision into the hard, icy concrete, and…I couldn’t turn us so I landed first out of us so Rei he…he took the full brunt of the hit…we both got pretty messed up because of how hard we fell…and how far we skidded across the ice…” He punctuated the point by gazing down at his right arm, which was badly strewn with freezer-burns caused from the friction of his skin on the ice. It stung to look at. Far worse than fire-burns in his opinion (which thanks for his abusive grandfather he’d had the _privilege_ of experiencing). And it hurt like hell…

 

 “But he err…his head collided with the ground pretty hard so…that’s why he’s still in a coma.” Kai winced at that word. He _hated_ it. “He could wake up any time but…the longer he stays under, the less likely it is that he’ll ever…” he drew off, he couldn’t bring himself to say it. Rei _was_ going to wake up, and that was that. He wouldn’t accept it any other way. The woman still didn’t turn to look at him. Her thin eyebrows narrowed slightly in confusion, continuously opening her mouth and then closing it again soundlessly, as if she was preparing to speak once more.

 

 “I heard what you said…to Rei,” she finally managed out, although Kai suddenly found himself wishing she hadn’t spoken. “You…why were you kissing him?” she sounded upset, though he couldn’t be sure if that was because of _him_ or what had happened to Rei.

“I…I just…”

“You said something about a _‘Wyatt’_ and you…you called him _‘Kitten’_ , didn’t you?” Kai swallowed hard, nodding slowly. Why was his heart thumping so fast? After all the horrific things he’d faced in his life, where did this woman get the power to scare the living daylights out of him? “Does that… Then are you Kai?” His eyes widened so far then he was scared they might bug straight out of their sockets. She knew him? Did that mean Rei had told her? _Oh gods that makes me feel even **weirder** around her_ , he thought.

 

 “I…that is I…yeah…I’m Kai.” He scrambled to his feet nervously, feeling like an awkward idiot as he held out his hand to her. “Kai Hiwatari.” He wish he hadn’t made the gesture now, since she didn’t shake his hand, merely (finally) tore her eyes from Rei to look upon him, looking him up and down, from the hand he offered, and back to his face again.

“So you are Rei’s…Rei’s lover aren’t you?” He found himself only able to nod dumbly. What the hell was he supposed to say to that?! _‘Yes sweetheart your son’s a poof and I’m the one that shoves it up his ass every night?!’_

 

 “He’s been writing to me…ever since he came here…I suppose he…” she turned her gaze upon her son once more. “It’s down to the fact that he worries about me as opposed to _missing_ me. Boys…they don’t seem to get quite as homesick as girls…Rei, he never got homesick, not even when he was a little boy. His father, he’d take him all around the world watching ice-shows, and figure-skating, and taking part in small competitions…”

 

 Her voice seemed sad again, as she refrained from touching her son’s hand once more, but only just. Her own sitting next to his, ghosting a touch. “But when his father died, he got more distant, even though he stayed at home. He finished high school and middle-school in our home town to _‘take care of me’_ I think mostly, but he never…he never seemed so far away in his whole life…my little boy, he’d lost his spirit. He smiled, he laughed, but he was never happy, not really, I could _see_ that. There was…this big hole in his life – in _our_ lives, where his father used to be, and that hole just…it never got better. He got more and more timid, and withdrawn, I lost my son as well as my husband that day, so when…when a friend recommended the University you now both attend I thought…he would feel happy if he could leave, and start again – start fresh. But at the same time I was…I was so scared of what would happen to him out here, but I knew…if I didn’t let him go he’d just _die_ in misery – _hollow_.”

 

 Kai risked moving a little closer, looking at her briefly as his crimson gaze dropped to the unconscious Chinese boy once more. He was finally finding out what Rei’s life had been like, and he couldn’t have felt crappier about it. Rei was always so kind, so selfless and happy with him. This life…he never would have guessed it… He (Kai that is) had never had a family; not really, Brooklyn was the closest thing he had after he lost his parents. But Rei, he’d _had_ everything, and he’d been old enough to remember vividly what it was like to have it all ripped away in one blow. Rei didn’t deserve that. _No one_ deserved that.

 

 “And he comes here, and the letters, they’re full of emptiness, like before, people being cruel to him, his college work…but then low and behold, something I expected all along.” She paused, looking at him again. “ _’Dear Mom, I made some friends’_ he said. _‘They’re so kind to me, a little strange, but they’re all the better for it.’_ He told me. You, all of you, even your ‘Responsible adult’ you’re all homosexuals, aren’t you? He told me… I was so scared when he told me. I mean, he just blurted it out in the letter like there was nothing to be ashamed off. You hear things about those boys that go with other men and they get… _diseases,_ they get beaten up and even _killed_ sometimes because of the men they go with, and they just… I didn’t want that for my boy. I was furious with him when I’d get more letters. Talking about you and the others, like he was becoming part of some kind of… _gang_. And you…what worried me most was…you. And the depth of feeling, of _happiness_ he had in his writing about you. Detailed, like you were a book he was studying. I knew then…he loved you. I was angry, and horrified at the thought, that he’d let another man reduce him to that… And yet, my boy… he was never so happy in all his life, I could sense it. The hollow, lost words were filled with happiness like I’d never seen after his father died. Like something breathed the light back into him. _You_. I hated you. I’d ever met you but I _hated_ you.”

 

 Kai flinched slightly, he’d been expecting her blatant refusal, but still, hearing it like that was hard to take, especially after everything that had happened. “But I didn’t tell Rei, I couldn’t, not while he was so happy. But then he…I told him I’d be down here for a meeting with the CEO of our company’s branch here, and he asked if I’d like to see him, since it was just before Christmas. _‘Then you can meet Kai at last! You’ll love him Mom, I just **know** it,’ _that’s what he wrote; he said he was going to surprise you. But I didn’t want to see you, to see the person who was taking advantage of a sensitive boy like Rei.

 

 “Still, I wouldn’t let that stop me from seeing my son, so I flew in all the same, only when I call his phone to see where he is, a hospital personnel answers, and tells me my son has been in an accident, that he’s fatally wounded and I should come right away.” Her eyes bored into his, staring into the depths of his soul, as if trying to figure out his reaction to her words, before she continued. “The first thought that entered my mind… _that boy, what’s he got Rei into. It’s **his** fault I **know** it._ And then I get here, and overhear you, _see_ you, and I…I finally understood. I was so scared Rei would end up hurting again but you…I could tell. You love him, _just_ as much as he loves you. I knew I was wrong. You, you’d look after Rei, you’d protect him – you _have_ protected him. You’ve made him happy like I never thought I’d see him again…When I’m wrong I say I’m wrong, Kai Hiwatari.”

 

 The woman got to her feet, pressing her hand gently on Kai’s uninjured shoulder, squeezing it softly. “It was foolish and presumptuous of me to suspect what I did. Believe me when I say I’m not some _homophobic_ creep I…I was just worried about Rei, that’s all. You and he, being together, it makes me so happy. Because…you love each other. That’s a rare thing to see in people your age…true, eternal, devoted love, the kind worth dying for.”

 

 Kai felt his insides knot at her words. He was thankful to her, _truly_ he was, but he could still hear the distinct silence, disturbed only by that same sad song that symbolised Rei’s heartbeat. He just wanted Rei. He would get down on his knees and _beg_ God, The Devil – _whoever_ , it was he’d do it. Just a chance to say all the things he’d never said, _do_ all the things he hadn’t done. He wanted to see Rei _live_. _I’m such an idiot,_ he growled mentally, not even registering this woman pulling him into a hug, _‘you never know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone’, huh? Well I_ know _what I had –_ have _, and I want it back again…_

 

 “Kai?” the slate-haired boy and the woman drew apart, Kai turning to see Kevin framed in the doorway, the green-haired-boy’s blunt fingernails biting cautiously into the white-washed frame of the door. “Kai, sorry but…Zeo…he’s awake…for now…”

 

*                 *                 *

 

 Tyson gnawed his lip hard, his lover squeezing his knee, rousing him from his thoughts, gesturing to the waiting room doorway as Kai entered with Kevin, the green-haired boy sitting down between Tala and Max. The slate-haired boy glanced at each of them in turn.

“Brooklyn is in with Zeo,” Max asked Kai’s unanswered question, Kai offering the auburn-haired-boy a reassuring look, though it went unnoticed, Tala gripping his hair with his hands, resting his elbows on his knees, not looking up at those in the room, nor the rest of the world.

“Tala you…don’t you want to go in before me?” Kai asked quietly, “it must be killing you, waiting here. Don’t you want to speak to Zeo-”

“-He wants to speak to you,” Brooklyn cut across Kai’s words, entering the waiting room from Zeo’s doorway.

 

 “He’s stable now… _well_ , as stable as he’s gunna get…” The red-head paused at his _‘son’s’_ side, regarding him with glassy eyes. “A lot of bones are broken, and he’s got a punctured lung from his ribcage…his right leg might…might never work again – _if_ he lives…and his breathing is bad…the doctors…” Brooklyn blinked back tears, looking away briefly, before daring to meet Kai’s eyes once more. “The doctors don’t know how long he has left…but he…he can make sense of things, and he…he wants to see you…”

 

 An uneasy, shuddering breath left Kai’s lungs, as he looked up into Brooklyn’s eyes, silently begging the way a child might its parent, for him to make everything better. To make the horrors of his suddenly very dark world fall away. _‘Everything happens for a reason’, ‘God is love’, well **screw** that! _He screamed mentally, _there is **no** reason, no justification for this… **none**!_

 

 Kai moved forwards to the forebodingly beckoning doorway. Once within the room, Zeo didn’t even lift his head or open his eyes (if he could that is), the slate-haired boy just stood there dumbly, not knowing what to do.

“Close the door, Kai,” Zeo’s unusually raspy, broken voice whispered, Kai doing so slowly, shutting out the last shred of warmth – their friends from the room, leaving him feeling…quite cold and empty. “Won’t you come closer?” Those frightened, broken words, they cut into him like a razor edge, but nevertheless he complied, moving slowly, almost unwillingly towards his friend’s bedside, looking down at his friend’s pitiable form.

 

There was barely an inch, or ounce of flesh visible, his body was completely covered in bandages, limbs supported with splints, _numerous_ tubes and wires attached to his concealed flesh, only his face visible, dark stitches peering through his blood-stained hair, reaching up next to his right eyebrow, curving back into his hairline, respiratory mask lying nearby, evidently in case he needed it. Completely ignoring the small nurse sitting in the corner of the room, appearing not to be watching, nor listening, Kai knew different. Though he didn’t argue, he knew the score. She was there, ready to intercept the worst – Zeo obviously had insisted he have his mask off, even though he truly needed it, she was watching, readying to put it back on him when he…had said _goodbye_ to those he loved… _Unless Zeo has signed that thing to say he doesn’t wish to be kept on life support should the… **worst** befall him, _ his mind supplied, dropping to his friend’s side.

 

 “Zeo…you…what’s…” he was lost for words, but what _do_ you say to one of your best friend’s that has little or _no_ chance of survival.

“It’s alright Kai…I understand…I called you in because I wanted to… _apologise_ …” Kai frowned.

“Apologise? Zeo what the-”

“-Rei, is he…is he alright?” Kai was silent. “Truthfully.”

“No…” the slate-haired boy muttered, wetting his dry lips, not for the first nor the last time that evening. “He’s alive, but…”

“But?” Zeo prompted, his voice grating against his throat painfully.

“But he’s unconscious…he won’t wake up Zeo, and the longer he stays awake, the less likely he’ll… It’s the same…it’s always the same… _Every_ life that touches mine… My Mother, Father…Tala’s father, Wyatt, _Rei_ might never wake up again, you you’re…I’m a jinx…I _hate_ this…”

 

 The boy jumped as he felt a weak grip on his hand, looking down to see Zeo’s bruised, fingers touching his own comfortingly.

“Hey, _I’m_ the one that’s supposed to be-” his voice gave off for a moment, a grating, raspy sound rousing from his throat, before he managed speech, “-the one whose down…you, you bastard,” he smiled, “you still look good even with a black-eye and all that. You – always were… Kai listen.” Suddenly his voice had changed, his voice constantly dying in his throat, a little more desperate.

 

 “I know you think its all bullshit, but – _everything_ happens – for a reason. No matter how – horrible, or cruel the world seems – it – it can only get better. We have to endure the – harsh bitterness of – this world to get – to the light on the other side… And Kai, life, no matter what happens, it’s a gift, _trust_ me, it’s a gift, from your Parents, Wyatt, Tala’s Dad… _me_ …everyone you’ve ever loved and lost, they’re watching you, _helping_ you, though you might not see it-”

“-Zeo-”

“- _No_ , Kai please…you don’t have to believe, _nobody_ has to. But the bad things in life, they happen to make us think – make the _world_ come to appreciate the good things all that more – I – I _know_ that now… A healthy man goes out in the morning and gets sliced for his money on the streets, but later his vitals are used in a transplant for a little kid that needs them… His death was for a _reason_ …” Kai frowned, he wasn’t making sense, or maybe he was, and that was just the problem.

“Zeo please, you’re scaring me-”

“-Or some idiot like me dares to think he’s in love, only to let the man whose tortured him rape and kill his friends.” Kai’s eyes widened.

“Zeo, _no-_ ”

“- _Please,_ Kai I – I _loved_ Hiro, even after _everything_ he’s done to me, I _still_ love him somehow, I can’t help it. Love is – _blind_. Consider yourself lucky you found someone who _really_ cares about you – _both_ times.

 

 “It – it doesn’t matter what you – say. It _is_ my – fault for you and Wyatt. If I hadn’t fallen so easily, Hiro would’ve – never noticed you… And I’m sorry, Kai…” Kai leant down, tears streaming down his cheeks again, brushing a kiss to Zeo’s bruised forehead. “And Kai? I – I’m sorry for kissing Rei…”

“There’s nothing to forgive you for. You’re my friend, you always were and you always _will_ be.” Zeo managed a little smile.

“I was just – so jealous – of Rei…he’s so beautiful, and – innocent – like I used to – be…” Kai bit his lip resolutely.

“You still _are_ Zeo, what’s happened in the past is there, it can’t be undone, we just have to learn from it, and be _happy_ …” Zeo smirked as best he could…

“I know…and I…I _do_ love Brooklyn, Kai…he is the – kindest person – he loves me like I – never thought – _anyone_ would again… Look after him for me, will you?” 

 

 Kai watched as Zeo gestured as best he could to the blank envelope on the beside-table. “Brooklyn – wrote something for me… I said the words – he wrote it – it’s for – Rei…” Kai frowned. “He’ll live Kai, I promise you but – I just won’t – be here to say goodbye – to him…” Kai got to his feet, taking the letter off the side. “Live, alright? And take care of Rei, and the others…especially Brooklyn and Tala, they’re both so – hurt I – I won’t be able to make you guys smile anymore – will I?” A small silence sounded. “I promise I’ll send Rei back to you…I’ll get my – ass over to the other – side and – tell him to get – back home – because you need him…” His slate-haired friend smiled warmly, squeezing his hand as hard as he dared.

“Promise?” Zeo’s mouth twitched into a smile, nodding, before silently permitting Kai to leave.

 

 Kai moved towards the door slowly, stopping where he stood, unable to turn round again as he heard Zeo’s voice. “Hey – Kai I – I’ve got another – one.” Kai waited patiently for his next words, fingers clutching tightly to the unaddressed letter in his hands. “Wyatt…I loved him, he was the dearest, closest friend we all had, and he – loved you so – much…but if he lived…Rei wouldn’t have become the one you loved – and he – his life wouldn’t have – gained any meaning at all… You breathed the – life back into him, and he did the same for you – like you _never_ could have if Wyatt – were alive… One terrible thing leads way for something wonderful…remember _that_ one at least…” Kai drew in a shaky, unsteady breath, swallowing hard, battling back against the tears in his eyes that treacherously spilled down his cheeks.

“Thank you, Zeo…” he said softly, so the wounded boy on the bed only just heard, as he watched his friend disappear from the room.

 

 

 

TBC

 


	28. Open Your Eyes

 

_Open Your Eyes_

_~Twenty Eight~_

 

 Crimson eyes remained lowered to the ground, determinedly blinking back tears. The wing where Zeo situated practically directly next door to where Rei still lay unconscious, yet still, his misery laden feet made his steps feel all that heavier, and what _was_ less than a minute’s walk between rooms felt like an ascending hike in an overpowering snowstorm. _When did everything start to go so wrong?_ Kai wondered wretchedly, hands clenching into fists at his sides. _Zeo…he never got a real chance at life…not really… He deserved a shot at happiness, at turning himself around and live life to the fullest…_

Kai’s chest tightened painfully, stopping for a moment in Rei’s doorway, his fingers clinging tightly to the letter Zeo had asked him to give to Rei. _Zeo…seeing him like that…he’s always had this burning, fiery zest for life, and to watch him lying there… Gods, it hurt so bad… How…how is that **fair**?! He didn’t **do** anything! He didn’t deserve that!!! _

_“I know you think its all bullshit, but - everything happens - for a reason. No matter how - horrible, or cruel the world seems - it - it can only get better. We have to endure the - harsh bitterness of - this world to get - to the light on the other side… And Kai, life, no matter what happens, it’s a gift, trust me, it’s a gift, from your Parents, Wyatt, Tala’s Dad…me…everyone you’ve ever loved and lost…”_

 

 Kai’s eyes watered painfully at the recollection of those words… Was he right? Zeo…he’d always been so happy-go-lucky, so vivacious and carefree…to hear those worldly, wise words pass his lips, it was…frightening.

 

 “…But you…you’re going to be alright, aren’t you sweetie?” Kai’s brow furrowed at those words sounding from inside the room. That was Rei’s mother’s voice. “Y-You…you have so much to live for…I know, I’ve never - never really been the one you came to with problems, or the one that could say the right things… Your father, he was always the one in your heart, I understand that…but I…I still couldn’t _stand_ it if you didn’t come back. Please, _please_ Rei, you’re all I have, watching your father wither away under that illness…that was the _hardest_ thing _anyone_ can endure, but I did for you… No one should have to watch the ones they love die…so, _don’t_ make the people that care about you, the ones you’ll leave behind… Don’t make us mourn for you!”

 

 Swallowing uneasily, Kai raised a quivering hand to the open door, knocking uncomfortably, before stepping into the room. Rei’s mother’s head darted to the door, meshing her lips together, a shuddering gasp rasping in her throat as she defiantly blinked away her tears. “I-Is your friend…is he…?” Kai didn’t respond - he couldn’t find the words, or the _strength_ to force any kind of rational sound past his lips. Practically staggering, he fought back the potent desire to just crumble to his knees and scream out his inner agony. It hurt, it burned, it froze, it _bled_ \- he couldn’t explain it. Everything inside him was just…hurting, and hollow and… _wrong_ …

 

 The Russian boy caught his lower lip between his teeth purposefully. He wasn’t going to cry anymore. Tears…Rei had always hated seeing tears in his eyes, on his face, and Zeo, always so cheerful _despite_ everything…they wouldn’t want those tears. But he needed to. He needed to cry, to run - to _scream_ \- he needed someone to wrap their arms round him and tell him it would all be alright again. Well where was that person? Was it Zeo? His mourning adoptive father? Or his obsidian-haired lover that lay there, unmoving, not looking at him with those eyes he so _desperately_ wanted to see at that moment…

 

 “Rei?” he asked huskily, a coarse, grating whisper from crying so much. A lump rose in his throat, crushing his vocal cords, his voice was so small, and weak, like a dying breath. “Kitten, please… Rei, Baby, I need you…” Rei’s mother looked away from the scene, determined not to let Kai see her cry at his needy, desperate words… “I’ve been a bastard to you, I’m wrong, I suck, I’m…I’m _lost_ …” the last word came out a practical sob, as he clamped his eyes shut, grasping a pale, motionless hand within both of his own, holding it tightly against his forehead. “Please…you said you’d never leave me, right? So don’t - don’t leave me all alone like everyone else… I need you… Come back.” He didn’t look up, he knew Rei wouldn’t, _couldn’t_ respond, he could just hope Rei could hear him, and that Zeo would keep his promise…

 

 “Open your eyes, Kitten… Come back…” Rei’s mother dared to venture a glance at her unconscious son, refraining from sobbing out loud as she noted his lack of response, and Kai’s words - his _pleading_ …it tugged at her heart-strings… Her baby boy, he wasn’t going to wake up…

 

 “Open your eyes…for me… _please_ …” Kai’s tears shuddered down his cheeks, even as his eyes remained closed, clutching Rei’s comatose hand close to his face. “Open your eyes for me…” he pleaded, repeating his desperate request, his voice catching in his throat. And then they moved. Slender, pale fingers twitched in his grasp, squeezing his hand, gripping them like a life-line. Kai’s head snapped up, looking down to the boy on the bed. Kai returned the tight embrace of their hands, holding it, like pulling him from the dark quiet of Rei’s slumber; Kai watched his lover’s eyes hopefully, clutching that hand - like _his_ life-line. “Open your eyes for me, Kitten.” All his outward gruffness forgotten, Kai’s voice was luring, warm, like in the nights when they held each other, the rest of the world slipping through their fingers as skin caressed skin, fingers smoothed through the other’s hair - the nights when they were the only _everything_ to the other. The nights when they knew everything was going to be alright. If he could hold Rei, if Rei would hold him back, he knew everything _would_ be alright…

 

 Those words, they captured him. The familiar voice reaching for him through the darkness like two warm hands, ripping him up from the depths of nothing. Light, voices, warmth, pain…and something else, something he could feel as well as hear…was that what had gripped him? That had lead him like a candle in the dark? Back home… He sensed it. Fingers gripped it tightly, fearing it would let him go, that it would let him fall back again. He didn’t want to go back, he wanted this, he wanted _it_ … He wanted…

 

 “K-K-Kai…?” That warmth, it squeezed his hand all the more, those familiar fingers running smooth, comforting circles on the back on his hand, which now held itself up to that small embrace. “K-Ka…Kai…”

“Y-Yeah...Yeah, Kitten it’s me…” He wanted to answer, he wanted to smile. But everything hurt. His legs, his arms, his back…his head, that hurt more than anything. He couldn’t even find strength to open his eyes. It felt like something had cracked the side of his head open. Or had that actually happened? Weak lips twitched, attempting a smile, but it didn’t work. His head felt like it was fifty times normal size, like it’d swelled up like a pumpkin. Or had that happened to?

“I…I…feel…it’s really…hurting…” That warmth, it approached his aching face, a light, butterfly touch fluttering over his unblemished cheek.

 

 Kai’s breath caught in his chest, he couldn’t breathe. It felt so surreal, as if he drew breathe the illusion would shatter, and this would never have happened.

“I - I’ll go get a doctor,” Rei’s mother stuttered resolutely. Kai could only nod dumbly at Rei’s mother’s words, never tearing his eyes from Rei even as the woman dashed swiftly from the room.

“Kitten - Oh gods - Rei, I love you, you hear me? You bastard - you open your eyes, and look at me - you _damn-well_ listen to me - I _love_ you!” Rei winced slightly at that rising voice, it was angry? _No, upset, scared,_ his mind supplied hazily, and Rei’s fingers trapped within Kai’s struggled, tracing slowly over Kai’s mouth, silencing him.

“You shouldn’t…shout…I…like it better when…when you talk softly…” Kai smiled despite his tears, kissing those fingers.

“I’m sorry,” he apologised in a whisper, “is there anything I can…can’t I do anything for you…?” Rei’s tongue swept out over his dry lips, eyes still closed against the room.

“C-Can…I want…kiss me…” Kai’s teary smile widened as he leant down, kissing those fingers once more, scaling his love’s body gently, careful not to touch him, his lips pressing against that innocent mouth, his fingers risking a barely-there touch of that hair and face. Everything was going to be alright now, he _knew_ it.

 

 “ZEO!” Kai’s head spun towards the door, eyes widening at the gasping boy framed in the doorway. “Zeo,” Tala repeated breathlessly, “Kai, he’s going - the doctors, they’re trying to resuscitate him! Come quick!” Kai’s eyes darted to Rei, back to Tala. Zeo was gone, or going…he’d promised, and he’d done it… _“I promise I’ll send Rei back to you…I’ll get my - ass over to the other - side and - tell him to get - back home - because you need him_ …”He’d sent Rei back, he just knew it…

 

 Rei’s mother barging unthinkingly past Tala and through the doorway, a doctor hot on her heels is what wrenched Kai from his ponderings. Leaping to his feet, Kai pressed a swift, delicate kiss on Rei’s dry lips. “I’m coming back Kitten, I swear to you-”

“-Kai? Kai, where’re you-”

“-Listen Kitten, don’t go to sleep again, stay awake, count back from a hundred - _two-hundred_ slowly, and I’ll be back with you before you get to one, alright?” With that he half-heartedly released his lover’s hand, speeding from the room with Tala following after him. He didn’t want to leave Rei, not now, but he had to, Zeo could be…

 

*                 *                 *

 

 “Step up the voltage! Damn it, I’m not losing this one!” That hauntingly familiar sound of the machine recharging, ready to shock the life back into the green-haired-boy’s body…it made Brooklyn’s heart clinch, as if in preparation for the jolt of electricity to pass through _his_ body. “Clear!”

 

 “Brooklyn!” From beyond the doorway of the suddenly very crowded room, the red-head didn’t even respond at the rapidly approaching footsteps, or the frantic calling of his name uttering from Kai’s lips. “Brooklyn, Brooklyn is he-”

“-He’s been under two minutes or so, the doctors are trying to…” Kai’s crimson gaze locked on his _‘father’_ , watching usually vibrant eyes dull, unresponsive, afraid… He knew, Gods _no one_ knew what it was like to lose the one that they loved like he did…but Brooklyn, who’d only ever done good with his life, that had risked _everything_ to tear him away from his malicious, abusive grandfather, and give him the chance at life that every child should have… _Why do bad things always happen to good people?_

 

_“…the bad things in life, they happen to make us think - make the world come to appreciate the good things all that more - I - I know that now…”_

 

Zeo’s words, they haunted his mind. His very good friend, he’d always believed, he’d always _known_ things, things that he and the others hadn’t. He never cried before now because he knew those things, and because he clung to them, believed in them with all his soul. _He’d never cry, even when we were younger,_ thought Kai distantly, _because he always knew all that pain had happened for a reason, and something good would follow…_ That’s _what he believed…_

 “Brooklyn…are you-” the Russian boy cut off as the man’s eyes never tore themselves from Zeo’s lifeless body, watching him, barely blinking - _daring_ him to not draw another breath, _daring_ him to not live the life he loved so much…

 

 “Nothing.”

“Again,” the doctor’s voice ordered coolly, repeating the procedure. Zeo’s body arched upwards.

_“One terrible thing leads way for something wonderful…”_ Again, those words, that voice echoed in his mind. _No,_ Kai mentally growled, _we have to survive this -_ together _, there’s no other way we’re going to get through this…I refuse to accept that_ any _more of my friends will die!_

 That noise. That recurring and yet surprising sound. It throbbed in the ears of all five friends gathered in the doorway, pulsing with hope, as they dared to believe their ears. Zeo…he was alive…

 

 “Get that respirator mask on him!”

“Sir, he has a punctured lung, is it sealed?”

“Yes, but fragile we need-”

“-Get him something to keep him awake. He may still have a concussion-”

“-He’s stable.”

 

 The distant, but comforting hum of the doctor’s and nurse’s voices hummed in the background, all those lingering in the doorway could hear was that reassuring pulse of the heart monitor. Zeo was alive. Rei was alive. They were _all_ alive.

 

 _“One terrible thing leads way for something wonderful…”_ Kai had appreciated Rei more, he had finally realised…Wyatt was gone, he was never coming back. No matter how often or how long he looked to the door, he was never going to walk through it again - never going to throw him one of those smiles that lit him up on the inside when all was dark. Wyatt was dead, he knew that now, but Rei, he was alive. Had it really taken all this to realise what had been right in front of him all along? Did it really take all these horrible occurrences to get to where they all stood today? Zeo’s wise words still echoed in his ears dully, but… “Everything _that happens that’s beyond our control happens for a reason, bad things have to happen for things to get better…”_ Hadn’t those been his _own_ words? Had he only started to realise all this as a result of the horrors of the last few months?

 

 “Twelve, eleven, ten…” Kai and the others turned to face Tala with disbelieving confusion. _Talk about spoil the moment,_ thought Kai reproachfully of his friend, who was looking still a little sullen, but better than before, the guilt of killing friends now off his shoulders, though the burden of _hurting_ them still a fresh wound beneath his flesh.

“Tala what the-”

“-You promised you be back before two-hundred was out, right?” the auburn-haired boy muttered, a little of the old Tala’s playfulness trickling back into his voice, “…nine, eight…”

“Little shit,” Kai insulted jokingly, casting a swift glance back into Zeo’s room, the crowd of doctors and nurses swallowing up the boy’s prone form. “I’ll be back.” Brooklyn could only nod in response, still dazed in disbelief. Those same words rolling back and forth in his mind, smothering any rational thought… Zeo was alive. Zeo was alive…

 

*                 *                 *

 

 Rei gasped as what he guessed were the doctor’s finger pinched as they touched his wounded flesh. “Can you feel that?” _Fucking idiot, of **course** I can feel it! _He thought bitterly, _this wince isn’t any everyday look you know!_ A strong pulse of pain shot through his body again, his face contorting in pain.

“Geez, I…it hurts…my…my whole left side hurts…”

“Yes. You landed and skidded on the iced-over concrete. You have severe damage to your head and arm from where you landed, but it appears that once you landed, you and your… _friend_ rolled, and though you took the full-force of the collision, Mr Hiwatari took the brunt of the friction-burn from the icy road. So you only have mild wounds from _that_ at least… Your arm is badly injured from where you tried to brace yourself for the fall, but will heal quickly, it’s not broken, thank the heavens. However, I am afraid there may be some scarring on your head and face…”

 

 Rei mentally cringed at those words, but didn’t allow that to show, remaining outwardly impassive. In all honesty it didn’t bother him to have a few scars, but it would bother him to see Kai look at those potential disfigurements. Kai, he’d always said he was _beautiful, gorgeous_ , _perfect_ \- But what would happen if he suddenly _wasn’t_ anymore?

 

 “Apart from that, as I’ve said, what we really have to worry ourselves over is the injuries to your head - that being the reason you were unconscious after all. We won’t know the full extent of the damage until you begin to recover and move about a little. Your vision and hearing may be off-kilter a little, or a lot, along with your balance and…mental capabilities.” Rei snorted at that.

“Great, so you’re saying I might be crazy…”

“No, Mr Kon. You may forget things, or, even say things you wouldn’t normally say, and you may also feel more tired and incapable of doing things on your own.” The Chinese boy remained silent, he just wanted to sleep, though he knew he couldn’t, not for another twenty-four hours at least. _No_ , he thought, _I want Kai… He should’ve been back by now…_

 

 The boy felt his mother grasp his unwounded hand comfortingly, practically reading her son’s thoughts.

“He’ll be back soon, Rei,” the muttered softly, rousing a small nod from him, though he instantly regretting trying to force the movement.

“And one more thing,” the doctor’s voice continued, noting the agony Rei was in from such a small movement. “Don’t force _any_ kind of movement. Don’t even open your eyes or move your fingers if it doesn’t feel right. Wounds to your head are a delicate matter, there could be possible brain-damage, you have to take things slowly, force yourself now and things could get very, _very_ bad for you…understand?”

“Yeah,” Rei answered exhaustedly, so very tired, the drugs preventing him from sleeping, as well as repressing the pain.

“Don’t worry. I’m not letting that jackass even _sneeze_ on his own.” Rei almost felt his ears perk at the suddenly confident, soothing voice that uttered into his ears, _feeling_ Kai enter the room.

“Yes, well watch _yourself_ too, Mr Hiwatari, don’t forget your _own_ injuries.” Without even straining to open his eyes, Rei could _sense_ Kai rolling his eyes impatiently.

“Yeah, yeah. How could I forget? That bitch nurse had her first go at yanking the ice and dirt from the burns earlier…that disinfectant shit hurts like hell…” The Chinese boy felt himself smirking a little at Kai’s voice.

 

 “Indeed, well would you rather your new skin heal over all the crap that’s on the road and get infected?” Kai ignored the wisdom in those words, plopping himself down on his own bed that lay beside Rei’s. “In any case,” said the doctor finally, “I’ll leave you two to it, press the buzzer if you require anything. A nurse will be in a little later to change _both_ your bandages. Mrs Kon? Could you follow me for a moment please?” The woman begrudgingly released her boy’s hand in favour of following after the doctor, leaving Kai and Rei quite alone in the room once more.

 

 “Heh…I must look like a heap of crap,” Rei muttered, the slate-haired boy watching him from where he sat just across from him.

“As I said…you look like a black-and-blue, medical pin-cushion, but that’s pretty much all. Didn’t you…didn’t you hear that part?” A small, slither of a smile graced Rei’s blemished features.

“I’m…not really sure _what_ I heard…I could make out your voice, and I could feel you touching me… When we went down, I felt my blood, and I could see Zeo, I could feel you holding me, and I…I went black…” His tongue darted out to wet his dry lips once more, breathing slowly a few times before trying for speech again. “I…I heard you crying…and I heard you asking me to come back…I…I think I heard you say…you loved me…”

 

 Kai struggled to his feet, making his way over to Rei’s side once more, resting himself gently on the edge of Rei’s bed, grasping that hand within his own once more.

“You heard me right. And I’m sorry it took so long for me to say it, Rei…I love you…” There was that smile again, and it warmed his heart to see it.

“Kai…say it again…” A playful smirk reached the Russian boy’s features, leaning down next to Rei on the bed, not touching him for fear of hurting him.

“I love you…Gods, you have no idea how much I love you…”

“Just in case, perhaps you should tell me a few more times,” Rei coerced quietly, tilting his head slightly towards Kai’s warmth, though their bodies still not made no contact save for their hands.

 

 With his head resting a few scarce inches from Kai’s shoulder, the obsidian-haired boy sighed in contentment as he felt his lover’s warm breath steam over his face lightly, ruffling a few rogue strands of hair that trespassed over his forehead.

“Zeo,” Rei muttered suddenly, causing Kai to look down at his face, the boy beside him looking almost asleep. If he didn’t know any better, he would’ve sworn that he was. “Is Zeo alright? And the others, where are they?” His voice was calm, weak, but Kai could feel Rei’s body tensing, starting to panic.

“Shush,” he whispered softly, his free hand ghosting over Rei’s hair, just close enough so he could feel it, but not making contact with him. “They’re here. All of them, they’re waiting on Zeo at the moment.”

“And Zeo, he’s okay?”

“Yeah, he’s alright, he’s in a bad way, but he’s alive, and that’s what’s important.” Rei relaxed a little into the sheets at his words.

 

 “And you? Are you alright?” Again, Kai smirked.

“Peachy,” he replied, though he sensed Rei’s unease.

“Only…you pushed me out of the way of that car…you took the full burn from the friction on that road - for _me_ , you didn’t have to-”

“-You said it yourself right? We’re supposed to know things about each other that no one else knows, to look after each other - remember? Because we’re lovers.”

 

 Rei listened intently to the silent pause between them, awaiting Kai to continue. “I saw that car heading towards you, and I just…I didn’t think, I didn’t _care_ about _anything_ but getting you away from there… I told you, right? I’m never going to let you fall…” The last words came out a practical whisper, the gentle warmth seeping into his ears. “Sure, it hurts, but I’m used to pain. I’m fine, I promise Rei, I just…”

“What?” the Chinese boy asked, eyes still shut against the cruel, harsh lighting of the hospital room. Gods, he wanted those things off, he could _feel_ them against his sore eyelids, and simply longed for the dark. Not the dark that had swallowed him the moment his head had collided with the ground, the dark where he and Kai were together, and everything else didn’t matter at all…

 

 “I just…damn it; I wish I could hold you…” Rei smiled, not for the first nor last time that evening, tilting his head just a pinch to rest it up against Kai’s throat gently, ignoring the shot of agony that burst through his head as a result of the movement.

“My left side is the worst, isn’t it? You’re on my right side, just be gentle…” Kai leant in to brush his fingers over the boy’s face, scooting over, spanning the miniscule gap between them, ignoring the fresh pain in the arm he was leaning on momentarily. Shifting onto his back, Kai budged a little down the bed, so Rei could rest himself against him, embracing the boy lightly.

“Would I ever be anything else?” he asked rhetorically, brushing his lips against the boy’s neck, Rei’s unblemished cheek resting against his shoulder drowsily, desperate for sleep, even though it was denied him.

 

 “Rei?” Kai asked quietly, fingers running absently over his lover’s collarbone.

“Mmhm?”

“Won’t you open your eyes?”

“Why?”

“I…” the Russian boy blushed, just a little, “I just wanted to see them…it feels like so long since you’ve looked at me…”

“The lights hurt my eyes…”

“Oh? You don’t wanna see how crappy I look?” Rei smirked at that.

“Only for a second then,” Rei sighed, feeling Kai’s eyes on him as his eyelashes fluttered weakly.

 

 It felt like such a chore, to force them open, and when he managed it at last, his eyelashes flickered disobediently again several times, wincing in response to the dazzling white of the lights before they’d stay open. Everything was blurry, hazy, like a murky fog was clouding his vision. And it stung a little as well - or a lot, similar to the sensation of getting water in his eyes during a shower or bath. His heart thudded in his chest then, fingers knotting in Kai’s hold. The haziness, it wasn’t clearing. Kai, the room, the lights, they were just misty blurs of colour. He blinked hard, trying to clear it, nothing. He blinked twice, three times, he still couldn’t see.

 

 Wrenching his fingers in panic from Kai’s hand, pawing at his eyes determinedly, crying out a little from the pain he was causing himself to his fresh wounds, though not relenting.

“Rei? Rei what’s the matter? Rei? Rei stop it.” Rei cried out in anger and fear as Kai wrenched his hand away, tears spilling down his cheeks, though the blurs didn’t come into focus. He couldn’t see! “Rei? Rei what’s the matter?”

“I can’t…I can’t see!” Kai’s eyes widened a little, reaching down to tilt his lover’s head to look into his rapidly blinking, tear-stained orbs. They looked the same as ever, the familiar fiery gold they always were. But Rei was so upset, so scared, his sobs paining him to hear. “I can’t see anything! I CAN’T SEE ANYTHING!”

 

 

TBC

 


	29. Guilt-laden Breaths

 

_Guilt-laden Breaths_

_~Twenty Nine~_

 

 “It’s quite common, Mr Hiwatari.” Kai growled angrily.

“WELL NOT FOR REI IT’S NOT! WHY THE HELL CAN’T HE SEE ANYTHING?!” The doctor looked appalled, glaring sternly at the Russian boy that was clutching Rei’s hand tightly. It was obvious to anyone with _eyes_ what was going on between them.

“Well, I would’ve thought that would’ve been obvious, Mr Hiwatari. He’s blind.”

“Oh, fucking ha-ha, everyone’s a comedian – _why_ is he blind – you imbecile, or have you forgotten who the hell you’re talking to?”

“No indeed – Kai Hiwatari, heir to the Hiwatari estate and their millions-upon-millions of a fortune, am I correct? Perhaps _you_ have forgotten you’re speaking to the man who saved this boy’s _life_.”

 

 Kai swallowed hard, blinking back his angry tears, before meeting the doctor’s eyes once more.

“I apologise… I just…I just want him to be okay, that’s all.” The man smile sympathetically down at him, being yelled at wasn’t exactly a rare thing in his job.

 

 “I understand Mr Hiwatari, however, temporary blindness is a common side-effect to head trauma.” Kai felt Rei tense at his side, and his eyes widened slightly.

“ _’Temporary’_? As in, it won’t be permanent?” Kai asked hopefully, unknowingly squeezing Rei’s hand tighter.

“It’s possible,” the doctor answered simply, “his eyesight may return within a few days, weeks, months, maybe a year…maybe never. As I’ve said, we won’t be sure the amount of damage that has been done until he starts to get a little better.” At the desolate silence that struck the three in the room, the man sighed heavily. “I’m sorry I can’t offer any more comfort than that, truly I am…” The doctor departed the room, leaving the three alone in their grief, Kai and Mrs Kon offering each other hopeless looks, whilst Rei spiralled into the silent despair that awaited him in the blind dark, saying nothing at all for a very long while.

 

*                 *                 *

 

 “I’m sorry Mum, I really am…” Rei muttered almost inaudibly, fingers toying idly with the blankets. His mother smoothed her soft hand over his brow gently, smiling warmly at him, though he could not see the gesture.

“What for, Sweetie?”

“For ruining everything… This isn’t what was supposed to happen… You were supposed to come and meet Kai, and we were all supposed to have a good time…and a nice Christmas together… I’m so stupid…”

“No, Rei, you’re alive, that’s all I could hope for, this isn’t your fault, just get well again, that’s all I ask.”

 

 A smirk twitched at Rei’s lips. No, he knew his mother wouldn’t blame him. She was scared, worried, but not angry. In truth, he just needed to say those words, he needed to apologise, but not to her…to Kai.

 

 He’d worked so hard for this upcoming competition, they were so confident they’d win, they had it practiced to perfection, now this… The publicity was to be tremendous, if Kai was ever to reach his dreams, these were the stairs to take. But the stairs had crumbled beneath them. He’d ruined it for Kai. _How could I have been so – so **stupid**!? I didn’t look…I was so scared for Zeo, I just shot straight out into the road, I nearly killed us both! And Kai, like an idiot saved me… He saved me, and I pissed on his dream…What the hell have I done…?_

“Ummm, Excuse me, Mrs Kon?” the said woman turned from her wounded son’s face to glance upon the nurse standing in the doorway.

“Yes?”

“Visiting hours are over now, the patient needs his rest.”

“Oh, alright…” Rei turned towards his mother’s voice frantically, heart thudding in his chest. He didn’t want to be alone. If he couldn’t feel someone there, that claustrophobic darkness swam towards him once more, descending with foreboding coldness, threatening to toss him back into that eternal sleep. He didn’t want to go back there. He just felt so…so _vulnerable_ like this…he despised it.

 

 “Please, wait, just until Kai comes back? I…I don’t…” The obsidian-haired woman stared down at her son, and then to the nurse.

“Mr Hiwatari is on his way back, Mr Kon, I bumped into him in the corridor,” the bubbly blonde girl assured him, and Rei’s mother nodded to her, leaning down to kiss Rei gently.

“It’s alright, Sweetie, I’ll be back tomorrow, in the mean time, you get some rest. Promise?” Rei nodded weakly, his aching body begging for sleep as the pain-killers began to wear off, the agony throbbing through his veins, even as he lay there, motionless.

 

 “Gods, I say I died and this is hell…”

“Any way I can convince you otherwise, Kitten?” A small, relieved smile swept over his features as that voice sounded in his ears, feeling his lover drop slowly onto the side of his bed. “You know, I never realised how crappy hospital toilets were,” Kai muttered with false cheer, raising the smaller boy’s hand to his lips to kiss it.

“No pun intended I’m sure.” The slate-haired-boy smirked against Rei’s hand that was still held gently within his, allowing his sightless lover to feel his smile.

“There anything I can get y-”

“-No!” Rei answered quickly, a little too quickly. Realising his frantic voice, the Chinese boy cleared his throat awkwardly. “I mean…no…”

“Rei-”

“-Kai, I just…I don’t want to be alone right now…” Kai’s brow furrowed, watching his lover’s bruised face carefully. It was so bizarre, seeing him like this, like some horrible perpetual nightmare he prayed he’d wake up from but never managed to do so.

 

 “Kai?” He felt a small, reassuring squeeze of his hand in answer to the croaky whisper, and he swallowed hard, every move, every _breath_ was such a strain. “I’m sorry…I’ve screwed everything up for you…” Kai’s eyes widened.

“What?”

“The competition, we can’t do it now, I’ll never be healed in time by then, and besides which, even if by some amazing miracle I _did_ manage to, I wouldn’t be able to anyway because I can’t _see_ anything!”

 

 The silence cut into him, pounding against his weary body more painfully than _any_ of his wounds. “Your skating was your _world_ …and I’ve wrecked your only chance…”

“You’re wrong…” Rei tilted his head slightly towards those practically silent words. “It wasn’t my only chance, we’re young, they’ll be more, and besides…” he paused, pressing a swift, delicate kiss to his lips. “ _You_ are my world…” Rei smiled painfully at that, leaning up as far as he could to capture another kiss.

 

 Resting his head back into the sheets, the raven-haired-boy yawned widely. “You need sleep, Kitten,” Kai noted, taking a sip from the cup of water on the tray at his side.

“Yeah, but I can’t go to sleep, not yet anyway, besides,” he winced, shifting in his bed slightly, “I’d be happy if the _pain_ would just stop…”

“I’ll go grab a doctor, it should be time for our heavenly high dose of pain-killers anyway,” Rei smirked at the teasing tone in his lover’s voice as he got up, hearing the soft footsteps head towards the door.

“Yeah, get all the drugs we can _stand_ quick, before Tyson realises that they’re here.”

“You never know, could be the cheapest Christmas present ever for the guy,” Kai joked, departing the room in search of a nurse.

 

 Rei sighed heavily, looking forward to the next few moments, when the pain would dissipate. The soft padding of footsteps returned, and Rei smiled as best he could.

“Is the nurse coming? ‘Cause I’m really dying here, Kai. Seriously, I think my skull might’ve just cracked open like a coconut, and my arm hurts like a bitch…” Smooth caresses of Kai’s fingers smoothed over his uninjured arm, the raven-haired-boy sighing again as he felt the weight of Kai’s body press down on the side of the bed.

 

 “Where’s the nurse? I’d accuse her of sleeping with one of our lot, only they’re all gay.” Smiling slightly, Rei raised his hand, blindly searching for Kai, until his wandering hand was caught within Kai’s. “I want to feel your smile,” he muttered softly, using the hands holding his as a guide to reach the slate-haired-boy’s face. Brushing his fingers over his mouth, he flinched, tearing his hand away, crawling sharply up the bed. It wasn’t Kai.

 

 

TBC


	30. Coarse Caresses

 

_Coarse Caresses_

_~Thirty~_

 

 “Can I…” Brooklyn paused, tongue darting out to wet his dry lips anxiously. Did he really want to know the answer? As long as the naïve ignorance lasted, he could hope for the best. “Can I ask…is he going to…to be okay?” The dark-haired doctor regarded him with impassive eyes.

“He has a punctured lung, we’ve…had to _deal_ with it, he won’t be able to use it again, meaning he has to limit strenuous activities, no sports – _definitely_ no smoking.”

 

 The red-head looked at him hopefully, _praying_ that was the worst of it. “Aside for that…his legs – where the car hit him, are in bad condition, particularly the lower calf-muscles, the nerve-endings are damaged…” Still hopeful Brooklyn swallowed hard.

“Meaning…?”

“He may never have the power to walk again…although, that’d be completely up to him and his body’s healing abilities. He has a dislocated shoulder, which has been re-set, along with his left arm; these along with all other wounds should heal within time.”

 

 The full-force hit him then – like a bullet to his chest, it caused him to stumble back into the chair conveniently waiting behind him, catching him as he stared blankly, disbelievingly at the unforgiving blandness of the room.  Where had everything started to fall apart so badly?

 

*                 *                 *

 

 “Why so scarce Kitty-Kitty?” that coarse voice cooed, golden eyes widening, desperate to see, only able to make out the hazy blurs of light blue and black, recoiling into the wall, blind fingers fumbling for that cursed ‘emergency button’ that just _didn’t_ want to be found. Cruel, cold fingers ran dangerously over bruised thighs, causing the useless hospital gown to bunch up at slender hips. “You’ve been so brave Kitty; I’ll have to reward you…” The obsidian-haired-boy shuddered as that familiar tormenting voice caressed his ears.

 

 “H-Hiro?” Hot breath steamed onto his skin, Rei wincing in agony as a wet tongue darted harshly over the throbbing gash, drawing fresh blood from the seeping wound. “AH! Get off me! You bastard! It’s all your-” A hand clamped tight over his mouth, stifling his approaching scream.

“Can’t see me, can you Kitty-Cat?” He muttered against his wounded flesh, tears of agony weeping from golden eyes. “All the better for you…”

 

 A muffled scream vibrated against the palm of that callous hand, body twisting desperately to free himself, despite how much the movement throbbed with foreboding agony, as Hiro’s free hand stole up under the gown, running coarse caresses across trembling, hot skin. The unwilling body tightened in response to those unwanted thrills, the organ hardening reluctantly beneath malicious touches. _Please, Gods no…_

 

 “HEY!” Hiro turned swiftly towards the voice, not quick enough. A scream tore from his throat as hard, sharp metal slammed into the side of his head, sending him hurtling onto the cold, unforgiving floor. “Get the HELL away from him!” Kai growled lowly, breathing harsh and laboured from the force he’d thrown into that blow, his body still not recovered. From his place on the floor, Hiro wiped the blood from his mouth, grinning insanely up at his once-victim, and the metal medical tray still clasped in the slate-haired-boy’s wounded hand, crimson blood seeping from the re-opened wounds, running down to stain the metal.

“So strong all of a sudden, Hiwatari?” Kai sneered, tossing the ‘weapon’ aside carelessly.

 

 “You can’t do it, you can’t touch me anymore… I’m not the scared little punk you can manipulate at will. I’m not scared of you.” Hiro raised a disbelieving brow. “If you throw another hit at me I’ll hit back twice as hard, because obviously _that’s_ the only thing that puts pathetic, bullying weaklings like you in your place… And come after Rei again,” Kai paused, crimson eyes glaring down with menacingly tranquil fury, “and I’ll kill you, make no mistake of that.” The boy on the floor didn’t respond, save for gathering himself to his feet confidently.

“Would your beloved _Kitten_ be able to forgive you if you took a life?”

“I’d rather have him hate me than let you touch him again.”

“Such strong words…pity the threat is empty, I was beginning to think this would get interesting.”

“Oh it has.” Hiro and Kai turned swiftly towards the voice that sounded from the doorway. “So, you must be Hiro?” Kai frowned, a little unnerved by the ominous glint in his _father’s_ eyes, the red-head approaching slowly, his usually upbeat voice now shallow – _frightening_.

“Brooklyn-”

“-Stay out of this Kai,” Brooklyn shot at him, cutting off his words, before rounding on the dusty-blue haired boy before him.

 

 Rei’s heart caught in his chest. He couldn’t see what was going on, but he could see the distinct redness of Brooklyn’s hair, and the hazy shadows that were undoubtedly Kai, Brooklyn and Hiro. He felt so useless, so pathetic, and this new Brooklyn…it was a little alarming. That same arrogant snigger ushered past Hiro’s lips.

“So it’s the make-shift _Daddy’s_ turn, eh? What’re you gonna do? _Scold_ me?” Rei couldn’t see the look that had come across Brooklyn’s face, but he _knew_ what it was nevertheless. Pure, unadulterated fury.

“Actually…” SLAM! Rei flinched against the wall, watching the blur that was Kai fly backwards out of the way as Brooklyn threw himself at Hiro, the boy smacking into the hard, tiled-floor.

 

 “YOU’VE HURT THE PEOPLE I CARE ABOUT FOR THE **LAST** TIME, **BOY**!!!”   
”Brooklyn, stop it!” A clenched fist collided with the boy’s jaw with a sickening crack noise, bringing the blow down again and again, the red-head ignoring Rei’s protesting scream.

“WHAT YOU’VE DONE TO KAI, TO WYATT, REI – **ZEO** , IT’S UNFORGIVEABLE! I’LL SEE YOU **BURN** FOR YOUR SINS, EVEN IF I HAVE TO GO TO HELL **WITH** YOU!!!” Furious fingers seized the boy’s throat, nails biting perilously into flesh, crushing the life from his lungs.

 

 “I’ll KILL YOU!!!”

“NO! STOP IT!” Rei cried out at he leapt forwards, the IV tubes ripping painfully from his hand, stumbling in the hazy mist that overcome him, knocking him off balance at the too-sudden movement. Kai snatched him round the waist, crushing him as firmly as he dared to his chest, both catching him, and preventing him from interfering with Brooklyn’s assault. “KAI LET GO! HE’LL KILL-”

“-It’s better that he dies…” Kai growled quietly, dangerously calm.

“ _What_?”

“We can have him arrested, but…slugs like him find ways of slithering out of things…he cant escape death…”

“Do you want Brooklyn to go to prison for _that_ bastard?!” Rei stared blindly up at his lover, staring defiantly at him, even without seeing him, as his weak fingers curled into his shirt tightly, pleadingly. But Kai didn’t move.

 

 Brooklyn’s eyes burned with an all-consuming hatred. This _thing_ choking beneath his hands, struggling for breath, _he_ was the one that had torn Kai’s life to shreds, the one that had destroyed the one he loved. Hiro’s hands fought uselessly against Brooklyn’s arms, thumping on his shoulders hard, failing to get the man off of him. “You mess with people’s lives…strutting around like you’re God’s gift, when really…” Hiro stared up at him with hazy eyes, the red-head’s smooth tone caressing his ears. “…you’re not worth the _time_!” The last word came out a practical growl, punctuating the point by seizing the tray off the floor where Kai had dropped it, smacking across the side of his head.

 

 Kai’s arms stroked Rei’s hair absently, staring out from his silent storm of emotions, as Brooklyn shuddered to his feet, his body shaking visibly. “I…I’m sorry, Kai…” The slate-haired-boy frowned. “I couldn’t do it…I couldn’t kill him…not even for you or Zeo…I just…I can’t kill anyone…” Rei turned towards the man’s voice.

“You mean…he’s not dead?” Brooklyn shook his head slowly, before realising Rei couldn’t see the action.

“No, he’s not…just knocked out…I’ll err…” Brooklyn paused, glancing towards the door, where three hospital security staff and two nurses stood, staring at the scene; unsure of just _who_ was the victim and who was the attacker.

 

 Kai blinked a few times, only just registering them, before gesturing to the unconscious boy on the floor.

“He tried attacked Rei, he’s the cause of him and Zeo being here, you _have_ to arrest him!”

“It’s alright, Sir, Mr Zagart informed us of everything, Mr Hiwatari.” Kai froze at the security guard’s words, chills shooting over his spine. _When he said ‘everything’ did he mean…?_ He didn’t have time to ponder the question further, as the two nurses ushered him and Rei back to their beds, reattaching the IV to Rei’s hand, the security staff seizing the boy on the floor. “He’s going down to the station,” divulged one of the men to Kai, “you and your friends may have to give statements, perhaps even in court.” The slate-haired-boy worried his lower-lip between his teeth. Eventually, he forced a small nod. Wyatt’s suffering – his _death_ had gone without justice for long enough, as had _his_ affliction, and the anguish of his friends… Rei had been right. Wyatt would have wanted justice, no matter what that brought to him; he was just that kind of…selfless person. It was time Hiro began to _pay_ for what he’d done…

 

*                 *                 *

 

 “What’re you thinking about?” the boy in the bed sighed shakily, turning his eyes to the doting man at his bedside.

“Rei…” Brooklyn smiled, squeezing the green-haired-boy’s hands softly. “He’s okay? And Kai?” Brooklyn nodded again, his emerald eyes never tearing away from Zeo’s pale face. “Has his…eyesight returned?” Zeo persisted weakly, his voice grating against his throat, ragged breaths panting small, desperate breaths through his one working lung. He could just-about move his toes, though only with severe amounts of pain accompanying the movement, and even then, it hardly helped the immobile limbs that were his legs.

“No…”

“But it’s been _weeks_ now…!”

“I know…and their other injuries are healing well, just this side of abnormal, those guys have really strong constitutions…” Emitting a shuddering gasp, Zeo winced, turning his head towards the wall. Brooklyn started, even though this happened every now and then, it still terrified him.

 

 “I wish I could be in the same room as them… They visit but…” His older lover frowned, ghosting a touch over that lightly curved chin, so that the boy faced him once more. “It just gets so lonely…and dark here when visiting hours are over…and Hiro... Brooklyn, I _know_ him, we haven’t seen him since the _accident_ , he’ll be coming to gloat, and torment like the _devil_ he is…”

“Zeo?” The red-head asked quietly, not really sure where the boy was going with this.

 

 “I don’t know…whether it’s…the near-death revelation thing but…I don’t like being alone… Before, I didn’t like it, but I could deal with it, but now I…I’m…I’m _scared_ of it…” Gnawing his lip for a moment in apprehension, Brooklyn brushed a feather-light kiss over the green-haired-boy’s forehead, drawing back only to gaze devotedly.

“If it would help, I’m sure you could be moved into their room, there _is_ space after all, I would hate to have you sleeping here alone at Christmas.” At those words, Zeo’s face fell, rousing unease in his older lover.

“I’ll be here alone anyway…”

“Don’t say that, why will you-”

“-Because Kai and Rei are being discharged tomorrow…” The red-head frowned in bewilderment.

“But Rei still has a way to go, doesn’t he?” Zeo did his best attempt at a shrug, though with all the bruised and broken limbs, he didn’t quite achieve the full movement. Nevertheless, Brooklyn seemed to understand the meaning behind that pitiful motion.

 

 “Not really…alotta bruises, some scars perhaps…he and Kai are being released as Out-patients… Rei’s only real issue is the-”

“-Blindness, I know…” Brooklyn interjected, slightly distant. How had he missed all this? Had the stress of everything really distracted him so completely? Observing the frantic pensiveness to the red-head’s gaze, Zeo stretched his fingers strenuously, brushing lightly over the back of Brooklyn’s hand.

“Don’t look so miserable, it’s not like you…You’ve had a lot on your plate lately, and besides, how can you blame yourself for not noticing Kai and Rei’s rapid increase in health when you never leave _my_ room, eh?” A weak smile tugged at Brooklyn’s lips, and it unnerved him. That sad feigned happiness, Zeo knew what that meant…Brooklyn was hiding something…

 

 “What’s going on?” Brooklyn’s head snapped to gaze at him. Startled at the abrupt questioning, the red-head panicked. How could he tell him? Were there any _words_ to explain that Hiro had been here, assaulted Rei, was nearly murdered by none-other than _himself_ , and was currently in police custody – under arrest? For weeks that secret had loomed over their heads like an ominous cloud threatening a flooding storm should they tell Zeo what had happened. He hated lying, especially to Zeo, but he had to, Zeo was so weak before, the stress would’ve _killed_ him – he _knew_ it! _But then_ , Brooklyn’s mind interjected, _what’s your excuse for keeping things from him now?_ True, he supposed, there was no reason, save for Zeo’s peace-of-mind, and even then, if he didn’t tell him now, it would only upset him later on that he had been outright lied to.

 

 “Zeo, Baby, I…I have something to tell you…and it’s not anything you’re going to like…” Zeo raised a brow in apprehension, not at _all_ liking the tone to the red-head’s voice. “You remember when you first woke up, and the police asked what happened? You gave a statement…you thought you were…were _going_ , so you told them about Hiro – minus the more intimate parts to Kai and Wyatt?” Zeo nodded unsurely, not entirely liking where this was heading. Hiro was a topic that always made him uneasy, like the recollection of a particularly nasty, gory horror movie that made you cringe when you watched it – it caused goose-bumps to rise over his flesh…

“Well, you see, it’s about Hiro…”

 

 

TBC

 


	31. Helpless

 

_Helpless_

_~Thirty One~_

 

 Kai’s breath caught in his chest as he slid the key in the lock, his hand shaking as they opened the door. The Russian boy manoeuvred swiftly into the room, clearing a walk space for Rei, ensuring that the obsidian-haired-boy didn’t trip or hurt himself. Rei just stood in the doorway, a foreboding aura looming before him, daring him to enter. He couldn’t see what Kai was doing, but he knew anyway. He felt useless. _I can’t even walk into a damn room by myself anymore…_

 

 Suddenly, that panicked feeling rose up in him again, gripping his chest. The same trembling fear that shook him whenever Kai strayed from his side. At night, he was too scared even to close his eyes in case the person he woke up next to wasn’t Kai, and he wouldn’t know. He felt so helpless, so lost. He hated it.

 

 Kai’s hand skimmed against his cheeks gently, startling him from his miserable thoughtfulness. “Are you alright, Kitten?” Rei nodded shakily, his unease soothed by Kai’s oddly endearing tone. “Come on, let’s go inside Kit.” Rei nodded slowly, snatching his lover’s hand subtly, and allowing him to lead him inside.

 

 The sound of the door closing, and being locked sounded, noting the reassuring sound of the latch being slid across, as Kai assisted him to the sofa. He didn’t need the assistance for that small distance, not really, but it was comforting to have it nonetheless, Kai’s gentle hands guiding him back into the delicate softness of the pillows that the Russian boy had arranged so carefully. Rei smiled.

“Kai, it’s alright, I’m not an invalid, I just can’t see…I can move just fine, I don’t even get dizzy anymore, remember?” Kai brushed his lips over his lover’s hand, allowing the raven-haired-boy to feel his smile instead of seeing it.

“I’m taking care of you, is that so wrong?” Rei sighed, leaning back into the cushions.

“No…it’s nice…I just feel guilty about making you chase after me all the time…” Kai clucked his tongue impatiently, dusting kisses over the smaller boy’s forehead.

“I don’t mind…It means I get to spend more time with you…I mean, we’ve been together in hospital, but we haven’t had time to be alone together for a long time… It’ll be nice, don’t you think?” Rei frowned a little. Kai was being a little _too_ nice. Well, Kai had steadily grown more affectionate to him, but this was just… _way over the top_ , Rei’s mind finished.

 

 “Yeah… What do you wanna do?” Kai got up swiftly leaving Rei’s side. “Kai?”

“Well normally I’d suggest television,” the Russian boy’s voice sounded from behind him, the sound of him opening the fridge answering Rei’s unvoiced question as to what he was doing. “But er…” The slate-haired-boy seized the two cans of soda from the fridge, stooping to seize the large tube of ice-cream from the freezer, along with two spoons, and returning to Rei’s side.

 

 “So,” he continued, in an ‘at last’ sort of tone. “We are gunna get fat on ice-cream and listen to me read.” Rei smirked insight of everything. The light inside flaring with the sarcastically cheerful attitude of his lover’s voice. Conceding to the warmth that had sat itself beside him, Rei turned slowly, resting his head in his Kai’s lap, golden eyes staring blindly at the comforting colours of his lover, which were all that was visible. Dipping his spoon into the tub of vanilla-ice-cream, Rei sighed softly.

“So, what’re ya reading me?” Kai smirked at the thankfully slightly lightened sound of Rei’s words.

“Well,” the slate-haired boy answered, running his fingers in gentle caresses over Rei’s navel, before reaching up to brush raven-hair free from those eyes. “At first I was thinking a pervy romance novel-” Rei snorted, yes that sounded just like Kai… “-But that’d get me horny and I don’t think we’re up to that. _So_ , I settled on some odd, mushy assortments of lovey-dovey poetry.” Rei laughed a little, helping himself to another scoop of ice-cream.

“You’re gunna read me poetry?” The smaller boy blushed a little at that. “Really?”

“Yeah dummy, now shut up and listen,” Kai answered with playful gruffness, clearing his throat over-dramatically, before beginning.

 

 Blind eyes fluttered closed, his recently battered soul soothed by the soft doting roughness of that voice. It caressed his ears, his heart relishing in the sounds of those poetic, meaningful words passing those lips he adored so. With his eyes closed like this, it was almost like those times before all this had happened – where Kai and he had begun this complex relationship that had held more bumps along the road than they’d anticipated. _It’s all worth it,_ his mind supplied, as he listened to that voice, accompanied by the dull murmur of Kai’s gentle heartbeat. _Everything’s worth it, as long as Kai and I are together…_

 

*                 *                 *

 

 Rei opened his eyes drowsily, bolting from where he lay, and shooting to his feet. Every time he awoke, it was the same shock, the same _blind_ panic, until he’d come to his senses, and realise why he couldn’t see. At first he would be in a delirious haze, and fancy it all a mere nightmare, but then things would flow back to him, like paper tossed carelessly to the mercy of the wind, and he’d realise all over again…he was helpless…

 

 Calming a little, Rei noted that Kai hadn’t been beside him when he’d awoke – as a matter of fact, he couldn’t even recall falling _asleep_. _I must’ve fallen asleep when Kai was reading to me… Argh, now I feel guilty,_ he mentally berated himself. _Now where the heck **is** he?_

 

 “Kai?” he called, resting his hand on the wall to guide him to their bedroom. “Kai, are you here?” Noting the sounds of the tap running in the bath, Rei made his way towards the bathroom, pausing in the doorway. “Kai?”

“Yeah, I’m here, sorry I didn’t wake you, I just didn’t want to wake you.” Rei shrugged, moving forwards slightly.

“What’s the time?”

“8-ish, in the morning.” Rei’s eyes widened.

“I slept through until the morning?” Kai laughed softly, approaching his love slowly, pressing a gentle kiss to those lips.

“Sleep is never as good until it’s in your own home, besides, that hospital is noisy at night, I expect you were tired.” Rei nodded, listening intently to Kai’s movements as the slate-haired boy stopped the taps.

“I’m having a bath, would like to join me?” Rei was sceptical of the lack of perversion in that statement. “It’s got bubbles,” he added, as if that would be the swaying element.

 

 Admitting defeat, the raven-haired boy moved forwards shyly, slowly shedding his clothes, before gathering his hair into a bun and securing it with a clip so it wouldn’t get wet. Rei steadied himself on Kai’s shoulder as he stepped into the water, his skin tingling at the sensations of the water and bubbles slicking against it, as he sat down in the water, nervously anticipating Kai to get in beside him.

 

 The water rose slightly as Kai’s weight dropped slowly behind him, thighs nestling around him, and butterfly kisses dusting over the nape of his neck. Rei leant back into Kai’s chest, sighing in bliss as two arms came to wrap around him affectionately. _Is it odd, that I’m so happy when by all rights I should be miserable…?_ Kai’s arms lathering the shower-gel over his torso gently, smooth, gentle motions embracing him, more like making love to him (without entering him anyway) more than washing him. “Kai…” he sighed, relishing in the calming sensations. “Will it always be like this?” Kai breathed gently in his ear, capturing the lobe in his mouth.

“Always…I’m never letting you go, not ever…” Rei smirked.

“What about the performance? What’re we gunna do?” Kai brushed a damp hand against his cheek, kissing his head softly.

“We’ll figure something out; you don’t need to get so worried about everything… What will happen will happen, and no amount of worrying will help, all it does is hurt you…so calm down Kitten.”

“Yeah, I suppose…sometimes I just need someone to tell me everything’s gunna be okay…” Another rain of kisses showered his neck and shoulders, a long, secure silence falling between them.

 

 “Mum said she was gunna swing by lunch time,” Rei said, at last breaking the silence. Kai merely nodded, allowing the raven-haired-boy to feel the movement. _That’s not what I wanted to say;_ Rei thought distantly, _I’m just stalling…_ “Kai?”

“Hmm?”

“It’s only gunna get harder from here on out, isn’t it?” The slate-haired-boy brushed the tendrils of hair framing his face.

“Even if it does…we’ll get through it… Whatever life throws as us, nothing’s gunna stand in our way, I promise you…”

 

 

TBC


	32. Even If I Say…

 

_Even If I Say…_

_~Thirty Two~_

 Rei sighed as he moved the kettle back to its place on the counter, stirring the sugars into his tea. It’d been a few days since they’d returned home from the hospital, and even though being apart from Kai was more difficult than he’d like, aside from the uneasiness he’d learnt how to get around at least their dormitory without seeing it. Providing Kai didn’t leave stuff in the walkway, Rei could successfully…well _live_ without injuring himself, although it generally took him a lot longer to do things.

 

 Resting his piping-hot mug of tea on the counter for it to cool, Rei rested against the wall thoughtfully, running long, delicate fingers over the once-smooth skin of his face. It was still soft, that damnable texture that was so silky he sometimes doubted his _masculinity_ , although the softness was interrupted by random streaks of roughness – his scars. Scarce on his face though they were, he knew they adorned his body as well, and since he couldn’t see himself, he could only imagine what it was that Kai saw when he gazed at him, held him, told him that he loved him…

 

 Insecurity had always been an issue with him, and perhaps that was what had inadvertently lead to his lack of assertiveness and manliness, and most probably becoming attracted to men. It stemmed from a place where he began to believe himself different to everybody else, while his friends were out playing football he was skating. When they cut their hair and spiked it up his grew long and flowing. And while his _friends_ were off chasing after girls, using them for sex, Rei would be the one consoling them, listening to them. His life before he’d come here, it was so confused, so unsure, he didn’t really have anything back then, besides his parents, and his skating, and then life made it its bitter work to try and tear that away too. He came here, lost, looking for answers, but all he’d got were more questions.

 

  _I was always different_ , Rei thought absently, still tracing his scars blindly, _but it’s my fault I stayed this way…_ So the answer to his difference was he was gay? But Kai, Max, Tala, Zeo… _all_ of them, they weren’t like him, not really. They were his friends, friends like he’d never had before, and he loved them, but they weren’t like him. Zeo might’ve been the closest they ever got, but even then, he carried such a confident air, about his body, about himself (despite all that he’d suffered). Rei didn’t have confidence. And it’d killed him to go on the rink with Kai like that and have everyone’s eyes on him, but in that dress, that disguise, it wasn’t so bad. They weren’t judging him then, because he wasn’t… _himself_.

 

  _Well now I am,_ he thought wretchedly, _I’m myself – **whoever** that is…and I can’t see, I’m helpless…and hideous…and when Kai looks at me, all he must see is this disfigurement, a misfit who doesn’t belong **anywhere** …_

 

Rei jumped, leaping from his thoughts as he heard the key in the lock turn, listening intently to the sound of the door opening and closing softly. “Honey, I’m home,” Kai called rather light-heartedly, wiping his feet on the rug at the door and making his way over to Rei.

“What took you so long? You only went to the store…”

“Ah, yeah, but it’s the holiday season, Christmas is vastly approaching, Kitten. Everyone’s families are coming over no doubt; the lines are the size of the North Pacific in there.” Rei feigned a pout, covering his initial misery. He couldn’t let Kai see it, not after how hard the slate-haired-boy had tried to be kind to him these last few weeks. Hell, they hadn’t even _disagreed_ lately, which was _certainly_ out of the norm. There was always conflict between them, it was because they were such different people, but that normally only served to make their relationship all the more passionate.

 

 The Russian boy laughed softly at the pout, running placid kisses along the side of Rei’s exposed throat, grazing his teeth over the light scarring gently, appreciating the smoothness of the skin under his tongue, before drawing away. Rei shivered under those hot touches. Kai hadn’t touched him so intimately since before the accident, in fact they only ever kissed anymore, and even then, they were delicate, barely-there touches, that left Rei feeling loved, though incomplete. Kai hadn’t wanted to have sex, not really, and Rei knew _exactly_ why, even though the boy wouldn’t say…

 

 Hearing a rustling of bags, Rei sighed softly, as he listened to Kai putting the groceries away, the Chinese boy urging the desperate heat to disappear from his body. He barely had the energy to take care of _it_ himself when Kai would rouse him then just flutter away, and even then, he was still left with the empty hunger for something that before, he and Kai scarcely _didn’t_ do – if they’d done it anymore it’d do his health damage! And now he was just…

 

 “Are you alright, Rei?” Kai’s question roused him from his thoughts.

“Huh? Oh, I’m fine, really Kai I just…” He trailed off; leaving his lover none-the-wiser to what had put that desolate look on his face. Kai sought out Rei’s chin, frowning as the raven-haired-boy pulled away. “Just bored is all…and…well…” A growl rose from Rei’s throat, not able to find a way to put it into words. “I just get lonely when you go and…a little scared…” the last part was practically a whisper, as if he hadn’t wanted Kai to hear it. “And I…I just get thinking when I’m alone and…well my mind goes into overdrive – I can’t help worrying when I’ve got so damn much to worry _about_!” Kai was a little taken aback by the sudden shouting. He hadn’t heard Rei raise his voice since… The Russian boy shook the thought from his mind; he didn’t want to think about that time right now.

 

 “What’s come over you? I told you, you didn’t have to worry, didn’t-”

“-I _know_.” Rei retorted, all his bitterness boiling to the surface. “You scarcely let me forget, do you? This is what you wanted all along, right?” Kai scowled.

“Don’t be so fucking stupid Rei,” he practically growled.

“That’s right, _‘stupid’_.” Rei agreed sarcastically, tears brewing in unseeing golden orbs. “Stupid Rei, _Clever Kai’s_ bitch, right? You’ve wanted this all along, for me to be some helpless bint and need you right? To beg you to never leave me, you like it all don’t you?”

 

 Kai seized Rei’s shoulders. “Don’t be ridiculous! When did I ever say I wanted that?!”

“You hate it that you’re gay right?! You said so in the beginning, you were ashamed of it! That’s why you picked me, isn’t it?! Because I’m a fucking sissy-looking idiot – I’m a girly moron and it makes you feel better about yourself, THAT’S why you want me!”

“Stop it-”

“-This was like a godsend to you, right? Because now I can never leave your side?!”

“Rei please-”

“-Because I hate it!!! I hate that it’s so hard! I hate not seeing you every morning, and I hate that I can’t see how damn disgusting these scars have made me!!! I hate that every time you’re not in the room with me I’m scared the next time I think you’re touching me it won’t really be you! I hate it…I HATE IT!!!”

 

 “STOP IT!” Kai screamed back, shaking Rei roughly by his shoulders. “You stupid prick! I never said any of that! Damn it I love you, that’s what you’ve always wanted to hear, right? Well it was the truth, so stop being so…so STUPID and stop overreacting!” Rei shoved Kai away from him roughly, stumbling slightly, before steadying himself.

“ _’Overreacting’_?! My head made a collision with the concrete, I was put in a coma – I’m scarred, Hiro tried to rape me – _twice_ , and oh yeah, I’m BLIND! Don’t forget that, it just wouldn’t have the same PUNCH! I DON’T SEE IT AS OVERREACTING, DO YOU?!!!”

 

 “Kitten, please, just-”

“-No, stop it…” Rei sobbed, his shouts failing, giving way to tears. “I don’t want you to…to rationalise this… Stop telling me not to be sad, because you’ll take care of it, because there are some things you cant solve – if I’m sad I’ll cry, and if I’m in pain I’ll fucking scream, is that alright with you, Hiwatari?!” Kai sneered.

“You’re being damn stupid…” Rei felt his insides boil with undirected anger he’d been carrying inside him – everything that had happened in the last few weeks had built on the volcano of fury he was holding in, for Kai’s sake, for Zeo’s sake – and now it was going to erupt.

 

 The obsidian-haired-boy stalked towards the door, flinging it open, and charging out into the hallway. Kai’s eyes widened with horror. “Rei – no stop!”

Rei felt, and heard Kai’s footsteps sounding behind him in the hall, the door of their dorm slamming behind him as he followed, Rei darting into the apparently open lift, blind eyes fumbling for the _down_ button, slamming his finger against it. “REI DON’T BE FUCKING STUPID!!! YOU CAN’T SEE ANYTHING!!!” Rei pressed his back flat against the wall as he heard the door close, Kai’s voice falling dull on his ears, and eventually silent, as it left Kai on their floor.

 

 Kai felt his heart thud rampantly with blind panic in his chest, smashing his fists uselessly on the lift doors, before darting towards the stairs. He took the steps three and five at a time, leaping down to each landing swiftly, before crashing to is feet on the ground floor, speeding off towards the lifts. His breath came out rough, ragged with overexertion, fighting the inevitable collapse as he grounded to a halt at the currently closed lift doors, watching the numbers change impatiently. The light over the ground floor indicator came to life, and the door opened with a ping, the many people within piling out of the small box into the lobby. The slate-haired-boy’s eyes widened in horror. Rei wasn’t in the lift anymore.

 

*                 *                 *

 

 “Tala, sit down for heaven’s sake, you’ve been non-stop active since…well, you know, just sit down!” Tyson ordered, resting back into the couch.

“I’m just clearing up.” The bluenette opened an eye curiously.

“This isn’t your dorm! It’s mine and Zeo’s!” Tala paused his movements, meeting Tyson’s eyes.

“I’m just keeping an eye on you and the place until Zeo gets back, it must get lonely with Zeo not here, I mean…it’s different for me…my roomie dropped out in the first term, so I’m used to going home to an empty place, but you, you’ve always had Zeo here, must be hard…” Tyson frowned slightly, sitting up properly on the edge of the couch.

 

 “Tala-”

“-Don’t say it, Ty, really I just…” The red-head trailed off, sitting on what was Zeo’s bed, perfectly made, cold…

“Tala… Nobody blames you for what happened…Kai said it himself, there was no way you could’ve missed with that ice on the road, it was-”

“-Kai was wrong…” Tala murmured dejectedly, averting his eyes, full of self-loathing. “He can say that, repeat it over and over again like a broken record but when it comes down to it I _hit_ one of my best friends in the world with my car, and I nearly hit the other two… Rei is blind…Zeo can’t even move his damn toes, and Kai…the person I’ve treasured like a little brother…the one I promised my Dad I’d protect – the one I swore on my _blood_ I would protect with my life…he was in so much pain… _I_ did that to them, my friends...”

 

 “Tala…” The red-head looked up as Tyson knelt on the floor before his feet, hand touching his shoulder firmly in reassurance. “I’ve been on the sidelines for a long time. Rei, Max, Kevin, me, we’re not part of the unbreakable bond you, Zeo and Kai share-”

“-Ty, we don’t-”

“-I can see it. You guys, you have history, you’ve looked after each other since you were kids playing in the sand-box. You share a friendship so powerful me, Rei, Max and Kev can’t even touch it.”

“Tyson, we don’t hold each other above you guys, we-” Tyson seized his friend’s right wrist.

“Then what’s this?” he asked, gesturing to the mostly invisible iridescent thin scar across Tala’s palm. Tala gazed at it pensively for a moment, before clenching the hand into a fist. “That scar came from a time when you, Kai and Zeo were each other’s only friends – I wasn’t even there, but I know what you swore. Don’t you remember?”

 

 Tala shook his head in angry confusion, tears brewing in his eyes. Tyson growled angrily, spreading Tala’s palm, even as he resisted. “You cut your hand, all of you! Before Hiro, before Wyatt – before ANY of us! You mixed your blood and you swore you’d seize happiness, if not for yourselves for each other – and you’d face the horrors of the world as friends, and never let _anything_ conquer that! Do you remember, huh? DO YOU REMEMBER?!!!” Tala shoved Tyson away, screaming pointlessly in response, leaping to his feet. “Do you think Kai and Zeo would be happy to see you like this?! You made a mistake – GET OVER IT! Zeo, Rei, Kai, they’re alive – they’re not at best health but they’ll live, and they’ll be happy again, but not if you’re KILLING yourself over this…”

 

 The blue-haired-boy approached his friends slowly, embracing him skittishly, the awkward movement, strange to him. “Rei and Zeo…they both escaped death…I think that’s a pretty amazing miracle, one we should be celebrating – no? Let’s go out – all of us, we haven’t all been together like that for so long, what do you say?” Tala shook his head slowly, pulling back from the uncomfortable hug.

“No…wait until after Christmas…and Zeo can celebrate with us…then we can all really be together…” Tyson smirked, nodding in agreement.

“It’s a deal, and we’ll have to-” He cut off as a knock sounded on the door, turning towards it. “Damn neighbours…” he cursed, approaching the door slowly.

 

 “But seriously, do you know how many guys have come to ask about Zeo? Like EVERY guy he’s slept with – you could fill a damn _football_ pitch with ‘em.” Tala rolled his eyes.

“That’s not funny, Ty, particularly given the situation.” Tyson paused, his hand on the doorknob.

“Who said it was a joke? I was telling the truth? I know ‘Z’ had his reasons but damn, there were so many cocks there I just _don’t_ wanna think what his _butt_ looks like by now.” Another knock sounded on the door. “Alright, alright, geez, hold your-” Tyson cut off as he opened the door, gazing in disbelief at the person standing in the doorway. “Rei?”

 

 Rei avoided his friend’s eyes. “Tyson…I…is Max here? I need to…to talk…” Tyson shook his head, then realising Rei couldn’t see it.

“Nah, sorry, Max is back at Kev and his’ dorm. Not here right now, Tala is though.” Rei looked a little shocked by that. Obviously he hadn’t bargained for his presence.

“What’re you doing here Tala?” Rei asked softly, the previous sadness still lingering in his voice.

“I could ask you the same question,” Tala responded, watching their dishevelled Chinese friend with concern in his crimson eyes.

“I…Kai and I argued…” His head shot up then to face them. “I was so damn _stupid_ , I just let everything get on top of me – and the doctor said I might say things I wouldn’t normally say as a result of the trauma. And Kai he…he won’t touch me anymore – I just completely flipped out on him. But I…I just…” The two boys gazed at each other, and then their distressed friend, Tyson gently taking his arm, beckoning him into the room, before closing the door behind him.

 

 “I didn’t even really…” Rei paused as Tala shifted, assisting him into taking a seat beside him on the end of Zeo’s bed. “I don’t need to talk really…I know what’s wrong…I just wanted to ask if I could borrow something…to try and fix it but-”

“-Rei you shouldn’t be out here alone,” Tala cut him off gently, “I mean, sure, Hiro is in the slammer but those cronies of his, Aoki and Bryan are still at this college, and what with your lack of sight and everything…”

 

 Rei inhaled shakily. “I know…I just…Kai…he… Tala, if I ask you something, will you tell me the truth?” Tala looked taken aback, though of course, his raven-haired-friend couldn’t see that.

“Yeah.”

“What do I look like?”

“Eh?”

“My scars, where are they, and how badly can you see them?” Tyson and Tala shared a look. They knew what this was about now, and if they were truthful, they’d been expecting it for a while now.

“Rei, listen you-”

“-I need to know, Tala. I need to know what Kai can see when he looks at me – when he barely kisses me or touches me anymore. I need to-” His voice paused as the phone attached to the cord around his neck rang loudly. He’d taken to tying it round his neck ever since his sudden sightlessness had struck him – a comfort blanket that soothed him, to know he could call Kai if something happened.

 

 Rei ignored the sound, once again the two other boys sharing a look.

“Ain’t ya gonna answer that?” Tyson asked carefully. The obsidian-haired-boy shook his head.

“It’s only Kai.” Tala tilted his head a little, gazing at the little screen on front of the flip-phone.

“Okay, I give; how the heck did you know that without looking?” Rei smirked dully.

“When Kai rings it plays _‘Mr BrightSide’_ ,” he mused quietly, “and besides, I know he’s looking for me, what with the way I stormed out and all…”

“Shouldn’t you answer? He might be worried,” Tala suggested, again skittish, not sure of Rei’s reactions right now. Rei sighed, opening the phone, bringing it to his ear.

“Go poke yourself Hiwatari,” Rei said blankly, closing the phone once more, hanging up. Tala and Tyson looked stunned.

 

 “Err, Rei, listen I-”

“-So tell me…I need to know…and the truth, please?” Tala sighed, bringing his hands to Rei’s face, making him flinch at the initial shock of the touch.

“You have a scar here,” he muttered grudgingly, running his finger smoothly over Rei’s left eyebrow. “And here,” the red-head indicated in turn each scar, though each time insisting that most would more than likely disappear. Rei didn’t seem convinced.

“Listen I…Zeo offered to lend me something a while ago, back when me and Kai first started, and I was too…well embarrassed to accept but I…I was wondering if you’d find it, and drop it by the room a bit later?” Tala and Tyson both looked apprehensive of the request, but nodded in agreement nonetheless.

 

*                 *                 *

 

 Kai winced, fighting back frantic tears as he pressed his back hard against the wall. Seizing his phone once more, the slate-haired-boy redialled Rei’s number, holding the phone to his ear. He heard the phone answer, though Rei didn’t speak. “Rei?” No answer. “Kitten, please…” he muttered quietly, thankful he was alone in the hall right now, not liking how _pitiful_ he must look. “Please tell me where you are…” Again, the phone was silent on the other end. “Rei, you’re scaring me…please…”

 

 For a moment, silence still rang into his ears, and then he heard something…crying. “Rei?”

“I’m so messed up…” That voice, once so happy, it was now filled with such…such misery and tears, and it chilled his soul to hear. “I’m so sorry I hurt you…but I cant…I just…”

“Rei, please, tell me where you are…” That deafening silence came between them once more, until a small mutter barely whispered down the phone…

“I’m at Zeo and Tyson’s dorm…” Kai sighed in relief, as if the air had suddenly been breathed back into his lungs. Rei was alright.

“Will you wait there for me? Rei?” No answer. "Rei?” That dull hum cut across him. Rei had hung up.

 

 Darting into the now empty lift, Kai pressed the up button franticly – he couldn’t let Rei go running off on his own again, or else it might not be Tyson or Tala that found him this time…

 

 The lift doors opened, and Kai stepped out onto the floor of Tyson and Zeo’s dormitory, groaning as he felt the wind knocked out of him, something heavy smashing into him, knocking him to the floor in a tangled heap. “Geez,” he muttered, rubbing his backside, “that hurt.”

“I’m sorry, I-” The other boy cut off, as Kai cut across him.

“You’re so stupid…” Rei’s eyes widened in realisation of who it was, not getting a chance to blink before Kai crushed him against his chest in a tight embrace.

 

 “Don’t ever do that to me again…” Rei’s eyes closed against the world as he felt soothing fingers sift through his hair. “You scared me…”

“I’m sorry, Kai, I just…I want this to go back to the way they were before…”

“Rei-”

“-I just want everything back the way it was. I want Zeo to be okay, I want to _see_ you again…”

“Rei,” Kai repeated softly, his embrace tightening in attempt at alleviating the misery he heard in that voice. “We can’t ever have that time back again…that’s just part of growing up… We have to learn to treasure our memories and just live our lives to the fullest, and not waste our time constantly looking back, wishing we could have it all again…” Rei’s fingers clenched against his clothing, not finding himself able to form words. If he never opened his eyes again, he could almost pretend life was as it was, he could imagine none of these horrible things had happened.

 

 “Life is precious, Rei. And it might sound like crap, but you shouldn’t want to take _any_ of it back, not even the worst of times, because they’re all there for a reason…they’re part of your life – they make you who you are. Without even an asshole like Hiro, we might not all be together like we are today…” Rei registered his words, eyes snapping open in shock at the implications of that statement. The raven-haired-boy tilted his head upwards to meet Kai’s gaze.

“Then you…you don’t take any of it back? Not even losing Wyatt?” Kai was silent, merely offering the smaller boy a soft smile, before gathering himself to his feet.

 

 “Come on, Rei,” he said at last, “I have something I wanna show you.” The Chinese boy frowned, even as Kai assisted him to his feet.

“What?”

“I need you to come with me for a moment.” Rei felt a sudden rush of panic rise in his throat, a foreboding taste gathering there.

“But – you mean, as in outside?”

“Just follow me.”

“What? But where’re we _going_?” He had a bad feeling about this. Kai and the others had a knack for asking him somewhere _before_ telling him what where it was – and it rarely ended in a good place, emotionally or physically.

 

 

 

TBC


	33. …It’ll Be Alright

 

_…It’ll Be Alright_

_~Thirty Three~_

 Rei winced at Kai’s almost death-grip on his upper arm, dragging him onwards swiftly. He didn’t know where they were, but there were voices – _lots_ of voices, the condensed humidity in the air, weighing heavy in his lungs told him they were somewhere big, with mass amounts of people surrounding them. Music boomed into his ears from the distance, causing the floor underfoot to vibrate. He had no idea where they were…

“Kai?” he tried to ask, but the slate-haired-boy shushed him with a finger over his lips. They were inside, and it was hot, and crowded, and loud, that’s pretty much the only idea he had – but how many places were there like that is America? _A lot_ , his mind suggested.

 

 “Excuse me?” he heard Kai’s voice again from right next to him, noting he never relinquished his hold on his arm. But the words were not directed at him.

“Yes, Sir, how may I help you?” It was a young, polite female voice. Were they in a bar or something? He leant sideways slightly; there was definitely some form of bar there.

“Kai? Where’re-”

“-Two please.” _Two?_ Thought Rei, panicking slightly, _‘Two’ what?_

“Sizes?” Rei was so busy being confused about the conversation that he jumped at the sudden blast of music from nearby, eardrums throbbing painfully. He could hear the dull murmur of Kai's and the stranger’s voice, but couldn’t make out what they were saying over the din. _Where the **hell** are we?! _

 

 “Excellent Sir,” he just made out over the booming music. “Thank you very much, enjoy your afternoon.”

“Thanks, come on Rei,” the obsidian-haired-boy felt Kai yank his arm gently, pulling him towards the noise.

“Seriously Kai,” Rei almost growled, “tell me where we are, I think this counts as taking advantage of my _disability_.” His lover laughed quietly at his nearly scolding tone, steering him into (what Rei knew just by the quietness and the sterilised smell, was the bathroom. “You bring me out to some loud unmentionable place to diddle me in the guy’s toilet?” Kai scoffed at the notion.

“Please, I’m a little classier than that.”

“You screwed me in _our_ bathroom!” His voice echoed around the suddenly _very_ quiet tiled room. The raven-haired-boy swallowed nervously. “Er…Kai?” he asked, his voice very small, “there are people in here aren’t there?” Kai smirked. The question was answered not by him, but by the swift footsteps and the resonating sound of the door opening and closing behind them.

“Not anymore.”

“Damn homophobes…”

“In any case,” The Russian boy said in an _at last_ sort of tone, “put these on.” He felt Kai thrust a small bundle against his chest, frowning in bewilderment. What the hell was Kai up to?

 

 The inner misery he’d been drowning in for the last few weeks gave way to anxiety; he was scared of Kai when he was spontaneous like this. He was so reckless sometimes, then again, his unbridled passion for everything life threw at him was probably what he loved most about him. Every new day was a surprise with Kai, and though recently he’d been so lost to the horrors in his life, he’d forgot to stop and appreciate what he still had, as opposed to what he’d lost. He still had Kai, he still had his friends and a mother who loved him – he was _alive_. The sudden conclusion struck him then. People died all around the world every day, and he was alive. His heart clenched. How _dare_ he sit there, complaining about his life, when here he was, a lot better off than most people in this bitter-sweet world.

 

 Fumbling with the bundle of what he discovered to be clothing, and walking into the cubical that Kai held open for him, Rei frowned as he fiddled with the clothes, hearing Kai close the door between them. “Kai?” he called sceptically.

“Hmm?”

“This is a dress.”

“How perceptive of you, Kitten.” The Chinese boy scowled at that amused tone in his lover’s words.

“Why are you asking me to where a dress?”

“I have my reasons…” Grinding his teeth irately, Rei growled under his breath.

“Do you have your reasons for bringing me somewhere and not telling me where it is too? You _know_ I don’t like being out in public while I’m-”

“-Well as I see it Rei, if your sight doesn’t return, you’ll have to go out to get to your classes anyway, so suck it up and put on the damn dress.” The slate-haired-boy smirked at the mumbling obscenities and curse that passed his lover’s lips, leaning against the door of the cubical with his arms crossed over his chest, waiting patiently.

 

 “I can’t _believe_ you’re getting me to do this…are you at _least_ going to tell me where we are?” he asked, his voice low, heavy with nervousness – he didn’t like this. His insides were knotting with that familiar insecure uncertainty. But he’d come to understand that Kai wouldn’t put him through these things without reason, and that Kai, reckless though he was, was usually right – _usually_ … He’d just have to have a little faith in him.

 

 “You’ll find out in a moment,” Kai answered patiently, as Rei pulled on the loose-fitting sweater and skirt (not neglecting to wear the shorts Kai had put in the bundle underneath the skirt, which would protect his… _secret_ from view should his skirt rise up at any point). “You dressed?” The cubical door opened, and Rei could just _imagine_ that perverted look on his love’s face, “good, now put these on.”

“Geez, what _more_ do you want?” Rei mumbled, plonking himself unceremoniously on the ground, kicking his feet sulkily on the floor with the look of a petulant child, awaiting Kai to help him into what he _knew_ were shoes. _The full get-up,_ he thought, feeling his lover’s hand on his ankle, assisting him, _I know him so well_ …

 

 Then, he frowned. “These are heavy,” Rei said. Kai smirked, relishing in the look of the raven-haired-boy so flushed and childish.

“I should think so, they’re blades.” Rei’s eyes widened.

“What?”

“Blades, Rei, as in ‘Rollerblades’,” he answered, only serving to increase the smaller boy’s uneasiness.

“ _‘Rollerblades’_? So….we’re at some American version of ‘Rollerworld’ or something, right?” Kai nodded, not for the first time forgetting that Rei couldn’t see the gesture.

“Yeah, so get those on your feet so we can get out there.”

“Kai!”

“Don’t _‘Kai’_ me, this is the perfect opportunity.”

“Perfect opportunity for what?” he squeaked.

“You’ll see – I’ve laced ‘em up for you, get up.” Rei growled under his breath again, snatching Kai’s hand, the slate-haired-boy assisting him in stumbling to his feet.

 

 Considering he hadn’t been on rollerblades since…well he couldn’t _remember_ when, he readjusted quite quickly, then again, figure-skating and rollerblading surely were the same thing, only the latter lacked ice. Once he’d got his footing he didn’t need Kai’s help to stay upright at all, although the nerves about stepping out onto a crowded floor certainly had his legs trembling with the threat of knocking him down. “K-Kai, how can I skate if I can’t _see_?” Kai stopped then, turning to face him before they left the bathroom.

“You can see blurs of colours, right?” Rei nodded hesitantly.

“Y-yeah…it’s just…it’s like someone is holding this frosted glass over my eyes or something…I…I just…” he trailed off, not able to connect himself to that horrible emotion any longer. Roused from his all-too depressing thoughts by Kai’s fingers brushing gently over his hand, a reassuring gesture that caused warm tingles to erupt over his skin.

 

 “I’m not going to let go of your hand, and besides…” he whispered in his ear softly, crushing his lover with a comforting embrace. “I want to show you nothing has changed.” Rei sighed, blinking back the disobedient tears pricking at the back of his eyes.

“Kai…can’t you see? _Everything_ has changed…”

“I don’t believe that…we can’t get that time back again, but we can be happy in the time we have now.”

“Kai…”

“You ready?”

 

 Before Rei could answer, Kai stuck his head out the door, checking that there was nobody watching – after all, how would he explain two boys going in the men’s room and one boy and one girl coming out? “The coast is clear,” he muttered, skating out into the hallway, pulling Rei gently behind him.

 

 The rough carpeted hall to the toilets led off almost directly onto the wooden-floored ‘dance floor’ or more precisely ‘skating floor’, separated from the carpeted outskirts of the room (undoubtedly where the parents would watch the younger children skate). Dazzling lights startled even Rei, who could just make out the obscenely bright, different coloured light affects, that occasionally changed in slow, subtle movements. It wasn’t particularly crowded, (for which Kai was grateful) but there were still a lot of people gliding across the floor. Squeezing Rei’s hand gently, Kai skated onto the rink, pulling Rei after him.

 

 “K-Kai?” The Chinese boy muttered awkwardly, tugging at the hem of his knee-length skirt occasionally, not at all adjusted to having such a lot of… _room_ in his clothing – nor as much air. “What’re we-”

“-Just have _fun_ Kitten,” Kai laughed, skating backwards, following the flow of the others on the rink, pulling Rei with him, the obsidian-haired-boy startled slightly into the smooth, flowing motion, “Remember ‘fun’ that thing where you smile?” He clutched Kai’s hand tighter, still adjusting to such swift movements when he couldn’t see anything. Then he realised, he recognised the sensation he received when he opened hi eyes. It was not overly different to how you might feel after you’ve spun around too fast for your vision to catch up, only with a lot more blurriness, and a little less initial dizziness; because Rei didn’t feel _dizzy_ , not really anyway, not as much as he should have been.

 

 Navigating through the nervous smaller children who were clinging to their father’s or mother’s hands tightly, Kai glanced at Rei once more, smirking at the flushed glow to those cheeks that had, for so long been pale and impassive – Rei was smiling again. “Enjoying yourself, Kitten?” The raven-haired-boy laughed gently, grasping Kai’s hands as his lover crossed over their hands, spinning them as they moved across the floor, inspiring smiles and even cheers from some of the smaller children, making those lips that Kai adored so broaden into a radiant smile he hadn’t seen in so long.

 

 The music changed track just then, causing Kai to glance up at the DJ off to the side on a slightly raised platform. This place hadn’t changed at all since the last time Brooklyn brought him here. _I couldn’t have been more than eleven or twelve then,_ he thought, recalling so vividly the beaming red-head watching him from the sidelines as he, Tala and Zeo skated across this floor in their youth for the first time, together.

 

 Snapping from his thoughts, Kai found Rei twirling in his embrace, offering him another of those unadulterated smiles. “Come on, Kai,” he said, features struck with such cheer that Kai was beginning to doubt whether this was reality or not. “Dance with me,” the raven-haired-boy said rather dramatically, the joke exciting a smirk onto the taller boy’s lips.

“What, to this song?” Kai asked, slightly startled by this sudden flair of unseen confidence in a bashful person who always seemed to want to slink away to the shadows of the room to be ignored. Rei nodded, still beaming childishly at him, like a child asking for some elaborate gift from a parent. Again, Kai smiled, a natural urge he couldn’t have stopped if he’d wanted to. “Alright then…”

 

 Holding Rei to his chest, Kai met those lustrous, unseeing orbs, before clutching his hands tightly, twirling him away from his chest, the turn leaving Rei facing away from him, arms slightly stretched out, still within Kai’s grip, almost like wings, as they skated forwards. Bringing one hand over Rei’s head, the slate-haired-boy twisted him again to face him, skating him backwards in the circle moving round the room. The smaller boy’s free hand pressed gently to his chest, pushing himself backwards slowly, sensing Kai following after him, guiding him. It didn’t matter that he couldn’t see anything, he didn’t need to look to hear the faint echo of those words in his ears, _“I_ know _you can do this, you may not believe in yourself, but you believe in me, right… The last time I checked, we were in this together…What did I promise? I’m not gonna let you fall, got that?”_

 

**‘Look around the world pretty baby,**

**Is it everything you’d hoped it’d be?**

**The wrong guy,**

**The wrong situation,**

**The right time to roll to me,**

**Roll to me.’**

 

 Rei felt Kai’s arms grasp his waist gently as he caught up with him, raising his arms to rest on the slate-haired-boy’s shoulders, their chests barely a hairsbreadth apart. He fell completely under Kai’s control then, practically falling limp in that embrace, before using his grip on Kai’s shoulders to push himself up a little. Kai spun twice as he moved, Rei held up off the ground by his hold on those shoulders, before dropping himself gently, still smiling, allowing Kai to skate him backwards once more.

 

**‘Look into your heart pretty baby,**

**Is it aching with some aimless need?**

**Is there something wrong and you can’t put your finger on it?**

**Right then, roll to me.’**

 

 Spinning in Kai’s embrace swiftly, Rei fell back purposefully, gracefully, Kai lifting him back up gently, twirling him once, twice successively, making sure never to relinquish his hold on him for too many moments at a time. Still keeping firm hold of his hand, Kai push Rei by his shoulder gently, the boy still moving, fingers entwined with his, still smiling. His torso met Rei’s as he skated two him once more, catching up with him, arms laced around the slim frame turning them both to skate the opposite way with the few others on the rink as the supervisor’s voice sounded briefly above the music, saying to change the skating direction.

 

**‘And I don’t think I have ever seen a soul so in despair,**

**So if you want to talk the night through,**

**Guess who will be there?**

**So don’t try to deny it pretty baby,**

**You’ve been down so long you can hardly see,**

**When the engine starts and it won’t stop raining,**

**It’s the right time, to roll to me,**

**Roll to me, roll to me.’**

 

 Rei’s hips swayed subtly, causing Kai to smirk. “How shameful of you my Kitten,” he whispered, “trying to seduce me on the dance-floor?” Rei just laughed quietly, turning in his arms again, so that he was behind Kai, gripping his hips tightly, as he slid down, through his lover’s legs as he was still moving, Kai gripping his hands and pulling him nimbly back to his feet once more with a slight bounce.

 

**‘And I don’t think I have ever seen a soul so in despair,**

**So if you want to talk the night through,**

**Guess who will be there?’**

 

 Rei felt his heart fluster a little at pulling off the move, he found it difficult to do it perfectly when he wasn’t… _visually impaired_. “Unbelievable,” he muttered, as Kai twirled him again so his back was pressed flush to Kai’s chest.

“ _You_ are unbelievable,” Kai whispered in his ear, again, spinning him to meet his eyes, clutching his hands tight, relishing in the laughter spilling past Rei’s lips as he pulled his arms gently, causing his body to twist and sway to either side, the skirt fluttering around his legs. Rei blushed, snaking his arms swiftly round Kai’s neck, legs sliding either side of Kai’s allowing himself to fall back slowly, the taller boy catching him mid-move, meeting those eyes, as he pulled him back up with poise, their breathless chests meeting as the song ended.

 

**‘So look around your world pretty baby,**

**Is it everything you hoped it’d be?**

**The wrong guy, the wrong situation**

**The right time, to roll to me,**

**The right time, to roll to me,**

**The right time, to roll to me.’**

 

 At first they barely registered the dull sound of those around them, until Rei flushed with the sudden realisation of exactly _what_ that noise was – applause. Regaining his footing, Rei smiled awkwardly, allowing Kai to lead him off the floor slowly, manoeuvring him to a seat for a moment, panting breathlessly in exhaustion.

 

 “Geez,” panted Rei, still smiling up at him as the room returned to normal, eyes not on him, and Kai handed him a bottle of water he’d retrieved from the vending machine. “ _That_ was tiring – but fun,” he added, seeing his lover’s mouth open to argue. “I’d forgotten how good it was to skate.” Kai took his hand, holding it to his own cheek subtly, showing the smaller boy his smile through the gentle touch.

“Yeah, it’s not _our_ kind of skating but, it was fun, wasn’t it?” Rei nodded, offering the bottle of water to Kai to drink from.

 

 “Excuse me?” Kai jumped at the sudden voice from behind him, nearly choking on his current mouthful of water. Then he realised, he recognised that voice. “You’re Kai Hiwatari, aren’t you?” Kai nodded blankly, turning to face the young woman properly.

“Yeah…”

“I’m Maya – we’ve met before, you’ve skated at a lot of the same competitions as us.” Kai’s face was suddenly alight with recognition.

“Oh, yeah I remember now, you were at the last two finals I went to, you like doing performances to songs by Yuki Kajiura.” Maya nodded, a curtain of dark hair falling free from its place behind her ear, and she raised her hand to tuck it back again.

“Yeah, that’s right. See, Jin, I told you it was him.” From somewhere behind her, emerged the dark-haired-man who Kai knew to be her skating partner.

“What a coincidence, us being at the same place,” he admitted, shaking hands with Kai politely.

 

 “Oh,” said the Russian boy, noticing the couple’s gaze flicker to Rei at his side. “This is-”

“-Maya and Jin? As in Maya Sashimi and Jin Sakamoto?” Rei asked, cutting across Kai’s words, “we’ve met, you were at our last competition, that big-headed judge was dead-set on making you cry.” Maya laughed.

“Yeah, I’m afraid I’m a little more sensitive to things they say than I’d like to admit, Jin’s constantly scolding me for it…”

“Wait,” said Jin then, his head tilted slightly in half-realisation. “The last competition…that’s right, that’s where I remember you from; you were paired with Hiwatari in the last final, weren’t you? You replaced Kym Monou?”

 

 Rei swallowed hard. Just what had he got himself into? The partner with Kai at that competition was supposed to be a girl! _Wait,_ he thought, suddenly recalling his state of dress, _oh thank the gods, I’m saved._ He’d never been so grateful for being dressed in a girl’s outfit, if he’d have been wearing his usual clothes and Maya and Jin recognised him – as a _boy_ , they’d be in deep trouble…

 

 “Yeah, that’s right,” Kai answered for him quickly.

“I’m Rei,” he answered he unasked question, unthinkingly, Kai could have raised his hand and smacked him upside the head. Maya looked a little puzzled.

“Rei? That’s an odd name for a girl…”

“R-E-I, it's spelt the girl's way, it’s Chinese,” Kai replied swiftly, “Rei is from China.” Her face was alight once more, reminding the two boys of Max briefly.

“Wow,” she said excitedly, “that’s different, one partner from China and one from Russia. Doesn’t it feel weird to represent a country different to yours?” Rei blinked blindly, realising she was addressing him now.

“Well I…I…I don’t think of it that way,” he admitted, in a voice as girly as he could muster without sounding suspicious, “when I skate it’s not for my country, it’s for Kai.” Jin, Kai and Rei jumped as Maya squealed excitedly, reminding the two smaller boys even _more_ of their blond hyper friend at home.

“Awww, that’s so adorable, you’re so sweet, Rei. I take it you two are a couple outside of skating then?” Kai nodded, holding up his and Rei’s intertwined hands as if to punctuate the point. The dark-haired-girl smiled still.

“Us too,” she respond affectionately, gesturing to the man beside her, “the judges seem to give points for chemistry, it seems to be more entertaining if the audience can see the passion between the partners, so I guess it helps to actually _have_ that outside skating, ne?”

 

 Rei smiled back, he liked this woman, she seemed nice, as did her partner of course.

“Maya, the time,” Jin prompted from beside her gently. She startled, staring at his watch.

“Oh, my goodness, we only came for a quick hour or two, we’ve got an appointment – I hope you don’t think me rude?” Kai smirked, shaking his head.

“Of course not, it was nice to see you,” the Russian boy answered courteously. The Japanese couple smiled.

“And you,” replied Jin, “we’ll see you at the Christmas competition?” Kai wet his lips agitatedly.

“Actually we-”

“-Yeah,” answered Rei, cutting across him. Kai frowned, turning to gaze at him, bewildered. “We will, see you there.” With that, the couple disappeared amongst the crowd, leaving the two boys as alone as they were before.

 

 “What was that?” Kai asked, still a little stunned. “When you said you-”

“I’ve been thinking about it for a while now,” the obsidian-haired-boy answered honestly, his voice quiet, barely audible over the music, “You love skating, it’s your dream – your life, I don’t want you to lose it all just because of me-”

“-I told you-”

“-And now I’m telling _you_ ,” Rei interrupted, eyes gleaming, staring at him unseeingly, and yet far from emotionless. “You…you’re never so alive as when you’re on the ice, I _know_ that…I want to give that back to you, and I want to go back on there with you. I want to be with you again – like we were before – like we were just then,” he muttered, gesturing to the rink. “I want to do this, Kai. Are you with me on this decision, or not?” Kai wet his lips once more, staring at his lover thoughtfully, still frowning in slight confusion.

“Well, I never said no before…” he answered, “it’s gonna be a tight schedule, we’ll have to re-practice the routine, and make a few changes due to your err… And there’s not a lot of time for any of that left before the performance.” Rei smirked almost mischievously, squeezing his hand softly. “I guess I’ll have to let Brooklyn know.”

 

*                 *                 *

 

 Rei sighed as he threw himself down onto the couch, eyes closed softly against the living-room. Kai had gone out to fetch something he’d forgotten earlier from the store, and said he’d probably swing by the hospital to talk to Brooklyn about their recent decision. A fire had lit inside Rei with the thought of being able to skate back onto the ice with Kai once more. He couldn’t _ever_ remember being as happy as he was today, skating across that hall, Kai’s fingers entwined with his, that free, liberating movement overtook him, coercing the previously dampened flames within back to life. That is, until he returned home.

 

 Though the same sensation still burned within, the previous self-conscious misery seemed to loom over the doorway as they stepped back into their dormitory, and launch itself at him the moment he entered. All that it took to summon that insecurity back to the surface was brushing his own hands over his skin, and recalling the scarring that he couldn’t see, but he knew that Kai could.

 

  _This is **pathetic** , _he growled at himself, hands clenching into fists, _how the hell can I be so happy one minute and then miserable?!_ He didn’t understand what caused this rollercoaster of emotions, and that only served to upset him more. Was it what the doctor warned? _‘The balance of his mind disturbed in some form of aftermath to the accident’_ as he’d put it? That basically meant he might have fits of depression, Rei had realised quite quickly, since that was _exactly_ what was happening to him. _I just want to be happy again,_ he thought, allowing the tears that were fighting to escape trickle down his cheeks. _Is that so wrong? I **know** I shouldn’t be like this but I…how can I **not** be when I’m so…so fucking hideous?!!! _

 

 A sudden knock at the door drew him from his thoughts, and he sighed again, this time the breath heavy with the burden of his emotions, as he gathered himself to his feet, pressing himself against the door. “Who is it?”

“Come on Rei,” came a familiar voice from beyond the door, “I’ve got a date with Max, you want these things or not?” Opening the door slowly, Rei yelped as Tyson thrust the package into his grasp. “There, figured that was it, it was the present Zeo got you that you didn’t want before, right?” The Chinese boy swallowed nervously.

“Y-Yeah… Thanks Ty, good luck with your date tonight.” He could _hear_ Tyson’s perverted smirk in his voice.

“No problem, Rei, I gotta go now, see ya – oh and er…have fun…”

 

 Rei shut the door behind him as quick as he could, locking it, but leaving it off the latch (so Kai could still get back in) and heading over to the bedroom as swiftly as he was able to. Tossing the box onto the queen-size bed, Rei delved into the package, shivering slightly, wetting his suddenly dry lips, trying not to think _too_ much about what a perverted thing he was about to do…

 

  _Geez,_ he thought, emptying the contents of the box (that if he could see would show was labelled clearly _‘Rei’s birthday present, enjoy little Rei-Rei, love Zeo’ –_ the birthday present Rei had… _kindly_ rejected), _I’m turning into Zeo in a matter of **minutes**!_

 

 

TBC

 

* * *

 

 _Disclaimer:_ Don't own beyblade or any of its trademarks, they belong to Takao Aoki and other people who aren't me. This fic is mine, as is the title, chapter titles, plot, and extra characters that dont feature in the anime. However the song "Roll to me" By Del Amitri does **not** belong to me, and I hold **NO** rights to it. And obviously I don't own Rollerworld in any way either XD No steal no sue. Danke!

 

Shigure-san

x chuu x


	34. I Wanted You

 

_I Wanted You_

_~Thirty Four~_

 Kai sighed as he shut the door behind him as he walked into the dormitory, frowning slightly when he noticed Rei had left his mobile on the coffee table by the couch. _Odd,_ he thought, _Rei always has that on him, even when he’s indoors…_ Shrugging it off, Kai dropped the groceries down on the counter, shoving them roughly into the cupboard. “Rei?” he called, wrestling with the carton of milk to fit it in the over-crowded fridge-freezer. “Rei I got some more pasta, so we can have Spaghetti Bolognese tonight after all – only problem is, who’s cooking it?” No answer. He frowned once more, closing the fridge door. “Rei?” The slate-haired-boy growled under his breath as the silence reigned through the house. He knew Rei was in, because the door was locked from the inside – he’d had to use his keys to get in…

 

 “Rei you little Jackass, make some noise so I know you aren’t dead or something.” A small, muffled, indescribable noise sounded from beyond the closed bedroom door. Suppressing his irritation, though just barely, Kai scowled, seizing the door-handle and charging into the bedroom.

 

 Crimson eyes widened in disconcerted shock, the door swinging shut behind him of its own accord. “R-Rei?” His jaw dropped in pure shock, immobile, standing there dumbly, gazing across the room at Rei, resting on their bed, sprawled across the many pillows sexily, one leg tilted against the other subtly, and dozens of candles scattered around the room, flickering in the dark room, allowing enough light for Kai to see by, and to catch that forebodingly lustful look in golden eyes he adored. He swallowed hard, as his eyes travelled over luxuriously revealed pale flesh, clad in skin-tight corset and matching panties, adorned with lace and connected to thigh-high stockings by suspenders. Slender fingers toyed idly with the velvety kitty-tail attached to his lingerie, as he felt Kai’s gaze over him, tilting his head to one side slightly, the obsidian halo of hair fanned out beneath him, topped with the cat-ears clipped into the hair at the top of his head.

 

 “See something you like, Kai?” Rei asked huskily, smirking slightly, he couldn’t see Kai’s face, but he didn’t have to see to know what expression was crossing his features. Kai swallowed again, as the Chinese boy leant forwards, crawling slowly across the bed towards him.

“R-Rei?” he managed out, his voice a little higher than usual, “what game are we playing here?” He sounded unsure – he _was_ unsure, maybe even a little worried, and _a lot_ turned on… Rei merely smirked in answer to the question, turning slowly, on his hands and knees on the queen-size bed, and turning his head to regard Kai over his shoulder, his swaying his hips suggestively.

“You name the game Hiwatari…as long as it’s two-player…” The forebodingly seductive tone sent shivers over the taller boy’s body, rousing goose-bumps over his flesh, blood rushing to his nether-regions.

 

 “Th-This…” Kai struggled to say, “This isn’t right. Why’re you playing some seductress all of a sudden?” Rei didn’t respond, it wasn’t quite as hard to be in embarrassing situations when he couldn’t see Kai gazing at him lustfully, and besides, he was too far lost to aching desire to care any longer.

“Kai…” he half groaned, half purred, tipping his ass into the air, pressing his upper body into the mattress, forehead resting on his arms, and fingers knotting into the sheets. “ _Please_ …”

 

 Wetting his suddenly dry lips, Kai forced his limbs into movement, approaching the bed slowly. Rei’s muscles tensed in apprehension, disappointed when all those advancing callous palm served to do was brush the ebony tresses from his back, those lips caressing the nape of his neck gently, before shivering away. The Chinese boy’s body trembled, trying to coerce the attention back towards it, but failing, adjusting his head slightly, Rei made out the hazy blur of Kai behind him, obviously watching him, framed by his shuddering legs.

 

 “K-Kai?” He asked, now more anxious than anything else.

“Why’re you dressed like this?” Kai enquired huskily, not moving, but not touching him either. _‘Why’_ his mind repeated, Why didn’t Kai _want_ him? What was wrong with him? Were his scars really so hideous that he didn’t want him sexually anymore? His erection wilted slightly.

“Why…why don’t you want me anymore…?” Kai’s eyes widened, noting that Rei hadn’t shifted his position at all, frame still arched very compromisingly, but he couldn’t, not when something was obviously wrong, it wasn’t right…

“You – You _what_?”

“Ever since the accident you… I know I’m scarred, and I can’t see to check just how bad it is but…you haven’t…” Rei paused, tears pricking irritatingly at the backs of his eyes, pressing his face into his forearms once more, hiding his misery-stricken face. “You haven’t had sex with me…”

 

 It took a moment for those words to register, but when they did, Kai’s back went straight, and he turned to face his, emanating anger. “ _Didn’t want you’? ‘Haven’t had sex with you’?!”_ Kai repeated, his voice growing louder and louder. The slate-haired-boy seized Rei’s right arm, yanking him round hard, rousing a strangled gasp of pain from Rei’s lips. Rei winced as Kai threw him back to the bed, squeezing his wrists hard in frightening anger. “Are you kidding me?! I wanted you! I wanted you, you fucking idiot!”

 

 Rei cried out again, and Kai released his arms, kneeling over his hips, staring down at him furiously. “Take your clothes off.” Rei’s blind eyes widened.

“What-”

“-You, you’re dressing up like a girl for me, right? I don’t want you to dress up or play pretend that you’re anything but what you are – I love you as you are, _idiot_.”

“Well if I’m so stupid then how come you _liked_ me like this – and don’t pretend you didn’t ‘cause you did! You dressed me like a girl at the skate-rink!”

“It's easier on you if you dress as a girl, you _said_ as much! And of course I like you in them, I like you in anything, I fucking love you!”

“If you love me as I am then why won’t you touch me anymore?!!!” Rei screamed, his throat beginning to hurt with the volume of his voice tearing at his throat. Kai seized his wrists once more, leaning down swiftly, his face a mere hairsbreadth from Rei’s, their noses touching slightly.

“You think I didn’t want to?” Kai asked, forebodingly calm, hot breath steaming onto Rei’s cheeks, dusting his face with a blush. “I wanted to, I wanted to so badly it damn well hurt, but I didn’t want to push you, or hurt you, so I waited. I figured you’d come to me when you were ready – but no, you just go flying off the handle needlessly, rather than come talk to me...”

 

 A long, awkward silence fell between them, in which neither moved, fiery crimson gaze locking with gold, their chest touches as they heaved with breathlessness. Suddenly Rei leapt forwards, arms snaking round Kai’s neck, smashing his lips into those parted slightly in invitation above his. “Kai,” he gasped between kisses, the other boy’s arms hugging him tightly, skimming over his hips, trapping one of his slender legs between his, assaulting rose-petal lips with ardent caresses of his tongue, massaging open-mouthed kisses gently against him, devouring him with the passionate thirst of a man starved of water for days. “I – Love you – Gods I – I love you so much – it – it feels like I’m – going crazy I love you so much…”

 

 Kai drew back with a final kiss, touching noses gently, and capturing Rei’s chin with his fingers as the boy tried to steal another kiss. He captured those eyes never caring that they could not do the same for him, tilting his head back gently, showering the exposed throat with tender nips, latching onto vulnerable flesh and sucking hard, slippery licks drawing lovingly over the light bruising brewing there. “I love you too,” he answered, punctuating his words by grazing his collarbone with his teeth gently, “I don’t care about these scars, they’re part of you, so I love them too,” he paused, leaning up to caress the most prominent facial scar across Rei’s cheek with a chaste lick, leaning in to nuzzle the side of his neck afterwards, “everyone of them… You’re beautiful…”

 

 Rei felt his chest elate with those words, his flesh tingling like the first time, taking a sharp intake of breath as Kai brushed his callous fingertips in slow gyrations over his nipple through the corset, causing those delectable hips to rise against him, thighs locking behind the small of his back, the obsidian-haired-boy grinding his erection into Kai’s with ragged, passionate cries, throwing his head back, blunt nails raking into his lover’s shoulders in release of his thrill. It was like he’d never been touched like it before, like being made love to for the first time, and he felt like dying it felt so good.

 

 “Now,” Kai said, his lecherous attitude seeping back into his voice as he smoothed placid kiss over Rei’s exposed stomach, unfastening the ribbon that bound the corset shut at the front, appreciating each new slither of flesh revealed with gentle passes of his tongue, “Kitten, where did you get this naughty little outfit from?” he purred, capturing a pink nipple between his teeth ever-so-gently, tracing the erect nub with the very tip of his tongue, drawing kittenish mewls from his kiss-bruised lips. “You weren’t a dirty kitty that went into mischievous shops were you?” Rei, not able to form words, groaned as Kai drew the nipple into his mouth, sucking gently, noting the Chinese boy shook his head. “No?” he repeated the unvoiced reply, the vibrations of his words running through Rei’s trembling skin, lithe hips grinding into him once more, trying to get attention, and as the dutiful lover, Kai complied.

 

 “Where’d you get this from Kitten?” Kai asked, fingers running deviously over the hardened member that’s outline was clearly visible through the panties, cupping the bulges beneath, brushing the pad of his thumb over them and drinking in his lover’s cries that spilled from his lips in response, a lecherous smirk reaching his lips.

“I – I – It was a present,” Rei managed out, head thrashing from side-to-side, trying to reach down to rid himself of the panties, but Kai swatted his hand away.   
”Hn? Who gave _my_ naughty Kitten a gift?” he purred, pushing Rei’s legs up slightly framing the flushed boy as he looked up at him. “Hm?”

“Z-Zeo gave it to me for my birthday this year, b-but I…I…I didn’t want it, so I refused, b-but he said if I ever changed my mind to take it…s-so I took it today f-from h-his dorm…”

 

 Kai smirked, content with the reply, taking pity on his lover’s far-too honest little body, eyeing the soiled lingerie carefully. He clicked his tongue, feigning impatience. “Such a dirty little Kitten you are,” he muttered, seizing the waistband of the panties carefully, tugging them up so they rubbed in just the right places over Rei’s most sensitive area. “Look, you’ve got your nice new panties all wet.”

“Don’t be mean Kai,” Rei muttered, gnawing on a finger to keep his cries muffled.

“They’ll have to come off then…” Kai teased, pulling them free of his love’s legs swiftly, leaving the stockings very much there, noting Rei’s toes clenching, his erection freed from it’s boundaries, standing up for attention under Kai’s chin. “Oh so willing already little Kitten?” he asked, leaning over Rei for the tube of lube that his dutiful lover had obviously scoured the drawers for previously, and left out.

 

 Returning to lie on his stomach on the bottom of the bed, his head lingering over Rei’s hips, Kai reached down, squeezing himself gently, his breath shuddering over Rei’s trembling organ as he groaned, relieving some of the tension within himself, fingers ghosting over his head in slow jerks. More guessing than anything what Kai was doing, Rei tilted his head slightly, grabbing Kai’s shoulders, not able to reach any other part of him in this position. Without a word, Rei drew Kai upwards, pressing his lover back to the bed, crawling over him, careful to place his knees either side of Kai’s head, mouth descending over his dominant lover’s length slowly. Kai cried out with the shock of it, Rei brushing his tongue over the slit, pulling back to grasp him in his hand, massaging his balls with his other hand.

 

 “Gods…” Kai groaned, seizing his kitten’s hips suddenly, pulling them down to his mouth, the tip oozing pre-emission, fingers capturing it, using the liquid to lubricate his strokes, pumping Rei slowly, hissing in pleasure at the sinfully delicious vibrations of Rei’s moans around his cock. The slick movements caused Rei’s hips shudder, his head tipping back, feeling Kai’s grip tug back his foreskin, exposing his sensitive pinkness to that wicked tongue, which promptly darted out flickering over the tip before capturing it between his lips, sucking gently.

“AH! K-KAI! I LOVE YOU! I – I – JUST – I – I’m gonna…”

 

 Kai pulled back, kissing the tip tenderly, before seizing the small tube at his side, smoothing the substance over his fingers, yanking Rei’s hips hard down towards him, drawing his lover’s member fully into his throat. He felt Rei twitching above and inside him, smoothing a fingertip over the trembling entrance slickly, brushing the lube around it, before pushing in gently. Rei choked on Kai’s erection with surprise, pulling back, running his tongue down over each side apologetically, hips jerking forwards and backwards into that finger and mouth, eager for more. The intruding digit coerced his inner muscles into loosening in a way they were very much used to by now (just not recently) the heated internal flesh obeying Kai’s movements, clenching around him occasionally, out of Rei’s control, causing the slate-haired-boy to smirk around his mouthful, mumbling something that he was sure was _‘eager Kitten’_ around his erection.

 

 Rei pushed back appreciatively into the second finger, reaching between him and Kai for the lube, and smoothing some onto his own hand, capturing Kai’s hardness once more, smoothing the lotion over the heated member. He felt his lover’s hips try to rise up into the stimulating touches, though Rei pinned them down firmly, running his fingers over the exposed tip, before jerking on the pulsating organ that was desperate for release and he pressed into the tip gently. Kai hissed, pushing on his hips gently, releasing his erection from the sweet confines of his mouth with an embarrassing wet noise, moving Rei forwards enough so he could kneel behind him on the bed. Kai smirked, smacking the smaller boy’s ass playfully. “You’re my favourite little slutty kitten,” he purred, adjusting himself at Rei’s entrance. Rei smirked at his words.

“Of course I am, I’m your only kitten,” he responded hoarsely, admitting to the pet-name at last.

“And that makes you extra special, I’m sure,” he teased, pressing his hardness into that delicious heat, his cock twitching inside Rei as the obsidian-haired-boy tipped his head back, hair splaying over his shoulders as he cried out in wanton passion.

 

 Kai bit down on his lip, stifling his groan, feeling his lover’s tightness squeeze him, urging him to continue. “You like this don’t you Kitten?” He muttered, pulling back a little way before lurching back into Rei’s body. Rei moved forwards swiftly with the thrust, panting, his upper body tilting down towards the comfort of the sheets, retreating to lie down, ass still high in the air, under the mercy of Kai’s pounding thrusts. Those hands seized his hips, helping him draw back into the movements against him, and he squeezed Kai in appreciation, the pulsing organ within him oozing pre-emission, and he hissed in wicked bliss.

 

 “Still want more my pervy little Kitten?” Kai asked, ever the tease, reaching down to capture Rei’s desperate erection in his hand, mimicking the slow, torturous thrusts over his aching hardness with the movements inside him. Rei clamped down on him once more screaming into the sheets. Kai pressed inwards, pausing there momentarily, gyrating his hips against Rei’s slowly, his free hand manoeuvring round to stroke Rei’s balls gently. “That’s it Kitten, you damn little tease,” he growled, hearing his little lover’s careless cries of hysteric bliss, feeling the orbs under the mercy of his hand tense with what must’ve been almost unbearable pressure that needed release. “You’re so damn horny my little Kitty, would you like to come?” Rei whimpered into the sheets, driving his ass back towards Kai’s hips.

“I – I – I’m so full…” he groaned into the bed, following the gyrations of Kai’s hips, noting that he wasn’t pushing at the moment. The clenching passage around him sent Kai’s body into tremors, and he tipped his head back, pulling back and thrusting back in harder.

“I missed you, Rei,” he purred, his pace quickening, Rei’s tortured cried signalling his need for release.

 

 The tight passage seemed to be getting tighter by the moment, constricting around his throbbing member, urging him into completion. “K-Kai!” Rei screamed, on the brink of insanity, “I’m – I’m coming…”

“Come all you like Kitten,” he responded fingers taking him gently, relishing in the feel of pre-cum lubricating his strokes.

 

 Suddenly he felt Rei’s body tense up, moving backwards against him in slow, repetitive motions, as his climax spilled forth onto Kai’s hand, those fingers pumping him still, milking his body until he was empty. Rei still drifting in orgasmic bliss, Kai felt his entrance tense around him, practically torturing his essence from him, joining his lover in completion.

 

 The two boys panted raggedly, fighting to regain their breath, Rei spiralling back down from his peaceful oblivion, barely registering that Kai had brought him back to lie against the plush pillows. Sighing heavily, the obsidian-haired-boy nuzzling his face into Kai’s chest. “Kai?” he asked when his breath was stable once more.

“Hn?”

“I’m sorry…” Kai frowned, opening his tired eyes once more.

“What’re you sorry for now?”

“I just…I’m sorry I doubted you… I should have known you better than that…” Kai smirked, squeezing Rei’s shoulders, his embrace tightening.

“Yes, you should have, paranoid little cry-baby,” he joked, brushing a kiss over Rei’s cheek. “Now go to sleep.” Rei frowned.

“Why?”

“We’ve got a busy day ahead of us tomorrow.” Rei’s frown deepened, evidently awaiting for Kai to elaborate further on his words.

 

 “We’ve got breakfast with the idiots and training with Brooklyn – and don't scowl at me, you wanna win this performance you’re gonna have to work that little ass off.” The obsidian-haired-boy’s petulant scowl disappeared into an exhausted smile, closing unseeing eyes against the dim room. Then he growled under his breath, poking Kai in the side. Kai jumped. “What?”

“The candles need putting out.”

“So go do it.” Rei yawned, turning his back to Kai in the bed, “My butt hurts, you do it.” Kai arched a brow at his choice of words.

“But I _did_ just do it.” The Chinese boy thumped him on the arm playfully.

“I’ll let you do it again in the morning if you damn well do it,” he joked, yanking the sheets off Kai playfully and curling them around him.

“That a deal?”

“Hmhm…” Kai smirked, laying a gentle kiss on Rei’s shoulder before getting to his feet.

“I’m going to have to wrestle my share of the sheets away from you when I come back to bed aren’t I?” asked Kai impassively.

“Hmhm…” answered Rei, already partially conquered by sleep.

 

 

TBC

 


	35. Questions & Answers

_Questions & Answers_

_~Thirty Five~_

 “I wonder if he’s been feeling himself lately,” mumbled Kevin, stirring his coffee sleepily.

“I know I would have,” Tala replied mischievously, making obscene gestures with his hand. His lover scowled.

“You perv, can we leave Rei’s masturbation regularities out of this? This is _serious_! I think he’s just about _lost_ it!” The auburn-haired-boy frowned slightly.

“Care to elaborate?”

“You mean Tyson didn’t tell you?” When the taller boy shook his head, Kevin sighed heavily. “Zeo rang from the hospital last night when I was with Max and Tyson… He said Kai stopped by earlier…and told Brooklyn that he and Rei were going ahead and competing in the upcoming competition…”

 

 He paused, avoiding his lover’s eyes, staring fixedly at the cafe table they were sitting at, thumbs playing thoughtfully over the polystyrene cup in his hands. When he ventured speech once more, his voice was a near whisper. “They’re insane…Rei will be killed – there’s no way he can skate when he can’t even see the ice under his feet…” Tala rested a hand on the smaller boy’s shoulder, only to have his efforts swatted away.

“Listen Kev,” he said at last, watching him carefully. “They know what there’re doing; Kai wouldn’t go through with this if he didn’t think Rei could get through it-”

“-Whatever, Hiwatari is just the same as always, he only cares about his stupid dream – he’ll tread on anyone to get to them, no matter _who_ it is-”

“-Kev that’s not right,” Tala shot at him, turning him to face him, “Kai’s not like that, he-”

“-Well if he’s so fucking perfect go to _his_ bed tonight!” Kevin snapped, grateful that the cafeteria was all-but empty due to the early hours, leaping to his feet. Snatching his arm, Tala yanked him back down to his seat, his face inches from his own.

“Stop it,” he muttered, “stop being a idiot. Why can’t you get over this thing? I love _you_ not Kai, not Zeo, not anyone else – it’s you who doesn’t want to be loved…”

“And why can’t you get over _that_?” He retorted, just as quiet, staring angrily into his lover’s eyes. “I love you, I _do,_ I just don’t like you groping me in front of other people – Anyway this isn’t about us, it’s about Hiwatari and his _insanity_. Rei can’t do this, he just _can’t_ …”

 

 Once again, the green-haired-boy stared pensively into the depths of his coffee, as if it somehow held all the answers, “Who knows… I’m not an expert but I’m sure there are some visually impaired figure-skaters out there… They have disabled basketball and stuff so why not?” Kevin shrugged his shoulders, sipping his hot drink, his expression still distant.

“Are there any?”

“Who knows, Kai probably would if there was…I have no idea though. Kai was the nonce that took figure-skating; I took martial-arts and Zeo-”

“-Took his pants off,” Kevin finished for him with a slight smile. Tala didn’t respond. “Oh come on Tala, it doesn’t bother Zeo, so why should it bother you?” The Russian-boy shrugged this time, he couldn’t explain it himself. He just always felt so…defensive when people pointed out his friends’ downsides, that was just who he was…

 

 “I’m just worried is all,” Kevin muttered, drawing Tala back from his thoughts. “I think those guys are losing sight of the big picture – or the main problem whatever the heck you wanna call it…” Tala frowned, observing him oddly.

“Which is?”

“That the court case for Hiro’s conviction is tomorrow, and we’re all gonna have to testify… Which means-”

“-That all your dirty little secrets will be revealed.” The two boys jumped as that irritatingly familiar voice swam over them, looking up to see Aoki, and Bryan looming by their table. “What’s the matter, Ivanoh?” Aoki goaded, a smirk crossing his features. “Can’t stand the thought of all the darkest truths of Kai, Wyatt and Zeo all being dragged up?” Tala sneered.

“Piss off, unless you wanna be smiling out the other side of your face, ass-wipe.”

“Oh, not very friendly,” continued the dark-haired-boy, “just bitter words from a – OW!” Kevin nearly choked on his suppressed laughter as he watched Tyson walk casually up behind Aoki and smack him across the back of the head with a rolled-up magazine.

“Hi-ho!” Tyson chirped happily, he and Max taking a seat opposite Tala, smacking his magazine over Aoki’s hand that was on the table. “Yo, Aoki – get bent will ya.” Aoki offered him a dark look, but at the sight of Kai and Rei approaching, walked away, obviously deciding six against two wasn’t good when it wasn’t to their advantage…

 

“Hey guys.” The boys turned at the voice, offering Kai and Rei a smile as they joined the group. “I’m glad we made this little breakfast meeting early,” Rei said, seizing a slice of toast off Kevin’s plate, “I’m in dire need of chocolate if we’re gonna be practising all day.” The others looked astonished, though Kai, who was browsing the café-menu, seemed not to notice anything out of the norm.

“You seem perky,” Tyson noticed, raising a brow at him.

“Do I?”

“Yeah…” Kevin muttered, “Like _‘Stepford wives’_ perky.” Rei merely smiled.

“Kai fucked you didn’t he?” Tala stated simply, causing the obsidian-haired-boy to choke on his toast, and Kevin to splutter as his mouthful of coffee shot out of his nose. “Kev, that’s elegant.”

“Screw you,” Kevin spat, moping up the mess with a napkin.

“Come on,” Tyson joked, looking at Rei, “You put on Zeo’s gift and Kai screwed you into the sheets for hours, didn’t he?” Rei blushed.

“And then some this morning…” Kai muttered absently, never looking up from his menu.

“Kai!”

“Would you like hot-chocolate then, Rei?”

“Don’t change the subject you sonofa-”

“-I’ll take that as a ‘yes’?”

“Kai!” Max giggled, beginning his daily ritual of emptying the little packets of sugar into his mouth.

“What’re you chuckling at?” Kevin asked, trying very hard to sound irritable, though failing miserably.

“I’m just so happy.” The green-haired-boy and his lover shared a look.

“Been smoking much of Ty’s crack Maxie?” The blond laughed.

“Don’t be silly, there’s no way he’d share,” he joked, “It’s just, now when Zeo comes back we can all be the way we were before – happy.”

“Yeah, cool,” Kai muttered briskly, “but there’s a difference between happy and psychotic.” But Kai’s complacent tone didn’t dampen the blond’s spirits.

“See, even Kai’s back to his usual ‘laugh and I’ll spit in your eye’ attitude.”

“Gee, yippee,” Kai muttered sarcastically, “Happiness – oh joy oh bliss…” But out of the corner of his eye, Tala could have sworn he saw the slate-haired-boy throw Rei a fleeting smile.

 

*                 *                 *

 

 With his feet clad in only his socks, Rei kicked his left foot back against his seat as Brooklyn tied the laces for him on his right skate. “I feel like a two-year-old…”

“Now then,” muttered the red-head, a little of his old, cheery self seeping back into his voice. “You may not be as well-endowed as our dear Kai, but you are certainly more developed than a two-year-old – despite the fact that we dress you up as a girl all the time…” Rei sighed, rousing a smirk on his friend’s lips. “You’ll do fine, Rei, it’s not as if you’re _blind_ blind-”

“-Yeah,” he muttered, “you should have heard the doctor trying to decipher between levels of blindness. I may have it better than some but it still sucks…” Brooklyn looked up at him carefully, observing the desolateness in those eyes, though not saying anything. “Sometimes, I go to look at something and I blink, like when you have something in your eye, and then I remember… I get…I get so claustrophobic sometimes when I can’t see anything, and I panic, I feel like I’m closed in… I know I’m alive, and I got off a lot better than Zeo did but… I don’t know… At least Zeo can see the person he loves…”

 

 Brooklyn wet his dry lips thoughtfully, searching his mind for anything helpful to say – he was the ‘grown-up’ afterall, wasn’t he? He somehow felt compelled to know the right things to say, but what _was_ there to say, when he was so happy moments before and now he was so… _lost_. _It’s like dealing with a pregnant woman,_ he thought, tying the other skate on.

 

 “Listen, Rei,” he said at last, “I know that you and the other’s think that I’ve got all the answers, but I don’t, I’m older, better looking-” he shared a smile with the raven-haired-boy then, glad to see some of the old Rei he knew returning to the surface, “-but I’m just like you, confused, looking for answers… Everyone everywhere has questions, Rei… _‘Is there a God?’ ‘Where did we come from?’ ‘Why am I here?’ ‘Why…?’_ And we spend the best part of our lives searching for answers, only to realise we had the answer all along.” Rei quirked a brow at him, sensing that warm smile directed at him, even if he couldn’t see it. “And we have to find them ourselves…because to each of those questions, everyone has a different answer as unique as themselves.” Rei sighed, staring blankly into his lap, none-the-wiser.

 

 “Look,” Brooklyn added, “Zeo is right, everything happens for a reason, the bad times are worth enduring, so even when it gets its darkest and it feels like every breath is so heavy you just want it to stop… It’s all worth it, because they define you, and make you stronger – strong enough to move into the next chapter of your life and be happy…”

 

 Rei gnawed his lower-lip, blind eyes watering slightly. “Oh god, Rei?” Rei shook his head.

“N-No…it’s not anything you said…I just…” he sniffed, hands clenching into fists in his lap, “that sounded like something my dad said…back when these guys used to pick on me in school…” Brooklyn frowned, looking up at him with concern.

“What did he say?” Rei forced a smile through his tears at the recollection, the memory a mix of happiness and sadness.

“He…He told me every chapter of our life is broken up with twists and bends in the road – with turning points and junctions… And even when darkness settles in, I have to remember that each chapter is still just a very small part of my life, and when the badness is over, the next chapter begins…” Rei smirked, sighing softly, wiping away his tears determinedly with his sleeve. “It’s a like a book,” he added, “it’s filled with some joy, some sorrow, but whatever happens you have to turn the page and read on so you know what happens at the end…to see if it has a happy ending…”

 

 At this, Brooklyn smiled once more, getting to his feet, staring down at the Chinese boy.

“I’m sure you’ll have a happy ending, Rei,” he assured him, glancing up as Kai stumbled in through the archway, his skates on, holding onto the side to steady himself.

“They’ve re-done the floor in there; it was a pain to get back through.” Rei smirked, feeling Brooklyn tug him to his feet.

 

 “Right,” the red-head sighed, as Kai glided onto the ice, circling the rink a few times, before coming to pause at the stands to hear what Brooklyn had to say. “I’ve got the CD with the song we’d been practising to before – I think a warm-up and then we can re-rehearse from the beginning, to keep it fresh in your-”

“-Actually,” interrupted Kai, crimson gaze flickering to Rei, who had yet to come onto the ice with him, before returning to meet Brooklyn’s eyes. “We was thinking, maybe we could change the song.” He looked mortified – no worse – like he’d been told he was going to be castrated and then put on a diet of dog-food and have to fight for his dinner with a starved rotweiler. _Or like the customers of that shop when Tyson terrorised the Indian take-away in a duvet,_ Kai thought, trying to show the recollection of Tyson running up the road (drunk) at 10pm wearing nothing but a duvet.

“What?” asked Brooklyn, stunned.

“After everything that’s happened, we…we think that it would mean more to us – to Zeo, and the others, if we used a different song.”

“Is that okay?” Rei added onto Kai’s words, waiting for Brooklyn’s reply, which only came after a long, awkward silence.

“Right-o,” he answered cheerily, steering Rei round the front row of chairs and beside the opening onto the ice. “Which song did you have in mind?” Kai leaned over the stand, reaching for his bag that was sitting on the side, and tossed him the CD that was inside.

“Track 8,” was all he said, before skating over to where Rei stood.

 

 Whilst Brooklyn swapped the CDs, Kai extended a hand outwards, taking Rei’s gently, awaiting him to move. Taking a deep, shuddering breath, Rei’s blunt nails bit into his palm as he forced his legs into movement, and the boy moved forwards, gliding onto the ice. It was like being whisked off his feet and into air, Kai flew backwards gently across the rink, and he followed, still clutching his hand, though not as tight as he himself might have expected. His eyes didn’t struggle to find his surroundings as before, he didn’t need to, this was what being ‘lead’ meant wasn’t it?

 

 He could vaguely make out Kai as the blur before his eyes – the hazy red of his shirt stood out against the crisp whiteness of the ice. Kai smirked at him, whether he could see it or not, Rei was handling it better than he thought. Leaping into a risky step, the slate-haired-boy twisted Rei slightly, twirling him swiftly, before pulling him back against him so their chests met. His heart thudded, panicked at Rei’s possible reaction, until he saw that nervous smile flutter across the obsidian-haired-boy’s features, and he knew he was alright. _As long as he can make me out somehow_ , Kai thought, _I don’t think he’ll panic…_

 

 “Hey, Romeo, Juliet,” called Brooklyn teasingly, as he looked over the lyrics to the song, “this just might work – listening to it, with a bit of tweaking we could use a lot of the old routine. What do you think?” The two boys smiled breathlessly as they approached the red-head, who promptly paused the playing music, regarding them very seriously all of a sudden. “But it will be hard work, particularly since we need to make sure Rei can cope with some of the moves now he can’t…” He trailed off, looking very distant all of a sudden. Kai frowned.

“Brooklyn?” No answer, “Hello? Earth to Brooklyn?” As the Russian-boy’s hand waved in front of his face a smirk reached Brooklyn’s lips.

“I’m having a plan boys.”

 

 The two others looked a little apprehensive at the odd tone expressed in those words, each frowning slightly. “You both know there are points awarded for good chemistry and passion, right?” They nodded, still not sure of where this was heading. “We have less than a month – that’s barely enough time but we may be able to pull it off.”

“Hang on,” Kai said, still unsure, “pull what off exactly?” Brooklyn’s smirk broadened.

“We’re gonna scrap the original performance, and re-choreograph a passionate routine where you are touching almost all the time – it’ll work to our advantage, and if you play it properly it will look beautiful with the movements. What do you think?”

 

 Kai and Rei turned to each other. Rei shrugged, though his lover made no such manoeuvre, knowing Rei couldn’t see it anyway. _We’d just play the flashy moves in a way where I don’t let him go for any length of time,_ Kai thought distantly, _it’d be a long shot but...it could work…_

TBC


	36. I Fear Nothing

 

_I Fear Nothing_

_~Thirty Six~_

 A shaky breathe drew into the Chinese boy’s lungs as he closed unseeing eyes nervously. The music from Kai’s stereo beat through his ears, and he listened intently to the song he’d be performing to that evening. Slender fingers tapped against the arms of the sofa, his crossed legs twitching slightly in time with the music, the lyrics of the man and the woman flowing into his ears. He couldn’t really understand why Kai had picked it, sure, it was good, but the lyrics had no particular meaning to him, even as he listened again and again over the past few weeks. However, he couldn’t ask Kai why. The slate-haired-boy was being so tetchy lately with the stress of the upcoming performance, and his lover was deceptively sensitive to their relationship.

 

 Did the song represent them in Kai’s mind? Or the others, he wasn’t sure. He growled under his breath, pressing the repeat button on the song once more. It was irritating not knowing what was going on in that boy’s head, despite how much they’d been through together.

 

 Aside from this comparably minor dilemma, Rei was afraid. Without his sight, he was completely under Kai’s control, meaning he’d have to pull off his moves as best he could, and rely on Kai to keep him in step should he stray off. Their new act however, he had to admit, proved difficult for him to stray too far from Kai’s side, and hence reduced the room for error, for which he was grateful. Though remained torn as to rejoice or fear at the idea of not being able to see the ice below as he leapt into dramatic movements in Kai’s arms. _At least I won’t be able to see all those gawping people laugh their asses off when I fall flat on my butt,_ he thought miserably, trying to push the nasty gore stories Tyson had teasingly mentioned about figure skating accidents to the back of his mind. _That guy is really a git when he’s drunk_ , thought Rei, leaning over to turn the CD player off, and then he realised…

 

 The song thudded in his ears, and he realised why Kai had chosen the song, or at least, he could guess why. But before he could ponder on it any further, the bedroom door opened, and Kai strolled in, rubbing his hair dry with the towel draped around his shoulders. “There’s plenty of water left for a shower if you want to take your turn to wash your hair,” Kai said, seizing a can of lemonade from the fridge, before shutting it casually. “And your mother rang; she said she was going to drop by for lunch before we have to leave. Rei gnawed his lip. He wasn’t in the mood to suffer his mother’s frantic worrying this afternoon.

“I’m not hungry,” he responded, not moving. Kai rolled his eyes.

“Well go and have your bath you moody pessimist.” Rei sighed, trying to listen to the song more than Kai’s words.

“I’ve already showered and washed my hair – I did it this morning when you were still in bed,” he answered glumly. At this, Kai’s hardened resolve dissipated, and he made his way over to the boy on the sofa, casting him an uneasy glance as he sat on the side of the coffee table, leaning over and turning off the CD Player.

 

 “You can listen to that song all you want, but it won’t make you any better or worse,” said Kai blankly, his voice carrying an indecipherable air about it. “And you’ll never realise what this is all about.” Rei frowned.

“You chose the song because that’s how you see us,” the obsidian-haired-boy answered confidently, but he could _sense_ the unchanged grimace that reached Kai’s face.

“This isn’t about why I chose the song – it’s about the performance-”

“-Of course, it’s _always_ about the performance, always about your-”

“-Shut up you stupid little fag,” Kai interrupted, offering Rei the first homosexual-related insult since they’d first had sex.

 

 “Stop flying off the handle at very little thing and _listen_ for once. This is about bringing back hope to the people that care about us – bad things happen, but when they do we have to get back up and enjoy our lives, and help our friends to do the same.” He paused, regarding the odd look that crossed Rei’s features, crimson eyes tracing the luminescent scars that cut across his lover’s right eyebrow and cheek. “This isn’t about winning or losing – we’re performing our best to show Brooklyn, and Zeo and the others that even when life knocks our feet out from under us, we can still get back up and carry on. Do you understand that?”

 

 Rei felt the guilty weight press on his stomach. He felt like a small child that had been reprimanded for misbehaving at school, only breathing easy again when Kai’s fingertips laced over his own, gripping his hand reassuringly. “I’m sorry,” muttered Rei earnestly, “I’m just…panicking is all, about the performance, about having to go back to classes eventually, it’s all just so… _hard_ …” Kai smiled, pressing a fluttering, barely there kiss to his forehead, before sitting down on the sofa beside him, picking up the book left casually on the side, and opening it, beginning to read.

 

 Rei sighed, getting to his feet slowly, and making his way over to the kitchen area. At least he felt a little better in himself now, the pressure off. Kai didn’t expect them to win, and oddly that comforted him, as he threw open the refrigerator door, seizing the only thing in there besides sodas and milk. “Whose yoghurt is this?” Rei asked., though he could not see it, Kai cast a glance back to him, and without interest returned to reading.

“Mine,” he answered simply.

“Can I eat it?” Rei asked, though received no answer. He sighed, shutting the fridge door. “I’ll eat it anyway.”

“I spat in it,” Kai said carelessly, not looking up from the book. Rei smirked, a little of the old Kai seeping back into that voice, amusing him.

“Your dick was in my mouth last night,” Rei reminded him with a laugh, sitting down beside Kai, and dipping his spoon into the yoghurt, “so I’m not worried about a bit of gob.” Kai cast him another look, though a smirk twitched at the sides of his mouth, as he resumed reading once more. “And don’t get too comfy Hiwatari,” Rei teased, scooping a little yoghurt onto his finger, before running it down Kai’s cheek, rousing a feigned scowl to Kai’s features, as the slate-haired-boy tried not to smirk. “You’re cooking dinner for my mother.” Kai tossed him the phone from the side-table next to him, looking triumphant.

“It’s a miracle service, you dial in these little numbers, speak to the nice man over the phone and he posts you a pizza – astounding, ne?” Rei smirked, awaiting Kai to move to wipe the smear of food from his cheek.

“Take-away junkie,” he teased, thumping him in the arm gently.

 

*                 *                 *

 

 The red-headed Brooklyn sighed heavily, handing Rei a boiled sweet. The Chinese boy took it swiftly; it wasn’t the first the red-head had offered him this evening. “It’s supposed to soothe your nerves,” he told him, again, not for the first time that evening. Rei drew in a shuddering gasp as he felt Brooklyn tug at the clips that bound the back of his hair elegantly in place, allowing a little of it to hang down his back, his bangs swept back gently out of his eyes. There was make-up and a dress he knew also, though preferred not to think of those, his mind prodding him occasionally, reminding him that this made him a drag queen.

 

 He sucked the sweet in his mouth more defiantly, feeling his stomach churn uncomfortably, seeming to lurch upwards occasionally with each swell of terror. He hummed idly, to no particular tune, and playing the movements over and over again in his head, and at each intervention from his sceptic mind, he recalled what he was to do if any of those horrible possibilities occurred. Eventually he breathed in heavily, and as he breathed out, he felt as if he were exhaling the worries from himself, momentarily, before the panic began to return. It was like a mantra he kept repeating to himself, all the while ignoring Brooklyn’s primping of his appearance.

 

 “Don’t worry Rei,” Brooklyn said softly, patting his shoulder. Rei nodded franticly.

“Yeah, don’t panic, right,” he muttered absently, “Brooklyn?”

“Hm?”

“I think I need to be sick…” The red-head laughed.

“You’ll do fine, just do your best and that will be enough for us, and if its not good enough for those bastard judges, screw them.”

“Rather not,” Rei responded quietly, concentrating on the sweet in his mouth defiantly.

 

 “What’s Kai doing anyway?” His trademark smirk graced Brooklyn’s lips.

“This is a big competition, Kai is handling the publicity side of things, for some reason it calms him – a weird one that boy,” he answered affectionately, finally relenting in his assault on Rei’s hair. “Weird and wonderful. In any case, are your skates on?” Rei raised his foot dumbly in answer to the question, Brooklyn smiling still. “Right, you’re ready, just got to wait until Mr Hot-shot gets back and then you can suffer the wait together.” Rei bit into the sweet, remembering that they were last yet again for the performance, and he wasn’t sure whether that was good or bad, and evidently, Kai hadn’t been sure either. In fact, Kai and he had scarcely spoken since their departure for the ice-rink. Which he was grateful for, Kai respected that talking when he was so nervous only irritated him, and fuelled him to forget everything he’d practised so thoroughly.

 

 For some reason it felt _worse_ than the first time. Although he was terrified he’d mess up because he couldn’t see, he was grateful he wouldn’t be able to see the sceptic judges or the hundreds of people staring judgementally down at him from the stands. He did regret, however, that he wouldn’t be able to see the faces of his mother, Tyson, Max, Kevin and Tala gleaming down at him from the stands. Additionally, he was upset that Zeo was still in too critical a condition to leave the hospital to see them. He’ll have to watch us on the TV, Rei thougth distantly, as he heard the dressing-room door open.

 

 “Righty’O,” Brooklyn sighed, “You two can sit here and stew while I go sit in the coach’s box, okay?” Rei nodded, feeling Kai sit down on the bench behind him. “I have faith in you boys, good luck.” The door closed behind him, leaving the couple alone, in the loudest silence Rei had ever suffered.

 

 “We don’t need luck,” Kai said, finally breaking the deafening quiet.

“Yeah,” muttered Rei, “We need a miracle.” Kai clucked his tongue impatiently, elbowing him sharply.

“No, we don’t need anything – we’re gonna win.” Rei rolled his eyes.

“Some might call that arrogance.”

“Some might call it a dose of confidence, would you like some?” Rei snorted, shaking his head slightly.

“No thanks, you’re big-headed enough for the both of us,” he answered, teasingly affectionate, wincing as Kai kissed his cheek gently.

“What’s the matter?” Rei smirked, laughing.

“You’ll smudge my make-up,” the obsidian-haired-boy replied, rubbing his cheek slightly, the nervousness fading slightly, as he heard Kai laugh quietly under his breath.

 

*                 *                 *

 

 Kevin kicked Tyson hard in the shin, commanding him to return to his seat as the Spanish couple skated off stage. “Sit down, moron,” the green-haired-boy growled under his breath, as Tyson continued to stand and clap, when everyone else had fallen silent. Tala and Max seized the bluenette’s elbows, yanking him hard down in his seat, each offering quiet apologies to the people surrounding them that continued to stare.

 

 “When’s Kai and Rei’s turn?” whispered Max, as everyone finally stopped gawking at them. Tala glanced down at the programme in his lap, that was decorated with sparkling glitter snowflakes for the annual Christmas performance.

“Kai and Rei,” he muttered aloud to himself, his finger scanning down the names. “Here we go – _‘Russia’s: Hiwatari, Kai and Partner’_ – they’re next.” Kevin muttered something indecipherable under his breath, before speaking a little louder so that his friend’s could hear.

“About time, why’ve they always got to be last-”

“-Best for last,” Rei’s mother answered him from her place beside Max, surprised at how well these boys were behaving considering Kai had warned her how… _different_ they could be.

 

 The Chinese woman hadn’t known how to respond to Rei telling her that he posed as Kai’s female figure skating partner. However after the shock had evaporated a little, she found a swell of pride brewing within her. She’d recalled how much happiness skating had brought Rei when he was younger, and rejoiced at the thought of him being so happy again now, even though he father wasn’t with him anymore.

 

 “The very best,” Kevin said to her, he, Tala and the others seizing the banner at their feet supporting Kai and Rei, as the lights dimmed, and the murmur of the crowds died, red and black-clad figures skating onto the ice, which were their friends.

 

 Down under the burden of the spotlight and the hope of their friends, Kai and Rei smiled warmly to the silent audience, circling the rink a few times, the slate-haired-boy squeezing Rei’s hand reassuringly as the two met in the middle, assuming their positions – back-to-back, awaiting the beginning of the music.

 

 Rei breathed in heavily, feeling Kai’s body pressed against his, just wishing it would begin already, and then, it did.

 

 The music opened subtly, and the couple twirled slowly, Rei leaning back gently under Kai’s sweeping motions with his arms, gliding round so that he had his back to Kai’s chest, gripping the guiding hands that came to hold his hands, which were crossed over. Still locked together, the boys skated backwards, hips swaying with each dull thud of the opening music, continuing the deft swaying manoeuvres as Rei turned, their arms still locked, though face-to-face now, Kai twirling him occasionally as they moved across the ice, until, their hands broke.

 

 Both their arms outstretched gracefully, as they glided, side-by-side across the rink, a slow subtle dance that drew in the audience, which were heartily expecting them to leap into dramatic twists and turns, as they had on their performance to ‘Wings of despair’. Not able to see their faces, Rei was unsure which they seemed to prefer, but nevertheless, their figures kept moving, twisting and fluttering until at last, the lyrics began.

 

**_‘You change the sound of my name,_ **

**_A moment of truth that I saw in your face,_ **

**_It hurts inside, a moment this vile,_ **

**_That you brought alive,_ **

**_All the roads lead back to you.’_ **

 

The couple twirled in unison, unified by the subtle beat of the song they both knew so well by now. Rei turned, and saw briefly the stark red blur of Kai’s shirt against the hazy white of the rink, smiling warmly when they faced each other.

 

 Falling beside him slowly, Rei’s right hand gripped Kai’s left, their arms out stretching once more, until Rei found himself with his back to Kai’s chest again, arms still out, like wings almost, as Kai still held him, the two flying forwards. Gliding apart but only a slight ways, Kai and Rei skated backwards, leaping into an axel jump at the same time. The music caught them as they lead out from the elegant landing to smooth, sweeping motions across the rink, spinning swiftly on one skate, outstretched, and steady in the flowing in and out of their moves, Rei beaming at both Kai and the crowds as they twirled forwards.

 

**_‘Give me something to return to,_ **

**_In your heart,_ **

**_I fear nothing but to leave here,_ **

**_Without you for life,_ **

**_We were left in this world for each other,_ **

**_But I can't run from the fate,_ **

**_I've been fighting for so long.’_ **

 

 Kai inhaled, holding his breath in hope as Rei circled him slowly, before allowing him to take his hands. Lifting him upwards over his head with a slow twirling motion, Kai allowed his other hand to fall to Rei’s waist, holding him in the air, still moving, with Rei’s frame slender and poised above him, steadied there only by the support of his hand under his hip.

 

 The crowd roared to life as they held the pose, Rei still smiling, and despite his uneasiness, feeling the weight lifted from his lungs as Kai brought him down with a graceful spin, still holding his arms, drawing him backwards with him, slightly panting, though his angelic features still graced with a smile, at the sensations coursing through him.

 

  _I can do this,_ thought Rei, relishing in the brief spout of confidence as Kai kept his hold on his hands, Rei’s body falling slightly stiff, and slickly sliding down, body straight as Kai lead him into the ‘death spiral’ which had once tortured him. Now, however, it only brought a little swell of pride leap into his throat as Kai brought him up swiftly, though adroitly. Almost immediately, he took his hips, and tossed him into the air as if he weighed nothing, the feathered, flying feeling driving Rei’s body into little shocked thrills as he abruptly felt his insides leap upwards inside him, despite his perfectly kept form. Still smiling, though sighing in relief when he dropped his arms back to Kai’s shoulders when he landed, in his lover’s arms, again, drinking in the applause as Kai pushed him gently back into a single-footed glide, the two held together by their outstretched hands.

 

**_‘You made me who, I am,_ **

**_Until the dawn of time I have..._ **

**_...walked alone,_ **

**_You tie up a storm,_ **

**_When all hope was lost,_ **

**_But time revolves, I have to let go._ **

**_One never meant to be’_ **

 

 Rei’s body hugged against Kai’s as he spun swiftly, the slate-haired-boy’s hands seizing him round the waist, the two still spinning as they Rei stretched one arm upwards, his other hand holding his right leg parallel to the ice as he allowed Kai’s movements to guide him. Gradually turning out of the move, the smiled at each other, whether Rei could see it or not.

 

 Kai and Rei mimicked the earlier movements that simulated flight, the warmth of Kai’s hands holding him a grounding comfort that defied the compelling movements between them.

 

 Spinning the smaller boy, Kai swept him off his feet, Rei’s legs moulding around his hips, before lifting him upwards once more, mirroring the prior movements of holding Rei over his head, the movement not half as terrifying the second time, though dizzying the Chinese boy slightly as he brought him down. Rei’s insides clenched as he was brought to the floor once more, Kai taking him backwards, taking control of his fluid movements as he watched the dizziness fall away from the obsidian-haired-boy’s eyes.

 

**_‘Give me something to return to, in your heart,_ **

**_I fear nothing but to leave here,_ **

**_Without you for life.’_ **

 

 As the music struck, Kai and Rei parted swiftly, though still side-by-side, they brought their arms out, as if striking the air as they zigzagged across the ice, spinning swiftly into each other’s arms. Kai seized Rei’s body again, throwing him into the air, Rei’s arms outstretched as he landed on the back edge of his skate from the spin, Kai darting forwards, sweeping off his feet once more.

 

**_‘We were left in this world for each other,_ **

**_But I can't run from the fate,_ **

**_I've been fighting for so long.’_ **

 

 Sure if he could see Rei would have saw his world spinning, he felt panic seize him when Kai took him into his arms again, throwing him into the air once more. The obsidian-haired-boy’s arms fell to his shoulder as he landed, slightly panicked at the disorientating dizziness that seized him. Kai took his hands and instead of pushing Rei away gently into a twirl as planned, he spun him, the smaller boy’s back now resting against his chest, and Rei understood, stretching his arms outwards again, Kai’s hands on his hips guiding him onwards. The couple twisted and glided in smooth circles around the rink, breathless smiles still present on their lips, even with the slight alteration to their plans.

 

**_‘Give me something to return to, in your heart,_ **

**_I fear nothing but to leave here,_ **

**_Without you for life,_ **

**_Give me something to return to, in your heart,_ **

**_I fear nothing but to leave here,_ **

**_Without you for life.’_ **

 

 Kai skated forwards, stretching his right leg out across the ice, leaving Rei to lean back gracefully, the arm that wasn’t holding Kai flowing over his head as his back arced. The arm around Kai’s stomach drew him backwards into an upright position, before throwing him away from his body once more, Rei’s form extended and refined – recovered from his brief spout of dizziness as he straightened up, spinning, before turning to face him.

 

 Rei shot towards him, Kai’s embrace ensnaring his waist. And Rei leant back, Kai bowing him forwards, slender legs sliding between his, before drawing him back up. Kai’s right and Rei’s left hand connected as they skated side-by-side again, their speed building, whipping against obsidian hair gently, as they parted, leaping into perfectly unified spinning twice and landing when the word ‘life’ sounded, and the powerful last verse of the song burst through the stadium.

 

**_‘We were left in this world for eachother,_ **

**_But I can't run from the fate, I've been fighting for so long,_ **

**_We were left in this world for eachother,_ **

**_I can't run from the fate,_ **

**_I've been fighting for so long.’_ **

 

 Rei was thrown into the air once more, his body spinning three times in succession, before he landed on his right skate, left leg poised in the air, as he skated backwards, still facing Kai who glided towards him. Kai fell into step beside him, scooping Rei up in his arms, and spinning, before dropping him to his feet gently. Steadying each other as they held one leg parallel to the ice, circling round, arms outstretched, so that Kai turned, whirling Rei’s body gently, before skating him forwards, the obsidian-haired-boy’s outspread arms like the wings flying them.

 

 Kai’s hands dropped to Rei’s hips, lifting him up, so that Rei’s legs were fanned above his head, poised in the air with his bottom resting on the flat of his lover’s palm. A silent smile reached his lips as Kai twisted him there over his head, until he slid down a little his thighs resting for a split second on Kai’s shoulders, until he twirled down the slate-haired-boy’s body to his feet. His movements hugged Kai’s form, and Kai his, as they gyrated around the ice.

 

 This wasn’t like before. Rei could feel himself moving freely, like his feet were scarcely touching the ground, his body not stiff with fear, but flowing in and out of the movements, gripped only to the ground by Kai’s gentle, guiding hands, which constantly reunited with his on and off during the moves.

 

 The two flowed over and around each other like two bodies of water, practically merging together as they twisted out of the move. Rei held Kai’s waist whilst skating around him, resting against his lover’s side, their arms outstretching together above them, his legs held over Kai’s as they smiled breathlessly up at the audience, who leapt to their feet with applause as the music finished.

 

 Rei’s body relaxed, as did Kai’s, the two still gripping each other’s hands as they bowed appreciatively at the crowds, the Chinese boy distinctly hearing Tyson and Tala ‘whooping’ over everyone else. Kai turned, kissing Rei on his cheek gently in congratulations and thank you, the two skating to the bench where Brooklyn awaited them, and beamed at them. “Hiwatari Kai and partner from Russia,” the commentator announced over the speakers.

“There’s no way you’ll lose,” Brooklyn muttered to them as the stadium fell silent, and they, along with the rest of the contenders awaited the judges’ decision.

 

 Kai gasped for his breath, adjusting his red shirt slightly, that was adorned with black lining that complemented the black of his slightly flared trousers. He glanced at Rei, who was just as breathless, though still smiling, and took in his appearance with obsidian hair tied mostly up, the dress he wore a feminine mimic of Kai’s clothing, and Kai looked away from him swiftly, trying not to smirk at the fact that Brooklyn had not neglected to stuff Rei’s _bra_ subtly, feigning breasts. The light-hearted easiness remained between them, even as that voice boomed from above once more, and scores began to fare up on the electronic board over the back of the rink.

 

  _Hiwatari & Anon – Russia, _appeared alongside various others, among them _Sakamoto & Sashimi – China, capturing_ their attention, an astounding overall _65 pts_ staring down at them from its great height. And Rei beamed, at the _67 pts_ residing beside their _own_ names. They’d won.

 

 The audience cheering and clapping them as Rei received the bouquet, blushing violently, bowing a final time to the crowds, before being steered off by Brooklyn and the interviewer that awaited them with her microphone and a horde of cameras. Rei swallowed hard, following after Kai, never relinquishing hold on his hand as Kai leant in, whispering in his ear what was in store for them, and of the interviewer that stood before them.

 

The Chinese boy sighed, longing for the celebratory ‘night out’ Tala and the others had promised, though realising he’d have to suffer this first. He smiled, taking a seat beside Kai as he heard the woman announce them to the cameras, and what he guessed would be some sports channel or something, and he smiled to Kai once more, the fact still taking a while to settle in his flustered mind. They’d won.

 

 

TBC

* * *

Song: "Fate" by Bleak featuring Ana Johnsson - not mine.


	37. Bitter Victory

 

_Bitter Victory_

_~Thirty Seven~_

 Music throbbed in his ears, his hips swaying rhythmically though unconsciously, as he felt himself swallowed in that elated bliss that had surrounded him since his and Kai’s victory. The anxiety coursing through him after the interview had subsided somewhat – Kai had done most of the talking (much to the interviewer’s dismay), and though he still held a swell of worry for what might become of their vaguely answered questions, even that seemed to be lingering at the backmost part of his mind.

 

 Rei’s fingers tapped absently on his half-empty glass, listening to his friends’ voices over the pounding music, which he found not all that bad considering…

 _American music isn’t as bad as they say,_ he thought positively, recalling his old-fashioned mother’s unfathomable opinion, _I quite like it…_

 

 “Rei-baby, I _have_ to say,” a tipsy Tyson began blearily, Kevin and Kai rolling their eyes in advance. “If I weren’t so deeply in love with Maxie’s delicious derrière…” A flushed Max coughed, feigning irritation, to which Tyson smirked, wrapping a drunken arm round his lover’s shoulder and nuzzling him daftly. “And his personality,” he added, “Then I’d have to spank that nice little ass of yours – you looked _hot_ in that dress – tutu – err…thingy…”

 

 Rei blushed furiously, averting his eyes and fiddling absently with his shirt, whilst Kai glared at their drunken friend. Laughing nervously, Tyson smirked. “Just kiddin’, Kai – but you can’t deny he’s the most sensual thing on the ice – much of the _tushy_ shaking,” he punctuated his sentence with a small jig on his seat which his companions preferred not to look at.

 

 The slate-haired-boy took a sip of his drink, still eyeing Tyson dangerously. “Not true,” Kai disagreed, “I’m the best looking.” Rei’s flush faded, though his ears were still crimson, feigning annoyance at his lover’s teasing.

“What?!” Kai smirked, “I’m sexier than you! I wore a smutty cat outfit for you and everything!” Tala choked on his mouthful of Bacardi-and-coke in his shock, Kevin patting him sarcastically on the back. Kai raised a brow at his lover’s words, ignoring Tala.

“And as cute as you were as a little _pussy_ , I don’t need costumes to make me look good – mine is a natural beauty.” Rei growled under his breath.

“Natural beauty?! What’s natural about all that crap you put in your hair – on your face – those dodgy blue triangles natural are natural are they? I’m the cutest!”

“Please,” retaliated Kai, still teasing, “I am _so_ much prettier than you are.” Rei thumped him hard on the forearm, making Kai wince, rubbing it soothingly.

“Then why am _I_ the ‘camp’ one?” The slate-haired-boy held back a laugh, his left hand manoeuvring to Rei’s jittering thigh under the table, stopping the little dance it seemed to have begun all by itself.

“Because I’m _‘bigger’_ than you,” he answered quietly into his drink. This time Tyson fell back off his stool with laughter, Tala’s mouthful of alcohol squirting out his nose in his amusement, meaning when Brooklyn returned from the bathroom, his brow quirked in confusion.

 

 “Oh Brook,” Tala spluttered, laughing himself silly, his voice still slightly nasally from his _nose-full_ of drink. “This stuff is magic – it brings out all kinds of fun. You have to have one!”

“Yeah,” agreed Tyson from his place on the floor, “Or six.” The older man smiled.

“No thanks boys, I’m off now anyway – I promised Zeo I’d be back to see him afterwards.” Tyson groaned, scrambling back onto his seat.

“Come on, Brooklyn, you’re the winning couple’s coach – if you don’t get sloshed at the victory party what’s the reward?” Brooklyn rolled his eyes, still smiling, before looking to Kai and Rei.

“The job has its rewards,” he answered, still looking at them. “Anyway, I’m off; see you guys tomorrow for dinner – right?” Rei frowned, watching Brooklyn pull on his jacket.

“Dinner?”

“Yep – the dinner at eight, round the _Hiitachiin Plaza Hotel_ – the one _your_ mother is paying for.” Rei swallowed hard.

“My mother? As in…she’ll be there too? Watching me eat?” Brooklyn nodded, laughing, Kai petting the obsidian-haired-boy on his shoulder playfully.

“I like your mother – she’s nice,” said Kai. Rei looked to him disbelievingly.

“Yeah, me too – at a distance. It’s nice to see her but now I’m better she’ll feel no remorse whatsoever in questioning me like a game-show host.”

 

 As anxiety spread across his face, he donned a voice that was intended as an impression of his mother for his next words. _“Are you eating right? Do you bathe regularly? Do you and Kai use a condom? Do you and your friends ever…get up to anything? Are you putting on clean underpants everyday? Oh dear,”_ he mocked horror, hands clasping over his mouth, _“alas, is that a vibrator in your wardrobe?”_ Kai downed the last of his drink, noting that his lover’s leg was jittering again.

 

 “Anyway,” Brooklyn said with a smile, “I’m heading out; I’ll see you all tomorrow.”

“Do you mind if I come to see Zeo with you?” Rei asked, “I feel bad that he’s the only one that couldn’t be there – I’d like to see him.” He suddenly turned to the slate-haired-boy beside him. “That’s okay, right?” Kai merely shrugged.

“If Brooklyn doesn’t mind, why should I? Want me to come and meet you afterwards?” Rei smiled, pressing a kiss to his lover’s cheek as he got to his feet.

“Sure.”

“Let’s go then, Rei, before Tyson starts singing again,” Tyson smiled stupidly at them, as Rei seized the sleeve of Brooklyn’s jacket, allowing the red-head to lead him through the crowded bar.

 

*                 *                 *

 

 The hospital was quite creepy at night.  Under the florescent lighting the pale flooring and walls looked almost as if they were glowing, the dull hum of machines and faint bleeping of monitors sounded from the different rooms they passed. Rei knew why Kai hadn’t come with him and Brooklyn; his lover had spent far too much time in hospitals, and since had developed a great hatred of them – he always seemed so quiet whenever he _did_ come to see Zeo with him, evidently pondering all of those miserable moments wondering if Wyatt would ever wake up – whether _he_ would ever wake up.

 

 Brooklyn smiled warmly at the green-haired-boy that was propped up in bed by a mass of plush pillows, Zeo eagerly sitting up a little straighter and seizing the remote control off the side to turn off the television. “Hey,” he said, smirking as Rei dropped himself on the bottom of his bed, the red-head kissing his forehead gently before taking a seat in the chair beside him. “Geez, Rei, that was fantastic!” Rei returned the smile, not really sure what to say. “I mean gods, you did better than when you _could_ see. I was watching you with my mouth open – there was a puddle of drool on the sheets, the nurse had to clean them up!” The raven-haired-boy laughed, relishing in the brisk return of his friend’s usual chirpy attitude, though for some reason, he believed it wasn’t totally reflecting of Zeo’s inner-emotions. _There’s something wrong,_ he thought absently, listening to Zeo and Brooklyn’s conversation intently, as if it held all the clues as to what his friend was really thinking.

 

 “Did you manage to get to the bathroom yourself today?” Zeo snorted, evidently trying cover up his initial embarrassment.

“No…I… my right knee is broken where the car hit me, and my left ankle is fractured. They can’t tell if any nerve endings have been hit so…they’re not sure if I’ll ever regain the use of my legs – but even if I do, it won’t be now.” Rei could hear the misery weighing heavy in his voice, a short silence falling over them.

 

 “And the worst part of it all is,” Zeo said, breaking the deafening quiet with a false cheer, “I can’t even have a wank! Keeping a teenager trapped in here without a place to release all those dirty urges is the worst form of torture.” Rei would have laughed if he didn’t know that the green-haired-boy was just trying to cover up the horrifying truth of his situation. “My left arm’s been set though – apparently it’s the _one_ thing that’s healed quickly.

“What about your scars?” Rei asked, fiddling absently with the bed sheets. “Have you still got loads of scars?” Zeo wet his lips nervously, realising that unlike himself, Rei still carried luminescent scars that though he couldn’t see, he hated with a passion.

“No…” he replied quietly, not sure how Rei was going to react, “Not really, a few from surgery, but…no major ones – My shoulder is all healed up now – good as new.” The abrupt change in subject roused a little sigh from the Chinese boy’s lips, he was really trying to stay positive – if only for his friends sake, but it was so hard. _I was so happy a moment ago, why do I feel so crappy all of a sudden?_

 

 “I’ll go get us some coffee,” Brooklyn said at last, getting to his feet slowly, leaving the two younger boys alone.

“What’s wrong Zeo?” Rei asked quietly, glancing up the pale blur that was his friend.

“Keh? I was gonna ask you that – you’re the one that’s getting all emotional when you’ve just thrashed-”

“-Listen, there’s something the matter, and you don’t have to tell me what it is but you have to tell _somebody_ ,” he paused, waiting for Zeo to say something, but he didn’t. “You above anyone should know you can’t keep your worries all bottled up ins-”

“-Hiro’s court appearance has been moved to tomorrow…” Rei frowned, not really understanding.

“-But he was supposed to have it weeks ago! Back when Kai and me decided to start practising for the performance remember – I thought it got postponed until-”

“-I haven’t got a clue what they’re playing at – but they keep postponing the court date – now they’ve brought it forward all of a sudden. The green-haired-boy lowered his eyes to stare thoughtfully at the bedding. “Hiro and his lot are up to something, and whatever it is can’t be good.”

 

 Again, a long silence permeated the air, neither knowing what to say – if they should say anything at all. At last, however, Zeo wet his lips agitatedly, braving speech once more, though this time, his voice was shaky, and broken. “You…you will come won’t you? We have to testify to the court and…me and Kai…we’re gonna have to say stuff about us…about Wyatt…” He gnawed his lip, looking to his friend, searching blank eyes for some sort of support.

 

 “Of course I’ll go,” Rei answered, moving round to pat Zeo’s hand gently – not wanting to hurt him by embracing him. “I have to testify anyway – he molested me in hospital after causing the accident that _blinded_ me,” he tried to sound casual – to sound strong, though his voice wavered slightly, betraying his true fear at having his personal life dictated to the court tomorrow. _Tomorrow_ , he thought, only just realising. “Crap, we’re all supposed to have dinner with Mum tomorrow-”

“-It’ll be over by then – the hearing begins at 10:00am,” Zeo interjected miserably. “I suppose at least we can get it over with, instead of having it nag at the back of our minds over Christmas.” Rei blinked. He’d almost forgotten it was even _December –_ much less Christmas.

 

 “Hey, Zeo?”

“Hm?”

“Will you be out by Christmas?” His only answer was a small shrug. “Surely you would be able to qualify as an out-patient by then? Then you could come home for Christmas.” Zeo snorted.

“Yeah, and spend it in that dorm with Tyson,” he muttered, not pleased by the idea.

“Don’t be an idiot – you could stay with me,” came a voice from the hall, Brooklyn walking back in, attempting to hold three cups of coffee without spilling any. “Rei’s mother is staying over the Christmas period, and has agreed to assist my horrible cooking skills to make a dinner for you all. Rei smiled as he took his coffee, whilst Zeo blinked up at the red-head in slight disbelief.

 

 “I suppose,” Zeo finally replied, sipping his own drink carefully, trying not to let too much of his excitement to seep into his voice. “I’d have to ask if I’ll be well enough though – I’ll ask tomorrow.” He sounded a little less dejected at last, and Rei smirked, tapping his fingers idly on the sides of his polystyrene cup. Though despite the happy notion that they might all be able to spend Christmas together, the foreboding thought of the hearing tomorrow morning continued to lurk at the back of their minds…

 

 Suddenly, Rei jumped, shocked from his pensive daze by his phone ringing loudly around his neck. Zeo hissed at him playfully. “No cell-phones in the hospital, Rei,” he joked, watching Rei flip the phone open and press it to his ear.

“Hey Kai, what’s-”

“-Tyson has passed out and Max and Kevin are trying to carry him back to the dorms,” Kai said rather quickly.

“Yeah-”

“-And Tala is starting a fight with some blonde girl who was eyeing-up Kevin.” Rei frowned slightly.

“Kai are you drunk?”

“No.”

“Then why the hell are you-”

“-And Rei?” The Chinese boy paused, not liking the suddenly all-too critic tone to his lover’s voice.

“What?” he asked, uncertain he wanted to know.

“Jin and Maya are here.” Rei blinked.

“What?”

“Jin Sakamoto and Maya Sashimi – from the figure skating championships.”

“Oh,” said Rei, remembering at last, “Yeah, so?”

“They recognised me… They know, Rei.” Rei looked up, staring blindly at Zeo, his face suddenly very pale, hoping his assumption at what Kai had meant by that was wrong. “They want to speak to us – both of us, right now… They know you’re not a girl, Rei.”

 

TBC


	38. Discovered

_Discovered_

_~Thirty Eight~_

 Rei felt panic beat rapidly against his chest as the crowds pushed past him, the only thing keeping him in the right direction being Brooklyn’s hand around his wrist, dragging him swiftly towards Kai, and towards what he was sure would be the next problem in their lives. _Just when I thought my world might start to look up…_

 

 Zeo had been startled though understanding of their abrupt departure, and they had assured him they would return to tell him what had happened after everything was sorted out. _If everything is sorted out,_ Rei’s mind corrected. The crowds dissipated slowly as they neared the bar that they’d been at with the others, and sure enough, Kai was leaning casually against the wall beside the double doors, arms folded across his chest, though his eyes flickering across the small crowds, obviously searching for a sign of them, until, he found them. He straightened up, marching over to Brooklyn and Rei, who stopped before him. “Rei, are you okay?” Rei nodded, not really sure why Kai sounded so anxious, but then again, wasn’t he just as worried?

“I’m fine, but what about-”

“Maya and Jin are inside – the others had to get Tyson home but…Tala stayed,” his words held such unexpressed gratitude to his friend, who was more of a brother to him, that Rei found it hard to decipher just how scared Kai was of what was about to happen.

 

 The Chinese boy allowed Kai’s hands to guide him into the bar for the second time that evening, blind eyes staring in every different direction, disorientated by the booming music. But as he sat on his stool once more, anxiety caught in his throat again, and he found himself staring sightlessly at the blurs of colour that he assumed was Maya and Jin. “Nice to see you, Rei,” came the familiar girl’s voice, though now it was weighed down by what seemed to him a more _solemn_ tone.

“Hey,” the Chinese boy answered, his voice barley audible. He felt the soothing presence of Kai’s hand on his under the table as he took his seat beside him, and smiled nervously.

“You don’t have to look as if you’re on trial,” Jin chimed in, regarding the couple closely. “Let’s just cut to the chase.”

“Fine with us,” Brooklyn answered from his place on his feet behind Kai, Rei and Tala (who had remained oddly quiet).

 

 “We know Rei isn’t a girl,” Maya said simply, “We found it out-”

“-What did you do? Pin a detective on my just because we _beat_ you?” Kai asked bitterly.

“We didn’t make a point of finding out,” Jin argued, “We were _told_ -”

“-Jin,” Maya stopped him, regarding him with an odd look. “We can’t tell them who, if we do we’ll-”

“- _Mai_ ,” he reasoned carefully, gaze never wavering from her eyes, “we agreed, that what we are doing is right, and that we have to help them.” Hesitantly, she nodded, a lingering trace of fear flitting over her features.

 

 “It’s well known that a man called Hiro Kinomiya is to stand trial tomorrow at last, on the grounds of potentially rape, assault and murder. It’s all over the papers,” Maya said carefully, her dark, lustrous gaze flickering between the four men standing opposite her and Jin. “Someone contacted us right before the performance tonight.” She wet her lips nervously, looking over her shoulder as if whoever it was would leap out of the crowds and attack her.

“He told us that the ones charging this _Kinomiya_ guy is you,” Jin continued for the girl beside him, who was watching Kai very carefully, almost warily…

 

 “So what if it is?” Tala asked, speaking suddenly after what seemed like a long time of silence.

“We don’t – it’s not that it’s just…” Once again, Maya’s voice faltered, leaving Jin to continue.

“Look, this guy asked us to leak the scandal in the press conference held afterwards – but we didn’t-”

“-Don’t act like you did us a favour,” Kai spat.

“Kai, don’t-”

“-No, Rei, it doesn’t matter. The whole world will know tomorrow when the press get a hold of the story after the case.”

“Regardless,” Jin interrupted, slightly terse with Kai’s rudeness. “This guy, he said he wanted us to tell the committee Rei wasn’t a girl – and then he err…” His gaze lingered over Kai as he found his words once more. “He was most particularly sure to tell us not to mention his name to you.” The slate-haired-boy’s brow creased in a frown, feeling Rei’s fingers clench around his own.

 

 “Who was it?” Kai asked, not entirely sure he wanted to know the answer. “What was his name?” There was a short pause, in which Jin and Maya held each other’s gaze, before the girl answered.

“Voltaire,” she said nervously, “Lord Voltaire Hiwatari.”

 

 Immediately Kai and Brooklyn looked to each other, an evident fear in their gaze, Tala and Rei wallowing in the silence between those at the table, the noise of the surroundings crowds and music seeming to dissipate from their hearing, and each of them looked lost.

“Hiwatari?” Rei asked, “Does that mean-”

“-Yeah,” interrupted Kai, “It means that my Grandfather is back.”

“And proving himself as the conniving scheming bastard he’s always been,” Tala muttered nastily. Rei gnawed his lip. He’d heard the story of Kai’s past, along with his grandfather’s vile hand in some of its most miserable parts. He knew this man was cruel and powerful, but he couldn’t understand why he was doing this and why it was now.

 

 “At least he is also proving himself as _stupid_ as he has always been,” Brooklyn said, causing those at the table to look to him in confusion. “Both competitions that you and Rei have entered together have had strict rules, and I know them all by heart.” Rei only felt his confusion increase. What was he talking about? “There is no rule in _those_ competitions that say that the couple must be boy-girl. And they will not make a fuss out of it, for fear of being prosecuted for prejudice against homosexuality.”

 

 Everyone at the table stared at the red-head as if in awe of some god-like attribute he’d expressed in those words. “Brook,” said Tala softly, still not able to tear his eyes away, “You are like – okay I can’t think of a good enough word but _that’s_ what you are and I need to piss!” Rei frowned, Kai rolling his eyes and shaking his head as the obviously fairly drunk auburn-haired-boy stumbled to his feet, walking in the complete opposite direction to the men’s room.

 

 “I’ll just err, go help him with that,” Brooklyn muttered in Kai’s ear, “I don’t think him using some poor unsuspecting student as a toilet will be good.” With that, the man hastened from their side, moving swiftly through the crowds after Tala.

“World I give you the two men that saved my life,” Kai announced to no-one in particular, gesturing in the direction the two had disappeared overdramatically. “Geez, no wonder I’m gay…” Jin smiled uncomfortably, though pushed his untouched drink across the table to Kai.

“Here, you probably need this more than I do.” Kai smirked, seizing the shot glass and downing the contents swiftly.

 

 “So…” Rei began in a quiet, barely audible voice, unsure why everyone now seemed so at ease with everything, _especially_ in light of what continued to loom over their heads tomorrow. “What do we do now?” Kai set his glass down, squeezing his lover’s hand gently. And Rei realised then, in that fleeting lack of words, that Kai was afraid, the slightly shaking hand that tightened around his own in an attempt to hide that quivering told him just how horrifying tomorrow was for him. He recalled how hard it had been to talk about Wyatt, about himself and Zeo in front of _him_ , what must the prospect of having to reveal his innermost horrors to a courtroom and eventually the press? _And now his grandfather appearing and sneakily helping Hiro? No wonder he wants to get smashed…_

 

 “Well,” answered Kai at last, getting to his feet, “you are going to wait here with Maya and Jin and _I_ am going to get more alcohol so I can drown my sorrows.” Rei huffed his disapproval, earning a smirk from his lover. “Maybe just douse them then just for tonight, so I don’t go crazy with worry. I can pass out happily on the sofa.” Rei couldn’t suppress a smile as he felt Kai’s presence leave his side. Kai had certainly changed since the first time he’d met him. He’d usually brood, or scream in order to hide what he considered a childish emotion – fear.

 

 “Tomorrow,” Rei heard Maya offer him softly her hand touching his across the table top to draw his sightless attention towards her. “We’ll be at the trial – we’ll testify that Voltaire is trying to cover this _Kinomiya_ guy’s crimes in spite of Hiwatari. We swear it.” Rei nodded, teeth catching his lower lip in anxious apprehension of the following day.

 

*                 *                 *

 

 The first of the sun’s rays found Rei not only up, but also fully dressed in a suit and tie, and having _eventually_ won the battle to keep his rebellious hair to lie flat. _If they’re gonna make pre-judgements about me they may as well do it when I look half decent_ , he thought, sipping his coffee as he continued to listen to the particularly uninteresting woman on the radio, permitting Kai his lie in. Rei had awoken long before the sun had risen, and after what seemed like forever of lying awake and troubled in the dark, he’d got up, and started getting ready. He couldn’t bring himself to wake Kai up as well (not only because he was sure to have a throbbing hangover after all that drink) but also because he’d looked so…so peaceful – untroubled. The undisturbed ease upon his features was something that would shatter the moment he awoke and recalled what the day had in store, and he did not want to be the one to do that. _I’ll leave that to the alarm clock,_ he thought sadly, long fingers tracing absently over the scarring on his face.

 

 _If only I could see how bad it is,_ he wondered distantly, his mind completely straying from what the day had in store. _Is it so selfish to want to be able to see Kai again – to see myself?_ His hands moved over the small flower arrangement he knew his mother had left there the previous day at breakfast. _I want to see more than just these shitty blurs of colour!_ He got to his feet, bitter tears stinging the backs of his eyes.

 

 “You look pretty good in a suit.” Rei jumped, spinning towards the voice that he recognised as Kai’s.

“Bastard,” he growled, blinking back tears defiantly, “you scared the crap outta me.” Kai smirked, moving towards him. An almost too-delicate touch flitted across his cheek, before brushing his bangs gently back from his eyes. The warmth of those fingers caressed his skin, musky smell of sleep still clinging to his body.

 

 “You _can_ cry you know? It’s not anything shameful.” Rei turned his face away from that hand, moving back slightly.

“If there’s nothing wrong with it then why do you never let me see you do it?” Kai frowned slightly, sensing something wrong, and knowing exactly what it was.

“I know you’re worried about today-”

“-Yeah-”

“-And I’m asking you not to be. I…I never…I _can’t_ cry because I’m supposed to protect you, to be strong for you, and if I start I…” he paused, biting his lip slightly in apprehension of his following words. “I won’t be able to stop…”

 

 It was Rei that noticed – no _felt_ something wrong in those words this time, and he sighed heavily, feeling the weight of suffocating anxiety press against his chest. “Did you ever think that maybe sometimes the word ‘love’ means we’re supposed to protect each other?” Rei asked exasperatedly, sitting back in his chair. “I can handle humiliation in public, and after _my_ high school experience I can pretty much withstand people talking about me – telling lies about me and _judging_ me. I’m not scared of today; I’m scared of what you’ll do.” Rei stretched out his hand, and Kai stared down at him for a moment, before taking it. “I may not be able to watch what the world around us does to you anymore, but I know it hurts you, and if Hiro doesn’t go down today I know how much you’ll suffer, and I guess – I don’t know, I’m afraid of it.”

 

 A heavy sigh shuddered past Kai’s lips, as he took the seat beside Rei, never relinquishing his hold on his hand. “Weren’t you the one who was oh so sure everything was going to be alright?” Kai asked. Rei gnawed his lip, the tears brewing once more, and how he hated how easily they met his eyes, and how quickly they began to threaten to fall and betray his emotions.

 

 “I had to say that it’s like in the manual,” he answered, fingers brushing across Kai’s lips to feel the smile he knew would be there.

“I think you were right.” The Chinese boy frowned.

“That there’s a manual?”

“No, moron,” Kai answered, rolling his eyes as he flicked his lover on the nose lightly. “That everything is going to be alright. Hiro, and high school and – and getting hit by that car – there all bad things that happen and, I can’t explain why but I just…I feel like eventually, even if its not now, things are going to be okay.”

 

 Rei raised a sceptic brow. “You’ve been spending way too much time with Zeo,” he said.

“Evidently you haven’t been spending enough-”

“Kai?” The Slate-haired-boy looked to him once more, whether Rei could see him or not.

“Hmm?”

“Thanks, for failing _dismally_ at making me feel better.” That smirk played across his lips once more as he headed over to the kettle, readying to fill it with water.

 

 “Don’t mention it, I seem to have a way with words,” he said with a smile that Rei could hear in his words. The Raven-haired-boy turned in his seat to face the direction of the sound of water refilling the kettle noisily.

“ _‘Way with words’_? You couldn’t tell me you loved me until I was in a coma!”

“I have a way of _screwing up_ my words,” he concluded, tipping a coffee-beans into his mug in preparation for the hot water.

“And a way of screwing your roommate up the wall – and everywhere else in the dorm.”

“A very witty play on words from the literature student,” Kai teased gently, pouring the boiled water in the cup and stirring in the milk.

“Ouch Hiwatari, that sounded almost a tad condescending.” The Russian boy turned to face Rei wearing a bemused expression as he moved to sit down with his cup of coffee.

“Rei, I bet you couldn’t even name the literary term _for_ a play on words.”

 

 An amusing silence fell between them, in which Kai tapped his fingers absently on the side of his mug, awaiting Rei’s words.

“I missed that lesson because you were screwing me-”

“-You practically have to use the term every lesson-”

“-Well you screw me a lot,” Rei retaliated, the banter distracting him from the initial worry for some time at least.

 

 Whilst waiting patiently for Kai to cease last-minute fussing with his hair, Rei nearly leapt out of his skin when the silence was disturbed by a harsh rapping on the door. His heart still thudding in his chest, Rei gathered himself to his feet, approaching the door, and pressing his ear against it carefully. “Who is it?”

“It’s Brooklyn,” called the voice he recognised, and he opened the door, allowing the red-head in. “Thought we’d get there a little earlier, that is, if Kai has finished ‘ _prissying_ ’ up his hair.” Rei smiled as he closed the door behind him.

“How did you know?” he asked.

“Rei he’s always been the same, maybe it’s the homosexual in him but ever since puberty gel and that damn blue-face-rubbish has been his trademark look.”

 

 “I do _not_ prissy up my hair,” Kai argued as he marched into the room, tightening his tie haphazardly around his neck and straightening his shirt-collar. “And in case you haven’t noticed I haven’t painted any of that _‘blue-face-rubbish’_ on today.”

“Good,” Brooklyn answered as Kai seized up his coat, forcing Rei into his as he hurried them out of the door. The red-head didn’t ask what the boy’s hurry as when they were so early still, he knew him far too well to have to ask. _This place must have been suffocating him all morning, with one thing and another…_

 

TBC


	39. Courtly Animosity

 

_Courtly Animosity_

_~Thirty Nine~_

 Rei felt a mild numbness caress his fingers as they drew to the end of the car journey that had seemed to go on and on forever, the numbness a result of Kai’s never wavering grip on his hand, a silent conveyance of just how terrified he was of what was about to happen. Kai had told him he’d been a coward before, when Wyatt was alive, had told him he’d always relied on Tala to protect him, and yet he sat beside him now, the strongest person he’d ever met. He’d defended him whenever the harshness of the world set upon him, and fought his battles for him, taken the blows that were meant for him. Rei could not _imagine_ what Kai would be like the way he’d described himself.

 

 “Are we there yet?” he asked Brooklyn with false cheer, in an attempt to crush the atmosphere that seemed to have settled between those in the car. It failed, and Kai didn’t even seem to comprehend that he’d even spoken, so lost in his saddened daze as he continued to stare out the car window, the hard rain pelting down against the glass, evidently determined to lower the mood even further.

“Nearly,” Brooklyn replied, “it’s just at the end of this street – see the big building there?” Evidently Brooklyn had failed to realise that from Rei’s position – even if he hadn’t been in the back two seats in the seven-seated car, even if it hadn’t been pouring down with rain – he couldn’t see anything. _The stress of the court case has made his memory addled,_ Rei thought, blinking blind eyes hard. They’d been stinging since this morning, like he had water in them, and he rubbed them again, determined to stop the stinging-itch, though it persisted.

 

 One of the seats remained empty – Tala having gone in a separate vehicle with Zeo – who had been released from hospital that morning, though still needed police protection due to his frailty and the fact that he was one of the chief plaintiffs within this case. Originally Brooklyn had wanted to be the one to go with Zeo, but being the only one remaining able to drive; he’d accepted that was impossible.

 

 Perhaps it was best that Rei couldn’t see the courthouse. As they got out of the car, the boys were faced with a large building, paved with cold, almost opalescent concrete. Like a mock of roman architecture it stared down at them, a foreboding aura swamping them, and arousing an almost unconquerable quaver in their blood, Rei felt Kai’s hand tighten around his once more, leading him forwards with the others, and towards the steps. Though no sooner than they had approached the building, than a hoard of frantic lights flashed rapidly, voices carrying across the boys’ ears like a thousand swarms of humming bees, each screaming questions at them as crowds pressed upon them, Rei’s heart hammering in his chest, spinning slightly to try and gather what was going on, as a painful claustrophobia seized him, and panic erupted in the pit of his stomach.

 

 “W-What’s – What’s going-” his words seemed drowned by the din, and he clenched Kai’s hand so tight he feared the pressure might alone render it useless. But he felt enclosed, trapped, and unsure of what was happening, and Kai wasn’t saying anything – or at least he couldn’t hear him. What was happening? He felt something seize his shoulder and he couldn’t help screaming as he was tugged from Kai’s grip, completely separated from his friends. Blind eyes squeezed tightly shut against the disorientating mass of blurred colours flitting in and out of his vision. His hands clapped over his ears, they were screaming at him, but he couldn’t understand what they were all saying when they spoke at once. “KAI!” he called out, throat slightly raw from the volume. “KAI-”

“STOP IT!!!” The words were screamed and yet barely heard above the countless voices, that sudden faltered, all falling silent.

 

 Rei felt arms capture him about the waist, drawing him firmly against the stranger’s side, and he felt his breath causing his chest to heave heavily, the panic still assaulting him as he waited for the person to speak once more, so he could decipher whether it was Kai or not. “How _dare_ you?! Didn’t you realise he couldn’t _see_ anything?! He could have fucking died of a panic attack you assholes!” Rei flinched slightly at the raised voice directly in his ear. _Yep, that’s Kai alright, could never mistake his dulcet tones…_

 

 “Mr Hiwatari?!”

“Mr Hiwatari?” The voices began again, though not quite to the volume as before, and he could still distinguish the different words and voices.

“What do they want? Is the court case really that popular?” Rei asked in his lover’s ear, and he felt Kai shake his head.

“No. There’re here to speak with us.”

“Us?”

“Didn’t you gather from Maya and Jin last night that my grandfather is working against me again?” Rei frowned thoughtfully.

“You mean he’s told them?” But before Kai could answer, what he guessed was a microphone was thrust into their faces by the closest brave reporter.

 

 “Mr Kon, Mr Hiwatari, is it true you two are in a relationship?” Rei blinked blindly, whilst Kai’s face remained expressionless.

“Yeah,” Kai answered.

“Please Sir,” came another voice, “what kind of relationship?” Rei could only guess that the slate-haired-boy would be wearing that sarcastically disbelieving expression. Wouldn’t he be surprised to find out how right he was?

“Homosexual. Boyfriends. Gayish-fag-type-lovers,” he responded, turning both himself and Rei back to catch up with Brooklyn and the others, but the reporters followed.

“Please, Mr Hiwatari, since when did you make a habit of lying to the figure-skating competitions?”

“I kept nothing from them, they didn’t ask if Rei was a girl, therefore I didn’t lie,” he said coldly, gesturing for Brooklyn to open the door. The Red-head did so, and they piled inside, and the reporters (although forbidden from entering) continued to photo every step they took, even as they stepped through the solid oak doors.

 

 Rei breathed a heavy sigh of relief as the double-doors closed behind them, Kai continuing to lead him alongside the others. “We’ll have to deal with them eventually,” the Red-head divulged, “But not today. Let’s just take one thing at a time.” Rei nodded his agreement.

“Where’re Zeo and Tala meeting us?” he asked.

“Stairs,” warned Kai, and Rei prepared his next footsteps for the staircase, clinging to the banister with one hand, and Kai with the other.

“They’re not meeting us as such,” Kevin said, his voice strangely laboured with anxiety, “we’ll see them in court when they testify. We’ll meet up properly with them afterwards outside the courtroom.”

 

 The remaining journey to the courtroom was silent. Thankfully it was being held in a room only one floor up, so they managed to avoid climbing the countless flights of stairs, but when they came to entering the doors to the court, Rei was for once glad he couldn’t see. He could feel the intensity of the many gazes upon him and the others, feel the judging stares, and if he saw those expressions he was quite sure he’d lose his nerve and beg Kai to let him wait outside. But he couldn’t, he had to be here, and be strong for Kai, just like Kai had been for him.

 

 They paused in the aisle between the two seating areas of the ‘public area’ as it were. Kai gripped Rei’s hand once more, and Brooklyn, Max, Tyson and Kevin moved over to the public seating near the front behind the plaintiff bench. Kai inclined his head slightly to whisper what was happening in Rei’s ear, the whisper informing him where Tala and the others were sitting, and where Zeo was sitting with their lawyer – at the plaintiff bench, before the judge’s podium and beside the defendants bench – where Hiro and his defending lawyer sat, looking far too smug for their liking.

 

 Rei drew in a shaky breath as he sat between Zeo and Kai, who followed close behind him to sit beside their lawyer at the appropriate bench, feeling the eyes boring into the back of his head. He knew they were watching them, but he didn’t care, he’d have to push it to the back of his mind right now, this was about Kai and Zeo, and the others, not his foolish insecurities. “Hey, Zeo?” he whispered almost inaudibly in the green-haired-boy’s ear. “I suppose you’re in a wheelchair right?”

“Yeah,” Zeo answered thoughtfully. “I can’t walk, but at least I can go home after this. I _never_ liked hospitals and I certainly don’t now.” Rei allowed a forced smile to twitch at the corners of his mouth.

“Damn, I’ll have to get you a Christmas present now,” he muttered teasingly, and Zeo smiled sadly.

“Yeah, no excuses… I want a new sex toy…” The silence fell stagnant, only interrupted by an occasional cough, or the doors opening and closing when another person entered the room.

 

 “Zeo?” Rei asked once more, his voice a mere whisper. “Why am I on the plaintiff bench?”

“We’re the ones that Hiro has directly assaulted,” Kai answered softly, before Zeo could do so himself. “He molested and attempted to rape and kill you – therefore you’re a victim of him too.” Rei gnawed his lip.

“I don’t have to pay do I?” Kai elbowed him gently, but before they could say anymore, the doors opened once more, though a fair few footsteps resounded off the wooden floor this time.

 

 “All rise for the honourable judge!” Called a terse voice, and they all stood up hastily.

“Forgive me if I don’t stand,” muttered Zeo under his breath nervously, making Rei struggle to keep a straight face, “only I can’t…” This served to lighten the mood, at least for that brief moment, until the judge had evidently been seated, and they took their seats once more also.

“Kai? What’s the judge like?” Kai took a moment to respond to the whispered question, but when he did, it was slightly quivering.

“Average, I suppose… Homosexual intuition tells me she’s a lesbian though…” Rei smiled despite himself, crossing his fingers hopefully under the table that the hearing would go well, though he was sceptical that luck would be on their side with Voltaire Hiwatari on their opponent’s side.

 

 “Everyone present?” the female judge muttered abruptly, and a voice to his right (evidently their lawyer) answered “yes”, and the woman cleared her throat importantly. Immediately she leapt into a technical speech containing a lot of words he didn’t understand. Evidently concerning the reason for their being here, and obviously it was necessary protocol, as the small man off to the side was typing madly in shorthand on the electrical typewriter before him. Rei swallowed. His mother had told him some cases were more formal and old fashioned than the others – trust them to be the ones _lucky_ enough to get a nice, difficult _more_ formalone. He had to resist from growling with irritation under his breath. The day had _not_ started well…

 

 “The plaintiffs Kai Hiwatari, Zeo Zagart and Rei Kon are all present?” The three boys nodded. “And the Defendant, Hiro Kinomiya is being charged with the alleged crimes of-” The woman paused, consulting the papers before her, looking down her thin nose at the words through her glasses, “-molestation and attempted rape of Rei Kon. Breaking and entering – Assault with Intent to murder Kai Hiwatari, Zeo Zagart and Rei Kon. The rape of Kai Hiwatari, rape of Zeo Zagart-” She paused for a moment, and during that moment Kai snatched his hand under the table, thumbs brushing against the backs of his hands distractedly before she continued, her dark eyes surveying them briefly. “-rape at knife-point of Zeo Zagart – Rape of a minor which at the time was Zeo Zagart – The prostitution of a minor Zeo Zagart’s unwilling body – Drug-induced rape of Zeo Zagart and the rape, assault and manslaughter of Wyatt Bennett.” She finished by setting down the papers with a small sigh, before setting her hands on the podium before her, fingers interlocked as she regarded Hiro for a moment.

 

 “That is a mighty long list of offences, Mr Kinomiya. How do you plead?”

“Your honour, he pleads guilty but that his mind was unstable at the time-”

“-I am asking Mr Kinomiya,” she cut across the tall man that was Hiro’s lawyer. “How do you plead?” Hiro sat up a little straighter, his face strangely devoid of that usual, snide smirk.

“Guilty – but to an unstable mind.” The Judge arched her delicate brow.

“You plead insanity?”

“No Ma’am,” his lawyer interjected, “he pleads that due to certain circumstances, the balance of his mind was disturbed. And since a great deal many of the listed crimes occurred whilst he was still a minor-”

“-Objection!” All eyes in the court turned to the plaintiffs’ lawyer, who had shot up to his feet. “The authorities have agreed that the case of those crimes have remained open and unsolved, therefore there should be no qualms with his age – his was of age to take responsibility for his actions even then in some countries, and yet he has continued to repeat them – _Over_ age of 18, and indeed, even now, when he is 20 years of age.” The Judge nodded her understanding, not looking at anyone in particular.

“Indeed, thank you, Mr Dickenson, please be seated.” The little balding man nodded, resuming his seat beside Kai. _Geez this guy’s good,_ thought Rei distractedly, as the Judge spoke once more.

 

 “Mr Dickenson, please take the floor, as it were.” The  man gathered himself to his feet once more.

“Indeed, thank you your Honour. We have heard the defendant’s plea. I trust that these crimes are not in chronological order?” He was speaking to the plaintiff bench, and all three boys shook their heads, whilst Kai voiced their answer.

“No, they’re not.” 

“Indeed, in that case, which of the plaintiffs would be the first alleged victim?” Rei wanted to shrink into his seat at that moment, when all eyes moved to himself, Zeo and Kai, he didn’t know how his friends were dealing with it, or if they too wished only for the ground to open up and swallow them, but they at least, _sounded_ calmer than he _felt_ …

 

 “I am,” answered Zeo quietly, arms retreating to the wheels of his wheelchair in preparation for what he _knew_ he was about to say.

“I understand. I will ask you to take the stand, if you feel able,” at this point he turned to the jury, “I ask the ladies and gentlemen of the jury to note that Mr Zagart’s health is of concern currently – he I still recovering from a most recent accident that is one of the alleged crimes of the defendant.” The Jury nodded, the nearby security staff assisting Zeo up the small ramp to the ‘stand’ where he was to speak.

 

 “Mr Zagart, do you swear to speak nothing but the truth before our Jury today?” He nodded slowly, eyes never raising from the wooden rim of the stand he was in.

“Yes, I swear.”

“Very well,” he said, as softly as his elderly, gruff voice could manage, “in your own words, please tell us your account of the crimes that were allegedly exacted upon your person by Mr Kinomiya.”

 

A deafening silence fell, smothering the courtroom in a heavy atmosphere that felt hard to breathe in. Zeo gnawed his lip slightly, wondering where to begin…

 

 “When I was around 14…No…maybe a little older – but around that age,” Zeo began, slightly shaky, voice weighted with mortified misery, “I met Hiro at our middle school. He was two years older than me… He er… _seduced_ me – I didn’t like it at first because I was…well I liked girls, or thought I did… Anyway, in the end, he’d never leave me alone. He’d be everywhere I went, he’d try and pass it off as devotion but…it was nothing short of _stalking_ me. But eventually…he made me believe him.” At this, the green-haired-boy’s eyes glistened with bitter tears, and he still refused to look at anyone in particular. “I believed that everything that he made me do was my fault – never his.” A short silence fell over him, until the Judge, with a kind of cold sympathy in her eyes turned to him fully. When Mr Dickenson next spoke his voice gentler than before.

“Can you tell us what kind of things he forced you to do?” Zeo wet his lips slightly, finally raising his eyes to look at Hiro, frowning slightly as tears shuddered down his cheeks, a disturbing image to anyone who had known the once always cheerful face.

 

 “Rape…no not just rape – torture, sometimes physical, sometimes mental – it doesn’t matter, I still have the scars from both.” Again, Dickenson turned to the Jury once more, as a security member moved along before them, handing out envelopes which they all opened.

“These are photographs the authorities took both recently of the scars and at the time the actual wounds were first made.” As the Jury examined the ‘evidence’ Zeo lowered his eyes to the woodwork once more, evidently losing his nerve to look at Hiro any longer. “Mr Zagart, please continue when you are ready.” Hesitantly, Zeo nodded, and hesitantly he complied with the request.

 

 “He would film and picture me, and post the pictures on the internet… Sometimes he’d ‘rent me out’ to other people against my will – that was still when I was underage.” He glanced briefly to the Judge, then to his friends, beginning to chew his lip once more, the action more than a nervous one – but an attempt to hold back more tears at the harsh memories that were all too fresh in his mind.

 

 “And when he got bored of torturing me like that, he started taking it out on my friends-”

“-Which friends? Can you be specific which of your _current_ friends you refer to?”

“Y-Yeah,” he answered nervously, “Rei Kon and Kevin King hadn’t moved here yet – I only referred to Kai Hiwatari, Tala Ivanoh, Tyson Granger and Max Tate.” Zeo explained  about the events that followed, even offering all he knew about the events that lead to Wyatt’s death, though the question that fell from the Judge’s mouth next caused his friends to stare at him in disbelief, and Hiro’s smirk to flitter across his lips briefly…

 

 “And could you please tell us, around when did the most recent sexual assault on your person occur?” Zeo, at this point looked to Kai and the rest of his friends, before averting his shamed gaze.

“On the night of the ‘Gay pride’ gathering – when Hiro first turned up again – he followed me back to my room and…he…” he broke of, the tears reawakening, and his friends exchanged glances, whilst Brooklyn looked horrified, it was obvious to _anyone_ – Zeo hadn’t told any of them. “…He told me I needed to be reminded and he…he tried to… But when I said no he… He took out a knife and er…that’s when he…” He paused there, unable to any further, and Rei bit his lip, defiant not to cry for his friend’s pain, considering it a small mercy when the judge thanked him, excusing him from the stands when Hiro’s lawyer declined the offer of questioning him.

 

 Kai followed onto the stand next, relaying everything coldly to those listening when Mr Dickenson asked the questions – nothing said that Rei had not already heard, though the words still pained him as much now as they had on that night when Kai had open his heart to him, only the agony was worse now, upon sensing his lover’s anguish at reliving it all to a crowded courtroom. This time, however, Hiro’s lawyer _did_ question further after Mr Dickenson had finished. His voice was harsh and grating, words picking at Kai’s story, at Kai himself, often bringing in irrelevant information regarding his past and relationship with Wyatt, and even Rei now. At one point Rei’s hands gripped the arms of his seat, praying to anyone who would listen that Kai didn’t lose his temper and launch himself at the man when he all-but accused him of ‘over-dramatising’ his story for the sake of his fame.

 

 Mr Dickenson was thorough, he called each of them to the stand, for some reason Brooklyn was called next, then Tyson, then Max, Kevin and Tala, neither offering much more _facts_ though certainly reiterating what a horrible impression of Hiro they had, and how much pain they’d suffered directly or indirectly at his hands. Hiro’s lawyer questioned them all, a sickening coldness to his expression as he seemed to disregard the case as much as possible, merely questioning them on Kai as much as possible without arousing suspicion from the Judge, who didn’t know what he was doing – didn’t know who he was working for – _Voltaire_.

 

 And then it came to Rei, and he questioned first this time, and it took all Rei had in him to not scream at him at the top of his lungs. _‘How would you define your relationship with Mr Hiwatari?’ – ‘How do you find Mr Hiwatari’s temperament?’ – ‘How long have you and Mr Hiwatari been in the habit of deceiving official figure skating judges?’_ These questions were _irrelevant_! Why wasn’t the judge calling him on it? “And how did you…lose your sight, Mr Kon?” he asked sleekly, sweeping back dark, greasy hair from his face as he spoke. Rei gritted his teeth – he snapped.

 

 “Hiro was hurting Zeo and when we tried to run we got hit by a car! I notice you don’t ask me about when he tried to rape me in the hospital! I notice you don’t ask me about how he’s ruined the people I love’s lives or how it’s his fault I can never see their faces again! Ask me, go on and _ask_ me a question that’s actually _relevant_ to the case instead of gathering information on Kai for Voltaire Hiwatari!”

“SILENCE IN THE COURT!” The murmurs that had erupted at Voltaire’s name immediately dissipated, and Rei remained silent also, heart thudding rapidly, and his breathing a little hastened.

 

 “Mr Kon, please keep your voice down. And Mr Kravanov, please keep your questioning relevant.” When neither Rei nor Kravanov spoke, the Judge’s gaze flickered to Kai briefly.

“Mr Hiwatari, your biological parents’ names, what are they?” Kai stood up politely upon being addressed, watching the woman with slight confusion as he answered.

“Dmitri Kai and Anoushka Hiwatari, Your Honour.” At this, murmurs burst through the courtroom once more, the Judge’s voice raising to silence them. But when they were silent, she turned to Kai again.

“And therefore am I correct in saying that your mother, Anoushka Hiwatari is the daughter of Lord Voltaire Hiwatari – meaning your Grandfather?” Kai’s eyes widened upon realising what she was getting at – that his grandfather’s lawyer, Kravanov was _assisting_ him secretly.

“Yes, Your Honour but it is public knowledge that the man hates me due to me inheriting the entirety of the Hiwatari estate, money and industry.”

“Yes,” she said thoughtfully, not taking her eyes off him, “I am aware…”

 

 “Mr Dickenson?” The woman asked after a few moments of silent contemplation. “Any further questions for this witness?”

“None, your Honour.” At this Kai’s eyes widened, and by the look on Zeo and his friends’ faces, they shared his view. Why didn’t _their_ lawyer want to improve their chances by questioning Rei _properly_. The old man, obviously sensing their bewilderment turned to Kai, examining his expression as a security man helped Rei back to his seat.

“What’re you _doing_?” Zeo whispered harshly. The Old man smiled.

“There is nothing for Rei left to say that could help us anymore than what he has already said…”

 

 

TBC

 

* * *

 

 

A/N: Firstly, I didn't know what Wyatt's surname was in the anime - cant remember if he even had one and i couldnt be bothered to go check lmao. So my friend SerenityBaby made one up for me ^_^ Also, I think in America (where this story is set) doesnt the age for being able to be tried as an adult vary depending on states? I'm british so not sure. Anyway, I am going on you can only be tried as an adult in court when you're 18, and since Hiro was sixteen when he started being a git he was therefore too young to be tried as an adult, K? 

Shigure-san

x chuu x


	40. Poetic Justice?

_Poetic Justice?_

_~Forty~_

 Rei’s fingers tightened on the arms of his chair, hearing Kai tap his own fingers on the tabletop impatiently. They seemed to have been there for hours. The jury had long since departed from the stands, and it felt like forever since they’d disappeared through a small door to the right of the courtroom to discuss and decide upon their verdict. The Chinese boy could now safely describe what being in hell frozen over felt like – this was it. Sitting there with dozens upon dozens of gazes weighing down on him and his friends, judging and loathing him for simply existing as he was.  He had learned since coming here just what a cruel place the world was, not just where he’d lived, but everywhere. He’d though his disastrous high school experience would be the most torture he’d be forced to endure, but he’d been wrong, so very wrong. _This_ was the worst. The waiting, and waiting in silent misery at the possibility of Hiro getting away with everything he’d done.

 

  _He won’t get away with it,_ Rei thought, closing blind eyes against the courtroom to shut out the unnaturally bright lights. _He can’t, it’s not...it’s not fair, he **has** to be put away, he **has** to…_

The lights felt like they were burning his eyes. He blinked, trying to rid them of the itching sting that had plagued him since that morning. Was there something wrong? He blinked a few more times, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand, the movement failed to relieve him of the pain. _What’s happening to me?_

 

 “Are you alright?” The soft whisper from Kai’s lips fluttering against the shell of his ear soothed him slightly, and he nodded, an almost disembodying warmth spreading through his fingers, travelling the length of his arm up into his chest as Kai caught his hand under the table, smoothing gentle caressing of his fingers over the obsidian-haired-boy’s palms. Rei nodded in answer to his lover’s question.

 

 “It’s almost over,” Kai assured him, “I’ll take you to buy one of those cappuccino thingies you love so much.” Rei smiled absently, nodding once more.

“Have what you want,” Zeo muttered, his voice evidently straining to keep the panic from overwhelming it. “Personally, after this, I’m having beer – and lots of it.” Rei smirked, managing all-too-easily to suppress a half-hearted laugh.

“Thought you were a vodka man?” Kai asked absently, staring at the members of the jury that had begun to pour back into the courtroom.

“Yeah,” Zeo answered, also distracted by the people re-entering the room, “I like sweet things, not that foul stuff. But beer is the stuff of celebrating…”

“Celebrating what?” Rei asked, but he turned to his friend when he didn’t answer, awaiting his response.

 

 Eventually, the green-haired-boy seemed to find his voice, though this time, it was even more laboured and unsure than before, all of the brisk sarcasm gone from the moment before, when he was attempting to hide his anxiety, now it sounded as if he’d lost all will to do so.

“Celebrating that ass Hiro being locked up for almost forever and pillaged by his hairy inmates…”

“Poetic justice really-”

“-Shush!” Kai silenced them both as the judge resumed her place, and bid Hiro to stand.

 

 “Approach the bench,” the woman ordered stiffly, and Hiro did as he was told. Kai was glad to see that smirk had receded from his features, though a look of smug assurance was still present, and that irritated as well as unnerved him. “Hiro Kinomiya, the jury have reached their verdict.” With these words, the security member from her right handed her a blank envelope, and without tearing her eyes from the all-too-confident man before her, she open it, holding the paper within before her. It was only when it came to reading the verdict out that she looked away from him, stern eyes perusing the words silently through her glasses, until she raised her gaze to the courtroom, beginning to read aloud…

 

 “On the grounds that it had taken place four years ago, Mr Kinomiya will not be charged with sex with a minor, nor the Drug-induced rapes of Zeo Zagart, or any other sexual assaults on Mr Zagart that have not happened within the last year. He will also not be charged with Breaking and entering on the grounds that the door was not locked, and he did not steal or damage anything.” Rei’s heart almost stopped in his chest, and he felt Kai withdraw his hand from his grip, Zeo’s breathing laboured, as if he was hyperventilating – panicking.

 

 “ _However_ ,” the judge continued, and all panic and misery that had begun to settle to Kai, Rei and the others halted I their assault of their minds, everyone in the court staring at her, awaiting her continuation. Even Hiro’s confidence had faltered, as he stood there, under the jury’s mercy and the judge’s watchful gaze. “The jury argues that the defendant, Hiro Kinomiya is guilty and will (for certain reasons) be charged for:

_The multiple molestations and attempted rape of Rei Kon,_

_The Assault with intent to murder Kai Hiwatari, Zeo Zagart and Rei Kon,_

_The rape of Kai Hiwatari_ -”

“But that happened when he wasn’t of age-”

“-SILENCE IN COURT!” Her voice carried over Kravanov ‘s, quieting those who had begun to murmur amongst themselves. “That decision was made since it had lasting effects that nearly lead to suicide. Remain seated!” Security enclosed around Hiro as he began to shift nervously, evidently on hand in case he decided to do something stupid…

 

 “Continuing with the charges,” the judge persisted, “- _The prostitution of an unwilling minor’s body,_

_The rape at knife point of Zeo Zagart,_

And finally… The _rape, assault and manslaughter of Wyatt Bennett_.”

 

 For a moment, everything was still. But then a relieved sigh seemed to pass over the courtroom. Just as Rei turned to speak with Kai, the Judge spoke once more. “Adding on the remainder of your previous sentence you were let off of on condition of parole – which you violated – you will serve a fixed 19 years imprisonment. And when you complete your sentence you will be placed under a restraining order – you are not to come within a 15 mile radius, nor contact the following people in any way: Zeo Zagart, Kai Hiwatari, Rei Kon, Brooklyn Knight, Tala Ivanoh, Kevin King, Max Tate, Tyson Granger or the parents of Mr Wyatt Bennett. Is that understood?” Hiro did not respond, but no one in the room could be mistaken of how painfully clear on everything he was. “Court adjourned.”

 

 The boys got to their feet along with everyone else in the room. Tala hurdled the bench and leapt at his friends, capturing Kai in a backbreaking hug. Brooklyn manoeuvred round them, his hand pressing gently on Zeo’s shoulder.

“Are you alright?” Zeo nodded, casting an uneasy glance at Hiro who was being handled through another door, though was watching Zeo carefully. Still watching the person who had once tormented him every moment of his existence, the green-haired-boy leaned up into the kiss Brooklyn offered him, the burden of his inner misery lifted from him. “Let’s go?” Brooklyn nodded.

“Come on boys, we can celebrate outside.” The small group, together louder than the entire bustling court made their way towards the doors, Rei’s arms wrapped around Kai’s forearm in an attempt to steady himself.

 

 He was smiling, uncontrollably, there was no way to avoid it. An elated relief had seized him and refused to let him free from its grasp. Yet that prickling sting still buzzed under his eyelids, and he blinked determinedly, though it did little good. Suddenly, he stopped. Kai had stopped. A man from the public seating who was standing to leave had grabbed the slate-haired-boy’s arm gently. “Excuse me, Kai Hiwatari, am I right?” He seemed nervous, though Kai felt a sickening anxiety run up in his throat; he recognised the man and the woman beside him, and if Rei could see them, he would have recognized them also.

“Y-Yeah,” Kai said unsurely, “And you’re…Mr Bennett, right?” Rei frowned, the name taking a moment to register. _Wyatt’s parents?!_

 

 “Indeed, I…I was just-”

“-It’s alright,” Kai cut across him, “I understand how you must feel, having to find out about your son in this way. I should have come to see you beforehand, but I-”

“-It’s alright, son,” the woman pressed herself in front of her mild, greying husband, her sweet face framed by curly brown hair as she clasped both Kai’s hands in hers firmly. “We understand. And we…we’re upset it happened this way but… You loved our boy so much, I couldn’t have asked for more than that in the person he loved more than anything.” Kai choked on the tears he defiantly held back, and Rei chewed his lip in an attempt to hold back his own. This woman, he just wished she’d let go of Kai, and stop making him uncomfortable – and (as selfish as it sounded) stop making _him_ , _Rei_ recall how much Wyatt had meant, and most likely _still_ meant to the person _he_ loved more than anything.

 

*                 *                 *

 

 “So that went a lot better than I thought it would,” Tala admonished, sipping his drink as he leaned back into his chair at the café they all sat in, one arm round a defeated Kevin’s shoulders. Kai smirked as he rejoined their table after getting himself and Rei drinks, setting the steaming mugs before them.

“Yeah, they asked me to go see them some time. I guess I’ll go after Christmas…”

 

 “What drink is this?” Rei asked, hoping to distract his friends and Kai from the topic of Wyatt and his parents anymore tonight. It was painful, and he knew he shouldn’t be behaving or thinking so selfishly, but he needed to forget Wyatt, or else all he would fall prey to his own bitterness and dwell on the love that Kai would forever hold for Wyatt, that seemingly far eclipsed the slate-haired-boy’s love for him. Kai turned to him, just in time to see Zeo stick the tip of his forefinger into the foam on top of the hot beverage, pressing it to Rei’s nose. Rei flinched in surprise, though smiled as Zeo answered him.

“Sweet cappuccino with extra foam, cinnamon and chocolate sprinkles.”

“That’s my drink,” Rei chanted, seizing the mug carefully, after wiping the foam of the end of his nose.

 

 “You know people underestimate the power of a bunch of gay guys,” Tyson said hazily, cheeks flushed slightly, betraying the fact that he was already on his way to being seriously drunk. “Hiro’s behind bars with his new friend Benny the weightlifter and Hannibal Lecter, and me, well I’m _drunk_!” Max smiled goofily, the rest of them snorting into their drinks.

“Hey guys?” The whole attention of the small little group was on Zeo, and he smiled, the expression one he hadn’t worn it what seemed like forever. “I’m sure you’ve been wondering the same as I have, what a wheelchair bound drunk looks like.” An incapacitated Tyson leapt at the chance to show himself up once more.

“Hell on wheels,” he answered. “You won’t be able to roll along in a straight line.” Kai rolled his eyes, setting down his glass.

“And on a more solemn note than Zeo spinning around in circles-” he paused to allow his friends their momentary giggle at his words before continuing, “-you really shouldn’t be drinking that stuff when you’re still on meds.” The green-haired-boy pushed his drink over to Brooklyn petulantly, swapping it with his lover’s diet coke and sipping it with a still sulky look on his face.

“Spoil my fun…”

“Yeah, but you’ll be alive anyway…”

 

 “And on that note!” Tyson announced getting to his feet. “I am going to go piss in a bush, and then to home I shall go. See ya tomorrow guys.” Rei waved feebly in the general direction of Tyson’s voice, trying not to laugh at his friend’s drunken insanity.

“And also on that note,” Max added with a silly grin, standing. “I better go home with him. Drunk Tyson’s all very funny but I think he forgets the dangers of it sometimes too. I’ll drop by tomorrow, okay Rei?” The Obsidian-haired-boy nodded, and the blond turned to Zeo. “I promise not to let him spew up all over your floor.”

“Thanks, appreciated,” Zeo muttered sarcastically, “Of course I wouldn’t care if I was allowed to get drunk too!” Kai failed to react to his friend’s sulking. Max giggled.

“Okay, well I better go catch him,” he stopped a moment, casting his gaze over at Kevin and Tala who were dancing with a small crowd over by the jukebox, and then back to those at the table, “Tell Kev and Tala I’ll see ‘em tomorrow. K?”

 

 “Kev’s sure got over his will to not have his gayness announced, hasn’t he?” Rei shrugged in answer to Kai’s question.

“Wouldn’t know,” he replied blandly, “Can’t see him.” Kai frowned, taking his lover’s hand under the table, and dragging up, and over towards the corner of the room that bore the booming jukebox, the blaring music reducing their chances of being overheard. “What?” Rei snapped, trying to yank his hand free of Kai’s grip, though failing.

“What the hell do you mean _‘what’_? Why’re you being an ass?!” Rei flinched. It was the first time Kai had yelled at him in anger since he’d lost his sight, and it was… _startling_.

“I haven’t done anything!”

“You’ve been distant all night, what’s your _problem_? Aren’t you happy Hiro’s got what he deserved?”

“How can you _ask_ me that? I suppose you’re forgetting that he tried to rape me as well?” Kai frowned at the tone of his lover’s voice, the grip on his hand slacking before he released him, still staring at him with an odd expression of misunderstanding crossing his features as Rei began to turn away from him.

“Is this because you still can’t see?” The obsidian-haired-boy stopped, spinning to face Kai swiftly, regardless of whether he could see him or not.

“YOU are the one who can’t SEE anything if you think that’s what’s upsetting me! You – you just don’t…I know I’m wrong, and that’s why I don’t want to talk about it – so _drop_ it, okay?”

 

*                 *                 *

 

 The door to the dormitory swung open, smashing into the wall with a resounding crack, and Rei stormed in, regardless of his lack of sight, kicking off his shoes and moving over to the kitchen area, as Kai entered the dormitory, closing the door behind him carefully. “Rei?” No answer came, as Rei fumbled in the fridge for a drink, ignoring Kai completely. “Rei you haven’t said a word since the café now will you please _say_ something?!” The obsidian-haired-boy paused. How could he say what was wrong? How could he tell Kai how he felt every time Wyatt was mentioned? How could he say aloud that he was jealous of a dead person? It felt stupid and selfish and he hated. If he said it aloud… he just couldn’t…

 

 “Rei I’m talking to you!” But his words fell on deaf ears as Rei moved over to the couch. “Rei-”

“-I’m blind not deaf,” the Chinese boy muttered exhaustedly, raising his hand holding the can of coke to his mouth to drink, jumping in shock as Kai’s hand shot forwards, swatting it from his grip. The can crashed onto the floor, contents spilling out onto the wood flooring and fizzing with a crazed hissing, as Rei opened still sore, blind eyes, staring at the blur that was Kai before him. “I was going to drink that-”

“-Well you can damn well answer me first!”

 

 A hurtful silence fell over the two. Rei’s fingers knotted into the throw over the sofa, and he felt Kai’s weight press gently into the seat beside him, the slate-haired-boy’s own finger interlacing with his own, squeezing his hand comfortingly, in an attempt to draw the reason for Rei’s weird behaviour out of him. But it wouldn’t work, Rei was determined of that. If nothing else, Kai wouldn’t know how bitter and selfish his mind had suddenly become…

 

 “Kai?” A soft glistening concern flickered across crimson eyes as his lover broke the torturous silence, voice weighed down with some inner misery he had hoped would have left him by now.

“What is it?” Rei bit his lip for a moment, before moving forwards, his stomach pressing gently into Kai’s hips as he nuzzled his head against the slate-haired-boy’s throat, grazing his lips over his chin.

“Do you really love me?” Kai frowned at that. Rei’s hands came about to caress his cheeks, and soft panting breaths brushed against his skin. “I mean…do you love me _now_ , more than anything?”

“You mean more than Wyatt, right?”

 

 A chill assaulted his spine. So Kai knew what was wrong? Rei bit his lip harder still, a small bead of blood crying from the wound as a result. One of those callous fingers he adored moved to stroke the blood free from his lip, flickering over the corner of his mouth slowly – thoughtfully… He was a bad person, he didn’t deserve this affection that he was showered with. He didn’t deserve Kai…

 

 “Kai,” he breathed, tears pricking at the backs of blind eyes, irritating them more, “I – I’m so sorry, I-” He was cut off by warm lips smoothing over his own. Open mouthed kisses dropped down his throat, drawing confused little sighs from his lips as skilful fingers smoothed his shirt free from his heated body allowing them to caress scarred skin absently, as he drew him to his feet.

“Rei?” The husky voice drew him from his state of momentary bliss and back into confusion, and the obsidian-haired-boy frowned slightly.

“Kai I’m sorry I-” Once again he was silenced, a finger pressing to his lips to quieten him.

 

 Kai’s freehand moved over to the stereo behind him, without looking flicking the button to play the CD that had been left in there from before, never once tearing his gaze from the boy before him. “Come and dance with me.” It was a statement not a request, though strangely, Rei had no intentions of refusing…

 

TBC


	41. Anywhere

 

_Anywhere_

_~Forty-one~_

_Kai’s freehand moved over to the stereo behind him, without looking flicking the button to play the CD that had been left in there from before, never once tearing his gaze from the boy before him. “Come and dance with me.” It was a statement not a request, though strangely, Rei had no intentions of refusing…_

 

 Kai’s gaze never left him as he approached, closing his stinging eyes against the cold dark blurs of the room, and almost falling forwards into Kai’s embrace. The Chinese boy’s arms came to wrap around the Slate-haired-boy’s body, pressing himself against him so that their chests touched, and the steady breaths that fluttered past Kai’s lips played with the tendrils of ebony hair at Rei’s forehead. They embraced and their breath mingled as hips twisted to meet each other in the slow movements as the vocals whispered into his ears.

 

**‘Dear my love,**

**Haven’t you wanted to be with me?**

**Dear my love,**

**Haven’t you longed to be free?’**

 

 “Kai?” he asked almost silently, but Kai didn’t answer. “Kai, I-”

“-If there’s anything in this world that I understand it’s how much I love you,” he responded distantly, pressing gently against the nape of Rei’s neck with his hand, so that his lover’s cheek rested slowly against his shoulder, nose pressing gently into his neck. “Isn’t that enough for you?” Rei gnawed his lip thoughtfully.

“I…I just… I feel like I’m still sharing your heart with Wyatt… And I know…I know it’s not your fault but I…I can’t help it, you know?” There was no verbal answer, but the kiss that press gently into his hair spoke louder than words at that moment. Kai, somehow understood his selfish jealousy. But he was only human after all.

 

**‘I can’t keep pretending that I don’t even know you and**

**At sweet night**

**You are my own**

**Take my hand’**

 

 Hips rocked together and bodies intertwined, as everything else fell away, and Rei fell into the warmth surrounding him. “Wyatt was everything to me,” Kai divulged, his words almost inaudible over the music, and Rei felt his heart begin to sink, “a _long_ time ago. And now, the only thing I want is you. Take everything else away, I don’t _care_ about those things – your scars,” he paused to caress his lover’s cheek with his own, closing his eyes also as he breathed in the scent of his hair. “I don’t care…as long as you’re here, and I can see you, and touch you, and hold you….nothing else matters…”

 

**‘We’re leaving here tonight**

**There’s no need to tell anyone, they’d only hold us down**

**So by the morning’s light, we’ll be half way to anywhere**

**Where love is more than just your name’**

 

 Kai’s arms came to rest against the small of his back, supporting the obsidian-haired-boy’s body as he arched backwards; Kai’s form followed his, lips moving downwards to caress his collarbone, pressing against his chest through the fabric of his shirt, before drawing him back up again. Slender legs snaked around Kai’s, climbing up his body slightly until strong hands came about, supporting his backside and lifting him until Rei’s hips fell flush against Kai’s abdomen, unsteady breathing steaming over the Russian boy’s ear. A husky cry escaped from Rei’s throat, as he grinded his growing arousal into the stomach he was pressed against, his arms wrapped around his shoulders to hold himself up, the dance becoming something a much more forbidden…and erotic.

 

**‘I have dreamt of a place for you and I,**

**No one knows who we are there.**

**All I want is to give my life only to you,**

**I’ve dreamt so long I cannot dream anymore,**

**Let’s run away I’ll take you there.’**

 

 Rei’s hips swayed slightly, even as they clung to Kai, pressing his forehead against his lover’s, not able to meet his eyes, though making every other bodily contact possible. He leant in, planting a gentle kiss to Kai’s nose, before delving lower, flicking his tongue gently over his upper lip, and sliding his lips over those he adored so. Open-mouthed kisses fell over the Slate-haired-boy’s face, and Rei cried out between embraces, leaping back in for another, and delirious with the need for it.

 

**‘We’re leaving here tonight**

**There’s no need to tell anyone, they’d only hold us down**

**So by the morning’s light, we’ll be half way to anywhere**

**Where no one needs a reason’**

 

 Slender fingers dawdled with the waistband of his jeans, drawing a shallow raspy sound past his lips as cool air caressed his flesh, his lower body quite vulnerable to more than the cool darkness of the room. The Chinese boy dropped to his feet, stepping out of his jeans, seizing his shirt and tugging it free of his body haphazardly, tossing it aside to be forgotten, before grabbing Kai desperately once more, crashing his lips sloppily against his in a frenzy to touch and be touched.

 

‘ **Forget this life come with me don’t look back you’re safe now.**

**Unlock your heart drop your guard no one’s left to stop you.**

**Forget this life come with me don’t look back you’re safe now.**

**Unlock your heart drop your guard no one’s left to stop you now.’**

 It was like clinging to life back in that hospital bed – clinging to the one dim light in the darkness, and knowing what lay in wait if you should let go. At that moment, on this night, he would have done anything, gone anywhere if Kai had asked it of him. This was the person he loved, and whether man or woman it was the person who protected and sheltered him from the world he’d come to think so harshly of, helping him to realise what a truly beautiful place it truly was, if you dared to look deep enough, past the initial pain.

**‘We’re leaving here tonight**

**There’s no need to tell anyone**

**They’d only hold us down**

**So by the morning’s light**

**We’ll be half way to anywhere**

**Where love is more than just your name’**

 

 Rei tumbled backwards, his back colliding with the side of the plush couch, his backside pressing ardently onto Kai’s lap as the slate-haired-boy leant forwards, trapping him between his heated body and the furniture. Rei gasped as teeth grazed gently down his throat, pausing to suck tender flesh there, the pulse racing beneath the assault with the hungry adrenaline that slaughtered all rational thought, reducing him to another man’s mercy, but Rei didn’t care. Some might say when you felt this good you could die happy, but he couldn’t. He was as hungry for more as ever – more of Kai, more of _life_ with Kai and the people he’d come to adore so thoroughly.

 

 The last sounds of the song that seemed to fit them so perfectly died away, voiceless music sounding in the background as Rei felt himself beginning to lose control. “K-Kai!” he gasped, pressing lips to his once more, wrapping his arms around his neck. “Come on, _please_ … I need… I can’t wait any longer.” Kai smirked, placing a final kiss on his lover’s lips, before unclothing his own burgeoning arousal, pressing the weeping head over the entrance, but not pushing into entry. Rei hissed lowly, thighs clenching around Kai’s body, feeling that heated part of Kai teasing him dangerously close to the edge, moistening his clenched sphincter suggestively.

 

 “Do you like it?” The Slate-haired-boy asked. Rei practically purred his response, catching on to Kai’s kinky mood quickly, swaying his hips so that his ass brushed the erection once more.

“Hnn…”

“How much?” Rei flushed, recalling the shy virgin he used to be, in light of what he was about to get into.

“A lot…” Evidently satisfied with that answer, Kai smirked, capturing the slightly bobbing erection in his hand, watching with perverted closeness as the boy’s body arched to meet him, head tipping back carelessly, exposing the long column of pale flesh that was his throat. Unoccupied fingers danced forwards, smoothing over the throat and collarbone, before falling back around to support the arced form carefully.

 

 The swollen flesh in Kai’s grasp pulsed at his touch, begging for further attention, and he could do nothing but comply, upon feeling himself harden almost painfully in response to seeing and touching such heated skin. The hotness seeping liquid fire onto his fingers caused both their bodies to tense in desperate need for release. And his fingertips tugged back foreskin gently, pressing softly into the slight, and Rei seized his shoulders roughly, crying out loudly. “Kai! Please!” Kai leaned forwards, lips a mere hairsbreadth from Rei’s mouth, his hand pumping the throbbing hardness tenderly.

“What is it Kitten?” Rei tossed his head, hands fumbling to try and speed up the thrusts over his seeping cock, though being swatted away by Kai’s insistence for him to beg.

“ _Please_ …I need to come…please…let me come…I really need to...”

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” Rei scowled at him, the expression not nearly as effective with the effects of his pulsing erection evident across his features. “I’ll do you after – come on, _please_ …”

“Don’t you want me to come inside you?” Rei groaned at the sound of those words ushering into his ears, pressing his head hard against the back of the sofa. “Put it in yourself.” Rei nodded distantly, feeling Kai bare his full weight as he gripped his backside roughly, allowing Rei to hold his shoulders for support as he lowered himself down on the hardness that was near-ready to burst.

 

 Kai’s back straightened, leaning his head back as the overwhelming sensations bombarded him, feeling himself stretching around the hot erection might have been the best thing he’d ever felt – the only slight discomfort merely serving to add to the inner fire that threatened to pour from his tip at Kai’s mercy, those frantic thrusts over his cock hastening as Rei began to lower himself up and down over Kai’s erection.

 

 “Let me come now… _please_ … Come on…” Kai smirked once more, leaning in to capture his lover’s lips, plunging forwards into the gyrations of his lover’s hips, feeling their climaxes approach simultaneously, his own climax coating the boy’s insides, shortly after Rei’s spilled over his fingers.

 

 Moments after they lay there in that suddenly uncomfortable and awkward position, Kai raising his hand to his lips to clean to semen off his hand before glancing down at his flushed lover, whose eyes remained closed as he slumped exhaustedly over his lap, chest rising and falling in attempt to regain his breath. A smile played at his mouth, and he leant down, smoothing a kiss onto Rei’s flushed cheek gently. “Put your arms around my neck,” he said softly.

 

 The Chinese boy panted heavily, taking a moment to register the words in his exhausted mind, though eventually circling the taller boy’s neck and shoulders with weak arms once more. He felt his weight lifted and held with a strange sort of security against that warm chest, his head leaning into it tiredly, quite able to fall asleep right there if he’d been allowed. But he felt Kai lower him down onto what he knew to be the bed in their room, the warmth surrounding him letting go and falling away.

 

 “You really are dead-beat after sex aren’t you?” Kai asked with a teasing tone, tugging the blankets up over Rei before climbing in beside him.

“Well you certainly have a lot of energy _after_ ,” Rei responded, still lingering in the blissful daze. Neither was remotely surprised any longer when they leant into each other, the ritual embrace of each other’s arms surrounding them, the smaller leaning against the other’s chest, emitting a soft sigh as he closed still stinging blind eyes against the dark room.

 

 “You never did tell me what you wanted for Christmas,” Rei said suddenly, feeling himself gradually slip away into slumber. Kai smirked, laying a swift kiss atop the raven-haired-head.

“You tied up and ready to be taken,” he breathed in a flushed ear, causing Rei to smile, poking him gently in the stomach in feigned irritation.

“I meant seriously you _ass_.” Kai shrugged, staring into the dimness of the room thoughtfully. Even if he did care about all this ‘Christmas crap’ he didn’t necessarily _want_ anything in any case.

 

 “Come on Kai,” Rei persisted quietly, “Don’t be such a Scrooge.” The Slate-haired-boy laughed at that, squeezing the boy in his arms tenderly.

“Christmas just isn’t something I care about – but if it’ll shut that little mouth I’m sure I can find something I want. Let me think about it.” Rei sighed again, this time slightly more exasperatedly.

“Well hurry up, it’s only a few days until Christmas-”

“-Four in fact,” Kai interrupted, pressing his lover’s softly (though insistently) into the pillow.

 

*                 *                 *

 

 The inconsiderate sunlight stormed into the open curtains, and Kai awoke first, cursing his lack of forethought when it came to the damn early morning sun. He sighed heavily, a small yawn tugging his mouth slightly as he stretched feebly, gathering himself to his feet, body creaking in negation as he made his way over to the window. His palms pressed gently onto the sill, for a moment blinking at the dazzling sunlight, before pulling the curtains shut roughly, and stumbling back into bed, determined to sleep in a little longer – at least until Rei woke up, and judging by the way the slumbering form curled into the warm place he’d left briefly, he guessed (and partially hoped) that’d be a little while yet. He fought to repress a small laugh as he shoved Rei from his space slightly, the boy’s skin warming his now cold body once more as it curled against him unconsciously, nuzzling into his chest and causing a small contented smile to play at the Russian boy’s lips.

 

 Unsure of how many minutes or hours had passed without opening his eyes once more and losing the sleepiness he’d worked so hard to win back from that aggravating sunlight. And so it was that he fell back into a light doze once again, so that when Rei began to stir beside him, he was quite unaware, though cuddled closer to him, his nose touching Rei’s gently.

 

 A soft little whimper sounded as Rei awakening body stretched slowly, leaning further into the comfort embracing him, eyes fluttering open. He stared for a moment, blinking. A surprised scream tore through the air and Rei leapt backwards, rolling off the bed and crashing into the floor, scooting backwards, gaze darting about him. Kai shot up, staring about him in confusion and his brow creasing with a frown as he caught sight of Rei on the floor in a tangled heap – staring back at him. “Kai?” Rei asked, voice slightly panicked.

“Rei,” the Slate-haired-boy answered, getting to his feet unsurely, and coming towards him, never tearing his gaze away. “You’re looking right at me.”

“I know.”

“You can see me?”

“I know.” Kai captured his arms tightly, holding his gaze as he stared into golden depths, not daring to believe that they were looking at him, and actually seeing him.

 

 

TBC

 

* * *

Disclaimer/Claimer:

Storyline mine, title mine, chapter titles mine, characters hat dont feature in anime/manga are mine. Beyblade and its characters belong to Takao Aoki and other people who aren't me. "Anywhere" is performed by Evanescence, and beautiful though the song is it is alas not mine either. I make no money, so dont sue ^_^

 


	42. Line of Sight

 

_Line of Sight_

_~Forty-two~_

 

_“Kai?” Rei asked, voice slightly panicked._

_“Rei,” the Slate-haired-boy answered, getting to his feet unsurely, and coming towards him, never tearing his gaze away. “You’re looking right at me.”_

_“I know.”_

_“You can see me?”_

_“I know.” Kai captured his arms tightly, holding his gaze as he stared into golden depths, not daring to believe that they were looking at him, and actually seeing him._

 “Kai?” Every time the Obsidian-haired-boy spoke the tears brewing in his eyes were evident in his voice, he couldn’t tear his eyes from the boy before him.

“We have to get you to the hospital,” Kai all-but gasped, fingers brushing against his lover’s cheeks gently.

“W-Why?”

“To see what’s happened – to make sure it’s permanent. Make sure… Just to make sure...” Rei nodded, not moving as Kai got to his feet, leaving the room. The door was left open, and he heard his lover’s voice (evidently calling the hospital), and making sure Kai was occupied, Rei stumbled to his feet. His balance wavered, hands clinging to the bedstead as he made his way to the bathroom. He leant against the sink carefully, waiting until he was sure he wouldn’t fall over, before raising his gaze to the bathroom mirror.

 

 He caught his breath, fingers tracing opalescent scars on his body. One interrupted the perfect arc of his right eyebrow, whilst another cut across his cheek. Shoulders, side and legs and he could see where one ran clean across the side of his skull, though this he could tell his hair would cover it when he’d brushed it and stopped it from sticking up in the air as a result of just stepping out of bed.

 

 “Rei, I managed to get an appointment,” Kai’s voice sounded as he entered the bathroom, “if we go now we can – Rei?” The Chinese boy watched his lover’s reflection in the mirror, carefully studying his features.

“I…I just wanted to see…Just….Just wanted to see what I looked like…” Before he even knew he was falling, Kai had caught him, and before he even realised that it was tears that cascaded down his cheeks, Kai’s fingers had brushed over his damp skin, wiping them away, cradling his suddenly vulnerable body in his arms.

 

 Kai shushed the weeping form in his arms, not knowing whether he was crying at what he’d seen in the mirror or because he _could_ see what was in the mirror, either way, he wanted him to stop. He wanted him to be… _better_. “I told you, Kitten. I love you – every part of you. These scars are part of you and I love them to…” Rei nodded, the movement causing the tears streaming from golden eyes to rub against his boyfriend’s chest

“I know I…I’m just…I couldn’t bear it. To have it back today and…if we find out it might not be permanent…it’d be like showing a kid a toy and telling them they couldn’t have it…I…I couldn’t…”

“It’s alright…” he whispered, kissing raven hair carefully. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know what to say. But he needed to get his lover off the floor and to the hospital, before he broke down completely, for what might be no reason.

 

*                 *                 *

 

 Rei’s eyes moved from side to side, following the bright light that was shining in them whatever direction it moved. “That’s it,” a voice said, “Now blink for me.” He did as he was told, blinking, before continuing to follow the trail of light emitted from the torch once more.

 

 “Well,” the doctor sighed, flicking the small torch off and setting it aside, turning to Kai, who was sitting against the wall, crimson gazed fix on Rei, who remained on the examination chair, legs swinging slightly as they hung off the edge, unable to reach the floor.

 

 “It seems that the medication we prescribed combined with his body’s natural healing has allowed him to regain his sight.” At Kai’s confused expression he turned to Rei once more. “Your balance may be a little off-kilter for a few days while you readjust to your senses, Mr Kon. But judging by your scans and your reactions I see no reason why you shouldn’t be back to normal by the time your classes continue.” A Wide smile stretched across the boy’s features, and he hopped off the chair, moving over to Kai as quickly as his currently unstable body permitted.

 

 Kai gathered himself to his feet, arms moving to capture Rei’s as soon as he’d reached him, steadying him as if he were afraid any minute now he’d fall.

“ _‘Medication’_ ,” he repeated, staring at the doctor. “I don’t remember you telling me he was on any medication besides pain killers.”

“Indeed, however, it was at Mr Kon’s wishes, and indeed he is entitled to patient discretion. They were tablets and eye drops to attempt to restore the damaged nerve-endings in his brain – in other words medication that would repair his inner wounds and hopefully give him at least a little of his sight back. But it appears that he has managed to make a full recovery. There will be scarring, and I would advise no strenuous physical activity for the next few months but otherwise, please see the nurse outside for your prescription.”

 

 “You could have told me…” Kai mumbled, almost inaudibly, Rei’s arms still wrapped around his as they descended the stairs of the hospital, beginning to head down the street. Rei’s gaze fell over him once more. Ever since this morning, he couldn’t tear his eyes away. This was what he’d wanted. For so long he’d just wanted to be able to see Kai, to watch this very petulant sulking become evident on his face, and the way the light that managed to escape the masses of snow-clouds overhead toyed with each strand of dual-coloured hair. He had everything he could ever want for Christmas, and Kai’s sulking only made him happier.

 

 “I didn’t want you to get your hopes up,” Rei admitted, still smiling as he tore his gaze from his lover in favour of staring at the sky overhead. “The doctor said even if I tried it there was only a 36% chance of me recovering fully… I guess I’m one of the 36,” he laughed, the noise wiping the majority of that scowl from Kai’s features.

 

 The high street was bustling, people busying along the snow-covered pavement, nothing but Christmas shopping on their minds as women bossed their partners in and out of stores, their arms full of brightly coloured packages, no one minding where they stepped or who they bumped into. But Rei just smiled. This – seeing all of this, no matter how much it irritated some people, only made him smile even more – because he _could_ see it.

 

 “Come on!” Rei suddenly said excitedly, stopping Kai and dancing in front of him, his face alight with a glee similar to that of a small child. “Take me somewhere – _anywhere_. I want to see stuff!” Kai frowned.

“Like where?”

“I don’t know,” The Obsidian-haired boy shrugged, “a museum or park or a bar mitzvah! I don’t care! Come on!” Kai yelped as his boyfriend seized his arm, dragging him up the street. He sighed as he pursued Rei into the nearest shop, he could tell this would be an exhausting day, and somehow, he wasn’t bothered by that at all. But he had something he wanted to do, and that something involved keeping it a secret from the excited boy standing before him…

 

*                 *                 *

 

 Impatient heels kicked hard back against the legs of his stool as he stared around at the bar he’d found himself in once more – the very same place they’d been before, the night before Hiro’s trial. He was beginning to realise just how much of Tala’s time in particular must have been spent here, since the tipsy red-head knew everybody, and the bartender kept staring at him suspiciously, as if preparing for the boy to do some sort of elaborate and dangerous trick.

 

 But Rei was fascinated with everything around him. It was loud and busy and dozens of bodies struggled to get to the bar or the dance floor, but the music blaring into his ears, that caused the floor to hum with the power of it only lit a fire inside him, the adrenaline pumping through his veins. It wasn’t as busy or as overwhelming as a night club, and there were no flashing lights that might damage his newly healed senses, so this celebratory outing with his friends was perhaps not scary or overpowering, more…revitalizing! He found his golden gaze casting frequently to the dance floor, energetic limbs itching to dance but stuck kicking against his chair slowly, waiting with his friends at the table – waiting for Kai to join them.

 

 “Oh come _on_!” Rei growled. “Where _is_ he?” Brooklyn smiled, patting Zeo’s shoulder affectionately as he spoke.

“Don’t worry Rei, he’ll be here. I rang him before we came in. He’s just got something to do first.” This did nothing to cease Rei’s impatience, and he merely stared at the dance floor once more as the music flooded into his ears.

 

 Kevin watched his friend’s gaze wander there (not for the first time since they’d been here), smiling as he set down his glass after taking a swig from it.

“What, you want to be like those two dorks?” Kevin asked, gesturing to an incapacitated Max and Tyson who were bouncing all over the dance floor in a way that mocked dancing and everything it stood for, laughing whilst falling over each other’s feet.

 

 Rei sighed, toying with the tassel of dark hair at the ending of his braid absently. “I just want to do things that teenagers are _supposed_ to do – while I can,” he explained thoughtfully. Zeo laughed.

“What, you mean before you get hit by another car?” Rei stared at him.

“Technically I got hit by the black ice and the concrete – _you’re_ the one that went flying into the windscreen.” The comment only caused Zeo’s smirk to widen as he sipped his drink.

“Yeah, and what a dive,” he joked, their gazes turning to Max and Tyson as they bumped into some poor couple, who were luckily just as drunk as they were, and took notice.

“I’ll er…just go save our friends, and our reputation,” Tala announced, getting to his feet.

“From what?” Kevin asked. The red-head gestured to the barman staring across the room at them.

“From the evil bartender,” he replied, before weaving into the crowds in Max and Tyson’s direction.

 

 “Still as bossy as ever,” Kevin muttered, not as quietly as he thought, so that everyone at the table with him looked at him as he took another gulp from his glass.

“I can relate,” the Obsidian-haired-boy sighed heavily, flicking one of the empty sugar sachets (that Max had already emptied) across the table. “Kai’s always such a domineering _ass_ …” Zeo snorted, choking on his drink.

“Don’t you mean _‘he always dominates your ass’_?”

 

 Rei scowled at his friend. “If you weren’t an invalid I’d smack you in the arm.” The boy merely laughed, setting his drink down.

“Kit, if I weren’t an invalid I’d be able to get from this damn chair to the toilet by myself.” He laughed again, but Kevin offered him a disapproving look.

“Zeo, you shouldn’t joke about things like that…”

“Oh dry up Kev,” Zeo insisted. “So I’m in a wheelchair and may never walk again – so _what_?” The lilac-eyed boy continued to frown.

“ _‘So what’_? So doesn’t it bother you that you’ll never be able to live alone, or do _anything_ for yourself?!”

 

 Zeo leaned back into his chair, squeezing his lover’s hand gently that lay in his lap, his voice quite serious when he next ventured speech. “I never was much of an independent person – I _hate_ being alone… And as for never being able to do anything for myself, there are still things I can do, everything else Brooklyn or you guys can help me with – that’s what having friends are for, am I right?” Kevin scratched the back of his head irritably.

“That’s not it – of course we’ll be there for you but I just can’t see _how_ you can be so _relaxed_ about it?”

 

 At this point Zeo sighed once more, leaning forwards ever so slightly, so that his elbows rested on the table-top. “Well you tell me how I can be so ungrateful and disrespectful of this second chance when despite everything else I’m still alive?!” His voice was strong, empowering – and _right_. “I’m still alive when other shave died, so surely that is something to be happy for?” There was no answer from the people around him. Perhaps if Rei had had time to respond he may have – having been in a similar position to Zeo himself, but a gentle hand on his shoulder caused him to turn, crimson eyes that currently burned with a mysterious fire he found himself slightly apprehensive of, staring down at him.

 

 “Hey,” said Kai taking what had been Tala’s seat beside Rei, leaning over to place a kiss on his boyfriend’s cheek. “Sorry I’m late.” Rei, opening his mouth to respond, found his words cut short as Tala returned to their table.

“Hey, move your butt, Kai,” Tala teased. Kai smirked, seizing his boyfriend around the waist, dragging him backwards off his stool and onto his lap. “Or that’d work too,” The red-head laughed, planting himself on Rei’s now empty seat, the obsidian-haired-boy scowling half-heartedly.

 

 “Our friends have agreed to calm down or else face a good spanking,” Tala laughed. Zeo scooted forwards as best he could, leaning on the table a little more.

“By the looks of him, that bartender could use a good spanking,” Zeo whispered, almost inaudible, their suspicious laughter causing said bartender to glare over at them briefly, before serving the man at the bar before him.

 

 Kevin smirked as he turned back to face his friends at the table, abandoning looking over at the barman.

“Yeah, well I don’t know about you guys but I’m buying drinks with a lid on from now on,” the lilac-eyed boy muttered. Tala laughed, draping his arm round his lover’s shoulders.

“Why Kev, afraid he’ll use the date-rape drug on you?” Kevin elbowed him lightly.

“No, afraid he’ll gob in my drink…or worse.”

“And on that rather pleasant note,” Kai announced, pushing Rei off his lap carefully so that they could both get to their feet. “Why are you not dancing?” Rei shrugged, swiftly finding his hands captured by Kai’s, slowly lead away from the table.

 

 “Come on guys,” Kai called, dragging Rei towards the dance floor.

“No,” Rei argued quietly, though not quietly enough as Zeo still heard his words, and understood why he was arguing.

“It’s alright, Rei,” Zeo offered, “I don’t mind. I’ll be more pissed of if you guys don’t go dance than if I can see you doing it, even if I cant.”

 

 Brooklyn, who until then had been sitting beside him silently, leapt to his feet, seizing his lover under his arms and up so that the weight of his body was held against his, Zeo’s toes hanging uselessly above the floor.

“Who says you can’t?” Brooklyn asked with a smile, Zeo’s arms tightening around his shoulders. The boys at the table moved over to the slightly crowded dance floor, over to where Tyson and Max continued their bad attempt at dancing as the current song faded into the next.

 

**‘I feel like, I would like**

**To be somewhere else doing something that matters**

**And I'll admit here, while I sit here**

**My mind wastes away and my doubts start to gather’**

 

 Kai’s arms folded around his boyfriend’s body, pulling him against him momentarily before their bodies danced away then back together again, each moving as if teasing the other into pressing back. The rhythm together with powered some invisible force drew their swaying bodies apart and together; gazes locked as sweat-slicked skin met skin, Rei, for the first time seeing that long-forgotten passion that burned in crimson eyes he adored, in what seemed like an age.

 

**What’s the purpose? It feels worthless**

**So unwanted like I've lost all my value**

**I can't find it, not in the least bit**

**and I'm just scared, so scared that I'll fail you**

**And sometimes I think that I'm not any good at all**

**And sometimes I wonder why, why I'm even here at all**

**But then you assure me**

 

 Rei’s legs snaked around Kai’s as they pressed into each other, hips dancing forwards instinctively, momentarily laying his weight in his arms as he arched back. The Slate-haired boy smirked, hands finding Rei’s hips, holding them against his own as his lover tipped back, hair flicking against his back when the Chinese boy leapt back up so that he could meet Kai’s eyes once more.

 

 Sliding down his lover’s body, Rei landed on his feet, pressing his body into Kai’s torso. The taller boy smirked, noses touching as his hands gripped the slender hips, twisting him away swiftly, before drawing him into his arms, Rei’s back to his chest.

 

**I'm a little more than useless**

**And when I think that I can't do this**

**You promise me that I'll get through this**

**And do something right**

**Do something right for once**

 

 Kai’s hips danced forwards, moving Rei’s body in mimic movements with his own, hands gliding over his lover’s front, Rei’s arms lifting to run slender fingers through dual-coloured hair. The Chinese boy offered his surrounding friends a smile, watching the same returned to him. He felt the weight that had settled at the pit of his stomach suddenly lifted from him entirely, as if it had never been, a weight that he knew had emerged from not being able to see this – his friends, his boyfriend, his life and the things that made it worth living. And like Zeo, he had been given a second chance, and like Zeo, he couldn’t find a fault with it.

 

**So I say if I can't, do something significant**

**I'll opt to leave most opportunities wasted**

**And nothing trivial, that life could give me will**

**Measure up to what might have replaced it**

 

 Kai turned swiftly, taking Rei with him, a smile alighting pale features as he felt himself practically gliding inches above the floor under Kai’s care, the arms holding Rei to the taller boy’s chest, his hands arms the wing that flew him above the ground, defying gravity as it tried to bring him back down.

 

**Too late look, my date book**

**Is packed full of days that were empty and now gone**

**And I bet, that regret**

**Will prove to get me to improve in the long run**

**And sometimes I think that I'm not any good at all**

**And sometimes I wonder why, why I'm even here at all**

**But then you assure me**

 

 Rei’s toes met the floor once more, his lover capturing his hands, turning him, he closed his eyes against the spinning world, reopening them when he fell back, finding himself swiftly dragged back forward to Kai’s body, a smile matching his own staring down at him. He pushed lightly on the Russian boy’s chest, leaping back onto his own feet. Kai followed him, twirling his body effortlessly, allowing him to dance away from him before pulling him back against him.

 

 The sounds of Tala and Tyson cheering them only caused their smiles to widen, the brief glimpses of Tala pressing more embarrassing movements into a flushed Kevin, Max and Tyson spinning and moving in wild circles whilst Zeo sat at the side, Brooklyn’s arms around him, smiling their direction as inaudible endearing whispers from the red-head’s lips shuddered into his ears, waving to his friends every so often whenever they would turn to see where he was in their dizzy haze.

 

**I'm a little more than useless**

**And when I think that I can't do this**

**You promise me that I'll get through this**

**And do something right**

**Do something right for once**

**I'm a little more than useless**

**And I never knew I knew this**

**Was gonna the day, gonna be the day**

**That I would do something right**

**Do something right for once**

 

 It took Rei this long to realise that this was the same bar Kai had brought him to what seemed like so long ago – in preparation for their very first performance together. Back before they’d become lovers, when Kai tormented and gloated over him – before he was in love with him. And this was the same dance, the same moves, only different in some way – better. _Everything_ was better…

 

 Kai turned Rei to face him, the briefest yet most loving of kisses brushing against flushed lips as his arms encircled him. “I love you,” he said, so quiet that only Rei could hear. Rei smiled, nodding slowly, their bodies still moving to the music, though their eyes expressing a much deeper, more forbidden motion.

“Can we go home?” Rei asked, Kai frowned slightly as he twirled him.

“Why? Aren’t you enjoying yourself?” Rei shook his head, still smiling.

“It’s not that… I just… I want to…” he paused, pressing his heated crotch subtly into Kai’s, allowing that finish his sentence, and Kai smirked.

 

**I notice, I know this**

**Week is a symbol of how I use my time**

**Resent it, I spent it**

**Convincing myself the world's doing just fine**

**Without me**

**Doing anything of any consequence**

**Without me**

**Showing any sign of ever making sense**

**Of my time, it's my life**

**And my right, to use it like I should**

**Like he would, for the good**

**Of everything that I would ever know**

 

 Zeo sighed, leaning his head on Brooklyn’s shoulder as he stared at the happiness of the people he loved. His friends, and many more would pity him, would think he was sad at not being able to join his friends, but it wasn’t like that at all. The people he loved may shake their head in disbelief at his ‘laid-back’ attitude, but in all truthfulness, he was alive, and he had them, and that’s all that mattered. “Not being able to use your legs is a small price for happiness,” he said softly, Brooklyn brushed the back of his hand over Zeo’s gently.

“Well said.”

 

**I'm a little more than useless**

**When I think that I can't do this**

**You promise me that I'll get through this**

**And do something right**

**Do something right for once**

 

 “You don’t pity me do you?” Zeo asked, Brooklyn inclined his head slightly, pressing a kiss to green hair.

“Your good-looking, intelligent and lucky to have a stud like me as your lover – there’s nothing to pity. And if you ask for it I’ll bop you straight on your nose.” Zeo laughed, toying with the hair that cascaded over his shoulders.

“And you…you’re not mad at me for…” Brooklyn turned fully to him when Zeo’s voice faltered.

“For what?” Zeo bit his lip apprehensively.

“For not being able to make love to you…?”

 

**I'm a little more than useless**

**And I never knew I knew this**

**Was gonna the day, gonna be the day**

**That I would do something right**

**Do something right for once**

 

 It was then that the Red-head’s expression fell into a frown, before seizing a fistful of hair and tugging firmly.

“You divvy dick,” he grumbled. “I think a little time of chastity will benefit our relationship anyway.” He paused, brushing a rogue hair from his lover’s face, so that he may gaze into his eyes unhindered. “You’ve been betrayed and abused in a relationship that claimed sex was love. They’re two different things, and I’ going to use this time to show you that.” Zeo smiled, pressing his forehead gently against Brooklyn’s.

“Guess it’ll make it that much more special when I can do it again, right?”

“You have such a way with words,” Brooklyn teased, ruffling the smaller boy’s hair affectionately.

 

 The sounds of the song died away, their friends approaching them from amongst the crowd. “Right, well we’re heading off, if that’s okay with you,” Kai announced, plucking his and Rei’s coats from the back of their chairs. “I have something to er…show Rei.” Tala smirked, he and the others taking their seats once more.

“Is it your manhood, Hiwatari?” Kai rolled his eyes.

“See ya guys.”

“Yeah, see ya.” The boys waved tiredly as Kai and Rei left their company, sticking Kevin with paying for the next round of drinks.

 

 “You know,” Tala began, staring at his boyfriend’s ass as he watched the boy fight his way to the bar. “This Christmas might not be so bad after all. At least we’re all together again, right?” Zeo rolled his eyes.

“Somehow I remember saying that about 84 different times this week.” Tala smirked, downing the last dribble of his drink.

“Guess you were right then. But I still say _I’m_ right about that barman.” Zeo looked over to the bartender serving Kevin their drinks.

“Why?”

“He was checking out Rei’s ass when he and Kai were dancing.” Brooklyn choked on his current drink whilst Max all-but fell over laughing, leaning on Tyson for support.

“Why didn’t you tell Kai?” Tyson asked. Tala shrugged, getting to his feet to go help his lover fetch the drinks back to their table.

“You kidding me? If I told Kai everytime someone checked out Rei, he’d be in prison along with Hiro for killing half the continent.”

“And I bet you’re including you and Zeo in that kill-count aren’t ya?” Max teased, his elbows on the table, chin resting on his palm. Tala smirked, the answer all-too obvious.

 

*                 *                 *

 

 Kai had carried that mysterious smile all the way home. Rei kept glancing over to him occasionally, as if each time he looked that expression might offer some clue as to what was going on. _He left me all day, was late for the night out and now all this mysterious smiling? What’s going on…?_

 

 The Slate-haired-boy opened the door to their dormitory for him, closing it behind them both as he followed him inside, finding himself stopping, Rei in his path, stopped dead in the doorway. “K-Kai?” Rei asked, gnawing his lip, eyes wide as he stared around the room. “Did you?”

“Yeah,” Kai answered, looping his arm around the boy’s waist. “Do you like it?” Rei didn’t answer right away, he was stunned.

 

 Golden eyes could not tear away from the multitude of colour in the once very bland room. Tinsel, fairy-lights, wall-hangings and other assorted decorations hung from the walls and ceiling, paper-chains framing the glowing tree that stood lonely in the corner, undressed. “Why isn’t the tree decorated?” Rei asked, finding his voice at last. Kai leaned forwards, hot breath steaming in his ear, along with his next words.

“I thought we could do it together?”

“What ‘we’ as in, you and me?” Kai rolled his eyes.

“No, ‘we’ as in me and Kevin – what do you think stupid?” Rei smiled, moving further into the room, silently admiring it.

 

 “And this was what you were doing today?” Kai nodded his response. “Damn you and your surprises,” he joked. The Slate-haired-boy smiled.

“It was a nice surprise though.” Rei said nothing, though the smile gracing his lips was all the answer Kai required. “A nice surprise kind of like the presents around the tree that you haven’t noticed.” Rei turned to him, before looking towards the tree.

 

 Suddenly, the Slate-haired-boy caught his gaze once more, frowning at the glassy tint to golden orbs. “What’s wrong?” he asked, “I thought you would have liked it.” Rei shook his head.

“No, I do it’s just… I thought you hated Christmas.” Kai smirked.

“You make me sound like _Scrooge_. Listen, do you like it?” Rei nodded, unsure where this was heading. “Then that’s all that matters. Besides,” he began, pressing on Rei’s shoulders gently until the smaller boy dropped onto the couch. “I figure, having you alone to myself with cool fairy lights in the background might not be such a bad idea.” Rei smiled, leaning up into the kiss offered to him, smiling when they broke apart.

“Oh, I see, ulterior motives,” he teased, as Kai pressed his weight gently upon him, a further, deeper kiss soon following.

 

TBC

* * *

A/N:  'More than Useless' does not belong to me, it belongs to Relient K and other people who aren't me, K?

 


	43. Beloved

_Beloved_

_~Forty-three~_

 

 In the same way that when he awoke it was startling to find that only blurs were visible to his eyes, so was it the same now, as dark lashes fluttered, golden eyes racing over momentarily dazzling, multi-hued lights. Silently he laid there on the sofa, realising he must have fallen asleep there alongside Kai, whose embrace encircled him with comforting warmth, and he watched as the changing lights toyed with those features he adored.

 

 The Chinese boy’s long fingers danced forwards across the naked plains of that well-toned chest, tracing every contour softly, accustoming himself to his lover’s appearance once more, having nearly forgotten how lucky he was to be able to.

 

 “I love you…” The husky words had escaped slightly parted lips before Kai had even realised he was awake. Kai’s fingers cupped the nape of his boyfriend’s neck, running the digits up through masses of obsidian hair, admiring silken locks before meeting Rei’s gaze.

“Gods…what’s got you so passionate all of a sudden? I thought I tired you out – you fell asleep practically a split-second after we’d finished – I thought the excitement of sex with your eye-sight had killed you until I checked for a pulse.”

 

  Rei smirked, breath steaming onto taut flesh as he smoothed fluttering, butterfly kisses over Kai’s stomach, crawling up the boy’s body slowly, lacing arms around his neck to hold himself up as he dragged his tongue and teeth over the slender, pale column of his throat. “Tell me you love me?”

“I love you, you know I do…” Kai responded hoarsely, turning his head ever so slightly to lick his boyfriend’s cheek swiftly, before Rei’s fingers stroked up the side of his neck to turn it back again, so as to expose vulnerable flesh. Kai hissed as he felt teeth graze him gently, sucking hard and then softly, rosy lips slanting over the fresh love-bite apologetically.

 

 “Tell me you need me…” Rei breathed, the power over his lover intoxicating, that voice breathy and almost confused whispering exactly what he wanted to hear…it sent harsh courses of electric ecstasy through his veins. Kai groaned at Rei’s voice, and at the odd sensations assaulting him as he felt another bruise decorate his throat not far from the last.

“All I need is you…” he whispered, nudging the boy’s cheek with his own gently, touching noses with him before capturing those devious lips, flushed with kissing his flesh, the kiss broke before it had begun, and Kai felt Rei’s arms snake around his waist, blunt nails grazing over his shoulder gently, enticing him downwards into the comfort of the sofa. “I think I’m gonna go crazy I love you so much…” The words had scarcely left him before he dived down to seal those tempting lips with his own, tongue dancing along the border before stealing in to taste. Faces tilted to try and go deeper into each other. Kai’s hand supporting the back of his lover’s neck as his other trekked across Rei’s unclothed chest, encircling a rosy nub, tormenting it gently with feather-light touches that made the Chinese boy’s body arch upwards, before tweaking a tad roughly, darting forwards to soothe the mild discomfort with delicate passes of his tongue.

 

 BANG! BANG! BANG! Rei and Kai leapt at the sudden sound, disrupted from their activities, shooting up so swiftly their foreheads clashed, the boys tumbling off the sofa untidily, limbs knotted together as they clutched their heads, wincing in pain. “Yow…” Rei groaned as Kai gathered himself to his feet, stumbling over to the door.

“Who the fuck is it?” Kai growled.

“Charming… We come bearing gifts and he uses gratuitous swearing…” Kai scowled, still rubbing his head as he turned to Rei, who was holding onto the sofa as he struggled to get to his feet.

“You might want to go scamper into some clothing Kitten, the stooges are here.”

“The stooges were funnier than us!” Tyson called through the door.

“Yeah, and less gay,” Kevin added monotonously.

“Well now I don’t know about that…” Tala responded. Kai slapped his hand to his head in disbelief, wincing at the action. He couldn’t believe his friends some times. He paused as his hand met the door handle. Did he really just think that? His _‘friends’_ … God help me if they are, he added mentally as he opened the door carelessly as Rei disappeared into the bedroom with what remained of his dignity.

 

 “Had your Christmas sex yet Hiwatari?” Zeo questioned as Brooklyn rolled him in. Kai raised a brow. “Oh, I can smell sex a mile away.” The Russian turned hi nose up in disgust.

“Zeo that’s putrid…”

“Okay I lied,” he said with a smile, his boyfriend parking his wheelchair next to the three-piece suite, where the others had gathered already, “we overheard your neighbours complaining about your Kitty-cat’s sex noises.” Kai smirked, catching the present Tala tossed at him with relative ease.

“Little something from me to you Hiwatari,” Tala said with a cool air about him, leaning back into the sofa, arm draped around Kevin’s shoulders. _He wouldn’t be so cool if he realised I screwed Rei into that sofa last night,_ Kai thought.

 

 “And here.” Kevin threw one at him awkwardly, Kai regarding him with a raised brow.

“Geez, it’s not gonna explode is it?” Kevin scowled, but Kai’s smirk spread as Brooklyn and the others set their own gifts for Kai and Rei near the overly decorated tree that the couple had managed to decorate before a bout of ‘crazed Christmas sex’ as Tala and Zeo fondly named it.

“My gift is from the _Ann Summer’s_ catalogue,” Zeo stated suddenly, grinning broadly at their stunned expressions. “Just thought I’d warn ya.”

 

 Kai shook his head. “You guys can’t talk about that stuff when Rei’s mother gets here for dinner – it’s bad enough the poor woman’s gonna be spending the holiday with a bunch of fags, she doesn’t need to hear all that stuff about her only son’s sex life.”

“How do you know that Rei’s her only son?” Tyson asked goofily, an oafish grin reaching his lips that told them he was about to say something stupid. “He could have had many brothers – each fallen pray to homosexuality and ritualistically offered up as sacrifices to the Chinese gods – but then were raped and pillaged by lunatic nymphomaniacs.” His friends merely stared at him blankly, silent for a moment until Max spoke.

“No please,” he said to his friends exasperatedly, “allow me.” With that his fist collided with the back of his boyfriend’s head, the speechless looks continuing even as Tyson nursed his new head-wound.

“Tyson, you’re a moron,” Kai said, still shaking his head, stop forcing your fantasies upon us and open your damn present.” He punctuated the point by hurling the badly wrapped gift to him, leaning down to find the others’ presents from him and Rei.

 

 “Lucky none of these are fragile really – with all this throwing,” Brooklyn said with a smile, catching his own as it was thrown his way.

“Yeah, but mine might vibrate,” Zeo teased, looking to the bedroom door as Rei emerged, now fully clothed, joyful at the sight of his friends as he toyed idly with the choker around his neck (which Kai had let him open last night).

“Rei my sexy darling you’re so gay it’s unreal,” said Tala affectionately, Rei blushing slightly as he perched himself on the arm of Kai’s chair.

“Thanks Tala,” he said, smiling as Kai’s arm laced around his hips, drawing his attention to him before pressing a small, wrapped box into his hands.

“Merry Christmas, I guess…” Rei smirked at his lover’s words, a swift kiss pressed to his forehead before the Russian boy returned to opening his own gifts.

 

 Some were best left unnamed, (the gifts from Zeo and Tyson for example) whilst some were simply unidentifiable (the gifts from Max). It seemed that Brooklyn, Tala and Kevin were the only ones with any clue as to what a suitable Christmas gift present was. _Having said that,_ Kai thought, with a quick glance to his boyfriend, _I think we can find a use for them – Zeo’s gifts in particular…_

 

 “Question, what do you get the multi-millionaire that can afford anything?” Zeo asked as Kai threw him a questioning look after looking inside the box his green-haired friend had given him. “The stuff he’s too embarrassed to buy.”

 

 Rei sighed, shaking his head disbelievingly as he picked up an unopened card on top of the letters that had arrived yesterday morning, and had not been looked over yet. “Christmas card from my relatives in china…” Rei said, recognising the handwriting on the front. “Ooh, this one’s for you.” Kai frowned as his boyfriend pushed envelope addressed to him into his hands.

“Who’d be writing to me? Everyone I know lives here,” he wondered, tearing into the paper and pulling out the contents.

 

 Rei frowned upon realising it wasn’t a Christmas card at all, but a handwritten letter, a letter that caused a worrying expression to play across the Slate-haired-boy’s features. “Kai?” he asked, squeezing the taller boy’s shoulders, “Kai what’s wrong?” After what seemed like an age, Kai dropped the letter into his lap, gaze wandering to the others in the room once more.

“Kai?” Brooklyn asked this time, sitting up a little straighter. “What’s-”

“-It’s my Grandfather,” he interrupted him, the letter, it’s…he wants to see me…my Grandfather…”

 

 Rei swallowed hard, mouth opening soundlessly as Kai gathered himself to his feet, dropping the letter onto Brooklyn’s lap carelessly as he made his way into the bedroom, closing the door behind him.

 

 Kai growled under his breath as the door shut. Anger boiled under flesh, coursing through enraged blood, the boy kicking the bin before throwing himself down on his bed. Long fingers knotted into his hair, tugging at the dual-coloured tresses, crimson eyes closed against the room, even as he heard the door open and close quietly.

 

 “Kai?” Rei voice drifted into his ears, fluttering against his raw anger like a moth against a flame, the Chinese boy lowering himself skittishly onto the bed beside him. “Kai, are you…? Is there anything I can do?” Kai shook his head, eyes still not venturing beyond his hands. Things had finally been going right, finally been looking up and it had all come crashing down on him again.

 

 “The world doesn’t want me to be happy…” he muttered, mostly to himself, for a moment not even realising he’d spoken aloud. The Obsidian-haired-boy’s fingers intertwined with his, drawing his hands away from his face so as to meet his eyes. Glassy gold met with defiant crimson, speaking volumes without words.

 

 “Your Grandfather… Why does he want to see you?” Kai smirked despite himself.

“The payments to him have stopped – I have to renew the payments yearly now I’m of age. I have to go there and sign the papers again; saying that he still gets to live in the house, and still gets some the money I allow him.” Rei frowned, sitting up a little straighter.

“So tell him to piss off. He ruined your life – why should he get _anything_ off of you-”

“-Because he’s my Grandfather. He hates me, I hate him but he is still my mother’s father and I can’t just throw him out…”

“Why not?” Rei persisted, anger on Kai’s behalf surging through him.

“It’s…It’s just complicated…” Rei paused, mouth closing soundlessly. He hadn’t exactly had the perfect life, but he’d never suffered what Kai had – never had his own family turn on him.

 

  _Whatever’s happened to me…at least my parents, and my grandparents…all of them loved me…Kai lost the family that loved him, and was abused by the family he had left… Brooklyn is his only family now, I suppose…_

 

 “Hey, Rei?” Both boys turned to the doorway as Tala’s voice sounded through the closed door. “Your mother’s here – Christmas lunch and all that…”

“Crap,” Rei muttered, getting to his feet. “Tell her I’ll be out in a minute and to put the chicken in the oven?” Hearing their friend move from the doorway, The lovers turned to face each other, Kai gathering himself to his feet, reaching for Rei’s hands once more.

“Rei I…I know this is important to you…with your mother and everything…” He trailed off, leaving nothing more than confusion to permeate the air, as a frown flickered across the Chinese boy’s features.

“Kai, if there’s something you want to tell me-”

“-No I… It’s just…”

 

 This hesitation, this looming anxiety was beginning to scare him. He’d seen few things worry Kai this much, and even then this seemed…different… _worse_.  “I would never put you in any danger, you know that, right?”

“Kai, what is-”

“-But I have to ask you – and it’s okay if you say no but… Will you come with me?” That odd, vague, lingering question caressing his ears as he found himself fondling the dark ribbon around his neck distantly. Go to Russia? See the man that had made Kai’s childhood a misery? Could he really do such a thing without beating the old man with his own severed limbs?! _No,_ Rei mentally reasoned with himself. _This is Kai’s decision, and whatever decision he makes I have to support and respect that…_ He smiled at the thought, lashes fluttering closed as he leant into Kai’s chest, head resting on his shoulder. _I guess that’s what being in love means…_

 

 “I’ll go with you,” he said, lips grazing over his lover’s throat, “after my mother leaves to go home on Boxing Day. I’ll go to Russia with you…” he paused, basking in the warmth of his lover’s arms enclosing around him, slender fingers running gently down his back. “…But only if you show me your house – mansion, whatever it is.” Kai smirked, laying a kiss on Rei’s forehead before responding.

“Which one?” Rei’s eyes widened.

“Are you kidding me?”

“You really _don’t_ know what a multi-millionaire is do you?” Rei frowned.

“Well if you’re so damn rich why are you in college?” At this Kai laughed, releasing him from their embrace as he lowered himself onto his bed once more and staring up at his boyfriend thoughtfully.

 

 “You forget, once I ran away with Brooklyn he was my dad, and until I inherited my fortune, I depended on him for everything.”

“And after that?” Kai shrugged.

“I paid for my own things, helped Brooklyn out of the debt he’d got himself into through caring for me all those years… And carried on with my education.” Rei leant forwards, arms lacing around the boy’s neck.

“Why?” Kai sighed, shaking his head slightly.

“Because Brooklyn had taught me how to be a good person, and I wanted to make a difference in the world – I wanted to be the best figure skater in the world. People would be brought together to see my performance, and it would make them smile, and kids, and teenagers, and elderly people, they would all look forward to those few minutes of happiness that I would bring them and the people they cared about, and it’d…” he paused, resting his forehead against Rei’s stomach.

 

 “I remember how I felt when I performed or when Brooklyn or my parents took me to watch… It’d make me feel like I’ve made a difference to people’s lives, if only for a short time.”  Rei smiled, smoothing the Russian boy’s rebellious hair back from his face tenderly.

“You really love Brooklyn, don’t you?”

“The same as you love your mother, the way you loved your father…”

 

 Rei chewed his lip, hesitant of the question he was about to ask, though pressing onward regardless.

“And despite everything…you love your grandfather, don’t you?” There was no immediate answer. Kai stood slowly, unshed tears glistening in his eyes as he regarded him closely, a smile lingering over his lips.

“I bloody hate Christmas,” he said, offering his boyfriend a small smirk.

 

TBC


	44. Lifeless

 

_Lifeless_

_~Forty-Four~_

 

 An uncomfortable pressure had seized his stomach, his toes – everything was tight, as if his own skin were trying to crush him to death. Slender fingers gripped the arms of his seat, heart thudding rapidly in his chest, seeming to be creeping up his throat. It was times like this that he was reminded just _why_ he hated flying so much. When he was actually in the air it was alright, it was the taking off he hated more than anything. Golden eyes closed against the plane, forcing himself instead to ponder the day before in an attempt to distract himself…

 

 His poor mother… As if Christmas dinner had not been awkward enough with all of her fellow guests being homosexual – and very obviously so! Tala and Kevin had too much Champaign and ended up singing distorted renditions of various Christmas carols under the table. Tyson nearly cracked under the pressure from being separated from his…well crack! And whilst Zeo continued down the path of inappropriate innuendo, Kai persisted in attempting to play footsie with him against his will.

 

  _Great,_ he thought in recollection, _I was foot-raped and my mother was mentally scarred – why do I think this will be a normal holiday tradition._

 

 Not long into dessert – just when Rei thought it was safe, his mother had seized the opportunity to question his relationship with Kai in what she obviously deemed an inaudible tone. He only thanked the Gods or whoever was listening that his friends and Kai had the courtesy to pretend they weren’t listening, and to merely snigger into their pudding quietly.

 

 Despite everything, waving goodbye to his mother had been the hardest thing he’d had to do. She was going back to China today, though her flight had been earlier than theirs to Russia, which offered them the opportunity to see her off.

 

 It had felt worse than bidding her farewell when he’d first left for college, it felt…harder – like he was saying goodbye to his younger days, when he’d been her everything, and she his. He’d never really appreciated just how much his life his changed until he’d watched her disappear through the doors then. Kai was the person in his life now, not his parents, and however much he loved the Russian boy beside him now, did not dissuade him from his melancholy recollections of fond memories.

 

  _Guess kids never realise how good they’ve got it until they’re not kids anymore,_ he thought, leaning back into the seat with a sigh as the pressure ebbed away from his already exhausted body, a warm hand brushing over his fingers before coming to rest on top carefully.

 

 “When you said snow,” Rei began quietly, tilting his head playfully towards his boyfriend. “How much?”

“Like a countries’ worth of ski resorts,” Kai answered, a smirk gracing his lips.

“Right,” The smaller boy said with a nervous laugh, “Which of your _billion_ houses are we going to?” Kai sighed at his words, leaning back into his own chair, crimson eyes fluttering closed.

“I have 8, not a billion, and we’re going to the one in Moscow, since that’s where I have allowed my Grandfather to stay for the last few years.” Rei gnawed his lip thoughtfully, nervous bile causing his stomach to tremble slightly. Something was going to go wrong, he just knew it.

 

 “K-Kai?” he asked cautiously, wary of how his lover might react to the following words. “Aren’t you in the least bit worried? Or even _nervous_?” Kai opened one eyes, peering at him through it.

“Why, are you?” The Chinese boy swallowed, nodding earnestly, the small smirk at Kai’s lips spreading into a foreboding grin.

“Wanna go have sex in the toilets?”

“KAI!” He scolded staring about him, apprehensively checking if anyone had heard.

“Relax Kitten, just thought you might enjoy something to err… _distract_ you.” The Obsidian haired boy blushed to the roots of his hair, but never answered. He just wished this entire journey was over with. He could already feel his ears popping.

 

*                 *                 *

 

 His feet touching down on solid concrete had never felt so good in his life. The all-too risky romp in the plane toilets (however exciting) had indeed drowned his anxiety – but only a for few moments. After cleaning himself up and limping back to his seat the unyielding terror resurfaced once more. He _hated_ planes more than anything. At that moment he turned, alone and distant in the airport as he watched Kai argue with the attendant at the luggage conveyor-belt. _I take it back,_ he thought, _I hate airports more than anything…_

 

 The Obsidian-haired-boy sighed, tipping his head back exhaustedly. Not for the first nor last time did he find himself wishing this trip was over-and-done with. And yet, the horrible nagging suspicion still lingered in the shadows of his jittery mind, an inkling notion that the worst was yet to come…

 

 “Hey, cutie, you lost?” Rei inclined his head to the sight slightly, his body jolting backwards at the sight of the dark stranger at his side. Rei scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, struggling to search for any escape from this situation.

“Er – pardon?” he asked meekly, not sure what to do with Kai out of earshot. He’d been so used to being the one that was looked after he’d practically forgotten how o be careful by himself.

“I asked if you were lost – need a ride?” the thick Russian accent only served to draw his thoughts to Kai further – he never spoke at all like that, but then again, he had been practically brought up in America… Then again, he didn’t sound Chinese, so he supposed it should have been no real surprise.

 

 Still, this man before him, leering and pressing closer to him with every breath, he was _so_ very unlike Kai that it shook him. His arms came out to keep the small distance between the man and him, the frail barriers pushed aside easily. He swallowed hard as the stranger advanced.

 

 “Um… No thanks,” he answered, voice becoming smaller and smaller, “My er…boyfriend will be back soon.” The Chinese boy offered a small gesture towards were Kai stood, still oblivious to his plight. The stranger remained there, looming over him, gaze flickering briefly to Kai, before falling back on Rei once more.

 

 “Kind of scrawny isn’t he?”

“He isn’t scrawny!” Rei yelled. “At least he’s heard of a bar of soap!” Before the word had even finished the escape from his mouth he’d realised that had _not_ been the right comeback.  The man’s features hardened as he pressed into his space.

“You stinkin’ ass-”

“-Excuse me!” The brisk, fleeting tone has scarcely registered in Rei’s mind before he felt himself caught by the front of his shirt, and being dragged away through the airport doors. It wasn’t even until his saviour had released him and had started loading their luggage into the awaiting taxi that he realised it was in fact Kai.

 

  _I’m **so** not good at taking care of myself – makes me wonder how Mum could’ve let me come all the way from China to the US on my own. I’m surprised I wasn’t kidnapped! _He paused in his line of thought, finding himself ushered into the back seat, shortly followed by a severe looking Kai. Not for the first nor last time that day Rei swallowed nervously, avoiding his lover’s eyes. _He’s gonna let me have it now…_

 

 “You shouldn’t stand in places like that, looking the way you do.” Rei frowned.

“Like what?” Kai turned his head to regard him closely.

“Cute with that vulnerable lost expression-”

“-This is my normal expression!” Rei cried out indignantly. Kai rolled his eyes, ignoring him and turning to the driver.

“How far are we from the Hiwatari estate?” Kai asked.

“About twenty minutes, Sir. Perhaps you should call them and inform them of your arrival – I hear that Voltaire doesn’t permit many visitors.” Kai smirked, leaning back into his seat, arms folded.

“Oh I think he’ll let me in,” he answered coolly, “He doesn’t really have much of a choice…”

 

 Those twenty minutes were the longest of his life. They past with the speed of a sleepy tide, drawing them further and further towards the beacon of Rei’s apprehension, the luxurious, snow-covered estate that had finally become visible in the distance, welcoming them onward with a foreboding calm, that undoubtedly came before the storm.

 

 Still sulking at Kai’s choice of words (as it allowed him to forget their imminent arrival at his Grandfather home) Rei’s golden gaze drifted over the houses along the street they swept through. Snow iced the homes surrounding them, whilst it iced the pavement and the road, fresh snowflakes raining down upon the pedestrians with each traitorous sweep of the wind that he could hear whistling and slamming against the car-windows.

 

 _Maybe it’s because of the snow, but this place,_ Rei thought, _it doesn’t seem real – it’s like something out of a strange dream._ The air seemed heavier, harsher upon his chest. And though beautiful, it felt like it was suffocating him. Maybe it was the place, or perhaps the growing realisation of how close they were getting. Whatever it was, it felt bad, something bad was going to happen…

 

 Stepping out of the car, his anxiety failed to subside, an uncomfortable pressure clogging up his lungs and stomach. His nerves aroused a small blush under his skin, his fingers toying idly with the zip of his coat as Kai paid the driver, and they made their way towards the twisted iron gates that towered overhead.

 

 The building stood beyond the iron prison-bars, looming like a grey shadow in the snowy mist. Angels and unreadable words lay carved in the stone, columns framing the doorway, dead flowers and shrubs decorating the pathway and front gardens, lying dormant beneath the snow. Dead, that’s what he thought when he paused there, listening absently to Kai arguing with someone over the intercom. Everything just looked so… _lifeless_.

 

 “…I DAMN WELL OWN THE DOOR! SO OPEN IT OR I’LL BREAK IT DOWN AND THEN **FIRE** YOU!” A small silence followed Kai’s words, until an electrical buzzing shuddered into their ears, the gates swinging open with an ominous creak, permitting their entry.

 

 Previously untouched snow crunched underfoot as they moved on, drawn towards the menacing beckoning of the front doors. It seemed a never-ending path fit only for those who had no desire to return. Heavy gazes bore down onto the back of his neck, invisible to his eyes which began to stare around almost frantically.

 

 “Rei?” Kai asked quietly, not tearing his gaze from the door ahead. “What’s wrong?”

“I…” he paused, staring about him as if to make sure no one could hear him, “I swear someone’s watching us…” Kai’s face remained impassive.

“That’s because someone _is_ watching us.” He gestured upwards, and Rei, following the movement, saw framed in one of the top-floor windows, a man. Kai’s grandfather? He frowned, recognising something in the aged, twisted face, something he couldn’t quite place. He’d seen him somewhere before…

 

 “Don’t look, just come on,” Kai said carefully, ascending the stone stairs to the door, which opened under order of the small, frail-looking doorman, who inclined his head slightly in a bow as they stepped over the threshold and into the warmth.

 

 The musky scent of something unnameable clogged his senses, more so than the outside. His stomach churned threateningly. That face, that face in the window, he recognised it from somewhere…

 

 “Welcome home Master Kai,” the old man said suddenly, making Rei jump. “Allow me to take your coats?” Kai shook his head.

“No, it’s alright. Grandfather is in the study?” The old man nodded in response. “Good, if you could send up some hot drinks for us please. Then take a break, you look tired.” The elderly man smiled.

“Thank you, Master Kai, it is good to have to back safety,” he said, still smiling as he ambled through one of the many nearby doors and out of sight.

 

 Kai sighed, untying the scarf around his neck and hanging it on the rack near the door. “Rei you can leave your coat here – Rei?” He turned to face his lover when he received no response, only to find Rei’s eyes seemingly attempting to take in every aspect of the room at once. The foyer itself was bigger than his entire lecture hall. Two sets of stairs framed it, curving round and meeting at the landing what seemed like miles above, whilst dark, glimmering flooring paved the ground, meeting dressed walls and numerous doorways that it hurt his mind to try and decipher. “If the wind changes your face will stay like that,” Kai teased, drawing Rei from his awe by capturing his waist in his embrace, permitting a small kiss to fall on his forehead.

“You really own this all… It’s…”

“Cool I know,” Kai finished, smiling awkwardly, a flickering sadness behind his eyes, “I’ll give you a tour later. We need to go meet my Grandfather first. Come on.”

_Should I tell him?_ He wondered, _should I tell him I recognise his Grandfather from somewhere?_ He wasn’t sure. Chewing his lip fretfully he felt Kai all-but drag him up the grand staircase, limbs screaming their protest at climbing so many stairs. It would certainly be awkward to tell him whilst Voltaire was there – what if he were mistaken? His mind swirled in a disorientating haze. What should he do?

 

 They’d reached the landing already, weaving into the main hall and trekking down the carpeted corridors until they stopped, Rei slightly panting, still struggling for words.

 

 “Kai,” he said at last, “I think-”

“-Don’t worry,” the slate-haired-boy interrupted, “let me do all the talking.” He sounded cool, but his eyes betrayed some sense of his inner apprehension. He was so confused, and scared, and it hurt Rei to see that reflected in crimson eyes he adored so much.

“Kai, wait-” Kai’s fingers enclosed around the handle, pushing it open to allow them through into the room, and Rei had still not told him.

 

 Large curtained windows showed that the sun still lingered behind the thick veil of snow and sleet, meaning that no light shone into the dim room. Lamps stood to each side of the study, walls lined with books Rei couldn’t read. A fire burned in the grand hearth, its flames causing flickering shadows to dance across the walls and those in the room. “Grandfather,” Kai said at last, stepping forwards though his mind and body begged to stay where they were, voice straining not to yield to trembling fear. “We’re here.” He paused at the great oak desk, Rei stopping just a little behind him, each watching the back of the chair uneasily.

 

 “Indeed,” came a strong voice, coarse with age, “and not alone.” An oddly penetrating silence shot through the room, the chair turning, and the man within becoming visible at last. Dark hair, harsh features. Rei swallowed inaudibly.

 

 This was the embodiment of everything Kai had told him. The man before him stared into him, stripping away the shields around his soul with piercing, almost cruel eyes. This was Kai’s grandfather, and he scared him. He’d seen him before. There was no doubt about it; there was no mistaking that face.

 

 “Allow me to introduce myself,” the man said coarsely, “I am-”

“Voltaire Hiwatari,” Rei finished, “I know. We’ve met.” The twisted features contorted into a smirk as he sat forward, elbows resting on the desk, fingers interlocking as he regarded him thoughtfully.

“Indeed, we have.” Kai frowned, looking from one to the other.

“What? What’s going on here?” When neither answered he looked to his grandfather, all nervousness gone from his voice.

 

 “How do you know him?” Once again there was no answer, save for the subtle crackling of the fire. “How do you know each other?” he repeated silently insisting he received an answer. Rei lowered his eyes from Voltaire’s at last, apparently finding something interesting about his shoes as his feet pawed at the plush carpet awkwardly. “Rei?” Rei wet his dry lips, still not looking at Kai as he spoke.

 

TBC


	45. To Be Alive

 

_To Be Alive_

_~Forty-Five~_

 

_“How do you know him?” Once again there was no answer, save for the subtle crackling of the fire. “How do you know each other?” he repeated silently insisting he received an answer. Rei lowered his eyes from Voltaire’s at last, apparently finding something interesting about his shoes as his feet pawed at the plush carpet awkwardly. “Rei?” Rei wet his dry lips, still not looking at Kai as he spoke._

 

 “I didn’t realise it before but I…my parents worked for him.” Kai frowned.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean my dad worked for him and my mother still does!” Rei retorted snippily. Voltaire leant back in his chair a little, regarding the two boys with a forebodingly odd expression.

“I seem to recall a little more to the story than that, but regardless…” He smirked, gathering himself to his feet and circling the desk to stand before them, scanning Rei’s appearance carefully. Rei shifted uncomfortably under the man’s gaze, pushing rebellious strands behind his ear nervously.

 

 “So this is the one? You’re _like that_ with this one are you?” Kai scowled, moving forwards.

“Yeah, he’s my lover – we fuck frequently, sometimes we cuddle and even bathe together.” He smirked inwardly at his Grandfather’s sneer. “Don’t look at me like that old man, your approval ain’t something I care about. I gave up on that about the same time as I gave up on you.”

“That so?” The man asked, folding his arms across his chest, seeming to draw himself up as if to make himself taller.

“Yeah, it is,” Kai answered, struggling to keep his voice as strong as he had so far, though his bravery wavering as he found that aged gaze weighing upon him, the scent of tobacco that clung to the air clogging up his lungs so that it felt like he was suffocating in his Grandfather’s presence.

 

“And I’m quite aware that you’ve seen us performing together on the ice, otherwise you wouldn’t have known to send Hiro after us. What did you do? Seek him out in that juvenile place and pay for him to be set loose on the condition he fuck up my life?” Voltaire smirked.

“A lot of things you are Boy, but stupid evidently is not one of them.” Kai’s eyes widened a little. Even though he knew from the beginning it would be the truth, it hurt to hear it. Why had he felt his Grandfather would have changed? He felt ridiculous for even contemplating it. He was just the same as he ever was, bullying, cruel…and the old man knew what this was doing to him and it only made that smirk widen.

 

 “So you fucked up when your lawyer couldn’t get Hiro off, he’s been put away for a long time you realise?” Voltaire shrugged slightly.

“No matter, he was merely a pawn, and he served his purpose. Just as everyone does at some point in their life – they all reach a stage where their existence is pointless, and useless, and nothing but a burden to those around them,” His gaze flickered to Rei, “Your father’s time came, your mothers will, and so will yours. You’ll understand one day, that Hiwatari men eventually cast away what they no longer have use for-”

“-Stop it Grandfather.” Voltaire’s eyes fixed on Kai as he spoke.

“How long will it be until then, Kai?” he asked, his voice still gruff, even as he said Kai’s name for the first time since they’d arrived.

 

 “You’ve pushed that idiot Brooklyn away now you’re in college? I expect you just see him for practice and that’s why you still see him at all. But what about this Boy?” he asked with feigned kindness, gesturing to Rei, “When will his place in your heart expire? One year? Two?”

“When I’m dead,” Kai answered, his words a low grumble in the back of his throat, “I’m not like you; I don’t drop the people I love. Not like the way you did me…”

 

 Voltaire again offered nothing more than a careless shrug, leaning back to seize a cigarette from the desk and light it thoughtfully, drawing it in with a deep, pensive breath before turning his attention to them once more. “Your time had come. I didn’t have a use for a boy who denied his place in the world and would rather prance across an ice rink like a lame horse than manage his own companies and land.” He paused, allowing his comment to sink in, as well as time to admire the effects the words had on Kai, who seemed to be struggled not to crumble under his stare.

 

 “Just like your mother – weak, so fixated on her own pitiful emotions that she couldn’t look past them to see the rest of the world. Should have chosen a strong businessman… I’ll admit she had a handsome (though empty) head on her shoulders, she didn’t lack for admirers, and who did she pick? Your father, a useless waste of space… I tried to train him to suit the estate’s purposes, but no, only had eyes for your foolish mother, and you… Just as well his mind went to pot…” Kai staggered from the words, remaining in the silent space between lunging at this main and ripping him apart and fleeing the house forever.

 

 Rei’s eyes moved to Kai, the pressure in his chest tightening as it threatened to break. He couldn’t believe the words that were being said, how could a man honestly say such things about his dead daughter? And to his only Grandson? It seemed impossible, implausible, but it was true, and it was happening. And it only just occurred to him, that the world was full of people like this. Hiro, Voltaire…there were millions of them across the world, was that just? That they should live while his father, Kai’s parents, Wyatt…whilst people like them should die? Was that right?

 

 It was unfair…everything was so unfair. The _world_ was unfair. He felt whatever respect or _goodness_ he had held for the world since his recovery slip through his fingers then. Was it really worth the struggle if people like this rose from the bowels of the frigid earth and stole any rewards away? His fingers clenched, knuckles turning pale with white-hot anger. It wasn’t worth it… This world wasn’t worth the pain or the effort… But Kai was… He was the constant anchor when the bitter tide tugged everything else from his grasp. He was worth it, and that was all that mattered anymore…

 

 “You know what?” Rei asked, an air of forced confidence about his voice as he stepped out from Kai’s shadow then, both his lover and the old man looking slightly taken aback by his sudden movement towards bravery. “You’re a bastard.” Voltaire blinked.

“Excuse me?”

“No, you’re not excused, I’m talking right now,” Rei retorted, “You’re a bastard. You’re a mean, bitter old man that looks down on everyone else and…and no one loves you, and no one will miss you when you die except Kai because despite everything he can’t help himself, and you – you throw that back in his face at every opportunity! You talk about his mother - your own dead _daughter_ as if she were some common slut!”

 

 “Rei,” Kai said warningly, trying to silence him as he placed a hand on the smaller boy’s shoulders, but Rei shrugged him off.

“No, no he needs to hear this from me if no one else will stand up and say it to him. You,” he said, returning his attention to Voltaire, “You’re the one that deserves death when people like Kai’s Mother, like _my_ dad die. My Dad died working his ass of so I could stay in school – he was too sick to stand but he came to your company every day for me and my mother – because _you,_ you with your millions of dollars couldn’t spare him any sick pay!” He paused, gathering breath, gathering his thoughts. It was a moment where everything bottled up inside was screaming to get out, and in the confusion he was forgetting the things that needed to be said – the things this man needed to hear.

 

 “You’re not good enough to go to the other side – to heaven or whatever waits for us. Because I _know_ it’s a place where everyone is at peace, where everyone who asks for it receives forgiveness. But you don’t deserve that. You deserve to wander the world alone, and miserable, in this world where people like _you_ will tear you apart. You deserve that. And I pity you.” Voltaire sneered.

“Pity?”

“Yeah, because when it comes down to it, the bad things knock us all down sometimes, but what makes you and Kai different, is that me and Brooklyn – all of us will always be there to pick Kai back up. But you…” he paused, stepping forward a little, his voice low and menacing, as Kai had never heard it before, “you’ll drown in the gutter, and be washed away like all the other trash…”

 

 SMACK! Rei felt his jaw scream as the iron-coated fist smashed into it. He stumbled, stopped from falling when the man seized his throat and threw him onto the desk, large; suffocating fingers choked the life from him as that other fist collided with his face once more. He screamed as blood swam inside his mouth. “You and your own are the trash! Your mother, that filthy whore will never work in my company again! And you’ll be the one that’s washed away! Do you even know who I am?!!!”

 

 “GET OFF HIM!!” Kai cried out, throwing his body into Voltaire’s side, sending the preoccupied man flying off Rei and skidding across the floor into the bookcase. The furniture trembled, a few books shuddering from their shelves and tumbling onto the Old man beneath. Voltaire sneered, gathering himself to his feet shakily. Kai ignored him, pulling Rei off the desk carefully. “You alright?” he asked. The boy nodded, rubbing his bruised throat gently as he spluttered for breath.

 

 “Kai,” Voltaire growled as he regained his posture. “Don’t you _dare_ forget your place _boy_.” Kai swallowed, straightening up slightly.

“Me forget? You forget _your_ place,” he all-but spat with renewed strength and revulsion. “ _I_ own _everything_ you seem to be calling your own. This house, the companies, the money… I only let you stay here. But no more, no more do you understand?” Voltaire seemed to lose his hold on the place above Kai, the pedestal that held him them crumbling as Kai took all supporting beams away.

“What?” he asked, voice full of anxiety for the first time.

“You heard me,” Kai retorted, quiet though firm, “You will no longer be permitted to manage, nor be a part of any of my companies, you will not stay in any of my homes, and you will no longer get an allowance.”

 

 Those once cold, heartless eyes widened with fear. “And how do you propose I live?” Voltaire asked, voice trembling slightly.

“Work for it like everyone else, it may do you some good.”

“And send me out into the snow with nothing?” Kai sneered, moving away from his Grandfather and manoeuvring round him to lean the piece of paper he withdrew from his pocket onto the desk, scribbling on it swiftly before returning his gaze to Voltaire.

 

 “Here’s a cheque for One-thousand Euros. Spend it as you will, but it’s all you get from me. And I don’t want to see you again, or I’ll have you dealt with. Understand?” Again, for the first time, the Old man crumbled.

“And…and how do you expect to run twenty-seven companies and eight estates while you’re in college?” He asked, voice portraying his sudden desperation. Kai smirked.

“Don’t you concern yourself over that. It’ll only take a few phone calls and Mrs Kon will become the new Executive Manager of everything I own. She’ll control everything, select independent managers for each establishment if she wishes, and take care of things for me until I’m ready to do it myself. Oh, and of course she’ll have a salary to match. Anything else that concerns you?” Voltaire sneered, his breath a heavy growl as he approached the door.

 

 “You’ll regret this if you do this to me boy, your Boy said it himself – you’re not like me.” Kai glanced to Rei, then back to his Grandfather once more.

“I know. If you were me, you wouldn’t have even given me the money. And in regards to my conscience, if you don’t regret what you did to me in all these years, I don’t think I’ll regret sending you away.”

 

 Kai walked over to the door, opening it. The elderly man from earlier stood there, two other younger, bulkier men in tow. “Please help my Grandfather fetch his things – _his_ things only, and then escort him from the property. Ensure he takes no keys or other things like that with him.” The three men nodded, and with that Voltaire offered him one final glance, before disappearing through the door and their lives forever.

 

 Kai passed Rei, sinking into the chair behind the desk, his head in his hands as he sat there for some time, quite silent. The Obsidian-haired-boy watched him, rubbing his jaw in slow, gentle circles, wiping the blood from his bruised mouth on the back of his sleeve, before approaching Kai. He frowned when the boy didn’t look up, and sat himself on the edge of the desk beside him, staring down at him, touching his shoulder gingerly, his hand shaking, still a little shaken up from before.

 

 “Kai?” he asked carefully, but his eyes widened at the glistening tears that caught the light from between Kai’s fingers. “Kai? Kai, are you okay?” Kai nodded, drawing his hands away as he looked up, smiling despite his tears.

“I just…It’s over…” he answered, his voice husky and shaky, “It’s finally over…” Re gnawed his lips in an attempt to hold back his own tears that brewed upon seeing and feeling his lover’s relief at such an immense pain. An open embrace fell upon Kai’s shoulders, and the Slate-haired-boy leant in towards the warmth offered, feeling the anxiety and the pain fall away.

 

*                 *                 *

 

 The blissful euphoria that gathered about them failed to tremble or fall over the next few days. Even the plane journey home didn’t even dent it. The rude air-hostesses and the screaming children in the seats behind went by, ignored by the two that smiled the hours away. Eventually the Obsidian-haired-boy’s eyelids dropped under the weight of sleep, and he fell into a light doze.

 

 Eyelashes fluttered as he awoke slowly, blinking about him briefly, before realising where he was. He yawned widely, sitting up straighter in his seat as he looked to Kai, who sat beside him, crimson eyes fixed on the laptop balancing on his lap. “Hey Kitten, how was your cat-nap?” Rei narrowed his eyes playfully.

“Fine,” he answered, leaning over and wrapping his arms around Kai’s waist as he stared at the laptop screen.

 

 “Kai?”

“Hn?”

“What’re you doing?” The Slate-haired-boy smirked, fingers dancing swiftly over the touch-pad, clicking on the ‘send’ button on the screen. “Who’re you emailing? And what was it?” Rei asked curiously. Kai flicked his nose mischievously, before placing it with a delicate kiss, careful of his lover’s bruised jaw and cheek, that still looked horribly sore (as did as his throat).

 

 “I’ve made a decision,” he answered vaguely, seizing his plastic cup from the holder before him that the hostess had only recently refilled with water, sipping it slowly, in order to delay the moment when he would have to elaborate. Rei scowled. Kai took far too much pleasure in teasing him.

“Come on, tell me,” Rei persisted, purposefully sounding like a petulant child. Kai patted his head.

“You’ll see, I was just cancelling all things in my Grandfather’s name, and have decided to do something worth while with what _would_ have been his allowance.” Rei watched him intently, causing Kai’s smirk to widen into a grin, “Oh, I’m not gonna tell you,” the Russian boy said simply.

 

 Rei quickly gave up his persistent questioning. The guessing game did not entertain him for very long once he realised Kai was in no way, shape or form going to give him so much as a hint until they got off the plane. _I’ll find out soon enough anyway,_ he thought, when Kai had said at last that he would tell him when they got off, so he could tell all of them at once.

 

 This of course, was another reason to want to get off the plane as soon as possible, and the Raven-haired-boy couldn’t get up and down those stairs quick enough, nearly tripping over his laces in the process. Though Kai descended a with a little more grace than his lover, they both beamed at the sight of Brooklyn and the others waiting for them, a sign all-too bright and drawing far too much attention in their grasp, _‘Welcome back Kai and Rei!’_ in big letters upon it would have been fine by itself, however (as predicted) their friends couldn’t help themselves, and had added: _‘…did you go MILE HIGH when you boinked in the plane toilets?!’_

 

 Kai shook his head, Rei ignoring the sign as he darted forwards to embrace everyone warmly. “Kai’s too manly for a cuddle,” Zeo teased, staring up at his friend from his wheelchair.

“Like the banner, Kai?” Tyson asked, “It was Brooklyn’s idea.”

“Yeah,” Max squeaked, chirping excitedly as he squeezed Rei in an overenthusiastic embrace, “But Tala and Zeo chose the words.” Kai raised a brow at his friends.

“Don’t you give me the _Hiwatari stare_ ,” Zeo laughed, “I’d kick you if I could.” At that Kai’s fake impassiveness softened.

“In light of that statement,” the Slate-haired-boy said, reaching into his pocket, withdrawing an envelope that he then passed to the Green-haired-boy before him. Zeo frowned, turning it over in his hands. “What’s this for?”

“Open it,” Kai said simply.

 

 Still looking unsure, Zeo did as he was told, drawing out the paper within and glancing at it, to Kai, to the paper again, as if he did not fully understand. Kevin leant over his shoulder to see what he was holding.

“It’s a cheque,” Kevin said, eyes bugging. “Whoa, look at that big number of pretty pennies. What ya giving him all that for, Kai?” Each of them looked to Kai, including Rei, who still didn’t understand what Kai was up to.

 

 “It’s simple,” said Kai as expressionlessly as he could manage, “I kicked my Grandfather out, so instead of leaving what would have been his allowance lying in my bank doing nothing, I figured I’d do something worthwhile with it.” Zeo remained confused.

“Buy me an _Ann Summers_ branch?” Kai frowned.

“No – idiot…. That’s a cheque for you to buy physiotherapy treatment, as well as various other things… Things that will help you walk again.”

 

 Zeo blinked once, twice. Suddenly he seized the bottom of Kai’s jacket, dragging him down into a hug.

“Thanks Kai,” he murmured awkwardly into his friend’s neck, “I know I’ve not always done everything to deserve it, but…thank you.” Kai pulled back, smiling.

“You do deserve it, stop being an idiot,” the Russian boy said, noticing that his friend was blushing furiously.

“Normally I’d refuse on behalf of my manly pride and all that,” said Zeo, “but er…I really want it.” Kai laughed, for the first time permitting himself some semblance of unrestrained happiness to show through his troubled exterior. He tasted the freedom on the air as he inhaled deeply. He could confidently say, he was happy to be alive.

 

 

TBC


	46. Darkness Revisited

 

_Darkness Revisited_

_~Forty-Six~_

 

 Rei smiled nervously to Max as he adjusted his shirt for about the eighth time in the last five minutes. He could feel the weight of his classmates’ stares on the back of his neck, an unflattering, awkward blush creeping up his face. Aside from the scars that he’d struggled to hide this morning as he got ready, there was the _small_ factor that everyone now knew he was a figure skater, which, in itself was fine, except for his self-conscious attitude. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, trying to look normal each time Kevin offered him a concerned side-glance.

 

 “…Mr Kon?”  asked the teacher, causing him to sit up a little straighter in his seat.

“Hn?” he asked dumbly, trying to drag himself back to reality. The Teacher straightened his collar, betraying signs of irritation.

“Perhaps you could translate some of your text?” Rei blinked, staring down into his page, his golden eyes flickering to where Kevin’s finger pointed to. “I trust you recognise Chinese when you see it, Mr Kon.” Rei mentally growled, restraining himself from rolling his eyes at the man’s sarcasm. It didn’t amuse, particularly not today…

 

 “I know my own damn language, and I know English too! Geez I could give it to you in Shakespearean if you asked-”

“-And I could also remove you from my class-list Mr Kon, but before I do that why don’t you attempt to translate the text, and I may change my mind.” Rei sneered, lowering his gaze to the page once more as whispers erupted around him. “Silence,” called the teacher, never taking his eyes from Rei, “No doubt Mr Kon requires utmost silence in order to continue. Although he is, without a doubt _used_ to people talking when he is.” His hands tightened into fist on the desk, toes clenching and teeth grinding together as he wrangled his temper.

 

 “ _A lonely impulse of delight drove to this tumult in the clouds; I balanced all, brought all to mind, The years to come seemed waste of breath, a waste of breath the years behind In balance with this life, this death.”_ Rei felt his voice rumble like the growl that it was, and a smirk danced across the teacher’s face.

“And from what poem is this extract, Mr Kon?”

“ _An Irish Airman foresees his Death_ , Sir.”

“And why might I ask did you elect to analyse a _W. B. Yeats_ poem?” Rei shrugged, his ears turning pink as he shifted in his chair once more.

“It’s deep I suppose…”

“ _Deep_?” Rei frowned at his parroting.

“Yeah, depressing I suppose. The guy has issues, don’t we all? He yammers on about how unfair everything is-”

“-It is _war poetry,_ Mr Kon, the name itself tends to suggest unfairness and depression.”

“So does your voice…” he mumbled under his breath, causing Kevin to struggle to hold back a laugh. The Teacher gestured to the door.

“Perhaps you should leave our lesson for today, Mr Kon, come back tomorrow when your attitude has improved.” Rei could feel those eyes upon him once more; his skin burned with anger as he snatched up his books and stomped from the room.

 

 The door slammed behind him and his entire body clenched in aggravation. His back collided with the wall, and he sank to the ground, head in his hands. Why had he let his temper get the better of him like that? He’d dealt with a lot worse than a few casual insults from the teacher. Perhaps it was the confidence that had grown in him over all this time with Kai. _Maybe confidence is a bad thing for people like me, who’ve been starved of it all their lives…_

 

 His eyes raised to the ceiling, regarding the tiles with a thoughtfulness he’d become all too used to recently. _It’s having everyone watching me all the time,_ he realised, _it’s my first day of spring term and It’s getting to me already… Everyone keeps staring at me like I’m some sort of…_

Suddenly his eyes widened as it dawned on him...

_“Mr Kon, Mr Hiwatari, is it true you two are in a relationship?” Rei blinked blindly, whilst Kai’s face remained expressionless._

_“Yeah,” Kai answered._

_“Please Sir,” came another voice, “what kind of relationship?” Rei could only guess that the slate-haired-boy would be wearing that sarcastically disbelieving expression. Wouldn’t he be surprised to find out how right he was?_

_“Homosexual. Boyfriends. Gayish-fag-type-lovers…”_

 

 Why hadn’t he realised before – he and Kai (well more Kai than him) had announced their sexuality and relationship to the national media Industry! _That’s why they’re staring,_ he thought, fingers sifting through his hair irately. He’d never liked any sort of attention from people, since it had almost always resulted in his miniscule confidence taking another blow, and now he and his love-life (which it had taken him 18 years to get) were under the microscope of the masses. _Fabulous,_ he thought, rising up the wall slowly. _Just what I always wanted, more negative attention…_

 

 Suddenly the shrill call of the bell signalling the lesson’s end sounded, causing him to jump slightly as the class door swung open, Kevin making his way to him through the crowds stumbling from the lecture hall. “What’s up with you today, Rei? You like Yeats’ Poetry.” Rei sighed, walking at the boy’s side as they progressed slowly through the halls, the obsidian-haired-boy trying so very hard to ignore the whispering surrounding him.

“I do,” he said quietly, “I just… I’ve always used to have this paranoia that everyone is talking about me… And now it’s getting to me because I _know_ that they are.” Kevin smiled reassuringly.

“It’s Little self-confident to think everyone’s talking about you all the time,” he teased, receiving Rei’s (recently typical) half-smile as they approached the fountains where they were due to meet up with the others.

 

 “I just don’t understand how everybody found out so quickly.” It was then that they stopped in their tracks. The sunlight streamed down from overhead, bathing those in the courtyard with a veil of feigned bliss that they all seemed to be clinging to so violently. And through this dazzling light and bustling crowds of chatty students, Rei saw people he’d almost completely forgotten about during the short-lived bubble of happiness he’d been in since he’d returned from Russia... Aoki, Bryan and their usual furry but unfriendly followers.

 

 Kevin caught where his gaze trailed to, and laid a hand on his shoulder carefully. “They’re just dicks with no asses to boink, you let ‘em get away with little bastard things like this and they’ll get bored. If you show them it’s getting to you they’ll do it all the more.” Rei turned away from the sight, heading heatedly for the fountain, not meeting Kevin’s eyes.

 

 “Yeah, that rule sort of only works in play-group. _Ignore them and they’ll go away…”_ He paused, heaving himself up to sit on the fountain’s edge, tossing his books to a space beside him. “Well I ignored them Kev, I _did_! I ignored them for Christmas break and after gay pride, but there they are, making my life a misery as normal! I thought when you left high school these assholes were supposed to go drown in the gutter! Not follow you around and pick some more like a neurotic flea on a lapdog!” Kevin said nothing, realising his friend’s need for a good rant. And what was a friend there for but to listen? And besides which, he really didn’t know what to say…

 

 “I mean, you get through one moment at a time, and your mother, the teachers they all say that _it’ll be over soon – just get on with your work – they’ll achieve nothing in life –_ was that a myth too like the Easter bunny and Santa?!”

“Well I don’t know about Santa…” Came a voice from the crowds. The boys turned to see Tala, Kai and Max making their way towards them. Naturally, it was the ever-hyper blond that had spoken. “But the Easter bunny _is_ real.” Tala narrowed his eyes at Max as he leant over and seized his boyfriend’s neck in rough affection before kissing the struggling boy on the head. “Max just because you had a bunny and you called it _Easter_ doesn’t mean it’s ‘ _The Easter Bunny’._ ”

 

 “Where’s Tyson?” Kevin asked, hoping to distract the others from their odd conversation.

“He took Zeo to physiotherapy, I couldn’t do it this week –I had a class.” Tala explained. Kai sighed, shaking his head as he hopped onto the stone fountain structure beside Rei, smiling warmly at him as his hand skittered into the boy’s lap. “Are you okay?” he asked quietly, ignoring the mock argument their friends had started over fictitious rabbits. Rei nodded, though Kai merely frowned. “Wanna try answering without lying, and with words maybe.”

 

 Rei sighed, staring off into the thoughtful distance. “Kai, I just don’t want to talk about this right now…” The boy caught his wrist as he moved to turn away.

“What’s this about? Is somebody harassing you?” Rei rolled his eyes.

“Only you, now drop it alright, I don’t want to talk about it.”

“If there’s an _‘it’_ to talk about then there’s a problem. How can I help you if you won’t tell me what it is?” Rei frowned.

“What’re you my mother? I didn’t ask you to help!”

“Well you obviously need it! What’s wrong with you all of a sudden?!”

“I just want everyone to stop looking at me like I’ve got three heads!”

“Why, just because you _suck_ head?” At this they turned, Rei’s guard going up the same as his hand reached out for Kai’s groping in thin air for something that was no longer beside him. Kai had got to his feet, moving between his friends and Aoki, Tala at his side.

 

 “Shame they couldn’t put all the sleaze away behind bars where they belong,” Tala half-growled, arms folded across his chest in a very _thug-like_ way. Aoki twitched.

“Heard from Hiro lately?” Kai asked quietly, that disturbing calmness Rei had come to associate with danger brewing in his barely audible words.

“No one’s heard from him. Not aloud contact is he?” Bryan reminded him bitterly. “He just got out of _Juvi_ and you got him put back inside-”

“-Well he knows what the solution is – keep his hands out of boy’s pants.” Bryan sneered.

“You little-”

“-Whoa there, _Spanky_ ,” Tala intervened, coming between Bryan and Kai. “Unless you want to wake up with you head where your ass should be you’ll keep the designated distance between me and my friends.”

 

 Bryan (who stood head and shoulders above the rowdy red-head) glared from each of the boys, and back to Tala again. “And what exactly is the designated distance?” Aoki asked, his tone mocking.

“About 200 leagues in _that_ direction,” Kai answered, gesturing vaguely off to the side. “The rules are simple, Aoki.” The Slate-haired-boy moved forwards, crimson depths staring into colourless eyes, daring him to strike first. “You come near Rei and the others, and you will be so _very_ beyond _sorry_.”

 

 Again, that smirk twisted Aoki’s mouth in an unnatural way as he regarded them.

“Would you have the same attitude without your gang of fags at your back?” Kai said nothing. He raised a brow thoughtfully, considering the boy before him, before snatching the milkshake from the boy’s hand, tipping the contents over his head. His face remained impassive, the polystyrene cup crumbled on top of the dark-haired-boy’s head, and Kai stepped back to admire his work.

“Your gang of _chavs_ are at _your_ back, why don’t you do something about my attitude?” Aoki stood still, as if frozen, his anger growing so that Rei could have sworn the milkshake on his head would start to boil any moment now. “Guess not,” the Slate-haired-boy said carelessly, picking up Rei’s books. “Let’s leave the flavoured dairy products to spoil shall we?”

 

 Rei said nothing, following in Kai’s wake, as did the others, though never tore his eyes from Aoki and the others until the very last moment. The malice he saw glistening in those inhumanly dark eyes Confirmed his suspicions that, whilst Tala and the others were laughing and rejoicing in Kai’s turn at showing _Aoki_ humiliation, the act itself had been a very, _very_ bad idea. Trouble was brewing, of that he was sure. The sun shone down on the boys below, as well as their classmates, a foreboding calm before the inevitable storm.

 

TBC

 


	47. Something is Real

 

_Something is Real_

_~Forty-Seven~_

 

 The bright days continued to wash over them, though with each moment that passed Rei could feel the tide of days eroding away any sense of bliss that had lingered since his and Kai’s return from Russia. Something felt just… _wrong_ somehow, he could not overcome the fear that something was about to happen. It had been the same day he, Kai and Zeo had nearly been run down. When the sun awoke him every morning he found himself praying the alarm clock would not go off, so that he had an excuse to remain in bed with Kai, where they were safe from the outside world…

 

 Pale fingers tightened on the edge of the sink, head hanging low as dark hair spilled off his shoulders, forming a curtain that shut him off from the harsh light of the room. Eyes clenched together, determined to keep the tears from falling. He could not bring himself to raise his eyes to the mirror, to gaze upon himself…ever again.

 

 Rei could feel the whispers circling his mind, their volume ascending to unbearable heights. He winced in recollection of the bitter, spiteful words that, even now, stung the scars they spoke of like a whiplash.

 

 The same hands that clung to the basin as if for dear life, rose to trace the iridescent disfigurements slowly. He had walked out of English Literature again, he was sure he would be kicked out this time. There was no excusing his behaviour the last few weeks, at least that’s how the teachers saw it. They did not see the constant whispers being passed on from behind those hands, or the way Aoki and the others waited outside his classes to offer their ritual torment before Kai and Tala showed up. They didn’t see anything…they didn’t know anything…

 

 This…whatever the technical term for this torment may be, it was destroying him, driving him to the brink of throwing himself on the floor and screaming his agony to the room. He sniffed heavily, wiping his eyes on his sleeves only to have the tears swell within once more. He was trying to hold it together, the tide of tears was inevitable, if he started, he knew he wouldn’t be able to stop…

 

 “Kitten, you in there?” Suddenly his back straightened, determinedly wiping his eyes once more before turning to the door.

“Y-Yeah,” he answered, voice husky from the brewing tears.

“Kevin said you walked out of English Literature again, are you alright?” Rei paused, trying to rid his voice of that awful raspy sound that betrayed his misery before responding.

“Fine…”

“Is that ‘fine’ spelt: ‘N.O.’?” Rei growled inwardly at Kai’s persistence.

“What’re you doing here Kai?” he asked, rather more bitter than he’d intended.

“I live here too,” the Slate-haired boy answered from behind the bathroom door, the shadow flickering beneath suggesting he was pressed against it to better hear Rei’s response. “And you’re more important to me than classes…” Rei blinked back those infuriating tears again.

 

 “Come out, Kitten,” Kai all-but pleaded after a short silence.

“Why?”

“Because we have practice later – remember the performance we have coming up?” Rei didn’t respond. “And I wanted to make sure you eat something before Brooklyn picks us up. Kitten?”

“I’M FINE!!!” He exclaimed, finally snapping.

“Then why did I hear from the others that some assholes in your class were talking about your scars so you walked out?”

 

 Rei marched to the bathroom door, flicking the lock across and throwing it open so that he scarcely missed slamming it into Kai. “If you _knew_ what was wrong then why did you _ask_?” he questioned heatedly, storming past Kai and trying to find something interesting about anything in the room to look at, so that he could prolong the moment when he’d have to look at Kai again, and have him realised just how _‘not okay’_  he really was.

 

 “I was seeing if you’d tell me first and hey, no surprise that you _didn’t_.” At this Rei spun on his heel to face him, angered tears falling this time.

“Says the guy who didn’t tell me fuck all about himself until _after_ he screwed me!” Kai remained calm, an unusually feat to their arguments.

“I seem to remember a lot of secrecy on your part too. What about what really happened to your dad? I didn’t find out that until we went to Russia. Kitten, you’ve got to stop _listening_ to Aoki and the others so much…”

“What do you want me to do? Go deaf? I’ve already tried blindness; maybe a different disability would benefit me more!”

 

 SMACK! Rei winced as he stumbled slightly from the force of his lover’s palm colliding with his now blemished cheek. Rei stared at him, startled from his anger, and by the fury imprinted on Kai’s face. “If you knew how scared I was for you, you wouldn’t even _joke_ about that… I was ready to die for you that day, do you know that? That’s the day I realised that I couldn’t live without you. As I stood in that hospital, looking at you, begging for you to wake up, you know what I thought? Do you even _care_?!” Rei averted his gaze, he hated Kai looking so… _disappointedly_ at him. “I realised I would kill myself if the world took you away.” At this, Rei lowered himself to the edge of the bed, and Kai followed.

 

 “But the world gave you back to me… And I’m not scared of being hurt anymore. Not like before, with Wyatt… Aoki, My Grandfather, Hiro, _whoever_ , they can knock me down but as long as you’re still fighting I’ll get back up. The only thing I’m scared of anymore is losing you… I was given a second chance, Rei… _We_ were, and I won’t let you waste it by sulking away in the bathroom just because some assholes are staring at you.”

 

 Rei leapt to his feet. “You have _no_ idea what it’s like!” Kai shot up to his level, his voice rising.

“Oh don’t I? Everyone has issues, Rei, its just they target us because we’re different. That’s right, different!” He seized the smaller boy’s shoulders roughly, shaking him when he tried to turn away as if to knock some sense into him. “I’m different because you’re a boy and I love you! Because I’m not afraid to believe love isn’t restricted to the opposite genders!” Rei shoved Kai off him, stumbling slightly from the force.

“Not this ' _boy/boy love is okay'_ speech again…”

“Yes,” Said Kai fiercely, “Because this is where it all stems from isn’t it? I can see it in your eyes when you’re with me in front of other people… You’re trying to love me in front of them, but you just…can’t, because I’m a man…”

“Kai,” said Rei softly, “that’s not-”

“-Because I can tell the difference you know. The way you look at me when we’re in bed, when we’re alone… Why can’t you look at me like that all the time?”

Kai, I-”

“-There’s only one time I’ve seen love in your eyes in public… When you skated with me – when you were blind…” Rei frowned, eyes glistening at the distinct hurt in Kai’s voice. “You had to be blind to love me in public.”

 

 “Don’t…” Rei murmured almost inaudibly. “Don’t make this about you _all_ the time! I love you, I do! I love you so much it _hurts!_ This is about me showing my scars to the world every time I step out that door!” Kai’s brow creased with a frown.

“Just because you can’t see my scars doesn’t mean people don’t still talk about them! Hiro raped me and then Wyatt! You think these people will _ever_ forget that?”

“NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU AND WYATT!!!” Kai’s eyes widened at the Raven-haired-boy’s outburst, that had left the boy quite breathless. The Taller boy said nothing, he seemed incapable of it. “Whatever I do…it doesn’t matter how much you love me, I’m always gonna be compared to him…aren’t I?” Kai shook his head in disbelief, heading towards the door, but not before delving into his pocket and throwing something in Rei’s direction.

“I bought you that today, I was gonna give it to you, but you decide whether I love you enough to keep it or not.” With that he disappeared through the doorway. Rei’s anger flared at his inability to answer the question. “You’re walking away Hiwatari,” He said dangerously, “You walked away from Wyatt and now you’re walking away from me!!!”

 

 The door slammed, and Kai was gone. Rei was alone. It took a moment or two for the realisation to hit him, and his eyes widened. The Obsidian-haired-boy shot over to the phone, dialling in his lover’s number so swiftly he nearly broke the buttons on the phone. “Come on, come on…” he muttered softly, listening to the dial-tone impatiently. Suddenly, something from behind him sounded, and when he turned, he felt like the bottom had dropped out of his stomach. Kai’s phone remained on the desk, flashing as the ringtone sounded. He’d left it behind.

 

 Rei set the phone back on the hook without ever taking his eyes from Kai’s mobile. That was, until he caught sight of the envelope Kai had thrown at him earlier, lying carelessly on the bedroom floor. He moved towards it cautiously, as if it may explode, before picking it up, and tearing it open.

 

 Into his hand fell something small, and glimmering. Looking to the card that had tumbled out alongside it, Rei frowned at the words:

 

 

_To My Little Kitten,_

_I want to spend forever waking up to your beautiful face. I’ve never had anyone – **anyone** that I’ve adored and trusted so thoroughly. You mean the world to me; I just hope one day you will understand how important it is for me to see you smile. Here’s something to bring that smile back to your lovely lips._

_Happy 6 month anniversary!_

_Love Kai_

 

 Rei gasped at the realisation. He’d been so selfish and forgotten that it was 6 months ago they’d met! He could have smacked himself! _I said such awful things to him_ , he thought in a mix of horror and self-loathing, _I pushed him away when he was trying to help me…_ It was true, Kai had said some thoughtless things too, but nothing that warranted the response Rei had offered. The Raven-haired-boy held up the shimmering chain that had fallen into his hand, watching the ring that hung on it catch the light delicately, the embellished letters: _K.R_. catching his attention. His hand moved to his mouth slowly. _What have I done?_

 

*                 *                 *

 

 “Can you move anything now?” Tyson asked interestedly from his place on the sofa with Max and Kevin, as Tala allowed the Zeo to hold onto his shoulder for support.

“Yeah,” answered Zeo, smiling warmly, “I can move both legs completely – but it hurts like hell.” He offered a small laugh, which eased the anxious looked that graced the features of each of his friends. “But seriously, I just can’t support my own weight is all. The Nurse said I should be walking short distances soon.”

“Wow,” said Kevin, observing as Zeo hopped gingerly across the dorm with Tala supporting him. “That Physio’ Kai paid for has really worked wonders.” Zeo nodded enthusiastically, turning to attempt to hop back to his wheelchair, only to stumble and crash into his bed, dragging Tala with him. The Red-head rolled forwards, trying not to fall on the already injured Zeo, and in result slammed into the wall. The boys burst into fits of painful laughter, the giggles worsening when Zeo held up the item responsible for his trip – a rogue pair of Tyson’s underpants.

 

 The Bluenette shrugged, still laughing. “I admit ‘Z’; I’m trying to sabotage your recovery,” he joked.

“You’re just lucky I didn’t break a leg,” Zeo scolded teasingly, as Kevin and Tala both aided him back to his wheelchair. Max frowned.

“You’ve already broke both legs,” he said, looking confused. Zeo offered a perverted smirk.

“I meant the _other_ leg.” Every boy that wasn’t Zeo rolled their eyes, easing back into their seats, just as the phone rang. And rang. Zeo toyed with the wheels of his wheelchair ominously. “Someone get that or I’m going after some toes with this thing.” Instinctually everyone tucked their feet up onto the seats with them, and Kevin got to his feet, rolling his eyes still.

 

 “Hello?” he said, as he lifted the phone from the receiver to his ear. “Rei?” At that name all eyes moved to Kevin and the phone. “What…? His favourite what?” The green haired boy blinked, evidently utterly confused about something. “Hang on, I’ll ask.” He removed the phone from his ear briefly, a frown on his face. “Rei says does anyone know what Kai’s favourite dinner is?” The boys shared a look.

“Cock, with a side-dish of ass, served with quality se-”

“-Rei said no gay jokes,” Kevin told them, looking most un-amused at what his boyfriend nearly said. Tala shrugged.

“Something Russian?” he said.

“PIZZA!” shouted Max excitedly. Everyone looked to him disbelievingly. Tyson frowned.

“I’ll handle this one,” he said to his friends, before turning to Max. “Blondie, Pizza is German.” Kevin sighed heavily at his friend’s stupidity.

“Pizza is Italian, Dick-wad…”

 

 “What do Russians eat anyway?” asked Kevin, cringing at the idea, “ _Tzuschplanflik soup_ or something equally hard to pronounce?” At this point he looked to his boyfriend, who raised a brow at his words. “Oh, right, sorry Baby.”

“ _‘_ Because Chinese food is _so_ much better,” muttered Tala sarcastically, “don’t you guys eat dogs?”

“Now, now then children,” Zeo said, rolling across the room, taking out a few toes in the process before snatching the phone from Kevin and shooing him with his hand.

 

 “Listen, Rei? Yeah, it’s Zeo… Listen, he likes Lasagne, but don’t make him that if you’re had a big argument because it’s an easy dinner. Go for a full-out Roast, it requires more effort and therefore means less kissing-up afterwards. Okay…? Don’t ask… Yeah, see ya…. Bye.” The Soft beep sounded as he set the phone down, turning to his friends, only to see the staring at him oddly.  “What?”

“How do you know Kai’s favourite dinner?” Zeo smirked, scratching the back of his neck idly.

“Well I-”

“You lost a bet and ended up cooking for him didn’t you?” asked Kevin blankly.

“Oh yeah…” Zeo admitted.

 

*                 *                 *

 

 Rei sighed he stepped back to look at his work. Kai had been gone a while, but that was to be expected, he was cooling off, he had a right to that, and Rei was going to make sure he made it up to him when he arrived home again. The crisp white table cloth was spread out over their small table, candles were lit, the food was served, ready for when he walked in. Which he was sure would be any minute now – for many reasons. One of which being that he’d left all his money and cards behind, meaning he couldn’t afford to eat, sleep, drink or _pee_ anywhere else. 

 

 The Obsidian-haired-boy smiled at his work, moving over to dim the lights slightly, before switching on the Stereo. Throwing himself onto the sofa Rei sighed heavily, deciding all he could do was wait until the boy’s return. The calming music soothed his racing nerves as he waited, and waited…

 

 The candles flickered, flames glowing through the dimness, melting wax sliding down as the night drew on, until Rei had lost all sense of time. He closed his eyes against the room, trying to shut it all out. Something was wrong, Rei just knew it somehow. Had something happened to him? His heart thudded furiously in his chest at the thought. Or what if…he just wasn’t coming back?

 

 The CD replayed itself for what he knew must have been the millionth time. Soft dulcet tones swam over his ears as he felt the anxiety sap what little energy remained after crying for so much, for so long. The world fell into a dreamy haze about him, he was only semi-aware of the songs repeating again as he drifted into an uneasy doze…

 

*                 *                 *

 

**_“I need to hear you say goodbye._ **

**_I don't know why I hang around.”_ **

 

 The lyrics of the song were what awoke him, or had it been them at all? Perhaps, something else… Rei frowned at the feel of the hair at his forehead being disturbed. Dark lashes fluttered, and he startled, seeing Kai lingering over him, an odd look flickering in those eyes. “Kai?” Rei asked, sitting up a little straighter. He cast a quick glance over to the stereo. Track 19, which meant he’d been asleep for a while now…

 

  _Well there goes dinner,_ he thought sadly, recalling how much effort he’d put in to make sure everything was perfect, only to have it all spoiled….

****

**_“You will soothe the pain within my eyes_ **

**_and then you leave without a sound.”_ **

 

 “Rei, listen I-”

“-Kai I’m sorry,” Rei interrupted, golden eyes glistening in the dim room, and he allowed Kai to catch a glimpse of the ring that was trapped in his palm tightly. “I…I ruined everything, for us. I didn’t even remember… I’ve been so selfish lately, and I’m…I’m sorry…” He paused then, staring into those melancholy eyes as Kai failed to respond. Rei felt is panic rise at the silence that fell over them. Something was wrong…

 

 “Kai?” he asked softly, again the boy showed no response. The Obsidian-haired-boy circled round the sofa to stand before him, capturing his gaze. “What’s wrong?”

“Everything…” Kai muttered, a hopeless sadness to his voice. “Everything’s a mess…”

“Kai?”

“I thought everything was perfect, with us but…now I realise…that’s just how I wanted to see it, because I was too afraid to admit it…” A fearful glaze overcame the Chinese boy’s vision, and he swallowed nervously.

****

**_“Show me a sign and I'm_ **

**_taking you home._ **

**_Give me the time to show_ **

**_how I have grown.”_ **

 

 “It’s nothing,” Rei assured him, “its just Aoki and the others, it’ll be over soon, I’m sure-”

“-But that’s not _it_ ,” growled Kai, cutting across him with bitterness ebbing at his words, “there’s always gonna be someone like that trying to tear us down, trying to split us up – because we’re guys. And some people can handle that together but…we can’t…” Rei’s eyes widened, fresh tears brewing upon realising where this was heading.

“I’m trying!” he insisted, the tears evident in his voice, “It’s just hard sometimes, but I’ll try harder!”

 

 Kai shook his head, averting his gaze. “It’d be cruel to make you suffer like this anymore…”

“It’d be cruel, and selfish and STUPID to leave me after EVERYTHING we’ve been through!” Rei felt his anger swelling as the panic hammered in his chest. This wasn’t happening… “Or was it all a lie? Were you lying when you told me you loved me? When you said you’d die without me? What happened to the Kai I woke up with this morning?!” There was a short pause, in which Kai wet his lips distractedly.

 

 “It’s not a lie…I love you, that’s why I just…I just think it’d better, better for you if we weren’t lovers anymore. It’s destroying you, I can see that,” he added when he watched Rei open his mouth to argue. “Every day a piece of you is dying because of what Aoki is putting you through, because you’re with me.”

****

**_“Under the old back porch you knew_ **

**_I loved you more than there and so,_ **

**_you will let me fall back on my own_ **

**_and where you were I'll never know.”_ **

 

 Shaking his head defiantly Rei cried out, blinking back defiant tears. “And what about fighting for what we believe in? Isn’t what we have worth it to you?”

“ _Nothing_ is worth your life, and your happiness, and the only way you’ll be able to smile again is if you find someone else…because obviously I’m not enough to make you smile anymore…”

 

**_“Show me a sign and I'm_ **

**_taking you home._ **

**_Give me the time to show_ **

**_how I have grown.”_ **

 

 Treacherous tears cascaded down the smaller boy’s cheeks, and he winced at the words as if they had struck him. A burning agony grated against his throat where a lump had risen, and he tried to suppress a sob. “You said you wanted to be with me forever!!!” he exclaimed. Kai frowned, his own eyes reflecting the same sadness from within that Rei had given in to.

 

 “Sometimes you have to give up the thing you want the most, to help the one you love…”

“I never asked you to make any sacrifices! I never wanted it to stop! I’d gladly live in this _misery_ forever as long as you’re here too!” Kai gnawed his lip, struggling not to let these tears get to him.

“And that’s why I have to leave, before you destroy yourself just being with me… You’re life was fine before I came along and dumped the weight of my problems on you…”

“I was a loser before! You made me realise I was more than that!” Rei cried, his voice rising as he watched Kai turn from him. He felt something inside him screaming out in anguish. Kai couldn’t leave him.

****

**_“There'll be sun, and_ **

**_all eyes fall from heaven now._ **

**_See that I walk on._ **

**_That way.”_ **

 

 Kai didn’t face him, he physically couldn’t. He felt his resolve slipping each time he looked into those eyes that just begged to be comforted. It was killing him inside to turn away when the person he loved most was all-but screaming out for him to stay. But he couldn’t… Even though living without Rei was like trying to live without oxygen, there was just no way this could work anymore, not for Rei anyway, and Rei was the most important thing to him. He could suffer anything to know that all this would let him be alive, and happy, like he was before…

 

**_“So to the fall..._ **

**_all stares, all breaks and no breaths._ **

**_Yeah, I walk on through the listen.”_ **

 

 Kai inhaled heavily, seizing his wallet and phone off the side and throwing them alongside a few other things into his bag. “K-Kai,” said Rei softly, attempting to hold back the tide of tears once more. “I’ll do anything – anything if you stay. Give me one more chance, _please_ …” Kai stopped, but did not turn.

“It’s not you; it’s what I’ve done to you… There’s nothing you could do…” He moved towards the door, the last fleeting hope taking hold of Rei as he shot forwards, standing between Kai and the door. He drew in a shaky breath, the two of them locking eyes as a long silence fell.

 

 Rei leant forwards, pressing a chaste kiss to those lips that he adored, before drawing back every-so-slightly to consider that expression. “Do you want me to beg?” he asked, his husky voice barely audible. “Because I will, if that’s what it takes to get you to stay…” Kai said nothing, and Rei felt his lower lip tremble despite himself. Seeing that his _lover_ had not changed his mind he dropped to his knees in his last ditch effort, head hung low so that his tears were not visible. “Please…” he murmured, “please don’t leave me… If…If you loved me you wouldn’t leave me…”

 

 It was then that Kai lowered himself to the Chinese boy’s level, tilting his chin up so that he could meet those eyes briefly, before diving in for a kiss. He felt Rei sob against the embrace, their mouths meshing together hungrily, desperate to memorise everything there was to learn. And when they drew back, Kai met his eyes once more, a few rogue tears leaking from them. “So what was that?” Rei asked quietly, and Kai rose to his feet. “That was… _Goodbye_ , Rei…”

 

**_“So you're sad, I turn away_ **

**_to find out what I can be and so,_ **

**_all these colors that shine within my soul,_ **

**_and all I am, you'll never know.”_ **

 

 Kai moved past him, the breeze that he create in doing so brushing against the tear-stained cheeks of the one who remained on the floor-unmoved, in doing so whisking away any shred of hope, and the door opened and closed behind him, the darkness of the world settling in, until he felt the room spin.

 

 He curled up on the ground until the spinning stopped. Crying so much without replenishing his body’s water supply was taking its toll on his body, he needed to drink something, but he felt sick at the thought of any form of sustenance. What was the point in it all anymore? His world had crumbled around him, and yet it still continued to turn. Why? Why did he suffer whilst the world carried on like he was nothing? Kai’s kiss lingered on his lips still… Why did this happen? _What_ had just happened? He felt that dizziness return. He felt really sick. His stomach offered a foreboding lurch. His head throbbed with the cries but yet they failed to cease, just like everything else that hurt but never stopped.

 

**_“Show me a sign and I'm_ **

**_taking you home._ **

**_Give me the time to show_ **

**_how I have grown.”_ **

 

 Gathering himself to his feet shakily, he made his way over to the room, blowing out the dying candles before carrying the now cold dinners over to the kitchen area. It hurt to stop, so he didn’t. The tears continued to flow as he scooped the untouched food into the left-over tubs and stored them in the fridge. The washing up, the clearing away, it all served as some blissful distraction where he could just exist, and not have to dwell on anything that made that burning return to his chest.

 

**_“Mmmm... it all works in_ **

**_all harboured lands._ **

**_Something is real here,_ **

**_my real bonney lass._ **

**_Something is real here and it's real there._ **

**_It's real here._ **

**_Something's habit and some..._ **

**_some things happen.”_ **

 

 The last sounds of the song died away and Rei switched the stereo off, before downing the glass of water with the two small sleeping pills in. He would feel better after he slept, or at least, that’s what he kept telling himself as he climbed into the bed that felt so empty without that other body beside him. His body tucked into itself, conserving what little warmth he possessed. Pulling one of the larger pillows to his chest he wrapped his arms round it, in place of…that missing warmth. He’d feel better after he slept. That’s what he kept repeating to himself; he had to keep telling himself that things would get better, because there was no one else there to do so for him. No one else would soothe his cries, or dry the tears that eventually lulled him to sleep...

 

TBC

* * *

Song: "Twister" by Remy Zero - not mine.


	48. Just Empty

 

_Just Empty_

_~Forty-Eight~_

 

 There would be no relenting of the darkness come morning. The sun did not stream through the open windows upon a lovers’ embrace. The light remained blocked out by the drawn blinds, the dark room absent of any life save for the boy still curled around the pillow he clung to like a lifeline. How many times had he reached forwards across the bed during the night? Countless times he’d felt himself seeking some reassurance to the horrible nightmare, only to find nothing there, to find that this was the painful reality, not a nightmare at all, though it felt like one…

 

 The alarm sounded, and he tossed it aside to be forgotten. He’d get up when he was ready. At least that’s what he intended. Now awake he lingered in the silence. There wasn’t anything. The quiet pressed in on him, crushed his chest so that he felt he could not draw in air. He had to get up; he had to do anything to stop thinking about…the pain…

 

 Suddenly he leapt up. That sound. There was someone at the door. Pulling on some jeans and struggling to drag a shirt over his head, Rei kicked the bedroom door open, stumbling into the living area and the front door. “Who is it?” he called out, not much caring for the answer.

“It’s Neil Haynes, Mr Kon. I would like a word with you if it’s not an inappropriate time.” Rei blinked once, twice. Then he realised who it was. The Dean? He opened the door slowly, face-to-face with the very same smiling brown-haired man who had greeted them all at the beginning of the year. _But I’ve had nothing else to do with him,_ Rei thought, _why the hell is he here?_

 

 “Mr Haynes,” he said as courteously as he could manage, “Umm… Listen about my morning classes, I’m sorry I wasn’t there this morning I was just-”

“-Do you mind if I come in, Rei?” The Chinese boy nodded, stepping aside so that the man could walk inside, and as he closed the door behind them, watched him take in the surroundings before planting himself on a nearby chair. “Very nice – what you and Mr Hiwatari have done with the apartment. Is Kai not here?” Rei didn’t say anything, he couldn’t bear to say it, but apparently he didn’t need to. That look on the slowly aging man’s face, an expression of painful understanding and sympathy, he couldn’t bear it…

 

 “Your teachers tell me they want you out of their classes, Rei,” he said at last, after an unbearable silence, “now under any other circumstances I would let them do as they please, however…” he paused, studying the boy’s face carefully. “I asked them to give you another chance. You are by far the best overseas student. But besides that… Not everyone is oblivious to your pain.” Rei frowned, tilting his head slightly in confusion.

“Sorry?” The Man smiled at his response.

“I know that you may feel like the world ignores what’s going on, but I wish for you to know that not everyone is blind to what happens, and certainly not everyone – least of all I condone it…” When Rei continued to stare at him as if he’d just sprouted a second head he elaborated. “What you and your friends suffer every day, I understand it… Particularly what you have suffered in the last few months, but with the accident and the court case...”

 

 Suddenly Rei realised where this was going, and sighed heavily. “I’m not going off the rails because I’m gay,” he said quite emotionlessly, “It’s not just that, it’s everything else on top of it. So you can just-”

“-Are you sure that your problems are separate? Perhaps it didn’t occur to you that they may be connected in some way? Your scars, your sexuality, your relationship with Mr Hiwatari?” The Old Rei would have at least blushed, but nowadays he didn’t even care enough to be embarrassed.

“Yeah, that’s what Kai was getting at, I suppose… It doesn’t matter anyway, not anymore…” He trailed off, watching his feet shuffle uncomfortably on the floor as if they were the most interesting thing in the world.

 

 “Believe it or not,” Haynes said carefully, “I understand what it’s like… It’s a lonely, difficult journey when you dare to be different. But worth it. All those people that make our lives a misery…they strive every day to be the same as everyone else, whether they realise it or not. They’re pointless. But our struggling is worth it.” Rei rolled his eyes.

“So I’ve heard, but I’ve had no rewards. I fight, and I try but it never gets me anywhere. I thought it was okay…worth it when I had Kai but…” he cut himself off as he realised what he was saying, eyes glazing over with bitter tears. “You really don’t understand how I feel, Mr Haynes…” The man rested his chin on his intertwined fingers thoughtfully.

“And how do you feel?” Rei considered the ridiculous question just then. That sharp, throbbing agony that was slowly suffocating him… How could he explain that? No words depicted this misunderstood pain.

“Just…Empty…”

 

 Haynes sighed, gesturing for Rei to take the seat opposite him before continuing. “Everyone suffers, some more than others. But for the latter the reward is that much more beautiful. I suspect you boys have enough old men lecturing you on how this is just one small portion of your life, and how the next can only get better if you’ve hit rock bottom. But do you know what the truth is, Rei?” The Chinese boy shook his head, not really interested. “Those old men – this old man, is right about that. If Kai doesn’t come back you will move on to something better, but if he does…”

 

 The man rose slowly, turning to the door. “Wait,” Rei said, calling him back, “what if Kai comes back?” Haynes stood there in the open doorway, still smiling warmly at him.

“If he did come back, what would you do differently?” The Dean asked hypothetically. Rei gnawed his lip.

“I’d realise that the argument happened to make me realise how much I lo…need him, I guess… And that no one else matters…Aoki and the others, I wouldn’t care anymore, only Kai’s opinion matters.” Haynes nodded, stepping into the hall.

“Then if Kai comes back, you’ll know that you were meant to be, and you’ll have no reason to doubt anything anymore…” There was a pause, before Haynes spoke again. “Hope your teachers see you in class, Rei.”

 

 With that the door closed, and Rei remained there, alone again, and no less confused than before, though perhaps, about different things this time. The pain still ebbed away, but with this new revelation to distract him, it was a just a dull, empty ache…

 

*                 *                 *

 

 “Hey,” said Zeo mischievously, his friends behind him pausing alongside him. “Do you think I could do a wheelie in this thing?” Kevin (who was pushing the chair) frowned disapprovingly.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. You’re starting to improve rapidly; we don’t need you to break something else.” He seemed to wilt a little, a jokingly petulant expression on his face as they continued up the corridor towards the lunch hall, where the three of them had promised to meet Tala and Tyson.

“So how do you think it went with Kai and Rei yesterday? Max asked cheerily, gaze flickering to the warm day beyond the window-less arches. Zeo and Kevin shared a look, to which Max merely blinked, evidently confused.

 

 “Kai skipped out,” Zeo said quietly, sadly. The Blonde’s brow creased with a frown.

“Really? But then… Geez, poor Rei… Do you know what Kai left for?” Kevin remained silent, but Zeo answered.

“I only know Kai left because he stopped by Tala’s last night when I was round – then he left again. Seems it was _‘for Rei’s own good’_ or something crap like that…”

“Guess they had an argument,” Max said mournfully.

“Actually we had a few of them.” The three boys turned to the voice, finding Rei standing behind them, ashen skin standing out startlingly against tamed obsidian hair.

“Gods, Rei,” Zeo murmured, swatting Kevin’s hands off the wheelchair so he could turn himself round to face the Obsidian-haired-boy properly. “You look awful. Rei feigned a smile.

“Thanks, Zeo… I’m alright, I guess as much as I can be.” Kevin worried his lip between his teeth, considering his friends broken expression, and what to say…

 

 “Look, we’re going into lunch to meet with Tyson and Tala. You wanna come?” Re shrugged, shifting his book-bag higher up his shoulder.

“I gotta go get my Literacy books, I‘ll be there in a minute-”

“-I’ll go with you!” Max offered quickly, dropping his own bag into Zeo’s lap and stepping to Rei’s side. “You go on ahead, we’ll catch you up,” he said to the other two, as he and Rei moved towards the book lockers.

 

 “You know, as much as its appreciated,” Rei said softly pausing beside one of the lockers to pull out his required books, “the escort isn’t necessary.” Max smiled.

“Just keeping you company. It must be lonely all the time – without Kai. I thought you could do with the company.” The Chinese boy forced himself to smile in return, closing the locker after heaving the books into his arms.

“Yeah, thanks Max.”

 

  Suddenly, a shadow cast over them. “Hey! Kon!” Rei and Max turned, coming face to face with Aoki.

“Piss of Aoki, I’m not in the mood,” Rei brushed him off, turning to walk away. Aoki sneered, knocking the books that Rei was carrying out of his arms. The raven-haired boy scowled, dropping to his knees to pick them up.

“What’s the matter? Not so brave without Tala and Kai around to protect you?” Rei said nothing, not letting his taunts get through. “Come on, you can smack Bryan but not me?” asked the Dark-haired-boy, putting his foot on one of the books to stop Rei from retrieving it.

 

 The Chinese boy growled under his breath, mentally counting to ten. What is with this jerk? This was all because of him, and he was still trying to make this worse?

“Back off.” Ordered Max, shoving Aoki back. Rei regained his feet, shoving the books in his bag, as Aoki recovered. The powder blue haired boy grimaced, stepping back to the blond.

“Stupid bitch!” Rei’s eyes widened as he looked up just as Aoki smacked Max across the face.

 

 “Hey! What the fuck is your problem?!” yelled Rei, moving between Aoki and his friend.

“You’re my fucking problem you fag – _you_!” Rei winced as Aoki snatched him by his collar, smacking his back hard against the wall. Max watched as Aoki’s ‘followers’ advanced in around them, and moved to help Rei. Max stopped as he felt a hand on his shoulder, stopping his from advancing, before the person stepped forwards…

 

 “What’s my sexuality got to do with you? It’s none of your business!”

“It is when it’s publicly viewed,” Aoki spat. “I’m gonna smash your face up so bad – even Kai won’t wanna fuck you!” Rei winced, as Aoki was seized by his hair, his face making a hard collision with the wall. The Obsidian-haired boy glanced upwards, eyes glazing over slightly as he saw Kai, slightly out of breath.

“K-Kai?”

“Are you okay?” he asked. Rei nodded, noting that he looked a little worse for wear.

“Afternoon, ‘ _Lover’_ ,” jeered Bryan. Kai sneered.

“Don’t you screw ups have anything better to do?” Bryan lunged forwards, socking the Slate-haired-boy in the jaw, making Kai boy stumble back. Kai punched the silver-haired man in the stomach, just below his ribs, watching those eyes widened as he froze with pain, before shoving Rei roughly out of harm’s way. Max scrambled forwards to yank Rei to his feet. Watching Kai’s image swallowed up by the boys bundling on top of him. Rei’s eyes widened in fear.

“Kai!”

“Rei, wait-” Ignoring Max’s voice Rei jumped forwards, merely succeeding in being shoved back onto his butt. “Fuck…” he growled as blood dripped from his nose, watching more people crowding round.

 

 Rei scrambled to his feet, turning speeding up the hall and into the cafeteria. Gold eyes flickered across the tables. Dammit, where are they?! His breath grated against his throat as he dashed across the crowded cafeteria, shoving people out of his path. Spinning round he caught sight of Tala, Tyson, Kevin and Zeo at a table and ran over to them. Slamming his hands down on the table, the boys all jumped looking at their breathless friend.

“Rei?” asked Tyson, “Are you-”

“-I’m fine, it’s Kai – he’s-” he sucked in a quick breath. “They’ve got Kai, quick! They’re gonna kill him!” Tala and the other jumped to their feet, following Rei, and Max (who had only just caught up with him), back to the corridor.

 

 “Hey!” Tala yelled, having no effect on the crowd. “Get off!” Rei fought to regain his breath as he watched Tala fight his way in towards where he guessed Kai was. It wasn’t helping…there was too many…

 

 He and the others seemed to have the same thought. Tyson and Kevin seized two guys off the crowd, throwing them to the side as Zeo finally reached them, pausing a little ways away, completely helpless.

 

 Immediately diving down to the gap in the masses, he seized Kai’s arm, hauling him to his feet. Suddenly he let out a piercing cry as one of the boys grabbed him by his hair, dragging him backwards, taking a blade to the obsidian tresses. Fury flared in Kai’s eyes as he surged forward.

“Get – OFF OF HIM!” Screamed Kai, turning and shoving the boy backwards so that he knocked the others back on the way. Aoki and Bryan regained their footing, eyes boring into Kai’s and Tala’s as Kevin and the others collected at their side as if in defence.

 

 “The cavalry won’t always come to save you Hiwatari,” muttered Aoki, making Kai sneer at him, “after all, none of you were there for Wyatt, were you?” Kai went to go after him, but Rei’s arm round him stopped him. “Nothing to say in your dead lover’s defence? Or perhaps just not in your new one’s defence?”

“THAT’S ENOUGH!” They all looked startled by Rei’s outburst, including Rei himself. “Stop going through a dead boy to get to Kai, he suffered for years before he finally passed away and now you can’t even let him rest in piece, much less show some RESPECT!”

 

 Attempting to alleviate the evident brewing guilt, Aoki sneered. “Wyatt was Hiwatari’s only weak spot, everyone knew that, that’s why Wyatt was the one to take the stick when Hiwatari-”

“-That’s not it! Kai isn’t weak, because he doesn’t stoop to your level. You have a problem with us falling in love with other men, but if that was something that was under our control don’t you think we’d have stopped by now? With all the stick we take from you because of it… If we could, we would but we can’t stop because it’s who we are!”

 

 Rei was surprising himself, especially since Aoki and the others actually seemed to be listening to him. “The only reason you do this is because we’re people that dare to be different, because we know what we want out of life and are faithful to that as well as each other.” Rei took in a breath. “We have the power over you, because we never give up in what we believe in, in who we are. And you, you scum you just follow the crowd, just like now.” The remark caused Aoki to look around at the doubtful looking crowd. “But let me tell you, one day that crowd will turn on you, just like they did to us today, and suddenly you’ll realise exactly what is wrong in this world. It’s not people like us, it’s people like you.”

 

 There was a lingering silence in the air. Aoki and the others looked stunned, as Rei slowly followed his friends back down the corridor. _What just came over me?_ Thought Rei, _I just stood up for myself, and it actually worked?!_

 

*                 *                 *

 

 Kai winced as Tala held an icepack over his jaw, Rei gazing at him thoughtfully from the end of Zeo’s bed where he sat with Max – Kevin and Tala remaining next to Kai on Tyson’s bed.

“What exactly happened?” asked Tala, getting Kai to hold the icepack while he brushed the sickly smelling substance that he was using to keep the swelling down, over Kai’s wounds. Kai looked at him reproachfully as he touched over a particularly sore blemish.

“They started on Rei…”

 

 The Chinese boy looked down at his feet sadly as they tapped absentmindedly on the floorboards. “It’s all my fault…” the Raven-haired boy mumbled, causing his friends to look at him. “They started on me, and you all got hurt trying to protect me…” Kai frowned, causing a painful tingling in his eyes, where a dark bruising was brewing.

“It wasn’t your fault…” he muttered, though Rei noted how he couldn’t even look at him.

 

 Kevin coughed loudly, and Tala looked to him, as well as Zeo and Tyson, who looked up from their sprawled state on the floor. Kevin gestured with his head towards the door, and Tala nodded. Gingerly, due to the collision of his shin with someone’s foot, he got to his feet, looking down at his friend.

“Will you be okay?” Kai nodded, and watched with Rei as their friends exited the room; in turn hearing them open and close the front door behind them. This left Rei and Kai dwelling in one of those awkward silences the two had become known for lately, each on opposite beds, not meeting each other’s eyes.

 

 Rei didn’t know where to begin. He was so angry and happy at the same time. He was so angry at Kai for leaving, for scaring him, for not staying when he’d begged him to, and at the same time he was happy that he was safe, and sitting there in that room with him again.

 

 Still, finally, he seemed to find his voice. “You left me…”

“I know,” replied Kai quietly, not meeting his eyes still.

“You abandoned me; did you not even consider my feelings?”

“I did Rei, just listen to-”

“-No! I’m sick and tired of listening to the crap that comes out of your mouth!” Kai finally looked up to him. “You know how I am, how I always blame myself, did it not occur to you that you skipping out on me would just send me right off the deep end?”

“Rei, I know, but I didn’t mean-”

“-I’m talking right now!” yelled the Raven-haired boy, slightly hysterical. “I apologised for how I was, even though it wasn’t my fault. I can’t do anything more than apologise! And anyway you’re a selfish bastard, a stupid selfish-” Rei cut off, Kai swallowing his words as a deep, passionate kiss was forced against his mouth. Kai winced as Rei struggled, thumping hard against Kai’s chest to try and force him off.

 

 Tears spilled down his cheeks, before he leaned against the kiss, kissing back, all his anger and frustration pouring into Kai through their embrace. Whimpering against the kiss as he entangled his fingers in Kai’s hair, they tumbled onto Rei’s bed, Kai crawling over Rei’s hips a little more before they broke apart, gasping for air.

 

 Rei smiled as Kai brushed away his tears with his thumb. “You’re a bastard…” Kai smirked.

“You’ve said that already.” Rei wet his lips slightly. “I was so scared…I thought you’d left me forever.” Kai smiled reassuringly, gazing deep into tearstained orbs. “You just left…I thought I’d never see you again…and it’s all my fault.”

“No it’s not-”

“-Yes it is, everything is my fault…”

“Hey,” Rei looked up at him, his lip trembling slightly. “None of this, is your fault…I just hope you realise that one day.”

“You’re so full of crap,” Rei said with a smile, rousing one from Kai in return.

“And you’re so gorgeous…” Rei gave him a mischievous smirk.

“Whenever you say that I end up on my back-”

“Not true, once you were standing up.”

“-And your dick ends up my ass.”

“Maybe I should say it more often then.” Rei smiled.

“Or not.”

“Saying you don’t like it?”

“I never said that, I just meant that it’s not the best feeling in the world when you wake up afterwards.”

“It gets better.”

”Wait, wait I think I’ve heard this one before.”

“Take your pants off.” Rei giggled slightly as Kai dropped kisses down his neckline.

“Ever the romantic I see.” He mused. “Kai?”

“Yeah?”

“I…really missed you…” Kai smiled warmly at him, tears spilling down Rei’s cheeks again.

“I missed you too.”

 

 Kai pulled back to strip his upper body. Noting the strange look on Rei’s teary face, “What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Kai, why did you leave?” Kai regarded him with glassy, crimson orbs.

“I told you… Our being together, it was making you miserable.” Rei straightened up, crawling out from under Kai slightly.

“Aoki was making me miserable!” He argued, “You were the only thing keeping me sane!” Kai frowned.

“Sometimes we can’t see what’s best for us, so other people have to decide-”

“-Who asked you to decide anything?”

 

 They moved apart as the anger rose. “I begged you to stay and you left!”

“Because I love you so much!” Kai argued.

“That’s bullshit! If you loved me at all you’d have stayed!”

“You have _no_ idea how hard it was to walk away from you last night, so don’t _even-_ ”

“-I could have killed myself last night! That’s how much you hurt me! All because you left when I thought you were the one person I could count on!” Kai shook his head, getting to his feet slowly.

“We’re arguing again…” He murmured softly. Rei bolted to his feet.

“We’re always arguing! And don’t pretend it’s always my fault!” he paused, meeting Kai’s eyes.

“This is why left! But I saw you today; I couldn’t just leave you to get beaten on! Just because we’re not together doesn’t mean I can’t love you.” Rei frowned.

“So you’re still not staying?” Kai didn’t answer. “Answer me! Are you honestly gonna leave me again? After all that I said! Today I stood up to those guys, I shouted my sexuality to the world and you still say I can’t love you in public? What crap is this?!”

“And that was good! You finally stopped them after years of their tormenting but it hasn’t changed anything about you.” Rei sighed, scooping up his bag before heading over to the door.

“I’m in love with you – I’d give up anything for you, I’d die for you if you asked,” he murmured softly, a sadness quite foreign to his voice befalling his words, “so why can’t you just stay when I ask you to?” Kai didn’t answer, even as Rei disappeared beyond the now closed door.

 

*                   *                   *

 

 How long had it been since he’d left Kai at Zeo’s to come back? The Obsidian-haired-boy stared about him, the empty place surrounding him offering no more than a soul-destroying echo; it was…just that…empty. How many times had he imagined that door opening and Kai stepping through? It hurt his already throbbing head to try and recall. Minutes ticked away with all the speed of an hour. It was like time had abandoned this room completely.

 

 Suddenly, as if the clock had started ticking again, the door opened, disturbing the still silence, and causing Rei to jump to his feet. Kai disregarded his presence completely, and moving through to their bedroom. Rei followed standing in the doorway and watching as Kai threw the contents of his wardrobe into a nearby suitcase.

 

 “What’re you doing?” Rei asked, not sure he wanted to know the answer. The Slate-haired boy paused, turning to look at him.

“I’ve arranged to stay elsewhere until the end of the semester, until you can get a room of your own.” Rei eye’s widened, Kai turning his attention back to cramming his clothes in his bag. “You can have the dorm until the end of the year, but after that I’m moving back in so you’ll have to start looking for another one.” He stopped briefly, taking the picture off the bedside table and putting It into the case before forcing it closed.

“But you can’t just leave, just because we’re not together doesn’t mean we can’t live in the same dorm!”

“It’d just make it harder for you if I was still here, and besides… If I stay I won’t be able to keep myself. And you won’t be able to move on…”

 

 Kai seized the suitcase, moving over to the door, stopping as Rei lay his hand on his arm. “Stay with me…” He murmured softly, eyes imploring his once lover to heed his request. “If you leave me now what was the point in _anything_. All that time we struggled to stay together and now you just give up?” Kai lowered his gaze to the chain hanging around Rei’s neck, and the ring he had bought him suspended from it. Long fingers skimmed over it thoughtfully as he spoke.

“You’re wearing it,” he said, his voice almost a whisper.

“Because I love you,” Rei answered. “Because I want us to be together forever like you said!” Kai shook his head.

“It’s not worth it if you’re I pain-”

“-No, NOTHING is worth it if you’re not here _with_ me. Why are you _doing_ this to me?!” Slowly, as if there was something within him that was trying to cling to the boy beside him, Kai drew away from him, and departed into the hall.

 

 Rei felt anger surge inside him. What kind of lover would walk away? Abandon him? After everything he’d suffered. Kai would not even offer the simple comfort of his affection. He darted into the hall after him, nearly knocking over Tala and the others who had evidently been coming to visit, and also a few others from the dorms next-door. “STAY!” He screamed, tears swelling within his eyes. “Stay with me! You want me to love you in public?! Well here it is – Don’t leave me!” He shot forwards, seizing the front of Kai’s jacket and meshing their lips together. The Slate-haired-boy pushed him back.

“Stop it Rei-”

“-No YOU stop! Stop doing this to me! I don’t want to be without you! You think I’ll move on to someone else but I wont because I love you! I can’t move on from the person that showed me what living really was!”

 

 They stared a moment, eyes locked in a silent debate. A sadness seemed to glimmer in crimson eyes as they caught the overhead lighting, and he turned, as if in slow-motion, from everything he knew and loved. Even the air seemed to offer a freezing bitterness. That fury returned as the inner agony pounded in his chest. A fire coming to life inside him as the slick heat of the pain coursed through him.

 

 "I HATE YOU!" Kai flinched, however, did not turn to face the Smaller-boy. Through their very unstable relationship, a lot of things had been said, a lot of things had happened. But Rei had never said he hated him, much less screamed it at him. _I guess this time really is the last,_ he thought.

 

 Rei looked at him through tear stained eyes, many more curious eyes watching the pair from all around, watching what was going on closely. For a moment Rei thought he was going to turn round. But then he heard Kai's voice, but only just.

“Have a nice life, Rei...” he muttered, walking away from Rei and the people that had stopped to stare. Rei watched him go with wide eyes. _Turn around..._ he thought, as he watched Kai get further and further away. _Please, turn around..._

 

 Suddenly the crowds in the distance of the end of the halls swallowed him up, and he was gone.

 Rei's breathing hitched suddenly, as the full force of the fact hit him. _He's gone...He's gone!_

 Suddenly he collapsed to his knees, he didn't care anymore, that his classmates all around were watching and whispering behind their hands, that he was kneeling on the cold floor, that he had started to cry, he didn't care, all he cared about was that Kai had left him in the middle of the din of students, and he wasn’t coming back. In the depth of his misery, the Raven-haired-boy felt a hand place gently on his shoulder, and he bit into his lower lip to try and stop the tears, not wanting his friend to see him like this.

“Come on,” said Max softly, “let's get you out of here,” the blond finished, noticing all the students watching the sobbing boy closely. Rei nodded slowly, and got to his feet, allowing Max to help him out of the crowded hall, and headed into his dorm room.

 

 Words fell on deaf ears. All that was heard was a shrill, empty ringing. Blank eyes stared about the vacant room. He heard his friends enter the dorm behind him but he ignored them, moving through what used to be his and Kai’s home. Stumbling into the bathroom he closed the door behind him, pressing his back against the cold, hard, unforgiving tiles. His body shuddered to the floor, head pressing into the wall as he stared up at the blank ceiling. Blank, empty. Exactly like him.

 

 Tears made their steady way down his cheeks, and he sniffed heavily, breath struggling to enter his lungs as he took his mobile out of his pocket, dialling a familiar number. His breath hitched in that infuriating stuttering that occurred when you couldn’t cease your tears, though you may wish to. “Hello?” His chest hurt, even at that familiar voice. His breathing came out ragged and hot against the cold room. “Mum,” he murmured huskily, the tears evident in his voice. “I want to come home…”

 

TBC


	49. I Had to Find You

 

_I Had to Find You_

_~Forty-Nine~_

 

 Tears made their steady way down his cheeks, and he sniffed heavily, breath struggling to enter his lungs as he took his mobile out of his pocket, dialling a familiar number. His breath hitched in that infuriating stuttering that occurred when you couldn’t cease your tears, though you may wish to. “Hello?” His chest hurt, even at that familiar voice. His breathing came out ragged and hot against the cold room. “Mum,” he murmured huskily, the tears evident in his voice. “I want to come home…”

 

*                 *                 *

 

 This crowd wasn’t exactly known for hanging in the library, but there they were nonetheless. Brooklyn’s fingers were interlocked as he watched Zeo roll back and forth slightly on his wheelchair, the green-haired-boy’s actions evidently there to distract him from his thoughts. Tyson and Max shared troubled looks, whilst Kevin and Tala avoided the each other’s eyes. They had all heard Rei’s words through the door. They had each attempted to draw him out of the bathroom, but after what seemed forever of hearing nothing but sobs and demands to be left alone in return to their calls, they were forced to grant Rei his wishes… If Rei wanted to go home, after everything Kai and everyone else had put him through then he was well within his rights…

 

 The room remained abandoned besides them even the librarian seemed to have disappeared. With the half-term break in full swing, the study building was quite abandoned, an eerie, empty echo following each of their pensive breaths.

 

 “This sucks,” Kevin announced after the tension brought on by the silence had become too unbearable. The others regarded him thoughtfully. “After everything that happened, why couldn’t Kai just stick it out?” There was nothing but silence as his answer. “They deserve to be together-”

“-If they don’t stay together they weren’t meant to be…” Zeo’s voice, so calm…so sullen, they hadn’t heard that tone since the accident… It was terrifying to hear it. Kevin looked furious.

“You’re the one that says everything happens for a reason!!!”

 

 A heavy sigh shuddered past Zeo’s lips. He ceased his constant fidgeting, remaining quite still as he regarded his friend with a sad sort of understanding. “Everything does happen for a reason…” he murmured. “And they don’t end up together, then it was meant to be, and they weren’t destined to be together.” It seemed so harsh, yet it was the truth, and even if it were not, there was nothing they could do to change Rei’s decision, only Kai could do that, and it seemed he was unwilling even to show up, much less try…

 

 “This is a bit of a weird place for you guys to be hanging out isn’t it?” The boys looked across the room as the library door swung closed, Kai approaching them carefully. Torn between showing the boy compassion and fury, the others opted for saying nothing, merely watching as Kai silently reached their side, staring at them broodingly.

 

  “I’ve been looking for you,” The Slate-haired-boy said at last, breaking the silence that had fallen. Tala raised a brow.

“You should be looking for Rei.” A small sigh fluttered past those lips and Kai dropped into the vacant seat beside him head hanging down so that his hair draped into his eyes, disguising the emotion within them from view. “I know where Rei is… I can’t see him anymore, at least not for a while. If I see him now…I’ll take back everything, I know I will I’ll just…I’ll give in…”

“Well you should!” Kevin exclaimed, startling his friends with his sudden outburst. “Rei loves you!” Kai smiled sadly.

“I know, and I know he’d never leave me, no matter what so I…I had to be the one to let go… You guys, I need you to understand. I didn’t leave Rei ‘cause I stopped loving him, I left him because I loved him so much and I…I need him to be happy, after everything he’s done for me he deserved that from me… And there was just…there was no way he could be happy with me. Not in the long term anyway…” Kevin opened his mouth to protest, but Tala, offered him a glare, which silenced him.

 

 The Auburn-haired-boy shuffled closer to Kai, leaning forward slightly towards him. Kai blinked, staring up at his long-term friend with glassy eyes. “I know you think what you’re doing is the right thing… We’ve been together since the beginning, and no matter what you do I’ll support but…” He paused, struggling for the right words. Eloquent and tactical speech had always evaded him, even now when he needed them most. “But you’re wrong, Kai…”

 

 The Slate-haired-boy sat back slightly, staring at his friend with hazy bewilderment. “I-”

“-I’ve never been one for ‘destiny’ and all that crap but… Hell, Kai you and Rei are meant to be together! That guy completed you, rescued you in a way no one else could – not even Wyatt made you smile, made you the man you were when you were with Rei.” He watched Kai worry his lower lip between his teeth, obviously hesitant to both agree or disagree with his friend, particularly since the glimmer in his eyes told Tala that his best-friend knew his words were the truth.

 

 “Kai,” Brooklyn intervened softly, fingers interlocked beneath his chin as he rested his head upon them. “Do you love Rei?” The Slate-haired-boy blushed slightly, but nodded. Brooklyn smiled. “Then you owe it to him and yourself to try, no matter what…”

“I know…” Kai murmured, not raising his eyes to the Red-head. “I know but it – it just hurts to see him in such pain, and to know that I’m the cause of it.” Brooklyn sighed, offering a tired smile as he shook his head.

“The World is hurting Rei, not you. That’s why people have others to protect and to protect them. That’s why you shouldn’t run away any more, Kai.” When their friend still looked hesitant, Zeo growled under his breath, his aggravation at Kai’s inability to understand soaring to unreachable heights. He pounded his fists on the arms of the wheelchair, staggering to his feet.

“Gods Kai, how would you feel if Rei were the one to leave for your own good?!” Kai’s eyes widened. Zeo wavered, stumbling forwards as his still weak legs failed him. Brooklyn and Tyson were on hand, easing the boy back into his wheelchair before he hit the floor.

 

 The Slate-haired-boy rose to his feet, making his way across the room. “Where are you going?” Max asked quietly, speaking for the first time in what seemed like a long while. Kai paused, turning back to glance at his friends.

“I’m going to find Rei.” Zeo’s eyebrows twitched and he turned his thoughtful gaze to Kai slowly.

“I’d hurry up if I were you,” Zeo muttered. Kai frowned, but was not permitted any time to voice his question aloud, as Zeo spoke once more. “Rei’s going back to China.”

 

*                 *                 *

 

 He gazed at the room about him, at the room he once shared with Kai, no more... As of this morning Rei officially no longer studied here, with Kai, or the others he adored. He regarded the room with a desperate misery choking him slowly, tears blurring his vision. Everything of his was gone. Every shred of evidence of his presence, of his existence had been removed, wiped away as if it had never been – as if the moments he had come to treasure had never occurred at all.

 

 Rei blinked back tears defiantly, toying with the ring Kai had given him thoughtfully, watching the way the light danced along the edges. Rei felt a lump rise in his throat, and he set the trinket down on the bedside table, abandoning it there as he stepped back shakily. He felt bile rise in his throat. He felt his chest tightening. Drawing in slow breaths, Rei steadied himself, golden eyes surveying the sun-drenched room with suffocating misery throbbing in his chest.

 

 It was so quiet now; he looked around the room, deserted of the slate-haired boy.

 

  _It seemed that there was always music playing in this room,_ he thought, _that's probably why he's so good at what he does, he can find a beat to music that I never thought would have one..._

 Rei blinked and realised that tears were spilling down his cheeks that had paled lately. He wiped the tears away with the back of his hand, giving up in keeping the salty tide at bay the tears were soon replaced with fresh ones. "W-Where did everything go so wrong?" he asked himself aloud, sinking to the floor. "I...I don't even know what I did wrong…"

 

 The Obsidian-haired-boy circled the room slowly, a pointless pensiveness gracing his features. He could recall every word, every touch, every _breath_ that occurred between them in this room. He could see the petals scattered across the bed from the morning after their first time. The feeling of Kai’s tender embraces had still yet to leave him; the warmth still lingered over his skin. If he closed his eyes he could picture him there, studying every flaw and perfection of his flesh as if it were the first time…

 

He could hear the echoes of their words even now, as the breeze fluttered in through the window, brushing rebellious obsidian strands from his face. His eyes remained closed. It was like being back there again, with Kai and the others…

 

  _“I thought you were amazing…”_

_“If you deny your feelings, you’re denying who you are…Love defies all laws and reason Rei…it defies all facts…whether it’s right or wrong… It defies every science and feeling. It makes you feel like you can do anything, like you can touch the skies and defy gravity itself.”_

 He could recall the time on the ice-rink, where he had gasped as Kai snatched his wrists and drew him close, so close he could feel the slate-haired boy’s hot breath steaming over his flushed face. _“You won’t fall…”_ he had said softly, _“you won’t get hurt, okay? I won’t let you fall…”_ Even now, Rei inhaled and exhaled deeply, quivering with anticipation.

 

  _“I won’t ever leave you, I promise! Never – I don’t care if you hate me… I don’t even care if you never love me like you loved Wyatt, I can’t leave you! I’m too damn selfish and scared to leave you! If I ever left you it’d be like the light got taken away… Because I love you Kai!”_

The present day Rei shook his head, trying to shake the memories from his mind. They burned and soothed in the same instant. They were all he had left now… Just memories…

 

 The headlights of the car that had ploughed into Zeo glared, startling his vision. He could hear Kai’s scream fill his ears as his body tore through the air, seizing him round the waist, the two of them hurtling across the street, skidding across the icy ground. The warmth of that embrace the only comfort he felt against the spiteful cold pain, just like now…

 

_“I think I heard you say…you loved me…”_

_“Tell me you love me?”_  His own words, oh how they burned now.

_“I love you, you know I do…”_

_“Tell me you need me…” Rei had breathed._

_“All I need is you…”_ Kai had whispered. Rei’s skin almost tingled from the recollection of his once-lover nudging the boy’s cheek with his own gently, touching noses with him before capturing those devious lips, flushed with kissing his flesh, the kiss broke before it had begun. _“I think I’m gonna go crazy I love you so much…”_

 

 Wiping his eyes defiantly at the recollection of his own words, Rei seized his bag from his bed, hooking it over his shoulder as he lifted the suitcase with his other hand. It was strange. They were such painful times and yet…they had been the happiest of his life… Because Kai was there…

 

  He remembered the bath water rising slightly as Kai’s weight dropped slowly behind him, thighs nestling around him, and butterfly kisses dusting over the nape of his neck. Rei recalled leaning back into Kai’s chest, sighing in bliss as two arms came to wrap around him affectionately. Those hands had lathered the shower-gel over his torso gently, smooth, gentle motions embracing him, more like making love to him than washing him. _“Kai…”_ he growled at the tears cascading down his cheeks as his own words echoed in his mind. _“Will it always be like this?”_ He felt like he could feel Kai breathing gently in his ear, even now, capturing the lobe in his mouth.

_“Always…I’m never letting you go, not ever…”_

Rei’s teeth caught his lip as he offered one final glance at the room, golden eyes coming to rest upon the ring lying on the bedside table, before turning, leaving the room for the last time.

 

*                      *                      *

 

 Heavy footsteps thundered up the stairs. Rapid breath escaped in harsh pants. Kai felt his sides ache, casting a quick glance back at the others he watched them fall behind slightly, but he couldn’t stop. He couldn’t slow down. Zeo had waited with Brooklyn downstairs at the lifts, still awaiting their arrival no doubt, whilst the others had darted towards the stairs. He couldn’t slow down.

 

 He gripped the banister, spinning round the corner to take the final staircase two steps at a time before stumbling onto the landing. Flying past the elevator he caught sight of Zeo and Brooklyn coming out, but he didn’t stop running. “Kai!” he heard the Red-head call after him. “Kai!” He ignored him. He shut them all out. If they hadn’t met Rei on the way down then he must still be there…

 

 All-but hurling himself against the door to his and Rei’s dormitory, Kai frowned. It was locked. Delving into his pocket the Slate-haired-boy twisted the key into the lock, throwing the door open. Not bothering to pause to retrieve the key from the door, Kai darted forwards, shoving the bedroom door open.

 

 The sun streamed in through the windows, an eerie breeze drifting in after the rays of light. Kai gnawed his lower lip, stepping forward. Slightly trembling fingers reached down taking the small band of gold into his palm he stared into it, as if praying it was the key to a gaping abyss that would swallow him whole.

 

 Heavy breathing sounded from behind him, but he didn’t bother to turn, even as he felt Zeo grip his arm gently. “I tried to call you back but…” He paused, sighing softly, “Here, Rei just sent me this.” Kai looked to his hand, bringing the mobile phone up slightly so that he could read the text message.

 

  _Sorry I couldn’t say goodbye. If I stayed any longer I wouldn’t have been able to let go. And I couldn’t stay. There’s nothing left here for me anymore. I came here to escape from my pain, but I guess it caught up with me. Running never works. But without Kai here there’s no reason to stand still and fight. Look out for Kai for me, and tell the others I’ll miss them. I’ll give you a ring when I land in China. Love you all. Rei x x x_

He read it. Then re-read it. It was as if the words were burning his eyes and they were bleeding tears. The one person he had treasured above all else…the person who’d made helped him reach his dreams, made him the man he wanted to be. He was gone. He’d driven Rei away.

 

 “It’s over…”

“Kai,” Brooklyn said, setting a hand on the boy’s shoulder, but Kai shook him off. Frowning slightly, the red-head continued. “We still-”

“-I did this…I…I ruined _everything_ …” He dropped the phone back into Zeo’s lap, dropping down onto the bed, his head hanging almost limply from his shoulders. Crimson eyes stared into that ring once more. He guessed it was all over. Rei would move on, but how could he? How could he when Rei was all that he wanted. Tipping his head back, Kai blinked back tears, gasping for breath. If he could have one thing, it would be to have him back once more, to have one last chance to tell him how wrong he was, and how much he loved him…

 

 “Kai.” Brooklyn’s voice was louder than before. “If you’ll stop _wallowing_ in self pity,” he punctuated his words by dropping down to Kai’s level, gripping his shoulders firmly. “You’ll see that we still have a shot at getting to him before he leaves.” Kai blinked, and Brooklyn released him, straightening up. “That is…if you still want to.” Kai frowned as his _‘father’_ handed him the phone, watching him expectantly. When Kai did nothing Brooklyn sighed exasperatedly. “Rei is flying with _‘Kurisu Airline’_ right?” Kai nodded, still not comprehending where the Red-head was going with this. “Then we’ve got a shot…”

 

*                      *                      *

 

 Golden eyes trailed down to the MP3 Player in his hands, flicking through the playlist until he found the song he wanted, one that portrayed his inner misery accurately. He tipped his head back against the head-rest, closing his eyes against the brightness of the plane. He felt like he was clinging to the cliffs of hope, but his grip was failing, his fingers slipping. Opening his eyes again he stared out the window, watching people ascending the steps to the plane still. It was taking longer than necessary. The plane couldn’t leave soon enough, or was it that he didn’t want it to leave at all. He bit back tears. He was so confused. Nothing made sense anymore.

 

**_‘Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry_ **

**_You don't know how lovely you are._ **

**_I had to find you, tell you I need you,_ **

**_Tell you I set you apart.’_ **

 

 The car stopped – again! The midday traffic was clogging up the roads and Kai and the others found themselves staring at the airport, within their line of sight, though still unreachable. Brooklyn cursed loudly, punching the steering wheel as the boys spiralled into despair. Kai’s head darted around. He had one chance to get Rei back, just one. “Kai?” Tala asked as he watched the Slate-haired-boy unbuckling himself. “Kai what’re you – Kai!!!” The Boy threw his door open, slamming it shut again before speeding off along the road. Weaving in and out of the paused cars he ducked under the guard-rail onto the cycling lane. He was running again. The horns of the cars were screaming. Planes soared overhead. He had to get there. He just had to.

 

**_‘Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions,_ **

**_Oh lets go back to the start._ **

**_Running in circles, Comin' up Tails_ **

**_Heads on a science apart.’_ **

 

 Rei blinked again, wiping escaped tears away with his sleeve. He looked around him. It was in the middle of a semester, so there were comparatively few people boarding, which left the seat beside him empty. This of course, suited him just fine. He didn’t particularly relish the idea of having to hide his tears from a complete stranger the whole way to China. This way was best, he could lounge in the beckoning misery whilst listening to the sounds of content, completed others, the soothing yet furious sounds assuring him he was still very much alive, and had not slipped into some form of hell.

 

 Golden eyes flickered out the window once more. The clouds danced over the sun, a darkness falling over the world as rain descended to the earth. The hard, rapid beat against the window distracted him momentarily from his pain, and he watched two raindrops race against the pane thoughtfully. He wondered if there was anyone doing this exact same thing right at that moment; watching the rain to escape their pain.

 

 He supposed that there were people everywhere that were like this. Everyone was the same. Each and every person at some time or another would watch the rain cascade down the glass like a failed imitation of the tears that had shed, a mimic of the tears to come. Everyone was the same in that way. They would cry, and hurt the same as everyone else – the wicked would suffer the same as the righteous, so what made them different?

 

 Rei blinked hard. Why hadn’t he realised he was crying again. His lip trembled slightly as he wiped away those tears once more, allowing his head to press tiredly against the window. What made people like him any different to people like Hiro? They breathed, bled and cried the same…

 

  _But people like him suffer because they’re bad,_ he thought. _People like me suffer because of bad people, and rise from it stronger than before…_

He paused then. Did he really think he’d be able to soar back up to the heights that Kai had helped him reach? If those arms had been his wings, and those few precious months together had been the wind beneath them then he had nearly touched the sky itself. Only to spiral back down to earth, the world stripping everything away before he hit the ground.

 

  _The higher you reach, the more it hurts when you fall…_

_“You won’t fall…”_ he had said softly, _“you won’t get hurt, okay? I won’t let you fall…”_  Rei couldn’t help the small whimper that escaped from his throat, and prayed no one in the seat behind him heard it. Everyone was supposed to have someone to catch them when they fell. And if you were alone, someone was supposed to come along and stoop to pick up the pieces. So where was his someone?

 

**_‘Nobody said it was easy,_ **

**_It's such a shame for us to part._ **

**_Nobody said it was easy,_ **

**_No one ever said it would be this hard._ **

**_Oh take me back to the start.’_ **

 

Kai felt his lungs burning again. His feet hurt, his legs hurt. But he couldn’t slow down. The heavens roared above, rain stung his eyes as if the skies had exploded into a thousand needles. Throwing himself against the spiralling doors, Kai darted through the lobby. People protested and shouted obscenities after him as he pushed past them. Rei’s plane had to be here somewhere. It _had_ to be.

 

 “Excuse me,” he gasped breathlessly as he caught a flight attendant by the arm, startling both them and himself a little. “Where’s the flight to China taking off from?” The man frowned, glancing around swiftly before pointing to the nearest window.

“That one, Sir.” Without realising he’d let go of the man, and that he had been left standing quite alone in the airport – without even really realising he was standing there, or even breathing, Kai moved towards the full-length windows, watching as the steps leading up to the plane were gradually rolled away, the plane door closing. _No_ , he thought desperately, his heart stopping.

 

**_‘I was just guessin' at numbers and figures,_ **

**_Pulling your puzzles apart._ **

**_Questions of science, science and progress_ **

**_Do not speak as loud as my heart.’_ **

 

 Rei sighed as he watched the steps being taken away from the door, and turned away from the window. He never did like the take-off part of flying. Especially when he was leaving something he loved more than anything behind…

 

 Time seemed to take forever to tick away, as if it had frozen in place. The plane didn’t seem to be moving. Rei turned back to the window again. The steps and all else were well out of sight, so why weren’t they moving.

 

 “Ladies and gentlemen, please take your seats.” He sighed again, as he saw the air-hostesses ushering people to their seats out of the corner of his eye. He was glad the seats beside him remained empty.

 

 A silver tray was slid under his nose, and he knew it was one of the hostesses offering him some of those odd socks or earplugs. He pushed the tray away without looking at it, but the tray would not move away. Staring down at it at last, his brows knotted together in a frown. Upon the pristine surface of the tray sat a small, gold ring attached to a chain.

 

 “I believe this is yours, Mr Kon.” Wide, golden eyes turned, finding Kai sitting beside him, holding the tray under his gaze. He captured his own lip between his teeth, determined not to cry anymore, as he watched Kai’s lips twitch into a small smile. “So it turns out, I own this airline,” The Russian-boy murmured quietly, lowering the tray to rest on the other boy’s lap. Rei could not seem to take his eyes off him.

 

**_‘And tell me you love me, come back and haunt me_ **

**_Oh and I rush to the start._ **

**_Runnin' in circles, Chasin' up Tails_ **

**_Comin' back as we are.’_ **

 

 Kai drew in a deep breath, hand crawling into Rei’s lap, where his fingers intertwined with his once-lover’s hand. “Rei,” he murmured, “I-”

“-Kai!” Crimson eyes widened as Rei, wrapped his arms around him, pressing a tear-stained cheek to his chest. “I was so scared you weren’t coming after me…” After the initial shock had passed, Kai’s fingers sifted through obsidian locks, breathing in the boy’s scent as if he hadn’t seen him for years.

“I was scared I wasn’t coming after you too…” He half-growled. Wetting his lips slowly, he drew the boy up to meet his eyes, attempting to keep his voice steady.

****

**_‘Nobody said it was easy,_ **

**_Oh it's such a shame for us to part._ **

**_Nobody said it was easy,_ **

**_No one ever said it would be so hard._ **

**_I'm goin' back to the start.’_ **

 

 The song stopped there as Rei practically tore the headphones from his ears. “I’m sorry,” Kai whispered, “I was wrong. Everything that’s happened it’s…I realise that it’s happened to make me realise how much I love you… And the guys they said something to me that made realise that…” He paused, drawing in another shaky breath. “That if I reached you, then we really were destined to be together…so that’s why I had to get here, to prove that to myself, to them, to whoever’s watching…” He forgot all words as Rei’s hands smoothed over his cheeks, holding him there as their gazes locked, pools of golden almost merging with red. Rei smiled. “What’re you smiling at?” he asked, the huskiness to his voice that betrayed his tears.

“You won’t let me fall, right?” Kai smirked, plucking the chain from the tray and draping it around his lover’s neck so that the ring rested against his chest. Their noses touched before a kiss dusted over his lips.

“Are you kidding?” Kai replied as he broke the kiss, “after all this? I’m not letting you out of my sight.” Rei offered him a teary smile, kisses showering his face and neck. He felt that suffocating misery alleviated from his chest. He felt his body draw breath for what seemed like the first time in an age.

 

 

 “Come on,” Kai said softly, getting to his feet, seizing Rei’s suitcase from the shelf above and holding out his hand to him. “Let’s go home…” Rei didn’t move. “Rei?”

“Kai I…I love you, I do but… What’s to stop you doing this again?” Kai blinked, but did not speak. “I mean…what’s to stop you from thinking this is necessary all over again?” There was a short silence. One that seemed to stretch far beyond any measurement of time. Kai lowered himself into the seat again, ignoring the furious looking hostesses standing a little way away.

 “Everything happens for a reason, right?” Rei nodded, glassy eyes never leaving Kai’s. “Today, yesterday…all this has made me realise that we’re meant to be together – no matter what. And if that means we have to suffer all the time then so be it, because we’ll do it together. Right?” There was a moment. Then Rei rose to his feet, his hand slipping into Kai’s as they made their way towards the door that remained unsealed.

 

 “Kai?” Rei asked as they made their slow way towards Brooklyn’s car which had pulled up in the car-park nearby.

“Hnn?” He squeezed his lover’s hand gently, as if making sure he was still there.

“How did you find me anyway?” Kai smirked, inclining his head to gaze upon the boy beside him. He placed a swift kiss on his cheek before responding.

“I have _Rei-dar_ ,” he teased. Rei rolled his eyes. The rain had stopped as quickly as it had begun. The dark clouds had parted upon their life, leaving a wide path for the sun.

 

 They could see their friends beaming at them from the car, and Rei flushed, watching Kai trying to look anywhere else but at them.

 

_“The World is hurting Rei, not you. That’s why people have others to protect and to protect them. That’s why you shouldn’t run away any more, Kai.”_

Kai remembered Brooklyn’s words. If there was anything that he’d learnt from today – from the last few torturous days it was how much Rei meant to him. He didn’t think he could let him go, not even if Rei begged him to. When the world came crashing down and tore into him, he’d be the one to catch Rei’s searching hand, to soothe any broken bones and repair any shattered shards. And when the sun touched porcelain skin, light up his smile, he’d be there to share it with him, and make it shine all the brighter, because they were together.

 

 Rei held the boot of the car open as Kai shoved the suitcase in, struggling to get it to close again. No sooner had it slammed shut than he turned, finding himself pinned between the car and Rei’s body. Kai’s eyes widened slightly in apprehension. “Rei, what’re you doing?” His answer came when Rei pushed him back onto the car further, dropping languid kisses over his mouth.

 

 When he drew back, their noses brushed over one another, Rei’s hair forming a curtain around their faces. Kai’s fingers smoothed into obsidian tresses, brushing them back gently so that he could stare into golden eyes unhindered. “I love you,” Rei murmured softly, their lips so clothes that the words practically trembled against his slightly parted lips. “And if you ever leave me again I’ll castrate you.” Kai laughed, pressing another kiss to his Kitten’s forehead.

“That’ll never happen. I’m gonna cling to you until you’re bored of me.” Rei smiled, ignoring Brooklyn’s feigned shouts to get off his car and leaning down to an ‘almost-kiss’.

“You’re in luck Mr Hiwatari, that won’t be any time soon… Go ahead, bore me,” he purred teasingly. Kai smirked, pressing upwards that extra hairsbreadth to complete the kiss.

 

 Rei would later shift uncomfortably as Kai persuaded the Dean (all-too easily) to let Rei back into classes, and into ‘their’ dorm. Shortly after they would find Aoki, Bryan and the others had not only been suspended, but also had seemed to keep quite to themselves since their last encounter. His bravery had done some good after all. The sun would shine the same as the rain would fall. Arguments came and went with them, as with every other couple, but each angry word only brought them closer. Every day brought a new smile, a new embrace. There would always been something – one tiny flaw in their beautiful world, but that didn’t matter, because they were together, and that was the way it was going to stay.

 

 

TBC

* * *

 

Disclaimer/Claimer: I do not own beyblade or any of its characters, nor do I make any money from this fic. I merely own this story, the title and chapters titles, as well as any original characters unless stated otherwise. The song in this chapter is "The scientist" and the version i listen to is by Coldplay, and I do not own ANY rights to it, in any way. No steal no sue, danke ^_^

 

Shigure-san

x chuu x

 

 


	50. Defying Gravity

 

_Defying Gravity_

_~Fifty~_

 

 Humid air pressed against their lungs as they crossed the threshold of the grand building, noise bombarded them from every angle; those two things in itself might have put anyone else on the edge, but for these four it scarcely fazed them any longer – particularly since this little outing had been somewhat a ritual of theirs so many times a year…

 

 Disregarding the line completely, the four boys moved to the front where the security staff stood, checking the validity of people’s tickets. Brooklyn tipped his head to the two men, who pulled aside the rope gate momentarily to let him and the others pass.

 

 “Looks like there’s twice as many people as last year,” Zeo said, casting a glance back to the endless line. “And let’s face it that’s a lot. Remember last year, Brook?”

 

 The Red-head turned to regard the green-haired boy walking beside him, their hands intertwined. “Was that the year you had to sit on my lap?” he asked in a teasing tone. Zeo flushed, clearing his throat awkwardly. To anyone else that blush may have passed as insignificant, but to Brooklyn it was an ever-present reminder of how long ago it was his lover had finally broken free of the torturous memories of his past, and the effect they had on him. The Zeo he had known back then would never so much as smirk at such an innocent comment, the Zeo that had tried to get into the pants of anything remotely gorgeous and male that passed by. How long had it been since he’d got the _‘true’_ Zeo back? It was difficult to remember… Anything of the few years before, where darkness had so swiftly descended… It seemed like such a hazy, distant memory…

 

 “No, that was like two-and-a-half years ago – remember because I was still in a wheelchair then,” Zeo said, and Brooklyn nodded in vague recollection.

“Ah, I remember,” the Red-head murmured, looking briefly back to the two boys behind them as they continued to walk down the path of that familiar corridor. “That was the year we celebrated Tyson’s two year streak without drugs or alcohol.”

 

 Tyson smirked at that, his arm circling around Max’s shoulders tightly. “Ah, well, you know it was merely a phase, I grew out of it – as do most teens.” Max rolled his eyes at his boyfriend’s words.

“He only went clean because the doctor said his dick would start shrinking if he kept doing it,” said Max as they stepped out into the stadium’s stands, and started making their way across the seats.

“I didn’t know that could happen,” Zeo said with a raised brow, and Max giggled.

“No, it was more like every time he came back home stoned or drunk I kicked him in the-”

“We’re here!” They turned to see Kevin standing on his seat, waving at them, with Tala at his side. The other made their way over, taking their seats alongside their friends.

 

 “You’re here early,” Max said as he routed through the program they had picked up on the way in.

“Yeah,” answered Tala, stroking Kevin’s knee softly, “We gave Kai and Rei a lift in.”

“Kai and Rei are up third I think,” Max said, his finger tracing the printed page of the program thoughtfully. Kevin looked over, glancing down at the page momentarily before snatching it swiftly from Max’s grasp. “Hey!”

“Wow,” Kevin murmured, browsing the coloured booklet. “These program designers go all out now don’t they? They’ve even given you little bio’s of each couple.” Tala leant over his boyfriend to get a better look.

“Cool, where’s Kai and Rei’s one?” Flicking through the program swiftly, Kevin paused at the page with a picture of their friends on. “What type of stuff do they put in these biographies?” They paused, sharing an odd look.

“General info, dummy,” Kevin answered, “Like their best move on the ice, and where they come from…” It was then that Zeo made an odd coughing noise that sounded horribly like _‘Brokeback Mountain’_.

“Yes ‘Z’, they come from Brokeback Mountain,” Tyson responded sarcastically. “They never put anything interesting like sexuality in those-”

“-It says here,” Max cut across him, snatching the brochure back from Kevin, “It says:

 

‘ _Hiwatari and Kon have been partnering in ice competitions for more than three years, their career in figure skating began in their college years, and continues to this day. Currently it is known that the pair live together as Civil Partners in an apartment in the United States, though it has been known that the couple frequently travel back and forth from Moscow, Russia, where Kon’s family are taking care of the numerous Hiwatari business estates_.”

 

 “Well there you go,” Tala said as Max finished reading from the booklet. “They’re _thriving_ on the fact that they’ve got a gay couple in their national competitions. They probably get loads of good publicity for it.” The others agreed as they stared silently at the crowds pouring in through the numerous exits. The show would start soon. Not soon enough. They had been hearing of this new routine from their two friends every time they met, (which was pretty often even now) and Brooklyn remained the only one to have seen it.

 

 “Grrr,” Tala growled under his breath, stretching his impatient legs in boredom. “I hate waiting – when are they coming out?!”

“Soon enough,” Brooklyn murmured. “How’s the work going?” To this Tala sat up quite seriously, regaining his posture before he answered, as if it were a life or death matter.

“It’s alright. I never actually thought kids would like me, but… I guess they find me easy to talk to – the job’s going really well! I’m getting new clients every week-”

“-You make it sound like you work in a brothel,” Tyson teased, receiving a sharp smack to his head from the Auburn-haired boy.

“It might as well be a brothel for the amount of sexually active horn-doggies that come in there. Do you know how many gay kids I’ve seen in that counselling office over the last year or so?” The others said nothing, awaiting his answer. “Fifty-three!” he exclaimed, and Tyson let out a low whistle.

“Talk about butt-bandit nation. Is gayness slowly spreading across the continent?”

 

 The Bluenette turned to Zeo, a look of feigned horror on his face as he pointed accusingly at him. “It’s your fault! You spread homosexuality like an STD with all those people you slept with!” To this Zeo smirked.

“Ah, and a job life it was. But you forget, I’ve retired from my job as the Village bicycle… The same way you’ve retired from job as the Village idiot – well mostly anyway. Still work part time?” Tyson snorted at that.

“Says the guy who nearly broke his legs the minute his casts were off trying to screw Brooklyn after all those months of celibacy. Did you really have to try as soon as you got out?”

“Well I-”

“-On _MY_ bed?!” Zeo laughed while Brooklyn tried to remain indifferent to the comment, though a smile flickered across his lips at the recollection of the horror on the boy’s face when Tyson had returned to the dorm to find Zeo detangling himself from a rather awkward position – _naked_.

“Perhaps the _‘Leap frog’_ position was a bit adventurous for our first time after my legs had healed – but it was worth it to see your face.”

 

 “Excuse me, Boys?” The group looked up to see two people approaching them from amongst the crowds that were now filling the stands, pausing by the two vacant seats next to them.

“Mrs Kon?” Tala asked, and the woman smiled, nodding slightly as she tucked a rogue strand of obsidian hair behind her ear.

“I managed to get someone to watch the business for us so we come see Kai and Rei skate,” she said sweetly, gesturing to herself and the man beside her. “It was difficult since we already had time off for our honeymoon a few weeks back but, luckily Kai is my Boss.” She laughed and Tyson moved his bag off the seat next to him so she and her husband could sit.

 

 “Yeah, Rei told us you got re-married to a nice guy,” Max said, beaming at the man who looked a little awkward at the echo of Rei’s words. Tyson nudged his lover with his foot to silence him before his hyper words ran away with him. It was true that Rei was pleased with his mother’s new marriage. At first it had been hard to accept, but upon meeting the man (who his mother had met working in the Hiwatari estate) the Chinese boy had found himself coming to appreciate just how much this man loved her, and would take care of her. Though it remained early days in their relationship that, Rei had said that he doubted his _parents’_ honeymoon period would ever be over.

 

 “I heard in the newspaper that that couple Kai and Rei knew…the skating couple – was it Jin and Maaya something?” Mrs Kon asked. Brooklyn looked over to her.

“Yes, Jin Sakamoto and Maaya Sashimi. They were Kai and Rei’s rivals for quite a time. However, they’re not here for this championship for some reason.”

 

 Mrs Kon smiled at him. “No, I read that they have taken some time away from everyone – before they get married. Isn’t that sweet? So much happiness these days…” The Man beside her rolled his eyes at her words.

“She does that sometimes, as if she expects the worst constantly. Rei does that too. Is it a family thing?” he asked with a gentle, teasing tone. “Whenever the sun shines you expect it to pour down with rain?”

“Ah, but our odd little group has a habit of breaking free of times like that,” said Zeo, “I mean I was paralysed at one point-”

“-And a slut,” Tyson added. Zeo tried to ignore him as he continued.

“Rei was blind and…”

“A crybaby.”

“And Kai and Rei both-”

“-Tried scampering off home,” Tyson finished for him, grinning. “But as you can see, we’re all here – alive, and in one piece, more or less anyway.” Mrs Kon’s husband frowned.

“When are Kai and Rei coming out?” he asked.

“That’s the less part,” Tyson murmured.

 

*              *              *

 

 Rei glared down at the costume he was wearing. Granted it wasn’t a girl’s costume any longer, but it was still rather…revealing. A dark blue tunic lined with gold trimmings that matched Kai’s almost perfectly… Except for some reason or another Kai’s costumes were always a little more masculine that his.

 

 He looked up at himself in the mirror, his hair braided neatly, whilst the obsidian hairs framing his face offered far too much femininity to his appearance. He leant forward little, fingertips tracing the one remaining scar across his cheek, a pale, opalescent reminder to all the things they’d seen and done… But no longer did its image haunt him. Though his shyness was something he was sure he could find no cure for, his lover’s affection and attention had long since robbed him of any self-loathing. Apart from that, Kai thought he was beautiful, and that was all that mattered to him.

 

 “Kai?” he asked, leaning back in his chair to look upon the boy who was fiddling with his gelled hair in the other mirror.

“Yes, Kitten.”

 

 Rei paused before responding, gazing down as his hands, where a gold band glimmered. “Nothing,” he murmured distantly, the tone causing his lover to pull away from his perfectly preened reflection and to his side. A warm hand slid over his own, covering the ring and startling him back from his daze. He looked up at Kai.

“You alright, Kitty-Cat?” Rei nodded, smiling at him.

“Yeah, just thinking is all…”

 

 Kai sighed, poking his boyfriend’s nose playfully before diving down to press his mouth against those slightly parted lips. Rei purred softly arms encircling Kai’s neck to pull him down into the kiss. When Kai nipped his tongue gently a small moan caused his mouth to open, and he felt the kiss deepen. That tongue coerced his own into response until both broke apart breathlessly in search of air.

 

 “Where’d you get to be so good?” Kai asked, breaking away from the embrace after placing a gentle kiss on the end of his lover’s nose. Rei smirked devilishly.

“Three-and-a-half years of practice,” he laughed. There was a small pause, and Rei got to his feet, golden eyes staring into crimson pools. “I was really just thinking before,” he assured him at last, breaking the deafening silence that scarcely fell upon them nowadays. “About how Zeo was right – about _everything_.”

 

 Kai frowned at the vagueness of the Obsidian-haired-boy’s answer. “How’d you mean?” Without answering immediately, Rei moved forwards, slender hands coming to rest on the taller boy’s shoulders. Their gazes met, unvoiced affection glistening in their eyes as those hands slid up to brush the pads of his thumbs over Kai’s cheeks. “About how everything happens for a reason – about how we’re destined to be together and that’s why you got to me in time on the plane 3 years ago...” He paused, pressing his ear to his lover’s chest so that the dull thud of his heartbeat quelled any anxiety that had swelled in his own chest with the imminent performance.

 

 “He was right about how you have to get through darkness to find the light…” At this, Kai smiled.

“Am I your light then, Kitten?” he asked teasingly, and Rei rolled his eyes.

“Sometimes you’re both,” Rei responded, pulling back so that he could look at Kai once more. “But that just makes me love you even more…”

 

 Just as Kai descended to capture those lips with his own, that familiar sound rang in the distant with soft intonations. He felt Rei’s nervous sigh flutter against his throat at the sound of the bell that signalled their cue to approach the ice. “Ready, Kitten?” he asked. Rei swallowed hard, though nodded, his lips curving into a nervous smile.

“Let’s go.”

 

*              *              *

 

 “For God’s sake!” Tala growled out, “How long is it gonna take for them to get out here?” Kevin smiled at his boyfriend’s impatience, his fingertips tracing over the Auburn-haired boy’s hand that remained on his knee, and leant over to press a kiss to Tala’s cheek, regardless of the crowded stadium. Tala stopped, wide eyes regarding the smaller boy with confusion; all these years…Kevin had never relished in open affection in public… But now? Kevin smiled, as if reading his every thought and Tala smirked in understanding, as he returned the kiss gently, just as the lights in the ice-rink glimmered to life once more.

 

 The familiar bilingual announcements were made, and everyone in their odd little group sat oblivious to the meaning until the English announcement rang throughout the stadium.

 

_“Introducing the Three times National Champions, here to defend their title – Hiwatari, Kai and Kon, Rei!”_

The crowds roared to life, applause screaming from every direction, not just from their very loud group that, to this day leap onto their seats and whistled loudly when their friends came on, circling the rink. Some things would never change, they supposed. But then again, they were glad some things would always remain the same…

 

 Suddenly all noise dissipated, vanished as if it had never been, and with a final tug of his sleeve, Tyson (the last one standing in the audience) was forced to sit back down by his boyfriend, grinning stupidly (though soberly) at his blond lover. “I was excited!” he whispered in his defence, and Max rolled his eyes, though a smile still lingering over his lips.

 

 Under the warm glare of the lights below, Kai offered Rei a final smile before they skated to the centre of the rink, back to back, gazes turned down to the soft glow of the eyes underfoot, awaiting the signal of the music to move them.

 

 That first not swelled and he felt Kai take his arm as they turned, for that brief moment he led Kai across the ice, in control of the speed and direction of their movements until Kai released him. Arms outstretched upwards, the Russian boy caught his hands with his own, spinning him outward until they were side-by-side, Kai drew rei back with him, he could see Rei smiling, but did not know whether that was because he was happy or nervous – or both.

 

**‘Last time I talked to you**

**You were lonely and out of place**

**You were looking down on me**

**Lost out in space.’**

 

 Their hands broke apart and Rei remained following him across the rink – mimicking his movements, just like the first time he had stepped onto the ice with him. He caught Kai’s gaze as they turned a final time, everything seemed to move so slowly in that instant. A quick flicker of his eyes checked Kai’s footwork, as usual, he was perfect, all Rei had to do was match him. The blade of the skate scraped over the ice as he leapt, his body turned midair, as if in slow motion the world passed by, once, twice, three times before the back edge of his other skate caught him, and he landed the perfect axel.

**‘We laid underneath the stars**

**Strung out and feeling brave**

**I watched the red orange glow**

**I watched you float away.’**

 

 Their bodies twirled once more after reuniting with the ice, and he followed Kai’s movements towards the centre of the rink, before he watched Kai spin to face him on one foot, his hand catching his once more. Rei glided forwards, his back arching as his lover’s other hand ghosted over his spine, he tipped his head back slightly to meet those eyes, before he spun outwards again their hands still entwined though outstretched. He felt himself being slowly drawn back into Kai’s chest as they travelled the ice, that hand rested on his hip. He was lifted from the ice, twirled midair so that when he broke free of Kai his body spiralled until it landed in time with the clashing sound of the next verse.

 

**‘Down here in the atmosphere**

**Garbage and city lights**

**You've gone to save your tired soul**

**You've gone to save our lives**

**I turned on the radio**

**To find you on satellite**

**I'm waiting for this sky to fall**

**I'm waiting for a sign**

**And all we are**

**Is all so far…’**

 

 Kai followed this time, as Rei tipped backwards in a delicate arch, circling the rink until they were each at opposite sides. He smiled across at him still, they seemed to lunge forwards as if their had been apart for decades, they crossed each other’s lines, and Kai caught his wrist as he passed, calling him back to him. Arms outstretched again, like wings that caught the imagined wind as they leapt into the air once more, landing their second axel as _“fall”_ fell upon their ears.

 

 The Music hummed through the floor. He could feel it. His heart thumped wildly with the anticipation of the next move. Intricate turns and spirals moved their forms as fluidly as if they were water. He was breathless, he was anxious, but he couldn’t tear the smile from his lips, nor did he wish to.

**‘You're falling back to me**

**The star that I can see, yeah**

**I know you're out there**

**Somewhere out there.’**

 

 They were moving quicker now. Kai’s legs were stronger though, that was why, he supposed. That was why he was better at leading during the faster movements. Kai’s arm hooked around his waist, pulling his body against his, (back to chest) before strong arms caught his hips, tossing him effortlessly into the air. Rei’s body twisted twice before Kai caught him. Fear no longer touched his features, and Kai dropped him back onto one skate, the other leg extended backwards as the speed drove their movements backwards across the rink.

 

**‘You're falling out of reach**

**Defying gravity, yeah**

**I know you're out there**

**Somewhere out there.’**

 

 Using his grounded leg as a pivot, Rei turned, bringing his other leg down until Kai’s hands met his outstretched ones, driving him onward, the speed picking up. Rei felt his stomach clench in apprehension when Kai tucked their joined hands under his backside, pushing him up above his head – _“defying gravity”_ – he supposed he was, in more ways than one.

 

 Still flying Rei’s body turned, sliding down Kai’s body with slick twists until he was completely encircled in Kai’s warmth, without pausing he met the ice again, that familiar heartbeat thudding rapidly against his back as it met the taller boy’s chest once more. And he kept moving back, drawn by some invisible, gravitational pull, his vision was blurry thanks to the descended dizziness, but he didn’t need to see. Kai wouldn’t let him fall.

 

**‘Hope you remember me**

**When you're homesick and need a change**

**I miss your purple hair**

**I miss the way you taste.’**

 

 On one skate Rei dived forwards, Kai’s body circling to wrap around his own, each body made stable by the other. He couldn’t hear the applause as their still intertwined bodies spun, (both still on one foot) the only audible sound was suddenly Kai’s breathing in his ear, the music vibrating dully in the background of his mind. They turned, now face-to-face their arms wrapped around each other as they lowered down on one knee, still spinning, slowly drawing upwards again.

 

 But in that move, nobody saw as Rei moved to turn again as he came out of the move – one turn too many, and Kai caught his waist before he moved away, pulling his hips back against his own. Rei smiled apologetically as Kai twirled him to face the right way so that nobody realised he had corrected him.

 

**‘I know you'll come back someday**

**On a bed of nails I'll wait**

**I'm praying that you don't burn out**

**Or fade away**

**And all we are**

**Is all so far’**

 

 Rei could not help but look for their friends in the crowd. And he saw them all of them, and his mother, and his step-father… His family looked down at Kai and him from the stands, it made his stomach do back-flips to see them smiling at him. A sharp jolt around his waist drew Rei back to reality, where thankfully no one had noticed his attention drifting.

 

 They skated forwards, with one of Rei’s hands in Kai’s grasp, Rei’s body stretched out, preparing for that move that had terrified him on their first performance, Kai’s leg swung gracefully over him, until he was in the right position to spin him. He pivoted on one foot under Kai’s direction; the Obsidian-haired-boy’s back still parallel to the ice. Slowly Kai pulled him back upright. To think that he had once panicked during that move – to the point where Kai had got hurt…he felt silly looking back on it now…

**‘You're falling back to me**

**The star that I can see, yeah**

**I know you're out there**

**Somewhere out there.’**

 

 He took his hips again, and he knew that move was returning. He would never know how Kai had the strength to lift and throw him across the ice with such ease. “Try three turns,” Rei whispered quickly, and Kai nodded. He managed two before, if they could get three rotations…

 

 All thought whipped from his mind as he felt his feet leave the ice. A little more force behind Kai’s spin sent him soaring through the air, ice flew as he landed, arms stretched out, his body still turning as he came out of his _third_ spin to face Kai. The Slate-haired-boy pushed off hard on the ground, darting towards him. Rei’s hands caught his upper arms, steadying his body weight as Kai pushed on his waist, flipping him upwards to turn upside down – again his back was against Kai’s chest, only the other way up. Rei’s arms came out again as Kai held his waist. Rei felt the blood rush to his head. He smiled through the silent struggle to keep his body steady, and to _not_ panic. He had to hold it until _that_ part of the song…

 

 It took all he had not to close his eyes against the ice rushing past his upside-down head, and a soft squeeze on his waist told him Kai was about to let him down. He took Kai’s arms once more as the other boy let him slide down a little way, Rei’s head tucking into Kai’s stomach until he felt his feet touch the ground, and he stood upright once more. That time he did hear cheers – particularly from the corner where Brooklyn and the others were…

**‘You're falling out of reach**

**Defying gravity, yeah**

**I know you're out there**

**Somewhere out there.’**

 

 He was smiling again breathless. He was getting very dizzy now. His stomach didn’t like being upside down, and it offered a foreboding lurch as Kai turned him again. His arms straightened as Kai lifted him up over his head again, and Rei smiled through his dizziness, he leant back, his lover’s hand sliding to the small of his back as Kai spun on the ice, until the music slowed once more.

 

**‘You're falling back to me**

**The star that I can see**

**I know you're out there.**

**Oh, You're falling out of reach…’**

 

 He slid down into Kai’s arms, welcoming the feel of his feet touching down again. His own arms wrapped around Kai’s neck, as that body curved around him, the two of them leaning forwards, recovering from the vertigo briefly before he released Kai’s hand, skating across the ice away from him. Their eyes met across the rink, and he nodded slightly, preparing for the one move that thwarted him so thoroughly in their performances so far. Today he was going to nail it…

**‘Defying gravity**

**I know you're out there**

**Somewhere out there.’**

 

Kai watched with bated breath as Rei followed the slow music’s pace, approaching gently at first, until it changed again. Rei pushed back hard on the ice, darting forwards. Kai’s arms moved up, Rei’s hands caught his shoulders and he threw himself up into the air. But this time, Kai caught his hips. Rei’s arms fanned out as did his legs, and Kai held him there. Rei beamed. They’d done it!

 

**‘You're falling back to me**

**The star that I can see, yeah**

**I know you're out there**

**Somewhere out there**

**You're falling out of reach**

**Defying gravity, yeah**

**I know you're out there**

**Somewhere out there.’**

 

 Kai brought him down at last, pushing him back gently; the euphoria of their success in that move still not having left Rei’s flushed face as the boy pursued him as he covered the ice. Sliding into place he nodded quickly, Rei showed no respond, but he had understood. Kai kept moving but Rei remained, one leg stretched out, and his body twisting into a final spin on one skate. His heart raced alongside the pace of his raging mind. If Kai didn’t come into this move at the right time, he could get hurt, especially with the speed he was spinning…

 

**‘You're falling back to me**

**I know , I know**

**You're falling out of reach**

**I know.’**

 

 Kai swallowed hard, holding his breath as he skated forwards, Rei was still spinning perfectly, all Kai had to do was catch him at the right time – when Rei’s skate was less likely to hurt him. With a final sharp kick off against the racing ice, his arms came out, seizing Rei’s waist softly, and Rei smiled as Kai tilted him back into his arms, twirling gently out into the middle of the ice once more. He stopped, and once hand reached up the dazzling lights as the other rested on Rei’s hip, and the smaller boy slid down against his body, poised with expert stillness. It was over.

 

 The dying music was drowned out by the screaming applause, and Kai helped Rei find his feet, kissing his cheek softly as they approached the sidelines. If they weren’t mistaken (and they were sure they weren’t) they had just earned all-but full points from the surrounding judges, who looked unusually pleased.

 

 One unseen slip-up could not taint the performance that was their best by far. They had even conquered the manoeuvre that had nearly resulted in complete failure on their first performance. It had been hard, and unnerving, but it was worth it. It seemed like everything worth doing in life required effort, and the more difficult the task, the more valuable the reward. Rei glanced over to Kai, who still had hold of his hand, the Slate-haired boy smiling up at Brooklyn who was shouting his praise down to him. Kai’s smile… that was the biggest reward he could ever hope for…

 

 The next few moments found them standing alongside the other contestants. Kai’s arms were wrapped tightly around his chest, and both their eyes (along with everyone else’s) were trained anxiously on the score board. A deafening silence fell, and it weighed heavy upon their still breathless chests.

 

 Suddenly the board lit up, and Rei’s eyes widened. Above the crowds they heard Tala and Tyson screeching. He felt Kai’s smile against his cheek. Rei turned, leaping up onto Kai’s body in an over enthusiastic hug. They’d won. Kai’s lips showered his face with chaste kisses, and Rei’s legs locked around his hips. They’d really won!

 

 Rei didn’t let go yet, he physically couldn’t bring himself to. That moment seemed to linger, where he felt Kai’s warmth surrounding him, and all else fell away. It seemed that like so many others, the world and its inhabitants would always strive to drag him back down from the heights that his lover had raised him to. And he knew now, Kai would never let that happen…

 

 Their love defied all laws and reason… Whether it was right or wrong… It defied every science and feeling… A further kiss from the man he loved brushed against his cheek – It made him feel like he could do anything, like he could touch the skies and defy gravity itself… Under the support of the wings of this angel, he was defying gravity.

 

Whatever life throws at you may be spontaneous, but the pain and hardship are pre-ordained, and so then is the fact that it all happens for a reason, and that reason is that you may rise from it, stronger and better than before.

 

~Owari~

 

* * *

Song: "Somewhere Out There" by Our Lady Peace - not mine and I make no money from it but this was the song that originally inspired the title of this fic.

 

 Also do not own Beyblade or its characters in any way. I make no money from this fic. The original characters, chapter titles and plot(s) are mine unless stated otherwise.

 

Thank you for reading.

 

Love

Shigure-san


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